A/N thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed and favourited this story it means a lot. Sorry for the delay but I have been spending time thinking about what I am going to write in this chapter as you all deserve to read a chapter I think is to a standard you all deserve. 'Youth' was suggested by JCassie241 so thank you for it as it has helped create this idea which is Part 1, Part 2 will be chapter Z (the name for Z will be revealed at the end of this chapter).
I have also been coming up with ideas for a Jamie and Nikki one shot based on what I said in 'winter storm' when Jamie was 17 and Nikki was 5 and thanks to 2sidedstoryteller29995 who has started these ideas with wanting to see Jamie and Nikki's relationship. Alsoeveryone who would like to see Helen from 'winter storm' again just look out in my other story 'The Rookie' because Helen will be making an appearance in that.
Anyway on with the show and I hope you all like this chapter. And I apologize in advance if anyone seems out of character. Enjoy!
It was Sunday dinner and it was another tense affair. Danny had caught wind of something Jamie and Vinny had had done on their last couple of shifts, and Danny was reprimanding Jamie for his actions. Frank on this occasion was siding with Danny, making Jamie feel worthless, but to Jamie's surprise Henry was actually siding with him. The rest of the family had remained silent and had now evacuated the table.
Jamie and Vinny had been spending some time with kids of between the ages of 11 and 15 who lived in Lower Manhattan. There was no doubt that those kids would be brought into the gangs that worked out of Lower Manhattan, if they weren't already. Vinny and Jamie had been trying to get the kids to do their best and to stay away from the gangs, it was fortunate that the gangs in this area weren't as pushy as the gangs from the Bronx. Frank and Danny couldn't fault the reasons why Jamie and Vinny were trying to get the kids to stay away, but what they disagreed with was the way in which Jamie and Vinny were doing it. Jamie and Vinny would talk with the kids without any backup being outnumbered 10:1, this was dangerous because if the kids did work for the gangs then the gangs could be contacted and Jamie and Vinny could be attacked with no hope of getting out alive.
"Look we were only talking to them!" stated Jamie trying to keep his calm, but he was quickly losing it.
"Yes and we can't fault your reasons" reasoned Frank,
"But the way you two are dealing with it is all wrong!" Danny growled.
"What's wrong with trying to keep kids out of the gangs?!" exclaimed Jamie,
"Nothing!" assured Frank, "but doing it with only the two of you-"
"Is suicidal!" yelled Danny getting frustrated with Jamie's stubbornness.
"If we did it with more Officers it would look threatening and then it would give the gangs reason to attack us!" argued Jamie.
"Francis, Danny. Jamie is right. Talking to the kids with just two Officers, as the kids see Officers on patrol in pairs all the time, will look non-threatening. It will show the kids that they are trusted and will encourage them to believe in the NYPD and actually come to you if they need help. Or to even give you information" stated Henry seeing the value in what Jamie and Vinny were doing.
"Kid you have no idea what could happen!" snapped Danny,
Jamie lent back in his chair, arms crossed and eyes narrowed. "Really? Because you did your Patrol Officer days in Upper Manhattan away from a lot of the gangs, whereas I've had to deal with them since my first day as a rookie"
"That maybe but I've dealt with them since becoming a Detective! Which is longer than the few years you've spent on the job" countered Danny, not about to let Jamie win the argument.
"You haven't dealt with them face to face every day!" snapped Jamie.
"But I've seen the results" spat Danny.
Jamie heaved a massive sigh, "why must it always be a competition with you Danny? Every damn day you have to be better than everybody else" Danny was shocked, it wasn't very often Jamie cursed. And when he did you knew he was annoyed.
"Jamie it isn't a competition" stated Frank looking his youngest in the eye, "all we're saying is you and Vinny need to change tactics"
"No" Jamie grounded out.
"What did you just say to dad?!" exclaimed Danny.
"Oh shut it Danny! Stop acting like you can ground me, which you can't, even dad can't anymore. And no we won't change tactics do you want to know why? Because the kids do trust us and the proof is yesterday they came and told us some information about a murder that we could pass onto the investigating Detectives. Who then later made an arrest" Jamie said through gritted teeth.
"They'll do that to make you think they can trust you and then they'll turn on you" warned Danny,
"Trust issues much" muttered Jamie,
"Believe me after being on the job as long as me. You'll have 'trust issues'" stated Danny.
