A/N: Hello there... hehehe. Sorry for the wait! I'm still getting used to being in school again, and I've had a bunch of projects and assignments to do.
Plus I've been working on writing some other things as well. Not to mention that my power's been out for a day and that screwed up the Wi-Fi. And this chapter is SUPER long. So yea... I've been busy.
But to be fair, I did warn you guys that the updates would be less frequent... and now they are, so I honestly don't know why I'm apologizing. Huh...
Enjoy the chapter!
Keegan P.O.V
I quietly closed the door to the infirmary and practically ran to the rec room. The others greeted me as I came in, but I was looking for Luke and didn't have time to talk to them.
"Where's Luke?" I asked Ghost.
He was one of the few people who was awake, most of the others were napping or just not in here.
"He's grabbing some food in the mess hall. Is everything alright?" He asked, unconsciously combing his hand though Roach's hair.
I sighed and said, "Yeah, it's fine. I just... got an idea and wanted to talk it over with him."
He nodded and glanced at Roach as he shifted slightly. He was totally out, as was Archer, Kick, Soap, and Hesh. Ghost waited a moment for the younger man to settle down before he continued to speak.
"Okay, well Luke should be back in a minute or two if you want to wait for him."
I shook my head.
"I'm gonna go see if I can catch him on his way back. See you later!" I smiled, waving goodbye as I rushed out the door and down the hall.
I turned a corner and damn near knocked Luke down.
"Oh, sorry!" He apologized, even though it wasn't his fault.
"It's fine, I was looking for you! I think I figured out a way to convince Logan that Hesh didn't do anything to him."
His eyes widened and I followed him as he continued down the hallway.
"Really? How?"
"Well, I was talking to him earlier, when you sent me in to see what was up with him. He asked me if he was useful on this team because apparently Rorke told him he was holding us back so we ditched him. Now he has some serious self doubt issues and that's awful but it's not my point."
Luke raised an eyebrow.
"I suspected that he had self doubt issues, but wasn't able to confirm it. That's really sad, and we'll discuss it more later. But, if not that, then what is your point?"
"Hold your horses, I'm getting there!" I laughed.
"I don't have any horses, silly."
"They're imaginary, Lulu."
He pouted and traced a fake tear down his cheek.
"Mean."
"Suck it up. But anyways, he told me that 'Hesh' told him he got in everyone's way and was expendable. And of course I said he wasn't and everything, but then he said 'Hesh' stabbed him. Do you remember when we watched the video on the flash drive and he got stabbed? Rorke gave him a shot of something and stabbed him. But he said Hesh did it. Do you see what I'm getting at here?" I asked excitedly.
"You want to show him that part of the video and prove to him that it was Rorke and not Hesh?"
"Yes! Exactly!"
He smiled and patted my shoulder.
"That's a great idea. But he'll probably have a panic attack if he sees Rorke, even if it's in a video. You know how scared he is of him. You can't even say his name around him without him shaking and looking around the room." He sighed.
I nodded and replied, "Yeah, I know. But I'll sit with him and try to keep him calm. The video clip is only about 30 seconds long and we'll stop it before it gets... erm... gory. I'm pretty sure we'll manage."
Luke sighed and seemed to think for a few minutes.
"Alright, I suppose we can try that. But just to make sure he'll be okay, I'm gonna give him a light sedative before you show him anything."
I nodded. I could definitely see the sense in that.
"So when do you want to do this?" I asked.
"Well," he said, glancing at his watch, "it's 11:17 now. I say we do it at noon, that way we have time to discuss it with everyone and give Logan his meds."
"Okay, sounds good. What about Hesh?"
He shrugged.
"He's not gonna listen to any of us until he sees some results. I say we just leave him be."
I sighed. The subject of Hesh made me sad nowadays. It was terrible to see how close the Walker brothers had been before Logan was taken and now Hesh's name couldn't even be mentioned around him. Luke put a comforting hand on my shoulder.
