Join With Us, by Feeling
Half Past Eight
And you're late
Coffee's cold
What a state
They've dragged you down
Fate's got you scraped
Work to death
Can't you turn them words around
The world is in your hands
The world is in your hands
The world belongs to those of us who still believe we can
And it matters what you do
Though they all look down on you
Cos it's better that you've come from nothing,
Than nothing comes from you
Don't make a sound
Count your pennies
Count your pounds
There's no way out
What will you do,
When all love gives up on you
Can't turn around
We've got a place and it's here for you
For all we ever wanted was a different view
I never knew somebody live with so much pain
If you open your heart come with us and we'll take you away
Come with us
Join with us
Hatter didn't make a habit out of getting drunk, particularly since alcohol was not easily come by. But it had been a long week, he was tired, and Dormie had come into the office with a bottle of vodka in a frosted glass bottle. He didn't spend much time with his manager, unless it was work-related, so he'd been a bit surprised when Dormie had plunked himself down in one of the chairs that faced the glass-topped desk and offered him one of the two shot glasses he held in one small hand.
Now, two hours later, the bottle was mostly empty and Hatter was feeling no pain. The Oysters were much better at making liquor and he appreciated the difference from the usual Wonderland rot-gut. He knocked back another shot, then leaned forward on the desk.
"You know what burns me?" he asked Dormie, who didn't look nearly as drunk as Hatter felt. "I feel like I'm in that story. You know it? The ferryman?"
Dormie just shook his head.
"The ferryman. He was cursed, yeah? Pissed off someone, a witch or something, and had to spend eternity ferrying people from one side of the river to the other, never setting foot on solid ground himself." Hatter set the shot glass on its side and rolled it back and forth across the desk. "Only way he could get free was if someone took up his oars. But no-one ever did – who'd want to, right? – and he was just stuck there forever."
"Sad story," Dormie commented.
"Not just a story for me. This bloody Tea Shop is my ferry. I'm trapped here and I'll always be. Who'd want this job? The Queen's errand boy. Her slave, to be honest."
A part of Hatter knew he shouldn't be saying those things, not to Dormie. If that talk got back to the Queen, he'd pay for it in pain. Top salesman he might be, but she didn't let any acts of insubordination go unpunished. Still, it was a relief just to say it.
"You hate her, don't you?" Dormie asked, a bit too casually.
Hatter just shrugged, ignoring the warning bells sounding in his head. "She's ruined my life. And there's nothing to be done for it."
There wasn't enough alcohol in the world to drown the bitterness Hatter felt. The Queen had taken away every good thing he'd ever had in his life – his parents, March, Lily, and his own self-respect. She'd made him kill for her, and he'd helped her make mindless slaves out of the people who clamored for Tea. And while others might envy the things he had, the things that Tea had provided for him, none was willing to take his spot. None was willing to be the Queen's play toy.
"A toast," Dormie said, pouring out the last of the vodka into the shot glasses. He handed one to Hatter. "To change."
Hatter snorted. "Yeah. Change." He knocked back the drink, and carelessly tossed the glass into the corner, where it shattered.
"Sweet dreams," Dormie said with a grin.
"Wha…" Hatter gave his manager a blearily confused look before slumping forward on the desk with a thud.
*o*o*o*
Hatter came awake instantly, ignoring the stabbing pain behind his eyes in favor of figuring out where he was. He mentally cursed Dormie, who must've slipped something into that last shot; the sodding git would pay for that. Closing his eyes against the sickening spinning of the room, Hatter sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the cot he was lying on.
When he could safely open his eyes again, Hatter saw that he was in a small, windowless room. The only furniture was the cot and a wooden chair; both were bolted to the floor. The door was narrow and likely bolted as well. Hatter got unsteadily to his feet. He flexed his right hand, and smashed the chair into large, jagged pieces. He yanked one of the legs out of its bolt and brandished it; it would do as a temporary weapon. He didn't have to wait long to use it.
