A/N: There are a lot of people to thank for reviews: Black Sun Upon An Icy Sky, NC2001, MugetsuIchigo, Dragon and Sword Master, jcampbellten, rubberyorkieducky, NieveDrop, "Guest," roromi, LadyYoonEunSoo, KOTR13, Assault Godzilla, Quick-n-Popular, KitElizaKing, , Snowy Analia, Rukia's Reflection, Dark Inu Fan, AraShiba, crimson sana, .havens, Scaehime, TR4PP3R, Ignis Draconem, and Thedeathofthestars. And thank you to everyone who put this or its author on their lists. Wow, you probably thought I dropped off the face of the earth, huh? Nope, I'm back and hopefully you'll enjoy this as much as the ones that came before.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Bleach characters, manga, anime, movies, etc. They belong by copyright laws to Tite Kubo et al.
The Kurosaki Affair
Dresses of Damsels Not In Distress
Momo stood in front of Orihime, the healer gazing at the lieutenant with a measuring tape draped around her shoulders and pins in her mouth. "Has Ishida-sensei really finished my dress?" the Shinigami asked, still a bit surprised that the human doctor had found the time to make one dress never mind what would amount to an entire collection.
"Well, there are the finishing touches of course but for the most part, yours and the twins' are done. Rukia's is giving him a bit of trouble but I think that's because he's always second guessing himself. Ayasegawa-san has been such a big help too. I've been busy with work and I'm only doing this as a favor to Toushiro-kun because he asked that a guy not see you in your underclothes."
Standing in the modern foundation garments, Momo had to be thankful for her friend's foresight. She didn't think she would have recovered from the embarrassment if she'd had to stand in front of either the Quincy or her fellow Shinigami. "I'm thankful that you were able to be here today."
Orihime nodded as she handed the dress in question to her companion. "Go ahead and try this on and we'll see if anything needs adjusting. I'll pin what seems loose and give it back to Uryuu. We'll need to do one final fitting but I don't see any problems in the future." Orihime watched the other woman wiggle into the dress, the light lavender brushing against delicate skin in a flattering fashion. When Momo appeared to be confused about how to fasten it, the healer went behind her and zipped up the back.
"Does it look okay?" Momo asked worriedly, touching the skirt hesitantly. She'd never really been comfortable in the clothes of the real world unless they covered everything.
Instead of answering, Orihime picked her phone up from the table and snapped a picture before Momo could figure out what was happening. "Toushiro-kun really needs to see this!" the healer exclaimed, typing in a message quickly before sending it to the captain.
"Oh, no, please!" Blushing more than she ever had before, the lieutenant made a grab for the phone but tripped on the dress and started to fall towards Orihime.
"Too late," the other woman answered from beneath the Shinigami when a ding indicated that the captain had replied to her message.
"Oh, he probably hates it," Momo groaned, getting up as delicately as possible.
Taking a look at the reply, Orihime bit her lip to keep from laughing. Rangiku had evidently snatched the phone from her boss, taken a picture of his red face and sent it back as proof of his reaction. "No, I don't think he hated it," she reassured.
"No?"
"No," Orihime giggled, tempted to show Momo the picture. Maybe she'd keep it and make an album of all of the reactions.
"Oh, well, I guess that's okay." Returning to the fitting, Momo and Orihime made the adjustments quickly; quiet conversation filling the room as they worked.
"There now, that was easy, wasn't it?"
"It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I didn't know you were so good at making clothes, Inoue-san."
"I'm not really, but Uryuu says I make a pretty hem so he said I'd have no problem doing this."
Looking at the hem before she took the dress off, Momo hummed an agreement. "It is nice and neat. I can never get the line straight. The one time I fixed Shiro-kun's kimono when we were kids it was so bad that he ripped it out and demanded that Granny do it the right way."
"Well, he won't have any reason to do that this time, will he? Go ahead and take it off. We'll get you back to the Soul Society in a jiff."
