A/N: OMG! Read some teasers on AC:Revelations… *squeeee!* BOMBS! 300+! OMGOMGOMGOMG It's on, ALL SORTS OF Donkey Kong! Watch them be kinda boring in the games, but not here, brothers and sisters, 'cause I'm going all sorts of ape-crazy…. Think between you guys and myself, we can come up with that many different types of bombs? No research allowed – just fore-knowledge and our creativity… Bring it on!
My reviewers, you are all awesome! Thabit, Shamazaki, flyingcrispi, anonymous, HikariNoTenshi-San, Assassin's Creed Superfan, Narsha, and calypsosxrx. And all original AC-verse characters belong to ubisoft
Dino Demasi
So, 'at the other end of the fortress' was officially the worst intelligence report ever. Dino felt like going back and stabbing the moron just for being so maddeningly vague.
Although from their enemy's perspective, the guy had done a good job withholding.
It was an interesting thought – the idea that the other side might have an opinion on matters; almost made him wonder how the Assassin Order was conceived from the viewpoint of a Templar.
Almost.
As far as he was concerned every single one of those fuckers deserved the death coming for them.
After some inventive deduction on Ezio's part, they finally located the engineer lab, a lightly guarded but heavily locked building. The locks were nothing to the Master Assassin; the man disarmed them so easily that Dino almost didn't realize the things were even going to be a hindrance.
Good trick, that.
God, but did he have to be good at everything? What a little prick!
No wonder Alessa was infatuated; hell, Dino himself was half in love with the guy.
When he wasn't riding first class on the inferiority caravan.
He and Tullio followed as Ezio walked into the place, bold as day, and started tearing plans off the walls and tossing them into the coals at the small hearth. Dino felt a grin split his face and he geared up for some mindless destruction. He cracked his knuckles before beginning; it was nice to let loose every once in a while.
Dino did manage to shuffle purposefully through the workstations first, pocketing items of interest, giving sheaves of paper a cursory once-over for information of interest before consigning them to the fire.
He noticed some of those fancy magnifying lenses that Alessa used in her work lying on top of some papers. Wordlessly, he rolled the delicate equipment up into some fine vellum and shoved the bundle into a pouch, telling himself it wasn't a peace offering for giving her the drug-induced equivalent of a sucker punch. Because he was sure she had some absolutely delightful revenge planned for him in Napoli. But that was the thing he liked about her; she gave him exactly the reaction he needled out of her. Her brutally honest reactions were paradoxically both refreshing and familiar – and consequently she was the closest brother-in-arms he had ever had.
So yeah, give out a sucker punch; expect a covert kick in the balls in retaliation. That was the way it was between them and he never wanted it to change.
A little present to convince her to soften the coming blow wouldn't hurt, though.
The important work attended to, he dumped one of the workstations over with a gleeful shove. Stepping deliberately on glass inkwells, his boots pulverized the delicate bottles and spilled the colorful liquids all over the place as he cheerfully razed his way over to the next station. For a brief moment, Dino reveled in the chaos before a not-so-subtle clearing of the throat caught his attention.
"Whoops, sorry, maestro," he said, off-handedly dumping the final table onto it's side for good measure.
Dino surveyed the demolished workshop with personal pride as Ezio finished shoving some documents into a satchel. Then the trio ducked out a back door into a narrow alley. Tullio's eyes twinkled briefly at Dino over his dark mask as he jerked his chin toward the pouch Dino had stuffed the lenses into.
"You know she's still going to be pissed at you," the shorter Assassin observed, his voice dry, but his eyes were still bright with amusement.
Dino grinned, more startled than anything, and shrugged.
"It's all about distractions, fratello mio," he drawled sagely. "No matter how pissed at you she is, if you give a woman a shiny object, you can be sure that her wrath will succumb to feminine greed instead."
"Just be careful said shiny object isn't something she can stab you with," Ezio mentioned over his shoulder. A coin flipped suddenly into the air towards him and Dino caught it, confused. One of Ezio's heavy brows arched over an eye in challenge before the Master Assassin turned his attention back forward as they began to jog quietly through the deserted alley.
"I bet that she doesn't get distracted. Women don't forget. Ever."
