Chapter 25: About Steve

It always hurt when relationships didn't work out. It had hurt Tony deeply when Obadiah had betrayed his trust. It was still hurting that he and Pepper hadn't worked out, albeit on an entirely different level; Tony could see now that he and Pepper worked better as friends and considered her one of his closest. This break-up between him and his ex-teammates hurt no less.

But it was necessary.

His trust in the Avengers had been betrayed threefold.

As his friends they showed him that he'd been a mere afterthought to them; if it came down to picking sides between him or any other friend, his side would always be picked last. As his teammates they proved to be unreliable; they'd prioritized their friendship with Steve over their own common sense and judgment. And as heroes? They had failed entirely. After pledging to protect the people, they had shown the world that they'd rather serve their own interests and chase after their own agendas.

Even the power of forgiveness was not enough to overcome a threefold betrayal. That lack of trust could not be repaired by words alone.

Still, even though Tony had chosen to break off their relationship, he still cared about them. Those emotions wouldn't simply disappear just because he made a choice.

Clint's continued sobbing was getting to him.

The man was regretting and hurting, and his pain was affecting Tony.

"Hey, Clint," he said after a moment, "it will be alright."

"No, it— it won't," Clint hiccuped, "everyone is leaving me. Laura's divorcing me. Nat's gone. Now you're saying that we're not friends anymore. I'm losing everything and I can't do anything to fix it!"

"You still have Steve," said Tony, but Clint let out a bitter laugh.

"Yeah, right! Steve left. He just… he just changed one day. It 's like he wasn't even himself anymore. And then… and then, without a word, he just left us behind in Wakanda and disappeared."

The revelation made Tony's heart skip a beat.

Change? Surely not―

"When you say the Cap suddenly changed, did it happen around Monday three weeks ago?"

That had been the right thing to say to make Clint stop crying. His eyes snapped into focus and he looked up at Tony questioningly. It was Wanda, however, who spoke his thoughts.

"How do you know this?"

"Well, uh… I might have made a call the night before," Tony answered them awkwardly.

"A call?"

Tony shrugged. "Steve send me a phone with that stupid letter and―" He stopped when he saw their befuddled looks. "―Steve didn't tell you about the phone?"

Expressions darkening, the two shook their heads.

"He didn't," said Clint.

"Ah, well." Tony fidgeted. "He send me a cell phone with a letter and told me to call him, so I did."

"What did you two talk about that caused Steve to change like he did?" asked Wanda.

Tony's spine stiffened. He could see that Wanda hadn't meant to, but even though she had voiced her question neutrally, it was essentially phrased in such a manner that it subtly put the blame for what happened on Tony's shoulders. She wasn't even aware that she was doing it, but the unconscious bias was there. Tony understood that it wasn't possible for Wanda to change those many years of build-up negative feelings against him overnight, even though she was regretting her past choices and had chosen to give up her hate for him. She was trying, but it would take more time for the bias to disappear.

He eyed her watchfully, while he considered his words. "Steve and I… we spoke of the same things that you and I have been talking about just moments ago. My conversation with him went less smooth however, than the one I'm having with you so far."

"So… you two argued?" Wanda guessed.

Tony nodded slowly. "You could say that."

"But…" Clint pointed out, "you and Steve always argue. It wouldn't have fazed Steve to this extent, if it was just that."

Tony cleared his throat uncomfortably. "I did tell him that he could go fuck himself and to never contact me again."

A silent beat followed.

Then Clint hesitantly asked, "Does this, uh… have anything to do with that restraining order you have against him? And that whole media circus outside?"

"Possibly," Tony responded evasively.

"So, you and the Cap are―"

"―Not married," Tony interjected. The very thought made him feel sick.

Clint gave him a look. "Then why put a restraining order under 'spousal abuse'?"

Tony had repeatedly asked himself the same thing ever since that media circus had shown up in front of his Tower. It had been a stupid move to make, and he blamed it on the panic attack he'd suffered after Captain Asshole's visit. He should've filed the charge under 'unlawfully accessing private property' instead.

"FRIDAY made a mistake filing it," said Tony. His white lie unfortunately did not sit well with the AI.

"Boss," she protested, "you specifically ordered me to file the charge un―"

"Mute FRIDAY!" Tony cut in hastily.

