AN: Sorry if the gymnastics is off, I get all my information from Google. Thank you to all my reviewers!
Payson narrowed her eyes. "I don't see why I can't do the double Tsukahara." Her back was facing him, hands on her hips. Even from behind she looked menacing. Payson's eyes bore into the vault, as if she stared at it threatening enough it would somehow convince Sasha that she was capable.
"A single will be fine." Sasha tried to look reassuring, but to no prevail.
"I can do it," Payson argued. "I can do a single in my sleep. I want a challenge."
"The Olympic Trials are nothing to fool around with," he cautioned, although he instantly regretted saying anything. She spun around so quickly he had to blink twice before coming to his senses. "Payson," he warned.
"Do not Payson me!" she spat. "And do not accuse me of 'fooling around.' That is the last thing I have ever done and will ever do. This is my life, Sasha! My entire life comes down to this trial. Mess up once, and I won't be going to London." Her hand trembled a little bit. "I'm terrified, Sasha, but I refuse to play it safe. I need to wow them. I need to completely knock their socks off, and the single isn't going to do it. It's crucial I am the best, you have to know that. I have so much to prove to Healthy Bar and to my parents and the NGO..." She trailed off, twisting her silver band around her finger. It had become a nervous habit. Her eyes found his and he could see the desperation behind him. "Sasha, please. Doing a single won't be enough to get me on the team."
"I know you don't fool around, I apologize. I just want you to know that no one expects you to do more than you physically can manage. Your back can't support the type of moves that you want it to. You are an artistic gymnast. Your vault will be stunning, I promise, but it won't be in the way you're imagining."
"My back can support a double."
"Yes," Sasha relented, "but if there is any chance that it won't work out, I don't want to test our luck."
"You think I won't be able to land it." It wasn't a question.
"I think you can, but you only get two chances. If you don't land one…"
"I can land it. I know it's a risk, but Sasha, if I do the single, I definitely won't go to London. There won't even be a chance."
"You don't know that."
Payson didn't look happy. "A single won't make me stand out." She wasn't ready to give up yet.
"All you need to do is impress the judges, and if my vision for this is realized, I promise you will do more than impress them."
"I better," she grumbled. Suddenly an idea took form in her head. "I propose a deal," she announced, her back straightening. "I show you a double Tsukahara. If I stick the landing, we do it my way. If I stumble or hop even the slightest little bit, we figure out a compromise."
Sasha shook his head. "No bargaining, Payson, like you said, this is your future. We're not going to make this a gamble."
Payson crossed her arms across her chest. "You aren't giving me any choice in the matter! What am I supposed to think? If you think I can't do the double Tsukahara, what makes you think I can go to the Olympics?"
"I think that you can do it, I just don't think it's worth risking."
"Payson?" she heard Kim call from the office. "Can I talk to you for a sec?"
Payson glared at Sasha and pointed an accusatory finger at him, jabbing it into his chest. "This," she snapped, "is not over." She spun on her heels and marched up to the office where her mother was waiting with an unopened letter in her hands. "What is it?" Payson asked, her voice revealing her bad mood to her mother.
"I should be asking you that," Kim responded, "for two reasons. One, because this letter is addressed to you, and I have no idea what this is or who it is from." She gave the letter to her daughter, "And two, because you are grumpy, and I want to know why."
"I am not grumpy," Payson scoffed. Kim raised her eyebrows. Her daughter sighed. "Okay, fine, maybe a little bit. But only because Sasha…"
Kim started at the sound of his name. She pulled Payson inside the office. "Did you two have a fight?" she murmured.
Payson shook her head. "Nothing less than normal, really, he just doesn't think I can do the double Tsukahara, so he's insisting I do a single!"
"And you aren't happy," said Kim.
"Well, who would be happy?" Payson exclaimed. "You know just as well as I do that the vault I show at the Trials is the most important vault I've ever done. A single anything won't be enough."
"Payson, are you feeling pressured by the Healthy Bar deal, because…"
"No! That has nothing to do with it. Not all my problems were caused by that deal! This is all that I've ever worked for, and Sasha's asking me to throw it all away."
