Chapter 25:
The witch's hands glowed with pale fire as she strode towards Blargetha. As Wildberry watched in surprise, an invisible force snatched the hapless princess off her feet and held her high in the air. That force began to stretch the slime-creature, threatening to tear her limbs from her body or even to tear her in half. "I thought you said that torture didn't work for interrogations," rumbled the bad berry. "This isn't torture," muttered Maja. "This might well be an execution..." Blargetha pleaded. She pleaded in pitiable tones as the pain increased. "You failed," snarled Maja! "You failed me!" "Th-the fuel," wheezed the slime-person. "My fuel caravan didn't come..." Maja frowned at her and the force slackened a little–just enough to let the princess speak.
"Talk, dearie," hissed Maja. "The caravan didn't come. When we found it, the whole thing was smashed and the people... they looked like somebody ate them..." Maja looked bored as Blargetha made her explanations. She looked as though this was hardly persuading her at all. She looked, in fact, like she might just finish Blargetha off. Then Blargetha told of the soldier who'd eaten some of the food from the caravan and gone mad. "What did you say," hissed the witch? "I-I said he tried to kill some of his comrades. We had to put him down." "Tell me more," growled the witch. Blargetha choked out everything she knew, telling them about how they'd found those men–looking as though wild-animals had eaten them. She told of how the sick man had wanted to eat his comrades.
"Ghouls," muttered the witch, as she released the spell. Blargetha fell to the ground with a wet-splat, her squishy body absorbing a great deal of the impact, though she didn't really look to have enjoyed that. "Ghouls attacked the supplies," she muttered. "Convenient for Finn..." "There's more," hissed Blargetha. "I... Finn... He moved as if he'd never lost his sword..." Sugarlump howled, "but I had my hands on that sword! I know we snatched it!" "Saw it with my own eyes," wheezed the battered slime-woman. Maja, who'd been barely paying attention to the exchange, now turned to their spymaster.
"You said his power was tied to that sword," growled the witch. Reflexively, Orzsebet the Agent Princess took a step backwards. Not that it would have helped her escape the witch's reach, mind you. "Everyone knows this," said Orzsebet. "The Grand Master of Wizard City placed a magic spell on his sword to help him defeat the invaders." "The Quicksilver Curse," Maja muttered. "He didn't place a spell on that fucking sword. He put a curse on the man himself!" Grabbing at her wavy, dark hair, the witch began to pace. "How is he still alive," she demanded? The curse had been put on him decades ago! He should have been reduced to a husk within a few years of being cursed! Her foe should be long dead, but somehow he was alive and quite vigorous if he was banging eleven bitches. "Keep the siege on the sluts in the forest," growled the witch. "I need to think."
Back in the Candy Kingdom, the people of Bonnie's court were throwing a celebratory party to hail the successful defense of the kingdom. Finn, their guest of honor, was in Bonnie's apartments, getting fitted out with a hand-made suit. Lollipop stood measuring and re-measuring her hubby and generally fussing over him. Much like the beautiful dress she'd crafted for Fionna, the suit was elegant and almost transformative. Even half-finished, it made the big man look kingly and regal of bearing.
Sarah thought he looked sexy. She'd been sort of hanging around all morning in spite of the headache she had developed. "You could help," Lollipop teased, "instead of hanging around making moon eyes..." The android laughed and said, "part of playing hookey is not replacing the work you're avoiding with something else." Both women had a laugh about that, which Finn was grateful for. He'd been wondering how they would make this work and found himself delighted that things went so well.
Bonnie came in just then, and she looked surprised to see Sarah. "Aren't you supposed to be in the lab," asked the candy monarch? "Taking a break," Sarah replied. Turning to Finn, the android flippantly opined, "your wife is a slave-driver, babe..." Rising, she strolled over to Finn, took his face in her hands, and gave him a heated kiss. When she let the big man go, Lollipop giggled, "gee, thanks... You just made it harder to fit his pants!" Giving Bonnie a sweet smile, Sarah strolled out, completely oblivious to the way the bubblegum princess's face froze. When the android-girl had gone, Lollipop opined, "you're working her too hard, Bonnie. She's having those headaches again..." Bonnie smoothly blew her off with, "I'll look into it when it becomes a problem. I need an answer to the artificial meat problem. The wood-nymphs will start eyeing my citizens before long..."
