*drops this update and runs to the bottom* I'm so sorry it's late!
I don't own OUAT
Chapter 24. Healing
The rode to Virginia seemed to be longer than usual. They'd left from their hotel room early the following morning; way before the sun was up to set upon their journey. Sure they were going to a place they've been many times before. But this time there was a whole new motive for the three of them. The south had always held a sense of tranquil happiness, strength and a chance to recharge completely. A need they desperately wanted to be at the end of this tunnel of unwelcomed heartache.
A ray of sunlight shone through the passenger window of the yellow bug and a pale hand reached out to grab the tanned one of her wife. A small smile set across pink lips as bluish-green eyes chanced a glance towards the passenger seat. The familiar scent of the south in the air and it was only a little further until they reached their destination. Emma gave the hand in hers a little squeeze before speaking, "you ok?"
Regina turned towards her voice; a genuine small smile across her lips. Her certainty accented with a nod. "I'm ok." The two simple words held a deeper meaning beneath them. Because she is ok. She knew healing was just within her grasp and nothing would stand in her way any longer. There's nothing to stop the happiness to come. Brown eyes found their way to the sleeping boy in the back seat. His arms and legs curled underneath him for warmth. The large blue wind breaker jacket acting as a blanket. Regina felt her heat sink a little at the sight. Henry has endured just as much as they had. A small sigh escaped her lips, "you think he'll be ok too?"
Emma lifted her neck upward to peek at her son through the rear view mirror. She smiled as she watched him for a little longer. "I'm positive he'll be fine." Her eyes lowered themselves to the maternally worried ones of her wife. "Especially once grandma gets a few cookies in him."
The statement lived up to its intention and elicited a small smile on the brunettes face. "Her cookies do seem to always do the trick." The blonde nodded in agreement as Regina spoke again. "What does she put in them?"
A chuckle, "I have no idea. It must be some old southern ingredient." The two exchanged another small laugh, careful not to wake up their son. "You know, I'm sure she'll tell you if you ask. She doesn't exactly trust me with her recipes."
"Smart woman."
Emma playfully rolled her eyes as soft chuckles filled the car. A comfortable silence settled between them. One they haven't felt for a long time yet it was welcomed all the same. It wasn't much longer before the large white and green house came into view. That huge two acre of grass looking even greener then they could remember. The wooden swing still in its original place swaying gently with the soft breeze. Emma placed her car in park before turning towards the back, reaching between the small gap of the drivers and passenger seat to gently nudge her son. "We're here kid." Regina opened the door to her side and stepped out to let out their son.
Henry, completely road lagged from their early morning and very long commute, stirred a few moments before sleepily rubbing his eyes and opening them slowly. As he caught sight of his surroundings a large smile quickly spread across his face. "Nana's house!" He beamed before bolting out of the car and nearly knocking his brunette mother over as he ran full speed to the door.
"You think he's excited?" Regina turned to ask her wife in a tone covered with amused sarcasm as she watched their son run up to the door and ring the doorbell. She shook her head at his eagerness before turning to Emma. The small smile she had turning into a slight frown at the look on the blonde's face. "What is it?"
Emma, who hadn't even heard the question, was way too deep into her own thoughts to respond. She had completely stopped her action of removing their bags out the trunk, her deep thoughts stopping every motor skill other than breathing. It wasn't so much where they were. Georgia's home was Emma's place of happiness. A shed of light among the darkest times. The breath of fresh air after holding it for too long. A grateful release. So no it wasn't the fact they were here. It was when. It's the fact they are here now.
Once again the act of time has come to haunt her confidence. To coil around every fiber of her being and scream in the pit of her ear drum, you've missed out. Five years. It's been five years since she's seen Georgia, her grandmother, and in more ways than one, her savior. This woman has been there through everything and as much as it pained her to know her only granddaughter was in prison; she kept ways of contacting her. Though because of distance and her age she wasn't able to come up and see her. Emma knew if it came to it then Regina would have brought her. Although, if she was to really think about it, perhaps not. Not when all the miscommunication and misunderstandings had happened between them. Not when that demon disguised as a woman made it her very job to make her life miserable.
