A/N: this is a work of fan fiction and not meant to infringe upon the properties of Kirkman/Moore/AMC.
Now that I have caught up with the show, I am taking the lead from the comics. I am hoping to skew it in just the right way that no one will be truly spoiled :). If you'd like to listen to the Redemption Playlist, you can find it by searching for Leah Pensotti on YouTube :) it features songs and artists mentioned in the story as well as chapter names :)
Redemption (The Road to Alexandria)
By Leah Pensotti
Chapter 25: A Little Bit Stronger
Once Anna got over the initial shock of her face, she cleaned up a bit and Rick helped her to bed. She asked Rick to retrieve the bottle of Maker's Mark from the bedside and she propped herself up to relieve the pain in her left side. When Rick opened handed her the bottle, she immediately took four large gulps without flinching. Rick raised his eyebrow and she just shrugged.
"It's medicinal. I've seen westerns."
Rick looked dubious, "Are you okay?"
She took another swig of bourbon, "I will be. I'm upset about my face. I know that's stupid. I could've died. Got eaten alive. Turned into one of those things. I lived. And I am upset about my pretty face not being as pretty as it used to be."
Rick chuckled, "It's silly. But I understand."
"There is an entire hunk of flesh missing. From my face. In the old world...crow's feet was a fate worse than death. I started using night cream at 25. I'm going to need to adjust. It might take awhile, if I am being honest. I know that is extremely shallow, and I am struggling with that, too. It's definitely not how I want to be."
Anna just wanted to sleep. She wanted to wake up the next day with a better attitude and outlook. Rick sat beside her on the bed and looked at her with a unsure expression.
"Want some music?"
"I just need some sleep, I am hurting. Will you lay with me?"
"I will in a bit, but it's still daylight right now. I'm going to go check on the clean up and tend to the kids. But I can't wait to spend some time...just you and me."
He kissed her forehead and then her lips and shut the bedroom door behind him. Anna felt herself slouching further and further, the bourbon finally having it's desired effect on her body and mind. She felt light and relaxed and it wasn't too long before she fell asleep.
Anna dreamed about Dawn Lerner. In her dream, she killed her with her own bare hands. Then the dream switched to Phillip, his scorched flesh after the bomb was dropped...he told Anna there was no hope, none in this new world. She could smell the burning...and finally, she dreamed that she gave birth to a baby...a walker baby...
She woke up screaming and tangled in the bed sheets. She was sweating and crying and manic from the dreams.
Anna heard hurried footfalls on the stairs and Rick and Carl holding Judith all appeared at the door. Judith's eyes were wide and scared and Anna instantly started to calm down. She took long inhales of air until her heart wasn't thumping in her ears any longer.
Rick looked worried, "Bad dreams?"
She nodded hurriedly, "Yeah...Yeah...I will be ok. Just gotta calm down."
Anna wiped her eyes with the back of her right hand and leaned back against the pillows. The adrenaline pumping through her body made her hand shake and Rick walked to her side of the bed and pulled her to him.
"Whatever it was...it wasn't real. You're here with us."
She nodded her head, even though she felt that there were hints of truth to her dreams. Her own subconscious hit below the belt that way. She looked to the window and saw it was dark outside.
"What time is it?"
Carl shrugged, "Ten maybe. Just getting ready to put Judith to bed."
She sat up and looked at Judith, she desperately wanted to hold her. Anna wished she was well enough to do so. Carl and Judith said their goodnights and Rick followed them out to tuck them into their respective beds.
Ten minutes later Rick returned to the bedroom and shut the door behind him. She watched him as he readied himself for bed, which was exquisite torture for her, because she wasn't well enough to do the things she wanted to do with him, either.
And oh, the things she wanted to do with him.
When he finally came to bed, Anna realized how big and awkward she felt in the bed, like all the swollen and achy parts of her had grown ten times their normal size. He gave a relieved sigh and leaned back on his pillow.
"Wanna tell me what woke you up?"
She looked into his blue eyes and gave him a wan smile, "Nightmares of nothing good. Tell me about the clean up. The plans. Going forward."
"The herd. The bodies...are all outside the wall. They are burning them. Tomorrow we lay our own to rest. Then Abraham and the construction crew are set to reinforce the walls of the and build the perimiter pikes. Then we go on. Build, grow...survive."
