Chapter 24

"It just disappeared," Audrey said, glancing at her hand and noticing the compass rose had vanished.

"But it just came back," the Reverend said. "It's only been one day. We haven't even passed the city limits."

"Well now it's gone," Audrey said, adjusting her backpack. "We're here." She glanced back at Gabriel, silently trudging behind them, at their backs, his face emotionless, standing vigil. Like always. Always a step behind her, ready to catch her if she fell, but never at her side. Only during her visions did he ever let down the wall and stand at her side.

The neighborhood they were in now had been particularly hard hit when the heavenly host had invaded humanity and wiped out as many humans as they could. Although the bodies had been cleaned up and thoroughfares cleared so traffic could get through, mostly foot traffic and horses in this age of almost non-existent petroleum supplies, nobody had bothered to clean up the burned out buildings and shattered windows other than to ensure the mess wasn't littering a public sidewalk. Far better than other towns they had visited, but still a chilling reminder that even the devout stronghold of the 'saints' had been judged unworthy by the Father.

"Now what?" the Reverend asked, carefully scrutinizing the surrounding buildings.

"We set up camp and we wait," Audrey said. "My vision said to find the second disciple we must enter the trap and dance with the devil. We'll just have to wait and see what happens."

Gabriel silently surveyed the surrounding area, and then set up camp in a looted building that had only been lightly singed by the fires. After several months of increasing levels of comfort and hospitality amongst the Mormons, adjusting to life on the road again was going to be tough. The Mormons had offered to transport them via truck and horse-drawn wagon to the edge of Mormon territory, but Audrey had declined. Their journey wasn't so much one of reaching a destination as of touching the lives of certain people along the way. She was here to pave the way for the Savior. However long it took, this journey had to be made largely on foot.

"Anything?" the Reverend asked, glancing towards her hand several hours later as night fell.

"Nothing," Audrey said. "We must sit and wait."

Gabriel pulled out some of the fried chicken and potato salad Obediah's wife had loaded them up on this morning and silently passed around the food. He'd finally begun to regain some of the weight he had lost since she'd first met him, but few mortal foods appealed to him. At least he'd finally lost the appearance of being forced to gag down insects and maggots under extreme torture whenever he ate. Some foods … such as fried chicken … he even found tolerable.

"Eat," Gabriel quietly admonished her when she allowed the food to linger too long on her plate, too curious about what in this neighborhood might turn out to be their destination to finish. Gabriel never ate until he was sure Audrey had all she needed, only ever picking at a few morsels until she was done. She picked up her plate and finished eating.

"Thank you, Gabriel," she said, meeting his eyes across the hodgepodge of battered shelving they had set up as a makeshift table. Gabriel, she had noticed, always sat with some barrier between them. A table. A fallen log. Across a room. A camp fire. Never more than a leap away from her side so he could protect her. Never close enough to touch. He'd even begun to retreat several steps behind her when they walked, rarely giving her the opportunity anymore to take his hand and tug him along. Only during her nightmares did they ever touch.

"There's no gas in the cook stove," the Reverend said, frost turning his breath billowy white. "This floor is concrete. I'm going to build a fire."

"We should gather enough for the night," Gabriel stated. "We may be here a while."

Gabriel silently helped the Reverend gather shattered wood from inside and around the building, neatly piling it close to a broken window so the smoke would vent and taking guidance from the Reverend as he built the fire. Gabriel hid his discomfort well, but before he had fallen, he had never truly experienced cold or heat. Curiously, his feathers had grown in thick and luxurious for the winter. For the billionth time, Audrey wondered what kind of creator would give his creations bodies so capable of living in a realm of sensation, and then deny them the ability to feel?

Traffic passed by in the street, ignoring the strange little band camping out in their midst. These were strange times. The Mormon church maintained a strong, central grip on their flock by ensuring every area they controlled had access to basic supplies and information. Word that an angel walked in their midst and was to be shown every courtesy, but otherwise left alone, had gotten out. Gabriel was not self-conscious about what he was, but he'd learned to garner less attention by hanging back and tucking his wings against his back to avoid creating a 3-ring circus.

