Anime: Prince of Tennis

Summary: In my three years in Middle School, never have i hated him for being so Perfect. I respected him, admired him and aspired to be him. But was that all i felt for that stoic man?

Disclaimer: I don't own Prince of Tennis and any of it characters.

How long has it been since I updated... i don't know. Well, anyway, finally! the latest chapter is here... and it still isn't the ending. I have an ending but i just don't know how to connect it. Btw, my finals are next week, I can't update for that whole week... and wish me luck for my exams! I'll be needing lots of it. Thanks for all those who reviewed, read, and story-alerted, favorited and uh... look at?... hehe. enjoy!

Zero Hesitation With a Poker Face

Number one, I regret passing that paper to the teacher.

Number two, I think I should have passed the one about my cousin.

Number three, my translating was sooooo wrong.

Number four! I think the teacher thinks I like Tezuka. The moment I gave him the paper, he gave me these creepy looks.

Aargh! I'm such an idiot. I should have never done such a stupid thing. Aaaah! The rumors will start again, I'm gonna die. What to do? What to do? What to do?

I know! I shall commit to Suicide...

WRONG

So, what do I do? I can't tell Sadaharu because I think he'll tell the whole team (you can't trust him when it comes to secrets). If I tell Renji, he won't even give me an advice, he might just give me a smirk. Nooo! My life is ruined! My reputation, my dignity… my… uh… what?

Ok, so maybe I should just stay calm and be as confident as I've always though I've been. Pretend that I love my project so much. Pretend that it's the best thing in the world. Just. PRETEND.

When everyone finally left the classroom, I grabbed all my things and dumped it in the bag. I got my mp3 from my bag and chose a song by UVERworld (Hmm, you can call me a crazy fan. Thanks to BLEACH). I attached the earphones to my ear and walked slowly out of the room. I softly sang a song while daydreaming, but I simply can't recall what I was daydreaming about. I think it must have been the video of the song. Well… who cares?

Then I felt a tap on my shoulder. Isn't this the scene when the murderer puts a gun on your head and tells you to slowly pass your bag. Or even the scene, when the guy would grab me harshly and rape me. Or… oh shut up. I turned around to meet the eyes of…

OUR ENGLISH TEACHER

Whaaa, okay, what should I do? Run? Pretend that I saw a ghost, scream like a lunatic and run around. Nooo! He'll think I'm crazy! Ok, uh, quickly grab my phone and pretend I had a phone call… No! I left my phone at home.

Uh… uh…

"Amasawa-san," too late, he finally spoke.

"Ah, uh, sensei?" I said, stuttering.

"I need to ask you something about - - -"

"About what sensei?" I quickly interrupted, "About my English grades? Please help me get better so that I could pass the high school exams. I know I could do better. Or, is it about my sleeping habits, awhile ago. Sorry, I was just so tired from last night. I had a lot to study! Sorry!" I ended bowing.

"Amasawa-san, I really don't have any idea of what you're talking about but, I just wanted to say that your project… surprised me" he replied

SURPRISED? What was so surprising? My grammar? Well, wasn't that expected? Oh wait, does he mean that it was about Tezuka.

"Someone passed me something quite similar." He paused, I was confused. "Only, that he had better grammar." He added almost in a whisper.

Oh please, don't tell me about my grammar and compare it with someone's so much better. IDIOT.

He took out a paper form his folders and gave it to me. I received it and looked at it. I didn't need to speed read this time. The first paragraph said it all. The last line read,

Her name was Amasawa Amai.

The first person that immediately popped out was none other than Tezuka Kunimitsu. He continued talking, "The thing is, there is no name and it was sent anonymously. Do you have any idea who wrote it?"

Should I say? No, this should be OUR secret. I don't want anyone to know about it. And so, I replied "Is there anyone in third year that didn't pass, yet?"

'The funny thing is that everyone passed. Meaning someone sent two papers."

"What makes mine similar to this?" I asked. Truth is, I never really knew what was similar. I mean, yes we were talking about the opposite person but… whats so similar about it? It's not like Tezuka and I have similar personalities.