Lollipop shut up. Bonnie had her there, and she knew it. Moving on, the princess said, "time for your daily briefing. You ready?" Finn, who had immediately become alarmed at Lollipop's words, found himself deflected. He was a little out of his depth with some of this. Bonnie's daily sessions were helping some. "Ok, Peebles," he said, "let's get at it..." He'd be looking in on Sarah later.
Bonnie began with an assessment of the Barrier. It was working fairly well, though Nadia had been forced to shut it down twice so Fionna could fix a couple of under-performing nodes. "She'll have to shut it down in a couple of weeks to refuel it," said Bonnie, "but for the moment we've got breathing space..." Blargetha's troops had tried blasting through it, but the barrier's powerful charge had blasted the projectiles right out of the air. "What about efforts to reach Wildberry," Finn asked? It was another of those 'New Finn' changes she was struggling with. Her familiar old Finn would have torn a swath through their enemies, and she reminded him of that. Coolly, Finn replied, "Wildberry isn't a brainless monster smashing the village down the road, PB, and her peeps aren't goblins."
Slipping her arms around him from behind, Bonnie whispered, "I know, baby. It's just... Cherry may be right. We may not be able to secure a true peace with her..." Finn reminded his wife, "but we have to try..." And the big man proceeded to remind her of all the people who were being impacted and all the suffering this unnecessary and pointless war was causing. The reminder came almost like a slap in the face to someone who'd been manipulating him all his life. He was harder than he'd ever been, and she again found herself being challenged by 'New Finn'. Softly, he said, "I have to think about more than the Candy Kingdom, Peebles. This place... You have always been home for me." Which was a very pleasant opening for the hurtful 'but' that she knew was coming. Brushing her arms off, he said, "I'm King of Ooo, Bonnie. Not King of the Candy Kingdom. Not even King of the Kingdoms that support me." "I won't forget again," she sighed. Lollipop announced, "all done, hon. I'll need your pants now." Flushing to his hair, Finn realized that they would always have ways of dragging him back down to earth.
The big man shed the pants, shirt, and jacket in favor of getting dressed to meet with the visitors he now had waiting on him. With Bonnie at his side and dressed in the least shabby clothing he owned, Finn headed down to the room where Bonnie had been accustomed to meeting the Privy Council. There were Princesses to deal with. On the way, Ragnhild joined them, looking stressed and more than a little angry. "Dessert Princess is here," she said. "Along with Breezy and Abeiuwa. Dessert Princess is going to be presenting a case to join us after stabbing us in the back. Breezy is here to find out what we're doing to protect the Bee Kingdoms..." "...and Jungle Princess wants to play us like Aysun," muttered Finn. It took everything he had not to lapse into swearing. He was working on that. Between his encounters with the Lich and his current status, he'd decided that the habit of swearing like a drunken soldier was a problem. King's didn't lose their cool that way.
The three named women were waiting in the Privy Council's ante-chamber as Finn walked up. All three immediately began speaking. Finn walked right past as if he didn't hear them. With Bonnie and Ragnhild in tow, he went into the Privy Council and shut the door in their faces. Moving to the head of the table, he said, "ok. Breezy's territory is tucked right into the middle of Engagement Ring Kingdom and Muscle Kingdom. We have no army and no way to protect them. What are we doing to keep her support? I need something I can offer that won't see us fighting Yolanda right out the gate." "That's going to get worse with Djanira, Finn," said Ragnhild. "Yolanda's got her backed up against the ocean. If we welcome Djanira back, we pretty much guarantee an unwinnable fight against Muscle Kingdom."
