Ch. 25

The next morning, Mike was pleasantly surprised to find Dante and Rocco on Sonny's front doorstep. With a huge grin, he motioned for them both to enter the parlor. "Wow," he laughingly observed, "You said you would come, and here you are, both of you." "I hope it's ok that we came, Mike. I should have called you first but I thought I'd come out here before I have to take Rocco back to Lulu. She's staying out at Wyndemere, so it's kind of inconvenient to get back and forth," explained Dante. "It's not a problem—I'm glad to see you. I've been trying to arrange a time to connect with Spencer, too. I'm not sure about riding on the launch but I definitely need to see him before I leave here. So far I haven't been able to reach Nikolas, though." Gesturing toward the stairs, Mike added, "Let's go up to the playroom. Avery's there, and she and Rocco can play together while we talk." After Dante settled Rocco in Avery's playpen with a couple of his favorite toys, he and Mike stood there watching the two babies in amusement. Finally, Mike remarked in amazement, "Not only do I have a great-grandson, but a new granddaughter, as well! One thing I'll say for your father—he doesn't show any signs of letting up in the baby-making department!" "Think about how I feel! I've got a sister and a brother not too much younger than my own son! Let that sink in for a minute!" Mike looked at Dante in puzzlement before asking, "I thought Michael told me a while back that Olivia's son passed away? I'm guessing there's more to the story?" In mortification Dante closed his eyes and shook his head. "I'm begging you to forget I said that, Mike. My little brother is alive but for now, only a few people know that. My mother is trying to decide whether or not to tell his father that she lied to everyone. It's a mess, but I want to respect her request for secrecy."

"No sweat—I won't breathe a word."

"Thanks. Sonny is one of the few who knows, by the way, but no one else in the family does."

"That's a pretty heavy secret to carry, Dante. I hope she knows what she's doing."

"She doesn't, but that's never stopped her before." Mike turned to Dante and held his gaze for a moment and then he questioned, "So, how are you really?"

"What do you mean?"

"I know it's been a long time since we saw each other last but you've had some pretty big changes in your life lately. How's fatherhood, for example?"

"It's good. Lulu and I had a bumpy road getting to Rocco. Did Sonny tell you about the whole custody thing with Maxie?"

"He mentioned it but he didn't go in depth. He just said it looked like you were going to lose your little girl. That must have been tough."

"Yeah, it was. Letting her go, saying 'goodbye', the court battle, Lulu leaving me because I couldn't lie in court…" He sighed as he remembered how difficult those days had been and then he brightened again, thinking of Rocco. "We didn't think we could have children of our own in the first place, that's how we got into the surrogacy thing with Maxie. Then we found out that Rocco was our son. That was insanity! The woman who carried him, her reasons why, that whole mess was just out there. But we got our Rocco out of it. And I love being his dad. I actually think I'm good at it. At least, I used to think that…"

"I'll admit I haven't seen a lot of you with him so far, but he seems happy and cared for well enough. I'd say you've got the fatherhood thing down pat. Where's the uncertainty coming from?" They looked around the room for chairs; Mike chose the rocking chair leaving Dante to choose the daybed in the corner. Once they had settled comfortably, Dante continued, "I feel like I'm letting him down. I wanted him to have two parents at home. I feel like I've failed, somehow."

"Look, let me tell you about failure. Failure is getting so hooked on gambling and boozing that you end up abandoning your wife and young son. That's failure. You don't plan on abandoning Rocco, do you?"

"No, of course not! But-"

"But nothing! That's all any kid needs, Dante, a presence. Someone who's solid and around. He'll never wonder who his father is or where he is. Or why he left. That's everything, son. Don't sell it short."

"You sound like Val."

"Hmm, yes, Val."

"You don't approve?"

"I've seen you two together and I like her, so that's not the issue. I'm remembering how in love you and Lulu were, though. Like I said, you've been through a lot of changes lately. Are you sure you two are over?"