There was a scrape of metal as the bolt on the door was drawn back. Hatter took up a defensive stance as the door swung out, revealing a young, blonde man, wearing black pants covered in pockets and a plain white shirt. He made no attempt to come into the room, just stood outside the door staring at Hatter.
"You don't need that," he said after a while. "No-one wants to hurt you."
"Why the drugs then?"
"Merely precautionary. We need to stay off the Suits' radar."
"Who are you?" Hatter asked, keeping the chair leg pointed out. "White Rabbit? Resistance?"
"The latter, of course." The man chuckled. "The White Rabbit isn't known for their subtlety."
Hatter heard sincerity in the man's words, but he knew little about the Resistance and had no reason to trust them. He assumed a less defensive posture, but kept a firm grip on the chair leg.
"I'm unarmed. And if you'll come with me, I'll take you to see the man who can tell you why you're here."
"Who are you?" Hatter asked, cautiously making his way to the door.
"You can call me Perry."
"Suppose you know my name already."
Perry nodded.
Hatter weighed his options, and decided to see what the Resistance had to say. In Wonderland, information was a commodity. It was time to gather some.
*o*o*o*
Perry led Hatter down a non-descript hall, through an empty room that had vines climbing down the walls, and down yet another hall. There was an air of emptiness about the whole place that led Hatter to believe it wasn't one of the Resistance's normal haunts; likely they used it only when they wanted to "talk" to someone like him.
"Right in here," Perry said, opening a door and gesturing Hatter inside.
Still clutching his chair leg Hatter eased inside, keeping close to the wall. The room was populated by a rusted metal desk, a moth-eaten sofa, and three people; two of them were armed, their guns pointed straight at Hatter.
"Ease down, guys," Perry said. The woman, who wore big glasses and some kind of knotted cloth on her head, immediately lowered her gun. The old man didn't put up his weapon until Perry put his hand on it and forced it down.
"It's okay, Uncle."
"And yet he is armed," said the third man. Hatter immediately pegged him as the one in charge. He was a tall, solid-looking man in a long black leather coat, and Hatter disliked him almost on sight.
"Merely precautionary," Hatter said. Perry laughed.
"Hatter, meet Dodo."
"Hmmm." Hatter tightened his grip on the chair leg. There was a gleam in Dodo's eye that he didn't like, an arrogance in his tone that rubbed him the wrong way.
"So you're the infamous Hatter." Dodo sat down behind the desk, the chair groaning under his weight. "I thought you'd be…more."
Perry sat on the sofa, arms stretched out along the back, and watched the proceedings intently. The old woman and the old man continued to flank Dodo, though they seemed more nervous than anything else. Not the muscle Hatter would've expected for someone high up in the Resistance.
"Why'd you bring me here?"
"We had to be sure of your loyalties," Dodo said, leaning forward across the desk. "Our man assures us you have no love for the Queen."
That man could only be Dormie. He worked for the Resistance? All this time Hatter had assumed he was an inside man for the Casino. And now all of Dormie's sleeping made sense; people would be less apt to watch what they were saying if they thought you couldn't hear. His manager was far more clever than Hatter had given him credit for.
"We've been watching you, Hatter. You would be an excellent asset to the Resistance."
"What makes you think I want anything to do with you?"
"We can offer you the chance of vengeance for your slain lover, for one."
Hatter went absolutely still, though his hand was clenched so hard around the chair leg that his knuckles turned white. He didn't like that Dodo knew about Lily, and liked even less that he thought he could use her for leverage. The Resistance held no real power, and he knew it. When he got his revenge for Lily, he'd do it personally and without anyone's assistance.
"Not in the market for vengeance," Hatter replied. He kept his voice even, though inside he was quivering in anger.
"You owe us," Dodo said, his eyes narrowing. "As a replacement you're almost nothing, but we can work on that."
