Disclaimer: Neither Acherona nor trulywicked have any claim on Harry Potter or any characters or locations thereof.
Warnings: Angst, lots of it, Male Pregnancy, mental torture, infant in peril, boys in love, friendships broken and new friends gained. Disregards canon in so many ways.
MOCKINGBIRD
Chapter Twenty-Five.
Draco rolled his shoulders and stepped through the floo into the foyer of Black Manor, cocking his head and listening, a smile curving his lips as he heard bright laughter coming from the library. He walked along the hall and leaned in the doorway to watch Harry make faces and noises at Jason, tickling the baby with the stuffed dragon.
Jason had finally learned to smile properly. Harry was of a firm mind that he had smiled for a long time even though Molly insisted that it was just gas that made him grimace but there was no doubt that it was true smiles. Harry wiggled the dragon plushie in front of his son and chuckled happily when he saw that smile and watched small arms flail to grab the dragon. Harry looked up and caught sight of Draco. "Oh look Jason, Daddy's home." He sent Draco a beaming smile.
The blond walked over and knelt next to Harry on the floor, giving the brunette a short kiss before kissing Jason on the forehead and getting a happy squeal and two little hands patting his cheeks. "So what have the two of you been up to today?"
"Oh we've been very busy; we've bathed and exercised with the baby gym. Later we managed to get our little hands on Crookshanks, sucking on a furry ear." Harry looked up at Draco. "Poor Crooks, I think he's still hiding under our bed." If someone had told Harry that he would be happy staying at home, raising a baby he would have called them insane but his days were full and everyday Jason learned something new. "How was your day? We've missed you."
"Busy, Uncle Severus was practically...hyper and I refuse to contemplate why, the limp was explanation enough." Draco gave a shudder. "He had me working on windfall potions while he fiddled with some arithmetic algorithm. There's some bee in his bonnet but I've no idea what it is."
Harry chuckled though the thought of a limping, hyper Snape was just a tiny bit scary. "I'm glad he and Remus are happy, they deserve it. Sorry that he's running you haggard though, he'll tell you what he's on about as soon as he figure it out I think. It's not really like him to keep you in the dark." Harry tickled Jason's tummy while he spoke with Draco. "I spoke with Poppy today." Harry bit his lip, wondering what Draco would say about the thoughts Harry had been having lately.
Draco's hand lifted to play with the hair at the nape of his fiancé's neck, his brows furrowed, "Is everything alright? You're not having any complications are you?"
"Oh no, it's nothing like that. I'm completely healthy, almost ridiculously so." Harry leaned in and gave Draco a quick peck. "Didn't mean to worry you." He grew quiet, thinking about how to word things. "I love being at home with Jason, watching him grow and develop from day to day but I can't do it forever...I would go crazy. You know me Draco; know that I need something to do. I've been thinking about things a lot lately, being alone here with Jason. I...I think I want to become a Healer. A Healer specializing in pediatrics...I know it's three years of hard studying before the trainee period begins. I know it will be a lot of work but it's the only thing I can see myself doing. I'm so tired of dark magic and chasing bad guys...From now on out I want to help people instead. Poppy said she could be my mentor if I wanted her to." Harry looked up at Draco from beneath his bangs. "Do you think I'm kidding myself? Being able to do this with Jason and everything? I'm not doing anything right now though, I still need to be with Jason, want to be with him but maybe later, when he's older?"
Draco cupped Harry's face in his hands, "Love you spent seven years being hounded, hunted, and threatened by the evilest man our world has ever produced with the weight of the world on your shoulders because everyone expected you to be the one to save them and you won. You can do anything you want to Harry so long as you want it enough. I don't just think that or just believe it, I know it. So long as it's what you want I will stand behind you all the way. By the time Jason is older I'll be finished with my apprenticeship and making my own potions here at home so I can look after him while you study."
Harry felt relief rush trough him, relief and gratitude that Draco believed in him, that he was willing to stand by him. "I love you, I love you so much." He leaned in to kiss Draco, still marveling that this brilliant and beautiful man was his.
He pressed his lips against Harry's in a soft, slow kiss putting all that he felt for the other into it before pulling back, brow resting on Harry's, "I'm a lucky man that you gave me the chance to help you, get to know you, and fall in love with you. Luck doesn't quite describe the insane good fortune I have that you love me back."
"Oh Draco, I'm the lucky one." Harry's hand came up to run through soft, blond hair. "So lucky." He smiled against Draco's lips. "But I do think we need to have a talk with your mother and Molly, our wedding is beginning to look more like a circus than a bonding ceremony...And your mother is adamant about us wearing white wedding robes." Harry glanced down at Jason. "A little late for that for me I think."
