My work schedule is all weird lately, so chapters may come midweek for a little bit instead of on the weekend, but as always I can never make promises, lol. And some of you may be frustrated with Angela in this chapter, but remember that she's also working through her own family and parental issues. Girl's got a lot on her plate.
This chapter is definitely longer than the last one (which felt longer when I had outlined and wrote it) and is actually 2-3 chapters that I rewrote/broke down into one chapter just to help move the story along. As always, I appreciate every review. :-)
Angela lay in her bed later that night and stared at the ceiling. Pregnant. It was one thing to suspect it and quite another to have four positive tests staring you in the face. She felt numb. What did she know about being pregnant, about taking care of a child? She didn't exactly have the best role models. Joyce deserted her in that airport at ten and her dad...well her dad did an okay job until a few years ago, but even in the best of times he was in and out of her life due to his military career. How could she be expected to be a parent with no reliable examples to follow? What kind of mother would she be?
Money wasn't an issue, between work and her savings she knew she would be able to support a child, but Angela knew a kid didn't just need money. They needed love and family and emotional support. That was where Eric would have to come in, because while she knew she could love this baby, she had no dependable family to fall back on to provide support. She'd been using Eric's family as a substitute for her own since before they even got together.
Eric. There is no doubt in Angela's mind that he is going to be a wonderful father. For as long as she's known him, he's always been able to relate to kids, to connect with them on their level and she knew he'd be amazing with his own child. How was he going to react when she told him? She knew, like Rachel said, that he wouldn't leave, but what then? Would he propose? That possibility scared Angela more than him walking out. They haven't been together that long, officially they've been dating a little less than a month. She didn't know why it was important to her to count from the day they officially decided to be together. If she did like Eric did and counted all the time before that, it still wasn't that long, but it was longer than a month. They were still learning how to function together as a couple, still getting to know each other, were they going to be able to dive right in and be a family? Hell, she ended things with Remy over a year ago because he wanted a family- marriage and children- and she was not ready to commit to those things.
Another hour passed and she was no closer to sleep than before. Her mind would not shut off. Angela tossed and turned, but no position felt comfortable. Her bed felt big and empty and alone.
/
Eric is going through the channels on the TV, ultimately settling on a movie he has seen dozens of times. The one downside of his schedule was he got out of work when most people were either getting into bed or already sound asleep. He had called Angela when he got out, just to check in, but she didn't answer so he figured she was sleeping. She had been acting weird the past few days, ever since she moved into her apartment. Eric didn't know if it was because he suggested she spend the first week alone in her apartment just to get used to it. He hoped she wasn't regretting making Philadelphia permanent. He knew they hadn't been together that long, but he didn't know what he would do if Angela decided to leave town. He hoped this weirdness was just an adjustment period for her. Maybe taking her out on a date this weekend would help. He thought about having their date in first, where he made her dinner, but almost all of their dates had been at home so far, he owed her a nice night out. Eric hated that it would have to wait until this weekend. That was another downside to his schedule- all dates had to be either before 2pm or on the weekend.
Just as he was getting sucked into the movie and lost in the world of Marty McFly and Doc Brown in the 1880's, he was startled by loud, rapid knocking. He jumped up and went toward the door, figuring it was one of the guyswho lived below him. They often came home drunk and got apartments mixed up, knocking when their keys wouldn't work. He checked the peephole and was surprised to see Angela on the other side. Eric made quick work of the locks and opened the door. She stared at him for a few seconds before flinging herself into his arms. She looked like she had been crying.
"Angela, what happened?" He wrapped one arm around her while closing and relocking the door with the other. "Is something wrong?"
"Can I sleep here tonight," she asked in a small voice.
"Of course, you don't even have to ask." He led her over to the couch. "What happened? Is something wrong with the apartment?"
She took off her coat. "No."
"Did you have another dream about Joyce?"
