A/N: I am soooo sorry! I'm so sorry for such a late update! I don't know how much time passed but I did a huge chapter to make up that time lol. Let's make a pause to those dark chaps, shall we? Lol. This one has some humour, I hope you enjoy it!
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, but I do own Raven.
Finding you
Chapter 25: The endless night
(3rd pov)
That was a strange night… he still didn't know how Sora could kill the one he loved… he never thought his best friend suffered so much. His thoughts wouldn't let him sleep… especially when they drifted to a special someone else…
"Raven…" He whispered to the white ceiling of his room. Riku spent hours always wondering… where was she? Was she alright? Was she… alive? He could never know. He sat on his bed, knowing that he wouldn't be able to sleep and stared at his window. He neared it, and stared outside, recognizing the tree where Raven would always be. But the place was empty… Raven missed nearing against that tree. He sighed and picked up some cloths to wear, taking his sword with him to got out. He needed to get some air.
He walked outside, in slow steps going through all the stairs of Disney Castle to get outside. Once outside, he walked to the same tree he saw before, and leaned against it. Again the questions swam inside his mind while the sound of the flying leafs were his only company. He just kept there, leaned against that tree, thinking of the long month that passed. An entire month wondering where she was… was driving him insane. He thought of the possibility of leaving and finding her… but he knew that Kairi would need him, especially now.
He straightened up, and began walking in circles, with his hands stuffed in his pockets. His eyes drifted from the hem of the forest to the full moon above him. The boredom of walking in the same direction was getting his nerves, and he decided to near the forest. He knew he could find a few heartless, especially at night but he needed to keep his mind busy with something. As he neared, the sound of heavy a slow footsteps coming closer got his attention. He silently neared, hiding kneeled behind some bushes, with his sword in his hands, and waited patiently. Something was pushing the bushes away trying to pass through the vegetation, and strangely, a human form reveals. He lowered his weapon, but the moonlight was hidden behind the clouds and he couldn't recognize the shape.
"Where the hell am I?" He heard the person's question. He tried to recognize the voice, but it was so low that he couldn't make the difference if it was male or female. After those words, the figure went back to the forest. Riku straightened up, with a confused look on his face, staring to the same place where the person left. The curiosity of finding who was that individual, made him walk inside the forest. Before he could give any steps, the silhouette suddenly comes out of the vegetation, with a long sword in hands, ready to strike.
"Who is there?" She screamed into the night, and Riku quickly recognized her voice.
"Raven!" It was finally her… she actually came back. After a long month with nights with no sleep, she was there right in front of him. He was so surprised that he didn't move, he simply smiled with an urgent need of holding her like there was no tomorrow.
"I asked you a question! Who are you!" She asked more aggressively, but he simply neared her, happy to know that she was fine. As he neared, she stepped back afraid of him. "Don't come any closer!" and he stopped, confused by her actions. The moonlight was revealed, as the clouds got away, and he saw her with shock all over his face.
Her hair covered one of her eyes, as she clenched her teeth. The colour of her eye went to the heartless bright yellow, to her clear grey eyes. Her clothes were all ragged, as blood and sweat rolled down her face and arms. Her face showed anger and agony, as the grip around her sword was getting weaker.
"Raven?" He called her name unsure.
"Why do I recognize you?" She said slowly lowering her weapon. "Why do I know you and I don't your name? Why were you here hiding behind those bushes trying to attack me?" With caution he got closer, knowing that Raven wasn't on herself. She raised her sword again and said. "I told you to stay were you are! Answer my questions!" He stopped throwing his sword to the floor, to show he was harmless. Her gaze quickly went to sword and returned to him, but she held her sword in air.
"It's Riku… don't you remember me?" he could see by her face that she was making an enormous effort to remember him. She slowly lowered her weapon, and stabbed it in the floor. She leaned her hands against the sword, with a confused look on her face, trying to remember him. "Who are you…?" She mumbled to herself. He tried to give another step but she was aware of him. "I told you to stay where you are… Riku… the name isn't new to me…" Then both eyebrows rose as she remembered who he was. Her gaze locked with his azure eyes, and there it remained. Her eyes stayed the clear grey as they used to be, while a relieved smile formed in her face. With her playful look, she asked. "Ooooh… you're the conceited bastard right?"