Emma's eyebrows furrowed deeply as her thoughts continued. Different stages of emotion crossing her face. Here it was she thought she was out of the clear and yet she's afraid to go into the house of the one person who has been there for her. Five years was able to change her wife, her son, and her friends. So how has it changed Georgia? The blonde knew she had changed in every sense of the word during her time there. But would she see her grandmother the same. Or vice versa. Would she see Emma the same? Or will the disappointment be written across her face? Of course she would never be rejected by Georgia, but all in still, it'll hurt just as much.
If those five years we're enough to weaken the steel cage that held the sanctity of their marriage; then certainly it was enough to harm the relationship between her and her grandmother.
A calm tanned hand was placed on Emma's shoulder, causing her to jump out of her revere. "What?" She nearly choked out.
The brunette's face twisted in worry as she watched her wife's eyes pace along the grass. A sign she knew from their years of marriage that meant something was wrong. "I asked what was bothering you." Her hand remained dormant against the blondes shoulder, brown eyes searching blue for an answer.
Without responding Emma looked up at the house. The screen door on the porch opened and revealed the elderly woman on the other side. Her face held a large smile as she took in Henry's appearance before engulfing him in a large hug. The silence was enough for Regina to come to understand Emma's hesitance and she warmly wrapped her arms around her wife; tipping up to kiss her lips. "It'll be ok. I promise." A smile followed her words.
A deep breathe escaped pink lips along with a nod. She looked down into her wife eyes, melting into the thoroughly missed warmth they held. A genuine small smile sailed across Emma's lips, "ok," she breathed before leaning down to capture Regina's lips in a tender kiss. And it was then that she remembered; how great it was not to be alone.
The couple turned towards the house and with tentative steps, Emma made it to the porch. She froze as she came face to face with her grandmother. It seemed forever as she waited. For backlash, a slap or even for the more devastating look of disappointment. But there was none. Only silence.
And if it wasn't for the arms that suddenly wrapped around her, Emma would have been sure time had stopped. When her brain finally caught up with what was happening, she wrapped her arms back around the older woman and sank into the hold. "I missed you."
The blonde could feel the warm smile coming off of Georgia as her hand stroked her curly flaxen hair. "I missed you too pudding."
Green eyes were casted to the ceiling as Emma lay atop her bed in the dark room. It had been a long reunion. Full of embraces, tears and Henry's asking of cookies. Even better than she had expected. It was nice to know that nothing had happened between Regina and her grandmother during her imprisonment that would hinder her relationship even further. Yet she still lay restless. The blonde looked over to her side and focused on the sleeping form of her wife. The digital clock on the nightstand behind her provided the only light in the room, allowing her to see Regina's face. She placed a delicate kiss to plump lips, careful not to wake her before slipping out of bed and heading towards the kitchen.
It came as a surprise to find the lights already on and Georgia pulling out a tray of freshly baked blueberry muffins from the oven. Without even looking towards the doorway, the elderly woman placed the hot pan onto the stove to cool before speaking. "I knew you'd come down here sooner or later. Thought I'd get a head start." She chuckled to herself as she moved to grab a box of tea from the top cupboard. A tea pot that was previously filled with boiled water was placed on the small kitchen table. Along with two tea cups and a small container holding the cubes of sugar.
Emma looked over the pre-set table and the unspoken invitation then made her way towards the small table to take a seat. "How'd you know I'd come down here?" She asked almost hesitantly. Was it that obvious? That after everything that's happened, after everything that has passed; she still wasn't able to completely let go. To move forward. It was what Emma wanted. And the first step in overcoming anything isn't to admit. It's to want. She has to want to be happy and have realistic expectations of what that happiness is. What it looks like. What it sounds like. But most importantly, what is feels like. To feel the warmth again that coated her every breath. The time when the sun shined bright on a rainy day. There were no such things as cloud in her life because, her family, her friends; they were the silver lining. Never once had Emma ever denied that clouds were close by before her life changed, but the difference was; they never had time to form the way they did now.