"You know, Mike, when I first saw Lulu, I fell for her like a ton of bricks. I knew I had to get to know her. Once I got to know her, I knew I had to make her mine. That took some convincing. We'd had some drama come up along the way, some hurdles we had to clear but after we got married, I thought we were home free. I'm not sure what made me think we'd conquered all we would have to. Probably because we seemed so in sync most of the time. There were little things along the way, though, things I guess we had both buried. So when it came down to this one situation, everything we'd been able to bury came bubbling up to the surface, I guess. She lied to me, chose her father over me. I thought of all the times I'd gone on 'adventures' with her, pulling her butt out of the flames yet she chose not to trust me with this one because her father told her not to. I thought of all the times she left me for lying to her or keeping secrets from her for other people. It just stacked up in my mind and in my heart and put a block there that I can't get rid of."

"You know your own heart best and you know what you can and can't tolerate. Things happen that spiral and lead to bigger things sometimes. It's a test, Dante. To see if you can go the distance or if you have to concede. Maybe as much as you wanted to, you weren't meant to go the distance. You're young yet, you and Lulu. The things you can't put up with now you'll find won't be so bothersome when you get a bit more age on you. You can't fake how you feel,though. Well, you can, but it doesn't make for a good or healthy relationship. Sometimes it's good to let go before too much damage is done."

"How much more damage could there be than me sleeping with her cousin? I'm pretty sure the maximum damage is done already."

"Live a little longer. You'll be surprised what you can tolerate and what you can forgive."

"So what are you saying? That I should stay with Lulu, and try to make it work anyway?"

"No, I'm not saying that at all, especially if your mind and heart are saying that you need to let go. I think I'm saying time softens the way we look at things, that's all. Hindsight can be a butt kicker sometimes. I just hope you don't regret letting go of your marriage on top of the other regrets you have but you're the one who has to live with yourself. If you think it's done, it's done."

"I think we're both too resentful and angry with each other to go on. She doesn't even want to see me if she doesn't have to, and if I'm being honest, if it wasn't for Rocco, I'd be thinking the same way. All I feel when I see her is anger at this whole thing. Well, I go back and forth between anger and just wanting it over with. It's weird."

"And where does Valerie fit into all this?"

"Where does she fit? I'm not sure. We're figuring that out. I like being with her—it's comfortable. She's been through a lot which makes me want to protect her. She's strong, though, so it's not like she really needs protecting… It's just a feeling I have. I want to make her life better. When she's not there, I'm looking for her, and when she is there, I feel settled, like everything's ok. From the beginning I found her attractive but she was my wife's cousin, so I saw her as family. Even knowing that, though, there was a draw there, a pull of some kind. After everything blew up, she's been a real source of strength and comfort for me. And now I'm at the point where I can't imagine her not being there."

"Sounds like you're in love to me."

Dante shook his emphatically, asserting, "I don't think it's love, Mike, not yet. I don't know what it is. I don't think I have the right to love her yet, not until Lulu and I are settled. Maybe that's why I'm holding back a bit—because I don't have the right to love her yet." He thought for a moment and then smiling, he added, "But later on, I can definitely see it happening. She's easy to love."

Mike laughed inwardly at Dante's admission but he chose not to call his attention to what he had just said. "Poor kid," he thought, "he's got it bad and he doesn't even know it yet."

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They talked together into the afternoon. In between feeding the babies, they talked about New Mexico, Sonny's and Carly's upcoming marriage, Dante's partner being in the hospital and all the changes that had taken place in Port Charles since Mike had last been there, among other things. It was going toward the early evening when Dante reluctantly took his leave of his grandfather to get Rocco home. It had been good, he thought as he and Rocco rode the launch toward Spoon Island, to spend so much time with Mike. He'd missed him, he realized. He would have to make a better effort to keep in touch with him in the future…

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While Dante had spent his morning with his grandfather, Valerie, after running an important errand at a local locksmith's shop, spent her morning cleaning the penthouse. She knew if Sonny had his way, he probably would have sent someone over to cook and clean for her but she didn't want to get too spoiled. She would accept the offering of the penthouse but she drew the line at butlers and maids. She planned to stay grounded regardless of the opulence surrounding her. She was in the middle of dusting the living area when the doorbell sounded. Not expecting any visitors, she curiously opened the door. Two delivery men stood outside, both coming to attention when she wondered, "Can I help you guys?"