"Everything's gonna be fine. You'll see."
5 Minutes Until Noon
Logan P.O.V
I jumped when the door flew open and Luke entered, holding a syringe filled with a clear liquid.
He smiled at me and said, "Hey, Logan. Just came to give you your meds. You ate lunch, right?"
I nodded quietly. I had eaten about half... that counts though, right? He injected the medicine into my IV port and looked over my injuries, cleaning them and wrapping them in fresh bandages. I tried not to think about where, or rather, who, they had come from.
Keegan came in while he was finishing up and my heart skipped a beat. He's so cute... It was weird though. He had a laptop and a flash drive in his hand. I shrugged mentally.
Maybe we're gonna watch a movie. A couple days ago, we watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off together. It was the best thing I had done since... since being rescued.
He returned the smile, although it seemed a bit... forced. I yawned. Ugh, I'm getting tired. This is the downside to being filled with meds. I feel like a bear who should be hibernating right now, but isn't.
"Hi, Logan! I brought something to show you." He grinned, sitting on the bed beside me.
"Bye Logan! I'll be back later to check on you, alright?" Luke said, waving to me as he left the room.
I shyly waved back and mouthed 'bye'. I wasn't as comfortable with Luke yet, but he's okay. I talked to him sometimes... but I mostly just spoke to Keegan. I trusted him the most. Speaking of Keegan, he was setting something up on the computer.
"What's that?" I asked curiously.
"A video clip. It's very short, but it's gonna help you a lot."
That made me kinda nervous...
"What do you mean?"
"Well... do you remember what we discussed this morning?"
My stomach dropped. Suddenly I didn't feel very tired anymore... I didn't like our conversation from earlier. He wrapped an arm around my waist.
"Y-yes... what about it?"
"I know you think Hesh hurt you and I know you're afraid of him. But you honestly have no reason to be. This will prove that he never touched you, nor did he say anything mean to you. Just- just watch, okay?" He said, pressing play.
An uneasy feeling crept into my stomach and when the video began to play, I understood why. There I was, in restraints and gagged on that awful metal table. My breath caught in my throat. I was covered in blood and bruises.
When Rorke walked in I gasped and jabbed the pause button, slamming the laptop shut and feeling slightly relieved when Rorke's face disappeared from the screen.
"T-take it away, Keegan! I don't w-wanna see anymore!" I cried, shoving at him and hoping for the first time that he would go away.
I was confused as to why he was showing me things like this. I thought he was trying to help me get better!
He grabbed my wrists and said, "Logan. Logan, listen to me."
"Why?! Why are y-you showing me t-this?!"
I tugged on my arms, but he refused to let go. My heart raced and my breathing sped up. Oh shit! This is why I didn't want to trust anyone in the first place! They may seem nice at first, but in the end they always-
"Logan, stop it! Calm down, I'm not gonna hurt you. Would you please listen to me for just a minute?" Keegan begged, loosening his hold on my wrists when I started wheezing.
"W-why would you show me t-that? You know I'm scared of him!" I whimpered, pointing at the laptop with a shaking finger.
Tears escaped from my eyes and I yanked my wrists away from him, burying my face in my hands.
"I'm not trying to scare you. I wouldn't even show you this if I didn't have to! I'm trying to help you. Don't you trust me?"
I sniffled and peeked at him from between my fingers. He smiled, wiping the tears from my cheeks.
"I don't know anymore..." I mumbled, moving back away from him slightly when he wrapped his arms around me.
"I would never do anything to hurt you. I promise. You'll understand why I'm showing you this in a minute... but I have to turn it back on first."
I shuddered and inched closer to him.
"You... you'll turn it off if I ask... right?" I breathed, still trying to stop shaking.
He nodded.
"I will. But there's only about 20 seconds left. I think you can handle it." He said, smiling reassuringly at me while opening the laptop again.
