Consequences

by NotAContrivance

Rocks are turning to sand, hearts are changing hands... Jude's all caught up in a reality show, everyone else's business, and this thing with her and Tom, whatever that is... And then there's Travis to muck it all up. Can you handle the consequences?

25. Forbidden Fruit

Ahkay, so since I didn't see Viciousness (makes me wanna cry, I know) as I was in Mexico, some of the stuff about Tommy's education (I was reading posts about it and apparently that was in there?) might be contradictory, but whatever... Lol, at least I got the fighting right. Lol. Wait, actually, that sorta makes sense, 'cause he started Boyz Attack when he was thirteen... Lol. And he's not stupid, he just thinks he is... I'm not making sense here, but once you learn a bit more about how things worked in Tommy's family (coughHISMOMTHEPSYCHOcough), it'll make sense. It has a lot to do with his mom. I mean, I'm sure you've seen how she gives Jude an inferiority complex, now just imagine what she'd do to a poor, innocent child. And let's just say Tommy wasn't her favorite son.

Seriously, though, you thought Jude was crazy rambling chick before this chapter? She's mental in this one... It's very... random, but I like it a lot. Just warning you, though, I think as of now, this is the longest chapter in the fic. And I loooove it so much. Seriously, this is my favorite chapter. And it's sorta weird and fluffy and kinda funny, I think... Seriously, count all the Boyz Attack! Jokes and the dirty jokes and stuff... It's fun.

Oh, just a thought... Is the whole skull-and-cross-bones-pirate-thingie like S.M.E.'s thing? 'Cause they were all wearing it. Speed and Wally's shirts (Speed's worn that shirt before too!) and then Kyle's wristband. Aww, Pirates unite!

Oh, and since I've been back, I wrote a bunch of songs... Most not so great (two Patsy songs, I think, which is good, 'cause I don't have the lyrics to what she sang in the club in I Fought the Law). And I finally got around to writing "Ruby". Yay! I feel a supreme sense of accomplishment right now.

You know, to get back at Tommy, Sadie should so hook up with Kwest (plus Kwest actually likes her). Though Kwest needs an intervention because somebody seriously has to tell him that facial hair is not his friend and that it makes him look completely ridiculous. Sort of like Santa Claus except not as cool, 'cause Santa can pull it off... Ugh, I wanna rip the mustache/goatee off! Blegh, it looks bad... He's not gonna get any action with that beard. Not that Kwest EVER gets any action, but still... You know, maybe that's why he never gets any air time. That beard is sure ugly enough to break the cameras. Lol, okay, enough mustache bashing. It's gonna be a while 'til the next ep, but at least the soundtrack'll be out by then! ;) Or not. But hey, this chapter ought to keep you busy 'til then. ;)

Ugh. So apparently the theme of this season of Instant Star is: And you thought men were all assholes last season? I mean, okay, we know Liam and Darius are asses. And, sure, we expect Tommy to do something terrible. But jeez, even Jamie and Speed becoming asses? Does Jude attract assholes or something? I mean, let's see... Shay cheated on her and dumped her at her birthday party. Tommy leads her on and then goes behind her back, dates her sister and then has the nerve to cheat on her sister. Jamie breaks up with Jude for a trivial reason and then dumps on her. Oh, and Speed wants his own girlfriend to lose and again, gets all buddy-buddy with her sister. Who's next, Kwest? Kyle? Wally? Of course, I shoulda seen the Speed thing coming, considering how much of an ass he was in the ep they hooked up in.

You can even tell in the Stranger in the House Web Exclusive that Kwest is whipped. Ahem, so here's me reading between the lines of it. I mean, first, he was leaning forward in his seat (he was very interested in the show... and maybe Sadie). Secondly, he stood up, clapped, and yelled enthusiastically, and he was the only one doing so for anyone (he liked the show. He thought Sadie's performance in it was worthy of a standing ovation. When Kwest says anything, it's usually important, 'cause he's not the most talkative guy, so Kwest thought Sadie needed to know that. He also did a big gesture by standing up, showing he is not afraid to express how he feels, even if he's embarrassing himself). Thirdly, he complimented Sadie on her kick (he was paying attention to the performance and Sadie's part. Plus, he has prior knowledge of dance either through Sadie or from somewhere else, 'cause he knew what type of kick it was. And it's a good way to avoid commenting on her singing), which was the only successful compliment she received from anyone. And fourthly, he looked kinda peeved at Tommy (He's jealous of Tommy and doesn't approve of his actions. He thinks Tommy's a jerk for being late and missing her performance, and he maybe knows more than we do. Maybe he wants a girlfriend... or maybe he wants Sadie). And did you see the looks Tommy and Jude were giving him? Jude's was like... Man, you are crazy (She's confused, but supportive)! And Tommy's was like... Man, why are you applauding my girlfriend (Tommy's jealous)! Therefore, I think Kwest likes Sadie. A lot. Hmm, go Kwest. He should steal Sadie away from Tommy. But he can't do that with the beard... Oh, and that was a good look for Sadie... Nice make-up, and she should totally wear her hair in a bun more often! That was also a very nice thing Jude did for Tommy the hole. Man, though, it's sad that Kwest was the only one to compliment her...

Oh, and something you should totally do... Listen to two Alexz songs at one. Waste My Time/It Could Be you go together pretty well. All you've got to do is have two programs... Like Windows Media Player and iTunes. Though it kinda blows your mind a little sometimes, so I don't recommend it late at night when you're on no sleep and jumpy as hell. Lol. I speak from experience, my friends.

Anyways, it's five in the morning, but I'm up because I wanted to finish it and I'm SOOOO in love with this story I make Jude's torch for Tommy pale in comparison. ;) The things we sacrifice for our writing... Anyways, seeing as this chapter is the one I've been working on virtually nonstop since I got back from break like three weeks ago or something... Yeah, reviews are REALLY SOOO appreciated. I put SO much effort into this one. 150. Really, seriously, I think I wrote 4-5ish pages today. Which takes skill, my friend. And I wrote 8 episodes of Spanish summaries, did most of my math homework, and my chemistry worksheet. Lol, as Bruno would say: Je dominate! Lol, why he would be looking at this I have no clue...

Anyways, don't own IS, do own any characters that aren't on the show or any stories not on the show... Do own "Forbidden Fruit", don't own "Me and Bobby McGee". Don't own any TV shows or movies or books that may be mentioned (Lost, Brokeback Mountain, and Oliver Twist, to name all the ones I can think of). I'd go ramble on about Janis, but I'll do that at a later date when I'm less tired... Anyways, thanks.

---

The drive to the studio was boring and uneventful. I only got into about two wrecks. My driving must be improving. Or the cars saw me coming and got off the road immediately. Heh. Whatever. Either way, I was at G. Major with time to spare. I walked in, looking for Tommy, but naturally, of course, I didn't find him anywhere. That would be too freakin' easy, of course. And things can never just be easy for Jude Janis Harrison.

First of all, I ran right into Chaz. He looked pissed BEFORE he ran into me. I gulped and scrambled back up to my feet. "Have you seen Tommy?" I blurted in a single breath. I'm no masochist. I don't want to prolong this torture. He hates me now. I'd better apologize.

Chaz pulled a Tommy and acted Frozen. He nodded, gesturing towards the kitchen area. I hadn't been back there yet. "Yep, he's back there, helping Mason with his Chemistry," He replied wearily, turning away from me to leave. But I couldn't still have him mad at me. I frowned and reached out and grabbed his shoulder. I'm not letting this just end. There was a flicker of surprise in those brown eyes. He almost looked like he wanted to brush my hand off, but I kept my grip.

I took a weak, shallow breath to calm my fried nerves before the words came rushing out of me. "Chaz, I'm sorry! I had no right to say that, and I really didn't mean to! I was in a bad mood, and I didn't believe you. And I'm sorry again... So sorry. You have no idea how sorry. Just... Don't hold a grudge against me! Can you forgive me? Please!" I begged dramatically. Obviously, I was severely mentally unhinged... But what else is new?

Chaz started chuckling and then smiled. I, naturally, took this as a positive sign. It's only logical. Then he ruffled my hair and pulled me into a bear hug. He smelled nice, but not like Tommy. He was so... warm. Hmm, reminds me of my comfy bed. I buried my head in Chaz' shoulder a little bit more and inhaled. He smells like fresh laundry. "It's okay... I missed you too," He whispered, pressing a kiss to my cheek. I smiled. Then he frowned, moving a little further away. "Tommy is driving me nuts. How do you put up with him all the time?" He groaned, glancing around for the subject... So he didn't get fired or something.

I smirked, leaning in to whisper in his ear. "I just picture him naked whenever he's pissing me off," I murmured, and I could feel the laugh coming from deep within Chaz, down his throat. He looked a bit perturbed, but much more amused. I grinned proudly. Sad thing is... That's half true. Hehe. Bad Jude... Bad. Doubt that'll work for Chaz, though...

He wrapped an arm around my shoulder, and I wrapped an arm around his. Together, we lumbered sloppily into the kitchen like drunks. So maybe we were both a little loopy from our long days. When Tommy (I'd forgotten he was helping Mason with his homework!) looked up from the papers, he saw Chaz and looked mildly peeved. I rolled my eyes and plastered on my dopiest smile, waving frantically. Mason gave me a curious look, but Tommy merely shook his head, disbelieving.

I pouted, scowling at Tommy. "Where were you when I was flunking Chemistry?" I complained loudly. Mason was a college student. He could always go for another year. I was not. And I had my parents always on my case.

"You never asked for my help," Tommy grunted irritably, crossing his arms over his chest. Oh great. Now I've gone and pissed him off. Like this was all my fault, you ass?

But I felt a need to defend myself. Not that I could do it properly. I had barely began when Tommy interrupted me. "Only because I..."

Tommy walked closer to me, his hands dropping downwards. "Because you thought that I'm a moron just because I didn't go to college," Tommy practically snarled back at me. In truth, that was a little bit of it, but he's never shown off his "brains". Then again, even Shay skipped a grade. I just hate feeling like a moron compared to hot guys.

Speed, now there's one hot guy who'll never make me feel stupid. Whoa, wait a sec... Did I just say Shay was hot? 'Cause he's so not hot. Seriously. I mean, Tommy is like... a gazillion times hotter. So is Tim, and I've never even really seen his face.

But even the smartest guys can do stupid things. Like take Jamie, the smartest guy I know, for instance. I mean, sure, I realize he was young, but really... Okay, so he wasn't that young. Try twelve or thirteen or something. Anyways, so he was that old and I was twelve, I think. Kat was designing something, so she sent us into Sadie's room for a few things. Now, you have to understand that a fourteen-fifteen-year-old Sadie's room is really a death trap. No, really, it was more like a jungle.

The clothes (sweaters, jeans, dresses, feather boas, that sort of thing) being the foliage, and a dense, thick combination of perfume, pointless body sprays, and ridiculously tropical shampoo hung in the air. It was even a little dark (as Sadie had thrown scarves over all her lights). It was also a gooey, girly mess. So Jamie and I were making quite the journey when we trekked through it.

Anyways, you know how girl stuff, like nailpolish and make-up looks edible? To make you want to buy it and think it's sweet. So Jamie finds one of these things (a nailpolish, in case you were wondering) and since my moronic sister actually kept foods of a similar sort all over her room... Sadie, of course, knows the difference. Poor Jamie drank a whole bottle of very toxic nailpolish. I was barely able to wade my way through the jungle to stop him. I yanked the bottle out of his hands (at first, because it was Sadie's!) and then... When I saw that it was poisonous... I dropped it and screamed, then dragged Jamie down the stairs... We both tripped and fell, rolling painfully down the stairs. And then I ran to the phone and dialed the number for the Poison Control Center that Mom taught me when I was three and Sadie accidentally-on-PURPOSE-damnit! poisoned me.

Sadie claimed it was an accident, and oh, it was just too bad! What a shame! But I could see through her lies. She was a vindictive little six-year-old. But it's okay 'cause I almost strangled her when I was ten. I discovered I was stronger than her. Heh, fun discovery. Jamie was okay. They just pumped his stomach and gave him laxatives to purge his body of the toxins. Not to mention holding him overnight for observation. Poor kid could've died.

Mom and Dad, needless to say, had a talk with Sades. Her room's been clean as a whistle ever since. But really, a thirteen-year-old should know better. Even a thirteen-year-old boy. Especially since I know that Jamie has a very high reading level. Maybe he should've read that. It's a good thing he's okay. I don't know where I'd be without him... I'll try again tomorrow.

I miss him.

Well, I'm not standing around. That's my new motto, you know. I'm not just going to wait for things to happen to me. I'm gonna make them happen. Whether the consequences of whatever I do will be good or bad... I'm hoping good, but knowing my luck... I'd better cross my fingers. That way, it'll only be my fault if it all goes awry. Hey, wait, how is that different? Or, for that matter, how is that better?

Chaz decided to help me out. "He doesn't like to make it public because it'd be bad for his rep, but... Tom over there was a straight-A student in school. Our tutor's favorite," Chaz interjected brightly with a smile. Tom made a face, and I rolled my eyes. I was about to make a remark asking about the sex of said tutor when Tom decided to say something.

He sighed. "No, remember, I got a B in Math," Tom corrected with some bitterness. I would kill for a B in Math. Seriously. I don't get how Chaz is so... sunny now. That must've been some good rehab place. Hmm, you know, I was bored during... I dunno, Quinn's class. Not the music one. The boring study hall one. Anyways, so after I tried fruitlessly to make up with Jamie, I went to the library.

Yeah, I know, the one place the old Jude Harrison would never go. I went to one of the computers and googled Boyz Attack! One of the first things that came up was this message board. It had all sorts of stuff there. Tons of tracks, personal info, lists of girlfriends (Tommy), various scandals, criminal records (Tommy), family junk, failed marriages (Tommy, Tommy, TOMMY!), demos... Pretty much a teenybopper paradise. No idea how they got it all. Even I've never heard some of those tracks! "Frozen" wasn't on there... Some of mine are, though! The ones he's credited with cowriting. Yeah, I know... Weird.

I was looking through the threads and found this massive one on Break-Up Theories. Most of them were the standard ones... You know, Tommy was a prima donna (which he was), the band was jealous of Tommy... There were a few different ones. You know, like, Tommy had slept with everyone's girlfriends... Probably true. Darius kicked him out after the Portia thing... He was voted out... He walked for a solo record... Chaz wanted a solo career. They tried to kill Tommy... Blah, blah, blah.

But I did a lot of sorting, 'cause reading them amused me a little. Anyways, I found this one post that was so radically different. There were only a few like that, you know. I think Chaz would laugh if I told him. Tommy, not so much. The way the theory was presented was impressive. I mean, it took all these minute little details, random things that really don't make a monumental theory, and it... It made them all support this basic idea.

That's what made it sound credible, the heavy basis on fact. Aside from that, it seemed well-researched (unless you've met the guys... Then it pretty much all goes out the window). It was also very well spelled and pretty long. I printed it out. It was really that funny. Really.

Let's see... Where do I start? Well, where don't I start?