"Yeah. We're from Simon's Baby and Teen. We got a delivery for this address-"

"I think you've made a mistake," she interrupted them to say further, "I didn't order anything-"

"No, Mr. Sonny Corinthos ordered it. He said he wanted it delivered to this address, and he'd pay us extra to set it up. Can we come in?" Opening the door wider she answered, "Sure, I guess, since Sonny sent you. What exactly is it?" One of the delivery guys handed her his clipboard as he and his helper began dragging furniture into the house. Val looked at the delivery items with a growing sense of dismay.

The main spokesman of the twosome asked, "Which room is the extra one?"

"The extra one?"

"Yeah. He said there was a master bedroom, a guest room, and an extra one. Could you show us to the extra room, please?" Leading them up the stairs she showed them to the room to which she thought Sonny might have been referring. "Thanks, Ma'am," they intoned, and then they got to work, bringing furniture from the truck to the penthouse and into the "extra room." When they finally finished the delivery, they all stood back and admired the results. "Everything ok the way it is, or do you want us to change some stuff around?"

"No, you can leave everything the way it is. You've really done a wonderful job—it looks great. I'm still not sure why he had this sent here, but it is his house, so—thanks, I guess." She was patting her pockets and searching around before realizing, "My purse—it's in the other room, so if you'll hold on-"

"Mr. Corinthos took care of all that, Ma'am, including signing for it. All we had to do was deliver it and set it up. Since that's everything, we'll get out of your hair."

"Well, thanks for this, I suppose." she replied haltingly.

"You're welcome." She walked them to the door and with a final wave, they got on the elevator. She closed the door and leaned against it with a frown. What the heck?

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This time when the doorbell rang, she was almost afraid to answer it. Slowly opening the door she saw Dante standing there with a smile on his face, a smile that turned to bewilderment when she tried to see around him, peeking to his left and then to his right. "Are you looking for something in particular?" he inquired.

"No," she responded, "I guess not." When she didn't move, he added, "Can I come in, or-"

Flustered, she laughed in embarrassment. "Sorry! Of course, come in. I—was—expecting—I don't know what I was expecting. Or rather, I do, I think."

"You're not making any sense, you know. What's the matter?" Not knowing how to answer, she grabbed him by the hand and began leading him up the staircase. "You'll have to see it for yourself," she finally told him.

She opened the door to the "extra room" with a flourish and the frown on his face matched the one she'd had earlier. She began to clarify, "This arrived this afternoon-"

"What is this?" he interrupted, going on, "Why did you do this? Who told you to do this?"

"What do you mean?"

He gazed around the room at the baby crib and all the accompanying furnishings, shaking his head. "Rocco already has this stuff at Wyndemere, and at the loft. Why on earth would you set this up here?" At first, she had been about to explain how the delivery came to be there but after his initial reaction, she made a different decision. "What's wrong with this being here, Dante?"

"I'm not even sure Rocco would get any use out of it! We talked about how when he's with me he should be in familiar surroundings! Right now, that pretty much means the loft. I can't believe you did all this without talking it over with me first!"

Coolly she retorted, "Actually, you jumped in without letting me finish what I'd been going to say. In case you've forgotten, I'm only a tenant here—I don't have the right to go changing anything in Sonny's house, as far as I'm concerned. Sonny had this sent here and he paid for it to be set up. Now I suppose I could have called him and demanded to know why he'd had all this sent here but since this is his house, I didn't think that would be right. But by all means, you call him and get on his case about it. It's good to know, though, that if I had been the one to buy all this, this would have been your reaction."

"Hang on a minute-"

"For what? Obviously, I would have been in the wrong for wanting Rocco to be comfortable if he ever came here. What'd you think, huh? That I'd overstepped some boundary? That's what you thought I did, isn't it? Wow. So Rocco's off limits, is that it?"

"Wait a minute, hang on-"

"I'm just reacting to your overreaction, Dante! I'm trying to figure out where you're coming from! If I had done this, what exactly would I have done that was so wrong?"