Rusty. She was rusty in the art of self-assurance. Her focus detained. Hidden by the clouds of despair and loneliness. A combination unsuitable for even those who held the strongest of psychiatric abilities. But it was now that the rain has stop and the clouds started to part. And Emma's sun began to rise, in the form of a wife, a son and a saint that's been there her entire life. Her sun will forever shine, because from now on, she had more than one hand to fight the clouds.
Red house slippers shuffled across the floor as Georgia made her way to the table; placing a tea bag in each cup and picking up the tea pot to evenly pour water in each. "Well now, who's to say I still don't know my grandbaby after these short years." A warm smile embedded her face as she slid the cup over to Emma. Her intuition proving itself again. A humble boast.
Emma nodded slightly while taking the offered tea and putting three cubes of sugar into it. Pink lips curled into a smile at the realization of how…normal, things seemed to be between them. It was the only thing that has come easy after everything that's happened over the past few months. The gratitude that followed from just one thing going the way she wanted was enough to light a clear path to her centered being. An opening for healing.
Pale hands wrapped around the tea cup as Emma sipped the tea. The warm liquid allotting a familiar sense of home. One she's missed very much. A comfortable silence settled between them. Emma, who felt like the little eight year old girl she used to be, wrapped her legs around the ends of the chair and continued to drink her tea. Georgia on the other hand had gotten up to tend to the muffins, cutting one in half on a saucer and handing Emma the larger piece. Familiarity bestowing itself again; followed by growing gratitude.
However.
The muffin meant more this time. Yes, it was like old times but this one was a little heavier. When the small pastries were set upon the plate, conversation usually followed. And Emma knew just where it was going.
But before the blonde could utter a word or take a bite of her muffin, the older woman spoke first. And the words that floated from her mouth next, were enough to tip the heavy scale of burden. Right. Off. Her shoulders.
"I'm glad you're alright."
The words were simple but held so much more. Forgiveness. An open invitation to be peaceful in a heart held open only for Emma. One, that even after all these years, had never closed in the first place. To feel free to run into her arms and stay there. Take a moment. Breathe again. To finally let down the mask of hardship and see the gold paved road to her happiness. And it was with those four simple words, that Emma began to cry. And let go.
With practiced maternal skill Georgia made her way from her seat at the table and wrapped her arms around Emma. "It's alright. You can let go now. It's over." Warm hands soothed over the blonde's back as she continued to cry. Throughout her years of raising Emma she always knew when her emotions were bound. When to give that extra nudge and coax her towards a soul cleansing release. It was written all over her granddaughters face the moment she had arrived. It took everything she had not to break down for her then. She could see it. Everything. All the strength the Emma had conjured from deep within herself to contain the illusion of being put together enough for her family. The life raft amongst the sea of turmoil.
Her own rendition of familial glue.
Emma has been shouldering this entire ordeal since day one. Carrying the bags of her wife, her son and everyone else who cared for her because that's who she was. A woman who would give her last breath if it meant saving someone else. A woman who loved harder than anyone Georgia has seen in her long years of life. But even the strongest of hero's needed time to heal. Bandage their wounds. And although Regina has come to aid in Emma's well-being; it was hard for the blonde to fully show all her wounds. Afraid to look feeble in the eyes of the one she was being strong for.
However, it was until now that Emma realized; without weakness…there is no strength.
And so Emma cried throughout the night, in the arms of her own personal savior. Judgment free and love filled flesh surrounding her. Each tear that fell lifted just that much weight off her soul. Letting go of everything that was holding her down.
The heavenly smell of cookies wafted in the air from the kitchen. An excited and pleasantly full Henry sat on the counter closest to the sink as he waited for the cookies to cool. It was only about an hour after breakfast when he and his Nana decided to make some cookies just for fun. At least on Georgia's part. Henry on the other hand couldn't wait to devour them. In his 10 year old mind there was absolutely nothing in the world like Nana's cookies. His blue pajama shorts clad legs swung against the bottom cabinets, lightly hitting his heels against it. Most of his focus on the wooden spoon that had left over chocolate on it from the homemade drizzle they made to top the treats with.
