Here is the next chapter. And I just now realized that I didn't put an AN in the previous chapter...yeah. A few notes:
If two characters share the same first name, they will almost always be referred to by their last name.
Second, since I don't want to say this every single time I do the second AN, just pretend the phrase "I've got some splanin' to do~" is at the end of every AN.
Third, nowadays, my passion for writing has been stomped on by various things. So updates will be zetta slow, sadly.
Finally, credit goes to Superstarultra, for Beat'ing this, and the last chapters. Okay, enough of my pointless rambling, here's the chapter.
Kyon was panting heavily, after the huge, "WHAT." he exclaimed. "Are you trying to mess with me?"
"I wish I was, son. But it's true. I am your father." Igor sighed. "Allow me to explain myself. You see, I got bored one day, you would, too, if you spend every day in a strange-ass blue room." Igor paused, taking a wine glass, and sipping some of the liquid. "So I decided to visit one of the most fascinating, if not dangerous planes of existence. That place, was called Gensokyo..." Igor handed the bottle and a couple of glasses to the pair sitting across the table from him. "Go ahead. You'll probably need it."
"I guess," Kyonko said, as she poured herself, and her other self a glass of the red wine.
"Now, where was I? Oh yes, Gensokyo. Now normally, it would be next to impossible to turn me on, after all, you've seen the women who hang around here. It's hard to beat that. However, I saw someone, I would never forget, because she nearly killed me once she became sober. Her name, was Reimu Hakurei, your mother, Kyon. It just so happened, that it was the day of the Hakurei neighborhood association festival. I saw her, dancing on the stage, with a faint blush on her cheeks, indicating that she was drunk. The sake bottles at her feet helped out quite a bit as well. However, what enticed me...were her exposed armpits..." Igor dreamily said.
"Huh? Armpits? Are you listing to this crazy man, other me?" Kyonko elbowed her male counterpart, who had a blank look on his face.
"Hmm? Sure," He replied, still sounding shocked.
"Shall I go on? Or do you need time to recover, son?" Igor asked Kyon.
"I really...don't know what the hell is going on anymore. But, Igor, you left me on some random doorstop, hoping that whoever was inside would take care of me, right?" Kyon asked, anger sneaking up on his tone.
"That was your mother's doing. If she wasn't so mad at me, I would have wanted to raise you myself. However, I have been watching over you, hoping to finally help you through your maturing," Igor replied calmly. "If you think of me as a liar or as someone who abandoned you, I understand. But it is important that you listen to the rest of my story, so you can at least understand what happened. I also understand that you don't call me father. I have no right to hold that title." The old man sighed, a slight hint of sadness coming from his voice.
"...Fine. Tell me everything," Kyon told the old man.
"I shall. I will only tell you the details from now on, nothing to distract you. I had a few bottles of the sake they had and joined the party. I don't remember the rest of the party, but when I awoke, I was in a futon, nude, with that miko, Reimu, laying next to me, also in the nude. My eyes went wide as I tried to escape the shrine, before she awoke, but it was too late. As soon I got my pants on, the woman saw me, and was immediately outraged. I ran out of the shrine, trying to escape, but as I ran out the door, I was struck in the back with some sort of paper seal. I couldn't move a single muscle in my body. The nude shrine maiden approached me, with an enraged look in her face. She looked like a bat that had flown through the gates of hell. She held a staff with paper amulets attached to it and raised it up to smite me. The next second, however, I found myself back in the Velvet Room, sitting comfortably on my seat," Igor sighed. "If it weren't for Tempra, I would have died right there."
"Ah, yes." Tempra stepped in the door, her outfit slightly bloodied up. "I didn't really do much that day. All I did was stop time for a few seconds, drag Igor to the Velvet door I called, and un-stopped time. I then yelled at the miko to have some decency. She blushed and ran back into the shrine. Before I left, I canceled the barrier around the shrine, by aging it a thousand years, so it could be watched from the Velvet Room."
"What happened with you?" Kyon asked, his mind slightly more at ease.
"Oh, this?" She pointed to the blood on her outfit. "I had a bit of a disagreement with an ancient red dragon. And since my time magic didn't seem to work on him, I had to do it the hard way."
"I see...Igor, is there anything else?" Kyon asked.
"There is, but it would be better to hear it from your mother. Which is why you two are switching places," Igor explained.
"Huh?" Kyon and Kyonko said at the same time.
"You need to go to Gensokyo to speak with that miko, Kyon." The long-nosed aristocrat pointed at Kyon. He then turned to Kyonko. "And you might get something out of meeting your friend's counterparts."
"It depends. How long will this take?" Kyon asked.
"Do not worry. You will switch back before Miku-Geddon. And Miss Kyonko...your traveling partners will still be in Gensokyo by the time you return, so you can still figure out what needs to be done. Are you up for it?"
