(Author's note: YAY Edwards back :) this chapter is completely just Edward. Enjoy, and I hope it's not too rushed at the end. It's only because there was so much to write I had to edit, but it's good non the less. Don't forget to review, reviews make Edward happy again :))

Edward

The last 5 months had been the worst of my sorry excuse for a pitiful life! I'd been trying to follow Emmett's advice, to find myself again. But after years of being used to one way of living, it wasn't easy trying to find the person I used to be. Especially without her.

***5 months ago***

"Where have you been?" Carlisle drilled me as I got back from seeing Emmett.

"Out" I answered bluntly, with a certain sting to my voice.

"Where" He pushed, his voice serious warning me not to mess with him.

"I went to see Emmett, if you must know!" He sighed, rubbing his furrowed brow.

"Edward...you can't carry on this way, I can't do it any more. I just refuse to sit around and allow you to live this way. It's enough now, I have to intervene before you end up like your brother!"

"Dad...I'm not going to kill myself!"

"How do I know that? You go out all night, you mop in bed all day, doing nothing but laze around, you continue to take drugs, and don't even try to deny it, I found your stash of pot the other day whilst attempting to clean that rubbish bin on yours! Is this all you want for your life? To stay in bed all day, get drunk, take drugs until the day you die? Is that how you want to be remembered? It's surely not how me and your mother, god rest her soul, brought you up to be, and I will not stand by and watch you keep falling into this black hole you've built yourself" I laughed at his words, spitting on them and their filth.

"How the FUCK can you say that to me after everything you've done!"

"Excuse me?" He said taken aback.

"You know what the fuck I'm talking about, don't even pretend you don't know"

"Edward I have no idea, what is going on?"

"You stand there and give me the same old boring lecture, like it matters, like you ever cared. You ignored me and Emmett after mom died. We were in just as much pain as you Carlisle and yet you just left us to deal with it ourselves. Our you surprised we turned to drugs? We had no one else, no support. And you wouldn't even let us talk about her! I didn't know how to cope without her, she was everything to me, and Emmett. Emmett was the only person I had to talk to, and even he couldn't bare to hear her name after a while. What exactly do you expect from me? I mean seriously! And especially how you lied to me all these years!"

"What...? How exactly have I lied to you?"

"Emmett told me, just before I left talking to him. He gave me the letter. The one you've been hiding from us all these years, and thought we'd never find. Unlucky for you Emmett did. Why didn't you tell me you weren't my real father?" And just like this his face fell.

"Edward...I wanted to protect you. You've always been my son, in my heart you always will be" I huffed at his remark. Who did he think he was fooling?

"A father doesn't lie to his son. A father doesn't abandon his son!"

"Edward I never abandoned you, ever! I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you and Emmett when I should have been, but I'd just lost the love of my life! You don't think it killed me when she died? And I had no one to talk to, not even a brother! I tried to stay strong for you boys, because you were both so young, and I couldn't forgive myself if I had a complete breakdown in front of you both! I guess that came of as seeming distant and like I didn't care, but Edward...I did! I love you both so, so much, it kills me to look at you both and see how badly your both deteriorating. It literally rips my heart out. When would of there been a good time to tell you the truth? I planned to tell you after your sixteenth birthday, but that was when I found out just how bad of a lifestyle you and Emmett had chosen. I had to focus on trying to get you out of that world, and bring you here and everything just got pushed to the back of the pile! But I'm telling you now, I didn't lie to you or hide it on purpose. I only found out myself after she had died" He went on, real hurt and sorrow in his words.

"So who is my real father anyway?" I asked after what seemed like hours arguing back and forth, until finally we came to a calm understanding.

