A Story of Us
by Kadi
Rated T
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this. It's just my favorite sandbox to play in.
Chapter 24
She was in the shower when he got home. Andy dropped his badge and gun on the dresser. He rolled his neck and shoulders and then shrugged out of his jacket and toed out of his shoes. Normally he'd have climbed into the shower with his wife, but tonight he decided that he could wait. He had peeked in on Joey, but the baby was asleep in his crib, no surprise given the hour.
Andy had gone out with the guys after work. They all needed to unwind and let go of their most recent case, he was no exception to that. So he tagged along, then he played designated driver. Like he usually did when the guys were drinking. Andy sighed as he sat on the edge of the bed to wait for his wife to get out of the shower.
He'd had to listen to it while they were out. Somehow it had gotten out and around the department that Sharon was retiring. She had apparently told Pope and Taylor as much. That was news to him. She was fed up and she wanted out, and she was citing personal reasons. Andy heard the shower cut off, even as he felt the anger he kept at bay for most of the day begin to rise again. If she had personal reasons for wanting out of her job, she sure as hell never mentioned it to him.
Yeah, he knew about the job offer over at the convention center. She turned it down. At least, he thought she did. They talked about it, and he thought they decided together that it wouldn't work for them. The hours would take her away from Joey too much, and then there was the lack of daycare on site, so she wouldn't even have the opportunity to see him during the day.
Andy leaned forward where he sat, arms draped against his knees, hands hanging loosely between them. He stared at the floor in front of him. He played along with the guys. Told them it was something they were talking about. Talking hell. They were going to talk alright. He thought they were in this together? If she was that unhappy, why the hell had she not told him?
When the bathroom door opened, steam billowed into the room. Andy had a good head of it to go along with what was escaping into the bedroom. He looked up, eyes dark and hooded, and watched his wife step into the bedroom with a towel wrapped around her body and another covering her hair. His teeth ground together. Normally he'd have wanted nothing more than to strip the towel from her and take her to bed, but at the moment, all he wanted were answers.
"Hi." Sharon smiled when she saw him. "Did you have a good time?" He seemed tense as she passed. She stopped at the dresser and lifted a bottle of lotion. She turned, head tilted as she watched him. "Don't tell me he got sick down the side of your car again?" The last time he took his overly intoxicated partner home, the results had not been great for the wax job on her husband's car.
"Provenza is fine." Andy straightened on the bed. "Right now I'm more worried about you," he said tersely. "You going to tell me what the hell is going on, or do I need to wait until all the details are floating around the department? You're so damned unhappy with our life that you can't tell me about it, but you can sure as hell put in notice that you're retiring?" He stood up and the muscles in his back and arms bunched painfully with tension. "What the hell, Sharon?"
She blinked at him. The coolness surprised her, but so too did the unbridled fury that she could sense moving through him. It made her stomach clench and roll with anxiety. She walked around him to her side of the bed without saying anything. Instead, she sat and rubbed lotion between her hands before she began applying it to her legs and arms. "I'm not going anywhere," she said plainly. "I thought you knew that."
A muscle in his jaw ticked at the haughty way in which she answered him. "What I know is that my partner is bouncing up and down about planning your goddamned retirement party because you told Pope that you were done," Andy snapped at her. "Really? You're done? Just like that. Without talking to me about it. While we're at it, maybe you can explain a few of those personal matters that are effecting your decision. I think I have a right to know if my wife is—"
"Laying a trap?" Sharon looked up at him. Her eyes flashed, but she tried to ignore his belligerent tone. Andy had a temper. He'd obviously worked himself into a state, and she realized the others must have contributed to that. Sharon shook her head at him. She should have warned him, but the opportunity to do so just hadn't presented itself. Besides which, it worked more in her favor if his response was genuine. "Andy, there is a leak in your division," she said slowly, and at length. "No one wants to believe it, but it's there. Would you like to know how I know that it's there? Because when I went to see Coach Carr, Peter Goldman was already with him. He knew about the conversation I had with Chief Pope and Commander Taylor. Someone had already leaked it to him." She stood up again and held the towel in place with a hand to her chest as she moved to stand in front of him. "Would you like to amend your attitude, or are we going to fight about it?"
His eyes narrowed. "You couldn't warn me?" Andy glowered up at her. "Do you know what I had to listen to all evening? Personal reasons, Sharon? Come on, you know what that sounds like, don't you?"
