[I technically was going to put this up yesterday night, but for some reason my computer wouldn't let me upload my chapter. :( So, here's the yesterday chapter, and another one will probably come today.]
So, I decided, even though I had already previously decided that I wouldn't, that I'm going to write another chapter. However, this chapter is going to be another rough one . . . meaning: more death.
Today's a dark and depressing day for me . . . So death seems to be the way to go. Unfortunately, it's going to be ridiculously depressing. Forgive me.
On that already rather downward note, thank you for all the views, reviews, favorites and follows. You guys make me really happy, so thanks a million.
I also hope you enjoy the chapter, no matter how depressing it may be, or is.
Happy/depressed/heart-felt reading then. ^.^
And as usual, One Piece belongs to Oda, and Rosalie and Lucy belong to me.
Chapter 24: Lithium
"People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain."
Assured by my Great-Aunt Lucy, I learned and believed that pain was something to embrace rather than to fear. Ace and I decided that we needed to have me embrace the pain of Red's death, his execution, so that I may be able to breathe well and easy, no matter the losses I have suffered.
However, my Great-Aunt Lucy failed to see her fate, as did I. Unfortunately, her demise is another laced with both death and deception. And I, moreover, will fail to see that as well.
How was I to know that someone would ever come after that old coot?
Ace and I really had worn ourselves out with all that dancing. We truly were crazy kids last night, but it was fun, so much fun! I don't think I've ever felt so fun and carefree in ages. Not until I met Ace that is. And personally, we "probably" shouldn't have had that much alcohol. (?) Ah, well, either way . . . it was exciting and carefree.
The unfortunate thing was: We were so tired; I actually found I was unable to walk out from the club. And yet Ace, in all his immeasurable strength and state of drunkenness, was able to hold me and carry me, bridal style of course, to an inn and even went as far as to purchase a room. The guy is amazing.
Ace slowly approached the room with me in my tired state, and unlocked the large, brown door. Walking over to the bed, Ace carefully unfolded the covers, placing me on the downy sheets, and then covered me with them.
He then walked on into the bathroom, and took a bath. I slept into a deep slumber – an unfortunate nightmare.
Lucy McCallum, sleeping in a peaceful slumber, was awakened by Anne, her helpful servant - if you will – and friend.
"Miss Lucy! Miss Lucy! You have a visitor requesting your immediate presence."
"Whom do you mean?" Lucy asked, clearly annoyed to be up at this unfortunate and ridiculous hour.
"Your nephew, Thomas, is here. You know? The one that had captured Miss Rosalie." Anne hinted to Lucy, trying to grasp at anything in her memory banks.
"Oh? Hm, Thomas? Ah, yes, that nephew. Well, this is one conversation destined to be, wasn't it?"
"If that is how you feel, Miss Lucy. Shall I get your clothes?"
"If you would."
"Yes, ma'am, I shall. Please wait."
And so, Anne and Lucy prepared to speak with Thomas, the unfortunate Marine of an uncle, and a certain creep of one at that.
"Tom, do sit down. I don't know what it is about this part of the family, but no one seems to know and understand proper etiquette when invited into one's home. Just because I'm your aunt, it does not mean I will baby you."
Tom looked at her with a spiteful gaze, but did as he was told. "I know you understand that I no longer view you as an elder, correct?"
"Ah, yes, I am well aware. State your purpose, you ingrate."
Anne proceeds to give Lucy some chamomile tea whilst waiting for Tom's reason for the "visit".
"I think you know: Rosalie Cass, your great-niece. I believe the two of you had a nice chat only a short while ago."
"A nice chat? Pish-posh. That child is almost as nearly as hopeless as you are. I tried to instill the slightest bit of wisdom into her, and look where it's gotten me? My darn nephew yelling at me! Who could believe it?!"
"Quit playing around, you old coot. Where is she?"
"Now, now young man, do not admonish your elders. I don't know her location, or her plans to where she's going. All I know is that she was sent, by me nonetheless, with Ace to some destination. I was their mediator, and let me just say, my plans were put to fruition deliciously well. They're quite happy, so I would honestly recommend you leave the two of them alone."
