Author's Note: Again, much of this is very similar to my sister story, Ember: Half Demon, Half Human. I do not own Supernatural. Please review!

July

The days when Castiel was not at Ember's home felt like they were moving slowly. True to his promise to Dean, he kept himself moving. He always came and went under the cover of nightfall, hoping that this made him more inconspicuous. He spent nearly a week in a shelter in Chicago, then returned to Ember's for two nights. After that he spent five days homeless in Burlington, Vermont, then caught a ride back to Ember's but stayed only one night. He began July in Birmingham, Alabama, only to work his way back west and end up at Ember's house again for two nights. He was taken in by a shelter in Omaha, Nebraska, but left after a few days, then returned to Ember's after two days of living on the streets.

The pattern continued. From there he spent two days on the streets before coming across a shelter in Waterville, Maine. Ember called and asked when he was coming to visit after he had spent 7 days there, and he complied, but only for two nights. He was homeless for 3 nights wandering around Louisiana before returning to Ember, this time only for one night. After that, he found a shelter in Las Vegas, Nevada, but returned to Ember again near the beginning of August.

With Ember's help, and thanks to several hard lessons, Castiel was getting better at saving food, and no longer felt constantly hungry and thirsty. In the wake of these basic needs being (usually) satisified, Castiel's heart and mind turned to other issues.

Guilt was Castiel's constant companion, and his unshakeable shadow. What he had done was incomprehensible, and he was absolutely desperate for some way to make things better, any possible way to redeem himself. There were small opportunities, and plenty of them, but somehow it never seemed like enough.

The other problem was hormones. Castiel had never truly understood the male sex drive, but he was beginning to understand why humans committed so much sin.

Having sex with April had been a mistake. Aside from the obvious fact that he had ended up dead as a result, Castiel often felt that the sex seemed to have awakened something inside of him that left him constantly wanting. This constant need had been bad enough before April – he had gotten used to the need to pleasure himself daily, but at least he hadn't known what he was missing. It was only after April, however, that he began to constantly imagine what sex would be like with the person he was truly in love with – Ember.

It had been bad enough when he was an angel, and her half-demon powers attracted him. Now, being around her felt like a sweet kind of torture. She was kind enough to let him into her house on a regular basis - to let him eat her food, sleep on her couch, and keep her company. He was ashamed of the way that he wanted her, with every part of his being, in very human ways. Still, the days he spent with Ember were the highlight of his life, and forcing himself to leave always seemed like a monumental challenge.

"Are you sure you have to leave?" she would ask each time he left. "What about the warding? Shouldn't that protect you?"

He would shake his head. "I can't allow you and your family to be hurt on my account," he would say. "No one can know I come here from time to time."

She would sigh and allow him to leave, but never empty-handed. Each time he left her home, it was with food in his backpack and in his belly. It wasn't much, but it was enough to sustain him, and he was thankful for it.

Ember also sent him away each time with dozens and dozens of quarters for the payphone, requesting that he call her "whenever he wanted." Eventually he found himself calling her often in the evenings, when he was bored and tired. She encouraged him, and he hoped that he could provide encouragement for her as well. He knew she had been hurting since she had lost Dean.

In return for her hospitality, he did chores for her around the house. He fixed things to the best of his ability, cooked, cleaned, and did laundry. He helped the children with homework, and taught them fighting skills. Cooking was Castiel's favorite thing to do, and it also seemed to be Ember's favorite thing for him to do; she hated cooking herself, and avoided it at all costs. Apparently, he had picked up more than he thought about the craft in homeless shelters and soup kitchens. It seemed to be one of the few things that came naturally for him, now that he was a human.

Ember never asked for Castiel's help, but she always seemed thankful. "Cas, you don't have to do all of this," she would say. "I know it's been hard for you, all of this new humany stuff. Let me take care of you."

"Nonsense," Castiel said. "You give me the gift of your hospitality, as often as I can risk it. I do as much as I can to earn my keep."