"Jamie listen to Danny he knows what he is talking about" urged Frank,
"What and I don't?" Jamie asked in a broken whisper with wide eyes. Henry was about to assure Jamie that Frank didn't mean it in that way, but Danny spoke first.
"Obviously. You are like a young kid in terms of street smarts. You're inexperienced out on the streets" snarked Danny.
"What Danny means is you're not as aware of the threats kids newly recruited into the gangs can pose" Frank pointed out.
"Francis!" exclaimed Henry shocked; he could see Jamie was taking a huge emotional beating from his father's and brother's words for something Henry could see the merits for.
"When you're like this I really think you should have stayed a lawyer" Danny added.
"Stop!" Henry commanded.
Jamie stood up scraping his chair on the floor and began to leave the room, "what's the matter Harvard? Feeling a little sensitive?" mocked Danny.
Jamie turned to glare at Danny and Frank; "I'll leave then if I'm that much of a disappointment"
"Alright" replied Danny,
"Danny enough!" snapped Henry, as Jamie stormed out the room and out the front door slamming it shut.
"What? Just pointing out what I think" shrugged Danny.
"Well that's not fair to Jamie" Henry replied sharply and then he turned to Frank "if you were just the Commissioner you would see value in what Jamie and Vinny were doing, in fact say if it was Vinny and Renzulli you would fine with it. Maybe even give them a commendation, but because it's Jamie and he's taking a risk with his life doing it you want him to stop because you're scared of losing him like Joe"
"Pop-" started Frank,
"No Francis" Henry sternly commented, "Jamie once told me that only does he feel he has to prove himself to his fellow Officers for being a Reagan, he also has to prove himself to this family. Because he fears that we will say he's bad at the job and say he should go back to Law despite loving being a cop" Henry directed the last part at Danny. "And you say you don't want him to lose his life being a cop, think about how many other people are murdered every week. But you both, and I'll admit I have done as well, tell Jamie things that makes him doubt himself. But if you keep saying the things you said today to him, you'll lose him anyway. Because he won't want to keep hearing it, and honestly? I won't blame him" Henry then promptly left the room.
####
Jamie drove away from his dad's house more upset than angry. He was hurt that his dad and Danny felt he didn't have a clue about what the streets were like. Jamie had almost felt like telling Danny and his dad that they had no idea what it was like to work undercover with one of the most ruthless crime families in the city, but he had thought that would have caused a whole other argument and that it was probably better, and safer, if he just left. Jamie chuckled without any humour, that if Joe was still alive he probably would have hauled Jamie back into the room and forced them all to speak to each other and not let anyone leave until they all stopped shouting. Jamie would have given anything for Joe to still be there to keep the Sunday dinners under control, because Jamie constantly felt that he couldn't do anything right in the family's eyes. Being the youngest meant that between his siblings they would have each achieved something in every sport and subject meaning Jamie had to work twice as hard to get any recognition from his family. And that's why despite wanting to be a cop when he got an offer from Harvard an University no one his family had ever gone too, he had felt so proud and the whole family had been to. But Danny, and slightly Joe as well, had been disappointed knowing at the time Jamie wanted to be a cop. Jamie felt his anger well up again. Danny always critised him! Even when he joined the Academy to become a cop Danny had turned around and said he should have stayed in Law. Jamie drew a deep breath to calm himself; he was going to show Danny and his dad. That he was a good, no great cop, and that he and Vinny were doing the right thing, in the right way.
####
"Grandpa" said Danny as he approached Henry,
"Yes Daniel" replied Henry. Danny cringed; Grandpa never called him Daniel unless he had done something seriously wrong.
"I'm sorry" Danny softly said,
"I'm not the one you should be apologizing too" Henry retorted.
Danny flinched, "I know-"
"If you know why are you sat here talking to me?"
"I don't know" admitted Danny.
"Let me ask you this Danny. When you were a rookie what was one of the first things you were told by your TO?" asked Henry leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees and kept eye contact with Danny who was stood in front of him.
"What has that got to do with anything?" Danny asked bemused.
"Answer me Danny" Henry said sharply.
"To observe and stay focused" responded Danny.
