Author's Note: Thanks again for the wonderful reviews. They really keep me going. Alright, glad you guys enjoyed the cliffhanger. Now let's see what happens to Sophia.
A warning: mentions rape.
***Italics indicate a flashback for Daryl
****Bold italics indicate a dream for Daryl
A Better Man
Summary: After Carol's death, Daryl makes a desperate wish to save her. Suddenly, he finds himself back in the quarry, staring as she and her daughter cower in the shadow of her husband. With all of his memories of the future intact, can Daryl change life as he knows it?
Disclaimer: From here on out, I do not own The Walking Dead or any of its characters. I also do not own any song lyrics that you may find in this story. Their owners are listed next to them.
Chapter 24: Jury
As we taste the shadows of our lies and our sweet mistakes
We lose control, will we ever get it back?
As we try to make things better, we seem to make them worse
If I could change the world The choices that we make (make us who we are)
Is it worth fighting for
When no one's breathing, no one's breathing?
If I could have my way
I'd try to make it change
But no one's breathing, no one's breathing
Anymore
The ignorance we share (takes the pain away)
But it takes your breath away
When will we find our way?
…John Nathaniel – No One's Breathing
Daryl ran faster than he had ever run in his life, fear making his heart pound wildly in his chest. He was certain that he had never felt fear this strong before. The thought that something could happen to Sophia was more than he could take, and not because it would shatter Carol, but because it would destroy him as well.
He could hear the frightened sounds of Sophia and a young boy…Carl. He rounded the corner, bow raised. Carl was on his back, scrambling up an embankment as Sophia tried to pull him up. A walker was struggling to get at the children, but it was hindered by one leg being stuck in the mucky creek bed. Daryl hit the trigger of his bow and let the arrow pierce the skull of the shirtless walker.
Relief flooded the children's faces only to be wiped away when they looked up at their savior.
To say that Daryl Dixon was pissed off would be an understatement. He was livid as he stormed towards the two pre-teens.
"D-Daryl-" Sophia squeaked, but he ignored her, afraid that if he looked at her, he would fall apart. Instead, he zeroed in on the boy, who was pale beneath his father's hat and regarding him with wide, fearful eyes. Daryl stopped in front of the young Grimes, towering over the boy. If Daryl wasn't vibrating with anger, he would have derived a bit of satisfaction in the way that Carl cowered.
"Fetch me my arrow, Boy," Daryl snarled, making both kids jump. Carl scrambled towards the dead walker, his movements uncoordinated and fearful as he pulled the arrow out of the walker's head. He walked back and offered it to Daryl, point first. Daryl took the bolt by the shaft and then knelt to look at Carl eye-to-eye, pulling the boy closer by the front of his sweater. Daryl made sure the tip of the arrow was inches from Carl's nose.
"Ya listen to me, Kid," Daryl growled, his voice low and menacing, "If ya ever do somethin' so goddamn stupid again and put my girl in danger, this arrow is goin' in ya goddamn ass!"
"D-Daryl-"
"I'll get to ya in a minute, young lady!" Daryl snapped at Sophia. He straightened and released Carl, then noticing a flash of silver in the red and orange leaves. He bent to pick it up and realized it was his own damn gun that had been in his saddlebag on his bike, which was still up on the truck. Daryl shot forward like a cobra and grabbed Carl again by the sweater.
"This my gun?" Daryl demanded, "Ya took my gun?"
"I-I-"
"You what?" Daryl yelled, "Ya took my gun? Tryin' to be a big man? Next fuckin' time USE IT!" he roared, "Ya ain't ever hesitate when ya deal with walkers! Hesitatin' gets people killed! That thing coulda got loose! Coulda killed ya! Coulda killed Sophia!" he raged, looking down at the walker he had killed. It was then that realization hit him. This walker, with no shirt and a scraggly orange beard, was the one that had killed Dale. Daryl gritted his teeth, "Coulda killed someone back at the farm."
Daryl stalked up the embankment towards Sophia, who looked near tears, "D-Daryl, I-I'm sorry-"
He struggled to keep hold of his temper, instead telling her, as calm as he could, "Ya really wanna make ya momma look like she does in those dreams of yours?" he asked, brushing by her, "Both of ya move! Now!" he barked.
