Benjamin Tallmadge had just been thinking how like the constellation of stars on her scarf were the freckles across Charlotte's porcelain cheeks, flushed rosy by the harsh winter wind, when he realized he had as yet said nothing, and the splendid creature above him was waiting expectantly for him to do so. He wrenched himself out from beneath the spell of his transfixion and bowed with as much decorum as his pounding heart would allow, careful to avoid moving too near for propriety's sake. He raised his eyes to her again, realizing she had straightened and now looked down to him with a kind of gentle ease about her carriage and expression that soothed in him a tension he had not known he had harbored until this moment, feeling now its absence.
"Miss Adams…." he uttered. She watched his chest heave beneath his waistcoat, as he breathed deeply into his lungs and exhaled, shaking his head a little bit, scoffing with a little smile of disbelief, still surprised, and frankly impressed, to see her. His brows furrowed a bit, and he looked up at her, murmuring quietly in his concern "Is…is everything….all right?"
Charlotte tipped her head down and to the left, the corners of her mouth drawing further apart to widen her tender, closed mouth smile. Ben resisted the urge to grin openly in response to how much further pronounced it rendered her matching dimples, such a charming feature of hers, but the severity of his question and the anticipation of its answer prevented him from doing so.
"That is precisely what I have come here to make certain of, Captain." She said, softly. Before he could speak, looking up, slightly open mouthed in disbelief, at her, moved as he was by her words, she continued.
"That, and I have" she lowered her voice even further, thought there was not a soul close enough to hear them, and dipped forward again to speak in confidence,
"I have intelligence I feel would be best conveyed in your presence, rather than risking discovery of lengthy written communication that likely requires explanation…So...when Tabitha...when I heard of your misfortunate in the Delaware…"
Charlotte was panicked by the thought that she was gibbering like a baboon, and suddenly horrified at the notion of how ludicrous her behavior had been, that she had arrived, unannounced, on a military base where she did not strictly belong, having traveled nearly a hundred miles on a whim. She was terrified that she might have inconvenienced or irritated the only person for whom she had ever had any true affection, and concerned further still that he might turn her away, despite having thus far not demonstrated any displeasure with her. Ben, for his own part, was cursing Tabitha for all his imagination was suggesting she had likely told Charlotte, and was doing his best not to appear irked lest Charlotte think herself the source of his exasperation. He opened his mouth to speak, stepping a bit closer to her impressive horse, reaching out in a gentle, reassuring gesture, but Charlotte was speaking again, and Ben found he himself could not, wanting only to listen.
His eyes searched her plainly troubled face, a sharp twinge besieging his heart.
"I know it was reckless and impulsive of me to come..." she breathed laboriously, looking down at her hands, fiddling nervously with the braided reins within them, turning then her face back to Ben's with a look that begged he be merciful. "Captain…..Please forgive me...I couldn't stay away."
Sensing her distress, and deeply moved by her words, Ben drew even closer to her, resisting the urge to touch her hand, where it rested beside the other on her horse's withers. Instead, he reached up and patted her horse's neck reassuringly, speaking in a tone that both comforted and conveyed authority.
"You have done nothing for which you need ask my forgiveness."
His blue eyes flickered back and forth between his hand, gently stroking her horse's neck, and her wide brown eyes, fixed on him. He continued
"If anyone it is I who should be asking your forgiveness, for having allowed you to place yourself in such terrible danger."
Charlotte fiddled with her reins, a flush rising again in her cheeks now that her faith in his impression of her had been restored. She reached forward with a rein in her gloved hand to pet Powhatan herself, happy to have something to occupy her lest she continue to stare too fixedly at the dashing Captain who finally stood beside her once more after so long.
"You mustn't think of it in those terms," Charlotte said, her voice a soft, soothing hum. "It is my great honor to be able to contribute in however small a way, to our noble cause, and my great privilege to be under the direction of so capable and intelligent a handler."
"You flatter me, Miss Adams."
"Then I may count at least part of my mission to New Jersey successful."
When Ben flushed, she laughed, surprised by her own bravado. Charlotte continued, hoping to communicate all she intended to before she lost her nerve. "I realize that you must be actively occupied here, at headquarters, on terribly important business that I neither wish nor intend to keep you from. I meant only to inform you of my presence in New Jersey and express my hope that when you are… at liberty" here she paused, giving emphasis to her charming reference "we might speak."
Ben nodded politely, and began to speak.
