Damaged Chapter 25: Home, a big time rush fanfic

Just a heads up, I refer to my earlier story, "Big Time Traumatized" in here. But it's small, basically just referencing the first chapter. I'm sure you could get away without reading it.

I highly suggest listening to the songs mentioned in here. It adds to the seriousness and meaningfulness of it. :)

So much fluff it may smother you. I'm sorry. :P

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Chapter 24

Home

"You with the sad eyes, don't be discouraged. Oh I realize, it's hard to take courage. In a world full of people, you can lose sight of it all, and the darkness inside you, can make you feel so small." - 'True Colors' - Cyndi Lauper

The car ride was slow, thanks to the infamous L.A. traffic, but nobody really minded. They were all focused on the passing city outside their windows. Logan rested his head against the cool glass, while they waited at a red light. The relief of finally going home was almost overwhelming.

Logan watched the people waiting at the crosswalk, he watched the people at the store across the street, he watched the people walking down the sidewalk. All of them living normal, everyday lives.

Logan sighed and closed his eyes. He wished more than anything that they had that; a normal life, without all of the drama that had happened over the past few weeks. He wished that his friends and their families hadn't had to suffer through that. He felt so guilty.

Logan then felt three hands on his shoulders and arm, and he turned around to see Carlos looking at him with concerned eyes. Kendall had a hand on Logan's arm below Carlos' and James had a hand on his other shoulder.

"Logie?" Carlos asked softly.

Logan smiled. Here he was, surrounded by his best friends, who were currently worried about him. They were worried because they cared about him.

Logan nodded. "I'm okay." He said softly.

Carlos smiled and James and Kendall rubbed Logan's shoulders comfortingly. Logan knew, he had the best friends in the world.

Finally, the van pulled up to the Palm Woods. "Aaah." Kendall sighed. "A sight for sore eyes."

Everyone piled out, and Carlos quickly unfolded the wheelchair. Then James and Kendall helped Logan in, and they started towards the entrance.

"Is your foot okay?" Mrs. Diamond asked as she rubbed James' shoulders.

"Yeah." Logan said concernedly. "You really shouldn't be carrying me around like that. It can't be good for-"

"Will you two just relax?" James said with a hint of annoyance. "I'm fine. Really." He assured, then looked to Logan. "You need way more help than I do Logan, and I'm more than happy to give it."

Logan hesitated, but smiled at James. Though he noticed the increasing glare Mrs. Diamond was sending his way, and quickly ducked his head.

They all made it to the elevators and piled in. With so many people it was a tight fit, but they managed. And really, Mrs. Diamond and Gustavo were the only ones uncomfortable with the closeness. Carlos snickered to himself at them, and the boys couldn't help but join in. Kelly whacked Kendall across the chest lightly, being the closest boy to her, and they sobered up. . .Slightly.

The doors dinged open and everyone piled out, heading towards 2J. Kelly and Gustavo shared a knowing look that confused the boys.

They made it in front of the door and Kelly turned around to face them. "Now boys,". She began sternly. "I want you all to remember to take it easy. You're all still healing and I don't want the excitement to make you forget that. Do you hear me?"

"Yes Kelly." Kendall said irritatedly. "We get it. We won't do anything too strenuous."

"We promise." The boys said together.

"Can we go inside now?" Carlos asked eagerly, leaning anxiously on the handles of Logan's wheelchair.

The others smiled, even Gustavo. "Alright." Kelly said, then opened the door for them, allowing them to walk ahead.

"Surprise!" Everyone shouted in the apartment. Mrs. Knight, Mr. Garcia and Mrs. Garcia stood in the kitchen, while Katie, Camille and Jo were in the living room. Above them hung a big banner that read 'Welcome Home Guys!'. The boys stood in the front entrance shocked.

"Mama!" Carlos yelled and ran to his mother's arms.

"Carlos! My baby!" Mrs. Garcia said as she hugged him tight. "I'm so glad you're okay."

"I missed you mom." Carlos said into her shoulder.

"I missed you too honey." Mrs. Garcia replied.

"What is all this?" Kendall asked.

"What's it look like?" Jo said as she approached him, giving him a small kiss on the cheek. "It's a welcome home par-I mean social gathering." She smiled.

"How did you get this past Bitters?" James asked.

"Social gathering fee." Kelly said.

"Aaah." The boys said in understanding.

"I can't believe you did this." Logan said, shaking his head.

"Aaah it's no big deal." Camille waved off as she approached them. "Bitters doesn't really care as long as he gets a fat check for it."

Logan smiled at her, then ducked his head. "That's not what I meant." He mumbled softly.

"I know." Camille said softly with a small smile. "But the other thing isn't worth talking about. Of course we'd do this for you guys. You're all amazing, you deserve it."

Logan looked up at her, and she smiled at him reassuringly. Then he looked around the room and saw that everyone else had the same smile on their faces. Logan finally smiled and nodded. "Thanks." He said.

"Yeah." Kendall piped in. "Thanks, you guys. This is amazing!"

"Well, wha'do ya say boys?" Jo asked. "Are you ready to partaaaay?" She yelled and everyone cheered.

