Rose was not sure how she managed to live through the weeks following her departure from the orphanage. Mostly, it was a blur – she could remember the dreadfully long and dull hours spent guarding the Department of Mysteries, remembered snippets of the few meetings she had attended (which, notably, lacked a certain werewolf), and a very surly Sirius. Other memories were slightly sharper – for example, the first meeting she attending with her full appearance back. Most of the Order had only ever seen her with her glasses on, or disguised as Anabelle, and so when she had first appeared, she had caused quiet a stir, much to her annoyance.

Most of all, however, she remembered the many sleepless nights, tossing and turning in bed, hating the situation she had put herself in, hating the fact that she had feelings for him, dwelling on how everything had changed that night in nineteen eighty one, and yet, as much as she tried not to, thinking about him. About how he was coping with out her, whether he thought about her as often as she thought about him, and occasionally, about how right his lips had felt against her own.

Admittedly, she had a lot of time to think about these things, what with her new, dull routine life style involving little more than her Department of Mysteries watches, her hours stuck in Grimmauld place with nothing more than a moody Sirius, a twisted house elf and overloud portraits.

It was not until early April that something out of the ordinary happened, and it arrived right at their step in the form of Albus Dumbledore.

"Professor?" said Rose, as he strode calmly, thought seriously in to the kitchen that evening. "Is everything alright – has something happened?"

Sirius, who had been slouching, half asleep, in his seat, suddenly sat up straight.

"Harry?" he asked, his eyes suddenly alert.

Dumbledore held up both hands wearily.

"Harry is fine, there has not been any attack, not unless you count my short squabble with the Minister – though he isn't going to remember any of that, either way."

"The minister...?" Rose asked incredulously.

Dumbledore sighed as he drew up a chair.

"Indeed. It seems dear Fudge had discovered Potters Defence group and had arrived at the castle, ready to expel him, as well as a number of other students. Conveniently, the group had named themselves Dumbledore's Army, and so I was able to manipulate the situation to make it seem like I was in charge. Naturally, that did not go down well, and so I am currently on the run from the Ministry."

Sirius swore profusely while Rose gawped at Albus, her mouth hanging wide open. Just when she taught things could not get worse.

"Where are you going to stay?" she asked. "Here?"

He nodded in her direction.

"I'm afraid I must trespass on your hospitality."

"It's not a problem. The more, the merrier," said Sirius.

Surprisingly, he looked like he meant it.

The following evening, an emergency meeting was held in order to update the Order members of the previous night's developments. As the kitchen slowly filled up with people, Rose and Sirius sat together in their corner, quietly watching the others, both too involved with their own thoughts to care for what was happening around them. It was not until Rose heard the shrill voice of Sirius' mother booming through out the kitchen that she came out of her stupor to rush upstairs and help Tonks silence the portrait.

As she approached the portrait, however, the screaming stopped abruptly. Rose, hurried forward, confused, as Tonks had never been able to silence the portrait alone before. Then, as the portrait finally came into view, so did something else. And it was not Tonks.

It was Remus.

Rose felt her breath catch in her throat as her eyes meet his. She was frozen for a moment, not knowing what to do, or say. The last time they had seen each other, there had been an unspoken, perhaps, not even understood tension between them which had resulted with a kiss that Rose still dreamt about at night. He himself looked incredibly tired, though alert.

"Hello," he said, and Rose could sense the uncertainty in his voice. "I see your back to your normal self."

Rose realised he must be wondering whether she was still annoyed with him – after all, she had been awfully short with him the last time they had spoken.

Rose gulped, forcing herself to regain composure.

"Dumbledore had a potion ready for me the night I returned, it changed me back completely. It's good to be back to normal, I must admit."

"I can imagine," was his only reply as they made their way to the kitchen in awkward silence.

Rose kept a few paces behind him, unable to keep her eyes off what she could see of the side of his face. She wished he would say something. She wished she could think of something to say, and, indeed, the courage with which to say it. She hated to admit it, but she'd missed him terribly.

Perhaps the silence was getting to her, or maybe it was just a result of the intoxicating effect being around someone she cared for. In reality, Rose did not have a clue why she spoke the following words.

"I've missed you," she blurted out, regretting the words as soon as they left her lips. She bit her tongue anxiously as Remus turned around to face her, looking thoroughly surprised.

"You did?"

Rose nodded, embarrassed.

"I thought you said there wasn't anything to miss," he replied as he rubbed his neck uncertainly.

"Well, you know what they say, about not knowing what you have until it's gone," she replied, and it was not until an amused smile played on his lips that she realised how flirtatious that had sounded.

"I – I meant, as in –" she started, but he cut her off.

"It's okay, I know what you meant," he said, still smiling, though warmly now. "Come on, lets head down stairs. I still can't believe Albus is on the run from the law."

They made their way into the almost full kitchen with Remus leading the way. Occasionally he was stopped by members of the Order as he walked past for a quick chat. It had been weeks, after all, since he had been last seen.

