tumblr meme response - "You know, it's okay to cry."

Tag to 6x03, 'Praesidium'

"You know, it's okay to cry…" Deeks trails off as he finally says out loud the thing he's wanted to tell her since they were in the boatshed earlier.

"Hmm?" Kensi doesn't lift her head but Deeks feels her body tense ever so slightly at his statement and he's sure she knows what he's talking about.

They're sitting on Kensi's couch watching television, but not really watching it. Kensi is tucked into his side, her head resting on his shoulder while his arm is wrapped loosely around her waist. Neither one of them has any clue as to the exact status of their relationship that isn't officially a relationship, but they're spending more and more of their nights after work cuddled up on one of their couches, sharing dinner and falling asleep in a jumble of limbs and bodies and pillows.

"Earlier," he elaborates, "you said you were tougher than this. And you are, Kens, you're one of the toughest people I've ever known. But you don't have to be over what happened. Being tough doesn't mean you can't cry – that you can't feel pain and hurt and sadness."

He pauses to press a light kiss to her hair and he feels her nod against his chest.

"I know," she whispers so quietly he almost doesn't hear her.

"The struggles, the experiences that leave you feeling vulnerable," Deeks tightens his grip on her body, "they just make your strength that much more amazing."

Not trusting herself to say anything, Kensi nestles further into his side and lets out a shaky breath. She's been facing the world, more or less alone, since she was fifteen years old and even though she's had her partner for four years now, she's still getting used to the idea that there is someone she trusts as deeply as she trusts him and whose support of her is unwavering.

She lifts her head to look at him and the understanding she sees in his eyes sends a rush of warmth through her body. She can't work up the courage to say it, but she doesn't know what she'd do without him. Giving him a tiny smile, she puts her head back on his shoulder and relaxes into his embrace.

Someday, she thinks.

Someday she'll tell him what he means to her.

Someday they'll figure out this thing of theirs.

Kensi's eyes drift closed as she feels Deeks press another kiss to her head and in her sleepy state, she's not sure if she imagines the reassurances he whispers into her hair, "I've got you, Kens. I've always got you."

Hopefully someday will come soon.