Anyways, she (the theorist... I'm assuming the screenname's female because, HELLO, it's Boyz Attack! And you don't really see guys on the web as much as girls... Unless it's a porn site) pointed out first of all that a good portion of the songs are not gender-specific. Which is a pretty good point. However, that can easily be attributed to an attempt at universalization, which a pop song always needs.

Then she emphasized the closeness within the group, especially on the bond between Tommy and Chaz, which was clearly central to the band's success. Tommy the loner, and Chaz the spokesman for the rest of the group. They were the two divas of the group, after all.

Not to mention that Tommy and Chaz were, and... still are... the closest. Not that that means they're all Brokeback Mountain or anything... Though that would be sorta hot. Hey, as long as it's not Sadie... Seriously.

And then it was a bunch of random facts thrown together, like all the romantical writing they did together. Clearly she doesn't realize that they didn't go out on a pier for that stuff. That writing was done in some cramped studio that smells like feet, or on the tour bus, with a girl on each leg, or, oh, I don't know... In Darius' basement, or just sitting in the lounge, goofing off. Experience in the record business kind of rules most of that stuff off.

There was a bit of a story too. Let's see if I can do it justice. Really, I think they should make a movie out of it. It would sell out like you wouldn't believe... I mean, boy-on-boy-action (not the dirty explicit stuff... It'd have to be PG-13 or maybe R, at the most) is one thing. But boybander-on-boybander-action is in a whole other category. And rightly so! Bet there's entire sites devoted to that sort of bandmember slash thing. I'd look, but I'd find some scary things, of course. Tommy's the guy who's had a few sex tapes... So they expect NC-17 from him, naturally. Oddly enough, they're apparently rather classy? I don't know... I've heard things.

Okay... Would you believe me if Sadie ordered a copy off the internet under Mom's name? No, seriously, I am not kidding! She watched it for a long time. It was the only thing that could cheer her up for a while after the break-up (of the band). I thought it rather creepy. When it was on (trust me, you really couldn't forget those moans and groans. Really. I had nightmares there for a while. I knew when it was on), I immediately fled. But I was only an innocent fourteen-year-old then. She only watched at night when she wasn't... Doing whatever. Whoever? Or when Mom and Dad were out of the house. I'm still surprised that Mom never found out about Sadie buying it online.

After all, she used MOM's credit card. And Dad's an accountant! I don't know what Sadie did to that bill, but she worked some magic, lemme tell you. He made one with Britney Spears, did you know that? This one wasn't the one with Britney, though. I don't remember the girl in the video with Tom (the one Sadie has, of course), but I think she was some bendy supermodel. She was blonde, though, so Sadie could fantasize... It didn't show her face a lot, I guess... Whatever. Where was I going with this? Oh, right!

Okay, it's story time, kiddos! This'll be fun. I'll amuse my inner children. Little Julia, Kurt, and Georgia. Not really half-bad names. What a nice dream... Though I like the dirty ones better. Of course, then it really sucks to wake up. Ew, I'm acting like Sadie! Back to story time... Hey, maybe I'm the A.D.D. one, not Speed? Yikes. That's sad.

Ahem! Gather 'round for Auntie Jude's tale, kiddies! No, I am not some crazy old bag lady, thank you very much! Now, where to begin... I am not old! That would be Tommy! Jeez, get with the program! He's the old man! But I act like it! You little punk! No, that is not a compliment! For heaven's sake, I'm not comparing you to Joe Strummer or Sid Vicious! How about I throw you out a window? No, in the studio with Darius. That's your punishment. Or how 'bout Tommy, since you obviously don't like him!

What, you like Tommy now? You've always loved Tommy? Oh, I get it, now you're mocking me and my feelings! You think you can do that! You're serious? Really... Then why do you sound about as sincere as Jamie McAssface? Yeah, I wondered about that too...

Yeah, that's what I thought, you friggin' unruly kid! You listen to me, 'hole! Yeah, I'm talking to you! What, do you think I'm talking to the other kid with blue hair? That's 'cause he doesn't exist! Man, kids these days... So damn stupid! Crap, where was I in my damn story? Damn kids made me frigging forget. Die, you little bastard! Oh, you think that's funny, do you?

Well, that's too damn bad, as I'm gonna have to remove you, okay? You know what? I've had it! That's it! I'm kicking you out. Giving you the boot.

Oh, don't believe me?

Well, there's my foot up your ass. How's that for believing?

Ah, finally. And I am DONE!

Once upon a time, there were two boys who were very close friends. They took the next step, and, long story short, formed a band with some kids from the projects and one boy's big brother. Only the brother dropped out because the kid was getting all the spotlight. No musical integrity. Blah, blah, blah, we're skipping that part. There are a lot of issues there, you know? So Jojo joined the band. Or whatever his name is. Not my problem. I just can't remember. I'm adding my own information from experience here...

Moving on... So the boyz (the z is very important here) grew up a bit and they BLEW up a bit. Their manager was a strict asshole completely consumed with profit margins, which unfortunately stifled the creative process... But that didn't stop the two boys from writing cheery little pop love songs. The kind that make me ick. Only they realized that they were falling in love with each other. Man, how did I manage to say that with a straight face?

They angsted over it for a while, which is how pouting and sulking became Tommy's thing. And they filled their beds with loose young women, so that they could try and forget about their true loves. And they bragged and the-

Okay, I'm laughing hysterically here. I have to stop for a minute because that is so corny I can't breathe! HA! Okay, had to get that out of my system...

But eventually, one night, they gave in. After that, they both realized the feelings were mutual. And their music got so much better because of that. They were each others' muses. They picked up the pieces and put each other back together again...

Excuse me children... I'm dying here. That's so corny... Am I reading this story off cue-cards? Next thing I know, I'll be quoting the song again. So corny! And Tommy and... This is priceless! I should tell Chaz this way. That way we could both laugh insanely at the look on Tommy's face.

Tommy's exploits continued, however, much to Chaz' chagrin. He had a reputation to keep up after all... But he was just overcompensating for... Okay, breathe! I'm not gonna finish that sentence.

Tommy continued to sleep with all of Canada, and Chaz continued to avoid girls and pray that he wouldn't get a venereal disease. A prayer we all need, I fear. He's highly contagious, that Tom Quincy. He's wormed his way into my heart, after all. Eventually, Tommy's playboy attitude pissed Chaz off.

He married Portia, and, well, Chaz was just crushed. It was disgraceful. So that's her theory. Boyz Attack broke up because Tommy and Chaz broke up. Which is sorta true, only not romantically. Tommy broke Chaz' heart. Chaz broke Tommy's heart. Either way. It'd probably be the first way. He's still the heartbreaker, after all...

It would make sense. The avoiding each other and not being close anymore. But Tommy's close with ex-girlfriends, and, damn, I just proved the girl's point again... Tommy's that kind of guy, you know? He's the kind of guy who'd be getting action on a deserted island. Come to think of it, that's quite possibly the one place he'd actually give in and... Bad, dangerous thoughts, Jude.

You know, deserted islands don't seem so bad. I mean, they're hot guy magnets. Seriously, have you seen Lost? So many hot guys on one little island. It's awesome. That's one island I wanna land on, lemme tell you... Or just any island alone with Tommy. That'd be nice. You know, I don't even care if that island's Nova Scotia. Not that 'Scotia really counts... And it'd be cold... I don't care just as long as civilization was far enough away and we had food, clothes, liquor, and blankets. And a medical supply or two would help.

"Jude? You there?" One of the boybanders... or maybe both... asked impatiently. I snapped to consciousness. Lack of sleep's getting to me, go figure!

Anyways, back to reality... Which is so boring and NOT fun. Tommy rolled his eyes at me as Mason closed his book. Chaz was still hanging all over me. I sighed, scowling, as something occurred to me. "You've seen me all over the place with books, doing homework. Did it ever occur to you even once to help me? No! Not even after Sadie told you I got a six percent in Freshman Math!" I snapped irritably, angry at his utter lack of help.

Mason shook his head sadly, and both he and Chaz sent disapproving looks at Tommy. Tommy scowled, his mouth set in a firm line. As I said before... I'd kill for a B in Math. Even at the beginning of the semester. Yeah, I've got a D right now... Don't ask me how. I flushed with embarrassment, and Tommy exhaled sharply. "I suck at Math," He muttered under his breath. A B does not equal suckage!

I shot him a dirty look, crossing my arms over my chest. The perfect snarky remark to top it off. The cherry on the sundae of a fight we were having. I looked at him indifferently, frowning. "I bet you suck," I grumbled indignantly, in a tone that was supposed to be under my breath. It wasn't, however, as everyone heard it. Chaz giggled, yes, giggled! Mason snickered quietly. Needless to say, Tommy glared daggers at the both of them and then at me.

He wouldn't take that lying down. No, wait, on his knees! That's a good one! I snorted at the thought, a smug smile curling on my lips for a change. Unfortunately, Tommy had a similar look on his face. He grinned widely, getting up from the table. We were all waiting for it. The other shoe to drop. He merrily walked past me, getting a coffee mug from the cabinet, and turned around to give me a cheeky smile. "You know, there is one subject I can help you in," Tommy drawled, dragging each and every word out. He poured himself (and myself) cups of coffee and then turned around. He took care to hand me my cup.

His fingers brushed mine. Not accidentally. This was purposeful. He gave me another enigmatic smile, leaning in to whisper in my ear. "Sex-Ed," He murmured huskily as his breath tickled my ear. Goosebumps rose on my skin. By the time I'd understood what he'd said, he was halfway across the room, leaning against the table and smirking at me from behind a cup of coffee.

My jaw hadn't even dropped yet when he spoke again. "I practically wrote the book for that one. If you ever need a lesson... I'd be happy to teach you a few pointers," Tommy said in a sultry tone, pretending to be innocently offering advice. Now my jaw really dropped. Did he just...? He couldn't have... But he... Did he...? I don't...

What!

A few pointers? Is he offering to... to... Give me a lesson, eh? What kind of lesson does he have in mind, exactly? Is it Quinn's kind of lesson? It's just...

What the hell!

Tommy can't have just said that. I mean, that's like... Hitting on me. That is hitting on me. And I have nothing to say! So I'm just standing here, eyes wide, jaw gaping open like some kind of bubonic yokel and... I have nothing to say! I must look like a moron! I swear, I stood there, gaping, for well over at least two minutes before I got to my senses.

It took me another three to think of anything particularly intelligent to say. But I got my plan soon enough, and I reached in one of the jars for a cookie I'd saved for Tommy. They were his favorite. I smiled and walked over to him, a confident, somewhat crooked grin plastered on my face. "Actually, Tommy, I could really use your superior knowledge in Science class... We've just started this new unit, and I'm completely clueless," I began, feeling proud as a supermodel as I shashayed over to him. Yes, I can walk sexily, thank you very much. Tommy peered at me interestedly, leaning against the table.

Tommy raised an eyebrow. His eyes narrowed a little. "Oh, really?" He asked, but he didn't sound surprised. I nodded widely, stopping right in front of him. Does he know I'm not really in Science at all?

I stood there, leaning in a little, and pressed the cookie into his hand. "Yeah." I leaned in so close my lips brushed his neck. Apparently he likes to be kissed just below his ear, did you know that? Hmm... I blame Sadie. His breath sped up a little. I put a hand on his shoulder and leaned up a little so the onlookers couldn't hear. I wanted to say, well, something a lot more blunt, but that wasn't the way it happened. This time, my breath was on his neck. Crap, did I use a breathmint! "Anatomy," I whispered seductively.

Then I abruptly moved backwards, and Tommy fell back unto the table with a THUNK. A laugh bubbled up inside of me, and soon, a peal of bell-like laughter reverberated from my throat. Chaz and Mason joined in, obviously wanting to know what I'd said. Neither Tommy nor I told them, however.

"I'm sure you could help me get a better grip on the subject. I'd really love to practice with you..." I drawled suggestively, winking in his direction. If you thought his jaw dropped before... Really...

The irony of this is that I am in neither a science class nor sex-ed. They don't have that at my school. Well, actually, they teach it in Study Hall. Much less Anatomy. I'd rather shoot myself than do that, personally. And, obviously, I suck at science too.

A moment later, a rather cross Tommy got up from the table. He had popped the cookie in his mouth when I decided I wanted part of it. So, me being me, I did something a bit impulsive. I bit into the part that was still sticking out. Let's just say that our lips were close. Very close. Kiss close. But that was for later.

For a moment, we both just gawked at each other awkwardly. I barely had time to register the feeling our close proximity gave me. A crafty look appeared in Tommy's eyes and he pulled back a little, lips tugging on the cookie. The motion separated the two halves and, well, us... Tommy gulped down his cookie greedily in a few minutes. I stood there, still a bit confused, until Tommy gave me a look like "Are you gonna eat that?" Then I swallowed the cookie slowly. Mm, good piece of cookie. I licked my lips, satisfied. Food is good.

I looked up to notice that Mason and Chaz were giving the both of us weird looks. Mason frowned, getting up slowly from the table. "Are they always like this?" He asked, gesturing to us, incredulous. He was addressing Chaz. Chaz looked hard at the both of us and then at Mason. He frowned, pursing his lips.

"Ask Kwest about that. He's seen them more," Chaz replied thoughtfully, shrugging. He returned to his place at my side, and I glanced between them. Do they know who they are? I mean, I know they do. But they haven't been properly introduced. I frowned and decided to take the task upon myself.

I glared at the both of them, but I didn't really mean it. "Yeah, we pretty much are," I said succinctly, truthfully. Tommy gave me a look. What do those words really mean anyways? I turned to the two guys. "Hey, have you two been properly introduced?" I questioned randomly. They shot me rather surprised looks, but shook their heads. You know, they really are a lot alike. It's freaky.

I smiled brightly, gesturing from Chaz to Mason with a flourish. They looked at me like I was an escaped mental patient. It was beautiful. "Chaz Blackthorn meet Mason Fox," I introduced elegantly, waving my hands about. The two smiled somewhat awkwardly and shook hands. Okay, now that that's done... What next? I plopped down at the table, motioning for both guys to sit with me. I smiled and sipped my coffee. Tommy must've made it this morning. I swear, the guy can make a cup of joe like no other. If he wasn't a producer or a singer, I'd guess he worked in a café. But it makes sense. I bet he's had a lot of practice making coffee in the morning... For obvious reasons.

"So, if I know Tommy, and I like to think I do, just a little... Not in a carnal sense or anything, which I'm sure just about half the planet can claim, but... Let me guess... He's been driving you boys nuts all day," I remarked casually, taking another sip of my coffee. The looks on their faces were priceless. They were wide-eyed with agreement. Both nodded enthusiastically, and we launched into a conversation on... what else? Tommy.

"Yes! He kept making me play "I'm Gone" over and over again. My fingers were starting to bleed," Mason complained loudly. I glanced briefly at Tommy, who scowled evilly. His eyes narrowed. But, you know, Tommy never worked me that hard. Except towards the end of the album. But we were all working our asses off then.

