Disclaimer: I do not own the Divergent books, movie franchise or any of the characters from it. I do, however, own the plot and characters you don't recognize.

AN: I just want to give a big THANK YOU to everyone who has stuck by me with my crazy story! I'm so happy that Red has passed the 100 review mark. Thank you, thank you, thank you all so much! I'm glad you all are enjoying this fanfiction and that I'm doing Eric justice. :D

"… Petra-Lynn…"

"… Petra…"

"… Spinner…"

Darkness inhabits her surroundings and she feels herself pulled in all sorts of directions; everywhere and nowhere at once.

"Who are you?"

She fights the invisible hands digging into her flesh. They pierce her with dread and heartache, seeping deep into her bones. "I don't know!" She screams, thrashing as more talons latch into her. "Let go of me! Please, get off me!"

"Eventually, you must choose…"

I like to think of myself as broken fragments. Pieces of Spinner's old-self, her brother, her mother, and her father melded into one. I am the embodiment of her emotions. Her transgressions, her hurt, her guilt, and her shame.

Spinner calls me her positive-self, the reflection of the person she was supposed to be.

The sane part of herself.

Petra-Lynn Sandborn.

The name she buried in the graveyard of her past.

Until I came along.

Now I am Petra, and I haven't left her since.

Spinner surfs to full wakefulness on a surge of adrenaline that has her bolting upright. She keeps her eyes closed and seeks to quieten the relentless hammering in her chest. Rubbing her sweaty palms on her thighs, she opens her eyes then gazes about the empty bedroom.

She's been here for three days now, avoiding work, meals, and all of her friends. But her privacy was respected and she was left alone, Lauren and Max made sure of it.

Not even Eric was allowed near her.

Spinner falls back against the pillows, stretching an arm high above her head. The strings of her bracelet sway from the gentle breeze coming in from the window. And she stares at it with blank, tired eyes.

They left Jude's body by the train tracks that night. The next morning it was discovered by two fence guards on duty. The announcement was made, the initiates wept, and the funeral was had. Spinner refused to make an appearance to any of it. Morally, it wouldn't have been right.

So she takes this hollow, achy feeling in her chest and the grief settling in like lead as her punishment.

"I'm surprised you haven't left, Petra." Her voice is raspy and she clears her throat a few times to loosen the roughness. "I thought you would've been disgusted with me by now."

'I don't judge, remember? I'm here as a positive reinforcement. You're past, present, and future belongs to you and you only. And that means all the actions that come with it.'

A few beats of silence passes between us and Spinner rolls onto her stomach. "I guess…" She shrugs, staring at her long green-painted fingernails. "I just… I know you didn't sign up for this shit. Heh, remember how you'd always said that I should've been the personality and you the, y'know, in-control one?"

'I promised I would never leave you, not like them. As long as you need me, I will always be here. Now, it's time to get up. It's Visiting Day.'

A corner of her mouth kicks up in a half-smile. "Yeah, yeah, I know..." She releases a long sigh before pushing herself up into a sitting position. Lauren bounds into the bedroom, stopping by the side of her bed with her hands on her hips. She looks down at her pointedly and Spinner groans. "I'm up, I'm up..."

Lauren drops her stance and rolls her eyes, shaking her head with a smile small. "You really need to stop scaring me like that," she drops down on the mattress. "I kept thinking it was my fault. If I wasn't such a coward-"

Spinner holds up a hand to silence her. "Alright, I'm gonna stop you right there." She says before her eyes soften. "I chose to shoulder that burden for you. All I needed was some time to regroup. That's all. I'm fine now."

Lauren regards her for a few pensive moments until she lets out a sigh. "You better not be lying to me, Spin."

"Who me, Sweets?" Spinner clasps her hands together and flutters her eyelashes at her friend in an innocent display. "I don't ever lie."

Lauren rolls her eyes and gives her sisterly shove. "Get ready, Trouble. Your cousin's waiting in the Pit."

