Spinning Bottles

~Chapter 25 – Echoes~

It all happened so fast; there wasn't even a thought to move, my body just reacted. We both jumped at the same time…luckily, I was faster. I grabbed a hold of her, and on pure adrenaline, I pulled her back over the rail.

"No! Let me go!" she screamed out full of pain and agony as I had her in a bear hold on the ground.

"I'm never going to let you go, Baby," I whispered as she kept crying and flailing about to get out of my grasp.

"Please," she cried completely broken, and then she stopped fighting and just let me hold her as she sobbed.

"It's ok, everything will be ok," I murmured while trying to soothe her, but even as I said the words, I didn't know if I believed them. What could be so horrible that she would want to kill herself because of? "It's going to be ok," I repeated.

As long as she was in my arms, she was safe….

…

The minutes ticked on, but I had no idea how many. Was it even minutes, or hours? I could have been holding her on the side of the bend for days, and I wouldn't have even noticed. My life had almost ended; if I didn't go there that night, if I had been even five minutes later, everything would have been lost.

Would I have even known? She could have thrown herself off the cliff and never seen from again, and I could have gone on with my life blindly thinking she was living in Italy, believing we still had a chance someday somehow. People disappeared in that area all the time. Whispers of man eating creatures circulated amongst the local native tribes, but really, the area was just so untouched that nature just consumed the fallen until there was nothing left.

Surely, eventually, someone would have reported her missing. She didn't have any family to speak of left, but surely her friends, people at work, someone had to care that she just disappeared….But then I thought about her bitchy skank friends, and I realized that she probably didn't have anyone real in her life that truly cared; no one to go to with whatever problem she had to have. God, she must have been lonely; at least when I was a dick before, I still had Jackson to care enough to call me out on my shit.

I realized then that it didn't matter what happened between us romantically or what caused her to want to jump, all that mattered was figuring out a way to convince her that I cared about her, truly cared, and it was unconditional. She needed to know that she could tell me anything and it wouldn't change my support for her. It was time to undo my sins of the past, or at the very least, makeup for all the pain I caused. That was my new goal, getting her to believe in people again, to reinvent her faith in me.

As the unknown minutes moved quickly and slowly at the same time, I noticed that she was completely passed out in my arms, but even though she was asleep, her body was still tight with her self-destructive pain; the same pain that was echoed throughout my entire body both emotionally and physically. I hurt for her, and because if her, and it was getting harder and harder to think at that moment. The adrenalin I felt before from pulling her back was long dissipated, and I was left feeling like my limbs were made of heavy noodles. So I searched within myself and mustered every last bit of energy I could find, and I picked her up and carried her to my car.

I wasn't sure what hotel she was staying in, but it didn't matter anyway; there was no way I'd leave her alone, not after everything that happened. But then I was stuck in a dilemma; Alec was home, and if he was still up then he'd certainly see me carrying Bella to my old room. I considered taking her to the cottage, but there was no furniture there and the heating and electricity wasn't turned on yet. And then I pulled up in front of my father's house, and saw the window to Alec's room illuminated in the darkness. He was awake, so there was no way to keep him in the dark about everything. We were family, so he'd just have to understand.

I got out of the car and then ran around to the other side in order to carefully lift Bella out of her seat. I carried her bridal style, and even though she didn't wake, she curled into me like an infant searching for some kind of warmth.

I shifted her weight so I could reach out and open the door, and when I got it open, I brought her right up the stairs. Alec must have heard me come in, so he peaked out of his room, but thankfully didn't say anything. He just looked wide eyed as I brought Bella into my old room, and kicked the door shut behind me.

"Everything's going to be ok," I whispered to Bella's still sleeping form as I laid her on my bed. I covered her with the quilt my mother had made, and then kissed her forehead. "You'll see, everything is going to be ok."

I wanted to lay with her, but I had a few things I needed to take care of first, so I slowly backed out towards the door, carefully opened it, and then quietly shut her in.

"What's wrong with Bella?" Alec asked in a quiet concerned rush.