The party was a hit. They'd all eaten the snacks and foods, played games, told stories, and had fun.

Camille and Jo, decked out in full costume, took the 'stage' in front of the TV and began reenacting a scene from 'Romeo and Juilet'. Camille played Juilet of course, while Jo played Romeo. The girls assured everyone that back in the day, it was common for women to play men's roles. Everyone cheered and applauded and complimented the girls once it was over.

After that, everyone took a little break and just hung out with each other. The adults hung out in the kitchen, while the others took the living room. Logan sat on the couch surrounded by Camille and Jo, with Katie in front of him, telling him all about how the Palm Woods was without the boys there. Jo and Camille added their bits when they could, all of them making Logan laugh.

Kendall, James and Carlos had disappeared to the bedrooms. After a while, Camille and Jo disappeared too, and it was just Logan and Katie on the couch watching TV.

"We still haven't found his mom." Mr. Garcia whispered in the kitchen. Everyone watched Logan concernedly.

"I wonder where she could've gone." Mrs. Diamond whispered back.

"I don't know." Mr. Garcia whispered. "We're looking everywhere. The house shows no sign of a rushed packing. We're thinking maybe she had a suitcase all ready for such an occasion."

"That would make sense." Kelly whispered.

"What's going to happen to Logan?" Mrs. Knight asked quietly. "His father's dead. His mother is missing, and being charged for child neglect. He's still only seventeen."

"Won't he have to be put in foster care?" Kelly asked.

"Maybe." Mr. Garcia said. "But not right now. Mrs. Knight still has temporary custody over him. We don't have to worry about it until that wears out."

"What are we gonna do?" Mrs. Knight asked softly, tears shining in her eyes. "We can't lose him."

Mr. Garcia wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "We'll figure something out. Don't worry, I will not let that boy be taken away from us again."

Mrs. Knight leaned into his strong form, and the other moms joined in the group hug, while Kelly rubbed her arm comfortingly. Gustavo just stood awkwardly as he watched.

Finally, the guys and the girls all came back from the rooms and stood in front of the TV.

"May we have everyone's attention please?" Kendall announced. Logan turned off the TV and everyone watched Kendall curiously. "First off,". Kendall began loudly. "I'd like to thank the girls for that amazing performance. It was really sweet and we love you guys for it." Everyone clapped and cheered as they bowed.

"But also,". James picked up. "They inspired us to give a little performance of our own." The boys shot gleaming smiles to each other, and then to Camille and Jo, who were by the stereo. Jo was putting something into the CD drive. Everyone else shared confused and curious looks.

"We know this party is for all of us." Carlos began. "And we're forever grateful that we have such awesome friends and families to do something like this for us." He smiled at everyone, who smiled back.

"But today,". Kendall continued. "We'd like to dedicate a special song, to our best friend, our brother." The boys all turned to Logan, and Logan frowned in confusion.

"Whoa, hey, guys. You don't have to do anything for m-" Logan started.

"Please." Kendall raised a hand to stop him. "Just, let us talk." Finally, Logan relaxed back into the couch. "Logan,". Kendall continued. "We've been best friends for a long time, and we thought we knew everything about each other."

"Turns out we were wrong." Carlos said sadly. "You were hiding this dark secret from us." Logan ducked his head in shame. "You were dealing with it, all alone. And we had no idea,". Carlos' voice started to break. "How much you were hurting." A tear slipped down his cheek, and James wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

"But we know you were doing it to protect us." James picked up. "We still don't understand how strong you could be during all that. And we wish more than anything that we could've helped you back then."

"But now that we know everything,". Kendall continued. "We are going to do everything that it takes to make sure that never happens to you again. You'll never have to deal with anything all by yourself. We'll always be there for you. But you have to let us."

Carlos sniffled, composing himself. "And to prove that fact even further, we've chosen this song, just for you." He said as cheerfully as he could.

"So lay back,". Kendall started. "Shut up,". He added playfully at the protesting hand Logan rose. Logan reluctantly complied. "And please enjoy!" Kendall finished with a smile, then nodded to Jo, who then pressed play on the stereo.

The boys took their places in front of the couch, and everyone else took places around it to watch them. Then the music started playing, 'The Last Night' by Skillet.

Kendall sang first:

'You come to me with scars on your wrist
You tell me this will be the last night feeling like this'

Then Jo came in:

'I just came to say goodbye
I didn't want you to see me cry, I'm fine'

Then Kendall took it again:

'But I know it's a lie'

All the boys sang together:

'This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere, you want me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything, you need me to be'

Then James took the lead:

'Your parents say everything is your fault
But they don't know you like I know you
They don't know you at all'

Then Camille stepped up:

'I'm so sick of when they say
It's just a phase, you'll be okay, you're fine'

James took it back:

'But I know it's a lie'

All the boys sang:

Then Carlos took the lead:

'The night is so long when, everything's wrong
If, you give me your hand
I will help you hold on
Tonight, tonight'

All the boys sang:

Kendall led the last part:

'I won't let you say goodbye
And I'll be your reason why
The last night, away from me
Away from me'

The song ended and everyone cheered and clapped and complimented. Then they all turned to Logan.