The two older witches had bonded over planning their wedding but Harry was afraid it was going way overboard. All he wanted was an intimate wedding with only their closest ones present, family and friends. Molly and Narcissa didn't agree.
Draco pinched Harry's arm, "Don't. Say. That. Completely ignoring that white means something different to muggles than it does to wizards, you are more than worthy of wearing white Harry James Potter. You are not any less than you were before the rat pulled his stunt and I refuse to let you think you are."
"Not less perhaps but I am different than I was. I don't regret anything because it gave me Jason and it gave me you but it did change me and I'm not exactly pure." Harry rubbed his arm, Draco did not hold back with that pinch. Harry was a little worried, he couldn't help it. Draco talked big but he still hadn't made any move to take their relationship further. He was completely healed physically now but Draco still hadn't touched him other that a few kisses and hugs. Harry didn't want to pressure him or bring it up but it was there in the background all the time, like a thorn buried in his skin.
Draco cast a modified muffilato so Jason wouldn't hear him but they could still hear the baby, "Bullshite! You have the purest heart and spirit of anyone I know Harry and if having had sex before marriage makes someone impure then bloody well put me, Blaise, and even Pansy in black robes with scarlet lettering on our chests. None of us were slags but it was war and none of us wanted to die virgins either. "
"I don't think any of you are slags of any kind. I know people have sex before marriage...I'm one of them." Harry gave Draco a wide-eyed look, wondering where this temper came from. "I haven't accused anyone of being dirty or easy. I just tried to explain that I don't feel comfortable wearing white." Harry sighed. "Will you watch Jason; I'm going to take a shower."
Draco caught his wrist before he could get up, "Harry my point isn't that I think you think we're dirty or easy, my point is that you are not impure." He lifted his free hand to cup Harry's cheek, "In wizarding terms the white robes mean that the feelings between those being bonded are honest and true. It's a symbol that you and I love each other but symbols can be put aside. If it really makes you uncomfortable we can wear colored robes. My mother and I have a feeling Molly as well, are simply traditionalists."
"Draco I love you but I haven't been pure since the first time I looked into Voldemort's mind when I was eleven. That's a taint that will never wash out. Let the robes be white." Harry pried Draco's hand off him and got up, kissing Draco's forehead before standing up completely. "Now I really need that shower. I'm covered in baby sick." He pressed out a smile and escaped towards their bathroom.
The blond groaned in frustration and got up, carrying Jason on his hip, to floo his mother, "Maman, help."
Narcissa's face appeared in the grate, "Draco? What's wrong darling?"
He gave her a quick rundown on the conversation he'd had with Harry, running a hand over his face, "I don't know what to do. How am I supposed to prove to Harry that he's not tainted, that he's never been tainted?"
Narcissa's brows furrowed, "Oh dear. This is something I don't think I have the answer to, something that...I just don't know. Perhaps you should ask Severus?"
"I can't do that, he's...giddy with happy. I don't want to ruin that." Draco settled into a chair, "I love him so much Maman and it hurts to know he's hurting over this." He nuzzled the baby's hair, "I'm not worthy of him, I was such a horrid little bully and cruel git for so long, it's a miracle I'm where I am now. I'm still not worthy of him, or of Jason but I'm far too selfish to let either of them go to find someone worthy of them."
"What on earth are you talking about? Did you sniff the forbidden potions when Snape's back were turned?" Harry had only made it as far as the bedroom before he felt bad and turned back, wanting to talk things out more. Now he returned to hear Draco spew such utter nonsense. "Every night before I fall asleep and every morning as soon as I wake up I thank the fates that I was so lucky that you fell in love with me...So lucky Draco. You could have anyone you wanted and you chose me, I still have a hard time wrapping my head around that."
Draco turned to look at Harry, his heart in his eyes, "How could I not want you? You, the man who rather than condemn my entire family, helped us instead despite the right you had to consign us to hell. A man who died for his friends, for everyone on that battlefield. You never once sought to get even with me for anything I did, sixth year you tried to find out what I was up to but not because you hated me, but because you wanted to protect everyone. I was awful to you, a 'loathsome foul evil little cockroach' but still by some amazing power you love me. You think I could have anyone I want? Harry you could have everyone in the world at just the crook of a finger. They'd lay themselves prostrate at your feet and beg for the chance to love you. You've such a big; forgiving heart, open to everyone. I'm closed off to all but a few very close friends and family and you. I'm vindictive, violent, and if I perceive a threat I'll use every last ounce of ruthless Slytherin cunning and dark spells to eliminate it. You're so much better than me and you could do so much better. You and Jason are my miracle."