"Yes… I am." Riku said frowning. Relieve was clear on her features, as her numb legs couldn't support the weight of her body. Riku was able to prevent her fall, holding her tightly against him. And she didn't hold back… she replied in the same way he did… welcoming. She didn't have the strength to break the embrace, as tiredness took over her body. "What happened to you?" He whispered worried to her ear.
"I don't know…" She replied faintly. "I just need some rest… and a bath… urgently."
"Come on, I'll help you." Riku said, but as expected… she refused his help. When he broke their embrace, Raven placed her hands in his shoulders, keeping him away from her.
"There's no need to help me, I can do it myself." Trying to keep her balance in both feet, she used Riku's shoulders as a support. She gave a few weak steps, and soon she felt her balance leaving her. Riku watched amused as she sighed and said. "Okay… you win." She placed an arm around his shoulders and walked inside the castle. She was still having some trouble to move her legs, feeling the pain of her wounds taking over. Riku noticing that, pulled her legs up supporting her back with his free arm, and took her.
"Riku… put me down…" She said weakly getting no response. "Riku… I'm warning you…" Still he ignored her, looking forward to the castle's entry. "I said, put me down, damn it…"
"Or else?" He asked staring at her amused, knowing she wouldn't have reply to his question.
"Just put me down already…!"
"Do you want me to take you to your room?" He asked warmly, ignoring her pleas.
"No… I want you to put me down…"
"I'll take you to my room then."
"What! Why you… you…!" She was so tired that her words wouldn't come out, and he smiled amused at her attempts. For Raven's misfortune, someone was there besides them.
"Raven?" She heard Kairi's voice calling her.
"Great…" She breathed out. Riku was surprised to see her there as well, but with the recent night events, he knew it would be hard for Kairi to sleep.
"Couldn't sleep uh?"
"Yeah… I guess you won't be able to sleep as well, right?" She asked in a faint playful tone.
"What do you mean by that…!" Raven quickly asked.
"Nothing!" Kairi quickly replied. "Anyway… I'm going out for a quick walk…" She said giving slow steps to the doorway.
"Will you be alright?" He asked.
"I'll be fine… don't worry." She said walking outside.
"Hey Kairi…!" Raven called faintly, while Kairi turned her gaze at Raven. "Don't tell anyone I'm here…" Kairi stared at her confused exchanging her gaze between Raven and Riku. She nodded affirmatively, and went outside. Riku was confused as well, but he didn't say a thing until they reached his room. He finally answered her pleas, helping her to keep her balance on both feet. "Do you mind if I use your bathroom? I really need a quick bath…"
"Go ahead…" He replied warmly, helping her walking inside the bathroom. She leaned against the door, and stared at him by the corner of her eye.
"Thank you…" She said closing the door right after. He knew those words meant lot… the way she said them, showed the relieve she felt of seeing him, and he was aware of that. Knowing that she would take a while, he went to infirmary to get some medication and bandages to heal her wounds. He ran to the infirmary and found Sora and Aerith sleeping peacefully, to his relieve. He searched for everything he needed and went back to his room.
Raven was enjoying her late bath that she was expecting a long time ago. It's been one moth that she had time to relax… to be at ease… with nothing to worry about. She was so tired, and that bath was feeling so good, that she soon fell asleep inside the warm bathtub. Riku entered his room, and heard the water tickling inside his bathroom. He neared the door, and tried to hear any sign of Raven.
"Raven?" He called but no reply came. "Raven!" He called louder this time, and still no reply. He slightly opened the door, as the warm vapour came out. "Raven? Are you ok!"
"Uh, what?"
"Are you alright?" He asked worried.
"Yeah… I just fell asleep." She mumbled confused by the sudden interruption of her sleep.
"Try not to fall asleep again." She giggled at his statement and replied a tired 'yes'. Riku walked to his bed, and let his body fall freely. He fell on his bed, with his eyes closed. Finally he would spend a night with no worries… at least he hoped he would. He had so many questions to ask her… so many things he wanted to know, but she was so tired that she would possibly like to sleep. After a while, he heard Raven calling him.
"Uh… Riku?" He instantly got up and walked to the door.
"Yes?"
"Where's the towel?" He stared confused at the door and asked.
