Glancing down at his wrist as the map being displayed on his omnitool burned orange, the flashing red dot beeped the closer he got to Shepard's position, Garrus stuck out his hand in a fist. His team stopped immediately behind him. He needed to survey the area, to assess all entry and exit points, any possible ambushes that could be waiting for them. Sighting through his scope he couldn't see anything suspicious. The dockworkers went about their business, unloading and reloading crates onto their various ships and he rumbled in frustration. Garrus didn't sense any danger in the immediate area. He signalled to his team to follow him as he checked him omnitool again for directions.

Passing by a warehouse, the three men silently snuck past until they came to a clearing where an empty dock was situated. Crates were stacked in the corner and Garrus' heart sped up along with the beeping from his arm. He motioned for his men to keep watch as he walked with leaden feet towards the blinking spot. The signal was coming directly from behind those crates. He found himself unable to move. What if he found her body? What if she had bled out behind those crates? What would he do…what could he do if she was dead? He swallowed his nausea as his thoughts led him further and further into despair. Placing his rifle back into his holster, he reached out a hand to the crate and his talons dragged around the wooden surface as he started to circle it.

Please Spirits…

Don't be dead…

Don't do this to me…

He shut his eyes as he reached the back of the crate and taking a breath through his mouth he couldn't taste the coppery smell of her blood in the air, he couldn't taste, sense or smell much of anything other than the general odour that accompanied the docks. He opened his eyes and dropped them to the floor. His relief was palpable as he saw no body. No blood. That relief however, turned to a cold stabbing pain in his heart as he saw Shepard's omnitool lying on the ground.

She had left him.

She had walked away from him.

This was the only other logical reason for her omnitool to be lying here. She must have taken it off on purpose so that no one could track her whereabouts. His relief at her being alive was weighed down by the sudden breaking of his heart. He clutched at his chest as he started to moan, leaning one hand on the crate he bent himself forward and gasped for breath into the crook of his arm as his heart beat painfully slow in his chest.

Thud. Thud… Thud.

He couldn't breathe. What was he going to do without her? He was tied to her, it's not like he could accept her leaving and just move on with his life. As if though he had never met her. Never loved her.

''Sir? Did you find anything?'' he heard Tiberius ask through the receiver in his ear.

Garrus brought his hand up and wiped at his dry, irritated eyes with one hand and took a few steady breaths. Now was not the time to lose himself, he could do that tonight in the privacy of his own home, preferably with a few bottles of brandy to help him through it. He would allow himself one day to just completely feel… well... everything he supposed.

''Yes, her omnitool. It appears that there was no struggle and that it was taken off her wrist without force. We need to check the security footage and find out if there was a ship docked here any time between 21:00 hours last night up until now.'' He said, walking back to his men.

''Let's head back to C-sec and we'll review and take it from there. Shepard is still missing, but my earlier suspicions of her being abducted still stand until I see evidence to the contrary.'' He said quietly.

''We'll find her Sir.'' One of his men clapped him on the back and smiled reassuringly at him.

Garrus couldn't find it in himself to the return the gesture.

''Nihlus… Stop that!'' she laughed as he once again trailed a nail down her bare foot.

''Seriously, I'm trying to read here and you're making it difficult.'' She scolded him, a smile on her face as he flicked his one mandible to the side and winked at her.

''What are you concentrating on anyway?'' He rumbled, climbing up the bed to take a seat next to her, fluffing up the pillows for his back.

''By now, those two men I killed should have been found. You'd think it would be breaking news but I can't find mention of it anywhere.'' She hummed, continuing to scroll down on the datapad with her index finger.

''Well, maybe Chellick found out you were connected somehow and hushed it up.'' He said, rolling on his side so that he could look at her.

''You know Chellick?'' she asked in surprise.

''Yeah, the two of us go way back.'' He chuckled.

''Well, if Chellick knows about it, then that means that Garr…'' Shepard bit her lip; she didn't want to say his name.

''Then it's safe to assume that Vakarian knows about it too.'' He said softly.

''Shepard? Not that I don't enjoy your company, but are you sure you don't want to go back? He's tied himself to you and as reluctant as I am to let go of you now that I have you all to myself, I kind of feel bad for the guy.'' He admitted.

''Why would you feel bad for him?'' she asked, putting the datapad down to look over at him.

''Because he has soul tied to you.'' Seeing her confused expression he groaned.

''Shepard please tell me , that all those years that you lived on Palaven, that you at least researched something about turian mating practices and the instinctual rituals that take place when a Turian soul ties to someone?'' he sat up as she continued to frown at him.

''Well fuck me this is awkward.'' He said, rubbing the back of his head.

''I didn't ever look into the mating rituals of Turians, because up until almost two months ago I had never slept with one before.'' She hissed, getting pissed off that he was making her sound like some ignorant fool.

''Don't get upset Shepard, I didn't mean any harm. Look here's the thing with soul ties and bonding…'' he hummed as he tried to find the words in his head.

''For example, you and me? I have made it no secret that I want to have sex with you. It will be great and we would have a lot of fun. But I have no interest in any romance or relationships. And the chance of you being my soul mate as well as Garrus' is highly unlikely….'' He rambled, getting completely off topic.

