Chapter Twenty-Five
Daryl eased himself from his hospital bed, inwardly cursing a blue streak, and tucked the blanket around Carol's shoulder, relieved he hadn't woken her. He just couldn't lie abed any longer. His ass was asleep, pins and needles stabbing at him now he'd gained an upright position. He wasn't used to being inactive, especially for such a long period of time. Being sick with a cold or the flu was bad enough, but this was ten times worse. He took an unsteady step, using the footrest of the bed to help maintain his balance. If he held onto something with his good arm, he should be able to at least manage the short walk down to the nurse's station and back … hopefully, before Carol woke.
He'd convinced Tara earlier to only give him a half dose of his pain meds, and his head was somewhat clearer than it had been for the past two days. He needed to be focused when they put Carol's plan into play to 'attend' school. Daryl smiled, once again marveling over the cleverness of his girl. He froze halfway between the nurse's station and the door to his room, lifting his gaze to meet William's stern countenance. Busted!
"Is there a reason you're out of bed, son?" his father asked as he walked down the hall to meet him.
Daryl grinned sheepishly and shrugged as William's supporting arm slipped around his waist. "I cain't stand t' be in th' bed all th' time, Dad. An' I was kinda thirsty," he admitted.
"You have a call button, Daryl. If you need something, the nurses will get it for you. And do I need to remind you of your recent surgery? You need to allow yourself time to heal," William admonished gently, leading him towards the hive of activity in the center of the hall. "You're very lucky it was I who caught you instead of your mother."
The boy chuffed a laugh. "Nah … Mom's not supposed t' be here 'til breakfast. She's bringing m' favorite cinnamon roll oatmeal."
William shook his head, all too familiar with Francine's penchant for spoiling the children with their favorite foods. He slipped behind the desk, nodding to the nurses, and dug through the refrigerator where the juice and cold snacks were kept. He pulled one box of each … pineapple, orange, cranberry and grape … which should tide Daryl over until breakfast where he could have a cup of coffee and some chocolate milk. His boy grinned and shoved them into the pockets of his robe. William resumed his position of support at Daryl's side to walk him back to his room, taking note of the frown now marring his brow.
"Something on your mind, son? You know you can ask me anything … so long as it's not a request to go home. You need to stay at least a few more days. I want to make sure there are no complications."
Daryl heaved out a great sigh of frustration, thankful he'd always been able to talk to Carol's dad. "I was … uhm … wondering if maybe you'd look over the papers I found in my mama's hope chest with th' attorney. The life insurance policy?" he asked. "Thing is … I don't know when I'ma be able t' meet with him – stuck in here as I am – an' Carol says you're friends with Mr. Harrison, an' could maybe get th' ball rollin' for when I'm released."
William smiled at his son, pleased Daryl trusted him enough to handle this for him. "I suppose I could see if Donald was free for lunch."
Daryl winced, feeling some of his earlier strength flagging. He leaned a little heavier into William's side, but he didn't flinch away from his touch. The level of love and trust he held for the man wouldn't allow for it. "Thanks, Dad. There's jus' so much I wanna do with that money … helping Merle out with th' garage – if he'll let me – putting some away for college, an' I wanna do somethin' special for my girl."
Hearing a small shriek coming from Daryl's room, William chuckled. "Speaking of your girl, I think she just woke up and noticed you'd gone."
"Aww, hell," Daryl groaned.
Carol came barreling out of the room at a brisk trot only to come up short upon seeing Daryl with her father. "Daryl! I woke up and you weren't there! Why are you out here? Daddy, what's going on?!"
"Sweetheart, calm down," William soothed, reaching out to draw his daughter against his left side. "Daryl just wanted to stretch his legs a bit."
Daryl ducked his head when he saw the worry in her gaze, peering up at her through his fringe of bangs. "Sorry, Angel. Didn't mean t' worry y' none."
