Explanations
by Matthew W. Quinn and Kyli Ann Rasco
Author's Note: The idea of a pack of "free werewolves" in Germany comes from the story "Of Blood, Ice and Fire" by mercutio-rane. One of the better Lupin/Tonks stories, although the author hasn't updated in years, with only two chapters to go!
August 14th, 1997 AD
12:30 PM
"Let me get this straight," Nymphadora Tonks said, voice rising with anger and hair flaring red. "After all the trouble we went to keep Grindelwald's diary away from the Death Eaters, something that cost our son his life, you went back and tried to give the bloody diary to the Dark Lord!"
Remus Lupin's natural urge would have been to hang his head in shame, but he knew where his wife had gotten the information and he felt the urge to protest.
"Dora," Lupin said. "Dora, listen to me. Before Kingsley interrupted me, I was putting a spell on it. It would have dissolved into ashes and sand within two days…"
Tonks' eyes widened.
I bet Kingsley didn't tell her about that. Although to be fair, I didn't tell him that's what I was doing.
"You were going to sabotage the diary? Keep the Death Eaters from getting much use out of it?"
Lupin nodded.
"Dora, did you think you really married a Death Eater?"
Tonks shook her head.
"No, Remus, no I didn't. That being said, I got a taste of the crap the world dishes out to werewolves all the time that day in the clinic, and I can understand how that might…"
"Push someone over the edge?" Lupin finished.
Tonks nodded.
Lupin sighed.
"Yes, yes it did. I didn't know what I was going to do next after I dealt with those Healers, only that enough was finally enough."
He shook his head.
"For a moment there, I was Greyback. I don't know him well, but I can understand what drives him. Most of the werewolves have it far worse than I do — they don't have 'normal' friends willing to help them out with money, don't have 'normal' wives who don't care that they're monsters."
Tonks rolled her eyes.
"Remus, stop that. You're not a monster. If you were a monster, you wouldn't feel remorse for killing those three."
She snorted.
"Not like they didn't deserve it, anyway."
Lupin sighed.
You haven't told her just what you're doing next. That'll set her off.
"Don't tell me I'm not a monster just yet, Dora."
Tonks paled.
"W…what do you mean? Are they making you do some other horrible thing, since you weren't able to get him the diary?"
"Dora, as Kingsley told you, I'm going to have to do a lot of horrible things if I want to be in a position to implement my plan," Lupin said. "You might as well get used to it."
Tonks narrowed her eyes.
"Remus, what are you getting at?"
Lupin said.
"After Vol—"
"Don't say that," Tonks quickly interrupted.
"Why?" Lupin asked. "That's just giving into…"
Tonks shook her head.
"Kingsley said they've cast a Taboo. Every time someone says that name, the Death Eaters come calling. He had a narrow escape from a bunch of them when he said it."
Oh my. This changes things.
"Most of the people brave enough to say his names are his enemies," Lupin observed. "That's a good way to catch them, if controlling the Ministry and its records isn't helpful enough."
Tonks nodded.
"They've caught a couple of Order members that way. Nobody we know — it was the new people, the ones who joined up after Dumbledore died."
Most greenhorns don't live long enough to be veterans, Lupin noted morbidly.
"Now, what's going on now?" Tonks asked.
Damn it. Just when you thought she changed the subject.
"He— You-Know-Who — punished me with the Cruciatus Curse for failing to bring him the diary. Then he ordered Greyback to make me a Snatcher."
Tonks paled.
"A Snatcher? One of those thugs hunting for Muggleborns?"
Lupin nodded.
"Yes. Most of them are werewolves. They're glad they've got employment and they're the one's dishing out the prejudice for once."
He shook his head.
"The Dark Lord had to get his digs in, though. He said the Snatchers needed a higher-quality staff than they have now."
Lupin smiled wryly.
"I suppose that's a compliment."
Tonks' face fell.
"They're dragging you in deeper and deeper, Remus! First that arse Armstrong, then the diary, and now you're hunting Muggleborns? How soon until they brand you with the Dark Mark?"
That struck Lupin across the face like a two-by-four.
Bit by bit, you're slowly getting sucked in.
Sirius had told him how reluctant Snape had seemed to go back to the Death Eaters. Assuming his defection during the First War wasn't a sham, it was possible he'd fallen back into his old ways bit by bit, to the point he murdered the man who saved him from Azkaban.
"Dora, I'll never take the Mark. If it comes to that, I'll abandon the whole scheme and flee to bloody France. Maybe even Germany. There's a pack of werewolves there who've told Greyback to pound sand and made it stick. I can Apparate back here to help fight the Dark Lord when necessary."
