(A/N: Sorry for the little hiatus. Quizzes had me busy, and then Christmas vacation had me lethargic. Oh well. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all!
Disclaimer: Oh, who am I kidding? You all know I don't own Gravity Falls, or even the Reverse Pines AU. I just own this version of it.
The first thing that Gideon Gleeful noticed as he woke up that morning was that it was incredibly noisy. It was as if a fanfare were playing something outside the house, so Gideon stood on tiptoe on his bed to get a glimpse of what was happening outside the window.
Outside his window, there were booths being set up, and rides being fixed together for the big day that was today. He couldn't smell anything from his room, but Gideon was sure that if he opened the window, his nose would be tickled with the familiar scent of corn dogs and iron.
Of course. Gideon had known this day was coming, after all.
"Hey, 'Cifica–" he started to talk, but then noticed that the bed right across his was empty.
" 'Cifica?" Gideon looked around, searching for anywhere his friend could be in the attic. Not in her bed, and then after a brief search of the room, not in the room. Outside, then.
Quickly, the nine year-old got himself ready, with his cap, vest, and shoes (he figured he could take a shower right after he checked out what was going on), and then he walked out the door, down the stairs, and into the gift shop, which he could see was already open in anticipation for the early visitors. Mr. Northwest's cons know no bounds, Gideon thought to himself.
Speaking of no bounds, he walked out of the gift shop, and faced himself with what was bound to be one of the biggest schemes Bill Northwest had done yet.
The Magic Fair.
"Isn't she lovely, kid?" Gideon heard a shrill voice call him, and when a long arm slung itself onto his shoulders he was sure it was Pacifica's uncle. "The cheapest fair money can buy!" The magician gestured with his cane to the structures coming up around them, the fair itself still under construction. "Well, cheap for me, not so cheap for the fair-goers," Bill continued, walking Gideon around to an open space where Robbie was currently working on what looked like one of the booths.
"And you know what the best part is, kid?" Bill grinned down at Gideon, and Gideon suddenly felt apprehensive. "I spared every expense!"
Well, that was a good thing, right?
Apparently not, Gideon realized as he heard a scream coming down from behind them, and then a crash.
"Uncle Bill," Pacifica Northwest pushed open the door of what was once a sky tram car, "now I'm really sure that the sky tram needs a little more improving."
"H-how?" Gideon tilted his head to look a little more clearly at the broken car, and then at his friend to make sure she hadn't sustained any injuries.
"Eh, don't worry 'bout it, kids!" Bill reassured them with a cocky tip of his top hat. "It'll probably be working fine by th'time 'ya ride again! And speaking of 'working fine', I've got a job for you." He took off his hat, reached inside of it, and pulled out a clipboard on which was attached several legal-looking documents. "I've printed out a bunch'f fake safety certificates for the Magic Fair." With that, he handed Gideon and Pacifica the clipboard. "Just slap one'f these on anything that might send us to the courthouse."
"Mr. Northwest, isn't that illegal?" Gideon asked Bill, taking the clipboard and looking the fake documents over.
Bill snorted. "Come on, kid! When the cops're away, anything's legal!"
The magician then took up his cane, and walked up to the booth that Robbie was working on. "Hey, Rob!" he said to the handyman. "How's the dunk tank comin' along?"
Robbie turned off the blowtorch he was currently working with, and pushed up his face mask so he could look at his boss. "I think I'm done with the target, Mr. Northwest," he said, and Bill walked over to said target board to make sure. He tapped the board firmly with his cane, yet the seat inside the tank didn't budge.
"Ha! All we need is the water and pretty soon they won't know what hit 'em!" Bill laughed. "Nothing in this world could knock me down now!"
"Except for maybe a laser gun from the future," Robbie looked his handiwork over.
Bill suddenly stopped laughing – strange, since the magician was prone to laughing fits – and regarded the sixteen year-old in front of him for half a second.
He knew that look. That train of thought.
He rolled his eyes at his own train of thought. "Ugh." Then another came to him suddenly, and he patted his coat pockets thoughtfully. "Hey, Robbie, you haven't seen my screwdriver 'round, have 'ya? Can't find it anywhere." He bent down and rifled through the tool box for what felt like the fifteenth time that morning. Dammit, I'm gonna lose it if I don't find that thing.