Carol slipped between her father and Daryl and helped to guide him back to his room. "I suppose you thought you'd be back before I woke up, hm? It's alright," she murmured at his slight nod. "I just panicked a little to find you gone. I guess I'll have to keep a closer eye on you." A very close eye, she thought, mustering a smile for him. She wondered if she would always feel anxiety when he was away from her side after the events of the past weekend. She'd come too close to losing him.
*.*.*
"How're y' feelin'? What'd Doc Nolan have t' say this mornin'?" Merle asked, the phone balanced in the crook of his shoulder as he rummaged through his closet, a frown of consternation marring his still smooth brow. Daryl had done a great job of setting up Merle's room at the cabin, but where the hell had all those clothes come from lining the racks and shelves? Judging from the fine quality of fabrics, he suspected the Mason women had had a hand in it.
"I'm a'right, I guess," Daryl mumbled around a mouthful of oatmeal. "Doc said everythin's lookin' good so far, but he wants t' keep me a couple more days jus' t' be sure. Might get t' come home Wednesday." He paused long enough for Carol to spoon another bite past his lips. "What y' doin' today? Y' comin' by here?"
Merle eyed a pair of black slacks to go with the maroon button up he held by the hanger. "Gotta meet with Jim in 'bout an hour or so, an' I'm meetin' Donald Harrison at eleven. I should be able t' swing by there t' visit with y' between appointments."
"Still cain't believe it's finally happenin' for y'," Daryl said, and Merle could hear the note of happiness in his brother's voice. "Y' deserve it, Merle."
No one deserved happiness more than his baby brother, but Merle wasn't going to argue the point with him over the phone. "'S there anythin' y' need ol' Merle t' bring y'? Clothes, snacks, books for yer nerdy ass?"
Daryl snorted. "Nah, I'm good. Mom's been bringin' me stuff I need. Jus' wanted t' check in with y' before me an' Carol had t' start class." He'd already filled his brother in on Carol's plans to attend class 'electronically'.
"A'right, boy, y' let me know if y' need anythin' an' I'll see y' later this mornin'."
"Merle?" Daryl asked quickly before his brother could disconnect the call. "Y' gonna try t' see Andrea after your meetin' with her father?"
The eldest Dixon flushed hotly as he heard the teasing note in Daryl's voice and the throaty chuckle Carol let out in the background. "Bye, asshole!"
Merle rolled his eyes and tossed his phone on the bed. It was a crappy flip phone, one he planned to replace after his meeting with Jim. There were several things he wanted to look into now that he was back for good. He quickly dressed, pulling on a black leather vest over his dress shirt. He stared pensively at his reflection, hardly recognizing himself in such nice clothes after spending so many years wearing his military uniform. They were necessary, however. He wanted to make a good impression.
So much was riding on his purchase of the garage and making it successful. He could understand Jim wanting to sell, wanting to retire. The man had barely been making a go of his business since the other garage had opened in town, and wanted to cut his losses, but Merle had a plan to bring it back, offering mechanic services, but also building and repairing motorcycles. It was a passion of his, had been since he'd been a teenager, and he was hoping to make a name for himself. He needed to put all his focus into the venture, but he couldn't help but let his mind wander to Andrea Harrison.
He reached for the faded leather wallet on his dresser and withdrew a worn photo from its recesses. It was of his girl, his Andrea, the date written on the back nearly obliterated due to the times he'd taken it out to gaze at her likeness over the last three years. On his last leave home due to medical issues, they'd gone to the fair a few counties over. This picture was one of five they'd taken in a cheap photo booth, but the only one he'd kept. He wondered if she still had the other four. This one was special, his girl in profile as she stared up at him, their eyes locked. There was such a look of love, pure and abiding, which still took his breath away.
Merle Dixon was not a man who had ever felt comfortable with 'feelings', but even he couldn't deny he loved Andrea to the very core of his being. He hadn't had the best role model for relationships from his parents, but he'd witnessed the love Carol's parents held for one another, and he longed for it himself. Not that he would admit it. It had broken his heart when he'd had to resume what was left of his tour, leaving her behind again to serve his country. And this time, she hadn't wanted to wait, afraid their luck would run out and he wouldn't return to her at all. The letters, emails and rare calls had stopped completely, leaving him bereft without her love and support. He hadn't even tried to move on, unable to banish her from his heart and mind.