As Spinner's climbing out of bed, she freezes once her feet touch the floor. She pivots slightly to shoot Lauren a bewildered look. "Cousin? Wait, I thought Visiting Day was only for the initiates?"

"I guess Max made an exception for you, considering your… circumstance." Lauren finishes hesitantly, uncomfortable with bringing up her past.

Spinner nods in a way of understanding and that she isn't bothered by the subject. "It's cool, Sweets. So, uh, can you tell me what my… cousin looks like? I'm kinda drawing a blank here. I mean, it's been so long."

It can't be…

"She's a little shorter than you. Blond hair, blue eyes… ringing any bells?"

Well, apparently it can.

Alarm bells are definitely ringing.

Clusters of families stand on the Pit floor. Spinner weaves around the tearful reunions and laughter, scanning the crowd for her face. Then she sees her, standing alone near the railing in pristine Candor attire. The more Spinner stares at her, the more confused she becomes. Venus looks… clean. Her blond hair is shiny and pleated in a long braid that rests over her shoulder. She remembers when it used to be tangled in knots, and how the color dulled from all the dirt and grime.

Just like how her hair used to be, until Jeanine had her long, fiery locks buzzed short. To start anew, she'd told her as Jennifer took the electric shaver to her head. And Spinner agreed, accepting a past she believed she would never know again.

She hasn't had long hair since.

Their eyes meet and Venus's expression outshines the brightest star in the sky. "Spinning Top," she runs towards her, embracing her tightly. She smells like the rainforest soap these group of Stiffs use to give them, and laundry detergent. Venus pulls back and gives her a vibrant onceover. "You look… amazing." She gushes, a faint blush covering her cheeks as her blue eyes capture hers. "You really do look beautiful with short hair."

Spinner's still in a state of absolute shock, gazing at Venus as if she'd grown a second head. "Venus, what in the actual hell? How?" Her hands wave around the girl's form in a wild gesture. "Please don't tell me you jacked an innocent Candor kid for their clothes…"

A smile slowly creases her pink lips. "A woman never reveals her secrets." Venus winks and taps the end of her nose.

That's a definite yes.

Finding no humor in the teasing jibe, Spinner seizes her hand and tugs her closer, and Venus immediately sobers up. "Seriously, how did you know I was here? How did you know I was even alive?" She whispers, worry lines creasing her forehead.

Venus opens her mouth to speak but her jaw abruptly clamps shut, now staring at something over her shoulder.

"What?" Spinner turns around to find Eric standing in front of her with his hands clasped behind his back. "Yes?" Her eyebrow ticks upward.

"Well, aren't you going to introduce me?" He asks, nodding to Venus.

"For what? She doesn't know you."

"Hence the reason for introductions." Eric retorts with a mocking tilt of his chin. "Did your little pity-party permanently damage your brain?"

Spinner glares daggers at him and he smirks back.

Venus takes a graceful step forward. "How do you do? I'm Spinner's cousin, Venus." She greets with a curtsey, causing Eric to cock his pierced eyebrow in wonder. "It's nice to meet you."

Spinner slaps a palm over her face with a groan.

"Eric," he nods. "That's funny. Spinner never mentioned having a cousin." He remarks, throwing her a sharp glance.

"She's my cousin, twice removed. So I didn't really see her much..."

"Oh? Which side?" Eric studies her closely, gauging her reaction with cool, steely-gray eyes.

Spinner squeezes the blonde's hand still held tightly in her grip. Venus feigns a sneeze, blowing out the Hebrew word for father. "Sorry," she smiles at Eric apologetically. "I'm not use to all the dust around here."

She grins surreptitiously as she feels Venus squeeze back. A little secret smile softens her delicate features. "She's on my good ol' Pops' side."

Eric's eyes narrow in suspicion. He didn't seem convinced at all, but both girls flash him twin dazzling smiles.

"Well, Tank, we're gonna go catch up and do cousins, twice removed… things. Okay, see ya later, babe! Muah!" Spinner places a spontaneous kiss on his cheek before twirling around and tugging her cousin away.