She watched him run a hand through his hair and sighed. "It sounds like maybe this law suit is more than either of us is willing to let come between us and I'm taking a lucrative offer to separate myself from it." Sharon sighed. "No, Andy," she said impatiently, "why don't you tell me what that sounds like to you?" She folded her arms over her chest. So it looked as though they were going to fight it out after all.
He stood up and paced angrily around the room as he went about getting undressed for the evening. "It sounds like we're having problems, Sharon. At least that's what the guys thought. It's what everyone thought when they heard the rumor. I spent the last few hours convincing everyone that we're okay. That we're not fighting. That I don't give a damn that you're—"
"Tagging along behind you to every crime scene like a hall monitor, pointing out every little thing that you do wrong?" She followed him with her eyes and felt her own temper beginning to rise. "I seem to recall you not minding the idea much in the beginning. Tell me, Lieutenant, has your opinion of that changed? Not exactly as enjoyable as you thought it would be, is it?"
"Don't." Andy pointed a finger at her. "Don't put words in my mouth, Sharon. That's not what I'm saying at all, and it's not what I'm telling them either. Hell, I know why you're there. It's not like you asked for this. But shit, do you have to point out when I'm late?" He threw his hands up in exasperation. "Joey is teething, he wouldn't settle down for the sitter and I didn't want to leave you here with that alone. So yeah, I was a little later to the crime scene than normal, but I got there within the—"
"I know that!" Sharon's hands slapped against her thighs when she tossed them in frustration. "It wasn't a criticism, Andy. I know perfectly well why you were late. I had to note it in the log, but I couldn't note the reason for it. You think I want to be doing this? Do you have any idea how much work is piled up on my desk right now? Do you know how long it's been since I actually worked a Force Investigation case? Lieutenant Davidson is still running my division. It's like I never came back from Maternity leave at all. I'm there, but I'm not. To top it all off, I have the lot of you rolling your eyes and ignoring my suggestions, and that's fine. Go right ahead. I'll see you in court with another law suit as soon as this one is over. That's if you get to keep your badges!"
"If?" Andy took a step toward her. "Oh, right… now it is our fault. Yes, we're so bad at everything we do that's why we have the highest close and conviction rate in the state. So there were some bad calls made, no one is perfect," he shot back at her. "Unless of course you're trying to say that you—"
"You don't want to finish that statement." Sharon pointed a finger at him. "Unless you'd like to sleep downstairs tonight, which is what you are getting perilously close to having to do." Her chest constricted. She shook her head at him. "We talked about this. I warned you that this would happen. You don't like my job, and I don't always like yours. Some bad calls were made, Andy. I don't believe they were done out of malice, which is why I am trying to keep anymore from being made. At least as long as the law suit is ongoing, and then I'm out of it. With some luck, maybe some of what I am pointing out will actually stick and this won't happen again!"
"We don't need you telling us how to work a murder case," Andy snapped. "I think our record speaks for itself!" He jerked out of his dress shirt and tossed it across the room. The tie was already gone. Anger continued to roll in his stomach, bitter and hot and fueling his bad mood. "Just ignore me like you always do. What the hell was that about, want to explain that one, Sharon? We've been doing everything that you've been asking of us for weeks now. Do you have any idea how damned annoying it is to have someone constantly—"
"Yes, as a matter of fact I do," she shot back. Her cheeks flushed with indignation. Her voice rose with her rising ire. "Because it's damned annoying to have to do it! Yes, your record speaks for itself. That's why I'm having to follow you around and point out all of your mistakes!"
Andy's mouth opened. He snapped it closed and turned away from her instead. His teeth ground together again as he worked off his belt and tossed it into a corner. "I'm going downstairs," he announced tersely.
"Yes," she said evenly. "I think that you'd better." Sharon folded her arms over her chest and glowered at the floor. She couldn't look at him. It was entirely too painful. She was too angry to think about it, however. She'd warned him that they would end up in this place, upset at one another with their work as the cause. He hadn't wanted to listen. He promised they would be okay. That remained to be seen.
He didn't slam the door behind him. He was mindful, at least, of the sleeping baby, but it closed with a hard click. Sharon's eyes closed and she drew a thin, shaking breath. She sat down on the edge of the bed and lowered her head into her hands. The towel slipped and she let it fall. Her hair tumbled in wet, tousled locks to obscure her face.
Andy made it only as far as the stairs before he turned back. The anger left him and he was left feeling lightheaded and exhausted. It wasn't her fault. It was Goldman and the Chief. It was Pope and his grand ideas for saving his own ass. It was Provenza and his loud mouth, Taylor and his gossiping. It was him and his bad temper. Andy walked back into the bedroom and leaned miserably against the door once it closed behind him. The sadness in her gaze when she looked up at him made him feel sick. "I'm an ass."