"Bet taken, amico mio," Dino said, grinning.
Ezio had never been married; he didn't know the first thing about women. Dino was sure of it.
Tullio guffawed and Dino smugly slipped the coin into the pouch with the lenses.
Focusing back on the mission, Dino fidgeted next to an impassive Tullio as Ezio halted and scaled a wall to the fortress's innermost courtyard, gesturing for them to follow a moment later.
Alessa Ricci
She was still dubiously eyeing the food when the door burst open.
A startled curse left her as she leapt away from the table, crouched slightly, hidden blade bristling.
Markku, massively unimpressed by her reflexes, merely made his way to the table after kicking the door shut behind him. She clicked her tongue derisively and lowered her arm, letting her blade snick back into place. She stalked over to him, waving him out of the way as he helped himself to her food. He did eventually shuffle aside after a brief shoving match where he tried and failed to grab some of those absolutely perfect grapes in the exquisitely gold-inlaid bowl. He did manage to snag the carafe of wine and a glass before retreating to settle himself into one of the exquisitely gilded dining chairs across from her.
"I was going to drink that," she grumbled, removing the lid from the food tray.
"Water only," he gestured to a pitcher next to her beaded with condensation. "Dino doesn't want you drinking alcohol right now."
Her breath left her in an irritated huff.
"Dino," she growled, pouring herself a glass, "Is a walking dead man." At least it was cold. And clear. Markku chortled.
"Poor bastard," he agreed casually. "He really just wanted to keep you from being miserable."
"No, he wanted to keep me off the mission," she corrected, dishing herself up a light dinner.
"Bah, they weren't going to take you anyway. Unless you can swim across miles of open sea and climb monster cliffs before even getting to where they needed to go; that takes the big muscles." Markku held his long arms out and flexed. "Even I didn't rate an invitation."
"Do what now?" she asked, cold blossoming throughout her chest. Markku sighed with the affectionate patience of an exhausted parent and poured himself a glass of the wine as he explained the infiltration methods their absent companions had required to gain access to the tank unit.
"Are they okay?" she asked, "Did they make it?"
Markku shrugged.
"You mean you didn't stay to make sure they at least made it to shore?" she half-shrieked.
"Oh stop. You know they're fine," Markku said dismissively. "We couldn't exactly hang around to make sure – not and risk being recognized or attacked by all the damn Borgia naval units hanging around the area."
She pressed a hand to her chest, knowing she was over-reacting, but terrified. She didn't know Tullio too well yet, but she would be devastated if she lost him. And she didn't even want to think about Dino… Or, Jesu Christu, Ezio…
God, she couldn't do it again. She couldn't…
Something hit her square in the forehead and she looked up, startled. Markku was beside her, his hand still up and his middle finger cocked back against his thumb in preparation to flick her again.
"Hey," he said, his voice calm, "Knock it off, they're fine. They're probably already done with the mission. They'll be back here in less than a week if they decide to travel overland. Sooner if they're able to get a ship."
She nodded and convinced herself that it would be true.
They were fine. Finefinefinefinefinefine…
"So, uhhh, Markku?" she quested, as she settled herself, "Where the hell are we?"
He gave her a withering look as he re-seated himself.
"Napoli," he responded, rolling his eyes as he sniffed the wine he had poured himself. He took an almost dainty sip, grimaced, shrugged, and then poured himself a full glass.
"Okay?" Alessa raised an eyebrow and gestured for him to elaborate. Instead, he took a full sip and grimaced some more.
"Lord, that's foul," he said mildly, holding the glass up and eyeing the blood-colored liquid within, "You'd think I'd rate better than a '96 vintage."
"Markku!" she snarled, ignoring the slightly strident edge in her tone, "Where the hell are we?"
"I told you," he said with that tone of profound patience again, "Napoli - we arrived late last night, maybe early this morning."
"Why are we here, though?" Alessa clarified with what she hoped was also a patient tone, gesturing to the opulent room. Markku was, after all, a little socially inept. He gave her a concerned look.
"Does your head still hurt?"
"Wha-?" she blurted, not entirely sure if he was being an ass or not.
"Na – pol – i…" he enunciated. Alessa frowned, gritting her teeth.