"Isn't one on the towel rail?"
"There's none here…" He went to his chest of drawers and took a towel form his last drawer. He went to the door and asked.
"Do you mind if I come in?" There was long silent pause, and he heard her exclaiming inside.
"Of course I do!" He sighed rolling his eyes and entered. He entered in the steamy bathroom, and saw Raven's head peeking, with her body behind the bathtub's curtain. "I said I do."
"You do let me in then." He replied with a smirk, while she frowned at his statement. He unfolded the towel and neared the bathtub. He held the towel for her, and turned his gaze away from her, to let her come out freely.
"I can wrap myself, thank you." She replied annoyed, but he remained in the same position, waiting for her. She sighed, and walked out of the bathtub, turning her back to him. She pulled the towel to warp it around her, but Riku's arms followed her. Once again… she was lost on his embrace in that awkward condition. She felt his strong arms warping around her, feeling him pulling her closer to him, and she closed her eyes… savouring the moment.
He pulled her closer feeling her form molding into his, sinking his face in the soft fabric. He could help but to feel drawn by her embrace… it was so rare to be like this… he was surprised that Raven didn't do a thing to stop him. He leaned his chin against her covered shoulder, and whispered to her ear.
"I missed you…" Only after he heard himself, he realized what he said. But to his surprise, he felt Raven's tension loosening, letting her weight land on him.
She didn't know what to feel at that moment… everything was so unexpected. She didn't mind to be like that, no matter how strange the situation was… she actually wanted… but she knew she couldn't. It was like those hopeless diets that when you see your favourite chocolate, and you know you can't eat it, because it will ruin everything you did until you saw it… it was frustrating… so frustrating. She couldn't feel repulsive as well… because she felt exactly the same… she missed him more in that month than in five years.
Both knowing the moment couldn't last too long, broke their sweet embrace. Both felt the warmth leaving the moment they're bodies lost contact, and after that, both remain silent not knowing what to do, static in the same position.
Raven didn't dare to face him… she knew something would happen… she knew she'd give in the moment her eyes crossed his. Riku knowing her too well didn't move. He knew for sure she wouldn't face him, he knew that she'd possibly reply in her usual way, but he didn't know what to do at the moment… to leave, or to simply speak the words he's been trying to say… even though they seemed not to reach her heart.
Not knowing, both thought the same… what to do? Raven knew she had to do something… speak something, but she didn't want to be offensive… she couldn't feel offended no matter how much she wanted. But she didn't want to she him how please she was by hearing those words. She made all efforts to get a playful tone in her tired voice and with a genuine smile on her face, she said.
"Get out of here…" Even knowing she did all her efforts trying not to hurt him again, she hoped he didn't misunderstand what she meant with her words. She didn't want to hurt him like she always used too… but she couldn't help it as well. To her relieve, Riku let out a small laughter, and slowly left the bathroom. Once she heard the door closing, she let out a long relieved sigh. It was then she remembered something…
Outside, Riku leaned against the door, letting out a sigh… it seemed every time he was with her, he'd be more and more confused about her feelings. He knew that she didn't despise him… but did she feel something different from normal for him? Some times he was so sure… other times he was so sure of the contrary.
"Uh… Riku? Do you have any clothes?" She cursed to herself so much not remembering that small but important element. From the other side of the door, a smirk was plastered on Riku's face, as he replied.
"I did the laundry this afternoon… the clothes aren't dry." He heard quick footsteps nearing the door and suddenly, the door burst open with violence, revealing a desperate Raven, with only a towel to hide her nudity.
"What!" She asked almost screaming, with her eyes widened, while Riku stood baffled in front of her, staring at her not knowing what to do. He simply stared at her, admiring her no matter how awkward the situation was. "Hey! Stop staring at me like a damn perverted and say something!"
"Uh… what?" He asked not paying to much attention at what she said. She simply frowned and replied.
"You're useless…" Knowing how to counter back he said with a playful frown.
"If I'm useless to you, it means I can't get you any clothes."
"No, it means you'll get me some clothes, or I'll… I'll…" She tried her best to pick the worst death sentence, but in her condition, she couldn't.
"What? You'll strangle me with your towel and reveal your body to the perverted?" She did her best to control her temper, taking deep breaths to help. In her condition she knew she was in disadvantage, and there was nothing she could do… and that was making a real number on her pride.