"It's the fact that both of your projects progressed from first year to third year. It seems to me like both of you were classmates and that for the next two years, haven't been classmates again. There is also that thing about you and Tezuka, and the anonymous guy and you being close-- "

I interrupted, "Wait, wait, wait" I was waving my hands up. "Are you implying that Tezuka wrote this paper that I'm holding at the moment?"

"Just a wild guess," He answered casually while adjusting his glasses. Yes, people, my English teacher wears glasses too and also has the tendency to actually adjust it when he has a point to say.

"Sorry, sensei, but I really can't help you with this. I'm quite happy that someon has at least written about me and about how much he has respected. But I just don't want to do anything about his." I bow down to him and walk off.

"Actually," he suddenly stated, "It's not a guess." I stopped at my tracks. "Remember the rumor going around the school about you and Tezuka. He included it and wrote it down in first person. He, himself, admitted, by stating anonymously, that he is Tezuka Kunimitsu."

I turned to look at him wide- eyed.

"oh, and did anything happen between you and Fuji. And also that incident in Enoshima, I' m a little curious--" I didn't let him continue. I stomped my way to him and snatched the paper from him and said, "Let me borrow this for a moment!"

I ran, yes,I know it's technically not called borrowing since I may not be returning it but who cares. From afar, I could hear sensei say, "With whatever you do, GOOD LUCK!"

To tell you the truth, I didn't think of running. It was more like a reflex. My body moved on its very own. But, the moment I ran, one thought came in my head.

I had to get to Tezuka's place.

IMMEDIATELY!

I know, I'm an idiot but I want this to finally end. I want to end our mysterious conversations, our weird actions, and our unreasonable meeting in the infirmary. I want to be casual with him. I just feel like we're both hiding something and I don't even know what in the world it is. I'm just really tired of it.

Is it only respect that I feel for this guy?

Tell me, please, Tezuka, tell me.

The moment I got to the front door, I thought about knocking or maybe even turn around and run away. I held on to the paper tightly and thought about tearing it into pieces. I stood there for a whole minute just waiting for someone to notice my existence. My hands weren't steady, they were shaking. I wasn't ready, and I didn't even know what I was doing there. Let's see, if I were to tell Tezuka about the project, what will I say? Wait, he doesn't even know that I know about it. Darn it! Now, I don't even know what to tell him. What am I doing here in the first place?

I gave up and turned around, only to find the one and only Tezuka Kunimitsu right in front of me.

"Amasawa-san, may I know what you need?" he asked, shocked by my sudden appearance on his doorstep.

By instinct, I threw the paper at him, which I crumpled, by accident. The I just burst, saying any thing that came to my mind. I felt exactly like a dog that just kept on barking... but just had this intellectual thought in it. You understanding me?

"Why in the world did you pass that damn paper, Tezuka?" I started, " What in the world went wrong with that smart brain of yours? Did you even think about what you were writing when you made that! Haven't you thought about the probability that a rumor might come up! And it so darn obvious that you wrote that. You were the only one in the Enoshima Incident who told me to get out of your life. You were one of the few who knew that I said no to Fuji, you were ALWAYS there. Tezuka, you amuse me. No, not in a good way, but in a way that makes me think that you have this unreasonable side in you. I'm flattered, I thank you very much but please, just please, I beg of you, don't do this ever again! For goodness sake, think about what you do before you actually do it!" I took a deep breath and let out a sigh.

"Amasawa," he said, I can't believe he even has the guts to talk so calmly while I was shouting at the top of my lungs. "Yes, I did write this but I completely have no idea how this landed in your hands."

"It didn't damn land in my hands! It landed in the hands of the English teacher." I yelled.

Silence. He didn't respond.

Then he said, "If it's with him, how did it end up with you?"

I looked up at him. Oh, please, something is obviously wrong in this situation. "You're not shocked that it was sensei?"

He shook his head and said coolly, "I gave this to him, not as a project but as the truth."

Wait, wait, wait. Truth? What in the world is going on here? Sensei isn't some philosophy teacher that teaches us the basics of truth. He didn't ask for a project that asked about the TRUE person who you trust. Why couldn't he just settle with the project about his grandfather?