"Spinning Top, aren't you claustrophobic?"

"Yeah… I can spare about ten minutes before I freak the fuck out. I'll be good until then."

Spinner ended up dragging her into the supply closet, lit by a dingy light bulb above them. It was the only private place she could think of at the time, despite her claustrophobia. It had stemmed from her fear of darkness, the unknown. But this fear she managed to gain some sort of control over. If she concentrates on her breathing hard enough, she can count down until her panic attack hits.

Venus sighs wistfully as she gazes at her with a soft expression. "You haven't changed a bit."

"Nine minutes and counting…" Spinner draws in a deep breath, trying to find her calm as she feels the walls slowly begin to close in. "Vee, what's going on?"

"Evelyn has a son here in Dauntless." Venus reveals and Spinner's eyes widen in startlement. "She's been corresponding with him over the last couple of months. She saw you two together one night."

"What's her son's name? What does he look like?"

Venus's shoulders lift in a shrug. "I think it was… Toby or something of another, and she never described him. All she said was that he'll be coming to her very soon."

"Figures. Everything was always a goddamn riddle with that woman." Spinner furrows her brow, shaking her head. "Well, I don't know anyone named Toby. But whatever, that's beside the point." She draws in another deep breath as her pulse races in her ears. She gazes at the blonde intently. "Venus, do you know what happened to my parents? All I remember was being with them and then… I woke up in Erudite."

"Erudite?"

"Yeah, Jeanine Matthews took me in before I came to Dauntless." Spinner responds, frowning. "I told you how she and my mother were close."

"But," Venus presses her lips into a thin line. "Isn't that what Jack Kang-"

"Yeah, I know. There's still shit I'm tryna figure out," Spinner mumbles with a bitter taste in her mouth. "Vee, you need to tell me what happened."

Venus face takes on a grave expression, before she gently takes her by the shoulders and sits her down on an old milk crate. Clasping her shaky hands between hers, she brushes a soft kiss to her fingertips and looks at her mournfully. "One night there was a huge brawl that broke out among the group we were staying with. You know, over the usual stuff. Knives were pulled and someone was even gutted. Then Dauntless soldiers showed up and it got worst. Everybody was fighting at that point, including you."

"I… was?" Spinner heaves, her leg bouncing up and down as the anxiety begins steadily clawing up to the surface.

Nodding, Venus rubs her hands in a soothing gesture. "And those two Dauntless men were there as well. Remember the ones you'd always complained about? How they would stare at you whenever they were policing the area?"

Spinner nods before coughing into her shoulder. She clears her throat, rocking slightly as her eyes darken with the memory. "Yeah, I remember them. What did they do?"

"They went after you." Venus answers, her gaze unwavering. "You managed to disarm and kill one, but the other had pulled out a syringe and injected you with something."

"I was sedated?" She asks in disbelief. "That means… I was taken. Venus, what happened to my parents? Where were they?"

Venus's blue eyes are brimming with tears and she feels her heart sink. "They tried to recuse you, Spinner. But… they were shot and killed in the process. We tried to save them but we had to run..." She reveals with sorrow in her voice, squeezing her hands in consolation. "I've always said a part of them would always remember you, and they did. Ian and Naomi died trying to protect a daughter they loved so much and you should take comfort in that."

Spinner feels numb all over. Tugging her hands out of Venus's grasp, she shrugs them through her hair. "I don't-I don't..." She shakes her head then lowers it between her knees to regulate her laboured breathing. "My parents died for me…"

'Is it possible that Jeanine had been watching you all this time?'

"Hell if I know," she grunts aloud.

"You're still hearing her, huh?"

She glances up at Venus who smiles at her sadly. Her eyes fall to the floor, staring at her sneakers. "Yeah, Petra's still here," Spinner sighs. "But thank you, Venus. For… going through all this fucking trouble." She gazes at her with eyes filled with regret. "I never did deserve you, Bubbles. I wish I'd treated you better."