"When I get some clothes… I'll get you for sure…" Riku laughed at her statement walking one of his drawers saying.
"So, it would be better for me to stay still and do nothing… I'm the link to take you out of that towel..." He made a pause between his sentence, and leaned his shoulder to the nearest wall, trying to make the sexiest look he could and said. "If you know what I mean…" She opened her mouth surprised by his commentary, trying her best to control her temper, knowing she was too tired to retaliate.
"Just give me the damned clothes…" Riku chuckled at her statement and grabbed some clothes from his drawers and walked back to her.
"Before I give you the clothes… sit down." He said pointing at his bed. Raven stared at him suspiciously, not knowing what could come from him and remained in the same place.
"What for?"
"To heal your wounds."
"I don't need that, I need the clothes." She said trying to reach the clothes, but Riku wouldn't let her, stretching his arm making for her impossible to take them. "Give me that already."
"No, first, heal your wounds." She sighed defeated, knowing she had no option, and sat. She felt Riku's weight landing on the bed, right behind her. He examined her back, watching some scratches she had, and some of them were still hidden under the towel. "You have to show me your back."
"What for?"
"What do you think so? I'm not going to eat you!"
"Who knows?" She said in a whisper, letting the towel slide down her back. He noticed a deep gash on her back and said.
"And you didn't want to heal, uh? How did you do this?" he felt her tension rising after his question, and she didn't answer him. "Raven?"
"I don't know…" He stared confused at her bare back, healing carefully each wound.
"You don't know uh?"
"Yeah… it's possible that in my heartless form something happened…" He stopped when she said those words, remembering what she truly was and what she went through for a month. He kept doing his work and he didn't know what to say… that was always a fragile subject. Raven always tried to hide her weaknesses, and that was the one she hated the most.
"Want to talk about it?" He asked unsure.
"It's not a secret anymore, right?" She said between sad chuckles, staring at him by the corner of her eye. He nodded to her, and her gaze returned to her hands that rested on her lap. She never talked about herself to anyone… she was so used to keep her thoughts to herself that she didn't know where to begin.
"I don't know where to begin…"
"Can I begin then?" He asked knowing that was hard for her so talk about that subject. She replied him with a nod and he asked. "Where did you go after what happened?"
"I'm not sure… Kingdom Hearts was empty for some reason. After I transformed I was sent to another world… everything was so hazy that I don't remember what happened… everything is still very confusing… what I'm sure is that all heartless were there."
"All of them?" he asked surprised.
"Yes… they were destroying everything." She breathed out those words, feeling the weight of guilt in her heart as she slowly remembered the events of the last month. She felt his hands leaving her back, going to her arms and he asked.
"Raven? Is this… the heartless sign?" She stared at her shoulder and saw the mark of what she truly was. She nodded positively at him and he asked. "How did you get this?"
"It's Ansem's sign… every heartless he did, has that sign…"
"I see…" He said staring at the sign in her arm. It wasn't like the other heartless signs… this one seemed to be vanishing, while the other shined vividly in the heartless body. Maybe because she has it for a long time. Confused by her silence, he called her. "Raven? You okay?"
"Yeah… I'm fine…" She lied as she recalled everything she lived in that troubled month.
"You can pull your towel up now…" She slowly pulled her towel up, while she felt Riku's weight leaving the bed. He sat in front of her, staring carefully at her face. She watched his stare, with the care that she never thought she would see or feel. He began healing some wounds on her forehead, and asked.
"Do you remember what happened?" She stared once more at his aquamarine eyes, helping her, showing a deep care, moving carefully his hands. Why off all people… him? "You don't remember?" He asked crossing his gaze with hers. She blinked her eyes, trying to keep those thoughts away from her mind. He smiled at her reaction, and turned his attention to her forehead. "So?"
"Unfortunately… I do." She answered as her memories returned once more. He turned his gaze to her saddened face, letting his hand gently slid down her forehead to her chin. Slowly raising her head up to make her look at him.
"You really don't want to talk about this, right?" He asked knowing exactly her thoughts and feelings. She turned her gaze away from his, knowing he could read anything from her features. "If you don't to talk about it, just don't."