"Oh, if I even had the slightest care in the world, I still wouldn't leave them alone. Big things are coming, don't you know? Red is dead. You hear me? Dead."
At this remark, Lucy chokes on her tea. "You jest me, you vile boy."
"Ha! You believe me to be a liar? I watched the procession of the execution with my own two bloody eyes! Mikael handed him over to Fleet Admiral Sengoku himself. He died for that stupid, uncontrollable menace he raised. That damn Rosalie screwed everything up. She needs to be restrained and taught the correct way to live one's life. The path of the Marines is the only path - not this stupid crazed idea of a pirate's life."
"H'he's dead. I cannot believe he has died. Mikael sent him himself? How dare he? Who gave that fool the right? Does he not understand how unhappy his own damn kid is? Now we have another heart to mourn over. Her life is her own, Thomas. You do not have the right to meddle into it on his behalf."
"I can meddle all I want, especially if Mikael and Sengoku advise me to. Red died by the power of the just and the true. Any Marine would know that. Sengoku even went as far as to praise him for it! And now, I have come for you."
"I beg your pardon?" Lucy spluttered out, believing she had heard a falsehood.
"Well, Sengoku's orders were explicitly clear: Kill any and all who aid in the passage of Rosalie Cass and Portgas D. Ace. And you, my dear old aunt, have done just that!"
"So, you come to me, informing me of what is yet to come, and my own demise? How kindhearted a man you are, young Thomas."
"My rank will be raised exponentially if I follow my orders from those above me. Now, how would you like to go?"
"You give me a choice? How sweet. I'd hate to have a surprise."
"Oh, no, that was a joke. I already did ~!"
"Do you honestly take me for a fool?"
At this comment, Tom evilly grins at Lucy. "Why, no, not you, but your dear Anne? She was fair game. With a few threatening words, and a probe from a weapon, my katana, and the job was done. Poison, my dear, poison in that beautiful porcelain cup of yours."
"Oh, Anne!" Lucy coughed out before a trail of blood escaped her lips, her nose, and her ears. And soon thereafter, Lucy McCallum fell right clean out of her chair, directly onto the floor.
"Any last words, my dearest aunt?" Thomas asks, getting a sort of sick pleasure out of the moment.
"Yes, you foolish boy, I do. Rosalie will get you, and if not Rosalie, I'm sure she can find it in her power to go after Shanks and get something done. They know and clearly understand the truth. Mark my words - you've been warned."
And soon thereafter, in only a few short minutes, Lucy had died.
Another person dead at the hands of the Marines.
Tom laughed maniacally, clearly enjoying his victory. "Now, Miss Anne, if you would please come over here."
Anne slowly approaches the sick creep who murdered her master, feeling purely wretched for being the one to aid in the kill, all because she was forced to. "Y-yes?"
"You did well; I know that was as hard and difficult task for you. However, fret not! You'll be joining Lucy."
In her state of shock, Tom took advantage of the situation and stabbed her with his katana, directly into her heart.
Two birds killed with one stone.
The Marines had won another battle, yet again.
I woke up, breathing heavily.
In my fright, I had actually spooked Ace awake.
"What's wrong, Rosie?" Ace asks me concerned.
All I can think about is the lyrics to "Lithium" by Evanescence.
I can't hold onto me
"Lucy, its Lucy. She's dead, Ace."
Wonder what's wrong with me
"What happened? She can't be dead. No one was tailing her."
Don't wanna let it lay me down this time
"Tom, it was all Tom's doing!" I choke out in anger.
Drown my will to fly
Ace hugs me close, and notices the tears that now don my face.
Here in the darkness I know myself
How could another one of my close ones die? How could I fail to save someone yet again?
Can't break free until I let it go, let me go
I. HATE. THIS. SIGHT. OF. MINE.
"Rosalie, shh, shh. It's okay; it'll be okay," Ace whispers in my ear as he rocks me to and fro to try and suppress my tears of anguish.
Always find my place among the ashes
Why? Why would anyone want to find their place among the ashes? My poor, annoying and conceited, yet wise great-aunt just had her life taken away from her heinously. Why did she deserve such a fate?
