My Pet Peeve

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.

"You're sure you're an adult right?" Although Shikamaru wasn't sure why he was asking this question. Considering that his boyfriend was sitting in the middle of a fort made of sofa cushions the answer should've been pretty obvious.

"You're just jealous that you don't have a fort."

"Why did you even do this?" There had been no warning. He'd gone to have a shower and when he returned there it was.

"Why not?" That was as good an answer as any.

"You act like such a child sometimes."

"Nothing wrong with that."

"True." Hidan did seem happy doing whatever he felt like doing. He himself remembered the awesomeness of building forts. "I used to build loads of those. Especially when mum wanted me to go school shoe shopping." He shuddered.

"This is my first~. What do ya think?" Hidan was grinning.

"You've never made one before?" It seemed odd. This was one of the one things all children should do.

"I didn't do a lot of stuff when I was a kid." He didn't seem sad about this, just thoughtful.

"Well it's time to dismantle the fort. We're going shopping." They'd been indoors for days and he needed food.

"Oh." If the tone of his voice didn't give him away, the look in his eyes definitely did.

"Are you ok?" It was never very hard to work out when something was wrong with Hidan. He went too quiet for what Shikamaru now knew was his natural noise level.

"Fine! Just fine!" He was now replacing some of the sofa cushions. "…Do we have to go now?"

"We've been in for nearly a week. There is nothing left in the cupboards but noodles and beans."

"Maybe you could just go?"

"Well I could… I'd appreciate the help in carrying all the stuff back though."

"Oh." Hidan was clearly struggling with this. He wanted to help Shikamaru but he wanted to avoid going outside.

"You're scared of seeing Kakuzu again aren't you?" He knew he'd hit the nail on the head when Hidan stood up quickly and knocked the remains of the fort over.

"No! Don't be fucking stupid!" His voice sounded panicky.

"There's nothing wrong with being scared. But you can't let that asshole rule the rest of your life." It was strange to think of Hidan being that terrified. He'd seen him nervous about going outside before but when he got angry he was usually fine. People were more terrified of him if anything. This was more than his fear of crowds though. It was something deeper.

"You think I like being this way? I keep thinking about all the shit he used to do and I can't help it!"

"What did he do?" He hadn't wanted to ask before but he only had vague ideas about what was going on.

"I can't explain it… He was a dick most of the time but nice enough that I didn't want to leave, if you get me."

"I see…" It was the kind of thing some parents do to their children. Hidan was childlike in some ways so he could see how it worked. "You can't stop feeling like that completely but you're letting him win if you stop doing things."

"No I'm not!"

"He's still getting to you. The thing you have to remember is that you deserve to be happy and that guy doesn't deserve to have you think about him." All he could do was internally thank Ino for all those Cosmo magazines she had stashed. He'd managed to find one with an article on domestic abuse after he'd heard about some of Hidans problems as it was the best source of information at the time.

"I know…" Hidan only thought for a second before standing up, grabbing Shikamaru and pulling him out the front door, slamming the door shut as he went. "Ok, we're outside! Let's do this shit!"

"I'm glad that you're so enthusiastic. And I do appreciate the gesture… But my wallet's still inside so…"

"…I knew that."

-Page Break-

Although jumpy and on edge Hidan was trying to act as normal as possible. He even started a fight with a man who knocked into him in the street. Despite this, every time he saw someone that may have been Kakuzu he grabbed Shikamaru's arm and stared.

"Are you sure you're ok?" He was regretting forcing the boy out now.

"I'm fine. Just hurry this shit up." At least they were fairly close to a supermarket.

Maybe if he doesn't see the real Kakuzu while we're here, he might be better later on. He was hopeful about this. In the meantime he had to resort to the old tradition used by parents. Bribing Hidan with food so he would do whatever he wanted. In this case he was buying him loads of meat products in the hope that it would make him feel better. It was working as Hidan was acting more like his usual self. He even started loudly complaining about other shoppers. It probably would've been better if he wasn't doing that but if it stopped him freaking out then he would mostly ignore it.

Shikamaru left him by the trolley for a few seconds to grab something from a nearby shelf. When he came back the boy grabbed him and stood behind him. This was kind of annoying as he dropped his packets on the floor.

"What are you doing?" Hidan just stared wide eyed and pointed down the aisle. There was a couple at the other end who hadn't seemed to have noticed them. It was pretty obvious who this couple were. "Is that…?" He didn't need to finish the sentence as Hidan started nodding.

Fantastic. Why did that asshole have to be here now? Twice in one week after months of not seeing him was just too much. They were heading straight towards them, completely oblivious that Hidan was there. Understandably he fled around the corner, leaving Shikamaru standing there alone. They knew nothing about him so there was no danger if they saw him but he was still pretty pissed off. This man had caused Hidan problems and now he was causing him problems.

Selfish troublesome bastard. At the end of the aisle behind Kakuzu and girlfriend, Hidan was leaning round the corner and gesturing at him to come over so they could leave unseen. Shikamaru calmly walked down the middle of the aisle until he got about level with the couple before 'accidentally' knocking his trolley into Kakuzus knee. The shout of pain made it feel even more worthwhile.

"Oh no, I'm so sorry." He tried not to sound sarcastic as he said this but judging from the rage on the man's face he wasn't doing a very good job.