"Someone from the upper east side. Just after Emmett was born, I did something...unforgivable. I was so young, still a child myself. 19 years old and a father...I couldn't handle it. Me and your mother had only been dating for just under a year, and then bam along comes this baby and I couldn't cope. 2 months after Emmett had been born I ran off to Italy, to...soul search as they call it. I didn't come back for 5 months and by then your mother had met someone else. Through her heartbreak over me, she fell into the arms of the worst upper east side scumbag there was. Edward Masen SR. He was the most...unspeakable, atrocious human being that ever walked the planet. Luckily I managed to win her back, just in time to stop her from engaging in a...date rape of sorts that he'd set up, in a room with a video camera and plenty of his jerk off buddies! As much as I loved your mother, she could be naïve at times, but I loved her more than words could say. So of course when she said she was pregnant again, I was ready for the challenge. I had already gotten close to Emmett, who seemed to be taking to me again, despite my...disappearance, and then when you came along, I really did feel like a father again. I've never loved two people more than I loved you and Emmett, you made my life complete, as cheesy as that sounds. My life was reckless and stupid before I met your mother, and I thank god every day that I have you both as my sons, because to be honest, I don't know what my life would have been if I hadn't. I am sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but timing is everything, and this situation is delicate. I never wanted you to feel as though you meant less to me than Emmett, because you don't. Please don't walk out on your family right now Edward, Emmett and I need you. I only want what's best for you" I took in what he said. He had tears in his eyes as he spoke. I guess he was telling me the truth, but even so something didn't feel right. But nothing could prepare me for what I was about to say.

"I want to meet my real father" I said, avoiding Carlisle's saddened face.

***4 months ago***

I couldn't quite believe I was standing here right now, in the middle of New York, the town I had once lived in and thrown my life to the wolves. As reluctant as Carlisle was to give me his address, he agreed, keeping silent and told me to stay safe, and keep out of trouble. I needed to do this though, for me if not any thing else. So here I stood, facing the most over the top apartment block I'd ever laid my eyes on. Something about the upper east side made me sick to my stomach, it just felt too...gossip girl for my taste! I sighed and entered the building non the less. I told the concierge who I was looking for and they sent me up in the private elevator all the way to the top floor. The penthouse suit, figures.

***3 months ago***

"Edward, I don't understand what your doing here. I never even knew you existed, and to be perfectly honest I'm glad I didn't. I was reckless back then, and stupid, Carlisle was much better suited for your mother. And it looks as though you've been brought up well. Had I been in your life instead of him...well I'm sure it'd be a completely different story" Eddie said. He had told me to call him Eddie instead, to avoid confusion. His voice was near but perfect. Every word, every letter spoke to perfection, and his manner was very proper. When I'd first arrived, things had been awkward. We spoke little, he asked about my mother, to which I told him she had died. He didn't seem affected by that. He told me he had a family of his own, two sons, three daughters, two of them from a different marriage, but non the less he saw them all frequently. His wife was a former model, turned committee member at some business or whatever that I didn't care to remember the name of. Suffice to say it had been pretty...uncomfortable, and up until now we hadn't really talked about any thing serious.

"I heard you were a bit of a...bad egg" I said grinning slightly. He grinned back and took a sip of his very posh tea.

"I was. But that still doesn't explain why your here? And where exactly are you staying?"

"Why I'm here I can't really answer. But my da...Carlisle got me a place at a hotel in Brooklyn" He turned his face up at the very mention of the place.

"Well we have a guest room here if you'd like to stay? My wife knows your here, I can't say she's happy about it but she will be ok with you"

"No that's ok. Thank you though" I said, feeling awkward. "So hows work?" I asked, biting my tongue.

"Very good. I told you that I owned my own company didn't I?"

"Yes you did. Seems like you've done all right for yourself."

"Yes I have. I have my wife to thank for that. She showed me the error of my ways, put me in my place, and I guess I decided it was time to grow up and be a real man. I've stayed on the straight and narrow since then. 8 years to be exact. Built up my business skills along the way, made a few contacts, now I own my own company. It's great" He beamed. I half smiled back at him, feeling as though I was talking to some stranger, not my actual father. Looking more closely at him, his features were similar to mine. It had always made me wonder why me and Emmett didn't look similar, I guess now I understood. "So what are you doing with yourself? You still at school?"

"Er kind of. Well I dropped out. Wasn't for me. Don't really know what I want to do" He looked at me with a quizzical brow, pushing for more answers.

"So do you have a job then?"

"No"

"Ah...so if you don't mind me asking, how did you afford to come out here? You do live in...Washington don't you?"