Castiel was getting to know and like Ember's children as well. She had become a foster parent, he learned, and was legally adopting all four children. Dean had located them for her. A vampire had killed their parents, and they had banded together. Each was special in their own way – Josephine was smart, Aidan was quick and athletic, and Krissy was tough as nails. The four of them formed a tight-knit family, and Castiel longed to join it, a dream which he knew could never really come true.

More than anything, however, Castiel enjoyed evenings with Ember. All three of the children would spend their evenings at various appointments – studying, with friends, or on various forms of social media. Ember would watch television or play video games, and Castiel would always join her. He asked questions about everything, and felt that he was learning more and more about humanity and what that entailed. Somehow, these questions always turned into deep conversations about the human existence.

Ember and Castiel talked about everything – Dean, Sam, the Apocalypse, Castiel's days as "God", Ember's job, therapy in general, the children, Ember's relationship with Dean, and Castiel's time on the run. Ember smiled more than Castiel had ever seen her smile, and he hoped desperately that he was the cause of that. He loved to make her laugh, and when he was feeling hungry or guilty he would try to picture her laughing face. It always made him feel better.

August 3

"You do realize this game is very crass, don't you?" asked Castiel for the third time that night.

"Duh," said Krissy. "That's what makes it so much fun."

Ember rolled her eyes. "I can't believe you guys talked me into playing Cards Against Humanity with an angel, for Christ's sake," she said, her head in her hands.

"I'm not an angel," Castiel responded. "I'm human now."

"Exactly," said Aidan. "And, as a human, it is our duty to introduce you to Cards Against Humanity. Besides, Cas. you're winning. Josie, it's your turn to choose."

"Fine," said Josephine. She picked up a black card. "What never fails to liven up the party?"

"An ex-angel who keeps asking what all of these cards mean," joked Krissy, giving Castiel a big grin.

"I'm not sure whether to be insulted or not," Castiel said honestly.

"Don't be," Ember said. "We're having a great time. This is literally the most fun game of Cards Against I've ever played."

"What is 'pixelated bukkake'?" asked Castiel, and the entire group, including him, burst out laughing.

~ANGELS WILL FALL~

"I hope I didn't embarrass myself in the game earlier today," Castiel told Ember late that night. They were watching a show called Doctor Who, and it was a commercial break. Ember was sitting too close to him on the couch. He liked her nearness, but he had to constantly refrain from watching her instead of the television show.

Ember laughed. Castiel liked the sound of her laugh. "You did," she said, "But it was in a good way. Here, it's back on."

Castiel supposed that would have to be good enough; he had made her happy, and that was something. He watched the show intently, but he found that he didn't understand it. "I don't understand this show's concept of Heaven," he told Ember during the next commercial break. "Why is Heaven full of skeletons in tanks of water?"

"It's not actually Heaven," Ember told him. "The Doctor's enemy, the Master, has figured out how to use advanced technology from their home planet to intercept the souls when people die and put them into Cybermen so that she can take over the world."

Castiel thought about this. "It's all very complicated," he said.

Ember was staring at the screen intently, even though the episode was over. It was obvious she was still thinking about something.

"Castiel, where do angels go when they die?"

Castiel stopped to think about it. "I've been told we – I mean, they – go to the empty."

Ember frowned, staring curiously at Castiel. "What's that?"

"I'm not sure," he said honestly.

"And… what about you?" asked Ember, looking at him and scooting closer as if to search for something in his eyes. "You're human… but do you have a soul?"

"I… don't know that either," he said. He thought back to his time in the homeless shelters and on the run, and what he had learned so far about his human self. "But… I have no temptation toward wrong-doing, like other humans do when they don't have a soul. I've been angry, but I have no urge to kill humans. I've been upset, and guilty, and remorseful, and I feel it deeply." He continued to think about it. "Perhaps I do have a soul, or… perhaps I simply have lived too long as an angel for it to matter."

Ember seemed to consider this. Finally she said, "If you do have a soul, then that means when you die, you'll go to Heaven, right?"

"I suppose so, yes."

"Each soul has its own Heaven, right?" she asked. "Dean told me that."

"Yes, that's true," Castiel said. Then he asked, "What would yours look like?", because he simply wanted to know.