Chaz nodded emphatically. "You're telling me! And I thought he was bad when we were in the band! I had no idea it was this bad..." Chaz exclaimed wildly. Tommy didn't look happy. In fact, he looked downright murderous, but I was the only one who noticed. I shuddered and practically jumped when Chaz put a hand on my shoulder, staring at me head on. "I have a completely new respect for you now," Chaz muttered, shooting me a pitying look.

He patted my hand, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Tommy glowering at him. A smile spread slowly across my lips. "Yeah, sometimes I think I spend more time locked in the studio with him than he does with his girlfriend," I joked, laughing lightly. It was nice having people to commiserate with.

This time, Tommy took offense. He was being all TDS again... Tall, dark, and sulky. He crossed his arms over his chest, scowling. "Well, maybe if you didn't need so much help..." He muttered crankily in an undertone. I wasn't supposed to hear that. I turned to glare at Tommy, and Mason continued the discussion.

"Seriously, if he says one more word about chord progressions, I'm going to kill him," Mason grunted, mouth in a firm line. His lips were white with irritation. Tommy continued shooting us all violent looks. Then I just stopped looking at Tommy. I nodded, knowing the feeling. I wondered vaguely if he'd told Mason to rewrite his song yet.

"You're telling me! He won't stop talking about how the backbeat's all wrong for the melody. And then, to make matters worse, he keeps yelling at the studio musicians. The poor guys are so nervous their fingers slip on the strings," Chaz proclaimed boldly. There was an intensely angry look in his eyes. He probably looked like that in Boyz Attack! But that was all Tommy's show with the others just floating in. This is Chaz' deal, period. He wants control, and there's Tommy, acting like Darius! Uh, or not Darius... Bad. I shouldn't think like that...

"I was so frustrated with him the other day that I advanced upon him with my guitar, ready to bash his head in... But then again, I hadn't gotten any sleep that night... Thanks a lot, Chaz!" I continued, starting out with the dreamy recollection. Then I remembered that the reason I was so tired involved Chaz and Tommy (and not in a fun way!), so I remembered my fury. This time, I sent Chaz a bold glare, sending waves of hot wrath into his eyes. I was like a magnifying glass in the sun, and he was the ant I was burning.

Chaz frowned, looking down, a little embarrassed. Mason just looked at me, confused, trying to figure out what piece he was missing. Then Chaz finally got the guts to look at me... But not in the eyes. I could tell Tommy was feeling awfully smug right about now. Chaz sighed, and his whole face drooped. "I'm sorry about that, really, Jude, I-" He apologized penitently, trying to grab my hand. But I was far too mad for that.

I pulled my hands out of his grip with lightning fast reflexes. My eyes narrowed further in disgust. "Easy for you to say, Chaz! God, you shimmied out of my kitchen window, for crying out loud! I had to sit there and listen to them bitching at me for like... eight hours," I roared, banging my hand down hard on the table. Mason jumped, and Chaz moved back a little, obviously trying to give me my space. Well, that's just too damn bad. 'Cause it didn't help me at all.

Jeez. Men are such asses, all of them. And they think that apologizing will make you forget. They think two words make up for being an asshole. Well, "I'm sorry", they don't! UGH!

Chaz' face fell a little, and he looked sincerely sorry. I didn't doubt the sincerity, or the fact that he was sorry. If I was him, I'd be sorry. I'd be groveling at my feet if I was him. He frowned and rubbed his stomach, obviously remembering the shimmy. I snorted and waited for him to say something. Then his face stupidly broke out into this wide smile. Moron.

"I still remember what you said," He managed to choke out, clearly far too amused. Oh, crap. I said something stupid, didn't I? He grinned, shaking his head, but didn't say what it was I said. I felt a cold chill run down my spine.

"Chaz, what did I say?" I implored in desperation, feeling the fear well up in me. Chaz looked relieved, but that moronic smile stayed on his face still, like he was some sort of warped clown without the make-up. Chaz looked me over, deliberating for a moment whether he should tell me or not. Then he leaned in to whisper it in my ear. Let's just say I was more than a little incredulous. He swore it was the exact wording, but I wished he'd paraphrased.

It was awful. It took a few minutes for the words to sink in... And then I had a heart attack. My face turned redder than it ever had before. I was horrified and mortified that I had actually said that to my parents. No wonder they didn't want me to go out! I looked to Chaz with wide, disbelieving eyes, silently asking him if I'd really been that stupid. How could he find that funny? I hoped against hope that I had hallucinated that entire conversation, but alas, it was not so.

Chaz put a hand on my shoulder, which happened to be bare, as my sleeve had slipped down a little at some point. I felt an involuntary jolt, like a lightning bolt. Not a romantic one... My hormones are... messed up. More like a jolt of me having a panic attack. In accordance with that theory, I sort of started to hyperventilate. "Are you okay?" Chaz inquired softly, leaning in a bit too close for comfort.

I looked at him with wide, horrified eyes and frantically shook my head no. No, I was not okay! "I think I'm gonna faint," I mumbled weakly, burying my head in his warm shoulder. This could not be happening. It just... Couldn't! But it did... I sighed raggedly and Chaz wrapped his arm around me. Ah, that's warm. I relaxed a little and decided to get some sleep.

"Cozy, aren't we?" Tommy remarked snidely, clamping his hand down on Chaz' other shoulder. Unfortunately, I had to lift my head and open up my eyes. I was too tired and embarrassed to glare at Tommy anymore. My brain was on vacation as of two minutes from now. I stared pointedly at Chaz, waking up a little, gesturing at Tommy.

"And then that one makes comments like that," I pointed out, nearly cross-eyed by now. I blinked a few times and looked up at Tommy lazily. He was as usual, a man of stone. Chaz frowned, and Tommy shrugged, nonchalant and unrepentant.

"It wouldn't be the first time he's had inappropriate relations with a minor," Tommy countered coolly. He was so casual about it... Like he didn't even care about Chaz' feelings. Briefly, a hurt look spread across Chaz' face, but then he seemed to have realized something. He smirked, playing with my hair and looking as confident as Tommy Screw himself.

"Whatever, Authority Figure," Chaz retorted carelessly, waving off the insult. He locked eyes with Tommy, who visibly flinched. I wonder what Mason's thinking about all of this... Probably that we're all loonier than a dollar. He dropped his tone an octave and then continued. "You're the one who'd go to jail, after all..."

Tommy glared at him, annoyed that Chaz had turned the tables on him. "Honestly, you're like six months older than me," He sighed, getting tired of this game. Chaz fixed his cool gaze upon Tommy. They just stared at each other for a minute, and it was sort of freaky. Mason and I exchanged glances, clearly not understanding what had passed between them. I shrugged helplessly. I might be friends with the both of them, but that still doesn't mean I understand them.

Then, all of a sudden, the silence ended abruptly. They started laughing and exchanged some sort of macho Boyz Attack!-era handshake. Pretty standard stuff. The tension in the room went down fast. I smiled and leaned in, pressing a kiss to Chaz' cheek. I tried not to notice that part of my lips rested on the corner of his mouth and pulled back quickly. I could feel Tommy seething behind me. "So, C, am I gonna record "Ruby" with you?" I chirped bemusedly.

Chaz smiled slightly. You could tell it hurt a little to hear her name, even after all this time, but he looked genuinely happy. "Of course! The song wouldn't exist without you. Besides, I'm sure Tommy can testify that it was going terribly without you. Oh, and tell you what, if they decide to make a music video out of it... You're playing Ruby, okay?" Chaz declared, sounding excited by the prospect. Man, I've been recording a lot lately. After "Too Sexy Sadie", okay? Georgia will be happy about that... The recording. Because more recording equals more moolah. And more money equals less of a chance of a hostile takeover by Darius, which equals confidence for Georgia and the good studio for me. I smiled back lazily.

People think your life changes when you become famous. And I suppose that's partly true. In some respects, my life's completely different from how it was before. But there are always those people who keep your life from changing too much. They make sure the fame doesn't get to your head... Friends and family. In my case, mainly my family.

Sometimes, it's good to have people treat you like a normal person. Like going to regular school (really, being famous and all, you'd think I'd have more phonies trying to befriend me). Other times, you wish they would treat you differently. Like chores.

I'm still the same Jude who lugs in the groceries. Mom's even made me scrub the floor once or twice (making me feel like Cinderella). That's what she's been doing lately. Make Jude clean for punishment so she won't hang out with so many guys. More like make Jude so worn out she passes out during a set. Caffeine pills, of course, or at least coffee, will prevent that from happening. I sighed and hummed the chorus to Ruby. Chaz smiled distantly, and Tommy visibly cringed. I gave him an odd look. Why wouldn't he like the song? It was a damn good song, if I do say so myself, but then again, I'm a bit biased, being one of its writers.

"What's got you down, Tommy? Still pissed that Nsync beat out Boyz Attack! for Best New Artist?" I questioned warmly before I dissolved into a fit of irrational giggles at the irascible look on his face. Guess that's still a sore spot with him. Then again, the guy's an elephant. He never forgets anything, especially a grudge. So pretty much his whole past is one giant sore spot. So... does he have sore skin then, or what?

Tommy shook his head, a far-away look on his face. "Nope, just thinking of all the things I still have to do to make tomorrow perfect for Sadie," He stated plainly. He continued to think to himself on this and well... That sure as hell shut me up. I blinked, still somewhat surprised that he would be so blunt about it. Chaz rolled his eyes. I bet he's still clinging to the foolish illusion that Tommy's in love with me. I rolled my eyes at the thought.

You would have to be delusional to believe that. I mean, I hate to say it, but if you're in love with someone... It's just impossible to date their sister, period. It's one of those things you just don't do. Really, makes everything very awkward. Chaz frowned and turned to ask me about Tommy's remark. I told him that tomorrow was their three-month anniversary, gag, gag, choke, choke. I couldn't stop that. I tried to explain it to him without bitterness, but I don't think I was entirely successful. Chaz looked a bit surprised, as long-term relationships are about as foreign to Tommy as monogamy. For Tommy, one month is long-term. In fact, that's how long his entire marriage lasted.

He gave me a look that seemingly asked me whether or not I wanted to make Tommy jealous. After bringing up Sadie, there was nothing that could make me happier. I chanced a glance over at our target, who was still staring off into space, to see if he was watching. He wasn't. So I turned to Chaz and nodded slightly, almost imperceptibly. I had no idea what he had in mind, but I was sure it was something good. "At your signal," He whispered so low I barely heard it. His lips barely even moved.

I glanced over at Tommy (still off in his own world) for a second, then suddenly banged my hand down hard upon the table. Tommy's eyes immediately focused on me, and I barely had to time to turn my head before I felt Chaz' lips crashing down on mine. It wasn't exactly what I was expecting... But what was I expecting anyways? But it wasn't exactly a surprise either.

I didn't even have time to kiss him back because about two seconds later, Tommy physically yanked Chaz off of me. This was no gentle tug. This was painful. I mean, he literally threw Chaz out of his chair, and then the chair crashed into the ground. It broke. Tom will be paying for it, naturally. Tom was furious, his face bright red. "What the hell do you think you're doing, man?" Tom snarled viciously, clenching his fists.

Chaz was obviously used to dealing with a pissed-off Tom. Wonder how many fist fights they got in back in the day... Chaz sat up slowly, and Tom really got down in his face. But Chaz leaned up a bit and got right back in Tom's face. I could only imagine what poor, innocent Mason was thinking about all of this. I, however, was completely mesmerized. It was like a scene in a movie... Or a really great wrestling match.

Tom glared daggers at Chaz, who returned his stare. Not that Chaz was even half as angry as Tom. When Chaz finally spoke, his words were measured and weighed carefully. He spoke slowly in an even tone. "Something you can't," He snarled hoarsely, bumping heads with Tom just to piss him off even more. Like when Tommy almost beat Shay up on my birthday. Same concept.

Honestly, that was a great comeback. And Tom had absolutely nothing to say in return. But here's the thing about Tom Quincy... He doesn't always speak with his mouth. As they say, actions speak louder than words. And a lot of the time, he likes to speak with his fists. Which is really sorta worrysome.

Tommy firmly pulled Chaz up by the collar with ease. Chaz dangled a few inches off the ground. For a second, they just stared at each other, not quite knowing what to do. Then, out of nowhere, Chaz took a swing at Tommy's midsection, as his arms were still free. But Tommy was faster. Chaz didn't even see it coming. Obviously Tommy's had a lot of practice fighting... If you blinked, you would've missed it. But in a flash, Tommy punched Chaz square in the eye... The right one if you're wondering. Then, a second later, he dropped Chaz fast and stalked out, slamming the door behind him so hard that it rattled the pictures on the wall.

I shot a glance over at Mason, who was gaping in awe, mouth wide open. Okay, 's what I expected. A minute later, I scrambled out of the chair to help Chaz, who was on the floor, groaning and rubbing his eye. It was red now, but I didn't doubt that it would soon be a spectacular purple, probably within the hour. He glared at me for a second, but I could tell he didn't really mean it. "You know, I got a black eye for you," Chaz muttered, scowling a little.

I frowned, wincing. Yeah, forgot my role in that. Hehe. Oops? I looked down and sighed. "Sorry... Nice comeback, though," I replied somewhat awkwardly. Chaz grinned, looking somewhat proud at the compliment. He got up about a second after that, somewhat sore, but mostly okay. I felt sort of guilty. After all, he was just sort of doing that to help me and cheer me up... And he got punched. This must've showed on my face because Chaz smiled reassuringly and waved it off.

"Hey, relax... It's not your fault. Besides, it's not the first time Tom's given me a black eye and it won't be the last. It's all my fault. I didn't have to make that comment or try and punch him. I should've known better than to push my luck. I mean, after all the fights Tom's been in? The guy could have me flat on my ass in a second if he wanted to," Chaz drawled, oddly cheery for someone who had just gotten a black eye. I snorted at the... ambiguity of his last statement... Then I broke out in hysterical laughter, remembering the rumor I'd read.

"What's so funny?" Mason questioned, still confused and surprised. I smiled and just barely managed to stop laughing. I gestured towards Chaz to start.

"The fact that he just said something that sounded very homoerotic, for one thing..." I guffawed, peering over at Chaz. He made a face, but that didn't make me forget to notice that he was blushing. Mason obviously saw this too as he snorted, clearly amused. Well, at least the awkward tension was gone.

That is so ironic, really. I got rid of the awkward tension by... I laughed hysterically once again, and after a good few minutes of us all laughing, continued bravely. How I managed to keep a straight face for the duration of our speech is really beyond me. "And I heard a rumor that Boyz Attack! broke up because Tommy and Chaz were in love with each other, but they broke up because Tommy broke Chaz' heart," I rambled excitedly all in one breath.

Mason burst into laughter, both at my enthusiasm and the story. After saying all that and catching my breath, I immediately joined in. Chaz frowned moodily, channeling Tommy and practically confirming the theory, which only made me laugh more. He gave me a look, his mouth set in a grim line. "Ugh, I know... My mom actually asked me if it was true! And why does everyone assume I can't be the heartbreaker?" Chaz lamented, head in his hands. Mason and I exchanged glances. He tried to cover up his snicker with a cough, but failed miserably.