"Yes I do. Er...well Carlisle is kind of a doctor, so I have a small trust fund. I kind of live of that" By the look of his face I could tell he was somewhat disappointed by that. Even I felt ashamed. Saying it out loud really put it in perspective. What kind of life was I living?

"You must have some idea at what you want to do? I'm sure you can't live of your father for the rest of your life?" If I didn't feel insecure and awkward right now, I'd probably punch his lights out. But he was right, and I knew it, and there was no way I wanted to start off on a bad point with him. No matter what his past, he was different now. Or so I thought.

***2 months ago***

I'd started to settle down in the hustle and bustle of daily life in the mad city of New York. Me and my dad were getting on well. He showed me around his company, and tried to educate me in case I might be persuaded to go into business, like him. I listened, politely, but it didn't really interest me much. I met his kids, who were good with me too. All of them were very proper and well kept, like the perfect kids, it made me feel in superior being next to them since my life wasn't so pure and innocent. His wife was more cold with me, but faked being as nice as she could. She was stunning, and again very proper. They seemed really in love with each other. I'd even met a girl while I was there. One of my dad's daughters friend, whom I didn't bother to learn the name of. She was average, not at pretty as Bella, but since Bella didn't want me, and I had gone so long without sex I couldn't help myself. One day she decided to stop by my hotel.

"Hey gorgeous" She smirked, locking the door behind her and pushing me onto the bed. "Fancy a rumble?" She climbed on top of me, straddling my waist, and pulled of her shirt to reveal her rather small tits, that didn't really do much for my dick. I fucked her any ways, and as far as sex went it was fine, serviced me enough to make me cum. She swallowed it and licked her lips like it was the best sex she'd ever had, and then I didn't see her again. Thank goodness!

***1 month ago***

"Your quite sweet, do you know that" My dad's wife said smiling and pinching my cheek like a mother did to a child. It reminded me of how Carlisle used to pat my head when I was little.

"Thanks. Where's dad?"

"At the office. Hey by the way feel free to move into the guest room. I hate to think of you in that despicable place in Brooklyn. Ugh that place is awful!"

"It's ok" I laughed, really not seeing the difference other than money.

"Ok sweety. Dinner at six then, see you there" She smiled gliding of in the way she did, as though she were floating. It was mesmerising, I could see why he'd fallen for her.

I decided to surprise my dad at his office with lunch. It was great, being here, it really felt like I'd found a place I loved. It was different for me, the change I needed, and I was really starting to like Eddie. He seemed like a stand up guy.

"He's in a meeting right now" His snotty secretary said as I entered his building.

"That's ok I'll just leave this in his office" I said, grinning, and ignoring her protests. As I pushed open the door to his office I found him and some young girl, who looked no older than 20 in a very questionable position on his desk. Her skirt was ridden up, bunched around her hips, and her legs wrapped around his waste. Judging by how far his tongue was down her throat, it didn't look like a meeting to me.

"I'm sorry...I..." I said awkwardly, slamming the door shut behind me and running as far as I could back to my hotel. How could he cheat on his family? His wonderful family, who adored him and who he had made out to be the best thing in his life. It made me feel sick to my stomach, and as though I'd been let down so badly.

"Edward!" He shouted, running out of the building after me.

"It's ok you don't have to explain, I understand fully!" He laughed at me then. I was starting to see the side that Carlisle had warned me about.

"Edward" He started with a condescending tone. "Come on! Your a man...you know the score!"

"But I thought you loved your wife?"