Harry walked over and sunk down to his knees in front of Draco, running his hands through Draco's hair before cupping his face. "Oh Draco, those people you talk about...They don't want me, none of them do. They want the boy who lived, the one who defeated Voldemort." There was a slight bitterness in Harry's voice. "I'm not perfect Draco and I'm certainly not a saint. I'm full of faults and I've made plenty of mistakes. For a while. on top of that Astronomy tower I hated you Draco, hated you for raising your wand against Dumbledore, hated you for fixing that fucking cabinet and letting the Death Eaters in, you allowed people to get hurt, Bill to get maimed and I hated you." Harry rubbed his thumb over Draco's cheekbone. "Then we came to the manor and you didn't tell...You knew it was me but you didn't tell and I looked into your eyes and thought...Oh, he's just like me, Draco Malfoy is afraid too. You are loyal and brave, doing what you have to do. I love everything you are Draco, the good and the bad. You are worthy, the most worthy because you are the only one I want. Please...please just don't put me on a pedestal; it will hurt so much when I fall."
"Silly man," Draco cupped Harry's cheek, "don't you know I'll always catch you? I know you're not perfect, you're amazing but not perfect but you're not and never have been tainted either." He kissed the corner of Harry's mouth. "You're human love; you've seen horrors, lived through them, been slapped down and gotten back up again every time. I love everything you are too Harry, the good and the bad and the 'dear Merlin it's driving me insane' frustrating. You have a beautiful spirit that I hope with all my heart Jason has inherited."
Harry wrapped his arms rightly around Draco, making sure not to squish a sleeping Jason between them. He leaned in so he could whisper in Draco's ear so that no one could hear since the floo was still activated. "Then by Gryffindor's toenails why won't you touch me?"
Draco blinked, smirked, then nuzzled Harry's neck, "Because I don't want to start something I probably won't be able to finish before our son wakes up, calls for food, or a diaper change but don't doubt that I want you Harry," he murmured softly into Harry's ear, "Haven't you noticed how long I take in the shower? I'm not conditioning my hair all that time in there you know love. I'm thinking of you, of what I can't wait to do to you, and touching myself so I can manage to fall asleep without a painful boner."
Harry shivered against him, goose bumps rising on his skin at Draco's words. "Merlin I want you..." He slowly detangled himself and got up off his knees. "Now I really do need that shower." Harry gave Draco a smoldering look. "Don't worry if I take my time." He gave his fiancé a crooked smile and walked out of the room with a new bounce in his steps, he was glad they had talked this through; he didn't want anything between them when they got married.
Draco pursed his lips and watched the way Harry's arse moved as he walked out of the room before smirking in satisfaction. A throat clearing brought his embarrassed attention back to his amused mother in the floo.
"Better now bebe?" Narcissa's blue eyes glimmered with humor.
"Er yes, much. Thank you Maman. Just, would you and Molly consult Harry about the robes, what he wants? And don't turn it into a circus."
"I'll adjust the robes but no promises on the second. You're my only baby and I want your wedding to be feted."
He sighed, "Very well Maman but if Harry gets upset, we're eloping."
"Oh that's just mean. Talk to you again soon bebe."
"Love you Maman, take care." He chuckled as she disappeared and the flames turned from green to orange. He'd been serious about the eloping, if Harry felt it was getting ridiculous they'd keep that as the ace in the hole.
He got up and went to the bedroom, smirking again at the sound of the shower running, and set the sleeping baby on the bed, surrounded by pillows to keep him from rolling off, and set about changing from his potion robes into a comfortable silk t-shirt and simple trousers.
When he finally stepped out of the shower he felt much better. His right hand was nothing compared to the gorgeous man he was engaged to but it had at least taken the edge off. Harry dried off quickly before wrapping a blue, fluffy towel around his waist and walking out into the bedroom, his breath catching when he caught sight of his family...Gods he was so lucky to have them.
Blond brows rose and silver eyes trailed hungrily over the still slightly damp body of his fiancé as Draco looked up from where he was lying on his side watching Jason sleep, "You trying to send me to my own shower early love?"
