Heyo everyone I'm doing the redux of Situational Hazard, started 1/26/08! This is going clear through Kakashi's and Naruto's relationship, without Naruto being kidnapped, so more teasing and more fun. Why did I decide to do this? Because I know that a lot of people out there are going to appreciate it. So here goes, from Chapter 10 onward!
Walking around in pants, even shorts for the whole morning, was one thing. Waltzing around the kitchen in a bloody towel was quite another!
"Geezus, will you put some damn clothes on?!" Naruto bitched the second he stepped foot into the kitchen in search of something to eat. To say he almost lost his appetite at the sight of Kakashi shirtless and towel-clad was an understatement. It was more like he'd almost had a heart attack.
Kakashi had the nerve to eye-smile at him while pouring that disgusting bran cereal he always bought into a bowl, like he really wasn't parading around in a piece of cloth that came just past his bony knees. So much for breakfast.
"Are you eating or not?"
"I was going to, until I walked in on this!"
"Sure you aren't waiting for it to fall?"
Naruto gaped. W-wha-what the-- He was NOT waiting for it to fall! How dare that dirty-minded fiend say something like that?!
"You wish jackass!" Really, he had some nerve implying that Naruto wanted to know if he really wasn't wearing underwear unde-- wait NO! No, he did NOT want to know that, dear god not at all! Kakashi was messing with his head, that had to be it. Right. Of
course.
"Well then I guess you aren't ready." Kakashi took his bowl to the table and went back to the sink, closer to Naruto, glanced at him and grabbed a spoon.
"What are you talking about? Ready for what?"
"Oh how easily we forget." He replied mysteriously and sat down, and NO Naruto did NOT think about the way the light blue cotton gently inched up and past Kakashi's knee. He didn't think that, because he wasn't a pervert.
"Whatever, sensei. When I find my appetite, I'll come back, and you'd better have some clothes on or I'll--
"You'll what? Dress me yourself? You'd have to take my towel off first."
"Argh, go to hell you perv!" Naruto wished he had a kunai on him, he would have cut out Kakashi's voicebox. He glared hard at the man, wondering when the hell he was going to eat that cereal when Kakashi looked up from his bowl and with nary a smile, serious as a heart attack said,
"You sound like an angry wife. I don't envy the person you marry. I mean look what you put me through."
What?! What did Kakashi just call him?! And did he imply that Naruto was girly? Who was he kidding, a girl would be lucky to have him!
"Just because nobody wants to marry your weird ass! Who the heck would want to be your wife?!"
"I have a wife already, who cooks and cleans for me and bitches at me about wearing a robe in the kitchen. That's what wives do, they bitch and slave."
Oh that son of bitch! "You're not talking about me. I know you're not. Because I wouldn't marry you on your life and who the fuck slaves around here?! I cook and clean out of gratitude for you letting me stay here that's the only reason I bother!"
"Of course." Kakashi said, twirling the spoon skillfully. "Wives sometimes are dependant on their masters and it's their duty to appease them. So in light of that, you should probably wash this bowl when I'm done before you start eating, I wouldn't want your chores to pile up."
Naruto lividly gaped. He was going to kick Kakashi's ass! He was nodamnbody's slave and Kakashi sure as fuck wasn't his master! He had to admit, it was an angering comeback from last night's argument but he wasn't going to lose no matter what. If Kakashi wanted to play dirty then he was up to the challenge always! Kakashi wasn't ready!
"You're more like the family dog than a husband! I'd rather die than be your slave! Wash you own damn dishes and if you don't like that shit, then file for divorce!" With that Naruto stormed out of the kitchen and back to his room, slamming the door as hard as he dared. He could hear Kakashi out there laughing and it made him throw a shoe at the door for good measure.
He was pissed. Kakashi was just asking to be punched in the eye! Just when he thought he had the man with last night's victory, he had to come out and say something like that! His wife! Ha! Who was that baka no hentai kidding? If it was dirty he wanted it was dirty he was going to get! Nobody messed with Uzumaki Naruto and got away with it. He would show Kakashi that when it came to insults and perverted teasing he was the new King of Inappropriateness.
"Yes, I'll show that perv how good a wife I can be….heheheh…."
If Kakashi paid attention to the strangely vengeful aura coming from Naruto's room, he might have been inclined to be afraid or at least wary, but he only shrugged it off and went about his usual morning routine, getting dressed to go to the memorial stone before he met Team Seven. He smirked passing Naruto's room, listening to the boy move around, wondering just how much his 'wife' comment was getting to him. Yesterday had been only a temporary victory for Naruto. Kakashi was still the King, and no little brat was going to best him.
He still had a few hours to kill before he met with his team at the bridge. They would never know it wasn't he who was late, but they who were early. Kakashi knew missions were important and so he set aside some time for himself to do his usual morning routine while his student patiently waited for him. It wouldn't do if they were late, now would it?
Before he could zip up his vest and disappear in a cloud of smoke, Naruto burst out of his room and jumped him, latching onto his arm with scary eagerness.
"Where are you going 'honey'? You can't leave me behind!" Kakashi tried to shake him off, but the boy held fast.
"Naruto let me go before I make you."
"Nu-uh, Hubby-kun! As your wife, I get to bitch about how late you always are, and as your wife, I have a right to know why."
Kakashi shook his arm, still attempting to get the brat off but to no avail. So, the little loudmouth was taking his insult at face value, eh?
"Now you want to be my wife? What changed your mind? Was it my ruggedly handsome good looks? Or have you finally learned you place?"
Naruto grit his teeth before remembering that he was supposed to play along. "Neither! As for being ruggedly handsome, only you can attest to that!"
Surely he was right, Kakashi mused. And that was the way it was going to stay.
"You're going to be early today sensei, I'm not letting you go until we get to the bridge." Naruto was determined to get him to be on time that morning. As his new wife, Naruto was definitely going to have fun making his life hell.
Kakashi however, wasn't called a genius for nothing. "You want everyone to see you hanging off of my arm like my boyfriend or something?" Naruto let go fast.
"N-no! What are you talking about?!"
"Then I'll be going. See you in a few hours," the Jounin waved.
"Arrghhh!!" Naruto wanted to scream. Kakashi just puffed away to wherever it was he went when he wasn't where he was supposed to be, leaving the blonde angry and thwarted. Damnit! He was so close to doing the impossible! One of those days he was going to solve all of Kakashi Hatake's mysteries. He was going to find out why he was always so late, why he was such a perv, and see what in the bloody hell was under that mask!
If Kakashi thought he could escape the wrath of the future Hokage he was in for a loud, blonde awakening.
Kakashi stood in front of the memorial stone but wasn't sure what he wanted to say. Usually he talked about how crappy his ongoing life was, but with his new houseguest, he hadn't any depressing news to tell. Sometimes he would tell them about his and Naruto's relationship but he had to be careful what he said with Yondaime listening. One never knew what an angry former Hokage was capable of even when dead, so he kept certain details about their living arrangements to himself. Minato was vengeful, and only he knew this to be true and definitely didn't want any of that vengefulness directed at him.