Finn's eyes flicked to Nadia, who simply said, "out of the question." He knew all the shit she'd been through to get her people to build the Tesla Barrier. He couldn't play that card again. He'd asked all he could from Talia. That was another card he really couldn't play. A good chunk of the troops they had were in the Grey Forest. The rest were recovering. And nasty Aysun was still out there with piles of money that could be used to wreck them and change the course of the war. Turning to face the wall, the big man sat lost in thought for a moment. He had an asset, but he didn't trust her. It was his second big crisis in a row, and he was struggling to come up with a way out. He was so deep in the hole right now, he couldn't even see the rim.
"We can't help her," he said. "She's chosen to go it alone. That decision has consequences. For Breezy, we're going to stall for the moment. I have a plan. She's probably not going to like it, but we all have to do what's needed to survive this." "And Jungle Princess," asked Ragnhild? Finn frowned. He knew Abeiuwa was always angling for more power. Her people had plenty of food. They hadn't suffered as a result of the Lich War. It would either be soldiers or money or something else she would tempt them with. "I'll hear what she has to say," he said. "No promises. No decisions." Turning to Peppermint Butler, he said, "send in Djanira."
Dessert Princess looked as though she hadn't slept in days. Her eyes looked haunted, and Finn was reminded of how she'd been at the start of the Lich War when word had come of the Lich's attack on the Fluffy People. Part of him understood why she'd run on them. He pitied her for the losses she'd seen. At the same time, he had to harden his heart. She'd bailed on them when they needed help the most. All the princesses who'd walked out had held the power to shut this whole thing down. If they'd all stayed together as a block, they could have easily squashed the hard core of Wildberry's faction. Instead, they'd chosen to save their own skins.
Striding up to him, the terrified princess dropped an elegant curtsy and greeted him with, "my King..." Coldly, Finn said, "no. Not your King. I would have been if you'd chosen to stay." She flinched, and her face froze over. "Your cowardice put all of Ooo in danger," he said. "I can't sacrifice the lives of those who stood behind me to save you. Not now. If you want to return to the fold, you're going to have to work for it. That means you'll be going it alone for a while." "I... you...," stammered the princess. When she would have thrown a Royal-Fit, Finn cut her off, saying, "you can scream all you want, but you did this, Djanira. You and all those other idiots who ran. Now I have to clean up the mess. That won't be quick, and it sure won't be easy. Your cowardice cost the lives of hundreds of Bonnibel's people already. Someday I'll be able to welcome you back. I'll be glad to see you return before this council. That day is not today. I advise you to walk small and do your best not to antagonize Yolanda. She's going to be rather busy in the coming months, so hopefully you'll do alright. You may go." Head down, she nodded, and he realized that it was only what she'd realized herself already. This had been a play of desperation. His heart wanted to comfort her, but he knew better. The lesson would only take if it came hard.
Breezy was next. His 'bro' was much like he remembered her. She was tall as he was, though much thinner and with a shockingly narrow waist. Shockingly, he'd come to realize very late in life that Breezy had a butt to die for. An oval face with perfect, pouty lips and eyes like pools of liquid darkness completed the image. Broad hips wig-wagging back and forth, the bee-woman strode towards him. Rising, Finn greeted her with, "hey, B. How you been?" Taking her hand, he pulled her into a 'bro' hug. When he let go, her eyes wanted to slide away from his face.
Things had been a little awkward between them since Cherry had let the cat out of the bag in Froyo Kingdom. "B," he said. "It's me. We're still..." "Bro's," she finished? "I'm not sure I can believe that..." "Let me prove it," he said. "I know why you're here. You're here because Yolanda's prowling on your border. I'm headed down to Engagement Ring Kingdom to see my son and meet my grandson. I'm'a do some deals while I'm there. Come with me. We'll get this stuff sorted out while I'm down there. Deal?" She frowned at him for a moment. Glancing away, she said, "alright. I'll go with you. When do we leave?" "Tomorrow," he said. "Borrowing Ragnhild's train." "I'm sure you have other business," she said. "We can speak later."