"And what is it you think I owe you, then?" Hatter asked, confused.
Dodo slapped his hand on the desk, the sound of it echoing like a gunshot. The old woman flinched.
"Her name was Swan, you sodding bastard!" He lurched to his feet, hands clenched into fists. "You broke her neck and never even knew her name!"
Hatter's stomach clenched and he felt ill. He fought the urge to close his eyes, fought the urge to vomit. Swan. He could see her face, as clear as if it had been only yesterday. He could feel the bones in her neck snapping under his hand. His first kill for the Queen. The Suits had beaten him bloody to motivate him, and he'd never forget that pain either.
"I had no choice," he said, hating the waver he heard in his voice. As excuses went, he knew it was weak. He'd had a choice, of course. Not a good one, but a choice. And none of it really mattered because she'd have been dead one way or another.
"She was invaluable to this organization," Dodo said between clenched teeth. "And now we're left with her murderer to take her place."
"No. I want nothing to do with you or the Resistance."
"We need your help, Hatter," Perry said from the sofa. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "As a Tea Shop owner, you're in a good position to get us supplies as well as information. And we need both."
Hatter shook his head. Perry got to his feet and held his hands palm out in supplication. "You're a good man, Hatter. You don't deserve what the Queen has done to you, and neither do the people that we try to help. We can work this out so everyone wins."
Dodo fairly beamed at the younger man. "Well said, Peregrine!"
"Perry," he corrected with a sigh.
"How can we trust him?" the old woman asked tremulously.
"Because he wants to help us, Aunt," Perry said softly. He held Hatter's gaze. "Because he hates the Queen as much as we do, and probably more. Because doing something, no matter how small, is better than sitting back and letting her win."
"The Resistance has no power," Hatter said. He was feeling a bit desperate now, not wanting to be drawn in but feeling the pull of Perry's words.
"We have more than you know," Dodo said. "We have agents in places you couldn't guess. We have control of the Great Library and the Hall of Doors. It's only a matter of time until the right moment presents itself and we can remove the Queen from the throne."
"And then what?" Hatter wanted to know. It was Perry who answered.
"Then we can replace her with someone who wants the people of Wonderland to start thinking and feeling for themselves again."
"And the Oysters?"
"Back to their world, where they belong."
It all sounded too good to be true. March had once wanted the same things, and Hatter knew how that had turned out. Still, a part of him desperately wanted to do something useful. He was tired of being the Queen's pawn.
"Can I have some time to think it through?"
Dodo opened his mouth, presumably to say no, but Perry cut him off. "Of course. See you back to the Tea Shop, shall I?"
"Don't forget who's in charge here, Peregrine," Dodo said with a growl.
"Of course not, Dodo. Just doing my part." Perry flashed him a grin, then grabbed Hatter's arm and steered him out of the room.
"Is he always so imperious?" Hatter asked. Perry laughed.
"It's what makes him Dodo. You get used to it."
"So what happens now? Bag over my head? More drugs?" Hatter didn't want to clock Perry over the head with the chair leg, but he wasn't about to be manhandled a second time.
"No need. As I say, I trust you."
"Even though your boss doesn't."
Perry shrugged. "Dodo tends to overlook the better qualities in most people."
"Seems to like you well enough, Peregrine."
Perry gave Hatter a friendly shove. "He's priming me for a top position in the Resistance. Has been since I was eight. Owl and Duck took me in when my parents were taken; they practically raised me."
Hatter couldn't help feeling that he and Perry had a lot in common. And wasn't it funny the different courses their lives had taken. Perry was working on the side of good and Hatter was on the side of the Queen. At least that's what most people assumed.
He followed Perry down the hall and then out a door onto the ledge. It took only a moment for Hatter to orient himself, to know where he was in the City. It wasn't all that far from the Tea Shop, actually. Perry leaned against the wall.
"You know your way from here?"
"Yeah."
"Go. I'll be in touch in a couple of days."