"He's angry with me again. But I guess that's part of the fun."
Kakashi remembered that when he was young he would make people he wanted to test for loyalty angry on purpose just to see if they would hurt him or leave him like his father had. Over time it had become more of a hobby than a test and he secretly liked to see people angry because for some sick reason it amused him more than anything else. Minato-sensei had told him that doing things like that was likely to get him smacked. Kakashi was never smacked but Minato had a way with pranks and this never escaped the silver-haired boy's knowledge. His sensei had made his pranks so good that not even a Chuunin of Kakashi's rank could help being caught up in one and this managed to only deepen his attraction to passionate people. Obito Uchiha was exceptionally fun to harass, as his face always went from pale to red in an amusing amount of time and he had the most foul mouth Kakashi had ever heard. It came to the point where Kakashi didn't even have to say anything to piss the dark-haired boy off. Rin was just like the typical Konoha kunoichi. Always angry or overly sensitive to stupid little things like boys and the way they looked. Kakashi thought she looked fine and while he didn't exactly go out of his way to let her know, he liked to think the hints were subtle enough. It was obvious she had a crush on him. Well she was beautiful and all but she wasn't someone Kakashi had ever taken seriously. He wasn't sure if given the chance if he ever would. Obito liked her more than well enough and Kakashi thought she should have being paying attention to someone who really liked her rather than him, who only complimented her every once in a while because he thought she was pretty and nothing else.
"If he becomes the Hokage he'll be so much like you it'll be freaky, Minato-sensei."
He wasn't going to divulge what happened that morning in the house or that he had made his sensei's son his 'wife' as part of a practical joke to piss the younger blonde off further, but he had to kill the hours some way, so he decided he would talk about any silly little thing that crossed his mind and hope for the time to fly by. He found that he had been spending less and less time at the memorial stone with his friends and sensei since Naruto had come to live with him, some would say that was a good thing, but Kakashi wasn't so sure. He could count on one hand how many times someone had told him to leave the past in the past, or to 'let go' but if he did that then he would be left with nothing. Naruto meant something to him, but the boy didn't understand what it was like to feel important. Iruka showed him as much as he could, even so, Iruka would have more than likely been the sole person in the Naruto's life that ever showed him that he was cared for, nothing to compare anything to. Kakashi had never shown Naruto that he was important to him, and he didn't know if he could.
For as long as he could remember, he had been the aloof child prodigy who cared for nothing and no one after his father died. By the time he wanted to change something, it was already too late. Then he reverted back to what he was before and shunned anyone that even showed an inkling of feeling for him, not wanting to visit any more people in the mornings than he had to. Naruto was different. Naruto never gave up and he just was so much like Yondaime that Kakashi found himself unable to resist certain charms the blonde teen had unknowingly exuded. Naruto was, in many ways, more like him than Sasuke ever was. He chose Sasuke to train for the Chuunin exams because Sasuke was safe. Sasuke didn't care. Sasuke barely felt emotion. Naruto was clingy, hopeful, and very easy to get used to. Kakashi didn't like it. At first. There were times when Naruto's strong demeanor had failed him and times when he looked like Kakashi had felt. Kakashi would find himself drawn to the boy's despair, as if it somehow connected them.
Just like that, Naruto became his favorite student. Sasuke was a brat, Sakura was annoying, but Naruto was utterly fake and genuine at the same time, very much like himself. He would smile when there was nothing to smile about and the smile never reached his eyes, or show his emotions stronger than people usually would for little things like a kid being teased. Naruto knew all to well what it was like to have nothing, like Kakashi. Even though their reasons were entirely different, the feelings were the same. Teasing Naruto was fun. When Naruto was around him, he didn't have to laugh if he didn't want to, he didn't have to worry about someone teasing him if he got too angry. The least he had to worry about was giving Kakashi something to tease him about. Kakashi would never tease him for feeling. Like Sasuke and Sakura did. He was no Iruka Umino, but he cared about Naruto and what he thought, even when he went out of his way to hide it. There was one time several months ago that he had been watching Naruto struggle to perfect the jutsu that would save Sasuke from Orochimaru and Naruto had been so passionate and so determined and had been doing so well, that Kakashi had let it slip.
"I really like you now." To say the least, Naruto had freaked. Kakashi hadn't meant it that way, but apparently Naruto wasn't used to being liked and it showed. At first it seemed as if Naruto was truly surprised, then, as if to cover it up, he cussed Kakashi out and called him a weirdo. Kakashi never said anything like that again. Though he was curious. What would Naruto say if he said it while they were in the kitchen together? Would he freak out again? Not that Kakashi intended to find out.
"Well, I think I'm going to go and bother Iruka. Right now he should be headed for his classes at the Academy. He hates when I pop up and bother him about having a crush on Anko. See you later Obito, sensei, Rin."
If Kakashi was going to be late then Naruto didn't see the need to hurry to the bridge that morning. He would show up when Kakashi did and no earlier if he could help it. Now that he was awake, he would be bored for a few hours, but it was nothing some warm up exercises couldn't cure. He would get to vent his frustrations out on a tree or something.
Of course, the object of his frustrations was out being mysterious someplace. Seriously, what in the world did he do in the mornings? Did he read? Did he sleep? Did he go to see his girlfriend?
"Yeah I'll bet that's what it is. His girlfriend. Wonder who would be insane enough to date him?"
Well there was Mitarashi Anko.
"Nevermind," Naruto shuddered at the thought. Anko was freaky and probably in more ways than one. Kakashi was weird too, they would make a disturbingly perfect pair.
Naruto kicked the tree harder than he intended to and knocked the poor thing down. He screeched and looked around hastily, hoping nobody saw him fell the innocent tree and came after him. People would find any reason to hurt him, even over a stupid piece of wood. He didn't mean to kick it in half, but….. he didn't know, something about the thought of weird-ass Anko getting her dango grubbing hands on the great Kakashi Hatake just seemed….unfair.
'Why?'
'Man, what does Anko know? She had the thing with Orochimaru and she's a bitch. Just the kind of wife Kakashi deserves! I don't care if they are together. So what? It's not like he's going to bring her home.'
Suddenly he was on top of the tree, slamming his fists into the bark like it did him some kind of wrong. Kakashi wouldn't dare bring that heifer home! If she were there, then Kakashi wouldn't pay him any attention!
No! Naruto would be damned if he was going to let her ruin what he and Kakashi had. He liked when Kakashi teased him in the mornings or made him slave over their meals and do laundry on Thursdays. If Anko came and took up all his time…dear Kami, Kakashi--Kakashi might not even want him around! He couldn't, wouldn't, let that happen!