Once they left Mormon territory, it would be a different story. Had word gotten around, as it had around Los Angeles and Las Vegas, that it had been lower-level angels possessing the weak, not demons, who had wrought the apocalypse? If so, Gabriel's wings would become a target on his back.

Fragments of her vision came back to her. Gabriel had kissed her before shoving her to safety and called her 'my love' with his dying breath. The brother-angel had sneered at her in hatred and insinuated she was the one responsible for whatever 'sin' Gabriel felt he had to atone for with his very life. Throughout the bible, it said that angels were heavenly creatures, spirits who could not feel, but she knew from having watched him struggle with his mortality that Gabriel could feel every bit as much as she could. Could Gabriel really be in love with her?

'Do you think I am made of stone?' Gabriel had asked her.

She watched him carefully now, feigning interest in the tattered Boy Scout Handbook Michael had left for her and carefully using the shield of her own eyelashes and veil of her hair to disguise her intent scrutiny. At first she had thought him a hideous monster, and then a mangled, ugly old dog. As he had healed, and scarred, she had begun to think of him as being brutally handsome. A beautiful, powerful, deadly creature bred by the Father to kill … like a mountain lion or grizzly bear. Now the scars of his fall had faded, the sharp edges had faded from his feathers, and weight loss had given his features an almost a vulnerable, youthful look. It was though his body was trying to mold itself into something she would be capable of loving back.

The Reverend and Gabriel silently sat together and sorted through their supplies, one occasionally asking a question, the other giving a one or two word answer. Her mother had called it 'male bonding.' The way men formed friendships by accomplishing some task together without talking. The Reverend was good at drawing people out of their shells, one of the things that made a good minister. He had gotten Gabriel to admit things to him that the stoic angel would never tell her. The Reverend had admonished her for being insensitive. Did he know?

She absent-mindedly moved a strand of hair out of her eyes, and then touched the spot on her forehead where she knew the Father had written instructions ordering Gabriel to protect her. Did he protect her because it was his duty? Or because he wanted to? It had taken him a year to reassure her that, if the Father ever changed his mind and ordered him to kill her, he would refuse. Obedience. Is that the 'sin' spoken of in the dream? That made more sense than something as ridiculous as a billions-year-old angel falling in love with a mouthy, eighteen-year-old snit with a bunch of freak tattoos all over her body.

"I think something's going on there," the Reverend said, pointing out the subtle increase in traffic that had been occurring over the past few hours. Throughout the rest of Salt Lake City, the Mormons worked hard and then turned in for the night early. In this neighborhood, however, there appeared to still be some sort of nightlife.

"Was that just … a bird?" Audrey asked, pointing to a flash of color disappearing around a corner off in the distance.

"It was a man," Gabriel said, his expression intense and alert. Audrey could almost picture his ears pointing in that direction, and then pushed the image out of her mind, ashamed. Gabriel was not a dog. "Or a woman. It was hard to tell."

"I hear music," the Reverend said. "Rock music. I guess not everybody sings hymns in this city."

"The sinner amongst the saints," Gabriel stated evenly, as though turning the idea over in his mind.

Audrey glanced up over the makeshift table and had to deliberately make herself look away as it suddenly hit her how very beautiful her personal protector had become. She had caught glimpses of this beauty before. Diving off the cliffs into the river. Singing his beautiful, heavenly song that mortal ears could not translate, but mortal hearts could understand. Moments when his touch would linger an instant longer than was necessary and she would catch a glimpse of fleeting emotion beating a retreat behind his stoic mask.

"We should investigate," Audrey said, forcing herself to focus. They had a disciple to find.