"Just give me the clothes…" She said answering his question.
"You don't have any deeper wounds, do you?" He asked handing her the medicine. "If you have, take care of them…" She nodded to him and went back to the bathroom. She closed the door and leaned against it, letting out a sigh. She knew she didn't want to remember, but she had no other choice… she had to tell what happened, so that everyone would know what's happening. She stared the clothes he gave and frowned.
"Riku?"
"Yes?" She heard the reply at the other side of the door and said.
"Your boxers and a shirt?"
"Why? Do you want to wonder around all naked? It's okay for me…" She frowned even more at his statement, making her wanting to scream at his face, but she didn't.
"That wouldn't be okay for me for sure…" With her last reply, she dressed the only clothes she could wear. The clothes she had before were all raged and dirty, full of blood of innocent people. She stared at the medicine he gave her, and thought… why would someone like him care so much for her? A killing machine? It didn't make sense for her… it was confusing.
She did as he told her, healing her wounds, knowing that if she didn't do it he would scold her. After healing all her wounds, she cleaned the stained floor with the blood that slid down her body… regretting everything she was… everything she did… everything she felt. Even what she felt for him…
She walked out of the bathroom with her ragged clothes in her hands, seeing Riku laid on his bed with his eyes closed. He was probably tired as well. She placed her clothes in the trash basket, knowing they weren't worth getting cleaned or arranged. She slowly walked in his direction, sitting beside him, staring at his sleeping face. His slow breaths and calm expression made her feel… strangely calm… relieved. For the first time after her transformation… she smiled. No matter how heartless she was inside, how couldn't she smile to such a sweet sleeping face? She felt so drawn to such a peaceful expression, that she wanted to feel it… reaching his face with her hand. She wanted to touch his face… but she was too afraid… too afraid to want him even more. Even so, she kept going, and she touched the soft skin, making her fearful feel disappear, replaced by a warm sensation. She gently caressed his face, trying not to wake him from his peaceful slumber. So many thoughts ran through her mind in that moment… so many that she couldn't pick one to think about.
Riku still didn't understand why would she be doing that, but he didn't mind at all… he just kept there pretending he was asleep. He just wanted to see her face… was she smiling? Was she sad? He wanted to know so badly… but he'd get in trouble if he opened his eyes. So, he moved a little, like a warning to her, and her hand quickly left his face. He slowly opened his eyes and stared at her smiling face.
"Sorry if I woke you up…" She said getting up.
"It's alright…" He replied in a sleepy voice. He watched her walking to the window, staring outside with the same expression on her face.
"Don't you want to sleep?" She asked with her gaze turned to the moonlight.
"I do but… I still have some questions…" He said sitting. She turned her gaze to the bed, walking on its direction, and sat beside him. He stared at her waiting for her to talk.
"I need to tell you something… about this month that passed." She said with her smile vanishing in her features.
"Go ahead…"
"I saw many things… the heartless are being controlled, now I'm sure about it." He stared confused at her and asked.
"How's that possible?"
"Easy… imagine a little boy. His mom says that if he behaves like a good boy, he'll get a chocolate bar… what will he do?" She asked staring at him.
"He'll have a good behaviour…"
"And he'll get the chocolate… it's exactly the same with the heartless. You want some candies? Go to this world and destroy it, that's what happens…" she said sadly. "It's how low I can get…" Riku stared at her saddened stare locked with the floor, and placed his hand over hers. She turned her slightly surprised gaze to his hand, but did nothing… she simply sighed and remained with her gaze locked with the floor.
"You can always refuse… you're not controlled…"
"That's easy to say…" She said with a slight smile to his conclusion. "I can refuse… but the heartless inside me is always aware of everything…"
"Hmm… I see." He said staring at the ground as well.
"You'll have to go there and see it… they are planning something big…" She said out of the blue. "The heartless weren't in Kingdom Hearts because they wanted us to enter… the guy that was wondering with us in Inis, was there to make sure we reached the castle and get Sora out of there… they wanted us to do everything, and we did."
"Why would they want that?" He asked confused.
"That's a good question…" She said making a small pause. "What I'm sure about is that all of you will have to do something. You'll have to go to Inis and—"
"Wait a minute…" He said interrupting her. "Why are you saying 'you', instead of 'we'?" She sighed and didn't reply to his question. He already knew why. "You're not leaving again are you!"
