Author's Note: I don't own Glee or Dead Like Me.

Chapter 25

Things with Declan were awkward for several days after Kurt kissed him. They tried talking about it the next morning, but didn't really get anywhere. Kurt was too embarrassed and self-conscious about the whole thing and Declan was paranoid about both Kurt's intentions and his own.

He definitely enjoyed kissing Declan, and Declan hardly needed to admit that he enjoyed kissing Kurt back. But was it the right thing to do? Was it smart to get involved with Declan? Sure, it wasn't like Kurt could get back together with Blaine, and his circle of friends was pretty much limited to the other reapers. He could try to make other friends among the living, but the amount of lying that would have to go into creating a new identity exhausted Kurt just thinking about it. So adding all that up, it sure seemed like a good idea to fall for Declan.

Declan, in his mind, wasn't so sure. Of course he had feelings for Kurt, he'd made that fairly obvious from the start. There was something about the boy, the way he carried himself, the way clung to Declan, the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed…Declan could make a list a mile long, and they'd only known each other for several weeks. Kurt was so young and so new at this, who knew what he was going to want in five, ten or twenty years? It wouldn't be like if he was alive, he wouldn't age, he would have to do the same thing day in and day out, and just because a reaper has the physical ability to do all these things, it didn't mean that the lifestyle didn't take a psychological toll. Kurt was acclimating relatively well to being a reaper, but who knew what the future held?

The bottom line was that Kurt scared the shit out of Declan. He was terrified of falling for him and losing him. He'd been hurt in the past and he didn't want to go through it again. The first time had been way too painful.

Eventually though, just from the sheer passage of time, the air became less tense, less awkward, between the two. They began laughing and smiling at each other, sitting next to each other at Maggie's. Declan even began coming to sit with Kurt on his lunch breaks at the coffee shop. They still hadn't really talked about what happened, but there seemed to be an understanding that if or when they found themselves in a similar situation again, they'd talk about it first before taking any action. For right then, they were comfortable just being friends. Best friends.

A week had passed since Blaine had come in to The Lima Bean and asked Kurt to sit down with him and Kurt hadn't seen him in there since. It took everything within him not to ask Natalie if she'd seen him on the days Kurt wasn't working. It was for the best that Blaine was apparently avoiding him, Kurt reassured himself over and over again. It was easier for him and it didn't put him in the awkward position of having to make more excuses for why he couldn't even talk to him.

That wasn't entirely true though. Kurt could talk to Blaine, without losing all of his good memories of their relationship together. He'd asked Sue about it, hypothetically of course, and she'd explained that if a reaper has contact with someone from their past life, they would only lose the memories that they spoke about or called to mind when in the presence of that person. So really, Kurt could even try to be friends with Blaine again, but he didn't trust himself to be able to look into Blaine's deep gold eyes and not lose everything he cherished about the boy. He'd cried more than once about it, talking himself in and out of experimenting with a friendship with Blaine, but in the end he decided it would just be harmful to both of them. Harmful to Kurt if he started losing those memories and harmful to Blaine (obviously felt some connection to Trevor), if he suddenly dropped out of his life with no explanation.

While Kurt was relieved that he didn't have to deal with the situation of Blaine coming in to the coffee shop and trying to talk to him, he was worried about him. Finally, he broke down and confronted Natalie about it.

"Hey Nat, can I talk to you about something?" He approached her during the after lunch lull. Natalie looked up with concern.

"Of course, sweetie," she answered, adjusting her apron and leaning against the register.

"Have you seen, um…" for some reason, the words were catching in his throat and his nerves were causing his heart to pound. "Have you seen Blaine since…since that day last week?" He knew she would understand when he was talking about.

She thought for a moment. "Actually no, now that you mention it, I haven't seen him since then."

"What about on Saturday?" He asked with slight surprise. Blaine never missed coming to the coffee shop on Saturday mornings. Kurt had the day off, so he'd just assumed Blaine had been in, even though he hadn't seen him before or since.

"No," she answered plainly. Kurt could tell that the realization had made her a bit nervous too.

"Do you mind me asking," Kurt continued after a slight pause. "What did you say to him when you went to talk to him last week after I sat down with him?"

Natalie sighed, and Kurt wasn't sure if it was because she was reluctant to answer or if she was trying to recall her exact words. When she finally answered, Kurt knew it was the latter.

"Well, I asked him if he was okay and if he needed anything," She started, her eyes cast toward the ceiling as if trying to remember. "He just shook his head yes to the first question and no to the second. Then I told him that he should probably go home and get some sleep because he looked exhausted. I think I embarrassed him though, when I said that, because his face got all red and he looked kind of flustered. He told me thanks and then he left, and I haven't seen him since." Natalie returned her gaze to Kurt, who was starting to look a little green around the gills.