Now that he was back for good, he wanted nothing more than to claim her once again, to start the life he'd promised her when they were still in high school. But would she want to take a chance on him again? Did she still love him? The questions swirled in his mind, causing him to break out in a cold sweat fueled by doubt and the belief that she could do so much better. How could he expect her to love a murderer? The men he'd killed on the front lines were bad enough, but surely, she would turn away from him in fear and disgust if she found out he'd murdered his own father. And he knew he wouldn't be able to start a life with her with secrets between them.
He slipped his wallet into his back pocket and reached for the keys to Daryl's truck. Being at her father's law firm where she was partnered was the perfect opportunity to slip beneath her radar and see her. She'd have no choice but to face him there at her workplace, unable to leave. What would it hurt to say hello? He scowled at his reflection once more before heading for the front door … only m' heart.
*.*.*
Merle shook Donald Harrison's hand as he rose from his seat across the desk from the attorney. He was the proud new owner of 'Dixon Brothers Auto Mechanics and Bike Shop'. Or at least he would be when the paperwork had been finalized and he could take possession of the premises the following Monday. Jim had made one of his sons available to show Caesar and Oscar around while he'd gone over the sale stipulations with Merle to the satisfaction of both men. His friends had stayed to acquaint themselves with the new place and go over some of the plans the three of them had made.
The new owner had made a run to the bank for the cashier's check he'd be handing over to Donald Harrison when he began the paperwork. He'd been pleased as punch - or as happy as Merle could ever remember feeling - as he'd made his way to the hospital to visit with his brother. Daryl had been excited to see Merle's dreams finally become a reality. He'd left there with time to spare before his next appointment.
Now with everything squared away, he found himself standing outside Andrea's office, her secretary staring at him with her wide-eyed gaze. "Mr. Dixon, how can I help you today?"
Merle shot her a charming smile, fiddling with the pair of sunglasses he held in his hand. "I, uhm … I'd like t' see Ms. Harrison, if she's not too busy." His heart was pounding a fierce tempo against his ribs, but he knew he'd never be able to live with himself if he didn't at least try to see her again. Not to mention, he'd never hear the end of it from Daryl and Carol. Meddlesome little brats!
The little brunette checked over Andrea's appointment calendar briefly and nodded. "She stepped out for a few moments, but if you wouldn't mind waiting, she has some time before her next appointment."
"Thank you kindly, darlin'," he said, his smile widening despite his nerves.
She showed him into Andrea's office and brought in a fresh pot of coffee, arranging it on the low table in a small sitting area and pouring him a cup before exiting. Merle sat down with the delicate china cup – holding it tentatively as if he were afraid to break it - only to hop right back up, unable to sit still as he waited. He gazed around the room with it's light colored wood furniture, simple, comfortable pieces spread out and accentuated by the blue and cream décor. It was inviting, a setting to put her clients at ease, he was sure. He tried to focus on anything other than the swirling memories battering against his skull. It wasn't any easier now than it had been for the past three years. His Blondie was never far from his thoughts. High school sweethearts, they'd been, puppy love growing into something stronger, more abiding and true, the heartbreak they'd suffered when he'd been forced to join the military and the hope of being reunited to begin a life together. Did she still love him? Did she still want to pursue their dreams?
Merle barely heard the door to the office open, but he couldn't mistake the small gasp which fell from her lips as she stood there, her gaze transfixed upon him. He was no better, frozen in place, his eyes raking her from top to toe. He should be angry with her because of the way she'd heartlessly cut herself out of his life, but he couldn't. He could see the tears welling in her eyes, the way her hand lifted to press tightly against her lips, and the small shiver which tripped through her body, and all he wanted was to take her in his arms.