"My brother, if you do not tell me right now why the hell we are sitting in this high risk inn, I swear that I'll –" She cut off when he started laughing.
"You think… that we're staying… in an inn?" he wheezed.
"Where else would we be staying?" she asked, feeling somewhat discomfited at his amusement at her expense.
A slow, utterly self-satisfied grin made his eyes gleam. Alessa raised her brows, waiting.
"I, my dear," he said without even a hint of modesty, "Am a genius."
"I'm beginning to think that you're a jackass," she growled.
"A noble and misunderstood animal," he intoned. Alessa huffed and tucked into the light repast before her, waiting for him to elaborate. She hoped he was going to elaborate or she was going to jam her fork in his eye. Markku stood, still carrying that damn glass of wine and occasionally sipping with mild disgust as he slowly paced.
"Ezio had tasked me with getting you to a comfortable place to recuperate before we set up a headquarters for our information-gathering. So how better to do all of that than at the bosom of those we seek to infiltrate?"
Dino Demasi
Dino gained the rooftop to find that Ezio had dispatched all three archers with throwing daggers. The one directly opposite their location was an especially good kill; hard to chuck even a throwing dagger across that kind of distance without losing the force necessary to make a wound. Much less kill the guy.
The courtyard was filled with a squad of Borgia soldiers crowded around an open air cell. Dino couldn't make out who they had contained. Beside him, Tullio grumbled with anger; Dino wasn't sure what would happen to anyone whoever tried to cage the guy again.
"Oh! Let's get them, maestro," Dino whispered, feeling his muscles bunch and fill with heat as he flexed in anticipation. The leather straps of his armor creaked minutely under the strain. Dino gripped the hilt of his sword.
"More are coming in," Ezio whispered back. "Patience. When they get into the courtyard, I'll close the gate and trap them. As soon as I do that, we take them all…"
Dino chuckled menacingly in agreement and Tullio rumbled a furious assent. The masked Assassin was trembling with his rage and Dino shifted away from the unsettled man. The man's unrest was mesmeric and Dino preferred to remain clear-headed. He and Tullio watched Ezio sprint silently over the rooftops to the gate.
Sure enough, a second squad of soldiers passed into the courtyard and Ezio became a blur of action.
It was incredible to watch: the Master Assassin dropped silently to the ground from the roofs, walked nonchalantly to the gate gears, and before any of the soldiers knew he was there, he had kicked the mechanism that controlled the gate. The powerful blow simultaneously snapped the wooden handle off the gear mechanism and released the gate to slam shut. No one was getting out through that gate for a while.
Dino and Tullio were in flight an instant later, each man landing on a bewildered soldier to dispatch him quickly with their hidden blades. The delicate tool retracted into grey-sleeved wrists as they each pulled sword and regular dagger. Tullio was a silent, black-masked whirl of menace and Dino deliberately moved away from him, drawing out a couple of sword and axe-men with his taunts.
The first soldier attacked and Dino side-stepped efficiently. He punched the guy just under the chin and as the head was flung up, he jammed his dagger under the exposed chin. Dino moved the bulk of his body in a swift arc, leading the man by the dagger hooked into the fragile flesh, and flung the man to the ground. The body tripped one of it's companions and blood from Dino's dagger's blade made a crescent of red spatter across the new attacker's leather chest armor. Dino grabbed the stumbling man at the base of his neck and rammed his face into the nearby wall once, twice, and a third time. The body slid to the ground, leaving an ugly smear behind.
His attackers had scattered at his brutal attacks and were now warily surrounding him. Dino kept his back to the wall and feinted, but none took the bait.
As he waited for his group of Borgia soldiers to find their balls again, he caught a glimpse of Ezio nearby. Ezio was a study in efficient motion. The Master Assassin was aggressing on a spearman and in a sudden, startlingly quick movement, he took a step forward, planting his forward leg solidly and stabbing both hidden blades through the spearman's face.
Ezio jerked his arms straight down and back and in a continuation of the same movement, he stepped backward with his front leg, grabbing the spear out of the dead man's lax hand as the body fell.