"Looks like he's bloody exhausted, doesn't he?" mumbled Sirius, watching Remus as he spoke to Molly and Tonks. "As if he's about to collapse any second."

"He doesn't look that bad," Rose said from Sirius' right (she had resumed her seat besides him). "You're exaggerating. I wonder if Lachlan was able to continue making the Wolfsbane without me."

"Why do you care so much?" Sirius asked, looking at her shrewdly.

"What?" she said defensively. "Why shouldn't I care? Or do you think I want him to run lose as werewolf once a month?"

"Whatever you say," he muttered, looking away from her, but not without winking at her first.

"What was that meant to mean?" she whispered harshly at him, forcing him to face her.

He was not able to reply, however, because at that moment, Remus had sat down besides him, stealing away his attention.

Sirius leaned back in his chair; his arms crossed across his chest and gave Remus an appraising look.

"It's about time," said Sirius. "I thought you must've died on the job. Why no word for all those weeks, then? You never usually stay away for that long."

Remus gave a wry smile.

"It's good to see you too, Sirius. I've been busy, getting Lachlan up to scratch and pretending to be depressed now that Anabelle is gone. Have you been up to much?"

Sirius snorted and Rose rolled her eyes.

"He's been a mess, maybe you can talk some sense in to him, Remus," said Rose, secretly enjoying the innocent excuse to chat casually with him. "All he does is sleep, eat, feed Buckbeak and sulk."

"Not that your any better yourself," Sirius challenged.

"Meaning what?" she replied calmly, not letting her surprise show.

"Don't think I haven't noticed how you've been moping around," he replied. "And someone's been depleting our supply of calming potion – I know I haven't been taking it. I don't know who else it could be, unless you're going to suggest Kreacher."

Rose couldn't think of what to say. It was true, of course, but she had thought that Sirius, who was too involved in his own moping, had not noticed a thing. She did not want to admit it, not when Remus was watching her so closely, waiting for her reply. Fortunately, she was spared, as Dumbledore had called the start of the meeting at that moment.

As soon as the meeting was over, Rose dismissed herself from the table, not wanting to give Sirius a chance to continue his interrogation. Why did he have to choose that moment to confront her? In front of Remus too!

"Damn it, Sirius," she muttered in frustration as she closed the door to her room.

It was not his fault. Not really. She had not told him anything about her feelings for Remus. It was not that she did not trust him with her secrets, but he was known to act rashly and would at least try to hint something to him. And she did not want that. Or did she?

She had wondered on that point for many hours on end already, and still could not come up with a decent answer. She could not tell Remus how she felt, not unless she knew how he felt for her. It could ruin everything if he did not return her feelings – not only would she look weak and desperate, but it would hurt her. She did not think she could stand to be hurt at his hands again.

And then, even if he did return her feelings, would he admit it? Or would he pretend not to, allowing his insecurities of being a werewolf stop him from being with her again, just like he did the first time. Or, if he did admit it, was she ready to commit herself to a relationship? Sure, he meant something to her, but there was no denying that she did not believe in love, and what was a relationship if not based on love, or at least, the illusion of it?

Knock. Knock.

The gentle tapping sound at her door startled Rose from her thoughts. She approached the door cautiously, wondering who it could possibly be.

"Who is it?" she asked.

"It's me, Remus," replied a hoarse voice she knew to well.

She bit her lips anxiously. What on earth could he want? She quickly composed herself before opening the door and sticking her head out.

"Can I come in?" he asked, giving her a small, uncertain smile. "I bought chocolate."

Sure enough, in his hand was a small slab of Honeydukes best chocolate. Rose smiled, remembering Remus' chocolate obsession from their youth.

"Well, when you put it that way..." she sighed, opening the door, and quickly closing it again once he had entered.

She sat down on one side of her bed and indicated that he should sit on the other. They sat in silence as Remus unwrapped the slab of chocolate and broke off a piece for her. She accepted it with thanks.

"So," she said slowly, after a few moments. "What brings you up here?"

"I might just ask you the same question," he replied. "You practically sprinted up here as soon as the meeting was over."

"Er – I needed to use the bathroom," she said lamely.

Remus raised an eyebrow.

"I see. And you didn't think to come back downstairs?"

"I – no. It doesn't matter. What are you doing here, anyway?"

"I had some chocolate to share," he said. "But no, seriously, I wanted to ask you something."

"Ask away," she replied nervously. She had a feeling she knew what was coming.

"That day, when you left. You cried. Why did you cry?"

The expression he wore as he asked that question was so sincere, so confused, that it made her feel guilty about the lie she was about to tell.

"I was acting. What else could I have done?" she replied, shrugging indifferently.

"Really? You're sure? I mean, it just seemed so real," he replied.

Was Rose imagining things, or did he actually look disappointed? She was so tempted to tell him the truth, to have him wrap his arms around... but she couldn't, she shouldn't, and she wouldn't.

"No Remus," she said softly, but firmly. "It wasn't real. It was an act. Just an act."