"Shh," I hushed him, and then pulled his arm back down the stairs.

"What's going on?" he asked again when we were safely out of Bella's possible hearing range.

"Everything's going to be fine," I repeated to him. It was all I was really capable of saying at the moment, because I was so confused as to what actually happened. Obviously she tried to…. I couldn't even think the words, it was too difficult, and I most certainly couldn't say them out loud, not even to Alec.

But then I thought about something, and took off running back up the stairs. I vaguely heard the sound of Alec's footsteps behind me, but I couldn't stop to explain, at least not yet.

I crept back into my old room, and grabbed the bottle of painkillers off my nightstand, and then went out and continued around the house collecting all medications, hazardous cleaners, and last but just as important, the kitchen knives. Alec followed, but didn't say anything until I brought all the stuff outside to lock away in the car.

"Edward, what's going on…even though I'm pretty sure I have it figured out by now," Alec asked. I tried to think of the right thing to tell him, but I was coming up blank. "Did she really try to kill herself?" he asked suddenly. I looked at him confused, and wondered how exactly he figured it out. He must have understood my look, so he sighed. "It wasn't hard to figure out. You carried her in here, and then started taking out everything someone could use to off themselves with….God, what could have happened to her to make her want to do something like that?"

"Alec, you can't say anything about this to anyone, do you understand?" I managed to choke out after I finally remembered how to speak properly.

"Why did you bring her here? This is wrong, you should take her to the hospital," he asked.

"No!" I accidentally shouted. "She doesn't need a bunch of strangers trying to get into her head, she needs to be with people who care about her right now."

"She needs a doctor," he argued. "Edward, I know what I'm talking about, my mom tried killing herself a few times too, and she always went to the doctor after."

I stared at him in shock for a few moments. Fuck. I had no idea he was subjected to a suicidal mother before she finally died, and I realized that seeing Bella in that state must have been incredibly difficult for him. But what else could I do?

"I'm so sorry, Alec," I told him intensely. "I had no idea you had to go through all of that."

He shrugged. "I'm fine, but I know what I'm talking about."

"I know you do, and I trust you completely, but different people need different things. Your mom needed more help than anyone could give her, and in most cases, you're right, a doctor is important, but I can't take Bella to the hospital. The last thing she needs right now is for this to get out."

"What do you mean?"

I sighed. "This is a small town, if someone sees her at the hospital, word will spread and it will get back to the people at her work, and it could be very bad for her career. She's pretty well known in the fashion circuit, and something like this could ruin her. "

"Well, then we should definitely tell people. If she gets fired, then maybe she'll stay with us."

I shook my head. "We can't force her out of her life. Obviously things aren't going so well for her right now, but that doesn't mean we can make those decisions for her. She has to want to make a change, otherwise she'll never really get better," I explained in the best way I could think of.

He narrowed his eyes at me suspiciously. "Are you sure you just don't want her to lose her high paying job for selfish reasons?"

I scowled at him. "There is nothing I want more than for her to find a job that truly makes her happy, whether it be worth millions or nonprofit. All I care about is her getting better, but we can't force it."

He nodded. "Ok, I believe you. So what's the plan?"

"We just need to be there for her so she knows she's not alone, and help her in any way we can."

"Like a family?"

"Exactly. She hasn't had a family since her dad died, and I really believe that's exactly what she needs right now. So do you think you can help me with that?"

He nodded again. "Yeah, of course….but I still think she needs a doctor."

"Ok, well, when she's feeling better, we'll get someone to come to the house. Hopefully get her into some kind of therapy."

"Until then, helping her is up to us?" he asked, though it wasn't really a question.

"Like a family," I reiterated. "Now, I'm completely burned out so I'm going to go to bed. Are you ok?" I asked him.

"Yeah, don't worry about me. I'm going to head to bed too," he told me.

"Good. I'll see you in the morning." Shit, the morning!

"What's wrong?" he asked, seeing the look on my face.

"I forgot that the inspector is coming early. I'll need to call him and reschedule."

"No, don't worry about it. I'll take care of everything," Alec assured me.

