A/N: Just read over some reviews for this and they were so nice. Sincerely thank you to anyone who has reviewed/read this story. Only three more chapters after this one and then Doll will finally be finished.
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Outside the barracks underneath the light, I'll always stand and wait for you at night
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There are all types of rain. There's the type of rain that lightly skims a window, the type that attacks it with heavy pelts, and the type that inelegantly nudges the pane like a shy teenage boy might do to his pretty crush. The rain that's currently making a move on the dormitory window is the type that slopes dejectedly down the glass. It sags in rotund drops. The rain seems sad. It's not the only one.
Sirius left. After a moment of rare weakness, he pulled himself together that night. He pushed me away, adopting a cold anger.
"I'm going after him."
The memory of his feet pounding down the corridor echoes in my mind, integrating with the present drizzle of rain. I chased after him, all the way up to the top of the Astronomy Tower.
"Don't be stupid, Sirius. You're just a kid. You can't go after a gang of Death Eaters."
I unwrap myself to open the window as a flutter of wings beat against the pane.
"Everyone thought Regulus was just a kid. Look what he's capable of."
I pull on the sleeves of Sirius's fading jumper, shivering slightly as the image of the both of us drenched in blood at the top of that treacherous tower creeps into my mind. I let the sodden owl in and it immediately hops over to the radiating heat of the fire.
"Please don't leave. Stay here with me."
I cringe at how openly desperate I was as I untie the package dangling off of the owl's leg. I tried to physically hold him back as he readied himself to depart the tower.
"It's not all about me and you, Lottie. It's not all about playing pointless games so we don't have to deal with what's really going on. There are people dying. People need help. My brother…"
He couldn't finish the sentence. I carefully peel back the brown paper wrapping and a box tumbles out.
"We've got to grow up sometime."
I rub my forehead, trying to remove the lingering sensation of his last rushed kiss before he departed. That was months ago. He still hasn't returned. For all his grand words I don't believe he was being very mature at all. He ran away. Courage is just an honourably disguised form of stupidity, and stupidity is immaturity's shadow. Hunting down Death Eaters isn't an act of responsibility. It's just the next reckless step after provoking troll bikers becomes tedious.
I've received a few brief letters. From what I can decipher, Sirius isn't searching for his brother anymore. He's lost now. There's nothing I can do for him. But he was right about one thing. There are people all around who need help. Everyday, students are collapsing in the corridors, unable to walk under the weight of heavy news. Not one meal passes without a heart stinging sob emitting from one of the tables.
Maybe I can't help Sirius, wherever he may be. But I can stop thinking about myself and try and do something for all the sad sods at Hogwarts. A lot of the kids around here are suffering real loss. I can't even comprehend what that must be like. So I've got a plan. And carrying it out will be a distraction I'm in dire need of.
No matter how busy my days are, I can't resist a detour to the Astronomy Tower when night time arrives. Surely he has to come back one day, he's left all his stuff here. The hardest part of waiting is not knowing when and if he'll come back. I could suffer happily through his absence if he was, say, gallivanting around the Bahamas on a family vacation or even serving a long-term sentence in Azkaban. I know he promised that he'd return. But a pirate's word can never be trusted.
The note pinned on the box is not written in Sirius's lazy scrawl. The letters loop with care in a rehearsed manner.
Dear Lottie,
How are you, my little pot plant?
You'll never guess what I found hiding in the attic. Don't lose it again, you careless sod.
Love from, your neglected father.
I pull out of the box the ragged limbs of the pirate figurine. His lazy smile seems even more lopsided than it did years ago. His leg is just about to fall off, making his stance comically crooked.
That's one pirate who found his way home. Now there's just one to go.