''Nihlus, apart from you just telling me that you'd like to have a quick fuck and go our separate ways after, I'm not hearing an explanation about Garrus.'' She said, her mouth turning into a scowl as he held up a hand.

''Garrus is soul tied to you. You are his soul mate. And his body has chosen you as its mate. It's actually quite fascinating when you think about the fact that you are a different species and that you can never have children together…anyway, it means that if you die… he dies. If he dies… well, I'm not really sure what happens to humans as I haven't met another Turian who's done something like this with a human. Guess you'll find out. Or not as the case may be.'' He chuckled when he saw her mouth drop open and a hand fly up to cover it as she leapt off the bed.

''Garrus is also bonded to you, which in simple terms, means that in his eyes, you are his wife. You are his mate. You, my dear flustered human… you are his life.''

''No! Tell me that there is something that he can do to… I don't know... sever the tie? Move on?'' Her voice getting louder as she paced up and down, biting her nails to the quick.

''Shepard, you're doing it again, don't get upset. Control it, don't let it control you.'' He drawled and watched Shepard suck in a breath through her nose and release it through her mouth.

She stopped pacing and stood at the edge of the bed.

''So, let me get this straight. By leaving him… I've what exactly? Doomed him to a lifetime of heartache and despair?'' she asked, her voice still carrying a shrill undertone but she managed to clamp down on the level.

''Uh… yeah… basically.'' Nihlus looked away seeing the horror in her eyes.

''But… I can't go back Nihlus…'' she said sadly, a watery smile on her face as she gave a sniff.

''Why Shepard? Surely the two of you can face this together? If it helps, I have recommended that he be placed in the Spectre program…'' Nihlus stood up to wrap his arms around her, a comforting gesture which Shepard appreciated.

''It might help. But there are other … complications. '' she said quietly into his shoulder.

''For Spirits sake woman, would you just tell me already what this big secret of your is already?'' he groaned when he felt her shake her head.

''It's a foolish human superstition Nihlus.'' She mumbled.

Shepard believed the old wives tales she had heard, that you should tell no one that your are expecting a baby until you are past the three month mark, in the event that –god forbid- you miscarried and had to tell everyone about it afterwards. She couldn't tell him. Not yet.

''Fine, I'll let it go for now.'' He said giving her a last squeeze and stepping back.

''Shepard? Random question for you… '' he asked.

''Go on.'' Shepard replied, going to sit back down on the bed to gather her thoughts, wiping her eyes.

''Ever since I found you in the hospital, beneath all the sweat, blood, grime and medi-gel, you smell so, so sweet… what is it?'' he drawled.

''Oh, I must have smelled like vanilla…'' she hummed.

''No, I could identify that scent. It's a favourite amongst the Asari, but surely after the shower you had earlier that scent should have disappeared? Did you use something new?''

''You know I don't even have a toothbrush with me Nihlus, so no… I don't know why I smell so sweet, as you say, but as long as it's not offensive…it's not offensive is it?'' she gasped when she wondered if he was actually trying to tell her that she stinks.

She saw the same conclusion come to him and he brought his hands up and trilled at her, shaking his head.

''No, Shepard. You misunderstand. I like it… a lot. I was just wondering if you knew what the scent was called that's all. Never mind.'' He said with wave of his hand.

''We should be reaching Palaven tomorrow and I have a few reports to finish so I'll leave you alone for now.'' he said.

''I'll be here.'' She said waving a hand goodbye as he no doubt went to set up shop at the small kitchen table.

Shepard picked her datapad up but couldn't focus, as the words blurred in front of her. Now that she was alone and had nobody to tell her to control her emotions, she let a few of the tears that were blurring her vision, falling down her cheeks as she thought of the pain she was currently putting Garrus through.

She prayed to god that she would be forgiven for this one day, for not just leaving him, but for destroying him.

Arriving back at the station, Garrus was numb from the inside out. His plates taking on a paler hue than was normal and his eyes were darting back and forth between nothing and everything.

''Garrus… Garrus, did you find her?'' Chellick trilled in concern when he met Garrus' eyes.

''I-I think she left me boss. Spirits, I think she left me.'' He keened.

''You don't know that Garrus. Shepard is many thing but a coward is not one of them. She wouldn't have left you just because someone was threatening her life. She could have left to protect you, or her father.'' Chellick hummed, putting a hand on Garrus' shoulder.

''I hear from your squad that you found her omnitool and that you need access to the surveillance on the docks?'' Garrus nodded his head at Chellick.

''Follow me to my office Garrus; you are officially on holiday for the rest of the week. No sense coming to work in your state unless we find Shepard first. Also, I've received word that you need to report to Jondam Bau next week to start your spectre training. You will need as much rest as you can possibly get before then.'' Chellick said as the two of them walked to his office.

Upon entering, Garrus slumped into a chair and closed his eyes. He heard a tinkling sound of glass clinking against each other and Chellick chirruped to get him to take the brandy he had just pulled from his drawers in the corner of his office.

''Today, I think we could do with a drink. To calm ourselves of course.'' The executor rumbled.