"Watch where you're going, you little shit!" It was even more satisfying when he saw the man limping off. Hidan looked completely shocked.

"You just…" There was a moment of silence while he allowed this to process in his head before he started laughing. Once he started he seemed to find it difficult to stop.

"He made me angry." Shikamaru rarely got seriously angry. It was just too troublesome. But when he did get angry the results could be interesting.

"Shit." He'd stopped laughing now. "What are we gonna do?"

"With what?"

"Getting out of here!"

"Ah… I see what you mean." Kakuzu and his girlfriend had headed towards the exit so they'd probably have to wait a while before they could safely leave.

"Could we go somewhere else?"

"…" Shikamaru thought for a minute. He knew Hidan meant another shop but he had a different place in mind. It probably wasn't the best thing to do and it would involve hassle but it would get them far away so they could deal with things. "I know what to do."

"What?"

"Come on." Leaving the trolley for someone else to deal with he grabbed Hidans arm and led him out the door. They stayed in silence all of the way home but Hidan finally had to say something when they got back to the house and Shikamaru started throwing lots of things in a bag.

"What the fuck are you doing?" It seemed like he'd lost it.

"Packing."

"I guessed dipshit. I wanted to know why."

"We're going on a bit of a field trip." Hidan stared at him.

"Ok… Great?" Usually Shikamaru was the one humouring mad people so it made a nice change. Even when they left the house, bags in tow, he didn't explain anything. It was only when they got to the train station that he finally had to ask.

"Just tell me where we're going. I'm not in the mood for all this shit."

"You're about to find out." He grabbed his phone and dialled.

"Shika?"

"Hi mum." There was a loud shriek on the other end of the phone and he had to hold it away from his ear. "What the hell woman?"

"What's going on down there? Are you ok? You haven't been kidnapped have you?"

"What?! No! Why would I be kidnapped? There would be no point in ransoming me. Why would you even think that?" His mother always complained if he never rang and yet now he was ringing he she was freaking out. Shikamaru was glad he had a boyfriend right now because he knew he'd never understand women. Although Hidan was just as weird.

"You never phone so I just assumed you'd been kidnapped and they were letting you on the phone so that we'd know you were alive to pay off the ransom."

"…Ok, first off you need to stop watching all those mystery dramas. Secondly, could we come and stay awhile?" Hidan was giving him funny looks at this point.

"We? Are you bringing your boyfriend back too?"

"I wouldn't leave him behind."

"Great! I thought you may have had an argument so you had to rush home to escape his wrath."

"…You know, I think you should just stop watching TV full stop." His mother's imagination when it came to situations like this was just too much for him to handle after the kind of day he'd been having. He wouldn't explain to them the real reason they were going down though. It was just too complicated.

"That's where we're going?" Understandably Hidan didn't seem too impressed. He didn't dislike his parents but he preferred it here where they were more alone.

"It's easy to get to and we can stay there for free."

"Makes sense… But when I said can we go somewhere else, I meant another shop not another town."

"I know that. I just thought a change of scenery might help." Especially as there were no Kakuzus in his home town.

-Page break-

Although the train journey was annoying, he only started to regret his plan when his dad was the one who turned up to give them a lift home. This would've been fine if he didn't have a beer in hand.

"Are you drinking and driving?"

"Of course not! That would be stupid." He took another sip of beer. "I'm driving and them whenever I stop, I'm drinking."

"I see…" Dammit mum, why aren't you here? Hidan was just smirking behind him. "…Ok dad, move to the back seat."

"Eh? Why?"

"You are not driving with that. Get in the back." Shikamaru hated driving but he was not going to risk his life in a car with his dad, a man who wasn't exactly a safe driver at the best of times.

"But how are we going to get home?"

"I'll dive."

"You can drive?" Hidan seemed kind of shocked by this idea.

"Something wrong with that?" Ok he wasn't that good at it, but he didn't like being doubted.

"You just seem like you'd be too lazy to do something like that."

"I am. But I'm not having that idiot drive us home."

"I can hear you!" Shikaku started giving him the finger through the car window. Ignoring his troublesome boyfriend and father he got into the driver's seat with Hidan in the passenger side. He started the engine and stalled the car.

"Dad, stop leaving the car in gear!" Troublesome old man.

"You should've checked it before you started!"

"…No comment." Hidan was enjoying the chaos which only continued when he went to drive out of the car park.

"Don't go that way! Go left!"

"Why?"

"Because the left way is faster."

"It's exactly the same distance both ways." Ignore him. Just ignore him. Two minutes later he started again.

"What are you doing? Just go!"

"It's a red light!"

"There's no one coming!"

"No! Just shut up!" Bloody back seat drivers. It was then that he heard a retching noise. Hidan was looking in the back seat and laughing. "Please tell me he's not-?"

"He is."

"Wonderful." At least it's not my car. By the time they got home the car smelt of vomit and Shikamaru and Shikaku were not talking to each other. Yoshino didn't even ask.

"You really need to stop driving drunk dear."

"I had a couple of beers!"

"There were more than a couple of beers in there. Mum, why didn't you pick us up?"

"I was busy!" Inside he could hear a soap theme song finishing.

"I can tell." Home sweet home. I'm regretting this already.