Even if it wasn't Anko, it might have been someone else, anyone could take Kakashi away from him. He meant nothing to Kakashi. If his sensei found someone that amused him more, Naruto wouldn't even serve as a second thought in his head. A cloud of familiar despair blanketed him like a smokescreen. Kakashi would leave him without a second thought and there was probably nothing he could do to stop it. From what he understood, his fate had been decided for him before he could even speak. There would always be a part of him that drove people away. Neji Hyuuga might not have been talking bullshit after all. There were certain things about a person that they couldn't change. Naruto could modify and maybe even change everything about him, but Kyuubi would always be there as the reminder he despised that he would never be happy. Kakashi was his sensei, and that didn't mean all that much in the long run. Kakashi would leave him one day. Naruto wasn't sure why he never thought about what would happen when he finally got enough money to move out and back on his own. He wasn't even sure he wanted to be back on his own.
If he moved out, would Kakashi go back to treating him like an unwanted guest on his own team? Would Kakashi one day suddenly not want him around? Then what would he do?
When in doubt, be direct.
He was going to ask Kakashi about these things. Because nobody liked unpleasant surprises.
Sasuke was getting pissed. If Sakura didn't stop giving him that sad ass look he was going to fireball jutsu her ass to hell. Where the hell was Naruto when he needed him?
"Don't you ever shut up?!" He was trying to be calm, he tried to ignore her, really he did, but she started to whine and he just snapped. She looked at him like he had just hit her with the brick of bad news and blinked.
Sakura either must have been immune to his rejection or plain stupid. She simply blinked and said, "Well, if I shut up you wouldn't find out what happened next."
'What the hell?' Sasuke wondered if someone had taken her out to the forest and kicked the shit out of her or something. He failed to see the significance in talking to her at all.
Sakura on the other hand was so nervous without Naruto around that she couldn't stop talking. She knew Sasuke didn't like her, and she knew how annoying she was to him, as he liked to occasionally remind her, but really thought that if she tried hard enough, that Sasuke would show her that much more than his vengeful attitude had changed, so imagine her despair when she found that nothing had in fact changed. Sasuke Uchiha was still, and most likely always would be, a cold-hearted bastard. For her sake and not for his, she would shut up. He didn't need to know what happened next. Anyway, she was sure the significance of the conversation flew right over his head.
"Where do you think Naruto is? It's not like him to be late." She said more to herself than to him, nevermind the reference to him. He grunted, which could have meant anything from 'he's at home sleeping, what do you think?' to 'fuck if I know, fuck if I care'.
She didn't know why they always had to do that. Stand and wait on the bridge for lazy ass Kakashi for hours on end just to stand around and make conversation with people they disliked. She disliked Naruto, Naruto disliked Sasuke, Sasuke disliked Naruto and Sasuke disliked her. It was like a fight waiting to happen. Everyday.
'I hope he hurries.' Sasuke was giving her this dirty look and she didn't like it.
When Naruto finally brought his ass to the bridge, both of his teammates looked like they wanted to shish kabob his balls.
"What's up Sakura-chan, Sasuke."
Sasuke's face went from mildly annoyed to curiously worried immediately. "What's wrong with you?"
Naruto pretended to look appalled. "Me? Nothing. Can't a guy be late once in a while?"
"NO!" Sakura yelled and aimed one of her deadly strong punches at his head but Naruto did something he had never done before. He dodged.
Sasuke thought something went wrong with the world when he saw Naruto calmly and effortlessly dodge her punch like it was water. Naruto usually took her punches head on, and for him not to call Sasuke by his 'nickname' meant something wasn't right.
Sakura was awed for a moment. "Eh?! Naruto what the heck was that?!"
"What the heck was what? I didn't feel like being hit this morning. Can't a guy not want a bleeding lump on his head?"
"First you're late, then you don't greet me the way you normally do, then you dodge Sakura's punch. You never do those things. I know you only don't call me teme when you're depressed or something like that. So what's the deal?" That was probably the most Sasuke had said all month.
"Psh," Naruto scoffed. "Like you care. Nothing is wrong with me. Maybe something is wrong with you, ever think of that?"
Sasuke twitched. "Forget it, dobe. Nobody cares if you're on your period."
"His what?!" Sakura cried, looking over at Naruto like he really was on his period.
Sasuke just shook his head and sighed. How in the world did someone as annoying and stupid as Sakura ever become a ninja? Naruto was annoying, but at least he was powerful and fun to get angry. Sakura was drab and bothersome. Did she do that on purpose or was she really that dense?
Naruto kind of looked at her like she said the sky was green too. Seriously, boys didn't get periods. Where was she during 'the talk'?
"Yo." Kakashi greeted, popping out thin air.
Whether because it was a particularly stressing morning or because his team missed him, all three of them glared at him, pointed, and shouted, "It's about time!"
He tried to look as surprised as he could for being a guy with a mask and put his hands up to defend himself. "See what had happened was--
"Stow it sensei! Let's just start the mission already!" Naruto snapped, because only Naruto would say such a thing.
"Alright. Well, our mission is simple and I don't want anyone to--
"Yeah yeah yeah, hurry up!" Naruto impatiently yelled. Bad enough the asshole was late, now he was stalling.
"Calm down, dobe, the mission isn't going to disappear when we aren't looking." Sasuke was a tad impatient, but he didn't have to worry about anyone knowing, for he always looked impatient, like he wanted the world to just hurry up and end.
Naruto flipped him off casually.
"As I was saying," Kakashi continued, "The mission is a bit more difficult than you're all used to. We are to escort a Feudal Lord to the border of a country she is visiting. Like I'm sure you all know, most lords have assassination bounties out on them and things like that We don't know who are enemies are or if they will show up so that makes this mission an A-ra--
"YES!!" Naruto jumped up and down like he had heard the best piece of news in the whole wide world. An A-ranked mission! Sweet! This was going to be his third A-ranked, he was going to kick ass out there! And A-ranks meant big yen, especially from Feudal Lords!
Kakashi smothered his sigh in his hand. Only Naruto would be happy that they were going to risk their very lives for someone they didn't know.
They hopped off into the trees and took off for the Rice Country.
Naruto hadn't been counting on going back to Konoha unconscious in the arms of Kakashi, but oh well, they got their mission accomplished. Stupid Cloud ninja and their ridiculous jutsu.
He had to spend some time in the hospital with Kakashi and Sakura while Sasuke limped home saying that he could take care of himself. But that was okay, he did kick ass, just like he said he would, it didn't matter that he got his ass handed to him as well, he thought he rocked out there!
When he and Kakashi got home the first thing Naruto saw was the dishes piled in the sink and hoped, for Kakashi's sake, that Kakashi would keep his trap shut about it. There was no way in the world he was doing any dishes. He was going to meditate and then run down to Ichiraku's for some ramen. The made a lot of money for their mission, and by a lot I mean, like thousands of yen to split between them. It kind of scared Naruto to be receiving so much money for two reasons. One, he knew it would be gone faster than he could appreciate it, and two he knew he had enough money to get another rundown apartment.
