All the unattended Vault Hunters were gathered in the lounge, the table enormous to accommodate them all. The fact they had even agreed to gather was remarkable, as most of them tended to just lay about the ship lazily unless shouted out for several hours and violently thrown from their resting place.

"Okay, so Lilith ordered us to do some remedial therapy, to help unit cohesion," spoke Wolfenstein.

"That sounds like something you take medication to get rid of," stated Alan with a wide grin.

"Why?" asked Aurai innocently.

"We'll tell you when you're older," assured Katelyn.

"Why am I here?" asked Rocko.

"Because there are free fucking drinks!" roared Jessup grabbing a bottle. He began gulping it down, grinning. "Hot damn I love this therapy!"

"That actually is part of it," explained the wereskag. "It's apparently a college game called 'Never Have I Ever'. Each of us takes a turn, saying an action we have never committed. Anyone who actually has committed that action must not drink while the rest of us do. I fail to see how this would help our cooperation besides revealing that we are all horrible human beings and getting us severely intoxicated, but I will go along with it."

"I go first!" spoke Baldemar. "Never have I ever slept with another man!"

Taika, Katelyn, Gaige and Maya did not take a drink, obviously enough. What surprised the living hell out of everyone was that Aurai did not take a drink (of apple juice) as well as Axton.

"…what did you do?" inquired Maya curiously.

"It was a drunk night in Lynchwood," grunted the commando, not wanting to talk about it.

"Don't tell me my sweet innocent macaroon has been defiled!" screamed Gaige grabbing Aurai and shaking her. "When did you sleep with another man?!"

"Oh, me and Dion share a bed! He even tells me scary stories at night!"

"Lucky motherfucker," grunted Alan.

Gaige breathed a sigh of relief, clutching at her chest. "Thank God! He didn't…do anything, did he?"

"What's that mean?" asked the Siren.

"Well if that's the case, he obviously didn't."

"I think it's my turn, but I started this game a little too early," grunted Maya rubbing her head, having already had a few bottles to drink earlier. "Uh…never have I ever gotten a piercing that wasn't my ear."

Everyone drank at that except for Alan, with absolutely everyone being surprised by that one.

"Oh, where is it?" demanded Salvador.

Alan grinned, dropping his pants. "Its. I got the whole package. Prince Albert, Hafada, and Lorum. Makes sex amazing, I assure you."

"That's a lot of metal down there," grunted Friedan.

"That makes my junk hurt just looking at it," spoke Baldemar

"Avert your eyes!" yelled Gaige covering Aurai's eyes frantically.

"Why does Cousin Alan have piercings on his wee-wee?" she asked.

"Because he's a goddamn freak of nature, that's why!"

"Hey, it's addicting," stated the priest pulling his pants back up. "Makes airports problematic though."

Friedan grinned, realizing it was his turn. "Okay…never have I ever had a pet."

Only Aurai and Zero didn't drink, the reasons being obvious. The fact certain people did drink was surprising.

"You had a pet?" asked Maya to Wolfenstein.

"You had a childhood?" inquired Gaige amazed.

He grunted. "Of course. I was small once. I also have a pet now."

"No way!" yelled Alan excitedly, being a huge animal lover. "Get it out!"

The wereskag groaned, whistling sharply.

A small puppy, snow white in color, sprinted down the hall. It ran up to its owner's leg, the massive wereskag scratching its head gently.

"Good boy," whispered Wolfenstein quietly, picking him up. He set him in his lap, the small puppy climbing up and licking its owner's face.

"Oh, don't lick!" exclaimed the wereskag, genuinely laughing from the bottom of his heart. "You're a good boy Magnum! Yes you are! Yes you are!"

"I wish I could record this moment," spoke Gaige.

"On it," stated Alan. "Ten bucks and it's yours."

"Deal."

Wolfenstein glared at them. "I do have feelings you know. I just don't wear them like fashion statements like the rest of you."

"You're just a big softie!" jested Gaige. "Still sending love letters to Elena Tear?"

"…she has a mate. I dare not trespass such territory."

"That would be a yes," spoke Friedan.

Wolfenstein went back to his dog, legitimately happy in its company.

"Oh, is it my turn?" asked Jessup. "Fucking hell, what have I NOT done? Shit…oh, I got it! Never have I ever watched an episode of Doctor Who I didn't like!"

This time, only Friedan, Taika, Rocko, and Saprus didn't drink.

"Never liked Brit TV for some reason," spoke Taika. "Never stuck."

"Never watched it," added Friedan.

"Same," stated Rocko.

"I'm too busy reading British literature to watch their television," explained Saprus.

Wolfenstein grunted, annoyed it was his turn, as he had to take attention away from his puppy. "Fine. This one will get all of you. Never have I ever slept with anyone I loved."

Only Zero and Salvador didn't drink. The assassin simply dumped his drink on the floor, not wanting to take off his mask to anyone at the table. The berserker shrugged, his entire life having been devoted to murder and gunfire. Nothing else really came across his mind.