"I'm a bitch." She took no pleasure in his misery and stood as he walked toward her. She took a step away from the bed and when his arms folded around her, she let hers slide around his waist. Her hands slid up his back and she tucked her face against his neck. "I was testing a theory," she whispered. "I'm not going anywhere. I should have told you."
"I should have waited." He turned his face into her wet hair and inhaled the familiar sweet scent. "I should have asked. I just didn't expect to get hit with it out of nowhere. I knew better. The whole thing is just getting on my damned nerves. That's not your fault. You didn't want to do this."
"We knew it would be hard," she said quietly. She tipped her head to look up at him, her eyes still sad. "It can't last forever. We'll go to court, or the Department will settle. I'll be done with my part of it and everything will go back to the way that it was."
"I'll quit." Andy looked down at her. He lifted his hands to cup her head, let his fingers tangle in the wet locks that framed her face. "If it gets worse before it gets better, I'll quit. I can take my pension and find something else. I'll do that before I lose you."
She smiled tremulously up at him. "I can't let you do that. Andy…" Sharon shook her head and felt tears sting her eyes. "You love your job. You'd never be happy doing anything else. You'd end up resenting me more if that happened."
"I love you more," he rumbled quietly. Andy tipped her head back. "I chose my job over my family once. I chose a lot of things over them. That didn't work out so great. I'm not doing it again. I'm not letting this come between us. I told you that we'd make it work, and we will. If that means that I cash in my pension and turn in my badge, then that's what I'll do."
"You're not an ass," she whispered. "I'm not going to let it come to that. If it gets that bad, we'll reevaluate, but I'm hoping we can handle this. We've come this far with it. We don't have to let it define us."
His thumbs swept her cheeks. She was the optimist. Even when she couldn't see her way through to the silver lining, she would believe it was there. More so than he. They had their moments, where they traded roles, and that seemed to work well for them. They could reach each other and know easily what was needed. "You aren't a bitch," he said quietly. "You're trying to save our asses and we're too ungrateful to see it."
Her lips curled into a soft smile. "I love you," she murmured. "I know I've let my frustration at this color my dealings with your team. It isn't all on them. I'm to blame too," Sharon explained. "I could try to be more patient."
"We can try to listen a little better." Andy resolved to talk to the other guys. Provenza in particular. He would remind them to keep their opinions to themselves if they couldn't remember that she was trying to help them.
Her hands curled around his wrists. When he kissed her, she hummed quietly. Sharon shivered where she stood. She leaned closer to him and let his warmth envelope her barely covered form. She was still wrapped in only a towel. She sighed softly and looked up at him. "Can we call this one done?"
His hands moved down her arms. They were cool to the touch. Her hair was still damp. "It's done," he brushed a kiss across the tip of her nose before he stepped back. He jerked his head toward the bathroom. "I'm going to jump into the shower. Get rid of this day."
Sharon caught his arm before he could move too far away from her. She shook her head slowly as she pulled him back. With her other hand she reached up and freed the towel. She let it fall to the floor. Then she rocked up onto her toes and curled her arm around his neck. Her lips were soft against his. "I have a better idea," she said against his mouth, voice thick and husking. If nothing else, she needed to feel him wrapped around her, lose herself in his heat and chase away the last of the sadness their argument and this day had produced. Even if that just meant his holding her.
"You have all the best ideas," he muttered. Andy wrapped his arms around her and pulled her flush against him. He moved them backward, toward the bed. When her hands tugged at his plain white t-shirt, he let her pull it over his head. When the mattress bumped against her legs, he turned and sat. His arms wrapped around her waist and he pressed a kiss against her stomach. Then he leaned back and drew her with him. When she laughed, a low, throaty sound that chased away the echoes of their harsh words, he felt a little lighter.
Andy rolled her beneath him and swept her hair back from her face. He gazed down at her. His fingers caressed her cheeks. They would make it. As long as they remembered what was important, even when they disagreed, they could weather the worst of it.
"Day at a time," he rumbled quietly, recalling their agreement from the evening they were married. "We can do this."
She wrapped herself around him and leaned up to capture his mouth again. Yes, they could do this. It wouldn't always be pleasant. Sometimes it was going to hurt. She loved him enough to keep trying. "You're worth fighting for," she said against his ear. "Even if you're the one that I'm fighting with. I'm not letting go. I won't lose you over this either. I won't lose us." The two of them and this family that they were building. Their children, their son. It was worth all of the pain and all of the compromises.