He heard them following him back towards the farm, ignoring the shamed noises that came out of the children. Once the house was in sight, Carl tried to veer off, sneak away, but Daryl was having no part in that. He grabbed him by the collar and dragged him towards the house, despite the boy's sounds of protest. Daryl shot a look back at Sophia to ensure that she was following, which she was. Daryl took them towards the house, fully intending of dropping them in front of their mothers and making the children explain what they had done.
Of course that plan was derailed when Shane came flying out of nowhere.
"Let go of him, you son-of-a-bitch!" Shane screamed, tackling him to the ground, forcing him to let go of Carl. Suddenly it was all Daryl could do to protect himself from the blows raining down on him.
"SHANE! SHANE, STOP!" Rick was screaming, but it was T-Dog and Glenn who reacted, once again surging forward to pull Shane off of Daryl. For a moment, Daryl struggled to catch his breath. Carol and Lori had their children in their arms, pulling them away from the fight. In a haze, Daryl noticed Amy was watching from her chair, Lily now fussing at the interruption to her nap. Shane was still fighting against the two men holding him back.
"You touch him again and I will beat you so fuckin' hard that-"
"Shane, stop!" Rick approached, out of breath from running to the scene from the barn. Daryl was hauled to his feet by Miguel and Andrea.
"Bad situation, Vato," Miguel said, shaking his head.
"What the hell is going on here?" Rick demanded, anger and authority in his voice.
"That son-of-a-bitch was manhandlin' Carl!" Shane spat, once again trying to get at the redneck.
"Fuck you, Asshole!" Daryl snarled back, now struggling against Miguel and Andrea, "Ya don't know shit so stop trying to spew it!"
"HEY! ENOUGH!" Rick bellowed, glancing at Daryl, "What happened?"
"Ask ya boy!" Daryl spat at him, "Found him and Sophia alone in the woods!"
Suddenly all eyes drifted to the two dirt-caked preteens.
"What?" Lori asked, her voice disbelieving. Carol was staring at her daughter in shock.
"Sophia?" she demanded. The girl was the first to crack, her mind focused only on Daryl's words from the forest as she looked at her mother.
"Carl said it would be okay," she whimpered, tears falling down her cheeks.
"Carl?" Rick now beseeched his son, his mouth a thin line as he waited for the boy to talk.
"W-we were bored," Carl stammered, "We went for a walk…" he trailed off, cringing.
"Alone?" Lori spat, "Without an adult? Without protection?"
"He had my gun," Daryl growled when it became apparent that the boy clammed up in the face of every adult in his life staring at him in disbelief, "Thought he'd be a big man and take out a walker."
"Walker?" Carol asked sharply, staring horrified at her daughter, "You speak and you speak now, young lady!" she ordered. More tears came, but Carol wasn't swayed.
"I-it was stuck in the m-mud," Sophia got out, "It c-couldn't get us so we w-were throwing rocks at it and then it got loose…"
"You what?" Carol demanded, horror and anger seeping into her tone, "Sophia Lynn, how could you?"
"I'm sorry, Momma!" Sophia cried, but Carol looked like there was a war going on inside of her as relief and anger fought it out.
"I shot the geek," Daryl injected, "just as it was about to clamp onto the Lil' Prince's leg," and with a glare at Shane, who had gone still, he added, "Though if the thanks I get for it is a bloodied up nose, then maybe I oughta have let the walker manhandle him," he spat, turning to walk away.
"Daryl…thank you," Rick choked out, his hand clapping down hard on his son's shoulder as Lori continued to hold Carl close to her. Daryl glared.
"Just keep a fuckin' eye on your kid 'fore he runs off and ends up killin' mine," he spat, turning in the direction of the screaming baby, who was not tolerating the yelling. Lily howled from her new position in Jacqui's arms as the woman tried in vain to calm her. Daryl took the baby, "Probably hungry," he said, still seething, but now controlled as he carried the baby back up to the house.
Adrenaline was ebbing away now, along with his anger. Now he just felt tired and frustrated. His body ached; he could feel every single one of Shane's punches. He was sure that his torso was covered in bruises, but thankfully, he had succeeded in protecting his head for the most part. His nose quit bleeding. He moved into the kitchen, where Beth and Maggie were fixing up some lunch.