Now was the perfect time to ask Kakashi.
"Kakashi-sensei?"
"Huh?" Kakashi replied stupidly. He was staring at Naruto, who was looking at the ground like it did something to disturb him. He wondered what was wrong.
"I-I have…."
"You have what, Naruto?"
"I mean….this mission…I've got enough money to move out…but…"
Kakashi got it then. Naruto didn't want to leave. "Na—
"I mean, I could go, and you could have your privacy back. Thanks for everything. I really did like staying here with you and I w--
"You don't have to go if you don't want to."
Naruto's eyes were getting watery so he didn't look up right away. "Really? I can stay? Even if I have money to move out on my own now?"
The Jounin smiled though Naruto couldn't see it and walked to the doorway of the kitchen. "Stay as long as you want. But now that you've got all that extra money, you could always run down to the market and get some groceries."
Naruto was instantly furious. "Argh! You Asshole!" He barked. Kakashi laughed and went to his room, glad that Naruto wasn't so depressed anymore about it.
So he wanted to stay with him? Did that mean that Naruto liked him in some way? Maybe he….cared about him? Maybe Kakashi was important to him?
'Maybe.' He mused. Anyway he was just happy that Naruto liked it there. If anything, the teasing would only get more satisfying from then on.
Kakashi said yes! Holy shit! Naruto wanted to scream and run around like a madman he was so ecstatic. He lived with Kakashi now! For real! He wasn't a houseguest anymore, he was a real roommate!
He couldn't jump through the roof like he wanted to, so he settled for a silent little jig instead. He was disgustingly happy right then, so happy he could kiss Kakashi!
…………..
Or not. That would be…..that wouldn't happen. Not that he would kiss Kakashi--better yet, not that Kakashi would allow Naruto to kiss him. Well, if Kakashi allowed it, then perhaps his happiness might sustain long enough to do it. But he didn't want to kiss Kakashi that bad. Even thought he MAY have been curious about that. Had Kakashi ever kissed anyone? He always wore that mask, did that mean nothing but food had ever touched his lips? Hmmm….that was something to ponder about.
More importantly did Kakashi have a girlfriend? Maybe not, he did allow Naruto to stay with him. Maybe he was lonely? Maybe he liked Naruto's company? Maybe he liked…Naruto? Maybe he cared for him?
He shrugged. Who knew? Kakashi liked teasing. For all he knew he was nothing more than a game for the Jounin to play when he was bored, which he looked a great deal of the time. Either way, living with him meant a lot to Naruto. He had never lived with anyone that liked him before. Of course he would have to deal with the 'wife' bullshit and the slave-driving, but that was what made things interesting, no matter how infuriating it actually was. It would have been a different story if Naruto were a girl. Then marrying Kakashi might have been on his list of things to do, but he was a boy and he was fairly certain that his sensei was straight, even with all of the crude jokes that seemed to defy sexuality, Kakashi surely liked women. He must have. Nobody that hot liked guys. Kakashi was strictly straight. Right?
Of course he was! And so what if he did happen to fancy guys, it wasn't like he would take a second glance at Naruto. Naruto was like a million years younger than him and wasn't very attractive at all. Even Sasuke would have a better chance, and in Naruto's opinion, he wasn't that great either.
Oh well, that wasn't what mattered. What mattered was that Kakashi wanted him to stay. That meant he wasn't terrible company.
All Naruto could hope to do was keep entertaining him, or keep doing whatever it was he was doing to make Kakashi like him. He wondered how much longer the games and teasing between them would be amusing. Would Kakashi always enjoy teasing him and bothering him? Would Kakashi get bored of him?
Naruto knew he had a problem with believing anything that sounded too good to be true, but the way he grew up, most things were. Nobody ever stuck around long enough to make much of a dent in this belief he had. Iruka wasn't always around, despite that people thought he clung to the Chuunin. Iruka was good, but was shared by too many. He was 'Iruka-sensei' to too many kids, and to Naruto that wasn't fair. If he never had anything for himself, he always had to share or go with nothing at all. That was just the way things had always been.
The best thing to do was to prepare himself for the worst and enjoy it while he could.
On that note, it was time to go to the grocery. Hey, he had to keep Kakashi happy.
When Naruto got back from the market, Kakashi was sprawled out on a couch in the den that wasn't there before, sleeping. Naruto carefully put the things away and tiptoed into the den. The closer he got the more his face fell until he was staring at the sleeping man sadly. Kakashi, even with his mask, looked so peaceful while he slept. It made Naruto sad to think that he would always be on the outside looking in.
He stood there and stared at Kakashi for a long time, noting little things about him that he hadn't noticed before. The way Kakashi never zipped his vest up when he was relaxed at home. The way he lay sprawled out indicated that he most likely wasn't used to sleeping next to someone. The way he pulled his hitae-ate down to cover most of his right eye to block out the light for a peaceful sleep. The way he could sleep so peacefully and trust Naruto not to yank down his mask while he dozed on. These little things made Naruto wish he could touch him, but he knew that if he tried he was just begging to be stabbed with a kunai.
He sighed softly and went back into the kitchen to make some tempura noodles--the right way--and sushi with bread rolls and sliced fruits and vegetables, which Kakashi liked. The sad look never left his face as he bustled around the kitchen to make he and his 'hubby' something to eat. While he waited for the noodles to boil he washed the dishes in the sink and dried them slowly, thinking about how an hour ago he would have argued with Kakashi until the end of the night to get out of doing them. It was a small price to pay to live with someone, even out of generosity.
He was glad he was going to be staying with Kakashi for a while longer, but as happy as that made him, it also made him sad. He and Kakashi weren't really what anyone would call friends. Kakashi treated him like a circumstantial prop on his team when they weren't inside of the house. Even when they were home, if Kakashi ever spoke to him, it was only to make him angry or embarrassed. Why did Kakashi agree to let him stay? It wasn't like there were any investments to protect.
In a cloud of depressing thoughts, Naruto had unknowingly put his head down on the table and wrapped his arms around them, so that when Kakashi silently stalked into the kitchen, it looked like he was crying.
"Is something bothering you?"
Naruto's head didn't snap up in surprise like it normally would have at the Jounin's presence. He reluctantly raised his head and gave a minute glance at Kakashi before he stood to go check on the noodles. "No. I was just thinking." He silently stirred the strings of noodles in the pot and watched disinterestedly as the bubbles of boiling water popped and blew up.
Kakashi stared at him but said nothing. That didn't mean he didn't want to know.
"I'm making tempura noodles and eel sushi with rice and bread rolls and all that other healthy stuff. The rice was a last minute thing." It wasn't like he had anything better to do with his time than cook rice.