A pair of men wearing long trench coats walked by, chattering good-naturedly, and walked around the same corner the 'bird' had disappeared around. They would start there. Audrey shadowed them down the street, rounded the corner…

And laughed…

"Gentlemen," she said, needing to bend over to prevent her sides from splitting in laughter. "We must enter the Trapp."

The rock music was emanating from a tired old nightclub, or more accurately a good-sized bar, with a garish purple sign emblazoned 'The Trapp." Yellowish light shone through the windows, which were curtained, and a multitude of shadows could be seen moving inside. Stringing out the door, revelers in costumes patiently waited in the cold to get inside. At the door stood a burley, muscular bouncer next to a sign that read, 'Private party. Costume required.'

"Reverend," Audrey said. "You'd better go back and change into your Elvis costume. Gabriel … I think you'll pass muster. Me? It's a good thing I saved that skirt." They worked their way back to their impromptu 'camp,' changing and stowing their supplies in an inconspicuous place so they wouldn't get raided while they were otherwise occupied.

"It is not fitting for a Prophet of the Father to wear such suggestive attire," Gabriel stated flatly, his look disapproving, as Audrey stepped out from a back room wearing her combat boots, some crazy striped wool knee socks the Mormons had given her to stay warm that she had pulled up all the way to her thighs, the too-short skirt she had died in and then mended with medical sutures, her old bustier, and the 50's-era coat the old woman had given her.

"It's a costume party," Audrey said, giving him a mischievous look as she bent down to brush her hair upside down to fluff it up, and then twisted it up into a bun, securing it with a couple of shards of mangled wire that resembled chopsticks. She bent down to get some soot from the fire and paused, indecisive. "What do you think? Road warrior? Or zombie apocalypse?"

"Road warrior," the Reverend shouted out from behind the door where he was changing. "I don't think zombies would go over very well given all that's happened."

"Road warrior it is," Audrey said, bending into her bag to grab the fur collar she had saved from her old, mangled sweater and attaching it to the coat. She pulled a few strands out of her hair, quickly braided them into mini-braids, and then readjusted her hair with a few more pieces of twisted wire and debris.

"I'm ready," the Reverend said, stepping out in his Elvis costume, which he had restored back to its pearly white and mended while staying with the Mormons. He put on his dark sunglasses and gave Audrey his best 'Elvis the pelvis' pose, pretending to hold a microphone.

Audrey felt almost giddy, giggling as the Reverend got into 'Elvis mode' and started mimicking the King's mannerisms. Audrey strutted across the room doing her best Tina Turner walk. Gabriel scowled.

"What?" Audrey asked.

"I have no … costume," Gabriel said. He spat out the last word with contempt. He sat cross-legged and cross-armed next to the fire, studying their peculiar behavior with disgust.

Audrey looked at the Reverend. The Reverend looked at her. Gabriel was clueless. They both burst out laughing.

"You find mirth at my expense?" Gabriel asked, the muscle twitching angrily in his jaw belying the flat tone of his voice.

Audrey strutted over to him, the way Tina Turner had strutted over to Mel Gibson in Thunderdome, placed her hands on her hips, and slowly lifted her combat-booted foot, placing it upon his chest, and pushed him back so he leaned back vulnerable and prone.

"Aren't we a pair, Raggedy Man?" Audrey asked with a straight face. The look of surprise on Gabriel's face was priceless.

The Reverend burst out laughing. Gabriel scowled even more, if it was possible to scowl any more, thunderclouds growing in his eyes. Poor Gabriel! He didn't have a clue! Audrey quickly dropped to her knees from where she stood over him, grabbed his cheeks with both hands, and planted a big, affectionate kiss right on his lips.

Which lingered…

Electricity shot through her body as she heard his sharp intake of breath and realized this was something he desperately wanted. Arms came around her and a deep, almost agonizing moan escaped his lips as he responded to her kiss like a drowning man desperately gasping for oxygen. Something deep inside of her responded to his hunger, some primal emotion she had never felt before, but which sang out as his kiss deepened, pulling her further into his embrace. She felt his body quiver beneath her touch as though he were afraid of her.