"Maybe some supernatural creature took it, like-like a dwarf who's laughing at your misery." Robbie suggested.*
Bill frowned up at the teenager. Hide surprise, sound smart. "I'm tellin' 'ya, you've been spending way too much time with those kids."
Robbie just shrugged and went back to working the blowtorch on the target board, just to be safe. Bill turned around to look at the kids behind him. "Hey, kids, have you–?"
Then he realized that they had heeded his instructions and were now putting his fake safety certificates on the rides. He watched them walk around the fair, and sighed to himself, trying to make it sound more like a laugh than an ache in his stomach.
I really wanna smoke right now.
Unbeknownst to the magician, behind the portable toilets crept a strange man, watching him with an unreadable look on his thin face. Then he looked to his wristwatch, holding Bill's screwdriver up with his other hand.
"The mission is proceeding as planned," he whispered into the videophone that was his watch. "Over."
He turned the screwdriver onto a certain port in the watch, twisting it until his jumpsuit camouflaged itself into the correct surroundings – the Magic Fair. Then he walked away, unseen by anyone.
The Magic Fair started operations at 11 in the morning, letting people spend their lunch hour attending what was Bill's latest scheme. And now it was 12 in the afternoon.
Speaking of Bill...
"It's twelve o'clock! The Dunk Tank is now open!" the magician's squeaky voice shouted through the speakers, followed by the loud screech of feedback. The patrons covered their ears at the squeak. Curious others went to the dunk tank, with the sign "DUNK-LE THE UNCLE" hammered on top.
"Yeah, that's right!" Bill said once he took one look at the people that came to the dunk tank. "How 'bout you try your luck at this, Mr. Ugly?" he called out to a rather less-than-attractive man. "And you too, Make-Up!" he told a lady who was putting on what looked like the third layer of make-up.
As he teased and insulted more people, more money came into the dunk tank booth to pay for a ball to hit the target with, to try and dunk the magician, only to watch all the balls bounce off the target – just as Bill intended.
"Hah, that's right, people!" he laughed hard, wiping a tear from his eyes. "Come back any time you want!"
Melody just rolled her eyes at the spectacle. Typical Magic Man. She turned to the two kids beside her. "Hey, you two havin' a good time?" she asked them.
"Never been better!" Pacifica chirped. She leaned over on one foot, and turned to her friend Gideon. "What about you, Gid?"
Gideon blinked, and said shyly, "Well, everythin's goin'...nice, I guess."
Melody chuckled. "Don't worry. Hey, guess what? I'm gonna go find you something to eat. What about those corn dogs?"
"Oh, oh!" Pacifica pointed at a separate booth. "There's cotton candy!"
"What do you think, Gideon?"
"I..." Gideon looked at them, and tried to smile, "...why not both?"
"Awesome!" Pacifica cheered, and walked off to get cotton candy, while Melody flashed a (beautiful, beautiful) smile and walked to the corn dog stand. Gideon's eyes darted from one stand to another before walking over to the cotton candy one, tapping Pacifica's shoulder. "Psst. 'Cifica."
The twelve year-old gave some dollars to the person over the counter, who handed her two sticks full of bright pink cotton candy. She turned on her heel to face her friend. "Isn't this great, Gideon?" she asked him. "We've finally got some together time with Melody! And all you had to do was ask her to be our chaperone, like one of those grown-up people!" She fist-pumped the air. "Pow!"
"I don't know, 'Cifica; I'm not feelin' so sure now," Gideon said, taking one cotton candy stick from her. "I mean, this is nice, I'm not gonna lie, but...what if Melody had other plans, y'know? Like, she might've wanted t'go wit' her friends and all..."
"Don't worry about that, Gideon!" Pacifica reassured him. "Melody said 'Yeah, okay,' so there's no way anything can spoil our fun!"
Just as she had said that, however, a shadow loomed over the two of them – and when they looked up, they knew that its source boded no good.
"Heh, wow, didn't expect to see you chumps sittin' round here," Soos Ramirez said, shoving his hands into his pockets. "I guess that means Melody's around here too."
"And what if she was?" Pacifica said, staring the larger man in the eye. "What's it to you?"
Soos replied by taking a chunk of cotton candy from Gideon's stick, and the appalled nine year-old was reminded of the term "taking candy from a baby". (Not that he was any baby, but still.)