"Um...sure...something family related," she managed to stutter out. Angela couldn't make herself say it out loud quite yet. She would tell him in the morning. Right now she just wanted to fall asleep in Eric's arms and pretend for one more night that everything was normal and that the rest of their lives weren't about to change forever.
"I'm going to sleep," she said abruptly and went toward the bedroom.
"Okay," Eric replied, confused. "I'll be there in a few minutes."
Angela walked into the bedroom and found Thor curled up in the middle of the bed. He barely raised his head to acknowledge her, only letting out an annoyed grumble when she turned the lamp on. She thought about picking him up to move him or pushing him over a bit, but she was still trying to get him to like her. Angela shook her head and laughed to herself. She had never before put so much thought into an animal's opinion. Eric said he would come around eventually. She got into bed, sure to leave more than enough room for Thor.
Meanwhile, Eric was cleaning up the mess he had made from his late dinner. He knew if he didn't do it now, he wouldn't feel like taking care of it in the morning. After everything was put away he walked through the apartment, making sure all the lights were turned off and everything was locked.
"Eric," he heard Angela call for him from the bedroom. "Eric, come here."
He walked to his room and stood in the doorway, laughing at what he saw. "I told you he would come around."
Angela was sitting perfectly still, afraid to move a muscle. Thor was standing on her legs and rubbing his head and face into her stomach. "What is he doing?" How had the cat gone from being leery of her to being all in her lap?
"Honestly? He's partly showing affection, but he's mostly marking his territory. You're his human now," he chuckled.
"What? Last week he wouldn't go near me, this week, I'm his? What's changed that would make him like me?" 'Could cats sense pregnancy,' she wondered.
"Animals are weird," Eric shrugged as he got into bed. "Let's just be glad he likes you now." He saw that Angela hadn't moved. "It's okay to pet him, you know." She tentatively reached a hand out to touch him. "He's not a time bomb."
"Give me some time." She continued to cautiously pet Thor's back. "I haven't spent a lot of time around animals, remember?" She wanted him to like her, but this was sudden.
He could tell she'd had enough of the cat for one night. "Okay, come here, buddy," he picked up Thor and set him down on the floor. "There, that should buy us twenty minutes," he laughed. "Of course, now you may be the one he dive bombs in the middle of the night."
"Fun." She curled up against Eric and laid her head on his chest. "You're sure you don't mind if I sleep here tonight?"
He rubbed her back. "Like I said, you never have to ask." He hesitated before saying anything else. "It must've been a pretty freaky dream to scare you out of your apartment, though."
"Yeah, I'm definitely freaked out." She snuggled even closer to him. "Can we talk about it in the morning? I want to try to sleep now."
"Sure, whatever you want."
/
The next morning Eric found Angela eating breakfast while talking on her phone.
"We could remove Eric from this list, couldn't we?"
His head popped up from the fridge where he was getting the orange juice. He hadn't been paying attention to her call, but why was she talking about him? And what was this list?
"Oh, no, I don't think that would work. We couldn't skip him," Angela asked, then chuckled at the response she received. "No, no I understand. Let's just leave the list as is and I'll figure something out, thanks, Sandra. Bye."
"What list?"
"Ah!" Angela jumped. She hadn't seen Eric come into the room. "You scared the hell out of me," she hit his arm.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to. Now, what is this list?"
"It's for an article the paper wants me to write."
"Ah, most wonderful boyfriends," he smiled.
"Not exactly," she chuckled. "For Valentine's Day, they want me to profile the ten most eligible bachelors of Philadelphia."
"I'm on there?"
"You're number four."
"Number four," he frowned.
"Yeah."
"Who's number one? Not to sound egotistical, but I am a pretty popular guy," he joked.
"Wait a minute...you're unhappy about not being number one? I didn't think you'd want to be on the list at all, considering we're dating," she glared at him. "You know what, maybe I'll make you look really good and you can find someone better." She tried to walk away but he grabbed her arm before she could get far. "Let go of me."