Henry nodded, "undoubtedly Jamie would have been told the same. But how well do you think Jamie is going to be able to stay focused with what you and your dad said swirling around his head? Jamie is going to think you and Francis think he can't handle the job." Henry then rose to his feet "But I am going to tell you that when I went on the ride-a-long with Jamie do know what I saw? I saw a fantastic cop who has great instincts, a cop who gets along with most of the people on his beat, and a cop who knows when to just talk or use force. I'll admit before I went on the ride-a-long I critised Jamie on his methods, I even did that one the first day of the ride-a-long. But you know what? On the second day I saw what kind of a cop Jamie is. And I'll tell you he is one of the best this city will ever see. So I will not stand by and watch as you and Francis, heck anyone else including the rest of this family, tell Jamie he 'thinks too much like a lawyer', 'should have stayed in Law' or even tell him he's doing something wrong. Because in fact anyone who says that is the one who is wrong! So my answer to those of you say that, is to get in a squad car with Jamie and go on a ride-a-long for a couple of days. And then you'll see how wrong you are and how right Jamie is" Henry then resumed his seat effectively ending the conversation, knowing full well the rest of the family had been listening to the conversation between Danny and him from the moment Danny had walked into the room.
####
It was Monday and Jamie and Vinny (nearing the end of their shift) had been talking to the young kids again when as they were about to leave Russell who was 13 tugged on Jamie's sleeve to get his attention.
"What's wrong Russell?" asked Jamie, looking at the way in which Russell eyes were flickering from side to side and the way Russell was wringing his hands told Jamie Russell was scared.
"Er…Jamie the gang said I had two days to make a decision about their offer" murmured Russell.
"What offer?" questioned Jamie softly, already knowing what the 'offer' was.
"To join them or they'll recruit my younger brother. But what can I do?! Jimmy's 10 and easily influenced! They'll convince him to join but he can't he's too young!" cried Russell his blue eyes shimmering with fear. Jamie's heart broke hearing this and thought you're too young to have to deal with this as well Russell.
"Is there any way you and Jimmy can stay away from them?" asked Jamie already fearing he knew the answer.
"No! One of the guys high up in the gang live two floors below us!" whimpered Russell, he knew it was childish of him to whimper but he was unashamed to admit he was scared. He never wanted to join a gang. Jamie opened his mouth to respond but Russell interrupted sounding years older than his own age, "it's alright Jamie. I know you're only trying to help and I don't want to disappoint you but I gotta join to save Jimmy. They said they'd leave Jimmy alone as long as I joined, and that's what I'm gonna do. It's just…I had always wanted to become a cop and hearing how Vinny managed to be a cop made me have hope. Never mind just so long as Jimmy stays away from the gang. Please keep trying to save the other kids Jamie" Russell then gave Jamie a small smile before he turned and walked away.
Jamie's eyes followed Russell and felt angry at the injustice of how kids like Russell had to grow up in fear. Vinny came to stand beside Jamie and patted his shoulder.
"We tried" murmured Vinny, feeling just as angry as Jamie.
"We should have tried harder!" snapped Jamie,
"I know, but as the saying goes 'you can't save them all'" Vinny replied dejectedly.
"Well the saying sucks!" spat Jamie, with one more look at the street where Russell had left Jamie turned back to the squad car. When he got in he hit the steering wheel exclaiming "damn it!" and then he rested his head against the headrest. Vinny silently got in the car and they drove back to the 12th in silence, both knowing that the situation Russell had found himself in had now spurred the two Officers to spread the word to other Officers who patrolled the beat. They were going to make sure that no other kids would fall through the cracks again.
So on the Tuesday Jamie and Vinny spoke to Renzulli, then during Roll Call Renzulli had Vinny and Jamie stand up and tell the other Officers and Sergeants (who Renzulli more or less pushed into the room) what they had been doing and the results they had been getting.
"Look" said Jamie remembering his dad's and Danny's words, "I know there is the threat that the kids may draw in your trust of them and then turn the gang on you. But Vinny and I have managed to get the kids to ask us for help and even inform us about possible suspects. A lot of the time the kids are young enough to be easily influenced and if we get out there often enough and just talk to them we'll get them to see that they don't have to join the gangs. Just yesterday a 13 year old kid, Russell Howard, came and told me he was joining the gang all because they said if he didn't they would recruit his younger brother Jimmy who is 10. And you know what? Russell even told me that he had always wanted to become a cop"
Jamie watched as the entire group of gathered Officers and Sergeants visibly reacted to the news that a kid who was now joining the gang had wanted to be a cop. Vinny subtlety gave a thumbs up to Jamie and moved more to the side so all gathered had their undivided attention on Jamie as Jamie continued.
