DISCLAIMERS/NOTES

1. This is a fan fiction based on characters owned by the BBC. I DO NOT OWN THEM. This is just for fun.

2. This is a femslash story. If you don't like that sort of thing, you won't like this.

PART 25

Finally Clara reached the TARDIS, not even acknowledging the tiredness in her legs or panting of her breath. She sprinted nearly the entire way from Missy's ship, with one goal in mind: getting back to Amy.

Indeed, the inevitable breakup Clara was literally running to simply did not matter at the moment. All the teacher wanted was to see her lover, to touch her, hold her, bury herself in Amy's arms, one last time.

But... no. Something in Clara strengthened. This would not be the last time. She would not allow it. She was going to beg forgiveness, get on her knees if need be - and Clara knew that probably would be needed. She was going to swear to never hurt her fiancee again, to never leave her side, always remain faithful and true. Clara was going to devote every second of her very existence to make Amy Pond happy, and rebuild Amy's faith in her once she knew the truth. They were going to get past this. Amy was going to see how truly sorry Clara was, even if it took the rest of their lives.

It was an impossible task. But who better than the Impossible Girl to accomplish it?

Except... it was impossible. Clara knew that. After all, if she could not forgive herself, how could she expect Amy to do so? She could not; but at the same time, she could not let herself give into despair. She had to try. Until she heard the words from Amy herself, she knew there was always a chance. Was that not what the Doctor always said?

But again, Clara knew there was no chance. Not if the Doctor failed to end her pregnancy.

No, she could let herself think that. The Doctor would succeed, just as he always did, and she and Amy would be together forever.

Please...

The sight meeting Clara's eyes brought her out of her pained musings. If asked, she honestly would not be able to say what she was expecting, but... the Doctor was nowhere to be seen. Last the teacher saw, he was lying on the grass just outside the TARDIS. The TARDIS was still there. The Doctor was not.

Was Missy once again lying? Did she kill him? No... something told Clara he was still alive. Missy treated her dealings with the Doctor like a game, and killing him in the state Clara left him in would be no challenge. He had to still be alive. Clara momentarily wondered if that unknown hooded figure took him, but she and Missy's encounter with that guy was quite far from here. For whatever reason, she doubted that was the case.

No, the Time Lord must have awoken and returned to the police box. Fair enough, as that was where Amy was too - maybe even still talking to Rory. Clara strode to the blue doors, briefly remembering she did not have her copy of the key with her. The last time she was at home she was vomiting in her wedding dress, and obviously did not even think to take the key with her to the wedding itself. Surely now that would not be a problem, though. The Doctor must have fixed the issue with the TARDIS not letting her in.

But to her surprise, the doors stayed closed when Clara approached. Her anger began rising. "You can't be serious." So much for not needing her key. She tried again a couple of times, but the blue doors did not budge. "Come on, you old hag!" she yelped.

"Clara... "

Clara's eyes widened at the voice. It was coming from inside the TARDIS. "Amy?" The Scot must have seen her standing outside, but in that case, why were the doors still shut? Why was Clara's would-be-bride speaking through the external speakers? "Amy, let me in. I... I have to talk to you." More like grovel.

"I know... everything."

At that, Clara's blood froze. Oh no. No, please God no.

"What did you do... ?"

Clara could not find her voice. "I... I... " How did Amy know? Did she hear Clara earlier? Was she just pretending when she returned from Missy's TARDIS? Or did the Doctor wake up, enter to the police box and tell her? "A... Amy, please... I can explain. Just... please... please let me in."

Nothing. Instead, to the teacher's absolute horror, she heard sobbing through the speakers. It was slightly garbled, but Amy was unmistakably crying. "Amy, please... " choked Clara. "It wasn't my fault." Yes it was. "I can explain... please... " How? How could she explain? If Amy already knew, what more could Clara say? "It was a mistake," she blurted. "I'm so, so sorry. I should've told you... but I... I just... " Tears began trickling down her cheeks. "Please let me in! We can't do this like... like this! I need to see you!"

"For what?" Huh? What did Amy mean by that? Was it not obvious? Or - was it not obvious to Clara? If her would-be bride knew, why would she want to see the teacher? To just confirm it?

"Why?!" Amy suddenly screamed. "Why did you do it?! Fun? Attention? Do you even realise what you've done? You've ruined... " Her voice then crackled into more crying.

There was nothing Clara wanted to do more right now than hack into the TARDIS doors, run into the ship and hold her beloved. "Amy... please," she blubbed. "I'm sorry... I don't know... what happened. I... I just... "

Every gap in Amy's speech was filled with weeping. "I was going to marry the woman I love... and you... you... took... our life together away from us. You took... everything... from me, Clara."

Now Clara just wanted to die. Amy was saying exactly how she felt; indeed, ever since waking up in Missy's bed, all Clara could think about was how she took Amy's love, her heart, into her hands and crushed them. Then threw them on the ground and stamped on them. Because how else could it be seen? Clara knew she had taken an eternity with the perfect Amy Pond and thrown it away.

"Just the idea of... you and... her... " Clara could hear the utter disgust in Amy's voice. "Degraded. Sick."

Burying her tear-drenched face in her hands, Clara wept loudly. Her body shook in emotional agony. She moved closer to the TARDIS doors, which of course remained motionless. "I... I'm so sorry... please... please forgive me... I'll never... never hurt you again... "

But Amy's voice was unforgiving. "It's all over. After all you've done... how could we possibly... ?" She paused as more sobs escaped. "No one in their right mind would ever trust you - I don't, and the Doctor certainly doesn't. You don't deserve it. You can never be trusted."

This was the worst moment of Clara Oswald's life. She hurt the two people who meant the most to her, destroyed the faith they had in her. She felt utterly worthless.

"The truth hurts, doesn't it?"

Clara shook her head as she struggled breathing through sobs. "Amy... please... please don't... "

"And... her... children?" More revulsion in the Scot's tone. "Oh my... you really are insane. I won't stand for it. Just the idea of... it makes me sick."

Clara did not even know why she was surprised Amy knew about that. If the Doctor told her about her sleeping with Missy, then obviously he would have informed her of Clara's condition, too. "I... I'll get rid of it," she said weakly. "The Doctor can find a way... I know he can... " But she knew that was not the point. Even if the fetus was successfully removed, just the knowledge Clara carried Missy's baby would cloud over Amy forever. It certainly would over Clara.

"Why did you... ?" said Amy, before quickly breaking down again. "No, y'know what? I don't give a fuck. You'll say anything, won't you?"

Yes, Clara would. Anything to keep Amy Pond. Anything to not let the greatest thing that ever happened to her slip through her fingers. But the next thing coming through the TARDIS speakers eroded any hope Clara might have left:

"Back to Rory... " Amy struggled through more garbled sobs. "I'm go... ing... back to Rory. He... loves me. And... I... love him."

Something in Clara finally snapped. She stared blankly at the police box, then, almost like an animal, she screamed in pain and threw herself against the doors. "No no NO! Amy, PLEASE!" She clawed at the doors, desperately trying to force them open, the impossibility of it happening not even a notion in her broken mind. "I'm SORRY! PLEASE! Don't leave me! I'll make it upto you, I PROMISE! PLEASE... !

"Just... don't you ever call... ever again." Amy's tone was rising, no doubt struggling to keep the rage in, and not really succeeding. Clara could almost hear the gnawing of the Scot's teeth. "Leave us alone."

Clara entire body trembled as she gawked at the opaque windows. A few moments passed, then, to her eternal horror, the familiar grinding noises filled the air.

Before she knew it, the TARDIS was gone, and Clara was alone...

TO BE CONTINUED