Hazel eyes casted over to the Georgia, who was currently washing the dishes and humming an old tune to herself. A pleasant smile on her face. Brighter than usual after last night's events. Emma had nearly floated to bed that night and she knew she had done what was needed.
"Hey Nana?" Henry asked. His voice pulling the older woman from her thoughts.
"Hmm?" She responded in a light tone, her eyes never leaving the dishes.
"How long until the cookies are cool enough for us to put the drizzle on them?"
Georgia turned her head slightly to the small clock on the wall as she tried to remember the exact time they actually removed the desserts from the oven. "Oh I say in about, 10 minutes."
"10 minutes!?" He asked nearly exasperated. Certainly ten whole minutes was enough for him to starve to death.
A chuckle escaped her lips, "well now wait a minute. Didn't your mama drive for hours on end just to get here?"
"Yeah. So?"
"Then 10 minutes won't kill ya now will it?
"Yes, I need your cookies."
"You need them?" A soft gray brow lifted itself. Amusement written across her face.
A nod. "Mom doesn't make them like you do."
"Oh no. well I'm sure she tries. Bless her heart." Her smile brightened hearing Henry giggle in affirmation. "I'm sure if she had the secret ingredient she could make them just as good."
The small boys eyebrows furrowed in thought, "What is the secret ingredient?"
"If I told you then it ain't a secret no more now is it?
"What's not a secret?" Regina asked as she rounded toward the kitchen. A smile on her face when her nose caught scent of the cookies. "it smells good in here. As always." Georgia gave a proud nod. There were no words needed. She was a Swan and when a swan knows they're good at something. They stick to it for life. Regina's eyes turned towards Henry, "and here you are eating all of that chocolate off the spoon. You just had breakfast."
"Oh leave that boy alone it ain't gonna kill him," the older woman intervened while drying her last dish and wiping her hands on the dish cloth. "He's just excited about his Nana's cookies." She tapped Henry's nose for emphasis. Smiling bright when he wrinkled his nose in response. The two sharing a giggle.
Regina shook her head before raising her hands in mock surrender. This was the land of the grandma. She held little to none parental guidance here. So instead she made a mental note to add extra vegetables to Henry's plate tonight. "Alright then, I'll be outside on the porch if anyone needs me. And you two can continue your secret conversation." She laughed softly as she started to turn towards the direction of the front door. Taking note of how easy her laugh had come back.
Before she could even take a full step Henry had excitedly spoke up, "we're talking about her secret ingredient." Immediately upon the words leaving his lips, his hands shot up to cover his face. "Oops," he mumbled through his hands.
Georgia then placed a hand on her hip as the other rested against the kitchen table. "You see, there it is right there. That's why I didn't tell you because you got a big ol' blabber mouth."
The small boy giggled uncontrollably at his Nana's words as Regina raised both eyebrows. "You told him what it was?" She had been trying to figure it out ever since she tried Georgia's cookies for the first time. Every try at duplication had failed. All of them. Therefore the excitement she held now was well deserved. If even a little farfetched.
"No," the older woman answered, "y'all just as nosey." She shook her head once, a soft smile on her face. "Ain't you 'posed to be going outside for some air?" she said, her tone teasing in jest as she turned to Henry, "now you come help me drizzle these cookies and we'll discuss whether I should tell your mom the recipe."
Henry nodded beamed and nodded quickly.
"But get a new spoon first;" Georgia added after a beat, "I don't want your cooties all over them." She made a face of mock discuss before bringing the cooled tray of cookies to the table.
Without a second thought Henry jumped down from his place on the counter throwing the wooden spoon he had in the sink before grabbing a new one and nearly running over to the table to help.
Regina laughed at the sight with a shake of her head as she heading towards the front of the house. Carefully she opened the old squeaky screen door and stepped outside before easing it closed, not wanting to be reprimanded about it slamming. A smile sailed across her face upon catching a whiff of the crisp southern air.
