Title: Illicit love
Series: 50scenes Prompt Table No.2 (#007-Bitter)
Author: Kanon
Genre: Romance/Angst
Rating: PG
Pairing: Kurosaki Ichigo x Hitsugaya Toushiro
Disclaimer: Bleach sovereigns over me, not the other way round.
Distribution: Fanfiction and LJ
Summary: Whatever Ichigo had expected from Toushiro after the Kasumi-Ouji fiasco, it was definitely not this.
Spoilers: Based on Ep185 but takes place after the end of the filler.
Warning: Royally sucky, abruptly fluffy ending because I excel in the shitty stuff. Possibly OOC-Hitsugaya at the end. Draft.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-IchiHitsu-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Author's Note:

I had started this scene not long after Ep185 but it was left abandoned until now. And now, I don't know what the hell I'm blabbing on about. Apology in advance for the shit ending. I've been working on Orderly Madness but thought I'd write a scene since my last one was almost a month ago. Stopping in the middle of an oneshot is never a good idea. *goes emo in a corner*

Don't ask about the title. I couldn't come up with any so I yanked one from Vidoll's songs. *runs away*

:::::Illicit love by Kanon:::::

"…"

Ichigo swore that if the damn silence lasted any longer, he was going to break something in the office or at least scream loud enough for the entire division to hear him out of frustration. The Kasumi-Ouji family's treason was finally brought down to a close with the entire Gotei 13 raiding the grand mansion and Luluchiyo was now reinstated as the rightful head of the clan, Shuu all too happy to hand over the title. Any past commotions Ichigo and the others had caused with regards to the incident were expectedly forgiven and Rukia was even spared of silent but nevertheless imposing rebuke from her austere step-brother.

However, for him, things were apparently far from over.

"What the hell are you pissed off at me for?"

The wintry sea-green orbs that had been completely ignoring the teen shot up from the paper they had been glued on and flashed dangerously in a manner that promised a lengthy stay in a watertight glacial prison. However, much to Ichigo's irritation, and this was new because he always preferred staying outside of Hyourinmaru's manifestation, the captain merely returned his attention to his work without a word. It was enough to bring out an irate snarl out of the substitute shinigami who was fast losing what little patience he had left.

"Toushiro, stop ignoring me! You've been like this since that time at the gate of Luluchiyo's place. I felt it there, you were about to explode on me already. What the hell, Toushiro? You weren't even going to hear me out! Did you think-"

A burst of icy reiatsu, unadulterated and ferocious as if facing an enemy, instantly shut the shocked teen up but in a blink of an eye, it was gone, pulled tightly back by the skilful owner. Completely thrown off his feet by the prodigy's evident fury he had not imagined nor did he think he deserved, Ichigo gritted his teeth and fisted his hands; sure he had caused some major uproar that apparently had the entire Gotei 13 fighting against each other at some point but there had been a valid reason and moreover, it was not his fault that the divisions had fallen into disarray. It was so unlike his clever little dragon to be still vexed with him; hell, it was unlike his Toushiro to be silently pulsing with concealed resentment at the Kasumi-Ouji mansion in the first place. If anyone was to catch the whiff of the foul plan in the air, it would certainly have been his lover blessed with the famous intelligence and the sharp intuition. Something had obviously ignited the frosty wrath of the mighty dragon; only if he knew what it was, hopefully, before his impulsive temper got the better of him.

"Toushiro. Speak. Now."

The low growling only led to another blaze of uncontrolled frigidness, just barley stopped before it ascended to a level that would alarm the unsuspecting shinigamis. The teal eyes were glowing dangerously and when the knife-like gaze turned towards him, Ichigo felt himself getting pinned down to his place with invisible force and his brain fell into a messy tornado of puzzlement with random frames of memories chucked in carelessly, the storm only worsened by the alarming red seeping into his vision, because, what had he done to deserve this kind of treatment from someone who supposedly loved him yet would not even spare a minute to listen to him? Clearly, Toushiro believed that he was nothing but a reckless rule-breaker who took pleasure in raising mayhem. Still, he knew that the whole ruckus had placed his lover in a rather awkward position until the ugly truth had come out and so, he had come, ready to apologise, ready to forgive, ready to make up with a kiss.

He scoffed. That plan was now all but thrown out of window, far over the horizon.

"You dare take that kind of tone on me, Kurosaki Ichigo?"

"Yes, I dare. Shouldn't I be the one pissed off here?"

The scrunched face of the young captain gained a hint of disbelieving incredulity but it was buried underneath the rage that had gone up a notch in every line and curve. The ear-splitting noise of the chair legs clawing the ligneous floor went unnoticed by the two furious occupants but the steadily escalating tension was now starting to trickle out of the office.

"You?"

"Your behaviour there told me everything I needed to know. What am I to you, a brainless git? What is up with you? You caught Aizen out fine. Why are you suddenly being a rule-bound thickhead like those dolts?!"

