Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm happy that you're still all interested in this story. I love getting all your reviews, they really cheer me up. I try to keep the action going. There'll be a time jump in the next chapter, just to give you all warning. I'll also be posting something else tomorrow but you all have to wait for that. Enjoy this chapter and I'd love to hear from you all. I'm really happy because I'm trying to come down from my Sherlock high. It was the last episode of series 3 today. Loved it!

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All mistakes are my own

Hotch knocked on Morgan's door. Morgan opened the door and gave him a sad smile. "How's Jack?"

"Still staying with Jessica," Hotch said. "He's going to stay there till the house is all cleaned up. How is Spencer?"

"He's beginning to realise what happened. I think he slipped into a state of shock before. Maeve was here but he sent her back to her house. He didn't want her parents to worry about her. He's asleep on the couch. Refuses to use the guest room."

He walked to the living room and watched as Spencer's chest rose and fell, a sign of a gentle and deep sleep. Walking over, he pulled the blanket up and stroked his hair gently. "Just keep sleeping, son."

Morgan and Hotch walked into the kitchen. Morgan poured them a coffee each, he handed it to Hotch and watched his boss take a deep gulp from it. "Thanks."

"How are you holding up?"

Hotch sighed. "I failed him."

"Hotch, there is no way you could have seen it coming. You saved Spencer before anything bad could happen."

"No, I didn't," Hotch said angrily before calming down slightly. "I had to watch my son get dragged away with a knife to his throat. I'll never forget the fear in his eyes. I'll never forget him screaming for my help. The son of a bitch had Spencer pinned to the floor and had his trousers down. He almost raped him. I don't even know what happened to him when I wasn't there."

"I asked him," Morgan said. "The guy hit him a few times, yanked his hair back and taunted him. Hotch, even if you had co-operated with them completely and given them all their demands, the guy was still going to assault Spencer. He told Spencer he was going to have some fun with him, but that he wasn't to worry. It wasn't going to be anything that someone hadn't already done to him. He's lucky I didn't get hold of him. I'd have beat him slowly till his brain was spilling from his ears."

"I'm just happy that Spencer managed to stab him in the eye. It gave me the chance to get the gun away and shoot the man with me. Morgan, I'm supposed to protect him. I promised him a safe and pain-free life. Instead, I put him in danger. I can't lose my children. I lost Hayley to Foyet, I don't want another unsub to take away anyone else that I love."

"Was Haley your wife?" a voice came from the door. Hotch turned around to see Spencer looking at him.

"I'll give you some time alone," Morgan said before walking out of the kitchen.

"I saw a picture of her. You never talk about her, dad."

"I don't talk about her much because it hurts. She was my wife, then we got divorced. Even after the divorce, she stayed the love of my life. A man named Foyet came after my family because I refused to accept a deal. A deal I still wonder about to this day. If I stopped hunting him, he'd stop killing people. Not long after I rejected the deal, I got attacked in my apartment."

"You got attacked," Spencer said with wide eyes. "How bad?"

"Stabbed nine times and then taken to hospital by him. Haley and Jack had to go into protective custody. I kept hunting for him though. I didn't get to him soon enough. He managed to lure Haley and Jack under the guise he was a marshall protecting them. Jack only survived because we had a little thing between us. I'd tell him to work a case with me and he would hide. He hid and survived. Foyet shot Hayley and I found her when I got to the house. I killed Foyet and found Jack alive and safe. He misses his mother to this day and he seemed lost for a while. You brought him back to life though."

"What do you mean?"

"You became his big brother and gave him someone he knew would protect him no matter what. He loves you and so do I. When I saw that man holding the knife to your throat, all that went through my head was fear. Please, I thought, please don't let me lose my son. When I walked in and saw him on top of you, I didn't hesitate to shoot him. I know you blame me for what happened."

"No, dad. I don't blame you. It's just, I don't understand why people keep trying to hurt me like that. I recognised the look in that man's eyes. It was hunger and a sick hunger at that. It's the same look Ben had when he was hurting me. I got scared," Spencer said, his voice shaking. "I remember screaming for it to stop when I was thirteen, and fourteen, and fifteen. My mind makes me remember, dad. It makes me think that something is wrong with me. I don't blame you. I blame myself."