"So, if you don't mind me asking, what were you thinking about?"
Naruto wasn't the idiot everyone thought he was. With a big smile he replied in a loud voice, "Ramen!" It beat telling Kakashi was really wrong, as if anything would come of that.
"Why didn't you just buy ramen if you wanted it so bad?" Kakashi wasn't really interested in his lie, still he wanted to see how far Naruto would take it.
"I forgot."
"Really?" Kakashi asked dryly.
"Yeah, is it a crime to forget things every once in a while?"
"For you to forget ramen, it may as well be." Kakashi answered smoothly, like he wasn't interrogating the boy. Of course not, he was merely inquiring about his lie.
"Well, it happened. Anyway, had a nice sleep?"
Kakashi shrugged and sat down. 'Had a nice time watching me sleep?' "Sleep is necessary to sustain consciousness and energy and rational thought. Nothing nice about it." He was lying. He was tired from not being able to sleep in the hospital because people kept trying to see his face and ask him out. It sounded cliché, but it wasn't like it didn't happen. The nap was refreshing. He would have slept longer, but he didn't enjoy hospitals and would never admit it to Naruto, but he was starving and would wolf down whatever things he cooked.
Naruto grunted and sliced the eel and rolled the sushi. Kakashi was going to be surprised how everything had turned out. He had been stopping by Akane-baasan's house for cooking lessons. The old woman was perceptive in her own right. Without him having to tell her, she knew why he wanted the lessons and asked how Kakashi was fairing without her cooking. Naruto jokingly replied that he just managed to scrape by, and almost never heard the end of it. At least he had learned something through the tirade she gave him.
"I'm glad my wife isn't bitching today. A nice hot meal should always be ready when I'm hungry." Who said dinner had to be awkward and dull?
"Stop being a chauvinistic dick before I throw this boiling hot water in your face." Naruto said with and unamused glare.
"Honey, that's no way to speak to your master."
"Oh I see. I'm not good enough to have a husband. Well you're not good enough to be one!"
"Oh honey, don't be like that."
Naruto cringed. Shaking hands struggled not to throw the entire pot of scathing tempura at Kakashi, he painstakingly served their dinner and managed not to throttle the Jounin somewhere along the line.
He sat down in a chair adjacent to Kakashi with a grumpy mutter. One of those days, Kakashi was going to meet with an embarrassing insult that would shut his trap for a good while. If he kept pushing, that day would arrive much sooner.
"I hope you like it, 'honey'." He drawled with fake hopefulness. He knew Kakashi would like it, and if he didn't, then he could go screw himself. He blew on the noodles and slurped it up slowly so as not to burn himself.
"I'm sure my wife does all he can to satisfy me."
Not only did he end up burning himself, biting his tongue and spitting the food out, he also somehow managed to get strand of tempura down his throat and choked on it. Kakashi stared boredly at him and asked calmly if something was wrong. Naruto looked at him like he was crazy, coughing and sputtering obscenities whenever he could catch a breath.
"You—cough—bastard--choke--I'm going to--ack--castrate you--cough!"
"You don't sound nearly as intimidating while you're choking." Kakashi observed.
When Naruto had stopped dying and cleared his throat, he had already thought up a mouthful of things to say. "What kind of shit was that?! Who said anything about satisfying you, I was doing it do be nice!"
Kakashi shrugged. "Whatever you want to call it."
"I call it jumping over this table and digging your eye out with this fork!"
"Now that's not very nice."
"I'm not trying to be nice!" Naruto stabbed at a defenseless roll of sushi with his fork turned weapon with a vehemence that would have made Gaara raise an eyebrow. If he had one.
"I know it's raw, but it is dead."
"Shut up before you join it!"
Kakashi smiled genially. No missions for the rest of the week. Fun was to be had and maybe he would get Naruto to blush more. He liked the way the boy's tanned whiskered cheeks lit up like a forest fire on his face when he was flustered, he was very much like Iruka when he did that. Minato had been impossible to fluster. But Naruto certainly was a site when he was pissed. His eyes had the most color when he was emotional or angry, and his hair seemed to bounce around more. Or maybe that was just Kakashi.
Naruto seemed to have gotten over his rage very quickly when he saw where he was and what they were doing. Kakashi hadn't got up. Did that mean--
Kakashi saw the look. And he had already planned ahead. Standing up and reached behind him and walked behind Naruto, leaning close to the back of the teen's chair and pulling out what he had behind his back. Naruto hoped against hope Kakashi missed the shudder that went through him at the contact.
"I trust you won't attempt to remove this while I'm eating. If you do then not only will I beat you into next year, I'll embarrass you in the worst way possible. You'll think Icha Icha was a slap on the hand. I'm serious." Then he tied the blindfold around the blonde's head and tightly secured it around his eyes. Naruto hissed a curse. "Fuck!" He thought he had Kakashi then. He should have known better.
Kakashi sat back down and dug into his food, this time taking his sweet precious time eating it, without wolfing it down like he always had to to make sure nobody saw him. He couldn't blindfold all of Konoha but his control of that situation was best asserted at home.
Naruto made an annoyed noise in the back of his throat. "What's wrong, those ruggedly handsome good looks not as rugged or handsome as you thought?" He implied innocently, trying his best to methodically work his way to a second victory in a row.
"Seeing me without clothes on makes up for that."
Naruto was very proud of himself for not slurping a noodle up through his nose at that. "Unless those nine-and-a-half inches aren't exactly accurate it doesn't." If anyone asked, that came out of his mouth without his consent. So much for another victory.
"Would you like to find out?" Kakashi offered with false hopefulness, smiling with an expressive show of teeth that Naruto couldn't see. Naruto promptly went rigid and dropped his fork, the metal clanging loudly against the bowl.
"No….no I don't want to see your penis Kakashi." He stiffly ground out.
'Of course I do, who doesn't?!'
But Kakashi didn't have to know that. Ever.
"Fine, suit yourself, I was just protecting the value of my assets."
"Whatever." The blonde uttered into his soup. Kakashi was just shameless was what he was. Try as he might, Naruto just found it hard to compete with a pervert of Kakashi's caliber, it was like everything the man said made him turn nearly purple with mortification. But in the forefront of his mind he knew that if Kakashi no longer found him amusing, he wouldn't like him anymore. So Naruto did the only thing he could do to make Kakashi's night. He said with as much sauciness as he could muster, "Save it for the honeymoon, Hubby-kun."
It was Kakashi's turn to nearly meet his end at the hands of a noodle, not that noodles hand hands mind you, it still would have been indirectly responsible for his demise.
"Something wrong, Hubby-kun?"
Kakashi assured himself that Naruto was trying to be funny and vengeful and that what he said had nothing to do with the fact that perhaps he was serious. Still, Kakashi's curious side couldn't help but play on the suggestion.
"When is this honeymoon?"
"I haven't decided yet."