"Just wanted to ask her something quite important – not that you dudes would know anything about it." Soos regarded them with a haughty air, and then shrugged. " 'Till then, I'll just be looking 'round this fair." He laughed. "Bill Northwest's a cheapskate, you know that?"
Pacifica glared up at him, but said nothing.
The handyman chewed on the piece of cotton candy. "See 'ya – when Melody's around," he waved them goodbye.
The twelve year-old scoffed. "Ugh, he's such a jerk."
"Yeah, but what can we do?" her friend said. "I mean, he's one of Melody's friends. He's technically got a right t'see 'er."
"Remember, Gid," Pacifica put a hand on the nine-year old's shoulder, "Melody knows he's a jerk, too. And you know what? There is nothing in this world that will stop me from helping you have a great time wi– OH MY GOSH A CHICKEN!"
Immediately she dropped everything, and Gideon watched in surprise as his friend took off like a jet towards what looked like a chicken booth, according to the "WIN A CHICKEN" sign.
Melody showed up beside Gideon, holding up two corn dogs. "Wow, where'd Pacifica go?" she asked. Gideon turned to her, half-shrugging. "She really wants a chicken, I guess."
"Hm." Melody passed a corn dog to Gideon, who took it with his free hand.
Pacifica ran past throngs of people, trying to reach the booth where she would meet a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. She pushed past a couple of bikers, before hearing the voice of a carnie call out: "If you can guess the ol' chick'n's height, you can take the chick'n home!"
The twelve year-old stopped at the barrier separating her and the chickens, looking around at her prospects. There was a few chicks, and a hen, and some more chickens around the booth before her eyes stopped upon...the most gorgeous rooster she had ever seen. Its tail feathers were long and shiny, and its beady eyes fixed upon hers the moment she looked at it.
A clucking sound came out of its mouth, and Pacifica gasped.
"It said 'Pacifica'!" she exclaimed. "Well, either that or 'buck unicorn'." She leaned over the wooden barrier, still looking the rooster in the eye. "Did you say 'Pacifica'?"
The rooster simply made the same clucking sound, and that was when Pacifica knew it was destiny.
"Hey, check that out!" A familiar gruff voice said behind Pacifica, and she turned around to see Mabel's cronies Candy and Grenda, the latter holding up a cellphone to take her picture. "Pacifica found herself a true friend!" When this was said, the two girls laughed between themselves, and Pacifica glared at them before they disappeared into the ground.
"Oh, heck no," she said, before turning to the carnie. "Excuse me, sir, I've got to get that rooster," she pointed at the rooster she had admired. She would prove to those two that she wouldn't be humiliated by them.
"Ah, the old one-eight footer!" he said, looking at the rooster, before pointing a finger at the girl. "So, what's your guess on the height?"
"Um...one foot, eight inches?" she asked, guessing by what the carnie just said.
He stared at her for a moment, before asking her, "...Are you in any way a witch, little girl?" He seemed to contemplate this for half a second, before reaching down with his cane and pulling the rooster forward, and picking the chicken up to hand it to Pacifica. "Anyway, here's your chicken, fair and square."
As the rooster clucked at her, and everyone around her including the carnie applauded her victory, it was as if Pacifica had hit the jackpot. The chicken did not in any way squirm in her grasp, and in fact it was rather docile even after a few seconds passed while she was holding it in the air.
"And you'll be needing these," the carnie said, giving her a pamphlet which title read, "How to Prepare Livestock for Dinner". When she looked at him in offense, he took the cue, and pulled it back, saying, "Suit yourself, little lady."
She looked at the rooster again, and slowly began to embrace it, feeling rather giddy when it accepted her hug. Then she looked up at the sky.
"Everything is different now," she said in hushed awe.
"Well, that dart game was fun," Melody said. "Heh, yeah, we didn't win anythin', but it's all fun and games," Gideon said, and paused to look up at her for an anxious moment, but Melody didn't seem to mind. The older woman simply smiled, and sighed in a way that made it seem like a laugh.
"Well, check that out!" she then pointed at a stall displaying a few stuffed trophies. "That's gotta be one prize I want on my wall!"