Honestly Harry hadn't even thought about that but when his eyes snapped up to meet heated mercury ones he had to admit that the idea had merit. A slow smile spread over full lips and Harry reached to scratch lightly at a spot just below his navel, where a thin line of inky black hair disappeared underneath the towel. "Maybe." Was all that Harry said before walking over to a large, ebony dresser, pulling out a drawer and taking out a pair of dark green boxer-briefs. Turning his back on his fiancé, Harry let the towel fall, exposing his naked backside before he slipped the clean underwear on.
A long low breath hissed out of him as Draco's eyes fixed firmly on the rounded cheeks of his fiancé's arse. He cleared his throat but his voice remained a bit huskier than usual, "You're evil love." he could feel his body responding and did his best to think of things that would cool his ardor.
Harry looked at Draco over his shoulder. "But you like it." He had never thought of his body as anything special before but seeing the effect he had on his controlled and composed fiancé...It was empowering. Harry felt truly wanted and it was something he had never felt before. He continued to get dressed in soft, black linen pants and a blue, long sleeved t-shirt before padding over to the bed on bare feet to lie down on the other side of the sleeping baby.
Draco reached across to trace his fingers along Harry's features, "True I do like your wicked streak, even when it's used to drive me crazy."
He closed his eyes and concentrated on the feeling of Draco's fingertips on his face. "We've always driven each other crazy, one way or another since we first met." Green eyes opened again and Harry smiled at Draco.
The corner of the other man's mouth kicked up, "This is true, like metal and flint we strike sparks off each other." One finger trailed down Harry's nose, "Pretty soon I expect we'll catch fire." His tone made it clear he wasn't specking in the negative.
"What a way to burn." Harry replied, still smiling. He moved to lean over Jason to give Draco a kiss but was interrupted by a displeased grumble. He looked down to meet eyes as green as his own. "Awake already Jason, that wasn't a long nap." He brushed his lips over the baby's brow instead, hoping to erase the frown there.
Draco chuckled as the baby made a squeak then yawned, smacking his lips as one little hand waved haphazardly in the air. "This is what I meant earlier." He leaned in to brush a kiss against Harry's cheek, "Do you know I think his hair is getting darker. Not less red, just a darker red than Molly's." He ran his hand over the baby's head gently, smiling at the happy sound Jason made before grabbing one of his fingers and bringing it to his mouth to chew on it.
"Our very own little chastity belt." Harry ran his fingers over a small tummy. "I think you're right about the hair, it's almost redder than Weasley's, not much orange in it. Such a cutie you are." He kissed his son again because he couldn't help himself; Harry was still amazed that this perfect little human was theirs.
Jason squealed at the tickle and gurgled, prompting another chuckle from his Papa. "And he knows it too. He'll take Hogwarts by storm when he goes I think."
"He will, he'll be chased by everyone, boys and girls alike...And he'll have a Mama following his every step until he's at least seventeen. No one's going to hurt my baby." Harry grinned, he was joking...Well mostly. "I spoke to your father of all people the other day; he says we need to get a good tracking spell attached to Jason. I don't really like it but he is right, there are a lot of psycho's out in the world and if someone should manage to get their paws on Jason, and Gods I hope that will never happen, we need a way to find him. Lucius said he had a tracking spell on you until you were sixteen, did you know that?"
Draco nodded, "I knew. Most pureblooded families have tracking spells on their children even if they don't actually care about them because they're their heirs. Maman and Father love me though just like we love Jason. Father used a, technically illegal, darker tracking spell that would injure anyone who tried to harm me since he knew he wouldn't always be able to just Apparate to me right away. For Jason though, since I have no intentions of putting either of us at risk of arrest, I'd suggest hiring the goblins to place a tracking spell on our son. There are no stronger or better tracking spells than a Gringotts tracking spell."
"I do want the very best for Jason but do you think you could talk to the goblins about it? The goblins and I, we still have...Issues from when we broke in. They are not happy with me at all and I can't really look at them the same way after the way they treated that poor dragon. I can't help but wonder if they have more creatures chained up in there somewhere." Harry continued to nuzzle Jason as he spoke. "If I didn't have the vaults I have I really don't think they would allow me inside Gringotts anymore."
"I'll arrange it love," he took Harry's hand and kissed the center of his palm, "What ever happened to that dragon by the way?"
"After the end battle there were reports of the dragon hovering over Oxford for some reason. They wanted to take her out as a feral creature but I managed to get a hold of Charlie. She's living in the reservation now, doing rather well as far as I know. Still scared of loud noises so they have to keep her away from the others but at least she's not in chains and she can see the sky and stretch her wings."