"Just like that?" Hatter asked, suspicious.
"Just like that." Perry turned to go back inside. "Think it over, Hatter. We could really use you."
"Yeah. Right."
Perry just grinned and went back through the door. Hatter stood there a moment, unaware that he was smiling too, and then he headed back to the Tea Shop.
*o*o*o*
True to his word, Perry showed up at the Tea Shop in two day's time. He came after hours and perched on the back of Hatter's white sofa, watching as Hatter finished up the day's accounting. His bright blue eyes scanned the room, taking everything in.
"This is nice," he commented. "How do you keep the grass so green?"
"Are you here for gardening tips?" Hatter asked, stowing his account book.
"No need to be so prickly," Perry said with a grin. "You know why I'm here. If you want me gone, all you have to do is tell me what you've decided."
Hatter reached behind him for his kettle. "Cup of tea?"
"Thanks."
Perry leapt off the sofa and settled into one of the chairs facing the desk. He accepted the clear glass cup from Hatter and sipped it appreciatively.
"This is good. Where'd you get it?"
"I've my sources."
"Ooh, so secretive."
They both sipped in silence for a moment. Hatter studied Perry, a bit jealous of his easy manner and seemingly carefree attitude. He'd been like that once, before circumstances had taken the ease from his life. He hadn't realized how much he missed that.
"You've decided then?" Perry asked after a while.
"Yeah."
"Do I have to guess, or can you just tell me?"
Hatter chuckled. "I'll give it a go with the Resistance. I don't like it, I'm out."
"Fair enough."
"So, is there a ceremony or secret handshake or something?"
Perry laughed. "Nothing so exciting, trust me. We'll tell you our needs, you meet them, and if we find you trustworthy we'll show you more of the operation."
"And what do I get out of this arrangement?" Hatter asked. He already knew what he was going to ask for, had known the minute Dodo had mentioned it; it was probably the largest consideration in his decision making.
"Aside from the satisfaction of serving the greater good?" Perry asked with a smirk. "Did you have something in mind?"
"Dodo said you control the Great Library."
Perry nodded, waiting.
"If I help you, which puts me at great risk I might add, I'd like access to the books."
"Books? Really?" Perry looked thoughtful. "Unexpected. But certainly doable."
Hatter felt a bloom of pleasure. He'd always enjoyed reading, and the few books he'd managed to acquire had been read and re-read countless times. They weren't easily come by in Wonderland these days and the idea of having access to a whole library was unimaginable.
"Then I believe we have a deal," Hatter said.
"I believe we do. Welcome to the Resistance, Hatter."
*o*o*o*
It was two months of supplying the Resistance before Hatter was allowed to be shown the Great Library. He and Perry had just finished unloading a pallet of stolen meat tins and were sitting side by side on the ledge, sharing a glass bottle full of water.
"Not a bad day's work," Perry said. It was a particularly hot day and he used his arm to wipe the sweat from his forehead.
"Wish it wasn't so hot." Hatter fanned himself with his hat.
"I know someplace we can go that's nice and cool."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. Come on."
Perry gave Hatter a hand up and led him down the ledge. They walked in companionable silence, passing the water back and forth. When they came to a ledge marked by a long line of identical blue doors, Perry stopped.
"Do I even have to mention how super secret this part is?"
"Yeah, I know. If I tell anyone, you have to kill me." Hatter put his hand over his heart. "You have my solemn vow of silence."
Perry rolled his eyes. "Very dramatic. Follow me."
Choosing one door amongst the many, Perry knocked on it and waited with his arms crossed. A panel in the door slid open and part of a face peeked through; even from where he stood Hatter could tell that it was Duck.
"The time has come to talk of many things," the old man said.
Perry winked at Hatter. "Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings."
The viewing panel slid shut and the door opened, revealing Duck in his green military garb. Perry nodded his head, and Hatter followed him onto the bus elevator.