"Ace . . . Why does this happen again and again?"
He looks pensively into the corner of the room. "I don't know. I truly do not know. What I do know, however, is that your great-aunt loved us. She believed in us. So, together, you and I will carry out her will – the will she designated to the two of us."
"I can't keep doing this . . . this dying. All this death, this hate! This horrible darkness that seems to tail us everywhere we go. I don't deserve you or your company. How can you still sit here and stay close to me knowing my psychotic family follows me? How can you feel safe and take care of me?"
"Because, Rosie, it's quite simple. I love you."
And I just cry, and cry, and cry, a waterfall of tears.
My cracks continue to break. I'm sick of being broken, downtrodden, unhappy, and depressed. And yet, I cannot find a way to climb out from the hole.
My nightmare brought the two of us through the night, so it was morning when I finally ceased my sorrowful tears.
Shakily, I rose from the bed, out of Ace's arms, and moved towards the bathroom.
"Ace . . . I'm going to take a bath, so if you're wondering where I am . . . That's where."
"Okay, Rosie. I'll be here. Just holler if you need me."
Closing the door behind me, I look into the mirror.
Is it weird that the girl I see in the mirror looks nothing like the girl that left my father and Red only a short while ago? This girl I see . . . She's deathly pale – practically ghostlike – with massive bags under her eyes. She's hollowed out a bit more than usual, with unbelievably prominent cheekbones. Her eyes lack the luster they used to have in them – the adventurousness, the fun. And her hair, her bright, shiny golden hair! It lacks the light it used to give.
This girl . . . she looks washed away by sorrow, by sadness and by grief.
And this girl . . . is me.
"Look at what you got your sorry, pathetic and useless self into, Rosalie. You literally killed everyone without actually even doing anything. You're a wreck - a mistake. What a fucking joke," I quietly speak to the girl in the mirror – myself – and continuously grow more and more angry. So angry, I lash out. I lash out hard enough that my fist not only makes some serious contact with the mirror, it completely obliterates the thing.
With a nice, malignant symphony of destruction, the mirror no longer exists to haunt me. However, it leaves a painful reminder. One of the glass shards cut a large gash on the outside of my right hand from the knuckle of my pinky finger all the way diagonally across the bottom left-side of my wrist.
"Oh, shit!" I quietly exclaim, panicking at the sight of the blood I inevitably spilled in my fit of rage. Blood was pooling around the gash, dripping all the way down my arm, all over the sink and the floor.
The room itself seemed to be filling with my blood, both the blood itself and its metallic scent. It was making me dizzy; sick. I couldn't take it. I fell onto the floor, lying on my back, and slowly, my vision begins to darken. Before I fade out entirely, the last thing I see is a petrified Ace watching me from above.
"Aye, Ace, when'd you become an angel?" I ask him in my dazed state. And then the darkness consumes me.
Before Ace and I embarked on our journey together, I loved this one song, I think it was Lavender Moon by Haroula Rose.
It was the most amazing thing to write poetry to. Her silky, dreamy and absolutely calming voice really opened my mind, my heart and my soul to my emotions. I was able to pour a lot of how I actually felt about things into words.
White walls always weep
I was always reminded of the white walls in which I lived in for a long while whilst waiting to grow out of my suicidal state of mind. Those horrid, sterile things . . . I hated them.
When I try to fall asleep
I always remembered the innumerable number of times I attempted to overcome the dreams that seemed to forever desire to plague my unhappy mind.
In this city by the sea
The fact that water has always surrounded my home and I, especially now I realized that was a sign from above, an omen of good, if you will: One day the seas would take me away.
Walk the memories
I can never not relive my memories; they are so surreal, I feel like I'm a part of them every day, even though they are in the past.
Just me and the lavender moon
I always loved reminiscing about things and looking up to the moon. My wolf would always howl up to it.
She knows
My heart belongs to you
At the time, my childlike heart belonged to Red, and his fatherly love.
Filled with secrets like these
All the drama that has seemed to encompass me now.