When Breezy left, Jungle Princess came in. The teal-skinned beauty had always been a looker, but Finn had always had to be wary of her aggressive nature and hunger for power. Abeiuwa came dressed in a more conservative version of her usual garb, including a hide-dress that went to her knees along with piles of golden chains and bangles around her neck and down both arms. Head high, the prideful princess strode up to him and offered the shallowest of bows. "I am told you are made king in the north," said she. "I offer you praise and good wishes, o-king." But no recognition of authority, thought Finn. Smiling the whole time, he offered her a seat and refreshments.
While they sipped at ice-cold soda, Abeiuwa directed one of her bodyguards to step forward. When he was standing before them, she held out her hand, at which time he put handed her his spear. Laying the spear on the table, Abeiuwa said, "our Assegai can launch four javelin before requiring the fitting of a new haft. These javelin are razor sharp and capable of piercing any animal-hide armor and even steel. Even after firing all its javelin, the Assegai makes an effective spear for close combat." "Cool," said Finn, as he took up the weapon. Aiming at the statue of Bonnie's uncle Gumbald in the corner, he depressed the firing stud. A javelin shot out like a bolt from the blue and pierced the statue through and through. Laying the spear-gun on the table, the big man asked, "how's your husband doing? You guys still thinking about kids?"
That was how the rest of the meeting went, with the proud princess of the south doing her best to broach the idea of renting soldiers to the King of Ooo while Finn kept things firmly in the realm of small talk. He talked about everything but the conflict with Wildberry's faction. In the end, he ended the meeting by thanking her for the visit and professing that he would think about all that she had said. In the now, he had to meet with the council. As Bonnie, Nadia, and Ragnhild watched, a visibly frustrated Jungle Princess walked out just as she'd come in. It took every thing the three princesses had to avoid howling laughter until Peppermint Butler returned to assure them Abeiuwa had gone.
Bonnie and Nadia both kissed their husband. Then it was time to get to work. They weren't out of the woods. More to the point, those three had been only the first of Finn's official visitors. There would be others stopping by to beg help or make demands. They needed to get their official house in order before that happened.
As the Privy Council discussed their next moves, two former members got a dreadful wakeup call. Breakfast Princess had spent a pretty sad evening with an empty, rumbling stomach and a cold slab of stone for a bed. Now, as she sat huddled in near-darkness, her mind going in slow circles of fear, worry, and regret, noise outside announced that things were getting considerably worse. She could hear soldiers filling the hall. A corner of her mind–an ugly, vile little corner–feared they had come for her at last and ernestly wished they would visit their ugly desire on Strudel instead. Another corner of her mind prayed for an opening–any opening. If she couldn't escape, she would have taken death.
She heard the guards as they opened Toast's door. Shaking her cell door violently, the eldest sister pleaded with the guards to leave her beloved sister alone. "Shut your mouth," growled the guard at her door, "or I might shut it for you..." Breakfast listened in terror as the men hauled her sister out of her cell. Then, moments later, they were opening hers. Panicked, Breakfast fought like a lion–until she was shoved face-first into the wall. The guards very nearly broke her jaw, and they shackled her so tightly she feared her hands would fall off.
Both princesses were hauled up out of their own dungeon and into the palace courtyard. There Breakfast got her first good look at Toast. The middle sister had a black eye, bruises up and down both arms, and yet more just visible under the torn and tattered dress she wore. Breakfast burst into tears. As her tears fell like rain, a new voice demanded, "where are you taking them?!" Rushing down the stairs, Strudel shouted, "they were to remain here with me! She promised!" Ignoring her as one ignores the impotent, the guards hauled Toast across to the wagon they'd brought. On the back were two cramped wooden boxes with locks on the doors.