"He is the coach, Pay; don't you think you should trust him?" Kim asked. Payson was silent. Her mother's expression turned from concern to alarm. "You don't trust him? There's a reason that you shouldn't trust him, isn't there? He did something…"
"NO!" Payson exclaimed, a little too loudly. She lowered her voice. "I do trust Sasha. I trust him more than anything, but sometimes he's right, and sometimes he's wrong, like he was wrong to try to keep Kaylie out of Worlds." Kim nodded. "And I believe that taking a risk and doing the double is going to get me to the Olympics. I believe it more than anything, but I don't think he's going to budge."
"I think you have to stand your ground, Pay. The only person more stubborn than him is you. I think you can convince him." Kim suddenly frowned. "Wait, have you ever done a double Tsukahara before?"
Payson shrugged. "Well, yeah, but never in competition."
"Is it safe?" Kim asked.
Payson narrowed her eyes. "Nothing in gymnastics is safe, Mom."
"Oh, and that's supposed to make me feel better?" Kim said sarcastically. Payson smiled cheekily. "You know what I mean, Payson Keeler. Does Sasha think the odds of you getting hurt are bigger than usual if you do this double?"
"He didn't say that. He said it wasn't worth the risk, but I thought he meant the risk of me screwing it up and ruining my Olympic dreams, not injuring myself."
"I'll talk to him. But, Pay, if this is really dangerous…"
"It's not like I'm asking for Cortisone, Mom. This isn't hazardous. Sasha just doesn't believe…"
"In you?" her mother interrupted. "Of course he does! He was the only one who believed you would ever be a gymnast again. He just wants you to go to the Olympics so badly; he forgets what you're capable of and focuses on what will just be enough."
"You're right, but Mom, I can't 'just be enough', I have to be the best!"
"I understand. Sasha has to know that, not me." Kim gripped her daughter's arm. Payson sighed. "Look, if you think he'll listen to me, I'll talk to him," the mother added. "I know this is really important to you, and even though Sasha is your coach…" she trailed off.
"Not even Sasha can be right all the time," Payson finished.
"That's true. Alright, I will speak to him. Sasha!" she called, opening the door to the office and getting his attention. "Can I talk to you?" Payson took this as her cue to leave, the letter Kim gave her unopened in her hand.
She figured she could just open it in the main gym area, but when she saw the handwriting on the envelope she froze. Her eyes traveled around the gym, looking for one particular face in the crowd, but she didn't see it. Payson relaxed a little. Good, she thought, because the last thing I need right now is…
But then he covered her eyes. "Guess who?" Nicky Russo asked. She would know his voice anywhere.
"The guy who sold me illegal Cortisone and then kissed me," she immediately blurted out. The hands went away and she blinked a couple of times so her vision would stop being so blurry.
She felt queasy. Why was he back?
"Correct," Nicky said, and she turned to see a lopsided smile on his face. He looked at the letter in her hand. "I see that got here pretty late. I wrote to you to tell you I was coming."
Payson glared. "Ever heard of a phone?"
"You wouldn't have answered," he shot back.
"True," Payson relented, "but you would've left a message, and then I wouldn't be totally shocked right now."
"True," he said, using her words, "but how could I have known you wouldn't have deleted the message without listening to it?"
Payson ignored that. "Well, I have to do beam. How long are you going to be here?" she demanded. Please say you're leaving right now, and then I never have to see you again…
He spread his arms out wide. "You should probably get used to seeing me." Nicky's eyebrows went up, "How about tonight?"
"I have a boyfriend," Payson growled.
"Oh," Nicky nodded knowingly. "Him?" he asked, pointing his head towards Max Spencer. "I saw a picture of you hugging him at Worlds online."
"No! Not him! Never!" she exclaimed.
Payson saw Sasha coming towards them and instantaneously relaxed. "Hey!" she called. "Did you know about this?" she demanded, but Nicky could hear gentleness in her voice that had not been included in the venomous tone she used to speak to him. What was going on here? What had he done that had been so wrong?
"No," Sasha said to Payson, narrowing his eyes. "Nicky, what are you doing here?"
"Gosh, no wonder no one sends letters anymore," the younger man said, shaking his head. "Yours must've gotten lost in the mail. I'm training here now, and you're taking me to Olympics Trials." Payson saw the surprise in Sasha's face and relaxed even more. He hadn't known. He didn't arrange this. Hopefully, he would tell Nicky to take a hike.
"I need to speak to your parents," Sasha said sternly. "Where are they?"
"They'll be by tomorrow to take care of some more paperwork, and they'll be bringing the contracts they already signed at my old gym," Nicky explained, never taking his eyes off Payson. Sasha felt a protectiveness ripple through him like a stone hitting the water. He inched closer to Payson, not enough to raise suspicion, but enough that Nicky had to look his new coach in the eye.