Wiggling out of the top half of it, Momo breathed a sigh of relief when it none of the pins dug into her flesh nor came loose. She was almost completely free of the dress when the front door cracked open and Yumichika popped in, another fabric store bag in his hands.
"Inoue-san, I'm back!"
Both women screamed in surprise, hands going to hair pins and summoning kido in a blink of an eye. Immediately reacting to the perceived threat, Tsubaki was sent towards the portal, a giant ball of blue light giving him an extra push. Thanks to his training, the fifth seat was able to avoid both attacks, leaving the door and its frame vulnerable.
"Ayasegawa-san!" Momo scolded, clutching a robe that Orihime hurriedly gave her.
"You should really knock," Orihime scolded, sighing at the damage.
"Stand still and let me get you," Tsubaki demanded, staring at the culprit.
"I think not," Yumichika answered. "Inoue-san has gotten quick and rather powerful over the years. I'd rather not end up on the wrong side of her shields."
"It's okay, Tsubaki; you can go back now. I think Hinamori-san and I can take care of things here. Thank you for coming so quickly."
The camellia spirit glared at his wielder before sighing. "Nothing fun happens anymore," he grumbled as he returned to the others.
"Well, on that note, how did the fitting go?" Yumichika asked, setting down the bag he'd managed to keep intact.
Grey and brown eyes glared back at him, still clearly not happy with his sudden appearance. "Fifth Seat Ayasegawa…" Momo started.
"Lieutenant?"
"Please leave while I dress."
"Oh, sure, but what are you going to do about the door?"
"You are going to hold it over the opening so that no one in the hallway can see in," Momo answered, her tone brooking no argument. "If you don't, I will let Shiro-kun know that you saw me in my undergarments."
"If you wanted brute strength, you should have…" Yumichika paused when the rest of her threat caught up with his brain. "Oh, uh, that would be acceptable." The eleventh division took his punishment with grace from that point on and waited until his compatriot was back in uniform.
"You are dismissed," Momo said, and adjusted her sword. "I must return to the Soul Society now. Please let me know when Ishida-sensei is ready for the final fitting."
"Of course, safe travels, Hinamori-san," Orihime said and waited until the Senkaimon had opened and closed before turning her attention back to Yumichika. "I hope that bag means that you found what Uryuu wanted because if he gets back her before I can fix this, he's going to have a fit."
"What am I going to have a fit…?" Ishida began and came to a halt once he caught sight of the damage. "What the hell…"
"It seems that your fiancée's reflexes are quite good, as are Hinamori-fukutaicho's," the only Shinigami present explained. "I startled them with my sudden appearance and they reacted with amazing swiftness. Had I not been trained as I have, I would probably be a goner."
Ishida pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Please tell me your flowers can reverse the damage before the neighbors see this," he asked his beloved and was relieved to see her nod. "How did the fitting go?" he asked as she summoned the reversing shield.
"Quite well, all things considered. The hem needed to be taken up a couple of centimeters and the bodice needed a little adjusting but you got everything else perfect. I'm sure all the others will be the same. Which reminds me, Yuzu and Karin should be here any minute for their fitting. It was quite difficult getting Karin to come so we might have to do a little hogtying. Ayasegawa-san, do you know any kido?"
"Perish the thought," he said and waved away the necessity. "Relax, after handling Yachiru for her measurements, the elder princess will be a proverbial piece of cake."
"I really wish people would stop jinxing this operation," Ishida said as he heard the argument coming from two Kurosaki females as they walked toward the apartment.
"You should have let me pound his sorry hide," Karin said heatedly as she got to the open doorway.
"I told you, I've come up with a much more satisfying plan," Yuzu returned, stopping to stare at the partially repaired doorway.
"What, a frying pan to the back of the head? I thought you wanted to punish him, not kill him," her twin returned, having noticed the other three.
"Well, that would have been good too but he would have been wandering all over the Soul Society until some Shinigami found him and killed him yet again. And I would have been in trouble here so sadly, no frying pan." The lighter haired twin turned her attention to her hosts and bowed. "Thank you for having us," she greeted in an attempt to change the subject.