"Really?" I asked surprised, and quite frankly, impressed.

"Definitely."

"Thanks," I said sincerely, and then went upstairs to my room.

Once again, I opened the door slowly, and went in before shutting the door behind me. Bella was still asleep on my bed, so I just watched her for a few minutes, and wished I knew what she was thinking. I didn't know her the way that I used to, and it killed me to know that there was no one to blame for that except myself.

I slowly climbed into bed with her and just wrapped her in my arms, and breathed in her scent until it forced me into unconsciousness.

….

I woke up with the sun, and was thankful that neither Bella nor I had moved in the night. My arms were still around her, my legs were tangled with hers, and she was still asleep. I casually glanced at the clock and was completely shocked that it was eleven am. I shook my head, thinking I was seeing the numbers wrong, but the time didn't change…at least not until the minute passed and it became eleven O one.

But I still didn't move.

I needed to be there for Bella when she woke up, so I just stayed there, wrapped around her, and held her for the next hour while rememorizing her face. I already knew her by heart, but being so close to her, I realized that her face was slightly different than hers was in the other world. There were no subtle laugh lines. In fact, she had no lines in her face at all, and I scowled thinking that she had probably used Botox…or perhaps she just never went out in the sun. At thirty years old I didn't expect her to be a wrinkled old lady, but surely some kind of sign that she actually moved her face. But I shook the thought away; there was no point in obsessing about something I didn't know at the moment.

Finally, she began stirring, and despite knowing she was alive, I breathed a slight breath of relief knowing she was ok…physically anyway.

She peeked out from under her lashes, and then she squeezed her eyes back shut.

I wanted to talk to her, I wanted to caress her face and tell her that everything was going to be ok again, but instead I decided to just give her some more time. I needed to find a way to prove to her that I would always be there, without suffocating her completely. Everything I had tried before in New York was wrong, I needed to think of something different. But instead of planning ahead, this time I needed to just play it by heart.

I kept my arm draped over her, but otherwise didn't move. I just waited. I would not bombard her with questions or make her feel like I was attacking her with accusations. I could imagine a million different reasons why she did what she did, but until she was ready to divulge that information herself, there was no point in trying to drag it out of her.

But she needed to know my truth, so I would only tell her once.

"Bella," I whispered, knowing she could hear me. "I love you, and there's nothing you could do that would change that. I'm here, whenever you feel like talking, and if you don't ever feel like it, then I'll still be here. I swear, I will never fail you again."

She didn't respond, but I didn't expect her to either. We laid like that a little bit longer, and then she suddenly squirmed out from under me, and walked shakily out of the room towards the bathroom. I got up as well, and just waited for her to finish. I heard the toilet flush, and then she came out looking nothing like the girl I knew. She was a mess, her hair and clothes were dirty, and her face was blank as she looked at me hollowly.

"Can I take a shower?" she asked evenly.

"Yeah, of course," I said, then flashed towards the dresser to get her a pair of my old sweats to change into. "Here."

"Thanks," she mumbled before grabbing them from me, and disappearing back into the bathroom and locking me out.

I sighed, but when I heard the shower turn on, I decided to take a couple minutes to check on Alec. I went downstairs and found him sitting at the table and eating a bowl of cereal. The kid was always eating, and I absently wondered if I was that hungry as a teen.

"Hey, how's Bella?" he asked concerned.

"She's…I don't know how she is actually. I just needed to come down and check on you. Is everything ok?"

"Yeah, all taken care of," he said strangely.

"What?" I asked confused.

"Emmett was here, and we walked through the cottage with the inspector. Everything was good, so congratulations, the guy said it passed. Here's the paperwork," he said while pointing at the stack of papers on the table.

"Wow, Alec," I said impressed. "Thank you for handling that for me."

"No problem," he said with a proud smile, and then went back to eating.

"I bet you're hungry for something other than cereal, aren't you," I said, realizing that I hadn't been shopping.

"Oh, I went to the store this morning and bought some stuff, but I just like cereal."