"M-Merle? You're … you're really here?" she asked, her voice barely more than a whisper as she doubted her vision. It wouldn't have been the first time she'd dreamed him up to stave off the loneliness she felt with his absence. God, how she'd missed him. It had been one of the hardest things she'd ever done, cutting him out of her life, but she'd done what she'd thought was best at the time.
"Hey, Blondie." His smile was tenuous, still afraid she would reject him, but despite the niggling voice of his father in the back of his mind, he couldn't bring himself to listen to it. No … his girl needed honesty from him, the same honesty written for the entire world to see across his worn features. "I'm here … for good."
Those words seemed to break Andrea out of her stupor. She pushed herself off the closed office door and propelled herself across the room, launching herself into his open arms and weeping softly against his neck.
Merle wanted to hope her reaction was because she'd missed him, because she loved him still, but it could just as easily be that he'd taken her by surprise. In his experience, there was no way for a man to correctly interpret a woman's tears. He smoothed a calloused hand over her platinum curls and pressed a kiss to her temple. "Yeah, I'm here. That a good thing?" he asked shakily as his other arm tightened around her waist, refusing to let her go.
She smacked his shoulder and smiled up at him through her tears. "Of course, it's a good thing. What the hell is wrong with you?!" she scolded before nestling her head back into its previous position. "I haven't heard news of you in so long, I feared you might be dead."
Merle chuffed a laugh, reveling in the feel of her warm familiar body pressed so tightly to his. "Y' know only a Dixon can kill a Dixon, woman." He tilted her chin up to meet his gaze. "Wasn't sure if you'd wanna see me. Th' way we left things …"
Andrea heaved a heavy sigh and pulled away, tugging on his hand as she led him to the sofa. Her hands shook as she poured them each a cup of coffee, taking a sip as she tried to regain her composure. "I did what I thought was best," she said in her own defense. "It was selfish and stupid, but I couldn't sit there waiting for the day a uniform would show up at my door to tell me you'd been killed, Merle. I had to try to move on."
His jaw clenched at the thought of her with another man. It wasn't as if he hadn't tried to be with another woman in the time he'd been away, but the idea of touching anyone but her had left him cold and empty. He hadn't wanted to believe his mama when she'd told him Dixon men mated for life, thinking she just wanted to romanticize the budding relationship between him and Andrea when they'd first started seeing each other. It wasn't until later he'd realized she was right. As far back as his line went, he couldn't remember hearing of a divorce in his family tree. He wasn't sure about a Dixon woman, offspring tending to be predominantly male.
"An' did y' … move on? Y' married now?"
Her lower lip quivered as she set her cup down and peered up at him from beneath her lashes. "I … no, I couldn't. I tried about a year after you had to return to Afghanistan … went on a few dates, but … Damnit, they weren't you, Dixon. I guess there was still some part of me hoping you would come home one day … that you'd come home to me." She buried her face in her hands, angry at herself for sounding so needy. "I'm so pathetic," she mumbled. She was strong, independent, and successful. She'd worked hard to find herself and build a life of which she could be proud. Yet the moment she'd walked though that door to see Merle Dixon waiting for her, none of that mattered. She was still that same girl she'd been, desperately in love and yearning to be with him once more.
His icy blue eyes were intense as he stared at her, his heart fluttering madly at her admission. His life had been a mess once upon a time, and though he'd turned it around and become a man he could be proud of, he'd never thought he truly deserved happiness. To have it all tossed in his lap … it was overwhelming.
Merle scooped her up in his arms and deposited her onto his lap, securing her in his embrace as he claimed her lips with his. She didn't hesitate to wrap her arms around his broad shoulders, clinging to him as she gave as good as she got. Having her there, secure and warm in his arms … he felt as if he'd finally, truly, come home. When she was sufficiently breathless, he leaned back barely an inch to smile. "I'll always come home t' y', Blondie. Even after y' stomped on m' heart that last time, all I wanted was you." He placed another kiss to the corner of her mouth and trailed his lips over the smooth line of her delicate jaw. "I bought th' garage … got yer daddy workin' on finalizin' th' papers for me. Th' life we always talked about … a house, kids, hell, even a dog if y' want; it can be ours."
