A/N

Hello again. Welcome to the final instalment for Season 1.

It's taken a while but I managed to get this sorted.

Just a small note about this bit. In the episode regarding Callen's crash, I haven't been able to figure out exactly what went on with regards to his seat-belt. So, because the bunnies refused to co-operate unless we went with the "he didn't put it on" scenario that's what happened for this story.

You see when he first gets in the car and speeds off he's not wearing it and you never see him put it on. But when he is driving, he has it on. Then once he's crashed it doesn't look like it's on. So I had two theories. One – the seat-belt being on whilst driving was a goof. Or two – the seat-belt broke during the accident. Personally, option two was a little scary to consider since seat-belts are supposed to protect you in terms of accidents so we decided to work with option one and go with the no seat-belt option. The bunnies hope you don't mind that little tweak to the story.

I'm thinking there might be a bit more that I could write for after the episode but the bunnies haven't quite got that sorted yet, so there may be a part two to this one coming later. Plus, the few scenes that I've written here work well together and anything more might not fit. We'll have to see.

Now that I've completed season 1, I need to give a little attention to finishing off Future in Jeopardy, but I will be back with this story as soon as I can. I do have a little question for you all. How would you prefer to have the chapters come up? Would you just like them whenever I get them done or would you prefer I wait to start posting until I have a bit of a stash so the updates are quicker? Let me know in the review or a pm.

Thanks once again for all the support.

Enjoy.

Disclaimer in Chapter 4

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Chapter 25 – Callen, G

Callen felt the impact right through his body when the blue van side-swiped his as well as the next one when he careened into the stationary one. He felt the car launch into the air and that unmistakeable flying sensation – the one you really don't want to experience.

And, as the car started to flip over and his body started to move out of his seat, his life started to flash before his eyes. Not in the traditional way though. This time it was his current life. Kensi. Pictures of Kensi. Of her smiling, laughing, crying, teasing. Of her splashing him at the beach last weekend and when she's come up completely drenched and laughing after he'd dumped her in the waves.

"I'm sorry Kenz."

Because he'd forgotten to put on his seatbelt in the rush to follow Akbari. Given his speed, and his current trajectory of his car, he'd be incredibly lucky to get out of this accident – at all. A lecture from Hetty about the necessity of safety precautions would be most welcome instead of what was coming.

If only…

Suddenly he was on the footpath, watching his car slam sideways into the ground and continue to roll in slow motion down the street.

"What the…?"

He felt a soft hand on his arm and turned.

"G."

"Alex?" He frowned, closed his eyes and sighed. "I'm dead again."

"No G." She shook her head. "But you would have been if we'd left you in the car."

"We?"

"Yeah. We."

Callen turned to the rough masculine voice coming from his other side.

James.

James looked furious.

"If you ever," James continued menacingly and stepped closer to Callen, "ever, get in a car without a seat-belt again, I will personally kick your arse to the far side of the moon and back. She's not ready to bury another man she loves and I'm sure as hell not about to let that happen. She loves you. So help me Callen…"

Alex laid a hand on James' arm. "James." Her soft voice stopped him and James looked briefly at Alex.

Callen's lips couldn't help the twitching of a smile, even under the strange circumstances. He'd see that calming effect of Alex's more than once. Often he'd been the recipient but he also known she could do it with just about anyone.

James turned back to Callen. The fury was still in his eyes, but his voice was decidedly calmer. "Don't mess up the future Callen. She needs you and you need her. Don't lose that." James then turned back to watch the car.

Callen glanced at the car then to Alex.

"How?" he asked.

Alex shrugged. "Not really sure but we couldn't let it happen. G, you've just started living again and you've got so much more to experience." She smiled softly. "But please, don't lose your future by going back into the past."

Callen frowned. Alex continued.

"I know more than anyone why you need to know about your past. I just don't want you to lose what's coming by going back. Look back, yes. Find out what you need to know but don't get lost in it, G. Don't die for your past. Live for your future."

They both turned back and watched the car slowly go into its last flip.

As Callen turned back to Alex he found he was no longer on the footpath but back in the car and slowly heading toward the roof.

"Ow!" His head hit the roof and he was uncomfortably placed upside down. But he was alive and relatively unhurt though he was sure he'd be sore tomorrow.

The car stopped and settled. He breathed a sigh of relief and looked around. He caught sight of Alex at the window reaching into the car and frowned.

She smiled and nudged his gun within reach. "You'll need this. Good luck G."

Callen looked through the window past her; saw the blue van and the feet walking toward him. His heart started to race. He reached for the gun.

"I can't believe Hetty only suspended you for a day." Kensi lent against her desk and watched Callen carefully. He'd said they were good earlier but she couldn't shake the feeling he thought the burning of the data warehouse was partly her fault. She had no reason to feel that but she did anyway.

Callen shrugged. The piece of paper in his hand felt like it was burning a hole in it. "Guess I got lucky."

"Hmm, more than just with Hetty. I saw the crash." Kensi subtly moved her body a little closer to Callen's desk. "How did you…." She trailed off not really sure she wanted to discuss anything that would bring back that vision.

"A couple of angels and a miracle."

Kensi frowned for a moment before saying softly, "Alex and Lily?"

Callen shook his head. "Alex and James."

"Oh."

Callen looked down at his hand.

"Callen, are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" Kensi asked him. She knew it had been a huge day for him and wondered if he'd need a little support with this.

Callen glanced back at her, stood up and shook his head. "No. I think I need to do this myself."

He started to walk away.

"Callen," Kensi called out.

He turned back.

"Are you sure we're okay?" she asked again. The uncertainness she felt definitely came through in her voice but she didn't care. There weren't too many people she could be straight with and she certainly didn't want to start hiding things from Callen. This relationship was too important to start messing it up with lies.