"Rough mornin'?" Maggie asked, flicking on the kettle for him.
"Ugh. Just take me out to pasture," he grunted, sitting down at the table. He heard as the screen door slammed shut and then as the door to his room closed. If he really focused, he could make out Carol scolding Sophia behind the door.
"Heard the yellin'," Maggie admitted as she ripped lettuce, "Figured it'd be you and Shane."
"Glad we're so damn predictable," Daryl groused. He noticed that Beth was looking at him, or more specifically, at the baby. Carol had filled him in on Beth's suicide attempt. The teenager had sliced her wrist with a shard from a broken mirror, but Maggie and Lori caught her in the act and stopped her from doing any real damage. Carol had explained that Maggie was terrified that Beth would try again, sticking to her sister like glue, but looking at the blond now, Daryl couldn't see it. She was staring at the baby with wonder, like everybody else on this damn farm, and for a moment, Daryl wondered if Rick had been correct when he said that Lily gave them all hope. He supposed that if a little baby could make it this far, then they all could.
"Wanna hold her?" he asked the younger of the sisters, "Gotta make Lil' Whoops her bottle."
"Lil' Whoops?" Maggie asked, turning to watch as Beth accepted the baby, "Are you serious?"
"Well, she weren't exactly part o' the plan," Daryl replied, readying the bottle of formula.
"Still!" Maggie protested, "It's gonna give her a complex."
"She's three days old," Daryl shrugged, screwing on the nipple and shaking the bottle, "Ain't gonna matter much. And if ya think that's gonna give her a complex, wait 'til she meets her pa."
"He can't be that bad," Beth said softly, still enthralled with baby Lily's big blues.
"Jury's still out on him," Daryl replied. He handed her the bottle and watched for a moment as his niece sucked away, happier than a clam. Satisfied that one of his girls was well taken care of, he looked to the bedroom door. While he was still angry at the thought of Sophia being in danger, stepping away from the group and taking care of Lily had calmed him down some. He had to check himself for the sake of the little life he was responsible for and so far, he had done pretty good with it. Maybe he was alright right now to join whatever was going on in that bedroom. He glanced again to Beth, who was enthralled and grinning at the baby and asked, "Can ya two watch her for a couple minutes?"
"Sure. We got her," Maggie answered from the island. That was all Daryl needed to hear as he moved out into the living room towards the bedroom door, but just as he neared it, it opened up and Carol stepped out. She looked drained and when she caught his eye, he was relieved as hell that she wasn't crying. She took a breath and shut the door behind her. Then she walked past him and leaned against the opposite wall, running her hands through her short hair. Then she looked at him.
"Sit down," she gestured to a chair. He obeyed, keeping his eyes on her.
"Ya okay?" he asked. She moved so that she stood in between his knees. She tilted his chin up to examine his face.
"Was it just your nose?" she wondered, deflecting the question. He smiled wryly up at her and nodded.
"Knew enough to protect my damn face this time," Daryl replied, "Everythin' alright?"
Carol let out a long sigh and moved her hands to massage his shoulders, "She's upset about what happened."
That didn't surprise Daryl. The kid had been crying out in the yard. From which part, he didn't know, though, "And you?" he asked tentatively. He wondered if she would be pissed at him for yelling at her kid. Her hands worked his shoulders a little harder.
"I keep trying to remind myself that I should be thankful that she's safe, but at the same time…I'm so angry that she put her life in danger like that," she admitted, her voice higher now with stress, "Of all the ridiculous things…how could she…why…" Carol's chest was heaving and her mouth was a thin line. Now her massage turned almost painful as she worked out whatever frustration was going through her on his shoulders.
"She's safe," he said in hopes that she would calm down a little.
Carol sighed, "I just…I should've…She was with Amy and Lily, so I decided to help Jacqui with some of the laundry. I was three feet away!" Carol growled, too frustrated to see the look of pain that crossed his face when the massage definitely took a painful turn, "When Carl came up and asked her to go with him, I said it was okay. I should have asked what they were doing or kept an eye-"
He caught her forearms in his hands, forcing her to still. He had never seen her worked up like this before.