Seeing that, Strudel shouted, "you won't take them! I forbid it!" The lead guard backhanded her hard enough to split both lips and knock her down. The evil mercenary leered at the youngest sister and asked, "you really think you're in charge, sweets? Piss off before I give you what we gave that one..." Breakfast told her sister, "let it go. We've lost for now. As long as you're still free, there's still hope." Now she willingly strode over to the wagon to be locked up. She could hear Strudel as they shut the door. Her sister lurched between anguished wails to bitter threats directed at the soldiers. None of it mattered. Breakfast heard the locking of Toast's prison, then felt the wagon lurch into motion. They were going into exile somewhere. She prayed to Glob as she'd never prayed before in her life, hoping she and Toast could survive just one more night.
As the sun headed towards the horizon over the Candy Kingdom, Finn the King returned to Bonnie's suite to find Lollipop waiting there with the brand new suit she'd made for him. The tall girl was all smiles as he approached. His eyes studied her critically. She seemed to be sleeping better, and he had some hope she'd moved on from her dealings with his nephew. Smiling back at her, he said, "I love you, baby. Thanks for lookin' out for me." Her face went red, and she giggled like she was young. As the big man studied his new suit, she said, "don't do too much dancing. Tonight's my turn."
Glancing up at her, he saw the gleam in her eye and asked, "you guys work it out?" "So as not to kill you with love and affection," she teased? "Yeah, honey. Drew was starting to get a little irritated about that." "Where is Drew," he asked? "I haven't seen her the whole time I've been back." "Oh, she'll be at the party, I'm sure," Lollipop replied. "Gotta' go!" Finn suddenly found himself staring at her retreating back. Not that he minded. She still had a nice butt. Something strange was going on, though. He just hoped they let him in on the story before things got serious.
After taking a hot shower, the big man got dressed and headed down to the celebratory party. It was a little crazy to think about celebrating now, but he knew Bonnie's peeps needed it. More to the point, it would make him look strong when he felt anything but. Arriving in the grand hall, he found more than two hundred people jammed in, with everyone enjoying the refreshments, the entertainment on the stage, and even a little dancing. Seeing happy people dancing, he thought of Simone and E and all the times they'd danced in this place, and he knew a moment's grief for the life he'd left behind. The moment passed, though. There was no time for regrets when he had eleven wives and nearly that many kids that needed him. Putting a smile on his face, he kept on walking, doing the meet and greet.
As he made his way through the crowd, exchanging pleasant words with those he met, she attached herself to his arm. "Good evening, my King," Ingrid greeted him. "Evening, GP," he replied. Stroking his arm, she said, "you fought well, my King. It was an unusual strategy, but I have to congratulate you." Finn thanked her for her timely assistance and apologized for being a boor. The beautiful woman merely smiled and kissed his cheek. Finn said nothing at all as Warrior Princess clung to his side while he slipped carefully through the crowd.
There seemed to be a few dozen angry, jealous women watching them along with a pack of men afflicted by the same emotion. Ingrid smiled archly at one and all, though Finn seemed oblivious to all of it. Halfway through the hall the pair encountered daughters Fionna and Star. The older of the pair looked dapper in a ankle-length dress in pale blue over frilly petticoats in white lace. Golden piping at her collar and down the front of her bodice suggested the uniform of an officer. Twined into her unruly golden locks was a pearl hair comb that reminded Ingrid of rabbit ears. Her younger sibling came dressed in a deep indigo number that hugged tight to her delicious little body, though dashes of silver on collar and sleeves and a silver badge on the belt she wore suggested she too was a soldier. Both greeted the big man with a poignant, "daddy."
Hugging the older girl, the big man said, "I'd hoped to see you before you left." "Of course, father," she replied. "We still need to consider our joint strategy and how my troops' position can be bolstered against our adversary." Finn didn't react at all. They had held a family conference about this, and it had gone straight in the ditch. Things had started out with the whole family coming down hard on Patrick for meddling–all but Sarah–and ended with Simone and Cherry in tears and Fionna coldly telling them all that it was past time she grew up. Finn still wanted Drew to look at his daughter, but he had to find Drew herself first. Fingering the hair-comb, the big man said, "this is very pretty. Where'd Patrick find it?" "Wicked Stepmom," corrected Fionna. "She had it made from some of the junk in her predecessor's apartment."
