Title: Within Confusion

Author: Karina

Rating: PG

Pairing: Heero Duo Wu Fei Zechs

Notes: Challenge 25. Baby Series 2 #25. Takes place approximately One hour after Advice.

Spoilers: None

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or the characters from the series but the baby is mine.

Many thanks to Dulin for her work as beta.

Within Confusion

"You okay?"

It was strange to be surrounded by his one time enemy, touching him; to be naked in their presence. It was all he could do not to strike out, to force them away and give himself space. The headache made thinking near impossible. Some deeper part of his psyche understood that these were friends and not enemies, but his body still sought to strike out, to give him the grace of that distance.

"Milliardo?"

He flinched. That name. It conjured pain. Had he really accepted the role as King? Had he accepted that Zechs was gone, and the mantle of the Peacecrafts rested on his shoulders? Had he accepted the future once lost in a night of blood, fire and snow?

"Something wrong, Duo?"

"Yeah, Heero, I think we have a problem. That fall must have scrambled his brain."

They surrounded him. Maxwell to his left, a hand touching his shoulder. Duo was tactile, he always had to touch. Yuy was there, pressed to his back, yet he sensed an air of distance between them. A safe zone. For some reason Heero did not cause his skin to crawl the way it did with Maxwell's hand on him, or Chang's body pressed to his right side. Chang's muscled chest was hard to his arm, one small, almost delicate, hand resting against his foot the other against the small of his back, almost in an embrace that was as disturbing as Maxwell's touch.

"Zechs. Remember the blizzard. Remember we have to maintain body heat to survive." Not questions, but reminders of their mutual predicament delivered in a carefully neutral voice from Wing's pilot.

"I …" The blizzard. He needed to remember the cold and that this was survival, nothing more. "I'm trying … Forgive me. I just …"

"It's okay." Maxwell rubbed at his shoulder gently, small circular motions designed to be soothing. "It's okay."

"We expect you to be confused as we believe you are concussed. You must remain awake and cognizant of our situation." Wu Fei pressed a little closer. "We understand. All we ask is that you try to remember."

Enemies? Friends? There were confusing memories of the war and of dreams that seemed too real to be dreams. Dreams of Lucrezia, and of fearing change, and that foreboding that always seemed to bring death to those he cared for. Foreboding blossoming into nightmare reality, and losing her. Her parting gift, the small bundle of humanity that had given some meaning to his continued existence.

Treize. Lucrezia. Before them his parents; the heart and soul of any child. Why did he live while those he loved died?

//Forgive me. Forgive me for killing you.//

He could not apologize and receive forgiveness from the dead, but perhaps he might make a start with the living? These were his enemies … or had been his enemies … might he not begin here to bring about a change within himself? Why did he even want to?

"Forgive me."

End

Karina Robertson 2006