"I do! More than anything. It pleases me to know that I have my family to come home to. But...a man has needs. I'm not perfect, I never was. I'm sorry you had to find out like this...but it was bound to come around at some point. Listen...I don't know much about this-Carlisle guy but it sounds to me like he's very decent, and he loves you. It's been very nice having you here Edward, but I don't know what you want from me. I can't be your dad. I may be your biological blood relation, but that doesn't make me your father. I never knew about you, and I'm sorry about that but it's all worked out for the best. I may have pulled myself together over the years, and I may not indulge in drug taking and filming girls having sex with my friends whilst their under the influence any longer, but you can't change who you are, what your used to especially after a long time. I was born this way, and a part of me will always be a bad boy, but you...your not a bad boy at all, and I don't see why you want to pretend to be. Don't make the same mistakes I did. I should of seen the error of my ways long ago, if I but had a father like yours-gee I might be fully angelic, but truth be known I didn't. You have a fantastic father who loves you, you had a wonderful mother who would only want the best for you, and you have your life...but it's not here. You have to stop running Edward. There's only so long you can run away from yourself before it catches up to you, and then there's not a hope in hells chance of you ever regaining who you used to be. You say you used to play music? But you stopped when your mother died. You should take it up again, and see if that is the path that is meant for you. Find your thing, what makes you happy, what you are passionate about. Whatever it is. If you need any money, I can help, but as far as being your dad...I can't help you. I barely do a good job with my own, that's all my wife's doing. Sorry Edward" He said, genuinely looking sorry but I could finally see. He was emotionless, like a stone wall. Yes he probably did care about his wife and kids but I'd doubt he'd cry at their funeral, and he clearly couldn't stay faithful to his wife. I didn't say anything more to him as he swanned off back to fucking his 20 year old whore, leaving me feeling empty and confused. How could I of been so stupid? I trusted someone I had been warned about, by one of the most trustworthy man I'd ever known. But I wanted to believe the other life, with my biological dad, would be good for me somehow. That I'd get here and realise that this was were I belonged. But all along, even though I thought I was happy, it just didn't fit. It was like trying to put together two magnets. They would never stay together. I knew now what I had to do. I had to go back and pull together whatever life I could for myself, with my real family, my real dad. Eddie would never and could never replace Carlisle. Carlisle had done so, so much for me...and Emmett, and he did actually love us. He loved me. And I did love him, even if I had tried to push him away, I couldn't do that any more. And now all I wanted to do was to go back home. But first...

"You saw them...in his office?" Eddies wife asked me as I decided she deserved to know the truth before I left.

"I did. I'm so sorry, but he didn't deny it. Well...you couldn't deny that..." She looked close to fainting. But non the less she thanked me, apologised for him, and hugged me goodbye.

"Your a lovely person Edward. You have a good heart. I hope the girl you decide to give it to you, deserves it. Your a rare breed" She complimented before I left. I smiled after her. Eddie really didn't deserve her what so ever!

***Present day***

I finally made it home, closing my eyes and breathing in the fresh air or Forks. It may be a small town, and it might be considered boring, but it was and always would be my home.

"CARLISLE?" I called as I entered my house, so happy to finally be were I knew I belonged.

"SON!" He exclaimed, his face lifting into happiness as he saw me. He ran over to me and pulled me into a bear hug. I laughed, and allowed him to squeeze all the breath out of me, hugging him back.

"I love you dad. You are my father!" I said as he pulled me back. His face brightened even more.

"I love you too son. But I must say you look far too thin. Come on let me cook you some dinner. We have a lot to catch up on" And I agreed, smiling and following him to the kitchen.

"Well I'm glad you gave that...jerk what he deserved! That poor wife of his, she must be devastated! You did the right thing though, and I'm sorry he wasn't what you expected"

"I know, but it was good for me. It made me appreciate what I had back home, and how lucky I've been to have two amazing parents. Thank you Carlisle...for everything! And I'm so sorry for hurting you all these years. But I promise you this, it stops...today! No more drugs, no more reckless behaviour. I want to get clean" I said, really meaning every word.

"That's great to hear son, it really is. And I'll help you...however I can! I'm so happy to have you back" He beamed, as we both picked at the stir fry he'd made.

"Thanks dad... So...what's been going on since I've been gone?" And then all of a sudden...his face fell.

So here I was, standing in her room, my heart pounding. I didn't know exactly how she'd react to me being here, but I had to see her. After everything Carlisle had told me...I had to know she was all right, before I left her be. But then she crashed through her bedroom door, and my heart stopped. How I'd missed her face. She was even more beautiful than I'd remembered. My memory hadn't done her justice whatsoever. How could I let her get away? I loved her. Truly.

"Edward?" She said, in complete shock as she discovered I was in her room.

"Hello Bella" And I smiled. She was truly gorgeous.