"Because he's Tommy, that's why," I said immediately, rolling my eyes. I couldn't help but smile, amused with the whole conversation. I paused deliberately and then continued. "And he got married and divorced shortly before the break-up," I pointed out wisely. No arguing with me there.

Chaz took his head out of his hands, still grimacing and squinting a bit from the punch. "She still looks at me funny sometimes, you know... And then she asks if I have a boyfriend. Ugh. I think my mother actually wants me to be gay... She always did like Tommy an awful lot," Chaz grumbled, sounding somewhat bitter. I smirked. I bet she liked Tommy. Though why she would want him with her son was still a mystery. She had to know about the Ruby thing... She just... had to, especially if it was all over the papers like I'm sure it was.

I giggled a little, and Mason snorted once again. Chaz looked a bit put-off for a second, but eventually he came around again, a grin sliding across his face. He winked at me and asked for a favor. "Be sure to tell Tommy about it. Bet you he turns purple," Chaz suggested good-naturedly. I grinned wickedly.

"Ten bucks says he turns bright red and has a fit," I countered, holding out a hand for him to shake. Chaz smirked and shook my hand, taking the bet. Mason cleared his throat somewhat awkwardly.

"Oh, like he was about two seconds ago?" Mason interjected, grinning evilly. Ah, he too enjoys others causing Tommy irritation. Well, after being cooped up with him in the studio all day, who wouldn't? Mason gave me a shrewd look, eyes hard and flinty. He nodded to me. "So, what was that exactly?" He asked, gesturing towards the door, obviously referring to what had just happened between the three of us.

I opened my mouth to speak, but Chaz spoke up without noticing. His stare was focused on Mason, who squirmed a little. "Oh, Tommy's in love with Jude, but he's unfortunately dating her very fine sister... In case you haven't noticed, he's a bit overprotective," Chaz elucidated, unbelievably nonchalant. My jaw dropped. He spoke as if he was talking about the weather.

Mason's eyes widened in shock. Ugh, man, I have to correct this. Rolling my eyes and shaking my head, I sighed, shooting a glare at Chaz. "Don't believe a word Chaz says. He doesn't know what he's talking about. Tommy is, however, dating my sister... and Chaz happens to have a huge crush on her. Tommy's a hypocrite, you see, so whenever another guy shows interest, he gets jealous. You get used to it after a while," I corrected matter-of-factly, feigning disinterest and waving off Chaz' accusations. Chaz flushed a little, and Mason looked between us incredulously. It's probably the last comment.

"Jude enjoys reminding him of what he's given up. So she flirts a lot... It really sets him off," Chaz explained casually. I glared at him petulantly. Mason smiled at my behavior, and then got up to find something to eat. All the good food was gone already. You snooze, you lose here at G. Major.

I smiled absentmindedly and just about died when the door was suddenly flung open, almost falling off its hinges. He charged across the floor in a few strides, making his prescence known. I hadn't even turned around yet when he grabbed my wrist and roughly yanked me up, pulling me practically flat against him. I think it would be redundant to say that he was Tommy. Chaz shot me a smug look, smirking. He didn't need to say "I told you so" because it was written all over his face. I didn't mind so much, considering I was practically glued to Tommy's side. Not a bad place to be, let me tell you... I couldn't stop the dopey smile from spreading itself across my face.

Tommy moved away hastily after seeing the way Chaz was looking at us. A determined look crossed over his face, and his fingers slid down to my hand, tugging me along behind him and out of the room. Then suddenly, he was moving faster than I could keep up with, so I had to start running. Surprisingly, we went into Studio C. By the time we got in there, I was laughing and a bit breathless. "Tommy, why are we..." I began, but then stopped when I saw the cameras. I immediately stopped laughing and abruptly dropped Tommy's hand, feeling panicked. I exhaled hard, feeling myself droop a little. "...here."

Tommy frowned at my sudden moodswing, though, really, he should've understood why. But, without even asking, he turned to the camerapeople and began dictating. "Okay, first things first, we're never going to be able to write a song or act candid if we can see you. So make yourselves scarce. Secondly, Jude and I are going to need a second to talk in private... alone, so, if you don't mind, can you go outside for a second?" Tommy requested in an eerily polite tone. He sounded impatient, though.

When Tom Quincy tells you to clear out, you clear the hell out. They went out, muttering about setting up and fixing their cameras, blah, blah, blah... The second that door closed, Tom was off, talking again. However, he was also pacing very distractingly. "Okay, Jude... This is the way it works. They're going to be filming us candidly, so you have to watch what you say. We can't talk about anything that might give them the wrong idea..." Tom directed, acting like I was some sycophantic employee.

I rolled my eyes, hands on my hips. "Don't you mean the right idea, Tom?" I retorted sharply, not amused. My anger from Friday flooded back, and I fought to shut it off. Tommy's eyes narrowed, and he gestured to me, frustrated.

"See! Stuff like that!" Tom argued irritably. I rolled my eyes, knowing what was coming. I knew exactly what kind of remarks he was telling me about. But I can't just shut off my brain. I think like that! And I rarely think before I speak. I swear, I have foot in the mouth disease. Not fun.

I sighed, crossing my arms over my chest. No, wait, on second thought, I decided to count them out on my fingers. Just to be sure, I'd say them out loud for Tommy to verify. "Okay, so nothing about when we kissed... Nothing about you being a jerk... Nothing specifically naming Sadie as either your girlfriend or my sister... Nothing about Boyz Attack!... And no sarcastic remarks. I think I've got it, Quincy," I stated bluntly, a wry smile on my face. Tommy smiled back hesitantly, and then called the cameras back in. One person came back in. Tommy led me to the couch and draped my guitar around me, bending down to pick up his own guitar. I reached over to grab my pen and notebook, which I threw open to the page I'd written a few verses to this song I was working on. Somehow my bag had wound up in here... Weird.

Tommy and I shifted around a little, trying to get comfortable on the lumpy couch, and then we got down to business. Tommy motioned to my notebook, his guitar in his lap. "Show me what you've got, girl," Tommy requested, reaching out for it. I rolled my eyes and handed him the notebook. He scanned the precious few verses I'd written, nodded approvingly, and threw it back into my lap. "Okay, now play it for me..."

I rolled my eyes at him. He's not the boss of me. Well... sorta. I began to play the chords I'd carefully planned in my music classes. I sighed, tuning my guitar and making sure the chords sounded just right. "The hook needs a line or two, I think... And I've only got bits and pieces of the other stuff mostly... Except for the chorus and one verse I've got all written out..." I explained, glancing over at Tommy before I launched into the song for real. I barely noticed him nod.

"You've led me smoothly into temptation... I was already all too willing to fall..." I began softly, fluidly. Then I strummed the rest of chords for that verse, and, after that was done, I stopped abruptly, glancing over at Tommy, waiting for a sign to see what he thought of it. But, as usual, his face was impassive, and he was concentrating hard. He frowned for a moment, muttering rhymes under his breath. Then, a second later, he grabbed my notebook and jotted down two lines. He slid the notebook back over to me, and I peered over what he'd written. Pretty good.

"Oh, and change your chords towards the end of the verse to this..." He ordered authoritatively, setting his guitar on the couch next to him and moving in closer to me. I inhaled deeply as he wrapped his arms around me, placing his hands over my fingers and showing me how to properly end the verse. It really did sound a lot better.

With his fingers still on mine, eyes locked, we sang and played the second part together. "I fell victim to that sedating sensation... Here on my knees, fallen, I crawl..." We chorused, the tune taking on a rather bittersweet feeling. Though to be fair, that last line could seriously use some work. I looked at Tommy to tell him just that, but the way he looked at me... I just couldn't. I gulped hard, and one of my fingers slipped, letting out a loud twang. I flushed down to my roots. And they were capturing all of this on film...

Tommy smiled slowly and licked his lips. I smiled nervously and relaxed a little in his grip. He was so warm... I sighed and bit my lip, worrying. Then he leaned his head slightly on top of mine. I sucked in a breath and forgot how to breathe. His eyes bored intensely into mine. "You smell nice," I muttered distractedly.

Tommy's smile widened, and he buried his nose in my hair, inhaling deeply. "You do too," He murmured softly. And then he kissed my hair gently. Suddenly, the door flew open and E.J. barged in. Tommy and I both pulled away at the same instant. A wide grin stretched across E.J.'s face. I think that's the only time I've ever seen her smile. Or it's the only time I remember... Pretty freaky, really. It sort of creeps me out.

She clapped her hands excitedly. "Ooh, am I interrupting a moment?" She chattered on excitedly. Tommy and I immediately shot to separate sides of the couch. We didn't look at each other.

"NO!" We both shouted at the same time. E.J. looked a bit taken aback. Then we glanced at each other, and I flushed and looked away. We were obviously having a moment. But at least I was breathing now. That's progress.

I sighed and looked up at E.J. "What are you doing here, E.J.?" I asked with as much civility I could muster. I realize she kept us from doing something stupid like making out, but still... It wasn't appreciated. Hey, if Tommy shows me love... on the rare occasion that would be... I'm not exactly going to turn him away. E.J.'s smile fell, and she rolled her eyes.

"We are in the middle of something here, you know," Tommy remarked, impatient and rather annoyed. I shot a glance at him, somewhat disbelieving. He gave me a look that suggested I was a moron for assuming he meant anything other than the song. E.J. raised an eyebrow, placing a hand on her hip, and fixing the both of us with a suspicious glance. I fought the urge to groan aloud.

"I'll bet you are," She said suggestively. Tommy stiffened. E.J. rolled her eyes. "Getting some files... Honestly, relax!" E.J. said sharply. Relax? She's telling me to relax? E.J.'s the most stressed person I know. I think she needs to get laid, personally. I gave her a look. Who's she kidding?

E.J. huffed and walked over, bending down to grab the file. Then a moment later, she walked out briskly. E.J. always walks fast. As soon as the door shut, Tommy put his hand on my shoulder. "So," He posed, bright-eyed, "Where were we?"

I laughed for a minute. Where were we? Well, the first verse had been written... Oh, yeah... The chorus. I started strumming it again. "You're the sweetest forbidden fruit, In the great Garden of Eden... It's only your branches that I wanna loot... I am here, eating from your luscious tree, Waiting for the Knowledge of Good and Evil to come to me, to come to me..." I sang the same way I had on the phone. Tommy nodded approvingly, and I smiled. He motioned for me to go on, but I had other plans. I stopped playing, and Tommy looked annoyed.

"Hey, did you save me a brownie?" I inquired with a pout. Tommy knows how much I like the brownies. Unfortunately, so does pretty much everyone else, especially Georgia. Tommy doesn't get how they can like brownies so much. But then again, Tommy hates chocolate of any kind. I blame it on his Boyz Attack! days. They had those poor guys on such strict diets. He would, however, sell his soul for some red licorice. He likes any of the red flavors, but his favorite is raspberry, which is really hard to get. I mean, you can't just go out and buy raspberry licorice. It has to be imported. Eh, got him some for Christmas last year. He hugged me so hard I couldn't breathe. Man, I ought to get him raspberry licorice more often.

Though Tommy's face was turned away from mine, I could tell he was trying hard to fight a smile. He didn't fight it very long. He chuckled and turned slowly to face me. "No," He said slowly, drawing out the word. He was also obviously lying. I snorted and smacked him in the shoulder.

"Quincy, you are such a bad liar," I laughed, smiling. Tommy smiled back and sighed, as if he was unwilling to give up the information. But then he nodded, making a vacillating hand gesture.

"Okay, okay, fine. I'll give it to you... but only after we finish the song," Tommy promised, trying to compensate by fixing me with a stern look. I didn't buy it one bit. I just laughed at him. He scowled, muttering under his breath, "See if I give you the brownie with that attitude."

I pouted. Not giving me my brownie? How cruel. But I sighed. Well, at least I had the next verse written. I dragged my pick across the strings, starting up again. This part was a bit more jagged. Tommy bobbed his head along to the tune, waiting to see what I would do with it. "You gave me knowledge of my sin... Made me wise to see beyond my own skin... Because of you, I'm aware of the life I've been living... It was you who proved to me that evil could win... While I was sitting here with you, drinking cheap gin," I drawled darkly, giving Tommy a wicked grin.

Tommy seemed to like my tone. "I like your tone... It's fitting. But, seriously... gin?" He responded, breaking into a smile. Okay, so maybe he didn't exactly like my lyrics. Well, it was late and I couldn't really think of anything to write. I had been up for twenty-three hours... Naturally, my brain was a little foggy.

I frowned and started playing the chords to "Dirty Old Man". Luckily for me, Tommy didn't recognize it. Ew, why I was I playing this song? It just made me think of stupid Quinn. Ugh. Seriously, and what was up with the hitting on Joan? I mean, she so likes him... I don't know who she thinks she's kidding. I glowered at Tommy. "It was late and I couldn't think of any good rhymes. So sue me," I grunted, narrowing my eyes in irritation.

Tommy fixed me with a look and started counting on his fingers. "In, within, bin, shin, din, fin, Flynn, hen, pin, pen, Ben, when, kin, Lynn, Yin, twin, tin, wren, Zen, spin, thin, grin, chin, been, vin, berlin, begin, akin, wherein, has-been, chagrin, men, min, Kuan Yin, violin, Huckleberry Finn, marchand de vin, Allen, herein, elkin, alpin, Atkins, motor inn, loony bin, next of kin, and heterocercal fin," Tommy stated smugly. Okay, I get it... I could've rhymed it with a dozen other things... And I don't even know what some of those are. And I sure don't know how many rhymes he just came up with.

Ugh, I am so going to flunk math. Tommy, however, didn't know when to stop. "And besides, you can't drink yet," He continued. I glared at him viciously and really wanted to make a good remark about it.

But I settled instead for hitting him hard on the arm and saying with a sneer, "Thanks for reminding me." Tommy grimaced, so I figured it was enough of an insult. He frowned at me, rubbing his arm. My punch actually hurt? Or is he just faking to pump up my ego? Wait, this is Tommy we're talking about. He doesn't want to pump up my ego right now. He does that when I'm on the verge of a breakdown, and then it's well appreciated.

I ignored him and started up again, playing the chorus I'd worked on. Man, I could do this in my sleep. Ugh, I wish I was asleep. I'm so tired... "You're the sweetest forbidden fruit... In the great Garden of Eden... It's only your branches that I wanna loot... I am here, eating from your luscious tree... Waiting for the Knowledge of Good and Evil... To come to me, to come to me..." I hummed, staring out into space. Two seconds later, I had to stop, of course, because I didn't have anything after that. I turned and looked at Tommy expectantly.

There was a thoughtful look on his face. I rolled my eyes and picked up my pen and notebook, waiting to write something down. I stared at Tommy, waiting for some brilliant answer to my problem. He didn't have one, so after a while, I grew impatient and distracted. So I started looking around the room instead. That made it so that when Tommy finally did say something, I was a little floored. The twang of a guitar snapped me out of my daze. Tommy was playing. "The forbidden fruit tastes too sweet..." He began softly, looking straight at me. I felt my breathing speed up, and I couldn't help but feel that he was talking about me.