Okay, clearly Angela had missed the fact that he was kidding around. "I was just joking, Angela. I mean, if you are going to be on any list like that naturally you want to be number one, but that's a purely competitive thing… for me, anyway. I don't want anyone else but you."
"Really?"
"You doubted that?"
"No," she sighed, rubbing her forehead, "I'm sorry. It's just, this is complicated."
"You can take me off the list." He kissed her, hoping to give her the reassurance she seemed to need at the moment. "How did I make it on there if we're dating anyway?"
"They didn't know we were dating until I told them. A couple of the other guys on the list have girlfriends but according to the newspaper, if you're not married you're eligible."
Eric made a face. "That's an interesting message to send."
"I know. You could be taken off the list, but if you are, one of the honorable mentions gets moved up and I don't think you'll like their next option to move up."
"Who?"
"Vince."
His face darkened. "You'd have to interview him?"
"Not exactly just an interview." She grabbed his hand. "The way this story works is I go out on a mock date with each of the bachelors accompanied by a photographer from the paper. I interview them and review our date while finding out their likes and dislikes."
"You'd have to go on dates with other guys?"
His history with Hollie popped into Angela's head. "Oh, god. You know what, I'll call Sandra and tell her to give the story to someone else."
"What, why? I don't want you to give up a story because of me. I'm not going to interfere with your career. Why would you give the story up?"
"It occurred to me that it might be a little too close to Hollie and Vince."
"No," Eric insisted, squeezing her hand. "Am I thrilled with the idea of you going on "dates" with nine other guys? No, but I trust you and I'm not going to tell you what to do or what stories to take."
"Nine guys? Does this mean you're still on the list?"
"I trust you, but I would not be able to handle you on a date with Vince, even knowing it's fake." He was tensing up with every word. "I just know he would try something. And I would be hiding at the next table, waiting to pound the crap out of him when he did."
"You know that would just get you arrested again," Angela smiled, touching the side of his face.
"It would be worth it."
"I can't decide if that's incredibly sweet or incredibly stupid." She wrapped her arms around him and laid her head on his chest. "What am I going to do about this article? I have to make you look good yet not too appealing to other women or I'm going to be the one who beats someone up and ends up in jail."
"Really," he raised an eyebrow.
"Get that look off your face. I wasn't aware the paper is filled with the Eric Matthews' fan club. Once they found out we were dating, all they wanted to talk about was you and what it was like to date you."
"There's no official fan club," he grinned, "but it's nice to know you'll fight for me."
"Fighting for you isn't the issue, apparently it's fighting them off." Angela wrapped her arms around Eric's neck and stared up at him.
His arms automatically went around her waist. "You're a good writer, I'm sure you'll think of something for the article."
"I was thinking something like: Eric Matthews: Mine. Hands Off." Eric made a catcall noise. "What? Too much," she laughed
"No," he shook his head, "it's just possessive enough. Short of tattooing 'Property of Angela' on my forehead, I think it gets the point across," he teased.
"Shut up," she laughed, standing up on her toes to kiss him.
"Hey, I'm not complaining," he murmured against her lips. "Is this really what was bothering you last night? We could've talked about it then."
Angela sighed and pulled away slightly. She had gotten so caught up in joking around and laughing about her story she forgot the real reason she came over here in the first place. How could she forget? "No, this isn't what was bothering me."
Eric could sense her mood change. "Oh, come on, I didn't mean to bring you down again. Let's go back to happy Angela. I'm sorry."
"No, there's nothing to be sorry for, but there is something we really do need to talk about."
"Okay, what is it?"
"Let's go sit in the living room. This isn't a stand in the kitchen kind of conversation."
"You're making me a little nervous," he admitted. He thought it would be something to do with her dreams regarding Joyce, but why would they need to sit down for that?
"I'm not trying to." Eric's cell phone began to ring. He made no move to answer it. "Aren't you going to get that," Angela asked.