"Afternoon, Uncle," Perry said. He flopped down into a seat and Hatter took the one across from him. His eyes took in everything that Duck was doing, and he saw that operating the bus was really quite simple. He filed that information away; never knew when it would come in handy.
The ride down was alarmingly swift, but blessedly short. When the bus stopped Hatter started to get to his feet, only to be thrown back against the window when the bus jerked. Perry laughed.
"Nug face," Hatter grumbled, rubbing the back of his head.
"Come on, you'll like this." Perry practically pushed him off the bus.
The building they were in was beautiful; Hatter had never seen the like. Warm, creamy marble railings and columns, deep red carpet. Everything looked new and shiny. And then it all vanished when Perry put his hand over Hatter's eyes.
"Oi!"
"Oh, come on Hatter. Let it be a surprise."
Perry led him to the railing; Hatter ran his hands over the cool marble, loving the feel of it. He could tell Perry was excited; the other man was practically humming with it.
"Hatter…welcome to the Great Library."
Perry pulled his hand away and Hatter gaped. Below him were more books than he ever dared believe existed, in countless stacks and piles. Some of the stacks were a story high or taller. There were people down there amongst all those books – standing, sleeping, carrying on conversations with each other.
"Bloody hell," Hatter murmured. He wanted nothing more than to vault over the railing and dive into all those books; so much knowledge, just sitting there. Perry laughed.
"Closer look?"
"Oh, yeah."
Perry led Hatter to a wide stairway, adorned with more red carpet and brass handrails. Hatter had to stop himself from running, though every step seemed to take an eternity. When they got down to the bottom floor, Hatter stopped and took a deep breath. The musty smell of books permeated the air down there, along with the rich scent of leather bindings. For a moment he just closed his eyes and drank it all in.
"Dodo says you can take three books today. And then a regular exchange will take place – books for supplies, that sort of thing."
"There's so many," Hatter said. How would he pick only three out of such a vast supply?
"This is over five thousand years of Wonderland history. Art, literature, law…everything. The Queen would love to see this burnt to nothing."
"How did this all get here?"
"The Resistance rescued it when the Queen came to power. Wasn't easy, and it took some time, but almost the entire library was moved here. You understand why it has to be kept secret."
"And these people?" Hatter asked. Up close, he could see that many of them had a lost, hopeless look in their eyes. "Refugees?"
"Got it in one. They have no place to go, so they stay here. Your supplies will help us help them."
Perry clasped him on the shoulder. "You take a look round, I'm going to check in with Dodo. His main office is here, on the floor we came in on."
Hatter waved him off, his attention on the books. He grabbed one at random, and flipped through it. It was a cookbook and his mouth watered at the descriptions of fresh meats and pies. He grabbed another, this one a comprehensive listing of flora and fauna in the Forest of Wabe. He sank to the floor, surrounded by books, and spent the remainder of the day reading until his eyes started to burn.
*o*o*o*
Three weeks later Perry called on Hatter for some help moving supplies from one safe house to another after dark, in exchange for more books. Hatter was all too eager to agree, and not just because of his payout. He genuinely liked Perry, and the two had been spending time together outside of Resistance duties. It had been a long time since Hatter'd had a friend, and Perry was very easy to get on with.
"Why the move?" Hatter asked, loading up backpacks with tins of juice and dried fruits, and bags of rice.
"We move locations regularly. Keeps them from pinning down our location."
That made sense to Hatter and so he helped Perry make several trips back and forth, with only the moon to light their way along the ledges. There were more people out now, using the cover of darkness to carry out their secrets, and none of them paid any attention to Hatter and Perry. People in Wonderland were very good at minding their own business.
"We should go to that new dance club tomorrow," Perry said as they returned for the last of the supplies. "I hear the girls there are…impressive."
Hatter smirked. "You think all girls are impressive."
"Just the naked ones!"