By the time I realized that I was supposed to be writing this down, Tommy was already playing the chord over again, impatiently staring me down. I flushed for what felt like the millionth time and scrambled to write out the lyrics. Once he saw I was done (as he was peering over my shoulder), Tommy started in on the next line. "I couldn't muster the strength to resist..." He sang in a low, throaty voice. I wasn't looking at him this time; I was frantically writing out the lyrics. But I had a feeling he was looking at me anyways, and a chill ran down my spine.

He obviously wanted me to go next. So I stared off into space for a second. Then, getting a bit of an idea, I handed Tommy the pen and notebook. I launched right into the next part, following Tommy's lead. "There you were..." Oh, crap. What can I say here? I faltered, holding out on "were" as long as I could... Pretty much until I couldn't hold it any longer. My lungs were about to burst from the pressure. I locked eyes with Tommy, who motioned for me to go on.

As luck might have it, by some miracle of God, I glanced up, away from Tommy. The first thing I saw was a giant teddy bear on one of the shelves, hanging out of a box. That was all the idea I needed. I exhaled and took a deep, gasping breath, smiling awkwardly at Tommy. "Bare... without a..." I continued, still struggling to think of what to say. I was tempted to say bare without a care, but that didn't make too much sense. I glanced down at the piece of paper Tommy was writing on. The pen wasn't moving. I focused on the paper. Paper. Piece (of paper). Notebook (paper). Lined (paper). College-ruled (paper). Wide-ruled (paper). Sheet (of paper)! And it rhymed with sweet! "...Sheet!"

Tommy shot me a skeptical look, raising his eyebrow at me, but he wrote it nonetheless. I smiled triumphantly and continued. I kicked that line's ass. I was about to start into the next one when Tommy randomly tapped my shoulder. "Hey, Jude..." Here I grimaced, and Tommy smiled apologetically. He loves saying "Hey, Jude." Says it never gets old. But he's gotten out of the habit ever since I responded by asking him if he'd ever seen the musical "Tommy". He flinched. "...What the hell does that even mean?" He asked, looking confused. He scratched the back of his neck, which is something he never does. Okay, Tommy's acting strange...

At first I just shrugged, but he looked dissatisfied. And we always have to satisfy Li'l Tommy Q., don't we? I rolled my eyes, as if whatever I was going to make up on the spot made sense. "I'm just creating a scene, Quincy... What we're pretty much saying here is that the girl likes this guy who's forbidden, right? And our girl can't resist him. Especially as... There you were, bare without a sheet... You were naked in front of me... Nothing to cover you up... See, Tommy?" I told him, gesturing with my hands, trying my hardest to explain.

However, I was pretty surprised when Tommy paled and looked even more bamboozled. What, is he dumb or something? I just spelled the whole thing out for him. Man, guess he's not as smart as I thought. I impatiently wanted to go on. A rhyme with resist. Okay, I can do that in a snap. Resist, kiss. There I go. And speaking of there he goes... "There I was, naked in front of you? Um, Jude... Where... Where do you c-come up with these things?" Tommy stuttered, looking a bit green with worry.

My cheeks reddened. Oops. So much for it being objective... And not suggestive. Where do I come up with these things! I looked down and did my best to act normal and ignore the remark. I couldn't ignore, however, the fact that my fingers were shaking. Not that it stopped me from starting to play again. This was smoother... "And I could only daydream of your kiss," I cried dreamily, glancing surreptitiously at Tommy while I said this. He noticed and grinned at me.

Then he finished writing. We both knew the chorus was coming next. Though we both played the same tune, Tommy started us out. "You're the sweetest forbidden fruit..." He hummed, looking straight at me not that innocently. I smiled back hesitantly, and then it was my turn.

I cleared my throat, feeling a bit nervous at the way he was looking at me. The way I was probably looking at him. "In the great Garden of Eden," I responded, grinning for some odd reason that was beyond me. Eden. The name was still a bad taste on my lips. Ugh. And speaking of original sin, I felt guilty. Bad, bad Jude. You shouldn't think about Tommy Quincy, a twenty-two-going-on-twenty-three-year-old producer formerly of a huge boyband who just so happens to be dating your big sister, Sadie, like that. He's with Sadie. Not me. Period.

"It's only your branches that I wanna loot..." Tommy drawled, fixing me with a decidedly wicked grin and a wink that seemed out of place, but not on Tommy's face. Great, I'm so nervous I'm rhyming. Well, that'll be good for the song, then, won't it? Heheh. I hope? With Tommy staring at me like that, I forgot the line, and practically my own name. When he was looking at me like... Get on with it, I knew I had to sing the next one.

I cast a nervous glance at my lyrics. Okay, so I was really starting to sweat it over here. "I am here, eating from your luscious tree..." I continued in an entirely too sultry tone for my own good. I was still very freaked over all the attention Tommy was giving me. And then I looked over, and there he was... Still playing and still staring. And he was leaning in closer.

Time seemed to slow down and I only became conscious of two motions: Tommy coming towards me and my numb hands playing the guitar. The rest of me was focusing on his eyes. How could I ever think I'd had them memorized? They were such a pretty shade of clear blue... And speaking of pretty, he was pretty. He kept coming closer and closer. "Waiting for the Knowledge of Good and Evil..." He whispered hoarsely, trailing off expectantly. I couldn't help but notice that his eyes flicked to my lips and stayed there.

"To come to me," I murmured back, feeling intoxicated by my surroundings. There were his eyes, half-lidded and looming bigger in my vision by the second. Pretty soon he'd be... Yeah. I exhaled softly, blinking. My eyelashes felt heavy. I was getting impatient.

And then he stopped a little less than a foot away from me. It was torture. His eyes sparkled with a mischievous challenge. I nearly groaned. "To come to me," He hissed so softly that I could feel his breath on my lips. The message was clear. Come to me. I obliged him, not knowing what exactly I was doing.

"You're evil, Quincy," I mumbled distractedly, only centimeters away from kissing the living daylights out of him. He let out a light chuckle, which I remember frustrated me because it meant I had to wait to kiss him. But I didn't have to wait long, because I started to lean in. But then I decided to turn the tables on him, so I moved my head back a little. Tommy practically moaned. He stopped playing and pushed his guitar aside to grab me by the shoulders.

Then he looked at me confidently, licked his lips and was only millimeters away from kissing me senseless when the door flew open. As did Tommy's eyes as he backed away guiltily. Naturally, it was Kwest, who immediately shot Tommy a look. I could practically taste the disapproval in the air. Tommy looked down, embarrassed at being caught about to do something stupid... like me. I should've gone for it, damnit!

I was furious with Kwest, naturally. I was, after all, allowed to make smart remarks to others, right? "Kwest, please, go make out with your wife in some place that isn't already occupied," I sniped rudely, glaring at him with more fury than was humanly possible. My former hatred of Kwest had returned with a vengeance. Always with the giving Tommy crappy advice and making him listen to you. Kwest raised an eyebrow at me while Tommy hurried to explain.

"We were just working on a song, man!" Tommy exclaimed without even a cursory glance at me. My eyes narrowed wrathfully. I will make him pay. That's the last time I ever save him a sugar cookie. Next time I'll just eat the damn thing myself. Even if I do hate those cookies and like oatmeal raisin and chocolate chip better. He is so lying. Or just hiding behind an excuse. And he sucks at it.

Kwest rolled his eyes. "That didn't look like just working to me," He muttered, not believing one word of it. So maybe the dummy does have some powers of perception after all. Good for him. That merits a badge. You're not as much of an idiot as I thought. Merits a badge? Hey, Boy Scout pun! Two points, Jude!

"Kwest, just shut it, okay! Get out before I tell Tommy just who you've married," I snapped threateningly, in the mood to deal with no such theatrics. I didn't even care if that was the reason he was there or not. I just wanted him out more than anything. Let's just say I didn't need to tell Kwest twice.

He glared at me, but he still wanted his secret kept, so he said nothing. He opened the door again, saying things under his breath. But they were loud enough for me to hear. "Somebody needs to get laid..." Let's just say I took great offense to that.

You can tap an electrical current, you can tap a keg, and you can tapdance. But tapping that? I am not a THAT! And why should he have even been thinking about doing me? I mean, what, am I a piece of meat? Does he enjoy objectifying women? Honestly, that pig makes Tom look like a feminist. So much for Mister I'm-Above-This. ARGH. Ugh.

"You're damn right!" I shouted back at full volume. I wasn't quite sure if Tommy had also heard what Kwest had said, but I didn't care. I was willing to risk it. Kwest, who had been about to close the door, turned back to face me, speechless. His jaw dropped, eyes as wide as saucers. His eyes went back and forth from me to Tommy, Tommy to me.

"Damn..." Kwest mumbled, still wide-eyed. At the blank stares from Tommy and me, he shook his head and stuttered a little, "Uh... She's got good ears." But it was a lame remark and we all saw right through him. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, your little Jude's growing up!" I retorted sharply, directing my remark at both Tommy and the dreaded Kwest. Kwest shook his head, once again muttering under his breath.

Just before he closed the door, I heard him say, "Tom better watch himself..." Then the door closed and cut him off. After that, Tommy and I remained in an awkward, uncomfortable, and almost cruel silence for what seemed like ages. Then Tommy cleared his throat and we went back to the work at hand... The song. Or, more specifically, coming up with the next verse for it.

I dragged the pick against the strings, throwing in a riff or two that reminded me of "Waste My Time". Angry and feeling a bit hot and bothered, I poured all the frustration I had into the next line. "The heat of your skin makes me burn..." I drawled seductively, throwing Tommy a fiery glance that oozed so much sex appeal he broke a guitar string and didn't even notice. Got him exactly where I want him. Now who's in control, eh, Tom?

"I kiss you, and suddenly I'm on fire..." Tommy chanted in a deep, gravelly tone, giving me a decidedly lascivious look that made me (and about a million other girls) melt into a quivering puddle of goo and drove me up the wall simultaneously. I felt very hot all of a sudden. Distractedly, I fanned myself with my shirt, though I was pretty close to flashing Tommy... That's probably what it looked like I was doing anyways. Tommy was sure showing interest.

Then again, it might've just been that it was my turn to go next. My movements were sluggish, slow and languid. But my playing wasn't. In fact, I sped up the tempo a bit. "Your kisses scorch, boy, and I perspire..." I trailed off salaciously, perfectly timing my flirtatious stare with the lyrics. I didn't back down this time. I let out a deep, ragged sigh, the sort of a sigh you breathe on a day hot and sticky with heat and humidity. That was what it felt like in here. Maybe the air conditioning's broken.

I leaned in a bit closer to Tommy this time. I wondered if my libidinous intentions were written all over my face. Lust was sure written all over his. "I whisper poetry, but I'm a dirty liar..." I whispered sensually, directly into his ear, my breath hot against his face. He was very conscious of my presence. Tommy took in shallow breath, a gamey half-smile on his face. He seemed thoughtful for a second, then started playing.

Fully conscious of what I was doing, I gently set my guitar on the floor and fluidly wrote out the lyrics. Every now and then, however, I looked up to meet his gaze. And each time I did, it got harder and harder for me to look away. But the next line was definitely his, so I finished writing and looked up at him expectantly. Tommy grinned crookedly, going faster and lower. He wanted to get this verse over with. Can't exactly blame him. "Around you, I tiptoe around the wire..." He finished, immediately letting the guitar slip out of his hands. "Break time," He explained with a provocative look on his face.

I could only nod enthusiastically and drop my guitar haphazardly. I leaned against Tommy wearily. This whole thing was really wearing me out. I need to relax in the worst way. I glanced over at Tommy, and he seemed exhausted too. He leaned his cheek against mine, but all I wanted to do was go to sleep. That is, until he said something that woke me up like a shot of espresso. "I wrote a song about you for my album," He mumbled, slurring his words a little. I barely understood him. Well, actually I thought I had to have heard him wrong. This process was taking a lot out of the both of us, after all.

I moved my head, suddenly wide awake, to ask him. "Oh, which one?" I asked, trying to make it sound like less than it really was. Tommy smiled at me, pretending to think for a moment. A very, very long moment.

"I don't know if I should tell you that," Tommy said with all seriousness. The illusion was ruined when he snorted a second later. But then Tommy looked at me, eyes half-lidded. He hadn't been getting much sleep either lately, apparently. I gulped at the look in his eyes. It wasn't a lecherous one or anything. Just a lazy, bleary-eyed stare, the kind you usually see early in the morning or when someone's bone tired.

"Was it the one you sang yesterday?" I questioned curiously. Tommy shook his head, laughing. I frowned. So he had written it for Sadie after all. Or wait... Yeah, that was yesterday! Okay, phew there, I thought I was losing my mind for a second. I'd only heard two songs on his album after all, and I completely missed the lyrics to the one yesterday. "Walking Contradiction" was his, of course. I mean, come on, the guy's my producer. I've sung with the guy so much I know his singing voice as well as my own. In fact, I hear his voice in my head sometimes, which, well, sorta freaks me out. A lot.

And when I listened to it... It completely blew me away. I... I can't explain it, but it's so different from the Boyz Attack! Stuff, but somehow similar. I don't mean that it's really poppy in any way, 'cause it's not. It's really a lot more like "Frozen", very rock, yet somehow his voice is appealing enough to put it on a pop station. It wasn't at all what I expected, but it's my new favorite song anyways.

So, naturally, I did what all superstars do. No, seriously, I'm joking. I'm not even a rockstar yet. And superstars wouldn't actually do grunt work themselves. I went down to a few radio stations after I burned a bunch of CDs with the song on them. I had the DJs listen to the song first. Pretty much all of them loved it and immediately asked me who it was. They figured it was my back-up band or someone not famous.

Ha! So wrong. But you see, I've learned a few tricks in my days in the biz. Actually, I learned this one from watching Oprah with Mom a while back. Man, she loves Oprah. Oprah to her is Kurt Cobain to me. Yeah, so it's pretty serious. Anyways, Mom was super jazzed because Donny Osmond was on. Just the fact that Donny Osmond was on was enough of a reason for me to go out and do something else, but Mom forced me to stay and listen. He wasn't that bad, freaky thing with his sister aside, but he told this story. Anyways, he wanted to get airtime a while back for this solo thing of his (maybe in the nineties or something?), so he told them to play this new single that was so different from everything he'd done. So people called in to ask about it because they really liked it. And then and only then did they tell the listeners just who was singing.

I figured the same thing would work for Tommy. About a year ago, I wouldn't have given him a chance either. So after they'd listened to the song and gave me their opinion on it ("Nice producing. Good sound. Very marketable." Pretty much all positive), I told them who it was. I think one of the alternative DJs had a coronary when he heard it was "Little Tommy Q." So I had to promise pretty much every big DJ in Toronto to do a radio interview if they would play the song for a while, not very often, but enough to get a buzz going and then drop it on them who was really singing it. I did this when I had some free time, uh, whenever that was. I did about ten interviews on the spot. Different answers and everything. Georgia would be proud. I'm exposing myself... and not in a dirty, illegal way.