Hotch got down from the kitchen stool and grabbed Spencer's arms gently. "Why would you blame yourself?"

Spencer looked into Hotch's eyes. "I bring danger everywhere I go. I brought it to our house and I even brought it when those men attacked. What if Jack had been there? They could have hurt him. I never want Jack to know what I've gone through. I don't know what is wrong with me."

"Nothing is the matter with you. You didn't bring danger to the house. The men who came to our house wanted their friend back. I arrested him and put him in prison. I should have looked into his people more. You don't bring danger. Don't ever think that this was your fault. You're the reason we survived."

"No, I'm not."

"When you stabbed that man in the eye, his scream distracted the other one. I snatched the gun away from him and shot him. Then, I shot the man who was trying to hurt you. Without that distraction, I don't think we would have made it out. I don't want you to focus on what happened last night. Just focus on your life. You're going to stay with Morgan for a few days. I'm going to clean up the house and get more security installed. I want you to feel safe."

"Dad, I do feel safe. Why wouldn't I feel safe with you as my dad?"

Hotch hugged Spencer close. They hugged each other for a moment before Spencer came away. "I'm sorry about Haley. She sounds like she was a great woman."

"She was the best."

Spencer walked around nervously outside Morgan's house. He clenched his hands as he waited for Maeve to come. He relaxed them when she walked up to him. "Spencer, I rushed over here as quickly as I could."

"Maeve, I lied to you."

"What?" she said, surprised by his sudden admission.

"I didn't tell you everything about my past. After last night, I need to tell you. I don't want something to happen and you find out. I should never have lied to you. I helped my dad's team capture the man who tried to murder me back in Vegas."

"That doesn't sound like a bad thing, it sounds like a good thing."

"I escaped from protective custody and lured him out. He tried to murder me the first time to end my pain, the pain from William. I went with him willingly with a cellphone. I turned it on when I got to the house, the team tracked it. Maeve, I asked him to help end my life because, after losing my mother, I felt I had nothing to live for. He gave me pills and I took them of my own free will. Before I came to Virginia with my dad, I tried to kill myself. The only reason I'm standing here, alive and with you, is because my dad found me and rushed me to the hospital."

Maeve looked into his eyes for a moment. He saw her eyes tear up and her jaw tighten. He tried to take a step forward but her hand came up quickly and slapped him across the face. He held his cheek as it stung. No words came from him as he turned back and looked at her.

"Why would you do that?" she cried. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I didn't want you to know because I was afraid of losing you over it. I had lost everything in a matter of two days. My mother died because of me. I thought it was the solution to everything. I thought William was going to get me back. I know it was stupid and my dad made me see sense."

"I need to go and think about this," Maeve said, turning around and making her way down the street. He raced after her. He grabbed her hand.

"Maeve, please. I'm sorry. I told you the truth and I don't want to lose you. Please, tell me why you're angry."

"You tried to kill yourself," she yelled. "All that is in my head is you on a bed, dying alone. I would never have met you and you're the best thing to happen to me in a long time. I love you, you stupid idiot. That's why I'm angry. It hurts me that you would ever think that was the answer."

"You love me?" he said, unable to help the smile on his face.

"Of course I love you," she said smiling back with tears down her cheek. "It's why is hurts so much. I don't want you to ever think that is the right thing to do, ever again."

"I don't think it was the right thing. My dad showed me how stupid I was being. I love you too," he said as stepped forward and wiped her cheeks. "You can't imagine how much you mean to me."

"I think I have a pretty good idea," she said before touching his cheek. "I'm sorry I hit you."

"Deserved it," he said. "I lied to you and it wasn't exactly a small lie. So, that's the first time we've ever said we love each other."

"It is," she smiled. She kissed his lips and ran her hands through his hair. He kissed her back and kissed down her neck making her giggle. "We should argue more often."

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