A/N Ok, here's the last part of Bernie's and Penny's lunch. Please review and let me know your thoughts and how you like it so far. Other's own the characters, I'm just borrowing them for a while.

Chapter 25 Bernadette Breaks Through

Penny kept staring at Bernadette, "What other things?"

"You told me when you broke up with the other guys, it didn't bother you that much, because you knew you could find another guy," Bernadette explained. "Were you mad at the guys when they cheated, were you hurt?"

"Of course."

Bernadette asked, "So, when did you start dating after breaking up with them?"

Penny thought about it, "Well, sometimes I'd find a guy the next weekend and have sex all weekend, to get over it, or I'd start dating right away, why?"

"After you broke up with Leonard, did you have sex right away? Did you start dating right away?"

Penny thought back. "No, I didn't. It was three weeks or so before I went out, and then only had sex once and even then I only dated the guy for a couple of dates.

Bernadette pressed her, "Think about why Penny and why did you still hang around Leonard?"

"Well, I was so depressed by breaking up," Penny said despondently. "At first, I didn't want to go out. I grabbed at a chance to stay friends with Leonard, because I thought there was a chance Leonard and I could get back together."

Bernadette continued to press, "So, you broke your normal pattern for Leonard?"

Penny was thinking again, "Yeah, I guess you could say that."

Bernadette kept pushing her, "After all Penny, look at all the guys you dated when you were younger, and how you only dated Zack from when you broke up to getting back together."

Penny shifted uncomfortably, "Not quite Bernie. I started dating a few weeks after that thing with Raj."

Bernadette's mouth dropped open. "What? You never said anything about that."

Penny smiled at Bernadette's expression, "Yep, I was pretty quiet about it. I thought I had screwed things up, for good, with Leonard, and he was still dating Priya. What was I supposed to do? Leonard does know though, I told him during our talk."

Bernadette was shaking her head, "Wow, didn't see that one coming. Was it more than one guy?"

Penny nodded, "Yes, four to be exact, one several times. He had to work one night, it would have been our fifth date, and since he had to work, I asked Leonard to go with me as a friend. That was our disaster of a 'friend night'. Leonard doesn't know this part, I guess I should tell him, but I was probably going to sleep with him that night."

Well, didn't you go out with him again?

"No, I thought about how bad that 'friend night' with Leonard was and why," Penny said. "It seemed that Leonard and I were jealous over each other and that meant we still had feelings for each other, as more than just friends. Even after everything that had happened, I thought that meant that there was a chance we might get together again. So, I called the guy and told him we were done."

Bernadette was surprised, by the confession, "Wow...OK, but that just strengthens my case."

"How do you mean?

Bernadette said, "Well, you broke off an ongoing relationship where you were thinking of sleeping with the guy, for a CHANCE of getting back with Leonard."

Penny looked thoughtful, "You know, I never thought of it that way."

Bernadette smiled. "You want my next point?"

Penny grinned and said, "Sure, I'm liking this."

"You said that Leonard is acting more assertive, right?"

Yeah, he's got a lot more confidence now," Penny said.

"And, you're saying you are worried about him leaving you, right"

Those memories were getting Penny upset, "Yes, I am. That thing with Alex, then Valentine's Day, I thought he was going to break up with me. That's what scares me."

Bernadette continued to lead her to it, "Think about that Penny. You know Leonard's loved you for quite a while now, and that whole time, he was always worried about you breaking up with him. You said he was very insecure about the relationship.

Yeah, what's that got to..." Penny got a far off look in her eyes.

Bernadette let her go.

"So, Bernie," Penny said. "You're saying I'm insecure because I love Leonard and with his new confidence, he's not dependent on me like he was and I'm afraid he'll leave and I won't have him. That's silly."

Bernadette didn't hesitate, "I'm sure it's more than just the fear of him leaving. How much you care for him, how much you don't want to hurt him. All those other things you've said about how you've felt these last few months, play into it."

Penny look lost in thought.

Bernadette continued excitedly, "Penny, this is a good thing. For the first time in your relationship, you both are afraid of losing the other. You're both insecure, to some degree. And the sweetest thing is that neither of you want to hurt the other or do something that will cause the other to leave.

Bernadette continued, speaking faster, "You both want to do things for he other. Your relationship is very balanced at this point. Not like it was before, when you thought you Leonard was supposed to make you happy, and he did everything he could, TO make you happy. However, you both have to get over some of that insecurity. You've started to get insecure and Leonard has become less insecure. Right now you have to trust each other more to not hurt the other."

"So, let me lay it out for you," Bernadette was trying to get through to her, "you are insecure and are afraid of losing him again. You don't want to hurt him, you broke up with another guy to try to get together with Leonard. Your old thing of thinking love is sex doesn't apply with Leonard. All of these are signs you are in love with Leonard. That you don't recognize it is, I believe, due to you never feeling like this before."

Penny's expression didn't change.

"I even had those thoughts about losing Howie," Bernadette sounded sad, "you know we fought over kids, over the bachelor party, telling his mother about space, and several other things. But we made up and each gave a little. Because both of us didn't want to lose the other. I think you and Leonard have reached that point."

"I don't know Bernie, this is all to much for me to understand."

Bernadette was sharp, "No, it's not, Penny. Think about his one. Remember when Howard and I had one of our fights, and you said something about being engaged and still having a lot of options?"

"Yeah, what about it?" Penny asked "I didn't understand why you were so sure, especially with Howard.

Bernadette said, "Well, you're not engaged yet, but at this moment, do you still think you have other options out there? Are you looking around?"

Penny thought about it for a minute, then a shocked look appeared on her face, " No, Bernie, I'm not looking around. Since that thing where Leonard was jealous I realized what guys hitting on me did to him, so I don't even give the appearance of looking. If someone tries, I shut him down. If Leonard is close, I grab him to let everyone know who I'm with. I've noticed myself touching Leonard all the time now, even if it's just him and I."