"Trevor," she spoke softly when it became apparent that the other boy wasn't going to respond. "I know that it's none of my business and I've already inserted myself into this situation way too many times, but I'm worried about both of you. What in the world is going on?"

It was Kurt's turn to sigh and choose his words carefully. "It's complicated," he answered honestly. "And I can't really explain it to where it would make sense. To put it simply, I care about Blaine, but I can't pursue any kind of relationship or friendship with him because it would be detrimental to both of us. I know that probably only confuses you more, but that's all I can offer by way of explanation."

Natalie simply nodded and Kurt was comforted greatly by the fact that her eyes seemed to communicate that she understood, or at least understood enough to not pursue it any farther.

"All that being said, I'm still worried that he hasn't been in here," Kurt continued. "I mean, on the one hand, I don't want to run into him, but I want to know that he's okay, you know?"

"Yeah, I get that," she replied. "Tell you what—I have your cell phone number and the minute I see him in here, if you're not on shift, I'll let you know, okay?"

"That would be fantastic," Kurt answered with a great deal of gratitude. Natalie was good people, no doubt. "And on that note, it's time for me to leave." Kurt gave her a hug and headed back to the kitchen to punch his time card. It was four thirty and Kurt had to be at Maggie's by five. Declan told him that morning that he would come by to get Kurt so they could walk over together and sure enough, when Kurt came back out of the kitchen, Declan was leaned up against the glass window outside. Kurt smiled to himself. Every time he saw Declan lately, his heart gave a tiny leap. He tried his best to suppress any thoughts or feelings about Declan since the incident the week before, but he couldn't help but recognize how being around Declan made him feel.

"Hey Dec," he greeted as he exited the coffee shop. Declan, who'd been sporting his trademark faraway look broke out into a large grin when he turned his head to see Kurt.

"Hey Kurt," he answered as the two fell into step with each other, walking in the direction of Maggie's. "How was work?"

"Pretty good," Kurt answered. He decided against saying anything to Declan about his conversation with Natalie about Blaine. It's not like he'd seen or heard from Blaine, so what was the point? "My feet hurt a bit, but other than that…" He trailed off, looking down at his shoes and wincing. He really needed to invest in some good work shoes.

"Well you have the day off tomorrow, right?" Declan waited for Kurt's nod. "Why don't you see if Annabel will go shopping with you to find a new pair of shoes?"

"Declan!" Kurt answered with mock hurt. "I'm devastated that you didn't suggest that the two of us go shopping together."

Declan rolled his eyes and punched Kurt in the arm lightly. He liked Kurt, but shopping with him was not high on his wish list.

"Well I guess I'll just have to solicit Annabel's company," Kurt said, his face turning red when he realized what he'd just said. "Not solicit like that, I meant like, her services and oh my God stop talking Kurt." He rambled and Declan let him, loving every second of watching Kurt become more and more flustered.

Thankfully, before too much longer, the two of them reached Maggie's, Declan holding the door open for Kurt, who bowed graciously before entering. Kurt was sure that they looked like a couple of idiots to the strangers inside, but he didn't care. Declan put him in such a good mood that he'd almost forgotten all about the situation with Blaine.

They were the first to arrive at their usual booth, but they were joined by the others before too long. They ordered their food and chatted as they waited for it to arrive. Annabel went on in great detail about a particularly odd reap she'd had earlier in the day and Laura vented about her boss at the post office.

By the time they'd finished, Sue was pulling out her day planner for the second time that day. Kurt looked at her in confusion.

"Didn't we already get our assignments for today?" He asked, which was a stupid, obvious question, since he'd had to take off in the middle of his shift to go reap the soul of a man who jumped off the Moore's Highway bridge. It had been hard for Kurt not to try to talk the guy out of it, but he'd been warned of the consequences of interfering with fate and for once in his afterlife, he hadn't tried to fight that.

"Well, Porcelain, sometimes we get a late addition," Sue explained, copying down the information onto a sticky note. "And just to drive that lesson home, I'll let you take care of this one." Kurt grimaced slightly and shot a sideways glance toward Declan, who shrugged his shoulders and offered a sympathetic look.

Kurt took the note from Sue and began reading with a feeling of dread that quickly turned into one of fear and panic. One that he tried his best to conceal from the rest of the table. One that he successfully hid from everyone but Declan. Trying not to arouse suspicion, Declan casually reached over and plucked the note from Kurt's visibly shaky grasp and read.

B. Anderson

12 Watters Bend Road

9:37pm