Kakashi's mouth did a strange variation of a sneer and a scowl in an unconsciously dichotomous show of talent. Only Kakashi could pull off that look and manage to still be highly amused. Naruto was awfully bold that night. This delicate process of finding out if Naruto was remotely attracted to him was Kakashi's goal for the week effective now.
"Well you should pick a date before some other lucky person snatches me up." Naruto would never know it, but he was half serious.
To say that Naruto was thankful for the blindfold was a bit of an understatement. He almost instantly felt sad again. Too bad the fork he had in his hand never made it. The poor thing snapped cleanly in half in response to the sudden spike of emotion. It was just a joke, but it hit his nerves with an all too accurate impact.
"What the hell do I care if you find someone, you idiot!" he yelled before he could help himself.
'You'll only get rid of me. It'll only hurt me worse than anything. Nothing too serious, maybe I'll die a little inside, but you have nothing to worry about. At least you'll be happy.'
He would be happy with Kakashi. He was happy with him but it hurt because Kakashi didn't know and he couldn't tell him. Nothing hurt more than having the most important person in his life standing in front of him and he couldn't even tell him how he felt. So many things could go wrong. Kakashi could be disgusted, he could be condescending, he could use Naruto's feelings to hurt him like everyone else did. Even despite all of those things, the worst thing Kakashi could possibly do was hate him. Why did he have to go and mess things up like that? Why couldn't he just take the joke for what it was, a simple joke?
Kakashi on the other hand saw that things were taking a desired turn in his favor and decided that if he wanted to keep things amicable between them he would have to try harder not to upset Naruto. The broken fork lying on the table was the best thing that had happened all day.
"Alright, I guess if you don't mind, I'll find someone else to have my honeymoon with."
He expected Naruto to retort with something scathing, he expected him to say something sarcastic, but after a thick, nearly palpable silence, he didn't at all expect for Naruto to quietly, calmly stand up and walk out of the house.
Naruto didn't want to play games anymore. He loitered around Konoha for hours staring at the ground with blank despair. People whispered nasty things and pointed but he couldn't hear them. All he could hear was the sound of his heart breaking.
Why did Kakashi have to say that? Why did he have to crush Naruto's hopes like a crunchy leaf and then throw it to the wind? More importantly, why did Naruto make his pain so obvious, when he knew that nothing would be gained from it but more pain?
He had to go. He didn't know how much longer he could stand waiting for Kakashi to be taken away from him by some sweet pretty girl who probably deserved his affections more than Naruto did. Could Kakashi even be affectionate? Who cares, he thought somberly, I'll never find out.
Nobody thought it was unusual that the bright blonde ball of sunshine looked like a dull, blonde rain cloud as Kiba and Akamaru passed by and waved at Naruto who didn't smile and didn't wave back.
"Hey man how's it goin'?" Kiba loudly announced. Akamaru barked in recognition and they continued on the their happy way. Naruto vindictively hoped they choked on their happiness. At least someone would die happy. He was more than likely going to die sad and depressed and lonely and nobody would care. Not even Kakashi.
How was he supposed to compete with a beautiful woman? He wasn't anything special, save for the demon he shared his body with. He didn't have anything particularly striking about him that anyone would care to recognize. He wasn't good looking, and he wasn't smart. What would Kakashi see in him anyway? What was he thinking when he thought he even stood a chance?
Just the thought of it made him want to weep in frustration. Blinking back tears, he angrily sped up his pace and headed straight for the Hokage monuments, where hopefully someone would push his unsuspecting form off and he would fall to a blissful death. Ha, he snorted inwardly, even he wasn't that lucky.
When he reached the monument he climbed to the top and threw himself on the dirty ground, not caring about the pain in his elbows and head. It wasn't like he could hurt anymore than he was hurting then. As he laid there, face down on the ground he wondered how Kakashi reacted when he left.
'If he reacted at all'
He probably just shrugged and went back to his meal, or maybe he hadn't even noticed until nobody was there to wash the dishes. It may have only been a minor inconvenience to the man that he had left. Naruto knew it was stupid of him to think otherwise. Kakashi would find some hot little tart to do his dishes and he would go bother Iruka for amusement. He would be doing the things he did before Naruto came to stay with him. Naruto would be lonely and more than occasionally depressed, he would get his own apartment and live by himself again and people would keep on hating him for the things he couldn't help.
Everything would be back to normal.
Naruto couldn't help but feel more than a little jaded. It wasn't new that hope came and went like a passing storm. It was sad, but for him, it would probably always be that way. If the Hokage wasn't so secure about everything, he might be able to leave the village even if only for a little while. But the people of Konoha and its Hokage were a selfish and careful lot. They wouldn't have cared if he left the village had he been anyone else. With Jiraiya it had been safe, but nobody wanted a stupid demon brat on the loose. Control had to be maintained, and that meant he couldn't go anywhere.
He curled up on his knees and buried his head between his arms.
He figured he better get used to the idea of being lonely and fucked up for the rest of his life. Nobody wanted him and that was they way it was. Kakashi would move on in a heartbeat and Iruka would one day find someone for himself and Naruto would be left with even less than nothing. It was just the kind of life he'd always envisioned for himself until he moved in with Kakashi. Then there had been…something. At first he wasn't sure what that something was, but he had heard stories about it. People said it was a fluttery, happy, warm something. Kakashi made him feel all three of those things and more. Maybe they were just stories, but Naruto knew that there was a distinct difference in the way he always felt and the way Kakashi made him feel. It was definitely something.
And now it was nothing. His best bet was to suck it up and move on. He had his money and he would pick his things up from Kakashi's house, if the bastard hadn't already put them outside, when Kakashi was out.
A shadow loomed over him like and umbrella in the sun and he looked up, ready to give whoever it was a generous piece of his mind because right then he was feeling very charitable at the moment. Whatever he had intended to say died in his throat upon seeing a tall, lanky, silvered Jounin taking a seat next to him without a word.
Naruto tried not to look shocked but he was and the look on his face wasn't helping. "W-why are you here, Kakashi-sensei?"
He didn't answer for a long time, but Naruto didn't mind, because he was actually hoping Kakashi would realize that he was wasting his time and leave. "I believe I'm here to cheer you up."
"What makes you think I need cheering up?" It was a valiant effort but Kakashi wasn't going away.
"You stopped acting like yourself about an hour and a half ago." Kakashi stated matter of factly.
Oh goody, Kakashi came to tell him that he wasn't being good entertainment. What was he going to do next, threaten to kick him out? Unfortunately for him, Naruto was way ahead of him.
"Please leave me alone," he whimpered miserably. He hadn't even meant to sound so dejected.
He knew Kakashi was watching him and vaguely wondered if the man was amused by what he saw.
"So I take it that means you don't want to talk."
That was exactly what it meant.
Kakashi still had yet to take a hike.