Garrus remained stony and silent as he sipped his drink, his eyes taking on a haunted expression the longer he sat still. Chellick sighed and wracked his brain for anything to say to make the younger turian show some sign, any sign in fact, that he wasn't slowly losing his mind. Pressing a few keys on his terminal on the desk, he sent a letter to docking controls to get them to send over the footage of where Shepard's omnitool was found and waited in silence with Garrus till he received a ping.

''Garrus, I know you're not going to like what I'm about to say, so please, for my sake, try and remain calm.'' He watched the younger turian lift his head as a small flicker of life passed over his face.

''I have just been informed that the footage we are trying to obtain has been marked as classified.'' Chellick rumbled out.

Garrus snarled and banged his fist down on the desk causing his glass that he had placed there to topple over and Chellick watched the fluid seep into his wooden desk.

''Goddamn it all to hell!'' Garrus shouted.

''This is not as bad as it sounds Vakarian. The reason it's classified is because the only people who are capable of doing something like that are the council members or… Spectres.'' He breathed out.

''Spectres? Why would Shepard have left with a spectre? Wait….. FUCKING NIHLUS, THAT BASTARD!'' Garrus roared as he remembered Shepard covered in his scent.

''Vakarian! Control yourself!'' Chellick hissed loudly.

Garrus swallowed his next roar only to kick the chair he had been sitting on his anger.

''That scumbag has been sniffing around her for weeks now. Is he why she left? Did she leave me for him? No, no. Shepard would never betray me like that. That fucker must have somehow convinced her that it was safer to leave and because he's a spectre he could somehow spirits-fucking protect her.'' Garrus grabbed onto his head as his instincts as a bonded mate demanded that he kill Nihlus.

Chellick watched warily as Garrus steadily became more enraged and unhinged. He was turning into a danger, not only to himself but to others. Chellick decided that there was only one thing left to do as Garrus continued to roar and kick the hell out of inanimate, stationary objects in his office. Chellick walked around his desk and tapped Garrus on the shoulder making him turn around.

He punched him, knocking him out cold.

Garrus fell to the floor and the room grew silent.

Ow... Fuck... Spirits... why does my jaw hurt so much? Garrus groaned to himself, his eyes still closed as he brought a hand up to delicately fondle his mandible and he hissed, feeling the bruise that had formed.

His eyes snapped open and he bolted upright as he remembered everything that had happened with a roar of anger.

''Garrus, lie back down at once my son!'' He heard his mother scream.

The shock of hearing her voice brought him to a standstill. He looked around him only just realising that he was in his own home, in his bedroom and not a moment later his mother walked in carrying a tray of food.

''Get your backside on that bed or so help me I will teach you a lesson you are not likely to forget about any time soon. Don't test me on this Garrus.'' Arcelia hissed at him as he opened his mouth to protest.

He grumbled through his fury and sat back down on the bed.

''How did I get here… the last thing I remember was… was finding out that Shepard had most likely left me for another Turian.'' He laughed bitterly as his mother trilled at him to stop his foolishness.

''If I know anything Garrus, it is that Shepard would never, ever betray you. So get rid of those thoughts. They aren't helping anyone. '' she chirruped,

''Now you are going to eat and then you and I will discuss a few things.'' She said and he rolled his eyes at her mothering him.

''You might be a grown man Garrus, but your behaviour today in Chellick's office was that of a three year old throwing a particularly nasty tantrum. When Veridian called me to tell…'' she said but stopped as he snarled.

''Is that how I got back … help from my so-called father?!'' He spat.

Arcelia growled at him and before he could duck she swatted him hard over his fringe making him yelp.

''Spirits mother, what the hell was that for?'' he moaned as his aching jaw now fought for competition with his fringe in the pain department.

''You will not disrespect your father any more and certainly not in front of me. He told me of your encounter today and while I won't say that he didn't half deserve it, but that attitude of yours also needs to stop right now.'' Garrus looked up at her from his seated position, alternating between rubbing his jaw and fringe as he scowled at her.

''Chellick, as you have by now figured out, made you eat the floor this afternoon because you were about to cost him two thousand credit chits in damages and apparently he feared for his safety if he continued to let you… well, turn into a mindless animal like our ancestors. He then called your father, who called me, to come and get you and bring you home.''

''I don't blame him for punching me and looking back on it now, I get it.'' He muttered his reluctant admission.

''Mom, dad isn't here is he?'' Garrus looked around, almost expecting his father to be standing in the doorway with his natural glare plastered on his face.

''No, I thought it would be best if he waited until you'd calmed down.'' Arcelia hummed.

''Ah, OK. Thanks. I-I don't think I could handle any more shit today.'' Ducking just in time as his mother attempted to swat him on the head again she laughed at him and he broke into a tiny smile of his own.

Arcelia smiled at him, shaking her head at this reckless, foolish but lovable son of hers. He had more in common with his father than she would ever admit to him.

''Let's talk Garrus. There are a few things you need to know about and a few things I have heard rumours about... Spectre candidate right?'' she asked.

''OK, here's what you need to know.'' He trilled sadly, sighing as he looked for the best place to start.