Finn thought that was ok. Brie was too busy working for Marceline to have time to be offended. The former Mafia Princess had moved on. Star was amused and even mellow as she hugged her father and kissed his cheek. "Looking good, daddy," she opined, as she fussed with his collar. The big man flushed and grinned. Spying a familiar form on the far side of the room, he said, "I gotta' go." Without a further word, he rushed off to where Drew was standing underneath a balcony juggling one of his kids on one hip while she talked to Ragnhild. He left an irritated Ingrid standing there with his daughters. "How are you settling in," asked Fionna?
Ignoring her, Ingrid strode off in a different direction, looking very much like she was going to spy on Fionna's father. The idiot. She was a much more annoying version of Breakfast Princess when she was in full cunt-mode. Speaking of which, thought Fionna, as she spied her sister-in-law. French Toast had been in a very raw state since the news came about Breakfast Kingdom falling. "I'm going to see Frenchie," said Fionna, as she stepped off. Star nodded, but her mind was on the impending fireworks. They were looking at two explosions. When their dad found out what they'd been collectively hiding, he was going to lose his shit. Shortly after, Fionna would be joining him.
Indeed, Ragnhild's face went ghost white as her father-in-law approached. Finn grabbed Drew by the shoulder and all but spun her around. His face went ghostly pale when he saw the bandages swathing her injured schnoz. "Baby," he breathed. "What happened to your nose?" Minutes later, the shouting erupted, and Star was on her way 'somewhere else'.
Hundreds of miles away, Wildberry Princess entered her private retreat with the intention of unwinding after the ugly day just experienced. They had gone from conquering the Candy Kingdom and smashing Bonnie to abject failure in just a few hours. She couldn't even be angry at Blargetha. Somehow those bitches had built even more illegal technology to thwart them. If anything, the sour berry felt like this was Maja's fault. She had been in this spot before. She should have anticipated this outcome. If she'd been on the ball, they would have prevented fucking Nadia from building that machine. Instead, they were in the ugly position of having attacked their fellows. They couldn't sweep this under the rug now.
The evil berry-woman's meat-bath had been arranged just the way she liked it. The broth was hot but not scalding. Spices had been mixed in, filling the room with pungent aromas. Wildberry unfastened her robe and was in the process of shedding it when a voice arrested her. "Hello, dearie," said Maja. "Getting comfortable?" Wildberry spun about, jerking her robe closed. This evil bitch had no right to be here! As the terrified princess shouted for the guards, Maja held up a glowing hand, saying, "why don't we just calm down?" The sour-berry was arrested in mid-cry, her mind going hazy. "Come along," murmured the witch. The berry-woman found her body floating as Maja turned to leave. A corner of her hazy, dreamy mind was offended that the witch used her secret passage to reach her meat-sauna, but the thought got lost in the haze of soft, fuzzy feeling.
Days after the ugly confrontation over Drew's injuries and the sudden revelation that pretty much everybody in the family had known–and hidden it–Finn the human sat down to breakfast in Ragnhild's formal salon looking more lost than angry. Betty would have to say it was an epic blowout–worthy of Simon the few times he'd lost his temper. They had been in a bit of a snit since with neither side backing down. Finn had slept in Bonnie's office and the girls had spent the night fuming–and crying–in little groups all over town. It had helped not at all that Fionna revealed Sarah's headaches and the fact that Bonnie would do nothing about them. The big man had tried to forbid the android woman from working and gotten a dose right back as Sarah showed him flashes of the independence Bonnie had come to hate.
Sitting with Ragnhild, Lollipop, Breezy, and Cherry at the other end of the car, Betty watched her husband stew in his misery. As usual nobody had managed to make the leap to understand how he felt. You have to fix this, Betty decided. It was a pretty safe bet nobody else understood how to. Picking up her plate, she got up, went down to Finn's end of the car, and sat down. "Hey," he greeted her. "Hey," she replied. "Thought we could talk." "Listening," Finn responded.