This outburst caused his two guests to give him suspicious looks. He ignored them, however, in favor of specifying his order to his AI.

"I don't want to hear you unless it's a code red emergency, FRI."

When his AI remained silent afterwards, he let out a sigh of relief. He turned his attention back to Clint and Wanda. "I was drunk," he said by way of explanation. He knew, though, that the lie would not hold up to their scrutiny, and so he sourly added, "Quit pro quo. Unless you'll let me ask about Laura or your time with HYDRA, I don't want to talk about this."

They didn't push the matter further.

"Speaking of Steve…" Clint began, then hastily adding, "―but not the restraining order!" He fidgeted. "So, what happened in Siberia?"

The question instantly set Tony on guard. "What did Steve say that happened?"

Clint frowned thoughtfully. "Not much, he was rather evasive. He told us that you came to help him and Bucky, but that Zemo got to you. He said he fought you in Siberia and that he managed to dismantle your suit. Then, after he managed to subdue you, he and Bucky left with T'Challa, who had apprehended Zemo in the meantime. He wouldn't elaborate further than that."

"Do you believe the Cap?" Tony prodded.

Clint narrowed his eyes at Tony. "I know you're apprehensive to tell me things because I've shown nothing but bias towards the Cap up til now, and I'm really sorry for that, Tony. But even I can tell that Steve gave me an edited version of the events."

"Steve is very…" Wanda carefully chose her words, "...protective. I've noticed that he likes to shield us from things that could hurt our feelings. He knows Clint is sensitive about mind manipulations after being controlled by Loki, and didn't want to upset him. He also didn't tell me."

Tony laughed bitterly. "Oh, yeah, I know about Steve's brand of protectiveness alright. Got personal experience with it."

Wanda returned Tony's comment with a grim smile of her own. "I never bothered to correct Steve because I was too preoccupied dealing with adjusting to life as an Avenger, my brother's death, and―" she flashed the man a guilty look then, "―many things. But I know that Steve's brand of protectiveness wasn't good."

Tony let out a deep sigh at that. He left the coffee machine to return to his seat at the table, where he ran a tired hand through his hair, mussing it up. "Steve's version of the story..." he began, as he thought of how much he wanted to say to the two, "…is true."

He quickly decided that they did not need to know about his parents murder, or the fact that Steve had technically killed Tony in Siberia. He wasn't going to drag Steve's name down into the mud. At this point telling would serve no one's purpose: his mother wouldn't come back; it would only create rifts between his former friends and spread more fear around. He didn't want that.

"Zemo didn't brainwash me the way he did with Barnes, Clint. But he did manage to get to me badly. He manipulated me like an expert puppeteer. Steve and I then fought and Steve…"

The memories of a shield raised over his head flashed in front of his eyes and Tony felt the beginnings of a panic attack coming up as his hands began to tremble. He tightened his grip around his mug to stop the shaking.

Not now.

"Steve left with Bucky."

The words were pushed out through Tony's clenched teeth. Clint and Wanda noticed how out of it their host suddenly seemed.

"Tony…?" Wanda asked warily, the turmoil inside him so strong that it began to pull at her powers.

"DON'T!" Tony yelled.

A red spark ignited and Tony's mug of coffee exploded, spilling hot liquid over his hand. The pain brought him out of his memories and he cursed, running to the sink to put his hand under the tap. Ice cold water hit his skin to soothe the aching burns.

Silently, Tony both thanked and cursed Wanda's lack of control over her powers. She had stopped his panic attack, but she had connected with his emotions. How much did she know?

Tony let out another curse.

I need to take control of this.

"Look," he said. "Everything Steve told you is true, that's all you need to know. As for details… he and I did not part amicably. We fought and it wasn't like the punching match we had at Leipzig airport, okay? It was brutal. That's why he didn't want to tell you."

He glanced back at them, only to find Clint looking at him with disbelief and growing horror in his eyes.

"Brutal?" Clint said. "In comparison to Leipzig airport, where Rhodey lost his goddamn legs, this was brutal? What the fuck happened in Siberia!"

Fuck.

Tony gritted his teeth.

"Captain America showed me what he was capable of, so I filed a restraining order against him. Let's just leave it at that."

TBC...