"Good evening," Orihime returned, smiling. Her flowers returned having fixed the door and she sighed in relief. "Please, come in."
"Excuse our intrusion," Yuzu said and started to enter.
"Well, once he realizes his mistake, you still have to let me punch him," Karin demanded and struck the door frame with her spiritual power infused fist. It cracked the wood, leaving small splinters on the entryway floor. "Huh, don't make them like they used to," she commented before coming in all the way.
Ishida was tempted to scold her but figured it would only fall on deaf ears. As she was just as angry at Kano as the rest of them were, he couldn't really fault her for taking it out on an inanimate object. "Next time, try not to use your powers," he sighed and looked to his wife-to-be.
"They're really going to be annoyed," she said but called forth Shun'o and Ayame again. The more assertive of the spirits took one look at the damage and growled lightly. Shun'o was usually the more level headed of the male spirits but even he had a temper. "Really, Kurosaki-hime, you're beginning to resemble your brother a bit too much."
"Sorry, I wasn't paying attention," she returned, not quite certain why she was arguing with a floating flower.
"Yes, yes, I realize that but we are not meant to be repairmen. Please try to keep your spiritual energy in check. You can do a great deal of damage if you focus properly."
"Right, got it. So, where are these dresses Rukia-nee forced you to make?" It was clear that she considered the matter of the door closed and it was equally as clear that she hated the very thought of wearing a bridesmaid's dress.
"Be patient," Ishida commanded and sat down the case he'd brought home so he could switch gears. "Orihime will help you into them and then I will go about seeing if there are any adjustments to be made. It'll quick and painless."
"I've heard that before," Karin grumbled before following the spirit wielder reluctantly. "Oi, Yuzu, don't just stand there, I want to get this over with and head back to school."
Yuzu started, her glazed look focusing once more. "Sorry, I was thinking."
"About what?" Orihime asked, opening the door to the bedroom she shared with Ishida.
"A frying pan might be too much but a wooden spoon wouldn't, would it? A few good whacks would help get my point across, don't you think?"
Yumichika and Ishida began laughing, Orihime giggling at the thought while the more outgoing twin fell to her knees with unsuppressed amusement. The entire apartment was filled with the hilarity of the vision it presented the occupants and it was clear that it would be a long time before the fittings actually got done. Every once and a while a snicker would break through and another round of laughter would delay the purpose of the twins' visit further. At the rate they were going, Yuzu and Karin wouldn't be leaving until morning.
Once the fittings had finally been done and dinner eaten, Ishida sat down at the desk he used in his bedroom for paperwork and sighed. As much as he needed to concentrate on his work, the matter of Kano and the Fullbringers seemed much more pressing. Picking up his phone, he opened a message box and typed in a quick word to Ichigo so that he knew what was going on. The girls would be alright in his care for the night but for the first time he wondered if his protective presence was really needed. As demonstrated by the splintered doorframe and glowing fist, not to mention Yuzu's apparent deft handling of a wooden spoon. "Ah, well, at least they grew up right," Ishida murmured before putting the phone away and determinedly focusing on the mountain of paperwork that sprung out of his briefcase. Princesses they might be, but they certainly weren't the kind to sit in a tower and wait for someone to rescue them. Briefly he wondered what they would have done if they ever got stuck in some tower or dungeon. The very thought brought another round of laughter from the Quincy although it was quiet this time. He suddenly felt very sorry for the Kano kid, but only for a moment.
That rotten excuse for a man deserved everything the twins could throw at him and more. If he was duplicitous, he deserved a one way trip to the farthest corners of the Soul Society; and if he wasn't, he was far too dumb to associate with Yuzu much less date her. Realizing that he sounded too much like Ichigo for his tastes, Ishida redoubled his efforts to do his work and pushed the rest of his worries to the back of his mind. Things would work out in the end.
They always did.