She thought a moment. "Spending time with my mother," she answered honestly. "Before I knew about demons, and before I had powers. Before I was constantly scared."

Castiel was shocked at her answer, and the flippancy with which she said it. He wished that she never had to be scared again. For a second, he wished that Sam had gone through with the trials and locked the demons into Hell forever. As he was about to say something to this effect (though perhaps not about Sam), Ember asked, "What would yours look like?"

Castiel thought back to the eternal Tuesday afternoon of the autistic man who had drowned in a bathtub in 1953. It had been peaceful there, he thought, with flowers, and a sprawling landscape. He was about to explain this to Ember, but then he had another thought.

"Here, I think," he answered honestly. "Here, with you."

"Really?" She asked. "Why am I so special?"

"You are very special," Castiel said, thinking fast. "You accept me, even after everything I've done. And… and you're funny. And your children are truly delightful. You are all models of the human species."

Ember began to laugh, and she reached across the sofa to hug him. They gave each other quick hugs when they said good-bye, Castiel reflected later, but this was only the second time she had given him a hug as long as this one. Once again, he inhaled the scent of oranges and felt his body begin to respond to her closeness. This time, however, he did not let go, but simply moved slightly backward, making sure to cover the evidence of his arousal. Finally, when she moved to let go, he did as well, feeling suddenly cold at the loss of her body.

"Castiel, seriously, you really need to stay for longer," she said. "You always know how to make me smile."

August 11

Castiel loved the taste of eggs and bacon. He had made a spread for the rest of the family on Saturday morning. He would never admit to Ember that he had continued to search out opportunities to learn how to cook, simply to impress her and the kids. Cooking seemed to be the most useful thing to do in Ember's new home, because it was the only chore that she point-blank refused to learn, and so he had approached the task with gusto.

He thought he had done a fairly good job, too. He was the first one to awaken, and the thought of the look on Ember's face when she saw the spread brought a smile to his face. It felt like his first smile this week.

Castiel's head turned sharply when he heard whispering. Suddenly Josephine emerged from the living room, clearing her throat as she entered. "Excuse me, Mr. Castiel," she said, approaching him formally. Then she saw the food. "Wow, did you make these?"

"Yes," he said, "It's the least I could do. Eat up!"

"Thanks!" she said, seeming to forget what she had been about to ask. She grabbed a plate and a lavish amount of eggs, and sat down across from him at the table. Aidan also emerged from the living room, and at the sight of him, Josephine seemed to remember what she had been about to ask. "Oh! Right!" She was much less formal now, as though the eggs had been some sort of icebreaker. "We wanted to know if you could practice fighting us."

"What?" said Castiel, surprised.

"Last time you were here, you said you'd practice fighting with us someday if it was okay with Ember," Aidan spoke up. "We have all the foam weapons we use with her in the basement. You know, for practice?"

Castiel was caught off guard. "Ember - what would she say?" He hoped this was the correct answer.

"She practice fights with us sometimes, so that all of us can keep up our strength if someone tries to attack us," Josephine filled in. "She said it was okay when Aidan asked her, but that we had to ask you. You don't have to if you don't want to, though."

~ANGELS WILL FALL~

When Ember had come down to breakfast around 10AM, she had been pleased with the spread. Her face had lit up, and she had given Castiel a huge smile and thanked him profusely. Then she had looked at his clothing, which was the same as what he had worn yesterday. "Cas, I'm taking you shopping today. You've been so kind to us lately, it's the least I can do."

When they had left at noon, Krissy had yet to come down to breakfast, and Josephine had had to leave for her job at McDonald's, where she worked from 11 to 4. When Aidan had asked Ember, again, about Castiel practicing fighting with them, she had said that it was a great idea (if he would agree to it), and that they could do it after Josephine got off of work.

During the shopping trip, Ember regaled Castiel with what he had missed in the lives of the children since his last trip over a week ago. "Krissy's math has been better since you helped her last week," Ember said. "I checked her grades this morning, even though she doesn't know I know how. She still doesn't trust me. Victor did a number on them, though, so I can't be surprised..." She sighed. "It's the same old story. They're always worried that I'm going to come home a vampire, or that I'm not going to come home…" She trailed off. "Of course, I'm not really sure how much of that is related to them being in foster care and the trauma they've been through, and how much of it is related to just hunting in general."