"Then I guess I'll do the talking."
'But I don't want to hear what I already know you're going to say'
"What I said in the kitchen…"
'No'
"Did that make you upset?"
Naruto feigned ignorance. "I don't remember what you said."
'I don't want to'
Kakashi wasn't sure how he was going to go about it without assuming anything that would infuriate the blonde. If he was wrong, then he would have one very pissed off fox vessel on his hands and nobody wanted that.
"Well I said something and you left, I thought it was something I said."
"Whatever it was, it was a joke. I fail to see why you would think a joke could offend me." Naruto toned stoically, a voice that sounded too much like someone else for it not to be obvious that something was wrong.
Kakashi was going to dance around a bit more with it, hoping that maybe he could cause another reaction and confirm what he hoped was true. Obviously something he said was affecting the boy, and from the looks of Naruto's fetal, curled position on his knees, it wasn't the humorous affect he had intended for it to have.
"When are you coming back?" Naruto stiffened visibly. Kakashi had an unpleasant feeling about it.
Naruto's mouth felt dry. He didn't know why it was so hard to just say it. He was moving out. Kakashi didn't care, so why did his tongue feel like a dry stone?
"I decided I was just going to get my own place. I thought about it, and I figured that I didn't want to be in your way or…something like that," he finished tiredly. He didn't know why he felt the need to explain.
' I don't want to ruin any chances you might have of getting lucky.'
"Something like what?"
Why was Kakashi being so inquisitive? Was it to rub it in his face? Pour salt on the wounds?
"I thought I asked you to leave me alone." If he were as nonchalant as Kakashi were, when Kakashi finally left, it wouldn't hurt so much.
"And I thought I ignored you."
Naruto bristled on the inside but kept quiet. When the Jounin realized that Naruto wasn't playing games anymore, he would give up and go away. And leave him all alone. That was what was supposed to happen.
"As I was saying. Why are you leaving? I thought you were fairly content with staying with me, what changed your mind?"
'Can't stand me? A lot of people find me hard to stomach, Naruto'
Things were not progressing the way he would have liked. At all. Naruto didn't look at him nor did he move from the pathetic position he was in.
"It's nothing, okay?!" Naruto snapped, wishing there was a hole he could crawl into and disappear. He could almost feel Kakashi not believing him. It was blaringly obvious that it was something, and Kakashi was not leaving without an answer.
"I'd like it if you stayed."
'And I'd like it if you left me alone' Naruto was torn. Biting sarcasm or the cold shoulder? He couldn't hurt Kakashi. Not him. He didn't mean anything to Kakashi to be able to hurt him. All Kakashi saw him as was a walking, perverse form of verbal entertainment. He had some nerve making Naruto feel the way he did.
Kakashi figured now was the best time to try it again. "I really like you now."
Naruto didn't freak out. He didn't gasp, or get angry. He stared. Kakashi didn't know what that meant.
"Yeah I know." Naruto finally said. "I amuse you, it makes sense you'd like me." He stomped on the 'for that' that wanted to be a part of the sentence.
"Yes, well, but you have to give me some credit, I do care about you a great deal. That's why I'm here and won't go away. A shinobi who breaks the rules is trash, but a shinobi who leaves his friends behind is worse trash."
"You left me during the Chunnin Exams, funny how you suddenly care now." Naruto knew it was a low blow, but his pride could withstand the ramifications if it had to. He'd experienced damage to far more crushing degrees before.
Okay so maybe that was the wrong quote to use at the moment, but Kakashi duly noted the hurt in his voice. Naruto's mask was so much better than his and it drove most people up the proverbial wall of endless annoyance and for him to make the pain he felt so obvious meant a lot. It meant that he was closer to figuring out why Naruto wanted to leave him.
Naruto opened up a little and Kakashi figured that if they were going to be talking about caring then he might as well let it go. "Sasuke was…" He found himself censoring his earlier thoughts, "less likely to be clingy. I want to say that he and I really did have more in common, but I'm getting old and I don't think that excuse is valid right now."
Finally he had Naruto's attention and finally the younger ninja unfolded from that sad position and sat up. Finally he looked like he was listening.
"At that time I didn't want to train anyone who could possibly start to care too much for me, or I would care to much for. Despite your lack of couth and rational intelligence, you were too easy to like. I know more about you than most people do, even Iruka-sensei, and I still manage to find a way to see the good traits you have. I didn't like it, so I shrugged you off and chose Sasuke because he doesn't give a shit about anything but revenge and he was convenient at the time, I must say."
Naruto brutally maimed the hope swelling in his chest lest he get too ahead of himself and ensure certain emotional pain due to rejection of some sort, in some fashion. Kakashi was watching the sun set in the distance and from where he sat he couldn't see even a patch of skin but he knew the older man had a look in his eye most people had probably never seen before. He silently waited for Kakashi to continue, swallowing down the urge to say anything because he could feel the emotion in his throat cracking and he knew that if he misinterpreted what the Jounin was trying to say that his voice would come out very wrong.
"I have a hard time allowing people to like me and generally go out of my way to be an asshole to anyone who I could potentially like. I don't have any friends, Gai doesn't count, he's more like a spandex-clad travesty that won't leave me alone, and it isn't because I'm unlucky and socially inept. It's because I don't allow those sorts of connections to be forged. I had people I cared about at one point in my life. I had a team and a sensei and at one point I was like Sasuke, and when I finally came around to appreciating them, it was too late. They were gone."
Naruto thought he heard a foreboding sigh from his sensei.
"So, I told you a little something about me, why don't you tell me something about you?"
"What don't you know about me? From what I hear, you have me mapped out pretty well." He wasn't sure if it came out sounding snide, but the initial point was to evade having to tell anything Kakashi didn't know. Kakashi was perceptive and very observant and if he didn't know something, that either meant he was better off not knowing, or the person with the secret was better off if he didn't know. That or it was none of his business. Naruto decided whatever he may have been unknowingly keeping to himself fell into the category of 'things Kakashi doesn't need to know'.
"Why are you moving out? I never did hear the answer to that one. Of course, if you lie, I'll know and I won't leave you alone for the rest of the day, and that includes after bedtime." He could hear the smile in Kakashi's voice.
How to pull off a spectacular lie even the great Sharingan Kakashi couldn't see through? Naruto contemplated broodingly and sighed resignedly. What was the worst that would happen? What he currently had was: living all alone, being hated by nearly an entire village, living all alone, a sensei who would look right through him if he didn't raise his voice, teammates who would just blink if he died, and living all alone.
What he would have if he divulged his deepest secret was: living all alone, being hated by nearly an entire village, living all alone, a sensei who would look right through him if he didn't raise his voice, teammates who would just blink if he died, living all alone, being a depressed emo when nobody else was around, and a long, lonely future due to lack of good looks, luck, and destiny, and living the rest of his ninja life as a raging homosexual in the eyes of the person he cared for and liked the most.