"They can call back."
"At least check. What if it's the station? You're still serving an on-air suspension from the fight. You don't want to give them a reason to get mad at you."
"Fine." He checked the Caller ID. "It is the station," he sighed. "Hello? Yeah. No, I wasn't watching, why, what happened? Are you serious? Is she going to be okay? Well, I can but I'm not supposed to be on the air yet," he glanced at Angela who was watching him curiously. "Ted okayed it. Right now? I'm sort of in the middle of something. No one else can come in to go on?"
"We can talk later," Angela whispered.
"I'll be there in less than an hour. Yeah." He set the phone down. "Are you sure this can wait? It seems serious."
"Trust me, it's not going anywhere. What happened at work?"
Eric walked to his bedroom to get dressed. "Did you meet Tonya at the Christmas Party?"
"I think so."
"She does the weather for the morning and midday broadcasts. Apparently, they had her taking part in a demonstration for a new dance craze that is getting popular and at the very least she severely sprained her ankle."
"What do dance routines have to do with the weather," Angela asked, confused.
"The morning news is three hours long, they throw in random stuff sometimes to try to make it fun and the weather and traffic people are the ones who cover it. It's why I don't miss doing morning news."
"And you need to go in because..."
"The only people in the weather studio right now are interns. They can't get anyone else to come in to go on the air at eleven."
"Well, I'll go and let you finish getting ready."
Eric grabbed hold of her hand. "You're sure? Because if you really need to talk to me, I'll tell them it will be a little longer or to try again to get someone else."
Angela kissed him and smiled. "I'm sure. Like I said, what we have to talk about will still be there to talk about whenever we get around to it."
"You see, when you phrase it like that, you really make me nervous."
"I'll let myself out. I'll be watching you today, so you better be accurate," she winked.
/
Angela didn't talk to Eric later that day. He pulled double duty and got out of work at his usual time and was so exhausted he went straight home and fell asleep. He ended up having to pull double duty at the station the rest of the week- be on the air in the mornings and behind the scenes in the evenings-making it difficult for them to see each other. The longer she went without telling him, the more nervous she got. She thought Eric would be upset with her for not saying anything about her suspicions from the very beginning. Then Angela was afraid that all of the pregnancy tests were malfunctioning and she wasn't pregnant at all, that telling Eric would just put unnecessary stress on him. Between him working, her working, and her freaking out, it was Friday morning and before she knew it she was sitting alone in the doctor's office.
"Well," Dr. Ramirez began as she entered the exam room, Angela's chart in hand, "it looks like your suspicions were correct. You're pregnant."
"I...what?" She covered her eyes. "I need to sit down." The pregnancy tests weren't wrong. Deep down Angela knew they couldn't be, but everything was happening so fast.
"You are sitting down," the doctor gently reminded her. It wasn't the first time she's seen this reaction from a patient, heck it wasn't even the first time she's had this reaction today.
"I need to lie down. Does this thing go back farther?" The doctor reclined the exam table slightly. "Thanks." Angela took a deep breath. "How far along am I?"
"I won't know for sure until I examine you and do an ultrasound." She glanced over Angela's chart. "I do have a few questions about your chart since you have some family history missing."
"I'm not close to my family," Angela jumped in, "that may be as good as it gets. I haven't decided if I'm telling them about the pregnancy."
"Okay," the doctor nodded. "You indicated that your mother had a premature birth. Do you know what triggered it?"
She flinched at the doctor's use of the word mother. "I don't know why I was a preemie. Why, does it matter?"
"It's good to know if there was known cause."
"All I know is I was seven weeks early."
"All right, we can work with that. If you find anything else out or remember anything, let us know. What about the father's family history, the father of the baby, I mean?"
Angela looked to the side. "I haven't told him yet. I'm telling him soon. You'll have all the information you'll need then."
"Okay."