"Poor old girl. There aren't many creatures used to guard vaults these days, mainly because the goblins don't fancy getting eaten, and she was probably the last dragon that was there because of the endangered magical species act, even the goblins have to comply with that. Another reason is that blood recognizing vault doors are more secure, had the Lestrange vault had one of those you'd never have gotten in. The creatures that guard vaults are always provided by the owners if they wish a creature rather than the safer, more secure blood magic doors."
"I don't care who provides the creatures, it shouldn't be allowed at all." Harry said stubbornly with a set jaw. That was one aspect of the wizarding world that he would never understand and never condone. "Despite everything I'm glad the Lestrange's didn't have blood recognizing vault doors, if we hadn't been able to get the cup then I wouldn't have been able to stop Voldemort."
Draco kissed the stubborn look off his fiancé's face, "I'm not saying I agree with it pet. I don't. I'm certainly glad that you were able to get in as well though. It was far past time that cancer got cut out."
"I won't disagree with that." Harry said with feeling, tilting his face towards Draco's kisses. "It's amazing is it not? How the world has changed in less than two years since he disappeared?" Harry had a whole new life, a child and a man he loved more than anything, he couldn't be happier about it.
"Amazing and very welcome," Draco leaned his head against Harry's shoulder, "So many good things are happening. It's a little dizzying. Before Blaise would never have felt comfortable even being in the same room as Ginny, Pans would never have jumped for her walking oak tree, Uncle Severus would still be trapped, and I don't even want to think about where I'd be."
Harry kissed him. "I would like to think that we would have found some way to each other despite everything but I don't know...Voldemort cast a very long shadow. We have one and other now though and that is all that matters."
Draco smiled into the kiss, "Yes, it is. Now, mind if I ask what kind of robes you do want to wear for our wedding love? Or would you rather poke at my mother and Molly over that yourself?"
"No, I don't mind talking to you about it. I don't mind white accents but I don't want all white robes...You'll look like an angel in them and I'll look like some swarthy gutter rat next to you. It will just be so very clear how beneath you I am." Harry smiled as Jason suckled noisily on Draco's fingers. "I wouldn't mind silvery gray robes though, the color of your eyes."
Surprise flittered through Draco's eyes before he smiled and he leaned his brow on Harry's, "You have a talent for surprising me beloved. Would you like to know what the silver means?"
Harry nodded and ran a hand through Draco's silky hair. "Yes please, I only know what kind of colors I like, not what they mean."
"In wedding robes it means eternity 'I will forever feel this way for you', constancy 'I will stand beside you no matter what', and it asks for the blessing of the moon on the bonding." He leaned into Harry's touch, eyes half closed in enjoyment.
"That's perfect then because that's exactly how I feel, how I will always feel." Harry continued to run his fingers through blond hair, lightly scratching the scalp. He had to smile at how much Draco enjoyed the simple touch, like Crookshanks when he was petted and scratched behind his ears.
Draco turned his head so he could kiss the inside of Harry's wrist, "I'll tell Maman. Neither she nor Molly will have the slightest problem with the change. Je suis amour toi plus que la vie."
"Thank you, I don't mean to be difficult about the wedding. I want nothing more than to bond with you, it's just growing so big, makes me panic a bit." He moved closer so he could nuzzle Draco's neck. "As long as I get to become one with you I don't really care what happens."
The blond chuckled, "I told Maman that if she and Molly turn it into a circus I'll take you to the Ministry offices and elope so I'm rather certain she'll control herself with that in mind love."
"Oh thank you, thank you, and thank you." Harry grinned with relief and kissed Draco's neck before sitting up. Jason was growing bored chewing and sucking on his Daddy's fingers and he wasn't afraid to let his parents know of his boredom either. "I think I should go give our son some real food before he works himself up too much." He lifted the frowning baby and held him close. "Rest if you want, I know you've had a busy day."
"Mmm," lazy silver eyes smiled at him, "just so long as you come back and snuggle up with me once our son has had his fill. It's become strange not having you beside me in bed."
"I promise, I'll be back as soon as Jason's stomach is filled." Draco was so adorable, lying on their bed all rumpled, sleepy and smiling. Harry wanted to crawl into next to him right away but a grumble reminded him that he had a hungry son. "See you soon love." Harry padded towards the kitchen, the Black manor already feeling like home in a way nothing had before, not even Hogwarts.
Draco just smiled and drifted off, content with his fiancé's promise to return. He absently set an occlumantic reminder to speak with his mother about the change in robes; if Harry was going to wear silver then he'd wear its traditional companion in gold.
To Be Continued…