Anna nodded, "I wish I could help."
He chuckled at her, "You will. Just not at the moment."
She felt herself blush, "There's other things I want to do, too. Like be able to touch you..."
Rick flashed her a sly, sideways grin, "Well the good news is...I can still touch you."
Anna burned brighter than she had ever burned before.
The next day, Rick helped Anna wash her hair and dress for the memorial for their dead. No matter what she thought about the wound on her face, Rick knew that she was still the most beautiful creature in this world. Once Anna was in her black sun dress, Rick fastened the string of pearls around her neck and helped her down stairs to the wheelchair.
Rick watched her as Carl brought Judith over to her and she smiled and stroked the baby's face with her right hand. Anna wanted to hold Judith so badly that it pained him to watch.
Carl carried Judith and Rick pushed Anna down to the lot near the Monroe home where five new headstones and graves had appeared. No one had seen hide nor hair of Spencer since Maggie went to tell him about his mother.
Rick didn't know whether or not they should be worried.
As the town gathered, Father Gabriel welcomed them and began his eulogies. Rick looked down at three of the graves, wondering wether or not his actions had lead to the end of Jessie and her kids. Anna looked somber and unreadable. He knew what she was thinking; she had dug three of those graves herself...to save Carl.
Gabriel recited the same verse from Revelation that he had when they laid Reg and Pete to rest, and before he could finish, Spencer came out of his home...unshaven, drunk and still black and blue from their last encounter.
"You all didn't care...about my mom! Leave! She is dead because of you. My father, my mother and my brother are all dead! All because of what Aaron brought back in...Rick and his people."
Spencer stumbled over and stood a foot from where Rick and Anna stood. He looked at Anna in the wheelchair and yelled even louder, "See what he does, Anna? You are in a wheelchair because of him. Your face is ruined. He comes in and takes things that don't belong to them and he breaks them."
Rick stepped forward, ready to do what was necessary, but a hand flew up from the wheelchair to stop him. Anna looked up at him and shook her head and then turned to Spencer defiantly, "Spencer. Go home. You're upset. We all understand. But now is not the time."
Spencer shook his head and Rick stayed emotionless, "He's got you wrapped up in all his pretty words. All his lies. You deserve better, Anna."
Aaron approached quietly and took Spencer by the arm and lead him away from the cemetery. Gabriel never got to finish his passages, or the funeral, after everyone watched Spencer walk with Aaron and then the congregation dispersed to their homes.
Rick pushed Anna home and Carl lagged behind with Judith, talking quietly to Enid. Anna didn't say much, and that worried him. She usually had plenty of things to say.
Carl and Enid went ahead indoors to play with Judith and Rick stopped short of the porch steps and sat on them, directly in front of Anna.
"Anna...your face is far from ruined."
Then he recognized it, she was fuming. So angry that she didn't have words.
"I should've just let you kill him."
Rick sighed, "I know you don't mean that. You wanted to be his friend. You believed there was good inside somewhere."
She shook her head, "I was wrong. Completely wrong. And stupid. He never wanted my friendship. I was just something to have or win in all of this. The day you and Daryl ran home, when the wall was breached, he showed up at our door. Wanting to run away with me. And leave his mother here. What an asshole."
Rick was shocked by this news, but ultimately knew what kind of a person Spencer Monroe turned out to be, "You didn't tell me about this?"
"Because I knew you'd kill him, you promised to. And like a fool, I thought he would have gotten the point after I punched him in the face and told him that anything we had, friendship or otherwise was done. He is a total chicken shit."
Rick chuckled unexpectedly, he had never met a more surprising little spitfire than Anna and he always got a little thrill when she cursed.
"Why are you laughing?"
"Because I would've done just about anything to see you lay Spencer Monroe out. I'm really kind of upset that I missed it."
Anna smiled inspite of herself, "It really hurt, but I tried to play it cool."
Rick took her by the right hand and helped to hoist her up so they could ascend the porch steps and into their home with their family.
a/n: hello lovelies! Thanks for the read/reviews. I am overwhelmed with the love that people have for Anna. Special thanks to Katarzyna88gb, guest, Smclendon and May85. I love hearing from everyone :)
The next chapter will fast forward a bit in time. Can't wait to hear from everyone!
if you haven't yet left me a note or a review, please do! I would be ever so grateful :)
love, Leah!