It would get worse before it got better. She would find the leak. She was committed to that now, he knew. Even if she weren't, the department wouldn't allow that to go unchecked. Andy had faith in her. He had faith in them. A smile had his lips quirking upward when he looked down at her. "You're all I need. You and the kids. I'm sorry for being—"
"No." Her fingers pressed against his lips. "Don't be sorry for being you. I need you just the way you are. I want you just the way that you are. We can do this. A day at a time."
She was worth fighting for, he thought, mentally echoing her words. She was worth waiting for. Andy shifted against her and let his mouth slide over hers. She was worth all of that and more. She made him believe that he was too.
They would make it. They were too stubborn. They would accept nothing less.
MCMCMCMCMCMC
When Andy woke, some hours later, it was to an empty bed. His arm stretched toward the empty spot where his wife had lain beside him. The sheets were cool to the touch. Andy ran a hand over his face as he rose from the bed. He stepped into a pair of pants and pulled a t-shirt over his head before he shuffled sleepily out of the room. He peeked into the nursery across the hall but found it silent, the nightlight they kept on still glowed softly. When he crept further inside, he found the crib empty.
It wouldn't be the first time that Joey had awakened in the middle of the night, inconsolable or just incapable of going right back to sleep upon being fed or changed. Especially since the teething had started. With a yawn, Andy left the nursery and made his way down stairs. He expected to find Sharon in the family room, curled on the sofa with the baby, but while a lamp illuminated the room, it was empty.
Andy frowned as he walked through to the kitchen, following a trail of lights left on in his wife's wake. The back door was unlocked. Andy stepped out onto the porch and felt the early morning chill settle around him. The smooth wood was cold beneath his feet. Andy glanced across the porch and his face relaxed into a smile. Light was beginning to streak across the sky, gray lending itself toward the blue and violet of early morning. Sharon was on the swing, a leg drawn beneath her, and Joey seated in the cradle of her lap. The foot she left planted against the porch moved carefully, causing the swing to sway gently. The baby's back rested against her stomach, and she had a blanket drawn around both of them. He was happily gumming away at a teething ring.
"Rough night?" Andy took a seat on the swing beside them. When it stopped swaying as he settled on it, Joey squawked unhappily. He reached over and picked up the teething ring that the baby dropped into the blanket and lifted it back to his mouth. "I'll take that as a yes. Little drool monster."
Sharon chuckled quietly. She drew her other leg up beneath the blanket and resettled the baby against her as Andy took over moving the swing for them. "It wasn't bad. He just didn't feel like going back to sleep. He wasn't feeling well." His gums were sore and she was of a mind to indulge him in a bit of cuddling. So when rocking him hadn't worked, nor walking him downstairs, Sharon had bundled the two of them into a suitably warm blanket and brought him out onto the porch. Joey liked it outside, he was content enough to enjoy the early morning as long as the swing kept moving. "We came to an agreement. We'd sit out here for a while if he didn't mind me napping while we did."
"Something tells me you didn't nap much." He grinned as his arm stretched across the back of the swing. He jerked his head and indicated she should slide closer. When she did, he curled an arm around her while she settled her head against his shoulder.
"Well, your son may have provided needed assistance in the matter of keeping us moving." Sharon shook her head and sighed as she settled comfortably against him. "In other words, he woke me up every time the swing stopped."
As if to prove her point, Joey stretched his legs out against her lap and pushed himself back against her. Andy laughed. "You know, we talked about this once. You were worried he wouldn't want to sleep much once he got here." His fingers combed through her wildly curling hair. "I don't think we expected he'd be keeping you awake now, the same way that he was keeping you awake then."
Beneath the blanket, Sharon rubbed the baby's belly. Her other hand stroked over his hair. She smiled down at him, this child that was growing by leaps and bounds. No longer small for his age. "No, that really didn't seem to factor into the conversation did it?" Sharon tilted her head at him and smiled. "I'm thinking about something else that never factored. You and me. The night in the parking garage. Remember it? Jack was already gone, you were still angry with me about the Rick Zuman case. I told you I was pregnant. Next month will be a year. Did you think that we would end up here?"
Andy snorted quietly. "Nope." He looked down at her and shook his head. "If anyone told me that, I'd have checked them into a psych ward. No way would you ever look at me twice. I was just an asshole giving you a hard time." His brow rose and he grinned crookedly. "I am just an asshole giving you a hard time."