"I'm in. I am tired of that psycho bitch, Haruko. Besides, I wonder how everyone looks here..." Kyonko said, sounding confident.
"I guess I'm in, too. But just one more thing... if these abilities of mine were obtained from my dad, Syaoran, how can I have them, when you're supposed to be my father?" Kyon asked.
"That is Reimu's doing. Ask her yourself." Igor took another sip of wine. "It's time you both awakened. See you later, Kyon. You, too, Miss Kyonko."
SOMEWHERE IN GENSOKYO...
"Oh, my god! I really screwed up!" Takeba panicked, as she held her head in her hands, running around in circles.
"What's wrong?" Yusei asked, concerned.
"I TURNED THAT PONY-TAILED GIRL INTO A GUY!" The persona-user screamed, as she started to shake. "Oh, god, Mistress Yakumo is going to have my head on a plate for this..."
"Calm down!" The duelist grabbed Takeba's shoulders, trying to calm her down a little. "Where is she?"
"O-Over there, behind those trees. She was still passed out when I looked for her," Takeba explained, still sounding panicked.
"I see. Perhaps we should ask her. Maybe that will shine some light on this." Yusei said.
"O-Okay." Takeba replied, as the riding duelist helped her up. The two walked by the trees, and saw a sandy-haired man, wearing what looked like a school uniform of sorts, laying by the tree. As luck would have it, the boy was calmly rustling from his sleep before his eyes popped open. He let out a scream and took in his surroundings for a brief second, before turning his attention to the two before him.
"Is this... Gensokyo?" He asked, looking confused, as always.
"Yeah. You wouldn't happen to know a woman named Kyonko, would you?" Yusei asked.
"Oh, yeah. She and I are counterparts...I think. I'm still trying to digest it myself. All I know at the moment is, she and I literally switched locations for the week." Kyon explained, still trying to make sense of the situation.
"Do you know why you had to switch places?"
"Apparently, my birth mother lives here in Gensokyo. My so-called birth father switched our places so I could talk with her," The cynic said, still showing disdain for Igor.
"Hmm... I guess we'll just play it out for now. I'm Yusei Fudo, one of your counterpart's traveling companions."
"My name... we don't have time to waste, do we? Just call me Kyon, it's what everybody else calls me."
"You have a stupidly long name, right?" The delinquent asked.
"Pretty much." He turned to Takeba, who was still cowering behind the duelist. "Don't worry, I won't hurt you."
"I guess you're right. I hope Mistress Yakumo doesn't blame me for this... My name is Yukari Takeba. I'm the one who brought this group here."
"Oh. I'm sorry if I got you in any trouble, Takeba."
"Don't worry. You sound like you have worse problems than me, anyways," The persona-user replied.
Then the group heard a loud voice booming from the forest. "YU-KUN, YU-KUN~... WHERE ARE YOU~!"
"Oh, great. She's awake." Yusei face-palmed as he turned back to the two students. "Do you know where your mother might be? At least the name of the location?"
"The Hakurei Shrine," Kyon replied.
"Takeba, do you know where that may be?" The duelist asked.
"Yeah, I've been there a few times with the mistress. Why?"
"Take Kyon to speak with her. I'm afraid that, with Haruko around, not much speaking will be done. I'll distract her and try to keep her around here."
"Haruko?" Kyon asked.
"You'll see later on. For now, go on," Yusei spoke back.
"Alright. Takeba, would you mind leading the way?"
"I'm cool for that. I don't really enjoy Haruko's company, and I've only know her for about five minutes!" Takeba said, glad to be free of the obnoxious female for at least just a few hours.
"Trust me. It doesn't get better." Yusei headed off back into the woods, where Haruko was camped out.
BACK AT THE SOS BRIGADE'S CLUBROOM...
"This is atrocious! The room flashes and suddenly, Kyon's a girl! And a flat one at that!" Haruhi was raging, looking down at the unconscious Kyonko.
"Calm down. This could be the work of Madam Torugai. Perhaps he must seek information in the womenfolk's changing rooms, or something..." Balsa stated, sounding sarcastic.
"Huh? You don't sound concerned about this at all!"
"Only because I have a feeling I know what's going on. I've heard of alternate dimensions from Madam Torugai. In one, everybody's genders are swapped. If this is the only dimension that's been affected, than our Kyon must be in the gender-swap world which is much safer. ...Hmm? She's waking up. Let's ask her ourselves, shall we?" Balsa offered.
"Fine. But I want a full explanation for this at some point in the future!" Haruhi exclaimed, crossing her arms.