Penny smiled, "If Leonard is not around, I tell them I have a boyfriend and please leave me alone. I have no other options. Leonard is the only option I want. But, I still have things that prevent me from committing like you and Howard did."

"Half the problem is knowing you have one, Bernadette said. "How long have you know about your problem with commitment and why are you afraid?"

"I don't know exactly," Penny said, thinking about it, "I've seen marriages go bad. I've seen bad marriages. I've seen and lived through a bad experience living together. It's the same thing with saying 'I love you', Bernie. I knew, or thought I knew I loved him, but couldn't say it because of all the problems I remembered having after I said it, plus all the confusion of what exactly love is. Maybe I need to think about those bad marriages and figure out how Leonard and I are different."

Bernadette smiled, Penny was getting it, "Now, think about that excitement you said wasn't there. You thought it was because of being afraid of being cheated on. Now, you know it's Leonard and what he does that makes you excited. You know Leonard won't hurt you, you know you don't want to hurt him, but now you're afraid that you'll do something yourself that will drive him away. You got the excitement back, not the same excitement you thought you needed, but a different kind of excitement, and you're afraid of doing something that will, in the end, hurt you."

Penny, your earlier relationships were all based on sex," Bernadette was determined to get her to think about it, "you didn't know any better. Leonard was never just about sex. That was something you never had before, so you didn't know how to handle it. He wants to do things for you that make YOU happy. But, when a relationship gets to this point, you both have to make an effort, or it falls apart."

"The entire time you've known Leonard, he's been willing to do things for you to make you happy and he was always worried about you, even when you weren't together. You told me he seemed as if he was always worried about you leaving him."

Bernadette was now pushing hard, to get Penny to see. "Now look at you. You thought he was supposed to make you happy. You thought you could always find another guy. You thought there was no excitement. You were getting deeper into this more than sex relationship, but didn't know how to deal with it. It looks to me that once you started putting effort into the relationship, you got your excitement back. You started wanting to do things for Leonard to make him happy, like he was doing for you. You got to the point where you actually do love him. You just don't recognize that feeling, because this is the first time in you life you are experiencing it."

Penny was quiet for a few minutes, thinking about everything that she had said, and putting it together with what Bernadette had said. Could it be? Do I finally know what love is, and am I really in love with Leonard? Wanting him happy, wanting to be with him, not wanting to hurt him anymore, are all those feelings of love? All I know is he has made me so happy, I can't let that go. But, what would he want with me?

"Bernie, it's just...sometimes, I wonder what Leonard is doing with me or sees in me. I feel as if my life's been a failure. You guys all have high educations, exciting jobs, I dropped out of college. I'm stuck in a dead end job and my acting career isn't going anywhere. What am I doing with someone like Leonard? For that matter, why do you and Amy put up with me? "

Penny, you can't think like that," Bernadette began gently. "You're warm, funny, caring, helpful, and many other things that make you so great. You're the opposite of Leonard's mother, as far as emotions go. Education is great, but for some people, they aren't looking for brains or education, they're looking for an emotional connection. I'm not saying you can't have an emotional connection if you have education and brains. You two just happened to find each other. You have the emotional make up that fit's exactly Leonard's needs, and Leonard fits yours, and much better, I might add, since he's gotten some confidence. You two have a very strong emotional connection. I know you like matching people up. If you could see the two of you together, you'd understand what the rest of us see."

"What do the rest of you see?"

Bernadette look at Penny with caring and said, "Penny, everyone, except Sheldon, who doesn't bother with these things-although Amy is trying-knows the two of you are meant to be. The guys have been watching you two for six years and know how hung up on you Leonard has been since you two met. Amy and I haven't been watching for as long, but I think we saw you at your emotional low about Leonard, so we know your feelings."

Up and down, loving, fighting, you two are like the perfect match. Your strengths offset his weaknesses, his strengths offset yours. You were both miserable after breaking up. You two stayed friends after breaking up. Stayed friends even when dating other people.

Penny was silent for quite a while. When she finally spoke, she sounded reflective, "These last few months I've been so happy and until now, I didn't really know why. With all of your explanations, I really believe I can now say I know what love is for me. As a result, I know I'm in love with Leonard, have been, and now I have no problem saying it to him."

"I knew before I got here that I have commitment problems. I'm not over them yet, but as you said, knowing about them is half the battle. Maybe if I can find another job, or get some parts, the bad feelings about those things will go away. It's so wonderful when I'm with Leonard, he seems to make everything better for me. He's been the one constant good thing in my life, these last six years."

Bernadette had one more point, "I'll finish with this, I've heard that love means your happiness is dependent on your lover, partner, spouse, whatever, being happy. Do you think that you could be happy if Leonard isn't happy? I'm not sure if that makes sense."

Penny nodded, "No, no, Bernadette, that makes perfect sense. I think I've got it figure it out, thanks to you, and no, I wouldn't be happy if Leonard is hurting. I'm not afraid of telling Leonard about anything now, even though I'm not quite sure how he'll react to a couple of things. You've been such a big help, Thanks."

As they were sitting there, Bernadette saw Penny get that far off look in her eyes.

Bernadette was staring at Penny and after a few minutes she said, "What are you thinking about?"

Penny face was sad, though there was the beginning of a smile, "You know I've done so many things that have hurt him, I should do something that shows how much I love him. So, I have a plan to explain to him why we can't live together yet, while still showing Leonard how much he means to me"

"What are you going to do?"

Penny's mouth turn into a sly grin, "Bernie, if I tell you, you can't say anything to anyone. Promise me, all right?"