"You went to the store?" I asked in proud disbelief.

"Yeah, I figured Bella was going to be here with us for awhile, so I thought we needed some better food."

"Thanks," I said again. The kid had come so far in such a short amount of time, and I was beyond impressed.

"Does she like omelets? Cause I can make really good ones?" he asked.

"Um yeah…well, she used to anyway. Hey Alec,"

"Yeah?"

"Just don't ask her anything about last night, ok? If she wants to talk about it, then she will, but I don't want to force her."

"Got it," he said with a supportive smile.

"Alec, I really do appreciate all of this," I said sincerely.

"I know, but that's what families are for. We are a family, right? I mean you and me, that is. Whether or not Bella decides to stay with us, we're still a family, right?"

I nodded. "Definitely. And that's never going to change." I reached over and hugged him tightly. "You can count on me, Alec. I'll always be here for you, no matter what," I told him with conviction.

I felt him nod. "Oh, hey Bella," he said casually as he pulled away from me. I turned around and saw Bella standing on the stairs watching us. "Are you hungry, I make really good omelets?" he asked her.

"Really…that would be great," she said with a forced smile.

"Ok, I'll get started," he said excitedly, and then turned towards the fridge and started getting everything out.

Bella stood there and stared at me for a minute, and even though her face was riddled with her silent pain, she looked absolutely beautiful. Her wet hair was pulled back into a low ponytail and my sweats hung off her body but left her looking so young and innocent in a way. "Hey," she said uncomfortably.

"Feeling better?" I asked. "I mean, after the shower, and all," I added quickly.

She nodded. "Yes, thank you," she murmured. Then she took a deep breath, and walked around me towards the kitchen. "It's such a trip being back in this house," she said to me casually over her shoulder.

"Yeah," I agreed while looking around.

"I hate this house," Alec called over the sound of the bacon sizzling. "No offense," he turned and said to me.

"No, I feel the same way," I assured him.

"So, I say we start moving all of our crap as soon as possible."

"You're moving?" Bella asked with panic laced in her words.

"Well, eventually," I told her. "But the cottage is done now, so we were going to take the stuff we want from the here and bring it over to there, and then put the rest into storage."

"Oh," she said surprised. "Well, I can help you guys move your things, if you want," she offered.

Alec and I exchanged looks of confusion. Bella was pretending the night before didn't happen, but I supposed that was ok. I swore to myself that I wouldn't make her talk, so I was going to follow her lead and act as casual as possible.

"We can start today," Alec said carefully.

"Sounds good," Bella replied, and then she walked over to Alec to watch him cook. "Wow, you really do know what you're doing."

"Yeah, eggs are the only thing my mom always had in the house, so I learned how to cook them."

"At six?" Bella asked incredulously.

Alec shrugged. "I only burned myself a couple of times before I figured it out."

"God, that's…." she let her sentence trail off, and then she changed direction. "I'm glad you and Edward have each other now. We all know he certainly can't cook," she tried teasing.

"Hey, I resent that," I joked. "I cook…things."

"Boxed Mac and Cheese and frozen pizzas don't count," Bella argued playfully.

I thought about it, and then conceded with a nod. "You're right."

Alec finished the omelets and we ate together, and talked about everything other than serious topics. Alec told Bella more about his school, and we both filled her in on all our ridiculous stories of the weeks of rebuilding the cottage.

When we were finished eating, Bella insisted on helping us with the move, so that's what we did. Every once in awhile I'd catch Alec looking at me concerned and confused as to how she could try to kill herself one day, and then the next act perfectly fine as if nothing was wrong. But again, I couldn't push her, so we just went with it.

We loaded tuck full after truck full of boxes, and drove them over to the cottage. We wouldn't be able to move everything that day, but we were trying to get the most important things out first so we could actually be sleeping at the cottage that night. I had the electricity and heat turned on, and as the sun was beginning to set in the sky, Alec and I moved the beds. It was surreal to see Alec go straight to the room he had in the other world, and claim it for his own, but it felt really good at the same time.