Reaching out, she tipped his face up so that he was looking at her. "Finn," she said. "Remember all those things you said to me in the Lich's lair?" Frowning, the big man nodded. He'd been pretty raw at the time, and he'd said some things he might never have said to her. "I'm glad you did," she said. "I needed to understand because nobody teaches women what it's like for men to be men. We get a lot of bad programming, and we tell each other lies about what we think men are about. Now... I need to tell you some things. Babe, you need to understand what women are about." Finn sat up a little straighter.
"We're not helpless," she said. "Yeah, we squeal when we see the spider on the table, and we duck behind you when there's an icky mouse because we want you to deal with it. We do that because... we're users. We... use men to handle all the stuff we'd really rather not be bothered with. It's a strategy that's been working for thousands of years, and it probably won't ever really stop..." Finn's jaw dropped open. Nodding, blushing a little, Betty said, "but we do know how to love, Finn. My fool of a son once thought that was impossible, but we do have that in our hearts. We can be just as loyal as any man, and we can see when our man has too much shit on his back..."
He was staring her straight in the eyes now. Smiling back, Betty said, "babe, all of us can see how much you're struggling. There hasn't been a day where somebody hasn't cussed Nadia or thought of slapping Emeraude, because we love you, and we all see how hard you're trying to take care of us. And so now we have to be grownups too. Our family–really our whole world–needs us to act our ages for a change. That means..." "Sometimes you get hurt too," he rumbled. "Yeah, Finn," she sighed, "and it also means that you have to learn to handle that without losing it. You're a hard man. You're one of the hardest men I've ever known. Now you have to be a different kind of hard. You have to let us meet our own fates, just like you had to let Djanira deal with hers."
"I'm sorry I lost my temper," he sighed. "You love us," Betty replied. "Let's get back to showing how much we love each other. We'll be in town soon, but you've got a little time to call Bonnie and Sarah and the others..." Finn nodded. His face brightened, and he began to look a bit more like the man she'd fallen in love with. In short order, Ragnhild, Lollipop, Breezy, and Cherry were at the table with them, and the family began to draw together once more–a united front against the darkness.
The train pulled into the station at half-past-nine, and there was a rather sizable welcome waiting on them. Finn, dressed in some of the finery that his wife had made for him, came down the stairs of the train to the cheers of the crowd, finding his most wayward of children there waiting on him. Just like his momma, Marshall Lee was laying it all out there with a long, dark coat on over his narrow frame and a broad-brimmed hat shielding his face from the sun. Finn was irritated enough to cuss him. He didn't like it when Marceline risked death like this, and he wasn't any more enthused about it now. "Finn," Marshall greeted him. "Marshall," Finn replied. Betty wasn't having any of that. She rushed forward and enthusiastically hugged the young man, telling him how much she'd missed him.
Cherry and Lollipop had to have their turns hugging the Vampire King, which sort of took him down a couple of notches in front of the folk of Engagement Ring Kingdom. For most of the people gathered there, Marshall Lee was the dark, mysterious force that had seduced their Princess and come to control their lands with an iron fist. To see this human side of him shocked some and made others actually laugh. Ingrid, who'd spent much of the trip trying to slip into Finn's bed while it was unoccupied, could only stand off to one side and fume. Marshall Lee had a couple of cars waiting there, and the Ring Guard swept the King of Ooo and his entourage into the cars, where the ladies found Engagement Ring Princess waiting. Finn found himself riding with his son.
As the cars set out, the younger man immediately went straight at his father, demanding, "what gives? I told you we were sitting this out. Why're you here?" "Do some deals," Finn replied. "On neutral ground. You guys being neutral actually is a help here. I'm hoping to talk to Wildberry and Yolanda and talk them down from this stupid war." The Vampire King actually stared at him in surprise. And then, suddenly, he got it. He understood his father like he'd never understood before. If Finn was the ultimate good in the world of Ooo, then sometimes that good meant doing something that seemed, on its face, unnatural. Maybe the sword wasn't the answer this time.