"Stop it," Daryl snapped firmly, "Ya ain't blamin' yaself for this. Them two kids have brains. They know the rules 'round here. We done told Sophia she weren't to go out in the woods without me or ya. She did it anyway followin' damn Carl 'round. Shoulda figured that slippery little Houdini was gonna be a bad influence on her."
Carol glanced down at him, blinking a couple times. The angry line that her mouth had taken now twitched upwards in amusement, "Slippery little Houdini?" she asked, trying to keep her voice neutral.
Daryl snorted, "His pa could cuff his wrists and ankles, throw him in a box, lock it, and then stick his momma on top of it and the little fucker would still manage to run off unnoticed."
Carol was smiling now at the image he created, "That's mean Daryl," she tried to scold. He relaxed now.
"Ya better?" he asked, "'Cause ya were fixin' to do more damage than Shane the way ya was goin' on my shoulders."
This earned him a blush, a nod, and an apology, which he waved off as he pulled her to him, catching her lips in his. It started off as a slow, gentle sort of kiss, but then her hands fisted his hair, holding him to her as her tongue moved into his mouth. She shifted her position slightly so that she was on his lap, but the movement caused her to brush against his hardening erection. His hands shot out to her hips to hold her in place.
"Ya wanna?" he whispered huskily, "'Cause if ya do, we gotta move."
Carol rested her forehead on his. She had that look again, the one she got when there was an internal battle going on inside her. Finally she sighed, "We can't. The baby's in the next room and we still have to talk to Sophia."
He let out a long sigh, "We'll talk to Sophia," he groaned, "but then I'm gonna make ya forget ya own name."
"Promise?" she flirted, shooting him a smirk as she pushed herself off of his lap.
"Christ woman," Daryl growled, willing his little problem to go away, "Ya sure ya want me in there?" he wondered, more to distract himself than anything. She quirked an eyebrow at him, wondering what made him ask her that.
"You care about her, about both of us…you're a big part of her life now and what you said to Rick earlier…" she trailed off and Daryl suddenly remembered what he had said, calling Sophia his kid.
"Didn't overstep anythin' did I?" he wondered, his heart pounding. She shook her head.
"Honestly? It means the world to me that you care about her like that," Carol admitted, "I don't mind sharing her with you. We're both lucky to have you in our lives."
Her words had him smiling and he got to his feet. He followed her into the bedroom, where Sophia was curled up on her cot. She sat up to look at them and Daryl could feel his heart shatter in his chest. She looked positively miserable with tears falling down her cheeks and more in her red-rimmed eyes. She clutched her doll tightly to her chest and whimpered a little when she saw Daryl and Carol there.
"Sophia, Daryl and I would like to talk to you," Carol led in, biting her lip.
"Momma, I'm sorry," Sophia apologized, sniffling. Carol sat down on the bed across from Sophia.
"I know you are, Honey, but do you understand why Daryl and I are so upset?" Carol asked, "You really scared us. If something happened to you…"
"I know," Sophia whispered, glancing quickly at Daryl and then away again, "I shouldn't have went in the trees with Carl."
"The hell were ya thinkin'?" Daryl wondered. Sophia wouldn't look at him.
"Carl said it was okay," she mumbled, "He said he had a gun and he could take care of us."
"But you knew it wasn't okay, Sophia. That's why I'm upset. You put yourself in danger," Carol told her, "Daryl and I told you that you weren't supposed to go out into the woods without an adult."
"Just 'cause that kid says somethin' don't mean ya have to do it," Daryl said, "That kid ain't always got the right ideas. He coulda got ya both killed today," he sighed when Sophia kept her gaze locked on Carol's knee, "Dammit, Rabbit, look at me," he ordered. She jumped and raised her eyes to his hesitantly. Daryl huffed out a breath, "Ya gotta use that head of yours, Girl. Always think for yaself. Don't know what I'd do if somethin' happened to ya."
Something in Sophia's face changed, confused, "You don't hate me?" she asked softly. Daryl's eyebrows shot to his hairline.
"Hell no! The hell ya think that for?" he asked. Sophia shifted uneasily and clutched her doll tighter.
"You were so mad…"
"Ah, shit," Daryl cursed, "Soph, ya remember when I told ya that when grown-ups are scared, sometimes we act stupid?" he asked. Sophia frowned.
"You were scared?" she asked as if she couldn't believe it.
