Marian & Regina
Marian: Gina?
Regina: Marian? I think you forget to add the "Re" part...
Marian: It's Roland! Hi, Gina!
Regina: Oh hello sweetie! Where is your mommy?
Marian: With Z in the living room. Can we go get ice cream?
Regina: How about you go give your mommy the phone and I'll ask her, okay?
Marian: Okay!
Regina: Marian?
Marian: Regina? Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. Roland must've grabbed my phone from my purse.
Regina: No worries, dear. I know what it's like to have a five year old. I was wondering if you, Roland and my sister would like to join me for ice cream later since Henry's still out fishing?
Marian: Sure, that sounds lovely. We'll meet you at Granny's.
Regina: Perfect! See you then~ Oh, before I forget! How's everything going?
Marian: Good so far, thank you for asking. Zelena's been really supportive.
Regina: Good to hear. I know she cares a great deal about you and Roland. If you can trust anyone with your life, it's her. She'll protect you at all costs.
Marian: I know, I can see it in her eyes every time she looks at me. Amongst other things.
Regina: Oh God. That's my queue to find something to do.
Marian: Lol relax, 'Gina'. Or should I say sister-in-law?
Regina: Regina is just fine, dear. Unless you want me to refer to you as the frozen archer.
Marian: We're going to get along swimmingly.
Regina: I can already sense the loving moments.
Marian: See you soon, Regina.
Snow, Emma & Charming
Snow: Emma...
Emma: Don't.
Charming: We hadn't intended on you finding out like that.
Snow: We are so sorry!
Emma: Were you ever going to tell me?! I HAVE TO GET A NEW MATTRESS NOW. WHEN DOES THE TRAUMATIZING END?!
Charming: We aren't sure; parents aren't perfect, y'know.
Snow: I promise we'll do our best to keep from letting something like that happen again.
Emma: And I'm supposed to just blindly believe that?
Charming: Yes. We're your parents. If you can't trust us then who can you trust?
Snow: Please...
Emma: I'd rather put my trust in Gold right about now...Or hell, even Cora!
Cora: I WAS SUMMONED FROM THE DEPTHS OF HELL. What do you peasants want?
Charming: Depths of hell sounds about right...
Cora: Watch it, Uncharming.
Snow: Cora please, we're trying to talk to Emma.
Emma: Why me? What did I do to deserve this?
Cora: Oooh, about the sex tape? Ha! Amateurs. You two need to get a new position, flexibility is in this season.
Emma: OH MY GOD STOP
Charming: Why don't you crawl back under a rock, bat?
Snow: I hate everything...
Emma: I hate everyone.
Cora: OH SHUT UP BLONDIE! Did you tell your parents about how you had sex on, and I quote, "'Ze couch"?
Charming: WHAT?!
Emma: CORA FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SHUT UP!
Snow: WHO IN THE HELL DID YOU HAVE SEX WITH ON MY COUCH OH MY GOD NOT MY BEAUTIFUL COUCH
Cora: Mhm. See. Stop acting so damn pure. Your parents made a mistake, a stupid one, but a mistake nonetheless. And they care about you enough to try and spare you the embarrassment. Pft, if it had been Regina, I would've showed her the video myself and recorded her reaction. So forgive your parents and move on.
Charming: WHO WAS IT EMMA?!
Emma: I CAN'T FUNCTION PROPERLY RIGHT NOW, I'M GOING GET DRUNK.
Snow: OH NO YOU DON'T YOUNG LADY, YOU BRING YOUR NARROW ASS HOME RIGHT NOW!
Cora: My work here is done!
Maleficent, Cruella, Ursula & Regina
Maleficent: Girls, we need to talk.
Cruella: What is it darling, Ursula and I are kind of...busy.
Regina: Oh my- please refrain from sharing any details.
Ursula: Talk quick!
Maleficent: Can you two keep it in your pants for five minutes?!
Cruella: Doubt it.
Regina: If this conversation doesn't change quickly, I'm going to kindly step away from my phone.
Ursula: For the record, I always keep it in my pants, thank you very much. I just invite my love inside my pants.
Maleficent: ...
Cruella: Oh my God...Maleficent hurry the hell up and tell us what you want!
Regina: I almost choked on my water. I hate you all.
Ursula: Feeling's mutual, Queenie.
Maleficent: OKAY. I was going to suggest we get together for lunch today but it's pretty obvious that isn't going to happen.
Regina: You have a better chance at getting my mother to be nice.
Maleficent: And how is dear Cora? Well, I hope.
Regina: Annoying as hell and meddlesome. So basically she's normal.
Maleficent: That's good. She's one hell of a drinking buddy.
Regina: I think we lost the other two.
Maleficent: YOU TWO ARE SICKENING!
Regina: Guess we'll have to take a rain check on that lunch.
Maleficent: Well, the offer still stands for you.
Regina: I do have to meet Marian and Zelena for ice cream later on but we can have lunch here at my house. And actually, you can tag along for ice cream if you want. It'll be good for you to get to know more people.
Maleficent: I suppose a little socializing won't hurt, per se.
Regina: That's the spirit.
Maleficent: I'll be over in a flash. I'm starving.
Regina: I'm already preparing the plates, dear.
Maleficent: Good girl. On my way.
Cora & Hook
Cora: Handless Wonder!
Hook: Oh bloody hell, what do you want?
Cora: Is that any way to address a Captain? YOUR Captain?
Hook: No. But since you didn't address me properly, why should I?
Cora: Because I will hang you upside down and beat you again.
Hook: Captain Cora! How lovely it is to speak to you again. To what do I owe the pleasure?
Cora: Better. I'm curious about something. What do you know about Maleficent?
Hook: The dragon?
Cora: Yes.
Hook: Not much. She has a grown daughter that was friends with Emma. That's about it.
Cora: Hmm. And has she always been friendly with Regina?
Hook: Since the crocodile brought her back from the dead, they've gotten along.
Cora: Interesting...
Hook: What is it Captain?
Cora: I just peered downstairs to see them eating lunch together...
Hook: What's so wrong with that?
Cora: Regina's doing that thing with her face.
Hook: What thing?
Cora: Smiling!
Hook: The fu- Captain, they're just friends. The lass deserves companionship aside from Henry and you.
Cora: NO! Let everyone know that there's a meeting tonight! We have a new threat to our ship...Tell them DragonQueen is coming...