He fell into a sideways low stance to stab an incoming attacker through chest with the spear. Continuing in his momentum, Ezio shifted to face the hapless man and with a powerful hitch of his shoulders, jerked impaled man towards him. As he came upright from his stance, he actually lifted the hapless solider a bit before hefting him away. By some sheer luck, the point of the spear caught and held in a crack in the stones. The speared man wriggled helplessly as he slid grotesquely down the upright shaft.
"That's fucking weird," Dino muttered to himself. To console himself, he taunted one of his own attackers into actually doing something and swiftly dispatched the idiot with a clean blow of his sword.
Ezio's attackers, in the meantime, were watching warily as Ezio pulled his sword in time to block the incoming swing of a heavily armored axeman. Ezio snapped a front kick out into the man's gut, folding the guy in half with the powerful blow. Then Ezio pressed his left fist to the back of the man's skull.
Two things happened and Dino was hard-pressed to figure out the exact sequence of events: a quick loud, shot rang out and then the soldier was rammed face first into the ground from the force of the bullet's passage, his head leaking all sorts of disgusting.
It was apparent that Ezio's little hidden pistol worked damn well at close range.
Dino got distracted for a bit when his remaining opponents decided to swarm him all at once. He was hard pressed to parry all the incoming blows. He snapped a heavy kick to the side of one man's knee, shattering the joint so that the guy screamed and went down. Dino kicked him in the head for good measure – didn't want to get stabbed in the foot if the guy decided to stop caterwauling and start aggressing again.
His final attacker spun on his heel and ran like hell as Dino started toward him. Dino's fighting dagger wasn't ideal for throwing, but he did it anyway. The heavy blade buried itself into the fleeing man's back. The guy staggered but didn't drop. It did however, slow him down enough for Dino to bring his sword down into his skull from behind. He knelt to retrieve his dagger and assess the battle.
Tullio was a fucking nightmare from hell as he stalked his remaining two opponents. As Dino watched, the stocky assassin shifted his grip on his dagger to a solid under-hand, stabbing a soldier twice in succession, just under the sternum. Tullio used the body as a fulcrum to spin and slash horizontally across the gut of an incoming attacker, and then darted behind to sever the tendons at one knee. The soldier went down with an ugly blurt of pained denial. Tullio continued through his swing, spinning and bringing his dagger down to slash diagonally across the back of the dying man's neck for good measure.
The man's customary black mask was down and his teeth were bared in a feral snarl. The multitude of scars criss-crossing his face stood out starkly in his strained expression. Blue eyes no longer sparkled with mirth, nor were they their normal grey of impassivity. They were pale, washed out, almost like the sickly periwinkle of the drabbest of winter skies. And they burned with an unfathomable frosty hatred.
"Deep waters don't run still, do they?" Dino murmured, not wanting to startle Tullio as the man struggled to control himself.
Not even five minutes, three men against two full squads.
Oo-rah Assassins…
"Get that out of the way," Ezio barked imperiously, indicating a body blocking the cell door.
"Nessun problema, maestro," Dino said cheerfully, picking the fucker up by his belt and tossing him aside.
"Back up, gentlemen," Ezio said to the two mercenaries crowding the door. Ezio took aim with his hidden pistol and shattered the lock with a single shot. He assaulted them with questions about the location of the tank, information they were eager to give him. One of the mercenaries glanced back into the cage.
Dino could see a downed man in the back corner.
Cazzo!
Ezio eyed the injured prisoner, his recruits, and the two mercenaries. Finally he indicated Tullio and one mercenary to accompany through the hidden passage to secure the tank. Dino would administer to the wounded man with the remaining mercenary and follow once the injured man was able to be moved.
Sighing, hoping he wasn't going to miss all of the action, Dino unslung his medical satchel and began to work.
A/N: Sooooooo, I have never actually gotten truly pissed off at one of my characters – EVER. But Markku? Yeah, I was getting pissed off at him whilst writing that little back-and-forth about their location. Heee! Too fun! Thing is, I can't tell if he was being deliberate or not…
Also, bonus for you, as of 5/15/11, I went back to chapter six and extended the "Herr Mannelig" scene. The additional verses are not in the Italian-sung version by Haggard, but are in the original Swedish ballad. You should youtube the Haggard song and listen; I tried to fit the timbre of the music to the mood of the scene…