"Mm," Gideon looked up at it, finishing the last of his corn dog. The two of them walked up to the booth, looking at the game they had to play in order to win the aforementioned stuff toy. It seemed that this was another one of those trick games – the game in which one tossed a ball at a stack of three cans in an effort to knock all of them down.
"Hey, 'Cifica's uncle told us somethin' about these games," the nine year-old suddenly felt like adding. " 'Yer s'pposed t'aim at th'carnies head, an'then take the prize when they're knocked out."
Melody laughed. "Typical Bill," she said. "Yeah, I definitely want that now." With that, she handed a ticket to the man behind the stand. "One ball, please."
"You only get one shot," the carnie warned her as he handed her a baseball. Melody then handed it to Gideon. "Wanna do the honors?"
"I-I guess," Gideon accepted the ball, trying not to sound flustered. She gave him a thumbs-up, and he moved his hand back, feeling sure that he was aiming for the center of the pile-up, and then threw the ball forward.
But instead of hitting the pile dead center, it hit the table on which the cans were placed, and bounced back towards them – or more accurately, towards Melody's face, where it hit her point-blank in her left eye.
She let out an expletive the nine year-old was sure he wasn't supposed to hear, raising her hands to cradle her eye, and Gideon put his hands up in panic. "Sweet mercy! A-are 'ya alright?" he asked.
Melody took a deep breath, before lowering her hands from her face. "How does it look?" she queried, quite in pain from the black eye she now had.
Gideon put his hands up to cover his face. "Don't worry, I-I'll get some ice! Stay here!"
The nine year-old then ran off in the direction of the Magic House, into the kitchen where a sack of ice sat in the freezer (at least his memory hadn't failed him). He pulled it out, and then ran back outside into the Magic Fair, where it seemed a large crowd of people was standing in between him and his objective. However, Gideon managed to keep running, and it looked as if he could make it in just five seconds–
–but then he collided with another person's knees, causing the sack of ice to fall out of his grasp, the ice cubes spilling out of the bag.
"Ow," he said, before opening his eyes, and kneeling down to the ground, having retrieved the empty bag. He pushed the scattered ice into the bag, looking up to the man he had bumped into. "I'm so sorry, sir," he managed to say, but the man didn't even acknowledge him. In fact, the thin bald man just grabbed his only possession that had fallen onto the ground – a tape measure – and got to his feet before running into the crowd.
Gideon had just gotten the last ice cube back into the bag, before he heard a familiar voice from in front of him – and it wasn't Melody's voice.
"Alright, dude, just ease your eye into this snow cone right here."
"Thanks, Soos," Melody told the handyman in front of her, who was now holding a snow cone to her black eye. "For the gesture, and the extra snow cone. You're so thoughtful," she said, taking the aforementioned extra snow cone from him.
Gideon reeled back, feeling rotten. He wasn't even able to offer a proper apology when this was his fault, and now Soos was here.
"Oh, uh, here's the thing," Soos began to say, his eyes darting left and right. "So, I was just meaning to say...we've been hanging out a lot, and I just wanted to say that..."
"You wanna go on a date with me?" Melody asked, with a raised eyebrow. When Soos looked back at her with amazed eyes, she nodded. "Yeah, sure, I wanna go on a date with you."
"What, really? That-that's awesome!"
Gideon couldn't help but gape.
Had that just happened? Right in front of my eyes?
Apparently it had, just as the ice he had so hastily scooped up now burst out from the bottom of the ice bag.
"Well, I mean, right now, dude," Soos said as he started to lead her away from the booth by the hand. Melody pressed her lips together. "I don't know..." she said, "I've got a – oh, Gideon!" She noticed the nine year-old standing by, and waved at him. "Do you mind if Soos borrows me for a little while?"
Gideon felt like he should have denied her request – deep in the pits of his stomach, though he wasn't quite sure why – but he shook his head. "N-no," he said. "You can go have fun, t'gether and..."
"Okay then," Soos seemed to roll his eyes, but that gesture went unnoticed to Melody, who waved him goodbye and then went with Soos on their first date together.**
Gideon was still staring after them when Pacifica walked up to her friend.
"Look, Gid!" she exclaimed. "I won my pet chicken! I call him Feathers, because of his tail feathers!" Proudly, she stroked them. "They're so shiny!"