Well, E.J. would definitely be proud. Think of all the work I've been doing lately. The Instant Star Competition, being seen in the tabloids with a new guy each week, Under the Mike, the photo shoots, doing those vocals on Shay's single, helping Chaz with "Ruby", not to mention "Dirty Old Man" and "Too Sexy Sadie". Not bad for someone who hasn't even been back a week. Actually really impressive. Took me 'bout a year to do that much before.

Tommy shook his head, but the silly look on his face tipped me off that I was missing something here. "I wrote that song for Sadie," He swore, but he winked at me and snorted. So I got the distinct feeling that he was lying about it. But Tommy shook his head again, playing with my hair. That feels so good. I sighed somewhat dreamily and let Tommy continue. He fixed me with a long, lingering look, as if wondering whether he should tell me this. But, call it a flash of temporary insanity... He did. "Walking Contradiction is about you, girl," He whispered, twirling a strand of hair around his finger.

My eyes widened at the emission. No way... I can't believe he just. "Really!" I questioned enthusiastically. Tommy smiled and nodded. Not that I was surprised that it was about me. I mean, the lyrics sort of suggested that. With a rhyme scheme like young (me) and old (him), reserved (him) and bold (me... And all the mentioning that it's wrong, yet right, and that he shouldn't want it... Confession/Contrition/Repression. Actually, come to think of it, I am sort of surprised that he would admit to writing it about me.

I mean, some pretty bold feelings are declared in that song. Feelings that could get him in trouble if he actually felt them. And some just freak me out... Like the part about feelings he can't fight anymore? Yeah, that's deep. Maybe he's in deep. Or maybe he's lying... Though he sounds so honest... Come to think of it, he's probably just lost his mind. Yep, that's the only logical explanation.

I was beginning to wonder whether he'd taken a depressant or ecstasy or something. He sure seemed awfully tired and "loving". Then he kissed my temple. My skin tingled for just a second. And then he kissed me again, about a centimeter down from the last time. He pressed little kisses down my cheekbone, but I didn't think that was quite fair, so I kissed him right below his ear. Let's just say that that might've quite possibly been the most useful advice Sadie ever has or ever will give me. Hehe, stupid Sadie...

Tommy kissed feverishly down my neck. Guess it really sets him off. My skin burned with every slight touch, but as he progressed, he became more aggressive. I didn't mind in the slightest. What I did mind, however, was that he wasn't kissing my lips. My lips were blistering, begging for his touch. And then there were his hands...

He ran them through my hair at first, and then his hands trailed across my cheekbones, sweeping across my shoulders, down my arms, and rested on my hips. Everywhere he touched me I wished his hands would stay. Technically, aside from kissing any exposed piece of flesh there was to see, Tommy wasn't touching me inappropriately at all. Yeah, that is sort of a paradox, isn't it? So the cameraperson wasn't really catching anything R-rated... I placed a hand underneath his chin, pulling him towards me and trailing soft kisses down his jawline. I knew exactly what I was doing. Tommy groaned, unable to take it any longer.

I fell back lightly unto the couch, giggling slightly stupidly. Tommy smiled, hands on my waist, and leaned in. I wrapped both my arms around his neck, breathing him in. I couldn't believe this was actually happening... Or why. But that didn't matter one bit. I pulled him down on top of me, so that he was completely flush against me. The feeling of his body on top of mine reassured me that this was real. I wasn't dreaming.

Then Tommy leaned down the rest of the way and actually kissed me. After that, we both sort of lost control. Man, I shouldn't say that. It makes it sound like we did something really illegal. We didn't, well, not really. We were in the middle of a very, very, very good make-out session when, once again, that cruel door opened. Not that we noticed.

My eyes were closed, my hands were creeping up the back of his shirt, and his tongue was invading my mouth. He tasted so good... And I really dislike sugar cookies, not to mention crumbly, stale, prehistoric ones. My mind, however, was on vacation, so I was currently residing in a beautiful world where age is only a number, Tommy had never been in a boyband and was not, in fact, my producer, and Sadie was dating a quarterback and found Tommy repulsive. So, pretty much, it was a dream world so far from reality it's laughable, but it was a happy place, and I was more than happy to be there. And then my beautiful illusionary nirvana of a heavenly dreamworld came to a crashing halt. It broke into jagged little pieces and scattered around the seven corners of the globe in an instant.

"My timing. I'm famous for it." We both recognized that voice and that strut. Portia Mills in the house! Like any man when faced with the prospect of meeting up with his ex-wife, Tommy was freaked. He was even more freaked as Portia had caught him kissing me. It's just weird to walk in on something like that. Though, to be fair, Tommy was on top of me, so she probably could've thought that he was gettin' it on with my sister. That is, if Tommy hadn't leapt off of me like I had the plague, guilt written across his face.

Portia gaped a little when she saw me. She fixed me with a very pointed glance, disbelieving. Really, why is she surprised with me? Hello, she was married to the guy! She knows better than anyone how irresistible he is. For a while, we all just sat there in a very, very awkweird silence. Really, what was there to say? Then Portia pointed to my lips. "Your lipstick's smeared," She pointed out coolly. I blushed and looked down, wiping the area around my lips for any smudges. Then again, Portia was a stylist. Maybe it was something so minute only she would notice it. Well, here's to hoping.

Portia crossed her arms over her chest, looking impatient and as proud as an African queen. She was waiting for one of us to say something. I bit my lip and didn't look at Tommy. I felt... out of place. But I knew I had to get Portia out of here. Ha, and I thought it was awkward before! Without looking up, I addressed her. "He's not here, Portia. Check Studio A or Studio B. He ought to be around here somewhere," I explained quietly.

Portia frowned, and I didn't even have to look at Tommy to know that there was a confused look on his face. But Portia fixed me with a warning look. She knew Tommy entirely too well. And then, a moment later, with a swish of her hair, she was gone. Tommy sighed, running a hand through his hair. I bent down to pick up my guitar. We didn't speak. But I didn't go back to playing the song we'd been working on either.

I strummed the familiar chords, remembering them from my childhood. It was the first real rock song I ever learned how to play. Seeing as I grew up with a music freak for a father, he taught me how to play. Which is kind of funny when you consider the fact that dad's an accountant. I had lessons too, of course. But we never really played anything fun during lessons. I remember wanting to do something special... Something different for my very first guitar recital.

So I sat down with my dad and begged him to teach me a song. I told him I didn't care how hard it was. I wanted a challenge. Dad tried to teach me a Beatles song. Actually, he tried to teach me "Hey, Jude". In reality, I didn't have much of a problem with that. But it was a little too... cute. Plus it sounds a gazillion times better when you have a band. And also, man, that is one wicked long song for a little six-year-old to play. Still, that was the second real song I learned how to play.

I practiced on it for weeks. But then the recital came, and I completely rocked it. I smiled at the thought and continued, surprised at how well I remembered it. I hadn't played it in ages. I took a deep breath, playing through the verses before the chorus with ease. It's like riding a bicycle. It all comes back to you.

I took a deep breath, suddenly remembered doing the same thing before I won Instant Star. To be honest, I don't remember much, if anything, about that performance. I just remember holing myself up in the bathroom before and puking my guts out. I was a nervous wreck. I paced back and forth, back and forth, so much that it made Jamie and Kat dizzy. I wrung my hands, ran my hands through my hair, bit my lip, hyperventilated.

And then they were banging on the door, shouting my cue. I remember feeling so numb as I walked down that hallway. My legs felt stiff, my feet were heavy, but I kept on walking. I felt almost sure that Eden had won. And then I peeked out at the crowd and felt my stomach flip. There were posters with my name on it. People actually wanted me to win... People who didn't even know me. Suddenly, I felt a surge of confidence and nerves. And then the guitar was thrust into my arms, and I was pushed lightly onstage. I walked right up to that stool and sat down on it gratefully. I doubted my legs could support my weight, and my knees surely would've buckled if I'd stood.

I glanced out at the crowd and then checked to see if my guitar was in tune. I ran the pick across all the strings. And then I looked up for one second... And I knew, somehow, that this was what I was meant to do. This was what I was going to do. And suddenly, it didn't matter so much if I won or not. Because I would still be that same girl I was before. The same Jude who wrote songs, got ignored by her sister, wore ripped jeans, and went to rock concerts with her friends. Either way, I'd still be me.

I was, of course, overlooking the fact that even if I hadn't won, someone probably would've signed me anyways. But I wasn't thinking like this then. I was so naïve back then in some respects. But I was so determined. I didn't think I stood one chance in hell of winning that thing. I was so surprised I'd even made it that far. So when I won, I was floored. For a second, I thought they'd confused me with someone else. I thought that maybe I'd heard them wrong, that I was the runner-up, not the winner. In that instant, pardon the pun, it all seemed so surreal. I felt like I was living someone else's life.

But then I looked over and saw the look on Eden's face. And that's when I knew that I had won. And it totally blew my mind. But as they say, be careful with what you wish for. If I'd known then what I know now, maybe I would've said no.

Actually, that's a lie. I still would've said yes in a heartbeat. I wouldn't even have debated it. If not for the fact that I got to perform and live my dream life (well, to some extent), then for all the good things that have come with it. Awesome new friends, a retreat from home, getting paid to do what I love... It's so freeing.

And then there's meeting Tommy... I don't know where I'd be if I hadn't met him. If I won nothing else from that competition but meeting him, it would still be so worth it, just for that alone. Hey, he's my muse, my mentor, my producer, my... everything. And some days... That's great, and it totally works for me. But other days, it hurts, and it hurts me bad. But having someone who's totally unreliable, unavailable, unemotional, illegal, and completely wrong for me as my everything... Is completely terrifying!

It makes it so hard to put your heart in his hands, because there's always that lingering fear that he'll take one look and give it back to you in pieces... Or throw it away... Or tear up and grind it into the dirt. But, no, no, no... No, that doesn't stop me from doing it.

And it doesn't stop me from regretting it every time I do.

"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose! Nothing, don't mean nothing, Honey, if it ain't free! And feeling good was easy, Lord... Bobby sang the blues. You know, feeling good was good enough for me... Me and my Bobby McGee..." I cried out, closing my eyes, letting the words of the song wash over me. It wasn't the most cheerful song on Earth... Far from it, actually, but it was real and raw and true. Unfortunately, however, Tommy and Bobby sounded all too similar for my taste.

Somehow it fit my mood at the moment. Dad liked to play the record on rainy days. Actually, he liked mellow folk like Dylan's early stuff and Joan Baez on rainy days, but when it was particularly dark and stormy, he put on Janis. In Dad's own words, "I put on one of Janis' records when everything's going to hell in a handbasket." So you can guess what I listened to after my sixteenth birthday, after I walked in on Dad and Yvette... When everything was turning to crap in my life.

For one thing, I was mildly afraid of thunderstorms when I was little. Okay, so I was terrified.

But Dad always knew, so when I screamed, he took me down to the basement with him and put on one of her records. And then he'd tell me stories... about everything. About concerts he'd been to, girls he'd dated, stuff like that. I miss that. We haven't had a nice talk like that for a while. I vowed to hang out with my dad sometime soon. Then I opened my eyes, remembering how the sky looked after it rained. That pretty rainbow just stretching across the sky. That's what it felt like, being down there with him, listening to Janis. Relaxing and relieving.

"From the Kentucky coal mines to the California sun... Bobby shared the secrets of my soul... Through all kinds of weather, And through everything that we done... Say, Bobby, baby, you kept me from the cold..." I continued, smiling somewhat painfully. Now the thing with Tommy was completely coloring my vision on this song. It reminded me of him. Speaking of Tommy, I wasn't quite sure what he was doing, mainly because I hadn't looked at him since Portia had been in here. I'd never even been to Kentucky.

It's not exactly some great destination befitting of the Shay tour. Generally when you hit the Midwest, you go to Detroit, Chicago, St. Louis, Denver, Minneapolis/St. Paul, some town in Ohio, maybe Kansas City. Well, anyways, let's just say that Shay wasn't into Ohio, or Minneapolis. In fact, we stayed in Kansas City one night on our way to Denver, and we only stayed in Denver one night on our way to California. We didn't spend very long in the U.S. A little more than a month.

Spent about a month touring Europe. It's easier there, because everything's so much closer. The other month was spent in random places, like Tokyo (a whole week there), and other big cities. Went to Bangkok, that was pretty cool. Wild, but cool. Except for Shay acting like a total... There's not a word to describe how weird he was. No, weird's not the word for it. He is an ass and a rat bastard to say the least. Ugh, you know what, I am ruining a perfectly good song by thinking about Shay-Shay.

"One day up near Salina snowed... I let him slip away. But he was looking for that home, and I hope he finds it... But I'll trade on a mile of tomorrows, for a single yesterday... To be holding Bobby's body next to mine," I crooned intensely, feeling the emotions wash over me. It's odd, realizing that I knew exactly what the songwriter meant. Or, at least, that's how I felt. This time I felt Tommy's stare burning into my face, but I didn't give him the satisfaction of seeing me look back. Even if I would trade on a mile of tomorrows for a single five minutes ago. Or however long ago that had been.

I dragged the pick across the strings harshly, feeling a bit more spirited and fired up. I nodded my head back and forth, shaking my hair around wildly. I let my hair fall over my face, covering it, hiding it. My ruby locks skimmed the surface of my guitar, swishing around a little. My hair was like a protective silken curtain, soft but strong, kind of like the curtains you see in theaters. It was hiding me from the world, protecting me from Tommy's pervading stare. "Freedom's just another word... for nothing to left to lose! Nothing, that's all that Bobby left me! Yeah, feeling good was easy, Lord! Bobby sang the blues. I said feeling good was good enough for me... Good enough for me and my Bobby McGee..." I snarled loudly, sounding quite a bit like Janis herself.

I strummed the chords absently, softly, throwing my hair back, and then I kicked up the tempo a bit, playing faster and faster. Kris Kristofferson is a brilliant songwriter. "Bobby McGee, yeah... Hey now, Bobby McGee, yeah! Hell, I called him my lover... I called him my man! I said I called him my lover! I do the best that I can! I say now, come on Bobby now... Come on Bobby now... Come on Bobby McGee, yeah!" I chanted, finishing the song with a bang and a flourish.

I panted, smiling, and gently tapered off the chords. I ran a hand through my hair, suddenly feeling like putting it up in a ponytail. But, since I never wear my hair in a ponytail, I didn't have a rubber band on me. Hmm, I'll just ask Tommy. I turned to face Tommy and wound up swallowing hard. Had he always been this close?

Well, considering that only seconds ago he was all over you... DUH! You don't have to be mean, you know! Don't listen to her... She just wants Tommy bad. Ba-a-ad. So she's considerably frustrated. And not to be rude here, but you're considerably insane...

I'm talking to myself in my head like I have more than one person trapped up in there. Well, you're just having a personality crisis, my dear. Your separate personas are just duking it out because you're really very frustrated about this whole thing with Tommy and your non-relationship with the ever-mysterious Tim. To put it simply... You just want some action. And, honestly, girl, I think you need some.

And who are you, my shrink?

Just a concerned voice who enjoys helping out confused, angst-ridden souls.

Then why don't you go bother Tommy instead?

Because he's had some severe brain damage and he would just assume he was imagining things and force me out. The boy is awfully good at pretending things didn't happen.

