AN: I didn't really like this one. I dunno, I guess I just didn't try hard enough.
***
Title: Democracy
Characters: Nami and Usopp, and bits of Zoro and Chopper
Rating: K+
Summary: Usopp tries to rebel, but with little success.
A/N: Nami is like the Queen/Empress/Pimp/whatever of the ship. Someone beside Robin's gotta stand up to her at some point, right?
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The way Usopp saw it, their little ragtag crew of nine was run by a dictatorship.
Nami was the dictator. Obviously.
Even though she wasn't the captain, she was the one who ordered everyone about and beat them over their heads when they didn't respond fast enough. Usopp sometimes envied Robin. He wondered what it was like to eternally be in Nami's good terms.
"ZORO! GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS AND DO THE LAUNDRY!"
"MAKE ME, WOMAN!"
Usopp winced and looked away as Zoro, the Pirate Hunter with a bounty of over 100 million and the man who was stronger than a rhino, was beaten to submission by a slender girl who didn't even possess any superhuman strength.
But sometimes the dictator decided to be nice. Sort of.
"Chopper, you're so cute when you're pissed off!"
"Shut up! Shut up, bitch! I'm not happy at all that you think that! Asshole!"
Usopp didn't really understand Chopper's logic sometimes. After a nasty incident involving Nami, Luffy, a giant squid, and a barrel of molasses, Usopp decided something had to be done about Nami's tyranny over the Strawhat Pirates. He ducked into his workshop and began scribbling away on a blank sheet of paper. The next morning, he presented his plans to her.
"What's this?" Nami squinted at the paper.
"It's the plans for a democratic government system!" Usopp pointed out the thick paragraphs of writing he had labored over so painstakingly. He had stayed up all night reading Robin's books on government systems, too.
"And why are you showing me this?" Nami narrowed her eyes in suspicion. Usopp inhaled and set his jaw.
"I think it's time everyone on this crew is freed from your tyranny of bankruptcy, Nami!" Usopp quickly said.
"Robin and Sanji-kun don't seem to mind my debts." Nami smirked.
"Because Robin doesn't even have debts and Sanji is too busy fawning over you!" Usopp said in exasperation. "If we follow these democratic guidelines, our crew can live in peace and harmony with no interest or fees! Or head wounds!"
"Nice try, Usopp. We're not a country. We're a pirate crew." Nami bluntly pointed out. She handed the paper back to him.
"...Oh. Right." Usopp hung his head and walked away.
Why, oh why, did Nami have to point out the technicalities?
***
AN: If Nami uses the punches she uses on the boys, she would be invincible in battle. Or she could just use her Happiness Punch.
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