And then he pushed her away.

"It is forbidden," Gabriel whispered, his voice almost a plea. His breathing was ragged as he skittered back on the ground from her like a dog afraid of being beaten by its owner, wings flared as though ready to take flight. His eyes were haunted as he unconsciously reached up to touch his lips, raw emotions dancing across his face, and then put down his hand, self-conscious of being watched. She had only meant to be playful, but she realized that somehow she had crossed some magical line he was too terrified to cross.

"I'm sorry," Audrey stammered, suddenly understanding that what she had seen in her vision had been real. "I didn't … I was just … I didn't mean … I'm sorry."

The Reverend had gone over to the shattered window, intensely pretending to be interested in something outside the room. He coughed, pretending to clear his throat.

"I think full battle armor would be pretty cold at these temperatures," the Reverend said innocuously, staring out into the night. "Perhaps just the breast-plate and arm-bands over the cargo pants will do?"

"And the mace," Audrey said, picking up the lifeline the Reverend was throwing to her. "Definitely the mace."

Gabriel silently faded back into the shadows, avoiding her gaze while he fought to get whatever emotions she had unleashed under control. She had surprised him. He had not been expecting her to kiss him, so he had not been prepared to deflect his emotions behind his usual stony response.

"You should not tease him unless you mean it," the Reverend quietly admonished her as soon as Gabriel went to a back room to get changed.

"He fears the Father will punish him?" Audrey asked, her old hatred of the Father filling her veins, but curiously detached from the fire which had consumed her before.

"He fears the Father will punish you," the Reverend said, giving her a pointed look. "Gabriel would go to hell and back for you. The only thing he fears is that his weakness will cause you to be punished."

His sin. The unknown angel in the dream had sneered at her about Gabriel being punished for his sin. The sin which had almost moved Lucifer to help him, but not quite. She needed to get Gabriel to talk about his brother.

"It was only a kiss," Audrey said, unconsciously wrapping herself in her arms as her voice became small and weak. "I didn't mean any harm."

"That's what I'm afraid of," the Reverend said. "Only a kiss. It means a hell of a lot more than that to him."

'Do you think I am made of stone, little Prophet?' Gabriel had asked her.

"Just don't tempt him unless you mean it," the Reverend said, his voice resigned and filled with regret. "Whether we agree with it or not, I think everybody on the planet knows by now that the Father's laws are a lot more than a bunch of musty old admonitions in some old religious texts."

"You think I should just leave him alone?" Audrey asked.

"I think you should not tempt him unless you feel the same way about him that he feels about you," the Reverend said, sighing. "I'm an Elvis-impersonating wedding singing minister. You've got to believe love will somehow find a way. But I've also seen countless couples get drunk and get married on a whim because they had an exciting romp in the hay, and then get divorced three days later because they didn't mean it. If you do that to him for naught, it will destroy him."

"I didn't mean any harm," Audrey whispered. "I didn't even … I didn't even start thinking of him that way until…" Her voice trailed off. There had been more than mischief in her kiss. She had kissed him because she was curious if he really had feelings for her and she wanted to know. The kiss had been impulsive. Made while wearing the persona of a powerful woman who had power over a desirable man.

She had kissed him expecting him to make some stiff, indignant response. Ruffle his feathers with disapproval. Tell her it was inappropriate for a Prophet of the Lord to fling herself at a male. She had kissed him because she had wanted to know. Was he made of stone?

He was not!

And she realized what that feeling was that had been clamoring for her attention for quite some time. She was glad he was not made of stone, for it had only been the belief that he was unfeeling and untouchable, a belief he had been going out of his way to perpetuate even though it was a lie, which had caused her to compartmentalize him in her mind and hold him at arms' length so she didn't get hurt.

At what point had she started thinking of Gabriel as more than her protector?