The clear emeralds narrowed down to slits, promising an explosion with a deafening bang. A part of Ichigo urgently whispered to him that this was the first serious argument between them since the new turnabout their friendship and comradeship took on and it dawned on him, perhaps a little belatedly, that the aftermath of the about-to-follow destruction could --more truthful to say 'would'-- cause a fair bit of trouble later.

However, it never came.

"…Do you honestly think our relationship is not frowned upon in Soul Society?"

The teen blinked at the unexpected question seemingly completely irrelevant to their current row. Then he almost flinched in the following silence; the foreboding swirling of the frosty presence had disappeared in some unknown moment and the abruptly subdued prodigy's turquoise eyes had gained a touch of cerulean tinge addled with what he could only discern to be bitterness churned with weariness.

"What?"

Ichigo glanced over his shoulder in confusion when he felt the more repressed tendrils of snowed winter gently probing around the area but all that he saw was the bleak brown door filling up his vision. With curiosity that had not quite lost all the hints of the previous anger, the teen shifted his gaze back to the unmoving captain who steadily met the stare and spoke in a dry, deadpan voice. For all he knew, Hitsugaya could have been talking about a nameless shinigami that had been involved in a typical drunk brawl on a weekend night with the same old exasperation.

"You. Me. Us. Two guys. A shinigami taichou and a human ryoka. It does not make a good picture."

"What…?"

"Why did I not hear you out?" Hitsugaya scoffed derisively, flopping back down into his seat and crossing his arms. "I could have, Kurosaki. I would have. You were tricked by Amagai too but you were certainly right that something was going on with the Kasumi-Ouji family. And I know that it was because you are not tied down with the regulations of Gotei 13 that the two bodyguards of the young clan head sought you instead."

The perplexity continued to grow with every word that left the prodigy and Ichigo blinked with a frown. "Then why-"

"And all of this could have been a mere problem of trust between us had you come to me the moment the trouble reared its head but you tumbled the whole thing down the hill when you failed to do so. Why didn't you, Kurosaki? You say that I obviously think of you as a trouble-maker ryoka. Wasn't it you who first saw me as Gotei 13? It was you who first pushed me aside, Kurosaki. It was you who gave me no choice but be a goddamn rule-bound thickhead as you put it because that is what keeps us together in this realm without any problems. It is because I continue to follow the proper path of a taichou of Gotei 13 that they do not have a say in what I do in my personal life even if my lover happen to be at the centre of every single chaos."

"Hey, it's not my fault that-!"

The irritated retort was quickly cut down by another wry snort from Hitsugaya and Ichigo knitted his eyebrows but remained silent. The small face that was surprisingly expressive around him was starting to show signs of something he had not wanted to see; hurtful wounds from betrayal -- by none other than himself.

"Does it matter? Trouble seems to have a way of finding you and it is a lie if I say Gotei 13 is not worried about the tendency. So give me a break, Kurosaki, and at least give me leeway to help you without making it harder than it already is. In case you have not noticed, I'm your lover, if not, a nakama of a rank with a fair amount of resources at hands or at the very least, I will have more sensible ways to go about without turning the situation into an overwhelming snowball which is something you unfortunately excel in."

Another silence, this time, more cowed than before, filled the office. The brown eyes apparently unable to decide between shock, retaliating defence and apology, were fixed on the young captain sighing wearily with a exasperated frown as he leaned back in his chair.

"Is that true?"

There was no answer. Hitsugaya knew what the question was about; he simply did not want to talk about the subject any more even if he had brought it up. The white-toped head remained in its backwards inclination, the eyebrows firmly furrowed, the lips sealed tightly.

"How come I never heard anything until now?"

"…You are surrounded by your friends while here. I'm here every day and night and I have Matsumoto as my fukutaichou. I'm bound to hear things that you, or many others for that matter, don't hear. And I say this one more time but I'm taichou. You do not turn someone of such a rank into an obvious gossip topic no matter what your opinion may be, at least not outwardly. I did not tell you because regardless of the insignificant whispers, I would do my job; it would not change anything. And I trusted you to seek me before putting me in such a position."

Ichigo winced at the last line and even more at the blank expression he could just about see on the visage that still faced the ceiling in favour of the world around them. Everything that had pent up inside him since the brief encounter at the Kasumi-Ouji mansion was not even a memory anymore; they had disappeared like they had never existed in the first place.

The silence was thick like blood clotted but not quite fully and dripping down like syrup. The teal eyes remained dully staring at the tasteless ceiling; the hazel ones shifted from the still form of the prodigy appearing to be almost asleep, to the desk with papers scattered on them, to the tea table at the front, half of it occupied by even more papers, to Hyourinmaru whose hilt is visible above the desk next to the captain, then back to the boy, only to startle because the cold green gaze is now fixed on him.