"I know, Spinning Top. I forgive you." Venus's expression softens as she cups her face and brings her into a sweet kiss. When the girls finally separate, they look at each other and share an awkward laugh. After the moment passes, Venus speaks again. "I see you're still into blonds." She quips slyly.

Spinner snorts at the reference towards Eric. "Yeah… you know they've always been my weakness." She nudges the bottom of her chin affectionately and Venus giggles in response.

"I'll bet. Eric, or Tank as you called him, is incredibly handsome. You always had such great taste in partners." Venus sends her a devious smile. "And as the Goddess of Love, I couldn't help but sense the extreme sexual chemistry between you two. Wow. I must say, Spinner, I haven't felt anything like that before. It's suffocating. What on Earth are you guys waiting for?"

"Vee, please not now…" She groans then coughs once more. "I feel like I'm about to crap out one of my fucking lungs. Let's get out of here before I die."

All of a sudden, the closet door swings open and Four blinks at the sight of them. Then frowning at her in puzzlement, he asks, "What are you doing in the supply closet…?" He nods to Venus who waves back brightly.

Spinner shakily climbs to her feet. "I'm catching up with my cousin twice removed, obvi." She replies in a blasé tone. "Venus, this is Four aka The Brood. Broody, Venus."

"It's nice to meet you, Four," Venus grins as she stands. "I see she's still on her nickname streak."

"Yes, unfortunately," Four chuckles. "She has half the compound down."

"Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm fucking awesome. Now, if you'll excuse me..." Spinner shoulders past them and nearly hurls herself out of the supply closet. "Holy mother of God!" She greedily sucks in huge gulps of fresh air once she's in the hallway. "I'm never doing that shit again! Ugh."

An hour later, Venus is gone. But she leaves her with a pouch full of Chicago green and a promise she would contact her again. Apparently, something's brewing in the Factionless sector with Edgar and the renegade group.

Spinner bites the inside of cheek as she journeys down the hallway, her mind racing a million miles a minute. Dauntless soldiers killed her parents. They died for her. Is that why Jeanine didn't tell her? Because she feared she wouldn't have went along with her agenda? And the Dauntless soldiers responsible, what happened to them?

"This isn't making sense," she mutters through clenched teeth. "I have to see my fucking file. It has to tell me something."

Her file is in filing cabinet in Eric's office. She'd checked the one in Max's when he assigned her to filing duty for that afternoon. He only had up to last names beginning with the letter L, so she figured Eric would have the rest.

As she's nearing the door, Spinner pulls her nail file out from her sleeve then crouches down in front of the lock. After a brief look over her shoulder, she pushes the tip into the keyhole and begins jiggling it around. "C'mon, you stupid piece of shit. Open for Mama. You-can-do-it. Ah, yes!" She grins as the lock disengages and she carefully opens the door, and steals into Eric's office.

Relocking the door, Spinner darts across the room towards the filing cabinet. She jimmies the lock open and then starts flipping through the M's. "…Manson… Marley… Mason… bingo, McCall." She pulls out the folder and drops it open on top of the cabinet, before she starts sifting through the information. "History of present illness: Petra shows signs of mental instability. Blah, blah, blah… Dissociative Identity Disorder (refer to section b for notes)." She flips to the page and tilts her head as she reads through the doctor's chicken scratch. "Huh. So that's what you're called, Pet."

'Keep reading, Spinner...' I deadpan.

"Such a party pooper," she resumes reading. "She also exhibits symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (see page 5 for report). Yada, yada, yada… Claustrophobic, Hoplophobic." She skips the rest of her mental health history, because she knows it's just a fancy way of saying: this chick's ten levels of fucked up.

As she's flipping to another page, she hears voices outside in the hallway. Spinner's eyes widen as she quickly shuts the drawer, and then shoves the file folder down her shirt. "Shit, shit, shit!" She zips across the room, skidding to a halt in front of the window as the male voices grow louder.

It's Eric and Zim.