Tears hovered in Logan eyes. "I. . ." Logan fumbled. "I don't know what to say."

The boys smiled and surrounded him in their arms.

"Thank you." Logan whispered tearfully.

"Always, Logie." Kendall whispered. "Don't ever forget, that we're always here for you."

"No matter what." James whispered.

"Alright boys." Jo said playfully, yet gently. "Our turn." She and Camille took the boys' spots in front of the couch.

"Right." Kendall smiled and the boys sat on the couch with Logan; Kendall on his left, James on his right, and Carlos beside James.

"What's going on?" Logan asked.

"Shhh." Camille hushed gently.

Jo went over to the stereo and put another CD in. Then she turned around to face Logan. "Logan. I know we haven't known you for as long as these guys have,". She waved a hand at the boys, and Carlos shot a proud smile to her. She smiled back. "But, in the amount of time that we have known you, we've learned what an amazing person you are."

Logan ducked his head as his cheeks flushed in embarrassment. Then he shot a worried glance to Kendall that clearly said: 'Are you okay with your girlfriend taking to me like this?'

Kendall smiled and with his head, gestured back to the girls in a way that said: 'Of course, now stop complaining and just listen!'

"Logan,". Camille began. "You're the most considerate, nicest, selfless person that we've ever met."

"What you went through. . ." Jo began hesitantly, staring at her hands. "We couldn't begin to imagine how hard it was to deal with that all by yourself." She looked up at him. "Logan. . .You're the bravest person I've ever known."

"Brave?" Logan couldn't help but ask quietly. He let out a small, bitter chuckle. "Those were the scariest moments of my life. There wasn't a time when I wasn't scared out of my mind. If I'm anything, it's far from brave." He said miserably as he stared at his hands in his lap.

"We understand why you would feel that way." Camille said patiently. "But please believe me when I say that you're wrong." She said with such determination, yet gentleness, that Logan looked back up to her with teary eyes. Camille almost choked on her own tears at seeing Logan's doubt in his eyes.

"Logan: The brains of the group." Jo recited gently. "You of all people should know that bravery doesn't mean not being afraid of anything. It's doing the right thing, even when it scares you. Even when it hurts you. Even when you don't feel that brave. True courage isn't never being scared; it's when you put yourself in harms way to help someone else, when you protect the ones you love. That's true courage."

Then Jo smiled. "And I happen to remember a time when you did put yourself in harms way to save someone else." She said playfully, then turned serious again. "You once saved my life Logan. I could never thank you enough for that. And apparently, you've also been saving their lives this whole time too." She said as she waved a hand to the boys, then smiled at Logan. "You're brave Logan. And stronger than you realize. We couldn't be happier and more grateful that you, all of you, are in our lives."

"But enough talk." Camille smiled. "We have a song for you too, to prove how proud we are of you Logan, for being so courageous."

"You guys don't have to-"

"Logan,". Jo said sternly, but with a smile. "Stop fighting it. We care about you, and we want to do this for you." She said gently. Finally, Logan nodded, and Jo smiled, then played their CD. The intro sounds of 'Courage Is. . .' by The Strange Familiar, filled the living room.

Like Kendall had before, Jo took the lead:

'Take all my vicious words
And turn them into something good
Take all my preconceptions
And let the truth be understood
Take all my prized possessions
Leave only what I need
Take all my pieces of doubt
And let me be what's underneath'

Camille joined in behind her:

'Courage is when you're afraid,
But you keep on moving anyway
Courage is when you're in pain,
But you keep on living anyway'

Camille took the lead:

'We all have excuses why
Living in fear something in us dies
Like a bird with broken wings
It's not how high he flies,
But the song he sings'

The girls sang together:

'Courage is when you're afraid,
But you keep on moving anyway
Courage is when you're in pain,
But you keep on living anyway,
You keep on living anyway'

Jo took the lead:

'It's not how many times you've been knocked down
It's how many times you get back up

Courage is when you've lost your way,
But you find your strength anyway'

The girls sang together:

'Courage is when you're afraid,
Courage is when it all seems grey,
Courage is when you make a change,
And you keep on living anyway
You keep on moving anyway
You keep on giving anyway
You keep on loving anyway'

The song ended and everyone cheered. The girls had tears running down their cheeks, and so did the parents. Once the cheers settled, the girls turned to Logan.

Tears ran down Logan's cheeks, and he was desperately trying to get control of himself. "I. . ." He tried in a cracking voice, then dropped his head, trying to control his tears.

The girls wrapped their arms around him and he cried into their shoulders. Soon after, everyone else joined in the group hug, wrapping their arms around Logan and each other. With the exception of Gustavo and Mrs. Diamond.

Logan had never felt so safe, and loved in the middle of everyone's caring arms. He wanted badly to stop crying in front of everyone, but he just no longer had the will power. He cried, surrounded by what he had wanted and craved for all his life; Love.

"Thank you." Logan whispered.