Tony walked into the kitchen and found his teenage son sitting at the table. Normally he would chastise the boy for being up so late on a school night but it was clear that Ethan was distressed. It was clear that his son had gotten as much if not less sleep than he had that night.
"What are you doing up?" Tony asked.
"Couldn't sleep. You?" Ethan replied.
"Same" Tony replied.
"You have a nightmare too?" Ethan asked.
"About Jimmy" Tony sighed.
"You haven't had a bad dream in weeks." Ethan commented.
"Seeing Breena today kind of brought a lot of things back." Tony replied.
"How is she?" Ethan asked.
"She is pretty depressed. I am actually really worried about her." Tony replied.
"Is she going to be OK?" Ethan asked.
"I don't know" Tony replied.
"Oh" Ethan sighed.
"Hey what happened with you? Why are you having nightmares?" Tony asked.
"Remember when I was little? Those dreams I had about death?" Ethan asked.
"Yeah" Tony replied.
"They are back." Ethan replied.
"Since the explosion?" Tony questioned.
"They have been worse since then but they started around the time mom got pregnant." Ethan explained.
"Maybe you are feeling replaced?" Tony asked.
"No dad it has nothing to with the babies or even you. I don't know dad. I think I am going to die." Ethan explained.
"No! No you are not!" Tony insisted.
"I have been having these dreams my entire life. You and the school shrink have always brushed it off as something else but I don't think it is something else. I think that I am going to die." Ethan explained.
"You really are scared, aren't you?" Tony asked.
"Yes" Ethan replied.
"I am too" Tony admitted.
"I understand. Just if anything ever does happen to me. Don't cut Brandon out of your life." Ethan replied.
"Never" Tony promised.
"How are you doing after... everything?" Ethan asked.
"The actual explosion. It doesn't really bother me anymore. I am OK and I...I made the right choice with leaving... but Jimmy... Jimmy is different. I hate that he is gone. I hate that he went the way he did. That he went when he did. I just want him back. Not even for me. For Breena." Tony explained.
"I miss him too." Ethan admitted.
"He was the sweetest guy. He was always there for you and he loved Breena so much. He loved those children so much." Tony recalled.
"Maybe we should do something for Breena. A tribute or whatever?" Ethan suggested.
"That sounds like a really good idea" Tony agreed.
"Brandon has been working on his music. He can do covers but he has also been working on original music. He did this one song after his cousin died. I think it would be perfect." Ethan offered.
"That would be wonderful." Tony replied.
"Thanks" Ethan replied.
"About what you said earlier. I don't want you to be scared. I am not brushing off your fears. I am actually terrified myself but the thing I learned in my years as a cop. You cannot live in fear of when it is going to happen. If you spend your life being afraid. You don't truly live." Tony explained.
"I know and I am working on it." Ethan replied.
"Stay strong" Tony begged.
"I am trying to. I wish this was just teen angst or depression brought on by anything else. Something that was easy but it is not. I am really, really afraid. This is the greatest fear I have ever felt. I have felt it since I was a child. It has never truly gone away. Though I did try to convince myself that it was just me being a stupid kid." Ethan rambled.
"I wish I had delved further into this fear. I wish that I had not just let that shrink convince me that you being a stupid kid. I should have known that your fears went deeper than that. I guess I am just glad I realized my mistakes before it was too late." Tony apologized.
"It's alright dad. I did the same thing." Ethan assured.
"I love you." Tony said.
"I know" Ethan replied.
"God this is so weird. When did you become an adult?" Tony questioned.
"I am not even eighteen yet. I won't be for months." Ethan reminded.
"I know but you have grown so much in the past couple months. I am proud of you." Tony clarified.
"Thanks dad. I am proud of you too." Ethan replied.
"You? Of me? For what?" Tony asked.
"Just for all the choices you have made lately. Leaving NCIS so you can have more time for the twins. It is impressive." Ethan explained.
"Thank you but I am just doing what any good father would do." Tony replied.
"Will you tell them about me?" Ethan asked.
"I don't want to have to but I will." Tony promised.
"Don't tell mom about this. It will just upset her." Ethan pleaded.
"I have to tell her. She needs to know so we can get you help if need be." Tony explained.
"Why would I need help? I am not crazy. This is really happening." Ethan questioned.
"So that you can prepare. No different than if you had cancer or something." Tony explained.
"Makes sense" Ethan replied.
"I love you. I want you to know that. I want to pretend that this conversation never happened or that it is just some weird behavior. Because the idea of losing you is terrifying. You are my mini me. My daddy's boy. Maria was such a Mamma's girl and Trevor was a Mamma's boy. You were the Dada's boy I always dreamed of. Not that it would matter. No parent wants to lose their baby. God I love you so much. I wish that I could protect you from the world." Tony explained.
"I know" Ethan assured.
"You should try to get some sleep." Tony commented.
"So should you." Ethan replied.
"I don't think I can." Tony sighed.
"Same here." Ethan agreed.
A/N: Tony and Ethan seem to have a lot on their minds. New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.