"Hm." She hummed quietly at that and shook her head. "No. But I've been thinking about that night recently. I think it's just knowing the holidays are coming up and that is more or less when all of this started. It will be Joey's first Christmas and this time last year, I didn't even know if he and I would make it to Christmas." Sharon looked down at the top of her son's dark head. Her smile softened, gentled. "We almost didn't."
"Don't remind me." He turned his face into her hair and kissed the side of her head. "I don't like thinking about that night." He'd had some bad moments over it, and despite how well it all turned out, the idea of losing them still left him chilled and sickened. "Nah, I never dreamed we'd end up here. Even after we were friends, hell, even after we were sleeping together." He smirked at her. "I was still kicking myself, thinking you didn't need a loser like me. I couldn't leave, as much as I told myself I should, I couldn't walk away."
"I'm glad you didn't." She rubbed her cheek against his shoulder and snuggled closer. She had to resettle Joey in her arms, settle him sideways and into the crook of her arm, but as long as the swing was moving, he was happy. She sighed quietly when she was tucked in closer to him. "I couldn't understand why you kept coming back, but I'm glad that you did." Their argument earlier in the evening and the holidays approaching had her more introspective than usual. She had no regrets, she was where she wanted to be, of that she was completely certain. "I was thinking about that night, and how far fetched all of this would have seemed to me then. Maybe it still is. I just can't imagine doing this without you." Sharon lifted her gaze, smiled at him. "I was watching Joey tonight, and I see you. I shouldn't, not really," they both knew why. "But it's there. In the way he frowns at me when he isn't happy, or the smile he gets when he's excited about something. His eyes are turning brown, and I know he gets that from my father. He looks more like Ricky every day, and logic tells me that I'm only seeing what I want to see, but it's there. He's just like you, and I couldn't be happier about that, but I think about last year and I never imagined that we'd be here now."
"He looks like you." Andy was looking down at Joey, laying in her arms now. He had given up on the teething ring and gone for his toes. He arched a brow at the boy that was now drooling on his own foot. "Oh yeah, babe, that's all you. I can't do that." When she rolled her eyes at him, Andy chuckled. He wound a long, curling lock of hair around his fingers. "I never thought we'd end up here," he said seriously. "Dreamed about it, maybe, after this all got started and I realized I couldn't stand the idea of being without you. But you were still hurting, and the divorce was out of control. I didn't want to put anything else on you. You weren't ready. I'm not really sure that I was either. Not until that night on the porch. My OIS." Andy met her gaze. "I decided I wasn't going to live without you. I didn't know how I'd make it happen, but I'd wait as long as I had to until it did."
She reached up and touched his cheek. "It began changing for me that night too. It was the first time that I wished what we had was real, and that you were Joey's father." Sharon shrugged. "You already were, but neither of us could see it."
"Things work out the way they are meant to. Others don't." Andy's gaze dropped to Joey again and he smiled. His son was scowling at his foot. The look was all his mother. "We'll work out too," he said. "Look at what we've already done, and in only a year. I gotta believe it all happened for a reason. Like I said. You never would've looked at me twice."
"I don't know about that." Sharon fluttered her lashes at him and shrugged. "I might have, actually." At the disbelief in his gaze, she grinned. "It's the gray, pin-stripe three piece suit. It does things to me."
His jaw dropped. Then Andy shook his head at her. "You are so shallow. I can't believe you were checking me out. Remind me to have someone send you to a Diversity class." He paused before adding. "Right after I buy one of those suits for every day of the week."
Sharon laughed and Joey squawked in response to being jostled. He'd dropped his foot. She crooned softly and gave him back the teething ring while tucking the blanket around both of them again. "It isn't funny to tease your wife like that, Mr. Flynn"
"Well, it isn't nice to ogle your husband like that without telling him, Mrs. Flynn." He shook his head at her. "The things we could have been doing in your office all these years. I'm disappointed in you."
Sharon rolled her eyes at him. "Andy." When he looked at her, she shook her head slowly. "I have never ogled. I admire from a distance… and work is still a no sex zone."
"Lesson number thirty six," Andy told their son. "If mom can spoil the fun, she's going to."
Her lips pursed. "I thought that was already lesson number eight?"
"Is it?" Andy shrugged. "Who the hell can keep up. We're old." When she laughed again, he dropped his arm around her shoulders and turned his face into her hair. He was reminded once again that it was his favorite sound on the planet.
Light continued to fill the morning sky. The colors changed, violet to orange as the sun slowly rose. It wasn't their first sunrise together, and it wouldn't be their last. They could live a lifetime worth of sunrises together, of that they were certain.