I blinked to clear my blurry vision and tried to stay calm as he pressed play again. It seemed a bit easier now for some reason... maybe it's the effects of whatever Luke gave me earlier.
My attention was dragged back to the screen as Rorke said, "Morning, Junior. Have a nice nap?"
He picked up a syringe and filled it with something purple. My stomach lurched and I shivered violently. I vaguely felt Keegan pull me closer and say something along the lines of, "It's alright, he's gone now."
When he jabbed the needle into my neck, I cried out at the same time as I did in the video, practically feeling the burn as the needle entered my neck.
I nearly jumped off the bed as well, but Keegan held onto me and shushed me, playing with my hair as a distraction. It didn't help much, but I was glad he was there. I'm pretty sure if I was alone, I would've smashed the laptop in a desperate attempt to make Rorke go away.
I flinched when he spoke again.
"Oh, shut up. If you think that hurts, it's gonna get a hell of a lot worse in a few minutes." He laughed cruelly.
I shuddered as his voice rang in my ears. I jumped again when I screamed in the video and started shaking as if it were negative a million degrees in the room. Keegan pulled me closer and it was only then that I realized I was shaking now as well.
A few tears trailed down my cheeks but somehow I kept watching. I managed to stay relatively calm despite the fact that all I wanted to do was scream and cry along with myself in the video because of the horrifying images flashing through my mind.
I think Keegan was a large help in that area though. I found myself feeling glad that he was there with me, and I leaned into his embrace. Since my attention was focused on the screen, I missed the loving smile that formed on his lips.
I shrank back when Rorke pulled his knife from the sheath, approaching the table. When I realized what was about to happen, it hit me like a brick wall. I remembered this. My leg started to ache, because apparently it remembered this too.
But now I was confused. Where was Hesh? He's the one who stabbed me, so why isn't he there? Keegan must've seen the confusion on my face because he stopped the video to explain. He had stopped it just in time too. The knife hovered above my leg and I felt like I was going to be sick.
He shut the laptop and brushed the tears from my cheeks with his thumb. It didn't help though, because I started crying harder when the reason why he showed me this video clicked.
I felt so guilty. I had... I had hurt Hesh. Blamed him for something he hadn't done. I remembered his hurt expression when I had moved away from him when he came to rescue me with the rest of the team. He had been to relieved, so happy to see me and I had pushed him away.
It was so clear now and I felt incredibly stupid for being afraid of him in the first place. He would never hurt me. I never should've doubted that.
But just because Rorke had injected some purple shit into me, I had been afraid of my own big brother. Was that all it took to tear a relationship like ours apart? I was ashamed that I had been fooled so easily.
Why was I so stupid? Maybe the team really doesn't need me around... they surely don't if I'm this daft. Keegan just hugged me while I cried. He seemed to realize that I had figured things out and that silence was the best thing for me about now.
I gasped in ragged breaths for air, all of which sent a spike of pain through my ribs. But I didn't care. I knew that it could be much much worse, and to be honest, I felt it should be. I couldn't believe how stupid I was...
After about 15 minutes I managed to calm down some. After that all I wanted was Hesh. I needed... I needed to talk to him. To tell him how sorry I was and hope to God that he'll forgive me. I tried to sit up, intending to go to Hesh myself, but Keegan pushed me back down.
"What are you doing, Logan?"
I pointed to the door and said, "Have to t-talk to Hesh!"
His eyebrows flew up and he was surprised, but I could tell he was happy too. The fact that I made him happy made me feel better.
"Are you sure?" He asked, remembering the last time Hesh tried to come see me.
My heart sunk. Tears gathered in my eyes and slid down my cheeks.
"D-does Hesh not... wanna see m-me?" I choked out, although deep down I understood.
"Oh, no! Logan, of course he wants to see you! That's not what I meant at all! I was asking if you were sure you wanted to see him! Don't cry..."
I sniffled and mumbled, "Why wouldn't I want... to see him? He didn't d-do anything wrong."