"As it so happens, I am at liberty now." He looked over to the building in which he and Sackett had been hard at work all morning, suggesting to Charlotte that it was there he had been, "General Washington…"
"His Excellency?" Charlotte asked. She pressed her weight down into her only stirrup, rising up as much as her sidesaddle would allow, peering around, and scanning her line of vision to see if she could catch a glimpse of the man himself. Her mother would have been mortified. "He is actually here?" She whispered to Ben.
Ben beamed, for just a moment, both charmed by Charlotte's excitement and reminded of his own when first the General had appeared before him following Trenton and Princeton. Then he reminded himself he was in front of subordinate officers and cleared his face of all expression.
"Not at this moment, but I have been…. assisting him." Charlotte sat back down in her saddle, collecting herself, realizing she had been rather unladylike in her nosiness.
Ben's chest swelled with pride, the fact that he was able to inform Charlotte of his involvement with His Excellency gave him a bit of a thrill. He continued.
"I was only just taking a short recess from discussion with a colleague of his, on our mutual theatre of interest-" Ben indicated to Charlotte, by his expression, that the 'our' suggested both his with the man she would come to know as Mr. Sackett, and theirs, his and Charlotte's, handler and spy. He was about to continue when he was once more interrupted, by someone else.
Powhatan had remained relatively motionless, with the exception of a few discreet tosses of his head, a testament to the manners Charlotte had taught him, but he was certainly curious about the young man standing beside him, who seemed to have such a profound depth of interest in his mistress. The shift in Charlotte's weight had also not gone unnoticed. He craned his neck and turned his head to his left, twitching his ears about with curiosity, and sniffed with interest at the arm of Ben's bright blue regimental coat, flapping and wobbling his lips a bit in attempt to obtain information about the new stranger. Charlotte leaned to the side to watch what he was doing, and narrowed her eyes, amused by this behavior. Generally, her horse was rather bored and indifferent to humans with whom he had no familiarity, and occasionally somewhat standoffish. But she had always considered him a wonderful judge of character, and was pleased to see that he had taken an interest in the Captain. Ben chuckled softly and put out his hand, allowing the big gelding to sniff his palm, feeling the warmth of the horse's breath as he exhaled.
'This is Powhatan," Charlotte said. "Who apparently has been waiting for an introduction."
Ben smiled and stepped closer to Powhatan's head, speaking soft and low, muttering
"Hey, boy."
The horse raised his face to Ben's, sticking his muzzle into the space beside Ben's shoulder and his left ear, blowing on him in greeting. Recalling his initial intention before the horse's pleasant interruption, Ben turned his attention back to Charlotte, gently petting Powhatan's neck as the horse continued to snuffle at him good naturedly.
"Miss Adams…" he smiled with reserved anticipation, "Would you care to take a walk with me?" Ben asked.
Charlotte smiled openly at him, then pursed her lips in the hopes of containing the extent of her excitement, and nodded. "I'd like that very much."
Before Ben could move to help her, unsure of exactly how he should do so, Charlotte had expertly freed her right leg from its perch on the leaping horn of her sidesaddle, both legs now on her left side, and dropped her left foot out of her single stirrup. With a silent prayer that none of her petticoats would snag anywhere, lest she reveal to the Captain anything she hoped, at least at this juncture, to keep concealed, Charlotte dropped from her sidesaddle with a whish and rustle of fabric, and landed gracefully on the balls of her feet in her leather riding boots, with a satisfying crunch in the snow. Though her landing was not, her newfound proximity to Ben was jarring, for both, and they stood for a moment, taking one another in. A breeze rustled through the few giant pine trees bordering and dotting the many lawns at headquarters, and sent those locks not pinned beneath Charlotte's cocked hat to blowing about her shoulders in graceful tendrils propelled in varied directions by the wind. Ben moved aside, noticing that Charlotte held Powhatan's reins in her right hand, sensing that she meant to put them over his head, which she did, walking up to stand beside him as she did so. He closed the space between them, studying Charlotte with all the attention he would give the map of a critical vantage point, or an invaluable piece of intelligence, and with all the admiration he had given His Excellency, though for far different reasons and with far different intent. Ben absorbed all of her that he possibly could, standing yet at a respectable distance.