She took a deep breath. Inhaling the fresh clean air deep into her lungs and exhaling slowly. The scent reminding her of the very first time she came down here with Emma. Absentmindedly her feet carried her to the slowly swaying porch swing just a few steps away. Gently she sat down on it, picking up the square pillow with the embedded blue jay across the front. The same exact one she's seen every time they've visited. Subconsciously her fingers came up to rub the tip of the corner fabric between her thumb and index finger. Her feet firmly planted on the ground. She bent her knees slightly to give a gentle swing, swaying forward and back as she thought.
The air possessed a calmer and open state. Her mind wandering to the many things that she and Emma had gone through. From the first time they met, their dates, the wedding, Henry. And all the things in-between. Together they have come over every bump in the road. Hand and hand; jumping over it with the faith of each other. However those bumps seemed to be nothing more than a stump compared to mountain they've had to climb alone. It was a long one. Bigger and more difficult than either of them had ever been through. They may have slipped, fallen down a few feet and even thought of giving up. And yet, here there were at the top. Standing together and easing each other down the other side. Back to steady ground.
And it was nice, to be whole again.
It wasn't long before the screen door opened again and Emma's head popped out. Although she was a bit groggy after sleeping through breakfast and her eyes had gotten puffy from the all the tears last night; Emma looked better than she had in a long time. It wasn't the physical aspect. But the energy that she gave off. It was cleaner. Purer. Happier. And it radiated brightly.
The blonde's bluish-green eyes focused on her wife who was still deep in thought. The kneading of the corner fabric of the pillow and the furrowed eyebrows gave Regina away completely. A subconscious habit the brunette held that Emma had learned over the years. She smiled a bit before softly speaking, careful not to startle her thinking wife. "Hey…" She nearly whispered before stepping out fully.
Slowly, Regina's face rose from its slightly downward position; eliciting a warm smile upon seeing the person requesting her attention. "Hey…you're awake." She said more for the purpose of conversation rather than clarification. Regina knew Emma had been crying last night. The small sniffles the blonde released as she slipped into bed nearly three this morning told her all she needed to know. And out of courtesy for her wife's bruised and mending self-esteem, she pretended to be asleep. Her own way of making sure Emma wouldn't be embarrassed. Gently inching herself closer to give support.
Emma nodded as she ran a hand through her still mangled curls, "yeah. I am." The hand came down from her hair before sliding into the pockets of her basketball shorts. "Well, I have been for a while."
Regina's eyebrows rose as she waited for Emma to continue.
The birds chirped around them along with the gentle cool breeze. Emma's attention shifting to the large acres of grass in the front yard. "I've been thinking. About a few things." Green eyes settled on the lake not too far ahead. "You want to go for a walk?" she asked, her voice still a bit raspy from a mix of the tears and a long sleep.
"Of course," the response was light. Easy. Tanned hands grabbed the pillow to put it back in its proper place before standing fully to be by Emma's side. A place she never wanted to leave again.
Leisurely the couple began to walk, a pale hand slipping from Emma's pocket to wrap around Regina's shoulders. The brunette bringing her own arm to rest along the small of the blondes back. Walking together with practiced skill of a couple in love. A surprise to neither of them how far they've come in the months since Emma's been released. The domesticities, flirtation, love and even trust had made its way back into their marriage. Into each other.
A comfortable silence settled between them as they walked. The lake coming closer with each slow step. With a few more chirps of the birds and far away sounds of insects, Emma spoke first. "I'm sorry-"
"Emma you don't-"
'no, listen," she interjected. "I know we're past most the other things. But I never apologized for keeping that secret from you. I should have told you about her." Their steps stopped as they reached the lake. The two simultaneously sat down on the soft grass beneath them; sitting indian style. Emma's eyes looking out at the body of water in front of them. "I should have listened to you, from the beginning."
There was a small silence. One of understanding. The atmosphere still light around them. A tanned hand came up to rest on Emma's knee. Regina's face framing a warm smile. "It's ok." she spoke in a genuine tone. The blonde's eyes moved to find those of her wife. "I know why you didn't. You were trying to protect me, like you always are. And I've always appreciated it. Regardless of what happened." Her free hand rose to cup her wife's cheek. "We had no idea any of this was going to happen. So stop blaming yourself. I caused just as much damage. If not more."