"You're a great mother," Castiel said. "The situation you've been put in, with you being half-demon, and the choice you've made, to take care of other children who have been orphaned as a result of hunting, is admirable." He had said it before, and it always made her smile.

Ember also told Castiel what to expect in regards to the children's fighting styles as they picked out first a suitcase and then several new pairs of shirts and pants for Castiel. "Watch Aidan, he needs the most work, but don't tell him that," she said. "He never puts his feet right, and he makes these big sweeping strokes that don't hit… Krissy is nearly always on target, though. And what Josie doesn't have in agility and speed, she makes up for in accuracy. Once, Krissy and Josie together almost beat me, and I had to use my force powers to repel them. They want to see if they can beat you."

Castiel couldn't help remembering a sparring practice with Ember a very long time ago, when the group of them were working to take down Lucifer. He wondered if this would be like that.

~ANGELS WILL FALL~

Castiel learned quickly that this was nothing like sparring with Ember. The basement of the large house had been converted into a matted sparring room, which was full of foam and other practice weapons. Ember and Castiel served as instructors, and Castiel was surprised at the ease with which he slipped into the role. "You're leaving yourself too open," he told Josephine slowly, watching her fight with Krissy. "You're concentrating too much on accuracy and sacrificing quickness." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ember give him a smile and a quick nod.

Castiel knew, without asking, that Dean had been down here at one point, sparring with the children and instructing them as well. Krissy in particular had picked up a few moves that Castiel recognized as very Dean-like.

The children were good fighters – better fighters than most hunters, to be honest, though no match for Ember or Castiel. As Ember had warned him, Krissy was lethal with a blade. In their first match, he went easy on her, and almost let her get the better of him. While they stopped for water, Castiel watched Ember dual-wielding a pair of foam knives against Aidan and Josephine. Ember's hair was tied in its usual ponytail, and she wore lounge paints again with a black crop top and tennis shoes. She dodged Aidan's blows easily as she discussed trigonometry homework with Josephine during their swordfight.

"Dean said he taught her to fight like that," Krissy said, following Castiel's eyes. "But I think she has completely her own style."

Castiel agreed. "Her force powers play a role in her style," he said. They had discussed it once, late one night, with Dean and Sam. "She picked up some moves from Dean, but her force powers help determine which moves are easiest to use and which ones are best left for practice sparring or playing around. That's why she likes to dual-wield – so she can keep her force energy even on both sides."

Krissy appeared to think on this for a second, then slowly raised her foam sword to his face, signaling that the water break was over.

They had been fighting for about half a minute when the teenager spoke up. "Castiel, how long are you staying this time?"

"Should you really talk until you're confident you can fight in silence?" Castiel asked, forcing her slowly backward toward the wall.

"Ember encourages us to talk," Krissy said. "Because our opponents will be taunting us."

Suddenly, she grinned evilly, ducking under his arm in a quick move he didn't anticipate. "Hey Cas, what are you doing tonight?"

Castiel was suddenly on the offensive, but it only lasted a second before he had used his strength to force Krissy backward while parrying. "I'm not sure, why?"

"Just figured we might all want to get out of here," she said, concentrating so hard that tiny lines appeared on her forehead. "You know, so you and Ember can have some time alone together." And, once again, she ducked away from him.

Castiel froze at her words, only for a second, but then he felt the foam sword pushing comically into his chest.

Aidan noticed it first, and became so distracted that Ember was able to hold him easily at swordpoint, effectively ending the fight on the other side of the room. Ember turned around slowly and grinned when she saw Krissy and Castiel. "Finally got the better of you, did she?" she said proudly.

Castiel prayed that Krissy wouldn't explain the full situation to Ember, and fortunately she didn't seem inclined to elaborate on her win. He thought his face must be horribly red, however. Ember raised her eyebrows at Castiel, but that was the only sign she gave that she knew something must be amiss.