He smiled at me and said, "You didn't either Logan. I know what you're thinking, and this isn't your fault. But I'll go get Hesh, okay? Stay right here!"
I nodded and followed him with my eyes as he ran out the door.
Hesh P.O.V
I sighed as I stared up at the rec room ceiling. I wish I could go see Logan... I miss him. I miss his fluffy blonde hair and mischievous brown eyes. I miss his bright smile and cute laugh. I miss making him laugh... I almost smiled as images of him flashed through my mind.
Tears gathered in my eyes as I came to the usual conclusion- I wouldn't miss him at all if only I had saved him that day on the beach. I wouldn't miss him because I'd be with him right now.
But I hadn't saved him and he had suffered greatly- all because of me. I heard my friends talking but I ignored them. It probably wasn't anything important anyways.
I jumped as someone ran into the room, but I didn't look to see who it was. I didn't care if it was anyone other than Logan. He was the only person I wanted to see right now. In fact, if he was the last person I ever saw, I'd be perfectly content.
"Hesh! Hesh, get off your ass and go see your brother! Right now!" Keegan yelled.
I turned to glare at him.
"He doesn't want to see me, you idiot! Haven't you been here for the past couple weeks?!" I screeched.
He ignored me and grabbed my arm, pulling me up off the floor.
"But he does! I showed him the video and- and now he's better and he's asking for you!"
Now I was just confused. Logan watched a video? Was he talking about... the video?! I had no idea how that could help Logan in any way, but Keegan seemed to be serious.
In fact, he was so serious that he literally dragged me across the room and out the door. The others were too stunned to say anything at first, but after a moment they all got up and followed us down the hall.
When we reached the infirmary, he shoved me through the door and left me alone with Logan, who was laying in his hospital bed. My heart sunk when I saw his tear stained cheeks and red rimmed eyes. I could immediately tell that he had been crying.
I was so shocked that I almost jumped when he reached for me.
"H-Hesh... I'm so s-s-sorry!" He cried, tears beginning to run down his cheeks again.
I was beside him faster than the next tear left his eye. I hugged him and an indescribable relief flowed through me when he returned the hug. He buried his face in my chest and cried, his tears soaking through my shirt, but I couldn't have cared less.
He was hugging me. I was holding my baby brother and now I wouldn't have given a shit if the Earth blew up. But despite my happiness, Logan was crying so hard that I was worried he couldn't breathe.
"Hey, what's wrong? Logan, why are you so upset?" I asked, wiping the tears from his cheeks.
He raised his tear filled eyes to meet mine.
"B-because I was so... so s-stupid. I shoulda known y-you would never hurt me but I-I was stupid... I'm really... really s-sorry." He said quietly.
I smiled at him and cupped his cheeks.
"You don't need to be sorry! None of this was your fault, alright? None of it. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine. I should've been more careful-"
He shook his head so fast I was scared it would fall off.
"Nooo! N-not your fault..." He muttered.
He said it with so much confidence that he damn near convinced me.
"We'll say it's Merrick's fault and call it even, alright?" I chuckled, my heart nearly stopping when he laughed.
Joy filled me to the brim when I realized that I had made him laugh. Then his eyelids drooped and I could tell he was trying not to yawn.
"'Kay..." He mumbled.
"Looks like it's time for you to take a nap." I laughed, ruffling his hair.
He finally gave in and yawned.
"Mmmm..." He hummed, "Stay here..."
"You don't need to worry about that, Log. I won't be leaving you again for a long while."
I fixed the blankets and rearranged his pillows, and when I turned back around he was sound asleep. I smiled and kissed him on the forehead.
"Goodnight, Logan."
A/N: So... was that good? Bad? TERRIBLE?! Whatever it was, I did my best. Okay? I really did! I spent about 6 hours writing and editing this! And most of it was in one sitting! So please review! I love hearing from you guys! It makes me happy! :)