Emma tilted her head as she leaned more into her wife's touch. Regina was right. There was nothing to do now. The only thing left was to move forward. She shook her head as she focused on the tanned woman beside her. "So we were equal idiots then?" A smirk played across her lips.
Regina rolled her eyes before sighing and nodding her head. "We were."
Emma's hand crawled its way towards Regina's. Her pinky reaching forward to wrap onto the brunettes before interlacing their fingers. "So is it safe to say we can officially start over now?"
The wind blew softly between them. Regina's hair swaying as she thought. "I've forgiven you Emma." Brown eyes searched into blue ones. Her teeth gently worrying her bottom lip. "I can say I honestly have. Everything is behind us now. But, can you say you've forgiven me? For everything?"
Another pause settled between them. Emma searched deep for the answer. She had to be sure. It's harder to step forward with the weight of your past bounded to each ankle. But this time, she felt as light as a feather. Gently, as if Regina would shatter from too much pressure; Emma leaned forward to bring them together in a soft kiss. Pale hands reached up to cup her wife's face before gingerly pulling back. Her blue eyes staring into brown ones. "Yes, I forgive you. Completely and entirely. I just want to go back to love."
A warm bright smile slid along Regina's face, "it never left." She whispered before closing the small distance between them again. More tender and full of promise. Their lips moved together in harmony. This was it. This was their new beginning. A promise sealed with a kiss. The only stamp of approval for them was love. One so strong that even in the darkest of times, when only a sliver remained; their love pulled forward.
Softly their lips parted. Emma and Regina wearing matching smiles of gratitude and new found hope for their future. Together.
The blonde gently raked her hand through her wife's hair; tucking a few strands behind her ear. "There is one other thing."
Regina, whose eyes were just starting to open again, looked up into jade ones, "what is it?"
"I don't want to go home."
"What do you mean?"
A sigh escaped pink lips as she tried to continue, "I mean... I want that as part of our new beginning. That town. That house." A pause. "I don't think I can be there anymore. We've outgrown it all. I think it's time we've found something new. We need it."
Regina's eyes seemed to open fully at the request. Taken in just exactly what it all meant. Leaving everything. Starting completely over. New job, new town. A completely new life. Perhaps a few years ago, maybe even a few months ago; this would have sounded crazy. But now, after everything that's happened; it sounded like just what they needed.
Her silence must have gone on for a while. The brunette could feel the nervousness rising off Emma, along with the slight twitch of her fingers. So before the blonde could move Regina spoke up, "ok." it came out a whisper before saying it again. "ok." this time louder. More to herself then anything. "I'll step down as mayor and we'll move."
"Seriously?" the blonde was beaming from excitement.
A nod. "Yes, I think it's what we need." She furrowed her brow as she thought a moment. "But where will we stay?"
"Here," Emma answered almost too quickly for her own excitement. "We'll stay here until we get ourselves together. And start over."
"What about Henry? He has friends there."
"You're right. But I don't think he left with too good of a taste from there either. It's a new start. For everyone."
Regina nodded in agreement, "are we really going to do this?"
Emma smiled brighter than she has in very long time, "only if I have you by my side to do it with me."
"You'll always have me by your side," the brunette lifted her hand to her wife's face before wrapping both arms around the blonde's neck and hugging her tight. "I love you, so much."
Pale arms wrapped protectively around the body of the woman she loved with all her soul, "I love you too. More than anything." Tentatively, Emma pulled back just enough to come face to face with her soul mate. The only person who has the ability to knock her down and build her up all in one. Together, their lips met in a kiss that spoke more than the words in any book. It was now, in the passion filled kissed they shared, where they realized they were wrong. Their marriage was strong enough to pull forward. Time had not destroyed everything. And love, had never run out.
I am so sorry for this ridiculously late update. I have had some major writers block. But I gained some and I made myself sit and write this. We are at the end and the next chapter will be the final epilogue. I hope you've enjoyed so far