Haunted by long gone dreams
The unfortunate fact that I can see those dying and how they do indeed die.
She bends down low
Lucy. Lucy bent down to where I was, metaphorically.
Walks me home
She guided me to Ace; she walked me to a home that I could live in forever.
Just me and the lavender moon
Ace and I, quite simply under that big, old full moon.
She knows
My heart belongs to you
And now, my heart belongs to Ace, no matter how broken and tattered I am.
Ironically, it was those lyrics that woke me up, not the voices I heard when I came to.
"She'll be quite all right, Ace. She just took an unfortunately large cut and lost quite a bit of blood. I'm assuming she was angry at something – anything – and lashed out at whatever she could find. The poor girl must have been put through quite the ordeal. I'll leave you be."
Ace came over to my side, and slowly my eyes fluttered open. His usually nice and tan face had paled, stricken with worry.
"Oh, Ace," I croak out.
I start tearing at the eyes again. I'm really becoming an emotional basket-case.
"Rosalie, do you have any idea what you just put me through? I thought you were going to die!" He admonishes me in grief.
"Ace, I'm sorry. I was angry and I . . . I lost it."
"You just . . . lost it? Yeah, that's all good and well, but look at me, Rosalie Catherine Cass, and tell me this: What would have happened if you died, huh? Am I just supposed to just move on with my life, like I hadn't met you, or Lucy? Come on, Rosalie! That was terrifying."
"But you could have moved on! That's the thing, Ace! You're strong and I'm not. You have the will to fight whatever steps into your way. I can't even deal with the death of some crazy old great-aunt who seemed to know way more than any old woman should. I can't handle this anymore! I don't like looking at the girl I see, okay!"
"No, it's not okay. It has never been okay, and it never will be okay. If you don't like the girl you see, then fix it – fix her! I happen to love the girl I see, no matter how much she falls apart. I think you're strong, even when you and everyone else disagree. I love you. Do you even understand what that means?"
His words hurt me, like a slap in the face. I never think before I act. I'm hurting Ace just as much as I'm hurting myself.
And the problem is: I don't understand his love. It's unreal. It's unrequited. It's, quite frankly, stupid.
How can you love me?
"I. Don't. Ace. Okay?! How can you feel that way about a suicidal kid? Why can't you just leave me to die? Can't you see that's what I want? What I need?"
"No, Rosalie. No, you're wrong; it's not. What you need is to reevaluate your life, your goals and your friends. I love you because you're suicidal, because you're crazy, because you sing to yourself and write your entire life story into poetry and randomly sarcastic and vivaciously witty novels. I love you because you're that crazy blonde genius prodigy freak that stood up against all odds and won the battle. Fuck, Rosalie! You want me to leave you to die?! What kind of man do you think I am?"
"I'm the reason we're behind."
"You're being a baby, and you need to stop. If you're the reason we're behind, I'm the reason we're freaking broke, okay? I eat restaurants out of house and home. You don't complain about that, and I don't complain about you. You know why? Because we love each other. So, there. Take it or leave it."
And I have nothing to say. Not only was that the most aggressively said speech of absolute grandeur that I've ever heard, it was also the most lovable and positively romantic thing I've ever been serenaded with. So, I kept my mouth shut, and just nodded my head."
"Good. Now, get up, and get ready. We've got a breakfast to eat and a criminal to kill."
And Ace got up and walked determinedly away.
"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
Well, Ace certainly puts that quote into fruition. He CAN handle me at my worst, and if that isn't the dreamiest thing in the world, then I don't know what is.
I think he finally struck the right chord today.
I'm going to change, for him, for me, for Lucy and for Red.
We're going to find that prick, Blackbeard.
And we're going to take Mikael and Tom down.
Family or not, the good ones are the ones I love – not those two.
I'm going to make them pay for that. They're going to rue the day they ever messed with Rosalie Catherine Cass.
A/N: So, I got a life and wrote this chapter. :3 Yay me.
It came out okay, I think. I mean, is it my favorite chapter in the world, no, but is it the worst? Negative.
Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed it. Happy Saturday now that I could finally upload this chapter.
And review! :D
xoxoxo