He watched her draw the reins over Powhatan's head and hold them looped in her left hand as she went back to her saddle and ran up her single stirrup iron up along the rear loop of the stirrup leather, setting it to rest high up under the knee roll, tucking the stirrup leather back through the iron so it would rest securely. Then Charlotte turned back around to face Ben, fixing the reins to hold them in both of her hands, clutched in each fist at different intervals. She smiled up at him, unsure what to do next, and it was then Ben turned his attention to the man who had swung down from his own horse when Charlotte had dismounted, and had now come around, leading his horse, to where he could be seen.
"Mi'Charlotte?" He called, holding out a hand for her reins.
"Oh!" Charlotte said, tearing her eyes from Ben's face.
"Just a moment, please, Philip."
She spoke only to Powhatan. "Let's see if you've been icing up."
She had been worried about his hooves in the snow, despite the relative warmth of the day, and despite the lateness of the season. Charlotte stood beside Powhatan, facing his tail, and, looping a rein through her arm onto her elbow, she leaned over and gently pushed her weight against his shoulder, running her hand down his cannon with her left hand, stopping where it joined with his fetlock, reaching down with her other hand to pick up his hoof. She turned it to look at the bottom, scrutinizing the sole and the frog, pleased to see nothing there.
"You're all right." She said, carefully placing Powhatan's hoof back onto the ground. She stood and went to Philip with Powhatan, handing over her reins.
"I coulda done that, Mi'Charlotte," Philip scolded.
Charlotte smiled. "You do too much." She turned back to Ben.
"Captain Tallmadge, may I present Philip Freedman, our stable master."
The two men nodded cautiously at one another. Philip turned back to Charlotte. "I'll be 'round when you need me. I'll check them other feet, too."
Charlotte nodded her thanks and Philip walked off with both horses. Then Charlotte turned back and stood before Ben once again, nothing to do with her hands but worry them together slightly, waiting for him to speak.
He watched her face, studying, committing to memory. Ben longed to reach for her, to smooth his hands slowly along her narrowed sides where her stays pulled her in at her waist, and draw them around behind her to rest his palms against her back, where he could apply gentle yet assertive pressure and draw her close to him, to hold her against his chest where she might rest her cheek on his waistcoat beneath his chin and put her arms about him in return. But they were at His Excellency's headquarters, and all he longed for would have to wait, though he was encouraged by her warmth and her kindness that she might desire what he himself so yearned for.
Charlotte managed to look away once again, and noticed, with alarm, that many of the enlisted men present had ceased the process of completing their tasks, or were continuing distractedly, to look at them both, and suddenly she was compelled to panic again. Her eyes shifted around, her worry growing exponentially as she noted all the pairs of eyes on them.
She stepped closer to Ben and whispered "Everyone is staring at us."
Ben chuckled and looked down at his feet for a moment before looking back up at her. "I believe everyone is staring at you, Miss Adams."
She was suddenly reminded of the very real possibility that her presence could bring about negative implications for Ben.
"Truly, should I not have come?" She asked, clearly alarmed. "Have I jeopardized your position? You must think me mad! I'm terribly sorry if I-"
"Miss Adams!" Ben exclaimed, interrupting, his voice gentle yet unmistakably authoritative, commanding.
"You are….most welcome here." He sighed, displeased with the soldiers' behavior, that it had become necessary for him to account for their gawking. His compulsion to pull her to his chest and hold her against him surged within him, stronger than ever.
"I believe it is their genuine surprise to see a woman in their midst, especially one of such station, in conjunction with…." Ben took a breath, summoning courage, speaking softly, and earnestly, "your…incomparable loveliness…that has captured their attention."
Charlotte took a deep breath, greatly relieved once more, and managed a smile, a flush rising in her cheeks.
"How kind of you to say, Captain." She paused. "But I must admit I can think of…only one" she paused, nudging her head in his direction "whose attention I would be pleased to capture." She smiled very openly and plainly at him now, looking directly into his eyes, and Ben could feel himself shifting his weight in boots as he fought the instinct to step forward and take both of her hands in his and press his forehead against hers.
Instead, he smiled again. "You have more than my attention, Miss Adams."
She gave a soft easy laugh and slightly inclined her head, raising her eyebrows hopefully.
"Please…call me Charlotte."
Ben bowed his head to her, acknowledging his acquiescence, pursing his lips, yet smiling at the same time.
"Shall we?" He asked, gesturing grandly with his left arm in the direction of the walking path.
Charlotte nodded. "Lead and I shall follow, Captain."
He chuckled, standing beside her now, turning to look down at her as they walked side by side. His voice was soft and assuring when he spoke. "Please, call me Ben."