"Terrified, Kid," Daryl admitted, "Thought I lost ya."
"Oh," Sophia said softly, "Sorry for making you scared, Daryl. And I'm sorry for making you scared too, Momma."
"We know," Carol said, pulling Sophia to her in a hug, "but for the next little while, I want you where we can keep an eye on you. You're going to start helping more with the chores, alright?"
Sophia hardly looked thrilled about it, but she nodded. Daryl chuckled.
"Suck it up, Kid," he told her, placing his hand on her shoulder, "We all gotta take our lumps-"
He was interrupted by a knock on the door. Rick's face appeared there, "Carol, Daryl, we're gonna start the meeting here pretty soon. We'll be in the sitting room," he informed them quickly before closing the door to go alert the others. Daryl and Carol exchanged weary looks. They had a feeling it would be a long evening.
Beth and Jimmy agreed to watch the three children upstairs while the adults discussed the life and death of the prisoner. Carl had protested, but stern glares from his parents sent him pouting upstairs. Sophia was more good-natured about it, giving Daryl and Carol both quick hugs before she followed Beth and Lily up the stairs. To appease Shane, Rick sent Miguel, the supposed outsider, to take watch on the porch. This meant that fourteen people would be deciding Randall's fate.
"We all know why we're here," Rick opened up, standing in the center of the room, "We're here to put it to a vote about what we do with the prisoner."
"Does it have to be unanimous?" Andrea asked.
"Majority rules," Lori decided. Daryl resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Of course the unofficial first lady would get to decide how things were run.
"Let's just see where everybody stands and then we can talk through the options," Rick decided.
"Hell, way I see it, there's only one way to move forward," Shane commented. And despite everything, Daryl found himself agreeing with his rival.
"Killing him, right?" Dale spat, "Why even bother to take a vote? It's clear which way the wind's blowing."
"Well, if people believe we should spare him, I want to know," Rick said fairly.
"I can tell you that it's a small group," Dale revealed, "Maybe just me, Glenn, Amy, and Andrea."
Glenn hesitated and looked away, causing Daryl to narrow his eyes in a question, to which Glenn replied, "Look, I think you're pretty much right about everything all the time, but this…"
"They've got you scared!" Dale accused.
"He shot at us!" Glenn protested, "He would have killed me…any of us and he wouldn't have given it a second thought!"
At this betrayal, Dale looked to Hershel and Maggie, "How about you? Do you agree with this?" he asked.
"Couldn't we continue keepin' him prisoner?" Maggie asked Rick.
"Just another mouth to feed," Daryl piped up for his spot leaning against the wall beside Carol.
"You sure didn't think that when you brought your strays back," Shane commented from the fireplace. Daryl rolled his eyes.
"I'm agreein' with ya, dumb ass," Daryl growled, "Miguel was different. He saved my life. He's not a threat. He helps us."
"And Randall could do the same thing!" Dale beseeched him, "He could be an asset! Give him a chance to prove himself!"
"Already told ya why I ain't lettin' him walk 'round here," Daryl stated firmly.
"We could put an escort on him," Maggie suggested.
"And who wants to volunteer for that duty?" Shane wondered sarcastically.
"I will!" Dale volunteered.
"I don't think any of us should be walkin' around with this guy," Rick cautioned.
"He's right. I wouldn't feel safe unless he was tied up," Lori said.
"I agree," Carol said softly.
"Well, we can't exactly put chains on his ankles and sentence him to hard labour," Andrea replied.
"Look, say we let him join us," Shape hypothesized, "Maybe he's helpful. Maybe he's nice. We let our guard down, maybe he runs off and brings back his thirty men."
"So the answer is to kill him for crimes he may never even attempt?" Dale asked, looking between Shane and Daryl, "If we do this, we're saying, 'there's no hope. Rule of law is dead. There is no civilization.'"
"Oh my God," Shane scoffed.
"Ain't that we're sayin' all that," Daryl told Dale, "Just that we're protectin' what's ours."
"Could you drive him further out?" Hershel wondered, "Leave him like you planned?"
"You barely came back this time," Lori replied, shaking her head, "There are walkers, you could break down, you could get lost…"
In Daryl's opinion, it was a flimsy excuse at best, almost like she was convincing her husband to just accept it and take Shane's course of action.