Bella actually completely took over the stereotypical 'woman' role, and unpacked the kitchen while Alec and I continued with the heavier lifting. It was very domestic, and oddly comforting in the chaotic world we were currently living in.

As we finished up moving furniture, Bella began cooking something .

"Hey, what are you making?" I asked her.

"Dinner."

"I was just going to order a pizza," I told her gently.

She laughed once. "Alec is still growing, you can't just feed him pizza all the time."

"Oh…well…but you don't have to…"

"I want to cook, it relaxes me," she said quickly.

"Ok," I said softly, and then busied myself by removing the remaining empty boxes in the kitchen.

Alec was more than happy to have a fresh home cooked meal, and the three of us ate together and continued conversations about anything other than what really needed to be said. When we were finished, I did the dishes and I assumed Alec went to his room to set things up, but I had no idea where Bella had gone. I knew she didn't leave the cottage, but I was anxious not knowing where she was, so I rushed through the dishes, probably not cleaning them completely, and then searched for Bella. It was a small place and there really weren't many places for her to be, so finding her was easy enough. She was in our room, hanging up my clothes in the closet.

"Hey," I said so she would know I was there.

"Oh, I was just setting up your closet," she explained. She wasn't just hanging up my clothes I had brought with me from New York, she was also hanging my stuff I had left when I was eighteen.

"I'm not sure all that stuff will still fit me," I said casually. I was definitely bigger than I was at eighteen, not fatter, just more filled out….at least that was what I told myself.

She shrugged. "I'll just wear them then."

I smiled, probably my first genuine smile of the day, and then said "ok."

She had already made the bed, so I did the lame thing and made sure there was toilet paper in the bathroom, before coming back to watch Bella. I thought about asking her if she wanted me to go pick up her stuff from whatever hotel she had been staying at, but the last thing I wanted was to remind her of whatever upset her before. If she was happy wearing my old stuff, then I was too.

When she was done with the closet, I couldn't help but look inside and smile to myself again. She had placed all my newer clothes in the exact place my stuff had been in the other world, and she put my old clothes where hers had been. It was already starting to feel like home, and for a moment I could have sworn I heard the echo of Carlie's laughter.

I shook my head. If I wasn't careful, I was liable to go insane. I needed to keep my head straight and focused on the current, it was the only way to survive.

Bella went to go say goodnight to Alec, and when she came back, I took my turn to say good night to him.

"Wow, this is very…paternal of you," Alec joked when I came into his room.

"Ah, son," I joked back.

"You're not going to kiss my head the way Bella did, are you?" he asked with faux horror.

"Why, yes I am," I said with a smile and bent over. He thought I was bluffing so he didn't try to move, but when my lips came in contact with his forehead, he definitely seemed surprised, and well, disturbed.

"You're so weird," he said while wiping his head with the back of his arm.

"I know," I agreed. "You'll get use to it."

"I think the worst part is that I already am use to it," he said with feigned bitterness.

I laughed. "Thanks again…for everything. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," he said as I walked to the door. "Hey Edward," he called after me, so I stopped and turned to face him again. "Do you think Bella will end up staying with us?"

"Would you want her to?" I asked, legitimately curious as to his feelings on the subject.

He hesitated, but decided to say it anyway. "It's weird…but it feels like she belongs here with us."

I nodded. "Because she does."

"We just have to make sure she's ok…Ok?" he added.

"We're going to do everything we can," I assured him.

"Like a family," he said again.

"Exactly."

I said goodnight again, and then went back to Bella. I wasn't sure what she would be doing when I went back in the room, but for whatever reason, I wasn't expecting her to be where I found her. She was curled up in bed….on the same side of the bed the other her always slept in. It was definitely a trip, but felt completely right.

I pulled off my shirt, changed into some shorts, and gently climbed into bed next to her. Without hesitation, she rolled over to face me and curled into my chest. We didn't speak, we just drifted off to sleep just as we had the night before, wrapped up together.

***I know, no answers, I totally suck! LOL. Stick with me, and you may just hear the explosion of Bella's bomb coming up next…

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