"Have you all noticed how the gang only take one kid from any family to join? They do it because they know the older sibling will join to keep their younger siblings safe. So you see not all the kids joining the gangs see it as an easy option or as a way to protect themselves. They do it to protect their families. The very same reason why we are all in this room as cops, those kids were just unlucky enough to grow up in an area where it's either join the gang or watch as your younger brother joins them. Their just kids they should be allowed to act like one, not live in fear of the day when they will have to join the gang."
Renzulli stood leaning against the wall and was nodding with a small smile watching with proud eyes as he watched the very same Officer that had been his rookie three years ago make this speech. Looking around the room Renzulli could see how the Officers and Sergeants (who outranked Jamie) seemed to sit up straighter in response to Jamie's words. Renzulli watched as their eyes glinted as they gained the resolve to help save the kids from within their jurisdiction, he had no doubt that those gathered in the room would be spreading the word to other Patrol Officers in other precincts. It's a shame though thought Renzulli; even if this news is spread the other Patrol Officers won't get to hear this speech. Just then Renzulli caught glimpse of Officer Marcus Aston who graduated the Academy with Jamie was holding his cell phone a little.
Renzulli walked over and Marcus grinned, "I figured if word gets spread around other Patrol Officers should hear the speech which seems to have won the 12th over"
Renzulli patted Marcus's shoulder, "great thinking Aston"
"Thanks Sarge. I never thought I'd see Jamie making a speech I just never thought it would his kind of thing. But I have to say he could probably give his old man a run for his money speech wise"
"I think your right Aston. Hey think you could email that to me?"
"Sure. But why?"
"Just thinking Jamie's family should see how good he is at giving speeches" responded Renzulli grinning.
"You got it Sarge" grinned Marcus and on his way back to his locker was taping on his phone. Renzulli then walked towards Jamie smiling.
Jamie saw Renzulli's smiled and frowned slightly asking, "what?"
"Nothing" smirked Renzulli; Jamie narrowed his eyes so Renzulli added "just thinking you make a good speech. Better than your old man I'd reckon" at the mention of Frank Jamie looked away and his posture tensed. "What's wrong?" demanded Renzulli.
"It's just dad and Danny think talking to the kids just me and Vinny on our own is wrong" sighed Jamie.
"Well it isn't" responded Renzulli.
"I know, even Grandpa agreed with me. Any way I'd best start my shift, see you later Sarge" said Jamie as he walked over to Vinny grabbing the keys for the squad car.
"Yeah see you later kid!" called Renzulli.
####
It was Sunday again and because of the heat the family were having a BBQ and Jamie was dreading arriving at the house. He hadn't spoken to anyone from the family since the week before. Not out of stubbornness to have his dad and Danny say sorry, but because he had been focused on figuring out ways to help the kids and Russell.
Jamie found his Grandpa, dad and Danny were in the kitchen so Jamie decided to suck it up and go get a beer.
"Oh look who it is. Long-time no see kid" smirked Danny as Jamie entered the room. Frank just observed Jamie and thought about what Henry had said about Jamie feeling as if he had something to prove to the family.
"Shut up Danny" murmured Jamie, Henry smiled at him and Jamie smiled in return happy that at least one person in the family supported him.
"Yeah whatever kid. You know you were saying how you and Vinny were getting results? Well a buddy of mine in Robbery told me a kid Russell Howard took part in a Robbery. So great success there kid" said Danny. That was when Jamie snapped.
Jamie slammed his beer bottle on the table top and glared at Danny, "you have no idea what is happening out there Danny"
"Not this again" sighed Danny, this only angered Jamie further.
"Right that's it!" yelled Jamie throwing his hands up in the air shocking Frank and Danny. But not Henry who had been waiting for Jamie to snap. "You know what Danny? Russell is only 13 and he only joined the gang to save his younger brother from getting pulled into it! And do you know what Russell told me on Monday? 'Never mind just so long as Jimmy stays away from the gang. Please keep trying to save the other kids Jamie' Russell has given up on himself to save his brother"
"Jamie" began Danny shocked at seeing the raw emotion in Jamie's eyes and hearing it in his voice. He had never seen Jamie like this.