"Why not?"
"Why not! Because you won't! I won't let you." She turned her angered gaze at him and asked.
"Says who!" He was so tired of the same thing, over and over again, that he replied in the same way she did.
"Says me! And you'll be with us, helping us until the end!" She let out a hot tempered sigh, turning her gaze to the floor.
"I'm leaving because I need to leave."
"I'm sorry but that's not possible!" He said standing up.
"It's so impossible that I'll leave right now!" She exclaimed standing up, staring at him. He turned his furious gaze at her, surprising her, and walked to his door. With his back turned at her, he locked it and kept the key with him. He turned her gaze to her, and saw her with an unbelieving look.
"I can't believe you! Open that damned door right now!" She said pointing at the door. He walked to her, nearing his face to hers and said.
"No… only when you say with your eyes in mine that you hate me... and I don't want to spend another month like this last one…" She stared at him in the same furious way. She tried to get the words to say, turning her back at him, but they wouldn't come out. With a deep sigh, she said convinced.
"I hate you!"
"It's convincing, but you'll have to say it staring at me." He said knowing that she wanted to leave to avoid him. She sighed furious and walked to the window.
"If I'm not leaving from that door, I'll leave from somewhere else!" She said opening the window. She jumped to the windowsill, and stared down. She stared down, but her face quickly turned to another way. Riku stared at her confused.
"You have vertigos?" She didn't reply to his answer, while she tried to look down. Riku didn't wait for a late reply and began to chuckle.
"What's so funny!" She asked staring at him, with her back turned at him, holding tightly to the sides of the window.
"You, of all people! I can't believe it!" Riku never imagined that weakness in Raven. It was hilarious watching her holding tightly to both sides of the window, with her trembling legs, with his shirt and boxers… it was something he never imagined. "Come on, get out of there." He said between his chuckles.
"No! I'm leaving!"
"Raven… don't make me go there." He said in a playful tone. She tried to stare down, but it was impossible. She felt so dizzy every time she stared down. Why did he always have to win? She didn't want him to win again, it was too much for her pride. "Raaaaaven…" "I won't give in, I won't give in, I won't give in…" She thought with her eyes closed. It was then she felt her legs being pushed inside, letting out a scared shriek. She landed sat on his bed, taking deep breaths, scared of such a quick moment. She saw him closing the window, and turned his gaze at her with a playful smile.
"Were you trying to kill me?" She exclaimed still shocked. He chuckled and replied.
"You wouldn't get out of the same spot if I remained still, so I did what was best." She clenched her teeth, annoyed with him.
"Fine! Have it the hard way! I won't stay, and I'm sure of that!" Riku chuckled and replied.
"Good, I won't let you out either." And they kept with their gazes away from each other, not letting out any kind of disturbance. No one talked, no one moved… no one wanted to give in.
Raven was impatient and annoyed sitting on his bed, with her gaze on the locked door. She was so irritated, he was the only one that could hit hard on her pride. She didn't want to give in once more, and besides that, she couldn't stay because she had unfinished business. He could be so irritating sometimes. She just wanted to sigh, but that would show him how annoyed she was. She had it in her mind and it wouldn't come out… she would not give in.
He simply remained calm, leaning against the windowsill, with a smile on his face observing her. She could be stubborn, but he could be worse then her. He didn't want her to leave again… he didn't want to spend another month thinking about where she was, or if she was alive… it was too unbearable. He noticed she was doing her best to stay still, trying not to show any sign of impatient, but he knew how ticked off she was.
No matter how much she wanted to win this time... she was way too tired to keep going. One month of a troubled sleep really got her energies. Her eyelids began to betray her, as they became heavier and heavier. Riku noticed Raven's sleeping face, and asked.
"Sleepy, uh?" She didn't move her gaze away from the door, she simply tried her best to stop blinking, but it was impossible. "Raven… go to sleep."
"No… I won't give in this time…" She said in a sleepy voice, as he walked away from the window and sat beside her, placing his hand in one of her shoulders.
"You're way too tired, stay here… at least this night." She stared suspiciously at him, and said.
"Yeah, right, only this night… tomorrow morning the door will be locked."