Unbolting the latch, she slides open the glass and peers down. It's an extremely large drop, but there's a ledge wide enough for her to stand on. Spinner says a quick prayer– something on the lines of: just don't let me fucking die… again– before she climbs outside. Shutting the window, she presses her back right up against the building and shuffles out of view.

"So, Eric, where are you taking Spinner after the banquet?" Zim asks.

Spinner edges a bit closer to the window and crouches as she peeks inside. Thankfully Eric's at his desk facing away from her, and Zim is too busy smirking at him to notice.

Eric scoffs and kicks his feet up onto his desk. "She wasn't being serious, Zim."

"How do you know?"

"Because it's her."

Zim rolls his eyes. "Eric, if you want her then go for her. Clearly Four was bullshitting when he said all that crap," he continues exasperatedly.

Huh, so Eric was bothered by what Four said.

"And it's clear to me that Spinner likes you despite of everything."

Eric remains quiet and she can see his shoulders slightly tense. Perhaps he's remembering the last two stressful and emotional weeks they shared.

"She's not Olivia, man. I mean, Spinner took a bullet for you. A bullet. If that doesn't tell you how much she cares about you, then I'm shocked at how you were ever in Erudite."

Spinner blushes with a shy smile and that's when Zim glances over at the window. He does a double-take, his eyes bulging out of their sockets and his jaw dropping open as he spots her outside. She waves a hand and shakes her head in a frantic gesture, signalling for him to not draw attention to her.

'Just get him out of the fucking office!' She mouths, pointing towards the door.

Zim looks back to Eric, smiling a little too hard. "We should go. I'm starving."

"We literally just ate."

Spinner groans inwardly.

"Well… I'm hungry again."

"Or you're just lying out of your ass." Eric pushes to his feet and starts to turn.

Spinner glares and flips Zim off before speedily shuffling out of sight. She rounds the corner just as she hears the window snap open.

"Jesus," she wheezes, trying to catch her breath. "It's a good thing I'm not afraid of heights, or I would've been totally screwed."

'This is why I'm the rational side of you.'

"Oh, shut your non-existent piehole, Pet." Spinner grunts as she continues moving.

I would've rolled my eyes if I had any.

She spies an open window at the end. When she reaches it, she finds Max sitting in his office gawking at her with wide incredulous eyes.

Spinner jumps into the room, shooting him a bright smile. "'Sup, Bossman? Nice weather we're having today, huh?"

"Should I even ask, Petra?"

Her smile widens into an inane grin. "Nope, byeee!" With that, she zooms out of his office.

Dinner came and went. It was fairly surreal being in the dining hall since the incident. Spinner didn't eat, or talk much during the table's conversation. Her friends noticed but no one said a thing. Some time later they went to the pit and she was left alone for the rest of the evening.

Spinner closes the file folder with a deep sigh, tossing it onto the coffee table in pent up frustration. The information in there is as vague as her memory. The only thing that stood out was the serum Jeanine was forcing her to take. It's supposedly a suppressant to keep her manic episodes at bay. But other than that, there's still questions she needs answered.

And it seems like she'll have to confront Jeanine herself.

Spinner picks up the folder and shoves into her cubby underneath some clothes. Then suddenly there's a knock on the door. "I'm dead!" She answers dryly.

"Funny. Open the door." Rolling her eyes at Eric's voice, she unlocks it and then continues on her way to the kitchen. "Where are you?" He calls out.

"Follow the sound of my voice. I ain't moving." Spinner returns lazily from her seat on the kitchen counter.

Eric rounds into sight and then a smirk flitters across his lips. "I see you dressed up for me again, Princess." His steely gaze purposefully drags down her body, taking in her t-shirt that left her legs on display.

Heat tingles down her spine as she licks her lips. She watches his darkened gaze snap down to her mouth, and Spinner smirks as she playfully swings her legs back and forth. "You like, Tank?" She asks in a velvety purr that has him stalking towards her. "I worked really hard on this one."

