A/N
I know... It's been forever (2 weeks give or take) and I'm sooooooo sorry ;~; I missed my baybehs too, don't worry! I was just on holiday in Cyprus and I literally got home at 5am this morning after a 5 hour flight, on which I didn't sleep so I was pretty much awake the whole night :L But I still had to get this chapter written because I missed writing this story so much and I love my little babies too much to leave them, though Kaneki isn't in this chapter much tbh... Eh
So yeah, if it's not great, that'll be why; I'm tired as all hell but I'll put up with it for you guys x'D
Enjoy the chapter ^^
Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX
RIN'S P.O.V
For a few seconds, Yukio, Kaneki and I just stare at each other in a silent standoff, none of us really sure how to react in the slightest; my twin brother just walked in on me touching up my fucking boyfriend whilst frenching him! However, once those brief moments tick by in an agonizing manner, I suddenly spring off of Kaneki, practically tumbling to the floor as I slide off of his lap, which he proceeds to cover up with the closest pillow to hide his hard-on. Which means I have absolutely no way of concealing my own.
"DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO KNOCK?!" I scream at my twin brother, whose turquoise irises are still a little wide, as if he's unable to process what he just saw. In all honesty, if I saw him making out with another guy, I'd probably freak out as well. However, the second I yell these words at him, my cheeks extremely hot and most likely burning a painfully bright crimson colour, a wave of calm soon rushes over Yukio, though I can tell that he's trying to not completely lose his shit, eyes constantly flickering between me and an extremely embarrassed Kaneki, who can barely break his gaze away from the desk in front of him. Talk about a supportive boyfriend. Then again, it kinda was my fault.
"Rin, can I speak with you please... Alone?" Yukio inquires in as laid-back a tone as he can manage, re-positioning his glasses, most likely so that he can hide the look that he's got cooped up in his aqua irises, though it's pointless since I know my twin better than anyone. He's pissed. Which is an understatement. And, though I can't really blame him, if he's gonna bitch at me, he might as well do it in front of Kaneki.
"No. If you wanna say something, you can say it in front of him as well," I state, my gaze quickly locking with Kaneki's for a few seconds before he breaks his eyes away, what looks to be guilt swimming through his features. I forgot he blames everything on himself. I was the one that kissed him. I was the one that forgot about Yukio. So none of this is his fault, though I doubt he'll let me tell him that. He'll probably say that he should've reminded me or pushed me off or something. He's just weird like that, though I can't help but love him anyways.
"I want to speak with you privately, Rin," Yukio spits through gritted teeth, a much more authoritative tone catching onto his voice as he does, causing me to wince a little at the harshness; he's only ever like that when he wants to discuss a serious issue. And, as serious as homosexuality may be to some people, I doubt it's the only thing my brother wishes to talk about. Yeah... Maybe it would be best if Kaneki wasn't around for this.
"Fine," I grumble, though I don't follow him out of the room instantly; instead, I turn on the spot and make my way over to Kaneki, folding around him so that I can place a light kiss on his lips, whispering that I'll be right back into his ear before leaving his side, meeting the eyes of a very frustrated-looking Yukio. He's gonna chew me out big time, isn't he?
Once we've managed to get a good distance away from the room in which Yukio was holding our detention, he finally turns to me, wiping away all of the false calmness to reveal just how angry he is, rage instantly filling his features within seconds. And, before I can even go to defend myself, he suddenly opens his mouth, allowing his rant to spill from his lips.
"What the hell, Rin?! You could've told me you have a freaking boyfriend! I'm your damn brother and you never even thought to mention it?! What's wrong with you?!" He snaps with an intensity that hits me squarely in the chest, my heart feeling as if it's tightening with his questions. He's never this mad at me unless I've really done something to piss him off, my relationship with Kaneki being something that I didn't think would do that. And, though I hate to consider it, I think it's most likely more than just that.
"I've had a lot to deal with, Yukio. I guess I just forgot to mention it," I mutter, trying not to raise my voice or act snarky in any way; he'll just get even more angry with me if I even try to sass him. I just have to do what I like to call the 'twin trade', in which Yukio starts acting like me and I take on his personality. Whilst he rants, I hold my tongue. Whilst he bitches, I calmly respond. Then again, I've never really been successful in pulling it off so it's probably not gonna work.
"Just how you've constantly 'forgotten to mention' what really happened to your eye? And don't spout anything about it being an infection or something because your healing abilities would've fixed it in minutes. You're hiding something from me, Rin! I'm your brother. Why can't you just tell me?" He exclaims, my eyes widening a little when he brings up the subject of them, my right one tingling a little, as if with nerves, though I'm certain that it's most likely my kakugan going crazy. Brilliant. So he still hasn't let that topic go? Why the fuck can't he just accept that I can't tell him?!
"There are some things I just can't say, Yukio!" I reply with a shout to my voice, Yukio not even recoiling from my tone in the slightest, that mask of fury only getting more and more solid as he begins to glare at me, a glint flickering through his glasses. Taking a step forward, as if to intimidate me, Yukio pushes his hair out of his face, his irises burning with the anger that's completely directed towards me and every response I make.