"You been spending too much time with Bonnie," the younger man chuckled. "Can't spend the time I want with your mom," Finn retorted. "She's working on some hush-hush project that she won't talk about." Marshall, who'd been victim of many of his mother's secrets over the years, muttered curses under his breath. They didn't need any more secret shenanigans out of his mom. She'd promised change, and she was backsliding. More to the point, he wanted to see his sisters. That was another promise that was getting broken. Finn's face seemed to say that this too was going to pass. He was working on it. And they had a bit of time yet before he was too old for things to matter.
Upon arrival at the palace, the Vampire King took over entertaining the ladies from his wife, while Connie and the King of Ooo sat down to break bread with her cabinet. The cabinet, who'd been very unhappy at the arbitrary declaration of the Vampire King, were chaffing about the edict and champing at the bit to involve themselves in the wider world. There were long-term grievances with Muscle Kingdom. There were a few tiny bandit-realms along the coast that had needed smashing for years. There was the no-man's land between their domain and Purple Kingdom, and there were the incessant raids with Warrior Kingdom to deal with. And, of course, there was the endless desire to annex and subjugate the Bee-People to the northwest.
Finn absorbed most of that with an unshakable serenity that left Constance Leyton uneasy. Then, when the shouting and the endless list of demands wound down, the big man calmly said, "I'm not here to change your neutrality..." Nodding at Constance, he said, "there is no place in my government for an immortal vampire. Mine is a government of mortal men and women. That's just the way things have to be." Which was the exact thing Constance had told them when she vowed to abdicate. Moving on, Finn said, "you have the perfect position in all of this. You're neutral. Your land is the one place all the interested parties can meet without coming to blows. I don't want to change that, and neither should you. War is ugly. I've seen more of it than I want to, and I don't wish that for you or anyone else."
Turning to the woman at his right, Finn told Ingrid, "your soldiers will have far more important things to deal with than hassling the Ring Guard. We're going to spend the next couple of hours coming to an understanding. You and Constance are going to sign that agreement, and there will be no more illegal gerrymandering of the border." Ingrid's mouth came open, but Finn calmly said, "in or out, Ingrid. Make a decision now. This is how it has to be. I don't have time or resources to fight a neutral kingdom over pride." Muttering curses, she nevertheless nodded her agreement.
Hundreds of miles away, Wildberry awoke with a start in her own bed. Sitting up, she looked around her in a panic and found that the sun was up. She'd lost hours! The last thing she remembered was going to her meat-sauna the previous night, and now she'd woken up here in bed! Climbing out from beneath the sheets, she rushed to the window to look out. In the courtyard, she found the troops–her troops–marshaling as if they were getting ready to move out! Panicked now, the princess rushed to the bell-pull, only to see her butler come into the Royal Suite with a dress and underwear.
"Lady Maja says that you must be prepared," announced the butler. "Your carriage is being brought 'round as we speak, so we don't have a lot of time, Your Highness..." Face gone red hot–how dare that wench order her around–Wildberry shouted, "I'm not going anywhere!" "Yeah," said Maja, "you are, dearie." She was standing at the door to the secret passage, and Wildberry vaguely remembered this woman putting her to sleep. As the princess gave a squeak of fear, Maja told her, "dear, sweet Finn has offered to work it out in Engagement Ring Kingdom. Now, chop-chop, dearie. I'm sure he'll be stunned to see what you look like now. Maybe you might get laid. Of course, with that cunty personality, maybe not." The witch's face looked amused, but there wasn't a lick of humor in her eyes. Remembering the beating Blargetha had gotten, Wildberry gulped down her pride and rushed to the bathroom. There were worse things than going on a sudden trip. More to the point, their partnership was becoming more and more one-sided every day. The sooner she got Maja back out of her life, the better off she would be.