"Maybe we shouldn't put our own people at risk," Glenn suggested.
"If you were to go through with it, how would you do it?" Patricia asked from beside Maggie, "Would he suffer?"
"Hang him, right?" Shane looked to Rick, "Snap his neck?"
Daryl shuddered, now realizing that was exactly what Shane would do if Randall survived the night.
"I thought about that. Shooting may be more humane," Rick corrected.
"What about the body?" T-Dog asked, "Would-"
"Woa! Hold on!" Dale cried, "You're talking about this like it's already been decided! This is a young man's life! It's worth more than a five minute conversation. Is this what it comes to? We kill someone because we can't decide what else to do with him?" he shook his head in disbelief, "You saved him, Rick! Now look at us! He's been tortured and he's going to be executed! How are we any better than these people that we're so afraid of?" Dale wondered, looking around the group. The rest hung their heads, chastised by Dale. Only one person spoke up to challenge Dale, the last one any of them expected.
"I killed someone, Dale," Carol announced, drawing all eyes to her at this declaration, "I killed my husband because he was going to rape my daughter. I would do anything to make sure that she's never in that position again. If executing this man is going to protect her from that, then I don't care if you think that I'm no better than those other people."
Silence filled the room. Daryl reached over to lace his fingers with hers. He had never been more proud of her than he was in that moment.
"We all know what needs to be done," Shane commented.
"No, Dale's right. We can't leave any stone unturned," Rick refuted, "We have responsibilities-"
"So what's the other solution?" Andrea interrupted, only to be snapped at by Lori demanding that Rick be allowed to finish. Andrea continued after shooting a glare at Lori, "We haven't come up with a single viable option yet. I wish we could-"
"So let's work on it!" Dale shouted.
"We are-" T-Dog protested.
"Stop it!" Jacqui piped up from T-Dog's side, "This fighting is gettin' us nowhere. We need to make a decision here and we need to do it like civilized people."
Rick sighed, and then said, "Anyone who wants the floor before we make a final decision, now's your chance."
Dale stepped forward.
"You once said that we don't kill the living-"
"That was before the living tried to kill us," Rick snapped back.
"But don't you see?" Dale beseeched him, "If we do this, the people that we were, the world that we knew, is dead! And this new world is ugly. It's harsh. It's survival of the fittest! And that's a world I don't want to live in and I don't believe any of you do. I can't. Please let's just do what's right."
"Let's vote," Rick stated after a moment, "All those in favour of execution?"
Shane, Lori, Daryl, Carol, Glenn, T-Dog, Jacqui, Patricia, Hershel, and Maggie raised their hands. Rick counted. Andrea, Amy, and Dale were the only ones left. Dale shook his head in disgust.
"Are you all going to watch too? Nah. You'll all go hide your heads in your tents and try to forget we're slaughtering a human being. I won't be a party to it," Dale refused, pushing past Daryl and out the door.
"We do this at sundown. Shane? Daryl?" Rick looked to the pair of them. Shane nodded. Daryl hesitated. Though he knew that he had Carol's support, he was still hesitant. Then there was Dale. Even though the walker that killed him was dead, there still could be others.
"Take T," Daryl refused, "I'm gonna keep an eye on the old man. Didn't like the way he walked outta here."
"He just needs to simmer down," Shane scoffed.
"He needs to understand," Daryl corrected, "I'll keep an eye on the group. You guys take care of the prick in the shed."
TBC
So after rewatching the jury scene in 'Judge, Jury, and Executioner', all I have to say is wow. I just didn't appreciate it all until now. First off, Dale is so concerned about the group losing their humanity, even accusing the group of being no better than Randall's group (which was a little harsh). Next, we have an excellent bit of foreshadowing when Shane comments that they were going to snap Randall's neck. And then there was Carol. She spoke up in front of the group and actually put herself into the conflict. I wanted to preserve that part for her because it showed growth for her character in the original, but I think that in this case, she would be more involved in wanting Randall removed from Sophia's life.
Next chapter: Dale and Daryl have a heart-to-heart and an interruption causes Shane to take matters into his own hands.
Read and review! Let me know how you feel about this chapter and what you see in the future! Your reviews keep me going!