You do realize who you're talking to, right?

Oh, right...

WHAT AM I DOING? I am having a conversation with a freaky side of myself in my head. IN MY HEAD. How demented do you have to be to...? On second thought, don't answer that. I already know, and it's mighty messed up. Ugh, and they say that I "need some action". When did I become Sadie?

Well, you are mad that Tommy doesn't finish what he starts... There's that "you" again! No, I refuse! I'm not going to fall to pieces and lose my mind because Tom's a moron. Honestly, woman, get a hold of yourself! Okay, that's it. I just need more sleep.

I turned to Tommy once again, and sighed. He looked over at me expectantly, lips stretched thin in a wan smile. His intense eyes bored into me gently, but deeply, penetrating... Seeing right down to who I was at heart. I felt uncomfortably bare, and found myself wishing I could close the opening in my eyes. Does he know how I really feel about him? I mean, he has to, right?

You'd have to be a blind, deaf, demented, drunk drool monkey to not see how I feel about Tommy. But here's the real question... How does Tommy feel about me? Weighty things to ponder when you're so exhausted. I felt like... Like if I closed my eyes, I might never, ever open them again. I would be like Sleeping Beauty and sleep for the rest of eternity. Which would be nice, to tell the truth.

I blinked sleepily, clutching the neck of my guitar as if I was afraid it would slip away from me like so much else had. "I'm so tired, Tommy," I wound up murmuring, leaning back into the couch, burrowing my head in it. It was soft, I suppose, but sleeping sitting up is so painful. Tommy nodded, staring out into space for a solid minute. His lips formed a tight line, and he looked briefly determined, ready to fight something.

But then his eyes drooped and grew sad. His lips relaxed, and his brow furrowed. So much for him being Mr. Botox. Then Tommy too leaned back into the couch, turning to look at me. Our eyes met, and I saw understanding there. I found myself noticing all sorts of random things about him that I had never noticed before. It's amazing what you see when you take a second look, when you finally see beneath the polished veneer. You can see the cracks in the "perfect" painting; the world as it is, not as you imagine it to be. Everything isn't as rosy as it seemed from behind those blinding tinted glasses.

I saw so much I'd never seen before.

Like the hints of dark circles under his eyes. A few, faint wrinkles from squinting. The thinness of his cheeks. How his skin was lacking its usual color. A spot he'd missed shaving. The bluish veins on his arms, all-too visible. Thin white lines on his wrists. A chicken pox scar at the base of his neck. The callouses on his hands. The way his shirt stretched over the taught muscles that lay underneath.

And it was then that I realized that we were both equally exhausted from working and fighting and slaving away miserably. Tommy moved his head towards mine. Too close, of course, but it felt so good and right. Not that he was doing anything. "Me too," He whispered, so close that I closed my eyes and could still feel his breath on my cheeks. But I had to be strong. So I forced myself to open my eyes and tried my best to rip my head off the soft couch. It didn't go as well as I'd hoped. I sighed raggedly and then yawned softly. Tommy pulled himself up and walked over to the storage. Well, that was sure sudden...

But I'd done enough pondering over Tommy Quincy to last me two lifetimes. I've given up on trying to understand him and the bizarre motives (whatever the hell they might be) he has for doing what he does any further than I do already. I mean, if I'm the girl that understands him the most and I... don't get him at all... Then what does that say about the other girls? That they don't even try and see beyond the image and the reputation? So I resigned myself to my curiosity and leaned back against the couch, eyes fixed on the ceiling intently. And then the guitar slipped out of my fingers... And I let it. I didn't even bother to retrieve it. I was too weary for even the thought of picking it up, much less playing it.

A few moments later... Or maybe an eternity of moments later... I don't know. Time was acting funny... Tommy walked over, patched-up, threadbare quilt in hand. I looked at him slightly indifferently, wrinkling my nose just a little. He sat down at the head of the couch somewhat awkwardly, as I was in his way. Then he held the blanket between us like a peace offering. His gaze was soft and clear. "We sleep," He mumbled simply, as means of an invitation.

A moment later, he made a sweeping motion, gesturing for me to come over to his side. I rose and waited at the side of the couch, but then he also got up. I felt like we were going around in circles over and over again. Some vicious cycle this is. He lightly pushed me down unto the couch, gently covering me with the blanket. I kicked off my shoes, and Tommy did the same. I slid over to make room for him and he got under the quilt with me.

Mind you, this is not a wide couch. The couch is barely wide enough for Tommy, let alone me and Tommy. Because of this, I wound up laying pretty much on top of him. Not that I minded... not even one bit. He was so warm and alive... And he smelled so amazing. So I just buried my face in his chest... The best pillow I've ever had. Within seconds, I was fast asleep.

I don't know how long we were asleep, but we were both awakened by the door suddenly slamming open. I opened my eyes to see Georgia leaning heavily against the door. Tommy tensed, and I knew he was awake. We exchanged glances. Somehow, Georgia still didn't notice us. I wasn't complaining. Explaining this one would be unbelievably awkward.

In fact, Georgia fumbled around behind her back, locking the door with a click. Then she sighed, withdrawing her hand and slid slowly down the door. She wound up leaning against the door, arms pressing her knees to her chest. Georgia took a few deep breaths, trying futilely to calm herself down, but she only wound up hyperventilating. Finally, she buried her face in her hands and burst into quiet tears.

That's when I began to feel perturbed. Georgia was so strong, and here she was, breaking before my eyes. I felt a rush of sympathy for her, and I knew I had to do something about it. I lazily trailed my hand down Tommy's chest and pushed myself off of him. I slowly got up, fixing the blanket around him, making sure that he wouldn't follow me. This was a girls only thing. I hesitantly made my way over to the sobbing Georgia, trying to be quiet so that I didn't scare her off. I sat down next to her and lightly put my hand on her shoulder.

Predictably, she jumped and rocketed away from me. I was surprised at how she looked. Georgia always had it together, and now... She wasn't. She just looked so sad. Her eyes were red, her mascara was ruined, and silent tears still made their way down her cheeks. She was trying to stifle her sobs, but wound up hiccuping instead. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't know anyone was... in here," Georgia sputtered despondently, looking down, ashamed.

I hurt for her. What had happened? If Georgia "Tough-as-Nails" Bevans was crying, it had to be something big. I wrapped an arm around her, much like she had on my sixteenth, when I was a sobbing mess. She was the one who took me home. One of the few people still left there other than Tommy and Floyd the janitor. "Shh, it's okay, G..." I murmured quietly.

Georgia only cried harder, screwing her eyes shut tight. I frowned. Had I said something wrong? "Georgia, what's wrong?" I asked softly. Georgia opened her eyes, taking a deep breath, trying to stop the sobs that wracked her body. After a few minutes of this, she wiped her eyes and looked at me. She took another deep breath and started to speak.

"It's my sister..." She began. I nodded encouragingly, knowing just how she felt. But there had to be more to it. These weren't just tears of frustration. They were tears of betrayal, tears of heartbreak. Georgia sighed, running a hand over her face. "My whole life it's always been Paulina, Paulina, Paulina. She's always been the prettier one, the richer one, the more famous one..."

I smirked, trying to lighten the mood. "...The sluttier one," I remarked flippantly. Georgia laughed in spite of herself. But I knew how she felt. It was sort of like that with me and Sadie. She was prettier, smarter, more well-liked, luckier with boys... She got everything she wanted. And that was how Georgia felt.

"She's a supermodel, spokesmodel, actress, and fashion designer. She's loaded; she has a ridiculously young boyfriend, and she still wants what I have... Why does she always want what I have? I don't have much, and I've had to fight for it so hard. And she wants what I've got... She always gets what she wants. And now she says she wants to be a singer. She wants me to sign her to the label. She's walking around, making criticisms, bossing people around... Acting like she owns the place! She made me an offer today. For the label. She said she was asking nicely, and that if I didn't give it to her... She'd just take over. The label, it's all I have... Music is my life, my passion! And she wants to take that away from me!" Georgia sobbed, talking so fast and so angrily that her words all blurred together, almost incomprehensible.

She banged her fist against the door frustratedly, making a loud, tinny sound. That was horrible. I might not think the best of my sister, but I could never see her being so cruel. Aside from that, Sadie can't sing, so she wouldn't move any units anyways. I knew that Sadie wouldn't take music from me, just like she couldn't quite tear Tommy out of my life. And I was glad to know that somewhere, deep down in her heart, she still loved me, and we were still sisters. I nodded, but felt there was more to it than just the label. More to it than just the bitterness.

I bit my lip, not quite knowing what to say. I sighed and looked at her penetratingly. "But there's more to it than that," I prodded. Georgia sniffled and nodded. I knew it. Georgia sighed again and covered her eyes. When she spoke, it was in a muffled whisper.

"I walked in on my sister and Darius... In my office," She mumbled, peering through her fingers. Ah... That explains it. Well, I know how that feels... All too well, I'm afraid. I nodded, frowning. I patted her on the shoulder. I get why Darius would do that. And, sure, I get why Paulina would do that. But in her office? That's just tacky.

"Been there... But don't sweat it, Georgia. We won't let Paulina get the place. We'll all help you. I can honestly tell you we'd all rather quit than work with that skank. And as for the Darius thing... Take it from someone who knows... Just because he screws around with your sister doesn't mean his feelings towards you have changed any... And trust me, G, he has feelings for you," I explained, trying to cheer her up and looking her straight in the eye.

Georgia blinked, somewhat confused. I glanced over at Tommy, hoping he hadn't heard that. But Georgia gave me a sly look, and I remember that I'd declared that Tommy was dating my sister at that business meeting Friday. Wow, that seems so long ago. Hehe, oops. But Georgia seemed to perk up after that. "You think?" She questioned thickly. I smiled and nodded.

"I know. From lips of the man himself, I swear," I stated honestly, reassuring her. I even saluted her so she got the fact that I meant it. Actually, okay, that just made her laugh. Okay, I'll admit that I look silly... I'm that mature, yeah... Or immature...

She sniffled and managed a weak smile. I smiled back and stood up, taking my arm off her shoulder. I pulled her up and patted her on the shoulder. I leaned in conspiratorially, winking at her. "Just say the word and I'll kick her anorexic ass for you, okay?" I offered brightly.

Georgia laughed and shook her head. She rubbed her eyes, smiled faintly, and went out the door bravely. I sighed and walked back over to the couch. Wordlessly, Tommy and I both picked up our guitars and started playing. We hadn't been working for far too long.

"You're the sweetest forbidden fruit... In the great Garden of Eden... It's only your branches that I wanna loot... I am here, eating from your luscious tree... Waiting for the Knowledge of Good and Evil... To come to me, to come to me..." We sang the words, but they rang out empty in the air. What can I say... I was more than a little distracted. It was just one thing after another, you know? I sighed and picked up my notebook.

Tommy looked pensive for a moment, and then he played a chord and came up with a line to get me started. "It's addicting, that seductive taste..." He drawled, concentrating on a random space in the room. The notes were slow and languid. Apparently he was feeling the apathy too.

I took a breath and joined in, playing a sweet tune. "Makes the world such a different place," I chanted, somewhat dazed. It was true too. I sighed dreamily, maybe as if to prove my point. It's not like I was even looking at Tommy. I was just staring out blankly into space, looking at the weird and random things in the room. The world was a strange, strange place.

I didn't even pause to breathe before the next line. "And I'm seeing visions that I can't erase..." I murmured as a flash of me kissing Tommy hit me once again. It reminded me of my birthday. I'd gotten flashes like that then. I wish I could just forget that like Tommy does. But I'm not like Tommy. I feel and I bleed and I cry. I ran a hand through my hair and finally glanced at Tommy.

Tommy smiled slightly. He thought for a minute and fixed me with a determined look. Then he started playing and gave me an intense look. "In the end, all my best efforts are a waste..." He murmured, hinting at something that made me flush. So I had no choice but to look down and write the verse. We didn't need any other verses. Just the chorus twice would suffice. With that joyous thought in mind (and the prospect of getting my brownie), I immediately launched into the chorus.

"You're the sweetest forbidden fruit, In the great Garden of Eden... It's only your branches that I wanna loot... I am here, eating from your luscious tree... Waiting for the Knowledge of Good and Evil... To come to me, to come to me," I rambled, saying my words so fast it almost constituted a rap. Tommy gave me a quizzical look, but I just shrugged it off, coming to the final verse. After this I was done, I got to have a brownie. I was so excited.

I started playing faster, louder, more enthusiastically. Brownie, here I come. And no, Tommy, with all that's happened, I still haven't forgotten! You may be distracting... Incredibly so, really... But you cannot distract me from my food. I think he'd like hearing that, after all his bulimic, calorie-counting girlfriends. I smiled, feeling giddy from the sugar rush that was soon to ensue.

"You're the sweetest forbidden fruit... In the great Garden of Eden... It's only your branches that I wanna loot... I am here, eating from your luscious tree... Waiting for the Knowledge of Good and Evil... To come to me, to come to me... To come to me, to come to me..." I sang, a smile stretched from ear to ear across my face. Okay, so it didn't sound as sultry as it had before, as it was supposed to be... But I can't just ooze sex appeal 24-7. I'm sure Tommy'll coax it out of me once we get in the studio, though.

And with that and a few more riffs, I was pretty much done. Tommy smiled approvingly, giving me a thumbs-up. I felt my grin widen, though, really, why was I so happy? Oh, yeah, the brownie. I immediately dropped the guitar and all pretenses. "Where's my brownie, Quincy?" I implored, holding out my hand.

Tommy snorted, frowning and plastering on a pensive look, like he didn't want to tell me. But I knew how to work him. I pouted, letting my eyes well with tears. I tried as hard as possible to make myself look like a poor little hungry orphan girl. Seriously, if you threw me in the Industrial Revolution, I would've been Oliver-Olivia Twist. And that reminds me, what the hell kind of last name is Twist?

Honestly, couldn't think of something better? Like, oh, I don't know... Smith, Brown, Thomas, Taylor, Tyler, Tremoranton... Okay, so I completely made that last one up. I mean, Twist is just a pun in the making... A cruel Twist of fate... A Coke with a lemon Twist. Everybody do the Twist... You see what I mean?

Tommy can never resist a good pout. He rolled his eyes, sighed playfully, and relented. For a moment, he disappeared so that I couldn't even see what he was doing. He emerged with a plate bearing a brownie and a lemon bar. And not those measly little portions we peons get (isn't peon a funny word? I always thought it should be pee-on instead...). They were the big portions that only the big shots like Tommy and Georgia got. Normally E.J. would be included in this, but she's always on a diet of some sort. Though why she's dieting is a mystery to me. The woman is as skinny as a rail.

My eyes grew wide. There were no words to express how ecstatic I was. In fact, I rocketed up from the couch as if my jeans were filled with rocket fuel. Immediately, I launched into a full-on bear hug, squeezing Tommy so tight he could barely breathe. I was surprised he didn't drop the plate. "A brownie AND a lemon bar? Do you have any idea how much I love you right now?" I exclaimed enthusiastically, practically jumping up and down with joy.