"Sensei asked me once if the only one I truly respect is my grandfather. My answer was yes. Only later did I realize there was also someone else."

"Wait, and you're saying that that someone else is me?" I asked

"Yes," he replied with no hesitation.

"And you, with no hesitation AT ALL, handed this to Sensei anonymously and mysteriously?"

"yes"

"And how in the world did you think he would know it was you?" I asked, I was already very irritated. The fact that he was still very calm was one of the reasons. The other reason would be that he calmly handed the project to sensei... with NO HESITATION.

"He'll just know. There are certain things in life that you have to be sure of. And I knew for some reason he would find out." He said, and for some reason he sounded like a philosopher. I could picture Aristotle right behind him or something. Or maybe even Socrates... goodness. I'm back in history.

"Well, obviously anyone would find out based on the content of that thing." I said. Ok, I'm playing stupid. Awhile ago, I asked him how in the world would sensei know it was him and now I'm saying that of course he would know because of the content. My goodness, am I really thinking about what I'm saying?

"Listen, I just wanted to ask you about it, to clarify things and to damn get mad at you and now that I'm done, I can leave." I walked passed him after he gave me a nod. He smelled different today, must have been the laundry soap. It didn't really smell like cologne or anything.

"Ah, Amasawa" he said, calm and cool again. What does he want now? I turned to look at him. He was fumbling through some things in his bag and took out a very familiar book. MY book. I gave this to him months ago. He shoved the book to me, I grabbed it and hugged it tightly. I swear, I MISS MY BOOKS.

"Wasn't it a great book?" My mood suddenly changed. My goodness, I'm having mood swing problems.

"Yes, it was very entertaining." He replied

"Stephen King just rocks"

He nodded.

Ok, maybe I'm going crazy and thinking that he's going to go crazy with is just too much. He's an ass and an idiot, what am I supposed to expect from him?

"Well then, bye!" I said and left him silently. I opened the book and found a message inside. The paper was folded in half and writted on it was my name with Tezuka's handwriting. I opened it and was greeted by a very long message.

Amasawa... The message began with that single word, my name. It continued:

Thanks for lending the book to me. I found it very entertaining and suspenseful (as expected form Stephen King). But I didn't write to talk about the book. I'm writing because I need to discuss something with you...

I ended reading there. Reading while the streetlights go red and green wasn't such a good idea. The moment I arrived back home, I lounged on the bed and continued reading.

Truth is the Enoshima Incident is still imprinted in me. Yes, our so-called friendly relationship is back on track but I could still feel the effect of that incident inside me. All I ever wished was that it be taken away. I assume that I have forgotten about it through the nationals, but it seems to still lie in me. It's hard not to think about that certain feeling. I feel like I've been carrying something very heavy this whole time. I meant that, every time I talk to you, school-related or not, I feel like there is only one thing left for me to say. And its an apology. Amasawa Amai, I am very sorry for the faults that I've made. Sorry for all the pain and hurt I've instilled in you and please forgive me.

But what seems to strike me as surprising is the fact that other than the Enoshima incident, I don't know what else I'm sorry for. I can't recall of anything else that I've done. It seems that that incident made a huge impact on me that I thought it could tear me away. I hope it didn't do the same to you.

Please, forgive me and thank you.

-Tezuka Kunimitsu

I looked at the message again, fell on my pillows and started thinking. I never knew Tezuka had carried so much pain. I didn't know it all. He seemed like the perfect Tezuka to me. He just never anything. My goodness, his poker face is priceless. It works anytime. Well, at least no I know I wasn't alone in that pain. It was only me, Tezuka and that rainy storm that knew exactly what happened between us. Tezuka just seemed to have changed under that weather. He shocked me. The feeling after that incident faded as soon as I got close to him again. It felt better that way... I was happy... and I'm sure I made him happy, too.

Oh... and of course, I'll forgive him.

First thing tomorrow... I will see him... talk to him... forgive him

A/N: Did you guys miss me? hehe, watch out for the next chapter...