"I can show you better than I can tell you." Eric rumbles huskily, easing between her thighs and sliding his large hands over her bottom. He pulls her to him and she hisses in a breath when she feels his pulsating member digging into her core. Her legs clamp around his torso and she moans as he grounds his hips into hers. "Fuck."

"God," Spinner's hands travel up his chest and grabs fistfuls of his shirt. "Why are you even here?"

"You really want me to leave, babe?" Eric captures her lips in a bruising kiss as he thrusts against her once more. She emits a pitchy whimper into his mouth and he growls in satisfaction. "Doesn't seem like it." He smirks as his fingers slip underneath her t-shirt and trail over the waistband of her panties, pulling at the material.

Blinking out of her trance, Spinner frees her lips from his and kicks Eric away with a glare of annoyance. "I'm not your goddamn booty call! Is that what you came over here for? I told you: I'm not that desperate."

"What I said bothered you that much?" Eric asks indifferently.

"Yes, Tank, you hurt my feelings." Spinner admits in a grumble, gazing off to the side. Her lips turn down in show of displeasure and embarrassment. "That's not how I wanted to come across."

He snorts and her eyes whip back to him in a ferocious glare. "You shouldn't be so sensitive, Red. What I said was a compliment."

Her head cocks sideways as her eyes squint at him, virtually stupefied. "Are you literally stupid? Seriously, did your parents drop you on your head as a child? How the fuck is calling a girl desperate a compliment? Who the hell let you in Erudite? 'Cause I'm offended on behalf of that entire faction."

"Are you done?" Eric deadpans, staring at her with a bored expression flattening his face.

"Yeah, pretty much. I'm actually kinda thirsty now. Soo, wanna soda?" Spinner hops off the counter and slides over the fridge. Opening the door, she bends down to look at the selection at the bottom. "We have grape, ginger ale, cream soda my absolute fave, and..." Her sentence dwindles into silence as she feels Eric's gaze stroking her body. Spinner's face puckers with a blushing frown. "Oi, quit staring at my ass, Coulter."

"Why? I'm allowed to admire what's mine."

"Excuse you?" She whips herself upright, folding her arms and cocking her hip to one side. Spinner arches her eyebrow as the refrigerator door swings shut. "Since when did we establish that?"

Eric's face darkens. "Since the day you tried to cut my balls off."

"Too bad, huh?" Spinner mock pouts and relaxes her stance, shifting to hop up onto the other counter. "I was really looking forward to showing off Mr. Righty."

He rolls his eyes.

"Are you gonna tell me why you're here or…"

Eric's body loses some of its tension and his face becomes unreadable. "The date… did you say that just to shut me up?" Spinner sends him a strange look and he frowns at her in annoyance. "What? Is it that difficult of a question for you answer?"

"I'm gonna let that comment slide on the account of you look absolutely insane when you're nervous."

His immediate response is a contemptuous scoff. "Please. You know what? Fuck it. Forget I said anything."

Spinner rolls her eyes, managing to snag a finger through one of his belt loops as he's just about to storm by her. She jerks him back to her, winding her legs around his waist and draping her arms over his shoulders. Their position is so… intimate. Eric swallows, albeit uncomfortably, and places his hands down on either side of her.

"Tank, I want to go with you." She smiles at him gently.

"As friends, right?" He asks in an impassive voice.

Unable to resist, she kisses him, smiling when he gradually responds. Their tongues tangle and explore each other's mouths in slow, deliberate circles. "Maybe, maybe not," she hums against his lips, playfully nibbling on the bottom on before pulling away. "We'll just have to wait and see." She winks mischievously.

A smirk plays on Eric's lips. "Well, I better be impressed, then."

"Well, you better be prepared."

More questions for Spinner than answers.

I hope you liked this chapter. I had a bit of trouble writing it because I didn't want to cram you guys with so much information but hopefully I pulled it off.

Next chapter might be the one everyone is waiting for. Dun, dun, dunnnnn! LOL.

*Note face claim for Venus: Amber Heard.

Thank you for all the reviews, the favs and the follows!

Love, Peace and Tranquility.