"Well… I already told you the magic words to open that door…" She let out a long frustrated sigh… again… she gave in.
"Okay… I give up…" She said laying down on his bed. Riku smiled triumphal at her, as she tried to keep her gaze away from his. "You're way too stubborn…"
"I'm glad I am…" He replied standing up. He took the key from his pocked and said. "I'm going to trust in your words…" He placed the key on the keyhole, and opened the door. "Let's see if I can trust you on this." He went to the futon at the corner of his room, and laid there.
"Do whatever you want…" Both remained silent, waiting for their sleep. Raven kept thinking how he could convince her so easily… she really had to work on that. Why didn't he believe that she'd be leaving for his own good? She didn't understand him… and she never would.
"Raven?" She heard him calling her.
"Yes…" She said in a sleepy voice.
"You still don't want to talk about that, uh?" That question hit like ice landing on her stomach. "If you don't it's alright… there's time." She sat again on his bed, leaning against the head of the bed.
"There's time but… sooner or later, I'll have to say… right?" Riku sat up as well, staring at her tired face. Maybe he brought up the subject at a bad timing. "And I still don't know how to explain this…" He stood up, and walked to his bed, sitting beside her. Holding her hand on his, he gave her a sympathetic look. She stared at his welcoming eyes, but quickly adverted her gaze.
"What happened?" He asked.
"The heartless… destroyed an entire world… and I had part on this massacre…" Riku was surprised by her words, but he didn't dare to interrupt her. "They destroyed… they killed… as I did. I had no control over myself and I couldn't do nothing… but watch." She talked with some difficulty. It seemed that all of the sudden her mouth went dry, that her vocabulary left her, but even so, she continued. "I watched everything… and did nothing. Like this one family… they had tree child…" it was then she felt the hot liquid flowing down her features. She took her hand to her face, and some of the tears fell on her hand. She stared surprised at them… was she really a heartless? Was she really indifferent to her human feelings? She didn't know anymore. Riku's grip tightened more around her hand as he saw her crying. He felt useless… he felt he couldn't do a thing. Little did he know how much his support meant for her.
"Raven…?"
"You know…" She said in a low tune. "Some times… I feel so disgusted with myself." She said trying to hold back her tears, but they already ran freely down her face. She remembered herself, with all the heartless around her, using her own hands… to kill. Riku tried to look at her, but she kept her face away, avoiding his piercing gaze that always melted her heart. She didn't want to see his face… after what she remembered, she didn't want to see anything at all.
"Raven… look at me…" He gently asked her, but she kept with her gaze down avoiding his. "Raven… I'm here…" Those words were like magic. The moment those words left his mouth, Raven encircled her arms around his waist, leaning her face against his chest, crying… and crying. She never felt so vulnerable in her whole life… she didn't know how to fight the human feelings that she gained in seven years. She was a heartless before… why couldn't she feel indifferent to a dead family, like she felt before? Because she gained feelings? She didn't know… for the first time on her life, she felt the guilt of taking someone else's life.
He was stunned by her sudden reaction. He didn't know for sure what was in her mind, but he did what she possibly needed… he pulled her closer to him, encircling his arms protectively around her form, caressing her back. "Raven…?"
"I hate myself… so much…"
"Raven… don't say that…" He said trying to give her all his support. She straightened up, and stared at his concerned eyes.
"Tell me… if you killed three children with all the heartless cruelty, in front of their own mother… seeing the meaning of her life disappear right in front of her… what would you do? Specially after she asked me to kill her as well… and I didn't have mercy enough to do her that favour… tell me Riku… how worse can it get? How low can I get? Shouldn't I hate myself?" Riku stared at her, not knowing what to say, too shocked by her experience. He opened his mouth to say something, but words wouldn't come out. "Unfortunately… that's what I am, and I can do nothing to change it…"
"You're right… you can't change it no matter how much you want…" He said, not sure what to say after. He just had to be strong for her… to let her know that she had someone else to carry the burden with her. "No matter how you want, you can't control the heartless inside you… but look at you… you're feeling right now… do the heartless feel?" She adverted his gaze from his, knowing he was right. But still… she couldn't stand herself… no matter how caring his words were. "Raven… look at me." She closed her eyes, raising her head up. She opened her eyes and to her surprise, she saw him smiling at her… after what she said. She stared confused at him, not knowing his intention, but she heard carefully his words. "Do you think… that I would fall in love… with a heartless? I wouldn't… I fell in love with the human inside you, that's much greater than that creature… tell me Raven… how high can you get?"