Tonks nodded. Lupin noticed undercurrents of red in her hair.
"Good. I'll hold you to that."
Silence fell.
"How's your Mum?" Lupin asked. "I saw her letter to the paper—"
Tonks rolled her eyes.
"Oh great. I was hoping you might have overlooked it."
Lupin shook his head.
"I might have, but the Dark Lord didn't. He insisted on reading it, out loud, in front of several werewolves and many of his lieutenants, including your dear aunt."
Tonks' hair turned the color of fire at the mention of Bellatrix Lestrange.
"Between what happened and Dad going on the run, she's not happy these days. I can't really explain what you're up to, lest the Death Eaters kidnap her and find out. She's fiercer than most give her credit for—"
"I can tell."
Tonks smiled despite herself.
"But she's not an Auror like me or a grizzled old veteran like you. She'd be much more vulnerable. Plus if she found out we were still meeting, she'd follow me out some day and kill you."
"Even though I killed the two people responsible for the loss of her grandson?"
"She didn't mind that — it's the fact you ran off twice and who you ran off to that bothered her."
Lupin reddened again.
Weakling, he reproached himself. Worthless, weak man.
Silence fell for a moment.
"So," Lupin said. "Anything else going on in the Order of the Phoenix that I need to know about?"
"Well, as you've probably figured out by now, Kingsley is right mad at you about the diary. I think I got him to hold off on trying to kill you again by suggesting he put vital locations — our caches of gold, our remaining safe houses, and the like — under the Fidelius Charm. I figure he'll be the Secret-Keeper, perhaps along with some of the other surviving leaders."
Lupin nodded.
If it weren't for my reckless behavior, I'd still be counted among the surviving leaders.
"It makes sense. They'll want to limit the damage I can do to the Order by revealing information."
He looked at her.
"If Kingsley knows we've been in contact, he's not going to be happy with you," he said.
Tonks shrugged.
"Figures. But he and I are the last loyal Aurors. Dawlish has got his head up his arse as usual, thinks Thicknesse is the legal Minister and all. I don't think Kingsley's going to drop me off London Bridge stuffed in a sack."
I'm glad.
Lupin looked at his watch.
"All right," he said. "I'm scheduled for a Snatcher patrol today in a couple of hours. I'll be sure to screw it up as much as I can without attracting undue attention."
Tonks didn't respond with words. Instead she threw herself at him and hugged him fiercely. As they embraced, he saw a flicker of pink in her brown hair again.
The last time Lupin recalled seeing that color there was when they held each other for awhile after Lupin returned from Greyback's colony. Even then, it was brief.
Give her time. A miscarriage is a lot to take, especially if it comes on top of the death of your mentor, the fall of the government you've made a career serving, and your husband's own erratic behavior.
After a long moment, they pulled apart.
"When will I be able to see you again?" Tonks asked.
"I don't know."
Weak and unreliable.
"How about we communicate via Patronus, weekly?" he suggested. "I'll be sure to be somewhere out of sight of the others to receive it. It couldn't be on the same day every day, though, lest people wonder where I disappear to. If Law Enforcement is still tracking them, we can use owl post."
The color faded from Tonks' hair. She nodded.
"First one tomorrow, eleven o'clock in the morning.," she said.
"Sounds good to me."
August 14th, 1997 AD
12:50 PM
Lupin materialized in front of the "No Trespassing" sign and made his way down the path to the colony.
As he passed beneath the great doors into the interior — quickening his step to pass by a pair of werewolves dragging about a distraught-looking young woman who was probably Muggleborn — he nearly collided with Connor Lykos.
"Good afternoon, Connor," Lupin said, surprised.
"You were visiting the pink-haired Auror, weren't you?" Lykos asked, quietly but bluntly.
Oh dear.
Lykos seemed to be the decent sort, but he was loyal to Greyback and high in the evil werewolf's esteem. Plus, rejected by his own parents, he might be envious of Lupin's (relatively) happy familial situation and that could make him dangerous.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Lupin said quickly.
Lykos slowly exhaled in what might have been a sigh. He pointed at Lupin's shoulder. Lupin looked down and saw a strand of pink hair.
Oh bugger!
"I wouldn't be too obvious about the fact you and her are still together," Lykos said. "Greyback's still not happy about what her Mum wrote in the Prophet. I've managed to dissuade him not to attack her for that, for now."
Lupin nodded.
"Thank you," Lupin said.
"Anything for a friend."