"No Danny" spat Jamie, "stop saying how I'm going about the situation all wrong because I'm not! Just because you wouldn't do the same as Russell!"
"What?!" exclaimed Danny,
Frank tried to intervene but Henry stopped him murmuring "they need to get everything out in the open"
"You'd better not be suggesting that if we were in that situation that I would leave my younger brothers to be left at the mercy of a gang" snapped Danny, hurt that Jamie would think that of him.
"Maybe you would save Joe from joining a gang" admitted Jamie,
"I would save you as well!" shouted Danny.
"No you wouldn't!" yelled Jamie,
"Yes I would! You're my brother and I will help you through anything!" thundered Danny.
"No. You wouldn't. All because I'm such a disappointment to you" spat Jamie.
"No you're not!" assured Danny. Worried that Jamie thought he meant so little to Danny.
"Yes I am! When I went to Harvard you said you were disappointed. Then when I joined the Academy you were disappointed then! I'm just one big disappointment to you Danny!" bellowed Jamie.
"No! It's because I don't want to lose you!" replied Danny not concealing the emotions he was feeling from his voice.
"Right" snarked Jamie, who then turned to leave.
"Jamie?! Where are you going?" called Frank,
"I think it would be best if I skipped dinner today dad. And I'm gonna go out and help the kids on my beat. The kids out on the streets that I'm not so aware about the threat they can pose" said Jamie over his shoulder before he was out the front with a slam. Leaving Danny and Frank in stunned silence. Henry left the room not wanting to have to say 'I told you so' Henry was only surprised Jamie hadn't stayed longer to shout and rave at Frank and Danny.
####
It was Tuesday and Jamie had ignored the calls and texts from his dad and Danny, wanting to get his anger and frustration about the whole situation out of his system before he sat down and talked to his dad and Danny. Jamie and Vinny were walking down a block when Jamie's name was shouted, Jamie turned to see Russell running towards them.
"Jamie! Vinny! You have to get out of here!" panted Russell, it seemed he had been running to try and find them.
"Why?" asked Jamie,
"Because the gang are looking for you! Their angry that you and other Officers have been talking to the kids who are now not joining the gang. And the gang are after you because you're the ones started to talk to the kids! So you need to get out of here!" urged Russell looking pleadingly up at Vinny and Jamie.
"Sorry kid but we don't retreat. We haul criminals into Central Booking" replied Vinny.
"But you need to get away!" pleaded Russell.
"Sorry Russell we're not leaving" responded Jamie.
Russell began to say something and then his eyes widened, Jamie and Vinny turned to see six gang members walking towards them. "Hey! You little twerp you're supposed to be leading them to us not warning them!" shouted the leader known to the NYPD as Tyler Robinson.
"Russell run" urged Jamie but he turned to see six more gang members approach them. Vinny, Jamie and Russell were then dragged to a waiting van removed of any weapons. Jamie was concerned to feel and hear the van start driving, he noticed though he still had his cell phone and began texting not wanting to alert the gang to what he was doing.
Danny, I'm so sorry about what I said on Sunday to you and dad, please forgive me. On our beat Russell came to warn me and Vinny the gang were after us. The gang have got me, Vinny and Russell in the back of a van. Not sure where they're taking us. I know this is cheesy, but if I never see you again I want you to know. I know you care about me and that I would give anything to take back the words I said. You're younger brother for always Jamie.
Jamie knew he didn't have to sign the text, Danny would see the ID but knowing if he was to die at the hands of the gang then he wanted the text to show how much Jamie valued Danny as his older brother.
Through the darkness of the van Jamie shared a look with Vinny, each knew what the message was the other was conveying. I'm sorry but I'm glad to have you as a friend.
Russell crawled to Jamie and whispered, "I'm sorry"
"It's not your fault Russell, none of this is" whispered Jamie in reply.
"You tried to warn us, that makes none of this your fault" added Vinny from across the van.
Jamie then comfortingly squeezed Russell's arm and Russell lowered his head onto Jamie's shoulder and tried not to cry. Jamie rubbed Russell's back "it's okay Russell" Jamie murmured hoping and prayed that this would all end in favour of himself, Vinny and Russell.
TBC in the next chapter: Z is for Zoothapsis (premature burial)