She didn't reply to his question… she simply remained stunned staring at him… surprised by his words. She didn't know what to answer… she didn't understand a thing… she only felt drawn to him… drawn to his caring stare, drawn by what he was… he was the human inside her… he was the one who gave her feelings.
She couldn't think anymore… she was so tired that she wondered how she was still awake. Once more… she encircled her arms around him, leaning her face to his chest, but this time… she didn't cry… she simply wanted to feel… to feel his warmth for one night… she wanted to sleep in his arms, and the next day wake up there… sure that he'd there for her in the next day.
He welcomed her in his embrace, pulling her closer to him, giving her the warmth she needed. He felt her slowly falling asleep in his arms for the first time… it seemed that for the first time she accepted him… she accepted her human form… she accepted what she truly was.
A/N: End of chapter 25! Yay, it sucked! Lol. Looots of Raven and Riku right? Yeah I know, I think my OC is kinda boring and all, but I'm doing my best here! Lol. Anyway… again I'm sorry for taking so long. I feel like I didn't have Easter vacations, even though I spent a week in Brazil lol. Yes, it was an extremely tiring week, believe me! A senior's trip can be extremely tiring. Lol. The writer's block didn't help as well, I didn't touch this for a whole week because of that. Lol. Anyway, I want to thank everyone that reviewed me, and specially the ones that reviewed more than one time telling to hurry up with the update, to all of you, a huge thanks!
Special thanks:
Suma Susaki: You're here again! Thank you once more for being here, and your comment. And I'm really sorry for taking so long to update, I really do! I'll try to do a fast update next time! And I hope you'll be here to review as well. Once again, thank you so much for your review!
The Funky Bubbly Gurlz: Well… if you were waiting for so long for the last update… I can't imagine how long you waited for this one, lol. I'm extremely sorry if I made you wait again! I'll try to update faster next time! Thank you so much for your review!
Michelle: Heeeey! Thanks for your review once more! I'm glad that you liked the last chap, I know that there was lot of people waiting for Sora's pov, lol. About your question, Sora does think that Kairi's dead because of him, because he actually killed her. Now, how did he do it? We'll see in the future. Lol. Once again, thanks for your review and support, they mean everything to me!
Misau: Bem… tu ja les te metade disto lol. Ou mais. Enfim... kerias Riku/Raven e aki tens. So n se comem, mas tao la perto lolol. Bem, tks mais uma vez pelo review!
Princess Kairi: I'm glad you passed you examsJ. I knew you would like the last chap, especially after many requests of Sora's pov. There will more in the future don't worry lol. You know what happened to Sora? … Please don't tell anyone! Lol. Forget that, I'm crazy. Tell me your theory about what happened to Sora, I'd like to read. And please, keep send long reviews, I always like to ear from you.
Now, you second review lol. Yeah I know I took a looong time to update, I'm so sorry for that. Sickness season is the worst, uh? I was sick during my senior's trip; an otitis is the worst thing that happened to me there. And the mosquito bites! My arm was like Popeye's arm with such a big mosquito bite! Apart from that, the senior's trip in Brazil was great! We were lucky that just rained in one day. Yes, I played FF-2, but it gives a hell of a work to get the perfect ending lol. It's a sad story, but it has the perfect ending. But to get it… that another thing lol. So Goofy is accompanying you, uh? Don't worry then, the update's here! And I'll try to update faster next time, I'll really try! Once again, thank you for your long reviews, I always like to read them! Thank you so much for your reviews and support, they mean everything to me!
ILuVxSeSsHyx4eVa: I'm glad that you liked it! I really am! Thank you so much for your review!
Finished with the special thanks! Well, as I already said, I'll try my best to update faster! I do want to finish this fic, I really do! Lol. I don't know if I write more after this one, but this one will get its end. And don't worry, it's near lol. Thanks to all of you for your reviews and support!
P.S.: Don't forget about the drawing and the contest! The links are in my bio, go there and leave a comment in the drawing and participate in the KH contest!