Dear Diary,

It's about a week since I wrote you last, I apologize. I usually update you about every two or three days, but I kind of lost you. I found you under the bathroom sink! A lot has happened since then, too. We found out the old queen died. Before, when she "died," it was fake. This time, we attended an open coffin funeral. Only the royal court and shit were invited. I felt special, because I was invited too. Until I realized, I was part of the royal court. Yeah. Apparently, I have a job that has been done for me by Cosmo, and they just told me. I am supposed to make dresses, and clothes and shit. I don't know how to, but I got lessons. Let's just say that wasn't fun.

"And this is how you turn it on." Cosmo looked up from the sewing machine, to find me filing my nails. "Ansalong, goddammit!"

"What?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. You remind me so much of her, personality wise. And you look a lot like her."

"She is my first cousin, after all."

"Well, this is how you turn it on. The people wear mostly black, but some wear brighter colors. The wardrobe for the castle, is, of course, the spaceman uniforms that I believe you saw when you were beamed back here, correct?" I nodded. "Good! Now, they are made mostly of gold lamé, but we have other materials."

Needless to say, he will still be supervising me in the sewing room. Janet was wrong before, she has about five months more. It's been... Interesting. She eats like a pig. And she is so ditzy.

"Well what do you take them for?" Janet and I were sitting in my house, with me fixing breakfast.

"They're allergy pills."

"And?"

"Allergies." I wouldn't make fun of it at first. If that wasn't the second time she had asked me.

And when Janet finally met Cosmo and Nattie again, that didn't go so well.

"Well, Janet. Do you remember Cosmo and... What did you call him, Mac?" We were at Cosmo and Nattie's place, with Genta and Nellie too.

"Yeah. It's been a while."

"I think the last time you were fully conscious when we spoke is when you were a bitch, and Nation spiked your drink." He put his hand on Nattie's thigh.

"Oh, are you two... Like..." She twisted her fingers together.

"Yes we are. Are you, like, a prostitute!" She was mocking her tone. "Who got knocked up by her client!" Nattie was standing up now.

Cosmo whispered something in Nattie's ear, and she broke down crying on the couch.

Janet started talking, and Genta went to comfort Janet. "I feel a little unwelcome here, but I neve-"

"You are unwelcome here! Go!" Genta started patting Nattie's back, and Nattie put her head on Cosmo's shoulder. He smiled.

"Please, keep talking Janet. Nation has gone into... A depression."

"I never really realized how much Magenta and Nation looked alike. And if Columbia had normal hair, she would look like..." She looked over to Nellie.

"Nell Ansalong, I believe you only heard Nurse Ansalong." Janet nodded.

After the awkward conversations, everyone left except Genta and I.

"What were you crying about, Nattie?"

"I can't... I can't say it." She looked up at Genta.

"She can't have children."

"What?" I looked at her in shock.

"Well, brothers and sisters have a lower chance at getting pregnant than regular lovers do, and her having a misshapen uterus lowers it dramatically. She just... Can't have kids. She has to adopt, or have a surrogate."

"I - I want to have it look like Cosmo and I. I feel odd asking this... But... Could one of you have it?"

"I would." I spoke up without even thinking. I would do anything for these people. Except maybe Janet...

"Really? Collie doesn't seem like one to do something like this." I forgot that Cosmo was there. And he didn't call me Columbia. I guess being around Nattie opens him up. He is a rather... Awkward, spazzy man.

"Please. She loves us." Nattie looked up at him and smirked.

"Would you really do something like that?" Genta looked at me in disbelief, and I nodded.

"Really. I'm sure if the roles were reversed, she would do the same for me."

Long story short, I have a spawn of Cosmo and Nation inside me now. As soon as the doctor said I was pregnant, and Nattie knew because she comes to every appointment, I am suppose to report to their house at least once a day. Sometimes staying the night. She says it's her "duty" to fix food for me, get maternity clothes, even though I'm not even showing.

-Collie, who will be multiplied by two in about five months.

A/N I went baby crazy. And I put Magenta in here, cause she hadn't been in in a while. I think I'm going to bring her and the twins over to Nattie's soon. So that's going to be... Two from Genta, one from Janet, and one to Nattie. And you know what I realized, since I write what comes to mind, and not even think? That Columbia and Janet will have the babies at about the same time... Interesting... Commence evil laughter. Edit 7/31/12: If only I knew that I would continue writing everything spur of the moment, and beautiful comes from it. And a lot of hurt feelings. Another thing. To prove my pride to my Mum yesterday, I drank a quarter of a plastic cup worth of soy sauce, and didn't vomit, like she and my grandmother were saying. So, now comes to the question. Any Australian people reading? If so, what does Vegemite taste like? I've seen a whales vagina, and salty hell. I told my mother I could deal with salt, and that lead to the soy sauce. I mean, I'm going to eat it. I bought twenty-two dollars worth of that shit, I'm going to eat it if it kills me. I also bought a shirt with Magenta.