"Aw, you love me?" asked Maya falling into her husband's arms.

"Bitch, my sexual conquests are like Napoleon's," snapped Friedan grinning widely.

"Short and generally unimpressive in the long-term?" proposed Alan.

"Go to hell," grunted the psycho.

"You love me!" yelled Gaige grabbing her boyfriend. "You really do love me!"

"I was surprised as much as you are," spoke Baldemar.

"Oh boy, is it my turn?" inquired Rocko. "Alright motherfuckers, time to learn. An expert just stepped onto the plate, so you better listen up mate. Never have I ever murdered a defenseless man."

Slightly ashamed, Friedan, Maya, Salvador, Axton, Zero, Wolfenstein, Alan, and Jessup did not drink.

"I regret anything Krieg may have done before I took control," murmured Friedan.

"I'm not proud," spoke Maya.

"It was justified," grunted Salvador.

"It is a bad thing?/To kill a defenseless man?/I don't understand," stated Zero confused.

"I was hungry," murmured Wolfenstein.

"Even priests aren't devoid of sin," spoke Alan.

"Fuck nigga, don't be dropping heavy shit on me," snapped Jessup.

Gaige grinned, realizing it was her turn. "This one is going to surprise you all. Never have I ever sexted."

"Unfortunately," murmured Baldemar.

"I literally sleep in your room more than mine. Get over yourself."

The emotionless killers (Wolfenstein, Zero, Salvador, Axton, Friedan) obviously didn't drink, as well as Aurai (who did not understand what that term even meant), Katelyn, Baskerville, and Taika. That left some very surprising options.

"You sexted?!" asked Taika to Saprus amazed. "When?! With who?!"

"I had a life once!" argued the infected. "Jesus, I knew people before you! I'm 64!"

"How is the important question," grunted Alan. "Did you use carrier pigeons?"

"Go stick your metal junk in a garbage disposal, Catholic."

Katelyn stopped, realizing it was her turn. "Oh…I was hoping you'd all be intoxicated before my turn…uh…never have I ever smoked marijuana."

At that no one else drank, surprising the living hell out of her.

"What?! Even you Aurai?!"

"Cousin Alan let me try some! It was icky! Never again!"

"Well that's good…wait a minute, you did it too Wolfenstein?"

"I was a pup once," argued the wereskag. "I tried to fit into a crowd."

"…even Zero?"

"The plant cannabis/A simple and refined plant/It is very nice."

"Oh my God…"

Alan pulled out his trademark bong, forged from a Mason jar, and a lighter. "Just do it quick. One puff, because I got the strong stuff."

She rolled her eyes, proceeding to do so. She began panting, utterly amazed at the feeling. "Such a powerful sense of euphoria…no wonder Suture prescribes it as medicine."

"Okay, now don't be greedy," stated Baskerville. "I got a better idea, let's do this with bong hits instead of drinks!"

"Aurai, you are leaving right now," said Gaige hushing her out of the room.

"That's my cue to go," spoke Salvador. "I know what happens when me and Krieg get high."

"Which is why I'm leaving too," grunted Friedan. "We had to hire two plumbers and a swordsman to fix that mess."

"I abstain from the exercise," stated Wolfenstein.

"I'm leaving," snapped Axton.

Zero didn't even speak, simply opting to turn invisible and flee.

"Oh boy, this is going to be interesting," spoke Saprus. "Now I'm really glad I took my suit off today."

"You sure old-timer?" jested Taika. "Might worsen your health."

"Please, you ain't getting rid of me that easy."

"Good. I'd hate to lose you."

"Same. You are…my love."

"Love? I'm just doing this for your body."

Saprus grinned, inhaling the bong smoke. "You're so mean…and I like that."

[Scotty "Roundhouse" Dale] "Hey Rich, let's play too!"

[Richard McGuiness] "Dude, we've BEEN playing. I've been keeping track of what they've been saying…so far I haven't drank a fucking drop."

[Scotty "Roundhouse" Dale] "Ah, sucks to suck nerd…wait, they mentioned sleeping with a man…"

[Richard McGuiness] "It was a SIMPLE MISTAKE! HE WAS VERY PRETTY!"

[Scotty "Roundhouse" Dale] "…uh-huh…well I actually got something to say to our audience! Listen up loyal fans! We need some damn questions or something! We'd love to get your input into this story, especially because Sam sporadically gives it attention now that he goes to college, and he gives it more in proportion to the reviews and hits!"

[Richard McGuiness] "So…drop some reviews then! Okay, let's continue this game Scott! Give me a tough one!"

[Scotty "Roundhouse" Dale] "Fine! Uh…never have I ever…eaten gas station seafood!"

[Richard McGuiness] "…fuck! I got diarrhea just remembering that!"

[Scotty "Roundhouse" Dale] "What sort of idiot are you!?"

[Richard McGuiness] "One of a kind! Later assholes!"

[Scotty "Roundhouse" Dale] "Tatty bye!"