Both of the choices were almost equally unsavory. 'Take a deep breath Naruto…'
"You're a lazy, perverted, bastardly, asshole-ish, cruel, sarcastic, sadistic, vindictive, vengeful sonofabitch, a total dick, a complete jerk, and horribly aggravating." Naruto inhaled quietly.
Kakashi had slowly turned to face him as the list grew longer, and his already droopy lids drooped further. Did Naruto have to have so many of them? It was a near fatal blow to the hope settling in his chest, almost extinguishing it immediately. So he had his answer. It was plentiful, stabbing, hurtful and true. And he had tried so hard to be nice.
"But I really like you." He didn't say it in the same cheerful voice Kakashi had used, but in a sad, tired, regretful voice. Kakashi felt the hope inside of him flicker back to life. Naruto really liked him. One more well-aimed shot and he would have all the reason he needed.
"I know. I amuse you, it makes sense that you'd like me." The quote was handy.
Naruto shook his head woefully. "I mean I…you know I….I know you're…straight and a—
"And how do you know this?" Kakashi was interested now. Progress was going along much more his speed. At least he thought all of his approaches were rather telling.
Naruto seemed taken aback by the unvoiced possibility that Kakashi was not straight like he thought. He would find time later to think unpleasant thoughts of potential guys Kakashi might have liked. Right then he had self-esteem issues to battle.
"Even if you...maybe do like guys, I know I don't have any business liking you that way. I'm not anyone's idea of a good catch. I'm not good-looking, I'm not smart, and I'm not normal. I'm not worth looking at twice, except those wary looks people give me when I don't smile or those angry looks I get when I smile too much. I know. I'm not…I'm not Sasuke. I'm not Neji, there's nothing special about me. It took me far too many tries with Sakura to realize that. I know I'm impossible to like but I try hard to be what people want me to be and I can't. I tried to shrug it off when you made those jokes about finding someone. I couldn't even do that. It's so stupid, and I don't expect you or anyone else to look at it any other way. I like you Kakashi. I like you a lot. I know that when you finally find someone to be with and don't want some lovesick kid hanging around, it'll hurt me. I couldn't shake that feeling. Nobody has ever liked me enough to let me live with them, nobody has ever joked around with me or made me happy and mad at the same time like you do. It's a nice feeling and I didn't want to lose it."
Kakashi wanted to smack Naruto. Hard. Then he wanted to drag his foot all up and through the boy's ass until he coughed bloody self-worth. But he was an understanding sensei, who didn't want to scare the best thing he ever had off. He settled for a silly smile and a shake of his head.
"Where did you get all of that from?"
Naruto's heart creaked. Kakashi was going to heartlessly tear him to ribbons.
"First of all, I'm glad you're not like Neji, and I thank my stars everyday you're not like Sasuke. Secondly, you're intelligent in your own way. You're right, you're not normal, but you manage impress me all the time. As for being good-looking, I don't know what Sakura did to your self-esteem, but that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Personally I think you are the most the attractive out of the three of you and don't think I haven't noticed how much you've grown. And it's not impossible to like you; Hinata Hyuuga nearly kills herself trying to get you to notice her. She's loved you since you were in the Academy, only you never seemed to notice that. You do lack one thing: observational skill. You are special, very special, and it has nothing to do with the fox. I hadn't realized what a number people have done on you. They make you think you aren't worthy of anything, when you deserve everything. What I said in the kitchen was a joke to gauge your reaction. I didn't think it would end up like this. I'm sorry."
Did that mean that Kakashi cared about him at least? Liked him? Was he thinking too far ahead? Was he pushing his luck?
Naruto smiled sadly. Kakashi thought he was worthy, and good-looking and special, but he didn't like him. Not they way Naruto liked him. Naruto wouldn't be lonely, maybe, but Kakashi couldn't like him for everything he was. First off, he was young. More than ten years Kakashi's junior, he was practically jailbait. Kakashi would just look at it as a little boy crush that he hoped Naruto would get over soon. Naruto feared differently. He knew he liked Kakashi a great deal, but he was scared to think that he could even possibly love the Jounin. And Kakashi didn't love him. He couldn't.
"That's nice, sensei. Thanks," was all he could think to say. It wasn't his fault that he didn't sound so thankful.
"That's it?" Kakashi said. "I've been hitting on you for weeks, I told you that I liked you, I even made you smile a little, and all you have to say is, 'that's nice, sensei, thanks'?"
The look on Naruto's face was a look that would be forever etched into his head. The boy's eyes got big and watery, his mouth slightly open, and he turned to face him just like that, with that beautiful, relieved, happy, loving look on his face. Then he lunged at Kakashi.
Kakashi almost fell over but held on to the sobbing teen to him, rubbing the blonde spikes gently to sooth him. Naruto snuggled his head into Kakashi's chest, sniffling softly, so happy he could tell the world.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!!"
"Haha, for what?"
Naruto pulled away with his hands around Kakashi's neck and whispered, "Everything."
Kakashi hadn't hugged a person since his father was alive and while the feeling wasn't new, he didn't think it would feel as good as it did with anyone other than Naruto. The boy's body was soft and warm and felt so right against his own. He could feel the tears against his neck and this made him smile wider.
"Wait," he pushed the blonde away and a confused look came across Naruto's face. Was he changing his mind?
"I…." Kakashi looked down past his face and to the ground and he could feel the familiar disappointment and hurt edging around his psyche.
"Is it alright if I kiss you, Naruto?"
The younger boy blinked for a while as he hadn't expected anything like that. Before he could give much thought to it, his head was already betraying him.
At first he assumed, for some reason, that the man would kiss him with the mask on. Kakashi slowly took it off. Naruto just stared. It wasn't a shocked stare, or a displeased stare, or even an admiring stare. It was just a long, long stare. Kakashi looked back at him, hoping that there wasn't something on his face or something.
"I'm not all that surprised by the way you look. Everything else about you was attractive, it makes sense your face would match….that an I can't think of a way to describe you so…"
"Hm." And whatever kind of kiss Naruto was expecting, he certainly didn't think it would start out as a lick. The tongue painted his bottom lip with saliva before Kakashi's mouth followed suit, a soft, but firm kiss that made him sigh and his arms tighten and twitch around the copy-nin's neck.
"Well," Naruto started after they pulled away, "this, I can get used to."
Besides, he had a feeling that Kakashi's kisses were one in a million.
END.
Yeah I know! No smex?! I didn't want to overdo it or tax myself out so I just left something cute at the end. So guys, I hope you enjoyed all of Situational Hazard and I hope you read other fics I have in the future. A super thanks to all who reviewed this fic and OMG! I'm so glad you all liked it and I hope in the future I can begin taking requests. However, there are certain things that would bore me to write. And I want to stick to short stories for a while unless I change my mind. For now folks, Ja.