"We'll speak then, okay, Nicky? I'm afraid this isn't prom, I have gymnasts to train, so I'm going to have to ask you to leave." Sasha's eyes bore into the boy. He didn't know why, but Payson seemed to resent him, and that made Sasha resent him. That wouldn't be fair once Nicky started training, but for now whatever about him was making Payson uncomfortable had to go. He reached out his hand for Nicky to shake. "See you then," Sasha calmly told him.
"See you then, Coach B!" Nicky exclaimed. Sasha winced.
"Just Sasha, please," he requested.
"Will do," Nicky agreed. He turned to Payson. "I'll be sure to run into you again tomorrow, okay sweetheart?"
"I doubt it," she said, mock friendliness in her voice, "but say hello to your parents for me…oh wait, I never did meet them, did I?"
He grinned back at her. "I'll be sure to do that." Once Nicky was out the door, Sasha turned to Payson, and she could see the concern and the fierceness in his eyes. She stepped back and turned to him so no one would suspect anything.
"Do I get to do the double?" she asked first. Sasha laughed. Of course that would be the first thing on her mind, when all he wanted to know was what Nicky had done to her. "Why are you laughing? This is very important to me, Sasha. I can't just be enough; I have to be the best! If I'm going to win a gold medal at the actual Olympics, I have to wow them at the Trials, and I can't do that with a…"
"…single, I know," Sasha assured her. "I know, but can we please talk about Nicky first?" Payson looked around to see if anyone was watching, and then pulled him into the stairwell, nervously twisting her band around her finger. "Love, if he hurt you, I don't have to train him. I can deny his application, but I'll need a solid reason. If you don't want him here, you have to tell me why."
"I don't want him here, but that doesn't really matter." Payson sighed, "I can't tell you not to train him just because…"
"Just because of what, Payson?" he asked gently.
"Do you really want to know?" she inquired.
"Of course," Sasha assured her.
"Alright," she said, taking a deep breath and beginning.
"Before I realized how much I loved you, before I broke my back, Nicky would tell me things about how I was the only girl who was so dedicated to gymnastics, and how much he loved that about me. He understood why I wanted the Cortisone, and he sold it to me illegally. I threw it out, but I still really liked him. After Nationals when I was in the brace he kissed me, and I thought we would be together like Lauren and Carter were. I thought he believed I would do gymnastics again, but obviously he didn't." Rare tears were welling up in Payson's eyes, and she brushed them away quickly so Sasha wouldn't see them. He did, though, and he leaned in and hugged her. "Then he left," she finished. "I had feelings for him when I broke my back, and he kissed me, and then he left. I don't have any feelings left for him, but I don't like seeing him again. It brings back a lot of unpleasant memories. I was so jealous of Kaylie then, because they were the gymnastics power couple to the media and no one expected me to ever set foot in a gym again. That's why it meant so much to me when he kissed me. I thought it meant he would be there for me in that bad time, but he wasn't. He didn't even say goodbye."
"I know how you must've felt in that situation," Sasha consoled her, thinking of Summer, "and you know how much I love you. I'll never do to you what he did."
"No, you won't, but you can still take Nicky to the Olympics. He's good. He's really good. He listens, and I know you liked training him before"
"I don't know if I can do that, Love." Sasha ran a hand through his hair. "I know I'm supposed to be unbiased, but he left you when you were at your most vulnerable, and the last time he was here he brought so much media attention that none of you need right now. I did like training him before. He works hard, but I don't like anyone in my gym that's going to bring that much drama into my elite's life, especially this close to Olympics Trials. Kaylie will probably resent him, too, won't she? They didn't get along well last time, either, and reporters would want to ask her all these questions relating to him and her eating disorder, if they're connected at all…" Sasha sighed. "I can't believe how much I didn't know about you girls before. All of you have broken the rules at least twice!"
"Twice?" she asked.
"Don't you remember the keg party?" He laughed. "I tortured you." Payson groaned at the memory. "Well, anyway, I'll have to talk to his parents…probably without him in the room."
"I don't know if that's a good idea," Payson cautioned.
"Why do you think so? I thought you said you'd never met them?"
"There's a reason for that, at least according to Nicky."
"What reason?" he asked.
"Nicky told me his parents are worse than Kelly Parker's."