The pony-tailed girl let out a yawn as her eyes slowly opened. She then sat up and took in her surroundings. "The SOS Brigade clubroom... I never thought I'd be so happy to be back here!" It was at that moment that Kyonko looked at the other two occupants of the room. "Haruki? Is that you?"
"Hmm? Oh, that must be what I'm called in that other world. It wouldn't make sense to have the same names, right?"
"Oh! My mistake. I should probably introduce myself. Everybody calls me Kyonko as I'm sure you will, no matter what my real name is," She said, sarcastically. "If you're wondering what happened with the boy-me, he switched places with me for the week."
"I see. So he's with the gender-bent SOS Brigade, right?" The ribboned girl asked.
"No. He's with a group of travelers, who are going to some place called Gensokyo,or something like that. Apparently, Kyon has to speak with his real mother or something."
"Isn't Sakura his real mother?"
"Apparently, his birth parents just left him on a random doorstep."
"What? Where are they? I'll tear they're heads off for doing that to a defenseless baby!"
"You definitely sound like Haruki, that's for sure."
"Oh, I'd better introduce myself, too! I don't want to be known by some other name, even if it belongs to the me in a different world! I'm Haruhi Suzumiya!
"And I am Balsa Yonsa. I'm a wandering bodyguard, sent here to help out with things before they get too chaotic," The Spear-wielder introduced herself.
"Where's Koizumi, Asahina, or Nagato?" The pony-tailed girl asked, unaware of the current situation.
"Those bastards kidnapped Itsuki, and Mikuru! But don't worry, I'll save them!" Said Haruhi.
"Who are these bastards anyway?" Asked Kyonko.
"I doubt they exist in your world. There's this really wimpy-looking guy with long black hair and purple eyes. His name is Lelouch, and he turned traitor against us!"
"I see. What about Nagato?"
"Yuki's at home right now, recovering from her kidnapping."
"Yuki, huh... Geez, are you guys the Mokuba Brigade or something?"
"Well, my dad does sometimes cosplay as Ghost Nappa, so I wouldn't be surprised."
"Sounds like you have a fun time. Is there a place I can stay for the week?" Kyonko asked, still confused about exactly what it is she's supposed to do.
"I'm staying at Kyon's place, because my dad blew up the house again." Haruhi stated a matter-of-factly as she saw the pony-tailed girl blush a little.
"W-Wait. You were at my... I mean his..." Kyonko stuttered a little, before she was interrupted.
"It's not like that, I swear!" The yellow-ribboned girl shouted, blushing.
"You seem quick to deny it, Chief." Balsa remarked, smirking as she elbowed the shorter girl. "You know, I heard from a few of my sources about that one time, where you and him were locked in his bedroom. Heh heh heh~."
"We only cuddled to share warmth!" Haruhi shouted directly into Balsa's ear, possibly giving the bodyguard permanent hearing damage. The spear-wielder fell on her back, caught off-guard by the shout. Meanwhile, Kyonko was blushing up a storm, imagining a situation where Haruki demanded that they snuggle to share warmth. She was scared, yet slightly turned on at the same time.
"H-How about I make some tea?" Kyonko offered.
BACK IN GENSOKYO...
"BUHWAHAHAHAHAHA! BEHOLD, MORTAL KNAVES, AS CIRNO'S PERFECT MATH CLASS IS ABOUT TO BEGIN!" Shouted a small girl, slightly younger than Takeba, and had icicle-like wings. A blue ribbon sat upon her light blue hair, as she paced up and down an impromptu classroom. It was a strange occurrence, indeed. How did it even begin in the first place? Well, Kyon and Takeba were fleeing to the Hakurei shrine, before being intercepted by some sort of bird-like girl. The girl grabbed onto Takeba and flew off like a falcon on a sugar-rush. Kyon pursued the avian, only to be led into a different area in the forest. The bird-like girl finally landed, dropping Takeba onto a desk of some sort that was close to the ground. Before Kyon could react, the other 'students' at the desks yelled at him to sit down. Kyon decided to play along for the time being, to see exactly why all these women were gathered.
About five minutes later, the light-blue haired girl came from the trees and made her statement. Kyon decided to raise his hand, in an attempt to find out exactly what in god's name was going on. Bad idea.
"WHAT IS IT... HOLY SHIT, A MALE!" The girl shouted, in a voice that sounded akin to a certain 4kid's voice actor.
"Miss? I'd really like to know what's going on here, and why one of your students kidnapped my guide." Kyon asked.
"SHUT UP!" The ice-fairy replied, sounding eerily similar to a certain red echidna.
"Look, all I want to know is why the hell is there a classroom in the middle of a forest?"