"So," Angela asked a few minutes later as the doctor finished her examination, "everything seems okay? I mean, I'm healthy? It's healthy...the baby's healthy?"
"Everything appears healthy, yes. I'm going to do an ultrasound just to try to more accurately determine how far along you are."
"Try?"
Dr. Ramirez smiled. "It's not an exact science. You could be measuring slightly larger than normal or slightly smaller than normal. This is just to give us an estimated date. Really, full term babies can come anywhere from two weeks before to two weeks after their due date."
Angela nodded and closed her eyes as the nurse helped the doctor prep things. An ultrasound, she hadn't expected to actually see anything today. She wished Eric was here. Why hadn't she found the words to tell him? She could've gone over to his apartment again at 3AM or shown up at the studio, or called him from the doctor's office and he would've dropped everything in an instant. He should be here, holding her hand, waiting to see the first images of their baby.
"Are you ready? It might be a little early, but we might be able to see the heartbeat on the monitor. If we can see it, we might be able to hear it. We can try that, too."
"The heartbeat," Angela whispered. This was happening so fast.
"Here we go."
"Wait," she said, trying to sit up," wait a minute."
"Is something wrong?"
"Do I have to look right now?"
"Well..."
"Because, I think I made a huge mistake not telling my boyfriend right away. I just," she blinked back tears, "this is big. I got scared, you know?" Dr. Ramirez nodded. "He's already going to be mad enough that I didn't tell him, but maybe if I save the ultrasound and the heartbeat for us to experience together, that will take some of the sting out." Angela was in full blown tears by now. She accepted some tissues from the nurse.
"We don't have to do the ultrasound today," she patted Angela's arm.
"No, I want to know that everything is healthy and I really want to know when I'm due, but I don't want to look until Eric can look with me."
Dr. Ramirez looked at her nurse. This was a first for them both. "I think that would be all right."
"Can you bring me my purse," Angela asked the nurse. "Thank you." She pulled out her headphones. "In case you are able to hear anything, I don't want to without Eric. Just tell when you're done." She chose the loudest music she could find. It was music from a rock station Eric had added, telling her she needed to expand her musical tastes beyond classical and R&B.
Angela prayed that Eric would know that she didn't keep this from him on purpose. She just got freaked out and scared. When she got home she would call him and tell him to come to her place after he got out of work and she wouldn't take no for an answer.
After what felt like an eternity the nurse was tapping Angela's arm. "You're all done."
"And," Angela asked with a mix of anticipation and fear.
"Everything looks good. I'd say you're about eight weeks along and..."
"Eight weeks? But..."
"Remember to count from your last period."
"Right. When I am I due?"
"The last week of August, August 26th."
"I'm going to have a baby by the end of the summer?"
"That's one way to put it."
"Wow."
"Did you have any more questions in particular you wanted to ask? I know this is all so overwhelming, so if you think of something later, you can always call the office."
"My mind is a jumble at the moment," she admitted.
"That's not uncommon," the doctor laughed. "We'll leave you to get dressed and then you can make your next appointment at the front desk. I'd like to see you within the next few weeks. We can do another ultrasound and hear the heartbeat. I look forward to meeting your boyfriend."
"If he's not too mad at me," Angela mumbled.
"I'm sure he'll understand.
/
She was eight weeks pregnant and due in August. Angela tried to remember everything else the doctor said but at the moment the appointment was one big blur. Those two things were standing out, along with the fact that both she and the baby were healthy. That would be important to mention to Eric. Why hadn't she told him? Why did she keep letting chances slip away, keep letting them get interrupted? She would call him the second she got upstairs and tell him to come over after work and tell him tonight. No excuses, no distractions.
'God, he's going to hate me,' she thought to herself as she got into the elevator. She smiled politely at the couple already inside. The woman was pregnant and the man was holding a sleeping toddler.
"Hi, you're new in the building, aren't you," the woman asked.