Callen nodded. "Yeah Kenz. We're good. It's just been a …. bit rough. We're good." He smiled and moved away.

This time she just watched him go. When he was out of sight she moved to the couch and sank into it. He was right. It had been rough. Rough enough on her but way harder on him. The things he'd found out and lost all in the one hit. A sister, a family, his past. So close yet so far away again.

"Kensi," came a soft voice from next to her.

Kensi looked up from her hands and saw Alex. She glanced around but there was no one close enough in the office to hear her. She looked back to Alex.

"Hi." There was shock in her voice. Then she started to worry and the tension flooded into her shoulders. "Is Callen okay?" He couldn't be out of the car park but the last time Alex had come to her was when he was having that nightmare.

Alex smiled and nodded. "He's fine. I'm here for you this time."

"Oh." Kensi paused. "So you know what happened?"

Alex nodded. "I know the files burned. I know there was one on him and I know you feel responsible even though you aren't."

Kensi slumped back in her chair. "Callen thinks I am." Even though he said they were fine, she wasn't very reassured. He'd been so distant both times, like he was somewhere else.

"He doesn't blame you," Alex said. "Trust me. G isn't entirely sure what he is feeling at the moment. His past has always been an iffy topic and there's so much happening right now about it, but he doesn't blame you. This I know."

Kensi would take the reassurance, after all, Alex knew Callen better than anyone. "Was he this obsessed when you were together?" she asked, though she wished she hadn't the moment she said the words.

"No."

Kensi's shoulders dropped. "So you were enough for him, but I'm not."

Alex shook her head and moved a little closer to Kensi. "No Kensi. That's not it at all. If anything, I'm the problem."

Kensi frowned. "I don't understand."

Alex sighed softly. "I'm not sure how well I can explain it but I'll try. When G and I were together, we had this general idea of where our future was headed. We didn't really talk about it, it was just there. One day a family. A long and happy future together. Strange I know considering the life we lived. The past didn't matter. G was who he was, it didn't matter how he got there. I was who I was, it didn't matter how I got there. He'd always wanted to know where he had come from but we were together, we had a future, we were happy with what we had. The past wasn't all that important anymore."

"But it is now," Kensi interrupted dejectedly. "Sorry."

Alex smiled in acceptance of the apology. "He'd looked. He'd tried but he hadn't been able to get anything and with a future clear in his mind he was able to get past that. That's not to say he didn't think about it from time to time, or occasionally try again."

Alex paused whilst she thought.

"So why can't he get to that with me," Kensi asked, her voice tinged with sadness and disappointment. "I'm not going anywhere."

"So you say. So did I," Alex said. "Kensi, his past is important to him now, more than ever. Because he doesn't want it to take you away too. Like it did me."

Kensi was silent for a moment as the words sunk in.

"It was someone from his past that had me killed," Alex continued. "That took away that family and future he'd been able to see so clearly. The hope that even though he hadn't had it in the past, he wouldn't miss out altogether."

Kensi nodded in understanding. "So he wants to find anyone in his past who is a threat and take them down before they take me down."

"Or him. Because he doesn't want you to go through what he went through. And if he doesn't know his past, he doesn't know who could be a threat. It's not that you aren't good enough Kensi. You are more than good enough. You are perfect for him." Alex put her hand over Kensi's. "It's that he wants to be good enough for you and sometimes … sometimes when he thinks about his past and how much he doesn't know and what it could do to you, he doesn't feel good enough. Or maybe he doesn't feel strong enough to protect you. And he needs to prove to himself that he is."

"He is," Kensi protested.

"You know that and I know that," Alex agreed. "Now we just have to convince him of that."

"How?" Kensi asked.

"That my dear, is the million dollar question. Care to try and answer it with me?"

"Absolutely."

At the cemetery.

Callen walked slowly across the green grass and between the palm trees. Maybe he should have taken Kensi up on her offer. He could do with a little something extra right now.

But he hadn't and now he had to deal with this alone.

He had to admit that, at the time, alone had been what he wanted. He need a little time and space. He knew Kensi wasn't responsible for the files and the warehouse being destroyed but there was a part of him that was using blaming her as a focus, as something to try and get him away from the fact that his past had been so close and he'd lost it. Twice. Not just at the warehouse but with shooting Keelson. None of it was Kensi's fault and he just needed a little time to work on getting over it.

But still, company right now would have been very reassuring.

He felt something nudge his hand and looked down just as a little hand slipped into his and held on. A beautiful little face with blue eyes and green sparkles smiled up at him.

"Hi Daddy," Lily said happily.

"Hi."

Lily skipped along beside him. "So is Amy my Aunt?"

"Yeah, I guess she was."

"Do you remember her?" Lily asked.

Callen stopped. So did Lily. Right now, he wasn't ready to face the grave, but a little time with Lily might just be the comfort that he needed.

He crouched down to be at her height. "Only a little. I'm hoping I'll get some more memories back sometime." He looked at Lily carefully. "Actually, I think she looked a bit like you."

Lily grinned happily. "Cool."

Callen smiled back.

"Daddy."

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

Callen nodded. "I'm fine. Better now actually. Thank you."

"Do you want me to stay with you?"

Callen thought for a moment. "Maybe you could walk me a little closer, but I think this might be something I need to do on my own."

Lily nodded and slipped her hand back into Callen's when he stood up. They moved slowly toward the grave.

Just as Callen was about to stop and say goodbye, Lily left him with one final comment that floored him and would stay in his mind for a long time to come.

"You know Daddy, I think I'd make a pretty cool big sister."