However, he didn't pay attention. Instead, still in shock, Gideon murmured, "Everythin's diff'rent now, 'Cifica."
"Why? What do you mean?" Pacifica asked, and Gideon pointed to the new couple who was climbing into the first car of the Tunnel of Love and Corndogs.
"...Oh," the twelve year-old frowned, her bright mood faltering.
For the rest of the day, Gideon followed Pacifica around like her new pet rooster did: silently and constantly looking at the ground. He tried to have fun, he really did, but as the sun began to set and the fair began to light up in preparation for running until the late hours of the night (Bill had wanted to milk out what his Magic Fair was worth), Gideon was pretty sure he wasn't and he had wasted the one day the fair was going to be open for.
He contemplated this as he sat on the steps outside the gift shop, resting his head in his hands. Beside him, Pacifica was holding Feathers in front of her friend, trying to cheer him up.
"Amazing Wizard Feathers here," she said in a funny voice. "I heard Pacifica's got a friend with a broken heart and I'm here with a spell to fix it!" She smiled at him, but he did not return it. Her smile fell off her face, and then she moved to sit beside him.
"Come on, Gid," she tried to console him. "It's just one date they're going on. Who knows, maybe Melody will get turned off by how much of a jerk he is and stop going out with him."
"Pacifica," he said weakly, finally looking at her, "Melody's already been tol'rating 'im for who knows how long when they were friends. She's probably gonna look past his jerk-ness or somethin'." He sighed. "I mean, Soos was there with the snow cone just in time when Melody got hit by the ball I threw – I had some ice, but I didn't get there in time!"
"And why didn't you get there in time?" Pacifica asked, intending to get to the root of her friend's pain.
"It's not really important," Gideon dismissed. "I just bumped into a tall bald man on the way there, it's fine."
The twelve year-old's eyes had wandered around the fair as he was saying this, and now her gaze fell onto a strange-looking figure.
"You mean like that guy over there?" she asked, pointing at him.
Gideon looked up. "Uh, yeah, that's him," he recognized; and he was suddenly not prepared for Pacifica getting up and walking over to said man.
Oh, no. "Wait, Pacifica!" he cried, calling out to her, but his friend had already opened her mouth to call out a message of her own to the bald man.
"Hey, you!" she said, getting his attention. "You ruined my friend's day!"
"Wh-who, me?" the man stammered, confused and mildly panicked.
"Yeah, you! You bumped into my friend when he was on his way to a very important mission!" She turned on her heel. "Tell him, Gideon!"
"I – I mean, he didn't say sorry, but that's not–!"
"Ha! You didn't even say sorry to him!" Pacifica pointed an accusing finger at the man, who was still standing there in shock. "Explain yourself! What's your deal, huh?"
"Oh, no!" the man said. "My position has been compromised!" He reached for his watch, twisting it around. As he did so, his suit began to change into different colors, matching different surroundings, but none of which was the Magic Fair. "Initiating color match – initiating – color – ugh!" He stomped his foot, and then took a screwdriver out from his utility belt and began to try and fix his watch.
"Th-that's amazin'," Gideon muttered under his breath. Pacifica seemed to share the same wonder, too, as she asked, "Are you from the future, or something?"
"What?" the man hollered in his heavily accented voice. "Who told you that?" In his desperation, he grabbed something from inside his jacket, and threw it at Pacifica's face. "Memory wipe!"
The twelve year-old stood still for half a second, before peeling the soft fragrant sheet from her face. "...This is a baby wipe."
"Ugh, fine, you've cornered me," the man sighed in defeat, sitting down on a wooden crate. "I'm...a time traveler."
"Well, so," Gideon asked, "that means you've got a time machine, right?"
"How else do you think I got here?" the man shrugged.
Pacifica's wandering eyes then turned to the ferris wheel behind the time traveler – where Soos and Melody were currently riding in one carriage – and she got an idea.
"Can we borrow it?" she asked.
(A/N: * - Filipino folklore reference, somehow.
** - I thought it was kind of rude how Wendy just went with Robbie and left Dipper hanging at the side, especially when she had agreed to go with him. Maybe it's because "Yeah, I guess so" doesn't really commit one to anything when one is a teenager, but she didn't let Dipper know. Just saying.
And that is my last chapter for 2015!)