"…I'm sorry."

The baritone voice that followed was quieter than usual, a little more tired than usual, a little more exasperated than usual, and perhaps, a little more needy than usual.

"Apology accepted. Now, get over here."

The small hand roughly pointed the empty space next to the captain and Ichigo cocked his head for a moment before obediently followed the order. It had been long since the last time they had properly spent time together and although there was a mess that he needed to sort out in his head, having Toushiro in his arms while doing so was not a bad idea at all. It would at least keep the direction of his thoughts in check.

The turquoise eyes glared at the teen with the remnants of the aggravated ire when he came to a stop at where Hitsugaya had wanted him but before Ichigo could say anything, the captain had already toppled into his arms that had automatically come up to securely wrap around the slumped shoulders.

"Eh, Toushiro?!"

"I'm tired."

Ichigo lifted an eyebrow but soon understanding lit up the hazels with a hint of guilt. The prodigy must have been restraining the anger and the mental wounds the whole time and keeping the grand amount of reiatsu firmly coiled within in such psychological state was not the easiest task even for someone with decades of experience. And after hearing what he had just heard, he was not going to complain about being a human pillar but-

"O-Okay… but the coach would be more…"

"You're going to be my pillow."

"I'll be your pillow over…"

"It's your punishment. You're going to be my pillow right here until I wake up."

"But Tou-"

"Shut up. A pillow doesn't talk."

"…Toushiro…"

"Promise."

"Huh?"

The muffled voice continued to grow more and more distant but no words were slurred and somehow, without having to pull away to check, the teen knew the captain was more awake than his voice let on.

"You never do this to me again. If there is a problem, you come to me. Don't just call me Toushiro. See me as Toushiro. And if needs be-"

The brown eyes widened, an unusual spark of something like premonition letting him know where this was going.

"Tou-"

"And if needs be, I go with you and we face whatever that may come afterwards together, not against each other."

"…Tou…"

"Don't make me bear my blade against my precious someone again. I know you. I trust you."

"!"

"Now shut up."

"Tou-"

"Shut. Up."

Ichigo was sorely tempted to remember the last time he had managed to speak in a full sentence but the desire to squeeze the bundle in his arms hard easily came over the cynical and useless wish. And so, without a word, he gently placed his chin on the pristine spikes, snaked his arms around the lean body as far as possible, and hunched over, engulfing the small shinigami completely. A soft sigh fluttered about at his chest, followed by a little snuggling, then all the movement ceased save the warm air tickling his skin.

He knew that they had a lot of things to talk about once Toushiro woke up; and he knew that the prodigy was aware of it too. However for now, his fatigued dragon wished to enjoy uninterrupted slumber in warm darkness that only he could provide even after the mayhem he had resulted in and it was the least he could do to make up for the stupid mistake he had made.

The lack of any sound was like a surreal lullaby, the hush soft, gentle and mellow. The cool breezes that wafted in and out at immeasurable intervals were like adoring caresses of a loving mother on the skin. The Sun had traded its blinding radiance for the pastel orange glow, congratulating the shinigamis for their hard work at the end of the day with its picturesque view. And when the small hands that had been entwined in his shihakushou finally lost their grip and fell limp, the teen picked up the sleeping boy with great care as if handling a fragile glass doll then strode over to the plush couch. The red velvet cushion sank to mould into the shape of the weight and with a small sigh, Ichigo placed his lover on his lap, cradling the warm heat that now leaned on his chest more comfortably. It seemed that Toushiro was out cold and knitting his eyebrows, Ichigo brushed the white bang out of the eyes; with the injuries he had received from the battle with Amagai, he had been half-forcibly detained in the relief station by Unohana for nearly a week. And the whole time, Hitsugaya would have been battling to deal with the life that continued as usual despite the blizzard inside; he wondered if the over-stressed dragon had managed to get any decent sleep in the past few days.

The chocolate eyes glided down from the white tuft to the serene face, their final destination the slightly parted lips. Was there anything else he had done unknowingly that had inflicted the captain in some way? Most likely there was. He knew what he had to do once he had coaxed everything out of Toushiro; his friends were going to be the next to be interrogated.

A soft groan with a little turn snapped his attention back to the weight resting on him and Ichigo quickly rubbed the small of the back, sending his lover back to the dreamland. The minute crease in the forehead smoothed out as if the callused palm was massaging there instead of the back and when he was sure the captain was back to the deep lightless abyss, Ichigo chastely pressed his lips on the temple and whispered, the murmured words almost inaudible.

"I'm sorry… and thank you."

And I love you.

But he would say those words later when he would get to see the porcelain cheeks lighting up, the emeralds glaring but unable to hide the streak of shy happiness.

He owed his lover at least that much and the three words were too precious to be wasted on deaf ears.

I told you I don't know what I'm on about… orz