A slow smirk made its way across Tommy's face. I knew he was going to make another smug remark, but I was ready for it this time. Tommy pulled back only slightly. "I think I have some idea..." He replied with a wink. This time I was the one to smirk. I'd just gotten a wonderful idea.

I raised an eyebrow, giving him an appraising look. "How 'bout I show you?" I offered with a wink. That priceless look came across Tommy's face again. His eyebrows shot up, but then he mellowed out a little. He fixed me with a curious look, waiting to see what I would do. I'd forgotten that I'd bought him some licorice a while back. It was in my bag, so I walked over and got it. I couldn't keep the smug look off of my face as I handed him the licorice.

Tommy immediately hugged me, but not so hard, considering he was still holding my food. He still smells good. I was about to say something when, once again, the stupid door opened. This time it was another all-too familiar boybander. The look on Chaz' face... Really, and I thought Tommy was smug!

"Well, well, well... What do we have here?" Chaz drawled, an eerily predatory look on his face. Okay, now I was sorta creeped out. Tommy scowled at Chaz. Man, his eye did look bad, though. I rolled my eyes. Of course he thinks we're up to something "romantic". We were a while ago. But Tommy and I kissing does not romance make. I mean, just 'cause he kisses me doesn't mean he's in love with me. It just means that he can't resist my luscious sixteen-year-old bod.

And, really, who can? Ugh, I'd never say anything like that... If I did, you'd have to deflate my head. It's too ostentatious and too... Tommy... for my tastes. Really, I'm nobody special, so I can't afford to be cocky about it. Since neither of us really had an idea what was really going on. But that happens a lot with Tommy and me, so much that it's become pretty much normal. I realize that makes absolutely no sense, but we're two very volatile people in a very crazy world.

"Tommy and Jude caught in the act..." Chaz taunted, looking wildly amused. I think this is his form of payback for Tommy hitting him. Plus, Tommy can't hit him now if he acts like an ass because it'll make him look bad on camera. Points for Chaz! So, hmm, apparently Chaz was the brains behind Boyz Attack! Considering he dated a thirteen-year-old, you'd really think otherwise.

But hey, it could be worse. Jerry Lee Lewis married his thirteen-year-old cousin. I mean, let's see, there you have inbreeding/incest AND then the pedophilia it supports. That completely ruined his career, which I find ridiculous, considering that it's legal to marry your cousin in like 20 states. I was bored one day, and I wanted to figure out why Americans are so dumb. Nah, just kidding. Really, though, it would explain a few things... Hmm, I wonder if you can marry your cousin here.

Not that I'm thinking about it because A. Eeeeeeeew. That's nasty, B. Hmm, dating someone who already may have a quarter of the same DNA (Wow, guess I did learn something in Bio)... Kinda creepy, and C. All of my cousins are girls. I think... If I do have any boy cousins, we never see them, they're babies, or probably ugly. Hey, it's not like Uncle Greg's even remotely easy on the eyes. Blech. But Uncle Greg teaches Algebra, so I might be a little biased anyways. Hmm, my cousins will probably be home when I get there. Cool.

Man, it's been ages since I've seen them. Tommy almost immediately pulled away. "It's not what it looks like!" He proclaimed embarrassedly. Okay, but jetting away from me and saying something like that sort of refutes that statement, don'tcha think? Chaz raised an eyebrow, not buying it for even two seconds. I mean, come on, it's Chaz. Is he really one to chastise Tommy for, uh, touching me inappropriately. And that really wasn't so inappropriate. It wasn't like he was feeling me up or anything.

"Oh, so then what are you doing?" Chaz posed, fixing Tommy with a curious look. Aww, look at Chaz, acting all protective-like. Doesn't he know that's Tommy's job? Oh well, it's funny to see Chaz act like he could beat Tommy up. 'Cause he really can't. Though the boy fight is amusing.

"Well, he got me a brownie, so I gave him some licorice. It was a thank-you, stupid," I explained, rolling my eyes at their stupidity. Mm, food is really the way to my heart. Most girls won't admit that, but, really, the way to my heart is through my stomach. Which means Tommy's already won my heart like twelve billion times by ordering from the Chinese place I like, giving me that cake he made, saving me a brownie and a lemon bar, using the brand of coffee I like, and fixing it just the way I like it. Not that I'm counting or anything. Anyways, so I promptly bit into the brownie for emphasis and it was... Perfect. Not too mushy, but just chewy enough on the outside and chocolatey enough... Mm, I even like the nuts, and I'm not a nut fanatic.

I must've missed something, probably one of those "Oh, yeah right" looks Chaz liked to throw at Tommy, because I was closing my eyes to savor the flavor. And what a good flavor it was. Damn, I love me some G. Major brownies. They should give this baker a raise and then a one-hundred percent tip. And you know what, I don't care that they don't tip bakers. They should! Anyways, he made some remark I didn't quite catch.

That, of course, didn't mean that I couldn't make a comeback. "You've obviously never had the brownies," I moaned, eating each bite carefully, so that I could taste brownie for as long as possible. I opened my eyes suddenly and saw Chaz reaching out for my brownie. I scowled and slapped his hand away. "What is with you people stealing my dessert lately?" I growled, clutching the plate close to me, away from his greedy hands.

I closed my eyes again and ate the last, delicious piece of the brownie. I moaned again, and I was about to start in on the lemon bar when I heard slight chuckling in the background. I didn't even have to look to know who it was. "Tommy, get that stupid turned-on look off your face! And Chaz, what the hell do you think you're laughing at!" I barked snappily. They immediately shut up, and I opened my eyes, unable to prevent the smile from spreading across my lips.

I started laughing, because, well, I'm always teetering on the brink of insanity and the sugar high was sort of pushing me over the edge. That and the fact that they actually took me seriously. That's a bit of a new experience. Tommy smiled and chewed happily on a licorice. He looks so much younger like that. Come to think of it, though, he's really not that old. I mean, twenty-one's the drinking age in the States... He's as old as a lot of college students. Which makes it sound a lot better than what it really is.

The tension in the room completely mellowed. "There's life without Sex, you know," I replied randomly. Okay, so I wasn't in my full mind when I said that, but the looks on Tommy and Chaz' faces were... Okay, get this, Tommy literally choked on his licorice. And then when I patted him on the back to try and help him, well, he didn't find it too helpful. Chaz floundered around for a minute, unsure of what, exactly, one could say to that.

Just as Tommy had stopped choking, I continued, grinning. Honestly, they're such perverts! Hehe. "Anyways, as I was saying, that's what I told Kat when Sex and the City ended. She didn't believe me, of course, being the Sex addict that she is, but..." I continued, losing my train of thought and trailing off. Where was I going with this again? Well, I effectively made Tommy choke again. Funny, and I thought he was the sex addict... Oh, yeah! "But eventually she forgot all about Sex. Well, except sometimes when she puts in a tape..." I rambled on further. I got him to choke twice more. Really, you'd think he'd be used to it by now.

I stopped suddenly and glanced at the both of them, playing with a strand of hair. They were both giving me blank, slightly stunned looks. I fought the urge to giggle. Man, they're so easy. Well, yeah, in that aspect too... But just to rile up. "What?" I questioned naively, plastering a wide-eyed innocent look on my face. Suckers. They'll fall for it every time.

Chaz' face eventually broke out into a smile. He shot Tommy a sympathetic glance, patting the poor man on the shoulder. "Jude, if you say "sex" one more time, Tommy's going to have a coronary," He said kindly. I snorted, trying to mask my amusement (I was threatening to burst into hysterical laughter). It barely worked to hold me back. I glanced merrily over at Tommy, frowning slightly and squeezing his shoulder.

"Yes, he is getting rather old, isn't he?" I remarked wryly. Tommy glared at me, and Chaz scowled because he's older than Tommy (and he looks it! Really... Drugs are not your friends). It was just so fun to make Tommy freak. I mean, sending him into a jealous rage is one thing... But that's so serious and more of a Because-I-Can sort of thing, whereas this is just good-natured, humorous ribbing. Tommy hates being mocked or made fun of... Or pretty much anything that makes him look a little less than perfect, which he is... But I don't need to build up his oversized ego any more, even if it is in my head.

"So, Tommy, is Chaz a good kisser?" I asked casually, trying to fight the grin that spread across my face. And that was before I even saw the look on Tommy's face, mind you. If you thought he was mortified when I hit on him... Hmm, has he kissed Chaz? Either way, Tommy flushed a little and avoided looking at Chaz. Was the flush of embarrassment or anger, I pondered...

I soon got my answer. "Well, you're the one that made out with him today, so why don't you tell me?" He snapped bitingly. Yowch. If he was a snapping turtle, I wouldn't have any fingers left right now. Chaz winced at the mention and rubbed his eye as if on cue. I also couldn't help but notice that he backed away a little from Tommy. Not that I can blame him. Tommy's... dangerous. Like escaped convict dangerous.

I mean, he's almost had charges of statutory rape (or fondling a minor inappropriately or something... I'm just lucky the 'rents haven't filed anything yet) and he's definitely almost had charges of assault and battery (from more than one separate case, yikes!) pressed against him. And why do they use that term... pressed against him? Man, it sounds dirty, like it's encouraging the pedophiles or something!

You know, though, he didn't deny kissing Chaz... Makes a girl wonder just what, exactly, went on on that tiny little bus... If you catch my drift. Yep, I'm winking at you! How am I supposed to answer if Chaz is a good kisser or not? I mean, really, Tommy pulled him off of me like five seconds after the fact. "You yanked him off of me about two seconds in, remember? I didn't really get the chance to get into it as much as I would've liked," I pointed out wisely, giving Chaz a discreet wink. Chaz tried hard to keep a straight face, especially as a distasteful and disgusted look crossed Tommy's face.

I spoke before Tommy could, pouting a little and playing with his shirt sleeve. Mm, it's soft. "You know, Tommy, you never told me whether or not you've ever kissed Chaz..." I murmured softly, looking up through my lashes. Yeah, that's right! You can't resist me, babe. Or he feels guilt about the whole deflowerment business... Hehe. Oops. I couldn't help but notice Chaz and Tommy exchange looks. Had I actually hit on something here?

The moment was broken when Tommy rolled his eyes and glared at Chaz. "No, Chaz, giving you CPR does not count. That was me saving your life," Tommy stressed, looking a bit embarrassed. Not that I can blame him... Oh, so it's just the OD'ing thing. Well, that's not juicy! I mean, okay, it sorta is, but in the lifesaving way. I giggled just a little. Oh, yeah, the rumors! I smirked. Now this was the piece de resistance...

"Hey, Tommy, have you ever heard the rumor that Boyz Attack! broke up because you and Chaz were lovers?" I questioned calmly, as if I was talking about something completely innocuous and not at all forbidden. Tommy's jaw dropped to the floor, and he deliberately looked anywhere but at Chaz. What a bad moment to pick to become speechless at. I was so going to have a field day with this. Considering Chaz and I had made a bet on it, I made sure to look at Tommy's face.

Unfortunately, it turned purple before he exploded. Damn. I own Chaz ten dollars. "Are you out to get me today?" Tommy questioned frustratedly, running a hand through his hair angrily. He was actually starting to pace. His face was slowly returning to its normal color. While Tommy was taking calming breaths and trying to be zen about things, I discreetly handed Chaz the bill, scowling. "You drive me crazy, you know that?" Tommy remarked, shaking his head and taking a deep breath.

Chaz smirked. "She just wants to distress your denim the same way you distress hers," He drawled smoothly, winking at Tommy. WHAT! The! HELL! What does that even mean? I mean, really? And it sounds so... so wrong and dirty and icksome. Like I'm some sort of trampy type. And judging by the look on Tommy's face. Yeah, I'm not the only freaked one. Tom had to push Chaz out just to get him to shut up. Good times. Neither Tommy nor I said anything about that weird thing he said, which was over all for the better.

I finished my lemon bar, and he finished his licorice... In silence. I swear, I didn't even make him choke once. Don't get me wrong, neither of us were mad. Okay...

So maybe Tommy was a little mad... But just a little! And he's touchy, so he's like... always pissed at someone. Plus there's the perfectionist thing. Hmm, I think he was Dusty Springfield in a past life.

But back to what I was saying... We finished our food and then got up, throwing notebooks in bags and draping bags over arms and clutching our guitars like children. And then it was time to go off to the studio and record yet another blistering Jude track. But a few minutes before we left, the cameraperson stopped us. Uh oh. We both suddenly remembered that he'd seen EVERYTHING. Naturally, we both wanted to lay a hand or two on that tape, but we refrained from violence, choosing instead diplomacy, dignity, and pretending nothing had happened, per the usual.

We looked at him with attentive eyes, wanting to leave the reminder that was the whole room. "I have to give it to you. You two are good. I got some great footage. You should really go for a second career in acting. The camera loves you," He said grudgingly, with a great deal of respect. He gave us very stern looks. The compliments were nice, but I really wasn't sure who he was aiming them at and if he was hitting on that person. Considering that he was taller than Jamie, muscley, had about fifty tattoos, bad teeth, and looked like he'd just been let out of prison, I was a bit scared either way.

Tommy thought he was done, so he left ahead of me. I moved to follow him, but the video guy grabbed my arm. Eww, what if he smells and gets yucky germs all over me? And what are you, two? Yes!

While I was having this internal argument with myself, the man took the opportunity to explain himself further. Oddly enough, he didn't look suspicious in the slightest, which seemed insane, as we'd made out and flirted in front of him and his stupid camera. But hey, if he wasn't going to press it, then whatever.

"If I didn't know better, I would've thought you two actually had feelings for each other," He remarked, laughing, as a way of a joke. But that comment wasn't funny at all. In fact, it sort of stung me right down to the core. I didn't really know what to say myself. I couldn't very well now scream out that I was in love with the idiot, now could I?

So I did the only thing that I could... The only thing that came to mind. I sighed, gazing longingly at Tommy and feeling suddenly a bit pathetic. "Yeah, me too..." I mumbled wearily, biting my lip and feeling disappointed.

He's with your sister, Jude. You know, Sadie? The buxom blonde with boobs to spare, a perma-tan, and legs that just don't quit? Your perfect sister with your perfect guy? Barbie and Ken? He's with your sister. Don't go there.

As I was telling myself this and struggling with yet another futile attempt to get over him, Tommy turned around. He noticed my stare and smiled back casually, like everything was all right in the world. It was a secret sort of smile, the simple kind he reserved for just me, not the big mega-watts he gave the cameras or unpleasant people when he was lying to them. The smile said: "This stays just between us." For a second there, he looked so happy that he even snapped me out of my little funk. My damned heart skipped a beat, and while he smiled, I forgot I even had a sister.

And if only for one moment, one glorious moment, his smile reassured me and everything was all right in the world. I smiled back softly, a silly lovesick grin. But then the moment was ruined when the asshole bastard camera guy shoved me forward. Tommy turned back around, heading for the studio.

And, naturally, I lost my balance and fell head-first on the ground. It's always head-over-heels with me.

And I came crashing back to reality like always.

Loren :

I love you guys! Seriously, thanks so much for the reviews! I really appreciate them, so getting some tomorrow/today/tommay would completely make my day, as Wednesdays are out to get me.