"Nothin', Valerie. Ok, so I totally got my wires crossed, and I'm sorry-"

"You got your wires crossed? Are you sure? Because that's not the impression I got at all. You thought I did this, that I bought all this, and somehow, that didn't make you think 'Wow, how nice' or 'Whoa, this must have been expensive' or even 'hey, did you do all this?'—no, it was more like 'how dare you?', like I did something I didn't have the right to do!"

"Ok, wait. Let's dial it back a bit-"

"Yeah, that's a good idea, Dante. Maybe we should dial it back a bit! You know something? I told Carly last night that we hadn't exactly said what we were to each other and I mostly said that to deter her but we really haven't, have we? And I've been ok with that because I just wanted to be with you, but maybe I shouldn't have been. Maybe I should have pushed for clarity between us, because if you can react like this-"

"I made a mistake, Val. I jumped to conclusions and I shouldn't have-"

"Maybe you should have, though, if that's the way you feel! 'Come so far and no further, Val,' is that it? Tell me what we're doing here, Dante. Because I thought, mistakenly obviously, that we were closer to each other than this. What are you afraid of? Why did you react like that? What did you think I was trying to do, take Rocco over?"

"No, well, not exactly-"

"So that's it! You're afraid that I'm trying to become Rocco's mother, and your wife? Like I'm setting up house to trap you into something? Like I couldn't have trapped you the old-fashioned way if that's what I was after!"

Dante held up his hand to stop her tirade. "Wait a minute, please, ok? I was wrong, I'm admittin' that. I shouldn't have reacted that way. I'm not even sure why I did! Even if you had ordered the furniture, it woulda been a nice gesture and I know you would've only done it to make things better for Rocco. It's just-"

"Just what, Dante? What are we doing with each other-you still haven't answered me! I mean, I thought we were building something together but if all I am is your rebound, your interim person, the one you use to get over the last one before moving on to someone else once your wounds are all healed, I'm worth more than that-"

"Whoa, stop. Stop right there. That's not who you are, not even close. We are buildin' somethin'-"

"Are you sure? Maybe it's just about the sex-"

"Well it can't be about the sex because I haven't gotten any and I'm still here! I'm tellin' you I made a mistake, ok? I'm sorry. It has nothin' to do with thinkin' you're some kind of rebound, or thinkin' you're tryin' to trap me! I just thought you were askin' for somethin' I can't give right now. I want us, Val, but we've gotta get there! And we will, but it's gonna take time. I guess maybe I thought you were jumpin' the gun a little when we'd agreed to take things slow. I was wrong, I see that. Forgive me, please?"

She regarded him with a slightly sad expression on her face as she confessed, "I did something today, something I thought was a good thing, but now, in light of all this, I feel stupid, like I made a mistake. I can forgive you, that's not the issue. I just wish-"

"What did you do?" She shook her head and sighed before replying, "I don't know. I should probably think about it again. Maybe it was a good thing all this happened…" He pulled her into his arms and hugged her, saying, "I'd give anything to start this over. I'd very much like a redo. I'm sorry, Angel, I really am. I put that hurt look on your face and I'd give anything to erase it. Tell me what you did. I won't overreact, I promise. And the rest of it, we'll just figure out together, all right? It's ok. You can tell me." With another exhalation, she murmured, "It'd be easier if I showed you." Pulling away from him she reached into her pocket and pulled out the key she'd had made earlier in the day at the locksmith's shop. Going on, she revealed, "I missed you so much last night. I thought, I don't know, if you had your own key, you could come whenever you wanted to, whether I was here or not. If you wanted to have a soak in the spa tub, or watch the game on the big screen or if you just wanted a haven away from the loft. I wanted you to have this key, but I don't want you to feel or think I'm trying to trap you into something. I'm still all for taking things slow, too, I only thought—I wanted…" She turned away from him as she sighed again. Dante laughed in relief. It was going to be ok, after all, he thought. He coaxed her back into his arms and gently kissed her. Rocking her slightly, he whispered, "Thank you for the key. I know what you intended by offering it, and I'll accept it the same way. It's a very kind, thoughtful gift, Val. I love it." And I love you for thinking of it, he realized secretly, shocking himself.

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