They shared a laugh, until Perry held up his hand. They came to an abrupt stop a few feet from the safe house. The door hung open, a gaping black hole in the side of the building.
"We've been compromised," Perry said. And then the night exploded in gunfire as Suits erupted from the open door.
Hatter and Perry both pulled pistols, but they were outmanned and had nowhere to go for cover. Three Suits fell, but there were more to take their place. Perry moved in front of Hatter, acting as a human shield.
"Go! Quick, before they see you!"
"Not without you!" Hatter tried to push Perry aside, looking for a shot. He could hardly see, half-blinded by all the muzzle flash.
"It'll be bad for you! Just go!"
"Move!" Hatter bellowed, trying to shoulder him aside.
When Perry finally did move, it was backwards into Hatter, knocking them both off their feet. Hatter scrambled to his knees, trying to see how badly Perry was injured. His heart slammed in his chest; no matter where he touched the other man, his hand came away wet with blood.
The Suits had stopped firing and were making their way slowly forward. Hatter knew they didn't have much time. He tried to get Perry to his feet, but he cried out in pain.
"Go," he gasped. "Don't…get caught."
"Not without you!" Hatter tried to sound firm, but it came out more like pleading. "Why the hell didn't you move?"
"Freeze! In the name of the Queen of Hearts!" The Suits were almost upon them and Hatter didn't know what to do. If he got caught, he'd be lucky to be beheaded; the more likely scenario involved lots of painful torture at the hands of the Doctors. He fired, wild shots that sent the Suits scurrying back for cover. He fired until his pistol clicked empty.
"Hatter…" Perry's voice was barely a whisper now. "Keep…fighting. Don't…let her…win."
"Perry." Hatter swallowed his regret, his sadness, his rage. He pressed a quick kiss to his friend's forehead, then got up and ran, shots ringing out behind him. He ran until he couldn't hear anyone following him, ran until his breath gave out. And when he couldn't run anymore, he dropped down on his hands and knees and screamed his loss into the dark.
*o*o*o*
"You have a lot of nerve, showing up here." Dodo's face was thunderous, but Hatter refused to be cowed by it. It had been two days since the shootout with the Suits, two days since Perry had given his life for Hatter. He was determined to honor his friend's last request.
"What happened wasn't my fault," Hatter said.
"Peregrine was worth a hundred of you," Dodo snarled. "Funny how my best people seem to die around you."
When Dodo pulled his pistol, still Hatter didn't move. The Resistance needed him, no matter how the man felt; he felt sure he wouldn't shoot. What he wasn't expecting was for Owl to move between him and Dodo, her tear-streaked face set in firm lines.
"No."
"Peregrine was like a son to you, Owl. This man is nothing."
"No," Owl said again. "He was Perry's friend. Perry trusted him, gave his life for him. He stays."
Dodo scowled, but he put up his gun. Hatter fought to swallow against the lump in his throat. Without another word Dodo turned and walked away, his very stride radiating anger. Hatter let out a breath he didn't even know he'd been holding.
"Thank you," he said. Owl turned and put a hand on his chest.
"I know you would've saved him, if you could," she said. Then she left as well. Hatter made a mental note to keep Owl and Duck as well supplied as he could. He'd take care of them in Perry's stead. And despite his misgivings, he'd stay on and work with Dodo. He was no replacement for Perry, but he could still do his part. So long as he still got his books.
As Hatter made his way back to the bus, he decided that the next time the Storehouse was open, he would negotiate for some body armor. He'd not let anyone else take a bullet meant for him.
AN: Though it's been so long they probably don't remember, special thanks to Celticbriarrose and Smiles2Go for helping me develop some of the plot points in this chapter. What would I do without you? ::grins::
Sorry this took so long to get to you, faithful readers. It's like my brain didn't want to finish up these Hatter tales. But finished they are. There is one last chapter, which is already written, and then we'll be leaving these angsty tales behind. Stay tuned…the final chapter will be up this week!