"It's more than that, Rin! You've not been eating, either! All you ever did was constantly snack and eat whenever you could. I haven't seen you touch a single piece of food since you got home! Ever since Kaneki showed up, you've been acting different!" He snarls in a way that causes my body to go rigid, my teeth quickly gritting together whilst my fingers curl themselves together into two tight fists by my sides. How dare he blame Kaneki for this! Who the fuck does he think he is?! There are some things I just won't accept, and placing someone innocent at fault is one of them.
"Don't you dare blame Kaneki! If anything, it's your fault!" I yell, losing control of my mouth until I realize what I just said, instantly wanting to take the words back when Yukio's eyebrows furrow in a frustrated confusion that's beckoned from my statement. I shouldn't have said that. Shit, I shouldn't have said that!
"What do you mean it's my fault?!" Yukio cries out, my form flinching a little when I realize that he didn't just let that go; he's gonna interrogate me further about my meaning. I can't tell him. I can't tell him that he's a large part of why I became a ghoul in the first place; if he hadn't have ordered me to leave the dorm on that day, none of what happened then would have. I wouldn't have been turned into a ghoul, nor would anything have changed. But he can't know. He just can't.
"Nothing. I didn't mean anything by it. I just-"
"-No. You said it's my fault you're like this! I'd love to know how, Rin! I haven't seen you since you ran away so I'd love to know how you figure blaming me is fair!" He pushes, not allowing me to escape the subject just as I'd like, irritation, as well as panic, beginning to surface when I feel my pulse start to increase, heavily thudding in my neck whilst the ache returns to my canines, though it also rings through my ears too, as well as my tail. Why won't he just drop it?!
"Just forget what I said, Yukio! I didn't mean it!" I retaliate, desperately trying to get him off of the subject before I snap at him and start ranting with no end; with the intense feeling of pressure building up in all of my demonic features, as well as my pounding pulse and raging headache, I know exactly what'll happen if I get myself any more worked up than I already am. And I'm certain that, if it does, I can't be anywhere near Kaneki. Just the idea of him finding out just causes me to panic even more.
"Stop lying to me, Rin! All you've done since you've gotten back is lie to me and I'm tired of it! Why won't you just tell me the truth for once in your goddamn life?!"
"Shut up. Just SHUT UP!" I scream, my body suddenly erupting into a wild frenzy of blue flames that flicker eagerly around me, as if glad to finally be released from the prison that I threw them into upon meeting Kaneki, relief flooding through me as all aches melt away, the fire licking at the air. Crap! I need to calm down! I have to put them out! However, no matter what I try, I can't bring myself to quell them, each attempt failing horribly, only causing them to pulse even more, like they're taunting me. Why aren't they going out?!
"This is what I'm talking about, Rin! You've been keeping your powers bottled up, haven't you?! You know how dangerous that is! You know that, whenever you push them down, they'll end up springing free even during the smallest of arguments!" Yukio explains, an aggravating tone laced through his voice that only increases my irritation; I don't need him bitching and moaning at me whilst I'm trying to get my pulse back to normal in order to calm my flames to the point where they'll dissipate. If Kaneki were to come down now... No, I can't think about that. It'll just work me up even more. Calm. I need to be calm. I just have to collect my head and ignore Yukio and the way that he constantly reminds me of my own idiocy.
I know it's stupid to keep my powers contained. Like with anything, if I keep them all bottled up for way too long, they'll eventually break out of control in instances where they're completely unneeded, which could prove fatal to anyone around me. And, with my turbulent emotions, I'm not exactly the best at handling my temper. Which is why it's so difficult to quell my flames, the embers spitting out in azure flecks that litter the ground before extinguishing. Every time I try to calm down, I remember why I'm pissed and my pulse hits the roof again.
"Just shut the hell up, Yukio! Please!" I try to order, though it comes out as more of a beg, my hands now tucked under my arms so that they can press themselves against my body, which is slightly doubled over in a feeble attempt to settle my nerves and heartbeat. I just need a couple of minutes. A few moments where Yukio doesn't say a word to get myself back to normal, eliminating the danger of Kaneki seeing my flames.
"I just want what's best for you, Rin! And hiding them isn't gonna do you, or anyone around you, any good! For your sake, you need to tell Kaneki; I know that's why you're keeping them cooped up. You don't want him finding out. Well secrets can't last forever, especially when they're being kept from people you care about. He's going to find out, Rin. So you might as well tell him before it's too late and people get hurt. I think he'd rather hear it from your mouth than figure it out when you lose control." Gritting my teeth, I force my eyes shut, trying to block my brother out as he attempts to convince me that telling Kaneki the truth is really the best option for me. If I told him about me being a demon, he'd be terrified. He'll hate me. He'll think I'm a monster. I don't want to lose him. I'm so scared of him leaving me. That's why he can't ever know. I can't ever let him. I can't watch another person I love disappear from my life, just like dad did.
However, just when I think that my flames are beginning to quell a little, despite panic still bristling through me as I start considering just the idea of Kaneki abandoning me, my chest instantly tightens again whilst the cobalt fire burns brighter.
"Rin?" Kaneki's voice echoes through the empty halls, drawing closer with every single breath I suck into my lungs. He must've heard us shouting and got concerned about me. Shit. No no no no I can't let him see. I can't! I have to calm down. I have to calm down. Why can't I fucking calm down, dammit?! "Rin, is everything alright?" Kaneki's voice calls again, my pulse making a startling leap when I realize how close he is. He's gonna see. He's gonna see me for the demon I really am.