"Yes, I moved in last weekend." Angela extended her hand. "I'm Angela." She had yet to meet any of her neighbors beyond polite smiles. Most people kept to themselves.
"I'm Grace," she smiled, returning the handshake. "This is my husband, Sergio, and the sleepyhead is our daughter, Clara."
"I'd shake your hand, but," Sergio nodded toward his sleeping daughter.
"That's okay."
"So, which floor do you live on?"
"11...um, 11 G." Angela knew it was rude, but she couldn't stop staring at Grace's stomach. It looked like she had stuffed a beach ball in there. She couldn't believe that in a few months she would be that big.
"Oh, we're practically right below you. We're in 10 F. Don't worry about the person who lives below you. He's an old man who's hard of hearing and refuses to get a hearing aid. It takes a lot of noise to disturb him." She notices Angela staring. "Is something wrong?"
"What? No, I'm sorry. Old man below me, hard of hearing, I got it," she stammered.
"You just found out you're pregnant, didn't you?"
"How did you know," Angela asked, dumbfounded.
"Well, for one, you look shell-shocked. Two," she pointed down, "the brochures sticking out of your purse are a dead giveaway."
"Oh," she shoved everything down into her purse and zipped it up. "I'm sorry, it's been a very long day, a long week actually. Very overwhelming."
"Trust me, I understand. And we're crazy enough to be doing it again less than three years later," she laughed, patting her belly.
"Wow," Angela squeaked out.
"Yeah." The elevator dinged, indicating it had reached the tenth floor. Grace dug in her purse. "Here is my card. My cell number is on there. Give me a call if you want to talk about any pregnancy or baby stuff."
"Really?"
"Sure, it'll be fun to have a baby buddy in the building. I'll see you around."
"Bye." Angela tucked the card into her pocket. It might be nice to have someone around to talk to about all of this, and Grace seemed very nice. In no time at all Angela was on her floor. As she rounded the corner to her apartment she stopped in her tracks, surprised to see Morgan sitting in the hallway reading. "Morgan, what are you doing here?"
"Oh, Angela, finally," the teen jumped to her feet. "I need to talk to you."
Angela sighed. She wasn't in the mood for Morgan and her drama today. "Is there any way it could wait? I've had a long day." She entered her apartment with Morgan hot on her heels. She was very grateful she had put the pregnancy brochures fully into her purse. She wouldn't want Morgan to find out before Eric.
"Please, it's really important."
She wanted to tell Morgan to come back tomorrow or Sunday, that she needed tonight to herself, but she took one look at the girl and could tell this was big. Morgan was a ball of nervous energy, bouncing around, unable to stay still. "Just give me a few minutes to change. Put some coffee on for me and heat up some Pop Tarts, I don't care what flavor." Yes, Dr. Ramirez said to cut back on coffee, but she would do that gradually.
"Coffee and Pop Tarts at 3:30 in the afternoon," Morgan frowned.
"Do I criticize your food choices? If you want to talk, just do it, please."
A few minutes later Angela was comfortable in pajamas and ready for whatever teenage dilemma Morgan had to throw her way. The coffee wasn't ready yet, so she took her Pop Tarts and went to the couch where Morgan was already waiting.
"You could've made yourself something if you're hungry," she said, taking a bite.
"No, that's okay. I'm too nervous to eat."
Angela eyed her cautiously. "Okay, that doesn't make feel better, Morgan. Whatever dumb thing you've done or gotten involved in, just come clean now. Trust me, it'll be easier than when you get caught."
"I haven't done anything, well...not yet." She stared at her hands.
"What exactly does that mean?" The girl said nothing. "Morgan, I can't help you if you just sit there."
"See, Brian and I have been talking and...and well...you see," she sighed," how did you decide you were ready for sex?"
Angela's plate fell to her lap. She laid her head against the back of the couch wishing someone from Candid Camera, or Punk'd, or some other TV show would pop up telling her this was all a joke. How could she be expected to deal with this now? Was the universe just toying with her?