"I AM THE STRONGEST IN ALL OF GENSOKYO, DO NOT QUESTION MY LOGIC," Cirno shouted directly into Kyon's face. The cynic finally had enough and took the fairy by the shoulders. He then drove his head directly into hers, holding back somewhat. The ice fairy fell back as small birds flew around her head, indicating she was out of it.
"Whoa. I didn't even use that much force." Kyon remarked, as he rubbed the back of his head.
Cirno soon got up, slightly tearing up in the eyes. "THAT'S IT! YOU'RE GOING DOWN, MOTHERFUCKER." She took a card out of her blouse. "ICICLE SIGN... 'ICICLE FALL' (Easy)!" She declared. The frosty sprite spread out her arms, launching small icicle-shaped bullets from her sides. The bullets then advanced, after going a ways. The problem was that it had a fairly sizable blind-spot which Kyon saw in an instant. The brown-haired boy jumped from his desk and stood directly in front of the wannabe teacher.
"Huh? WHAT? NOOOOOO!" The ice fairy screamed as the martial artist found the easily noticeable blind spot.
"Now, what was it about me going down?" Kyon menacingly commented.
"I CANNOT BE DEFEATED HERE!" Then everybody heard a loud roar, not very far off. Cirno canceled her spell card, and looked on in terror. From the back of the 'classroom', a huge lion-like creature with a horn on its forehead came from the trees, and tried pouncing on her. Thinking quickly, she used the one good spell she had, turning everything above her, including the beast, into a ball of ice. Hearing a light chuckle, Cirno looked up and saw a figure standing where the lion pounced- a small girl, probably a child, with her green hair done in twin-tails. She wore a robe, red at the top and white at the bottom.
"You cannot escape wrong death..." The girl said as she took an defensive stance. Cirno threw the ball of ice at the girl. Instead of dodging, like she had predicted, the mystery girl instead threw a punch at the incoming ice-block. The wannabe school teacher looked on in horror as the ice ball shattered, freeing the lion-like creature. "Predictable as always," The green-headed girl coldly muttered.
"Grr... I AM THE STRONGEST IN ALL GENSOKYO! I WILL NOT LOSE HERE!" Cirno screamed as she took out a huge, two-handed sword out of nowhere, and charged at the small girl. She swung her blade and missed, fairly badly. The smaller girl retaliated in an odd way. She lightly, but quickly, hit several different parts of her opponents body, a slight tapping noise could be heard from it.
"HA! Is that the best you can do!"
"You are already dead.", The small girl stated, as she walked back to her lion companion. Moments later, the ice fairy was holding her hands to her ears, screaming her head off.
"GAH! MAKE IT STOP!"
"What did you do to her?" Kyon asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.
"I just said that previous line to be dramatic. I actually gave all of her vital organs a certain YouTube link. At this moment, all of her vitals are being RickRolled," The girl replied.
"I-I see. Sounds gruesome," Kyon stuttered out a little. He had learned from Syaoran, that martial arts like that are the most terrifying to go up against, and was fearing for his life.
"Don't worry." The girl perked up a smile, and started to speak, in a much warmer voice. "I'm not gonna hurt you. I just want to go home. My name's Luna. Yours?" She extended her hand.
"Everybody calls me Kyon. It might as well be my real name, since my 'real' one is so long." He took Luna's handshake, feeling much less frightened.
"I am called Regulus," The lion growled.
"Nice to meet you both," The cynical boy said.
"Hmm? You are not surprised by a lion talking?" Regulus asked.
"I know a couple of birds that talk. The green one is pretty cool, but I can't stand the armored one," Kyon remarked.
"I see. How is Bestiari these days?" The lion asked.
"Last time I saw him, he merged with two of his comrades." Kyon then saw something was off. "Huh? Where did Takeba go?" He looked around, and saw that all the other occupants of the 'class' had left. "Oh, shit, not again."
"Please watch your language around Luna. She may be a killing machine, but that does not mean she is not young." Regulus stated.
"Yeah, yeah. Can you track her down?" Kyon asked.
"I can' at the moment. She has left the boundaries of the forest. However, perhaps the shrine maiden can help us." Regulus said.
"I've been meaning to talk to her. Hopefully she can answer my question."
"May I ask what that may be? I have lived many years, and I may be able to help."
"I don't think you'd know. Besides, it's a personal matter, between me and my so-called 'real' father."
"I see. In that case, we must hurry to the Hakurei Shrine. Climb on my back. I can take you there much faster," Regulus offered.
"Alright," Kyon said as he mounted the lion's back. Luna followed suit, and was seated behind Kyon.
"Hold on. This will be a fairly bumpy trip."
-Anna no Issho Datta no Ni starts playing-
And that there does it for now. Hopefully, I can get the ball rolling again. I'm still open to requests, although I may include them in a strange way, and probably not that soon. Well, until the next installment...
(Tag Out)