"Merle Dixon … are you proposing?" she asked, stunned as she cradled his face in her hands and yanked his head up, so she could stare wide-eyed at his grinning countenance.
"Not yet," he quipped. "Ain't gotta ring."
"Merle!" He laughed so hard his shoulders shook and she was sure he could be heard out in the lobby. "Merle, I'm serious."
"Don't get yer knickers in a knot there, darlin'." The smile slipped from his lips as his hand rose to cup her cheek, his thumb brushing lightly over her full lower lip. "Yeah … yeah, I'm serious. All I ever wanted was t' be with y'. I wanted Daryl t' be happy, a business of m' own, an' you at m' side." He gazed at her intently, silently willing her to accept him. "So, what say you, Blondie … y' wanna let me back in, give us another go?"
"I do, but –"
"Jus' so y' know, I ain't lettin' y' go again," he cut her off.
Andrea shook her head. "I don't want you to, but, Merle … there's something you need to know before –"
Whatever she'd been about to say was lost in the noise and distraction of her sister barging into the office. "I swear by all that is holy … that woman was sent from the seventh circle of hell to make my life miserable!" she expounded, running a hand through her long blonde hair as she balanced her niece on her hip and dropped the small backpack on a chair. "You've got to find a better daycare, Andrea. Oh … uhm … hi, Merle! When did you get back to town?"
Andrea hurriedly climbed off Merle's lap to take her daughter from Amy, cooing gently to her before addressing her sister. "What happened this time?"
"That evil hag! She called me when she couldn't get in touch with you and told me I needed to pick Em up because that Gaudet boy bit her!" Amy lifted the toddler's bandaged arm and thrust it into Andrea's face to prove her point. Then she had the nerve to make it out to be Em's fault! I'm telling you, Andrea, something has to be done! Brandy said she'd cover the rest of my shift at the bakery so I could take my niece to the doctor. He said to use Neosporin and keep it clean."
Andrea groaned. Amy had no idea of the shit storm she was raining down on the occupants of the room. She hadn't even dared glance at Merle since the two had arrived. Her daughter tucked her chin beneath Andrea's chin and had no qualms about staring at the strange man sitting on her mama's sofa.
Merle felt as if the world had come crashing to a violent halt as he gazed at the little girl. Her blonde hair wasn't as light as her mother's, but darker, more like Daryl's had been at that age. But there was no denying she was a Dixon, not with that tiny beauty mark at the corner of her mouth and the same eyes he saw in the mirror every morning. She was his. Andrea had given him a daughter and hadn't even bothered to contact him. The little girl couldn't be more than three years old, yet the calculating gleam in her eye was reminiscent of his own. Fuckin' hell!
"It's fine, Amy. I'll call her and sort it all out, jus' take her for a minute."
But the child was having none of it, her arms reaching out to the man who'd unconsciously drifted closer. Andrea couldn't put it off any longer, and raised her gaze to meet Merle's, but he only had eyes for their daughter.
"That is so weird," Amy muttered, her brows disappearing near her hairline. "Emmarie doesn't like strangers … any strangers."
Merle's hands trembled as he reached for his child, bringing her in close to his chest as she smiled up at him. "Hi there, little darlin'," he greeted her, his voice no more than a ragged whisper, the wealth of emotion lodged in his throat holding articulate sound captive.
"Hi, Daddy."
A/n: Surprise! I finally updated. I'm so sorry for the wait, but my schedule (writing, editing for my group of darling caryl girls), real life … sometimes, I find it hard to balance everything. I was swamped with reviews on this story from the lovely Carol uebs (thank you so much, darling! *hugs*), and they inspired me to get an update out to y'all. I really hope you enjoyed it! Great big buckets of love to my betas BettyBubble and Geektaire! If you haven't read 'Don't Kiss' by BettyBubble or 'The MacDixon Series' by Geektaire (A03) then y'all are missing out. They're fabulous!