Vex POV:

We're forced to walk slightly off the trail and pitch up camp before we return to Clavicus Vile. Cupcake and Lucky are still tied up near Falkreath, so the windstorm that comes along is too much for the Khajiit and I to push through. Barbas could easily push through the raging wind, but the dog decides it's better to stay with us rather than trust us with the axe alone. It takes the knight almost an hour to nail everything that needs nailing and spike everything else, though in the end our camp can withstand the storm without blowing away.

The only downside to the camping situation is the Khajiit and I are separated and without a fire to warm us. I'm settled up in a sort of overhanging tent that bounds and jostles with the wind while the knight is barely within sight inside a half-up tent that's force to strain against the storm. Barbas has decided to stay with me since my tent's actually erected and large enough for two. For a while, we're silent as I watch the storm. The tent is snapping around me as the trees are forced to kneel to the wind.

Darkness only makes the storm worse as a light sprinkling of rain begins to descend. I'm finally forced to pull my tent together when the rain begins to flood down from the sky. The screaming of the wind can't be silenced by shutting my tent, but it's still muffled. I do my best to lie down and get comfortable. It's no use. The screaming, freezing, pounding storm refuses to let me sleep. And, Barbas decides it's time to start talking to me instead of the Khajiit.

"Kid.". I grunt and close my eyes.

"Kid.". I open them as I feel his presence dangling over me. Two brown, soft eyes are digging into my own.

"Kid.". A thump that I realize is him wagging his tail.

"Kid.". Finally, I acknowledge him.

"What?". The thumping gets harder.

"Sit up.". I groan, but Barbas is immune to any harm and boundless in energy. Trying to outlast him is futile. I sit up. The dog runs around me before sitting down in front of me like an actual person.

"I need to talk to you.".

Great.

"About what?". A smile that's all too human.

"You're buddies with the knight.". Not a question, but I still nod at it. He cocks his head a little in a way that sends shivers up my spine.

"You know, the best way to that woman's heart is food.". I bring my hands to my head and begins rubbing my temples. Obviously, Barbas has some plan in mind that I can't even fathom or even begin to try to imagine.

"Why exactly are you telling me how to pal around with her? I think I'm doing a pretty damned good job on my own.". The dog adjust his sitting position until he's up on his haunches with his arms crossed. His smile only seems to get larger and toothier. Still, his eyes are the same soft brown of every stray dog I've ever seen.

"I'm not saying you're doing a bad job. You just aren't doing an effective job.". I scoff. Barbas might know almost everything, but he doesn't know anything about this.

"I know everything from when she was a child to what she did yesterday. She knows who I am, where I'm from, and why I'm here. We know damned near everything about one another and I enjoy being around her. Besides, I'm pretty sure she likes being around me. We're buddies and I don't need you telling me how to be her pal.". The dog tsks with his tongue in a way no normal dog would be able to.

"You like being around each other, that's true. You know a lot about each other, that's true.". He throws his head in the direction the Khajiit's tent is.

"She doesn't know you're her friend.". I bury my head in my hands and scream louder than the howling wind.

"Why wouldn't she think we're friends? We're clearly friends!". I look up and see the dog perking his floppy ears up into points.

Not comforting.

"I can see into her heart. She's never had a friend as deeply as you. Nobody wanted to be pals with someone that has a Daedric Prince inside them. Oblivion, she only knew her husband for a month before marrying him to try to get the Daedric Prince out of her.".

I'm not going to ask about her husband. That's her business and she'll tell me if she wants to. Barbas is just baiting me.

"She only knew her husband for a month?". He nods his head and crosses his hind legs like he's a man.

"Didn't want to marry him, but he was pious and devout. Knights thought forcing them together every hour of every day would cure her. She fell in love along the way, but only after a year of hostility. He's besides the point, though. We're talking about you and her. She doesn't know you think of her as a friend. She thinks of you as someone who tolerates her presence.".

That's really, really sad. She deserves to know she has a friend. The knight's suffered enough.

"Alright, I'll bite. What can I do to make her realize I'm her friend?". Barbas uncurls and drops back down into a normal dog's sitting position.

"Leave that to me.". Instantly, I open my mouth and thrust my hands out in an attempt to get Barbas to stop whatever he's about to do. The last thing I want is a Prince meddling in my affairs. It's too late, though. Barbas bounds out of the tent without opening the door and flies off into the knight. I groan and bury my head in my hands again. I've hardly calmed down when Barbas is fighting his way back into the tent through the closed door. Wind and water both come in with him and I quickly rip open the door to help him in.

Why didn't he just leap in through the fabric like when he left?

My question is answered as soon as Barbas gets in. Barbas has three dead squirrels hanging from his mouth by their tails. Without thinking, I treat the Daedric Prince like an actual dog that's brought me something dead.

"Out! Out, out, out, out!". I grab him by the scruff of the neck and yank as hard as I can. I end up flipping myself back onto my back and looking up at the dog's cargo. Six lifeless eyes gaze down at me. I quickly push off of Barbas and send myself to the other side of the tent. The Prince speaks with his kills still dangling from his mouth.

"I got you some squirrels to cook for her!". This time, instead of using my hands I bury my face in my pillow to scream. When I pull up I ask an obvious question.

"Why am I cooking her squirrels?". Barbas spits the corpses out at my feet. I cringe and lightly kick the somehow clean corpses away from me.

"Squirrels are her favorite meal.". Clearly, he knows I'm doubtful because he elaborates as to why they're her favorite meal.

"When she lived in the woods with Sif for all those years, deer and beaver were the main two things Fenrir would bring her. Squirrels were too quick for the wolf to catch, so getting one was special. Then, on the way back with the knights squirrels were the only thing your buddy could catch. Everything else was too big for her to take down. So, squirrels are associated with good memories in her life: getting a treat from Fenrir, or the journey back to the knights.". Clearly, I'm not going to cook the Khajiit squirrels. It is my turn to cook whenever we set up camp next, but I'm not feeding her varmints to show her I think of her as a true friend.

"Thanks, but I think I'm just going to tell her I think of her as a friend.". I pick up the soaked, dripping squirrels and prepare to toss them outside for some wild animal-or even Sif-to come and get as a free meal.

"She won't believe you.". I've lifted the bottom of the tent up with three squirrels in one hand. I pause and look at Barbas. The hound is smiling at me with his head titled to the side. I suck in a deep breath and, slowly, let it out. I know she won't believe me if I just tell her. She's just so unfamiliar with interacting with people and she's so paranoid because of Vaermina. I lower the tent and pull a knife from my boot. I begin cutting as I talk to Barbas.

"Can you eat?". I barely glance up to see him nodding.

"Care for some guts and skin?". A pause.

"Eh, I could eat.". It takes me an hour, but in the end I have three headless, pawless, and gutless squirrel carcasses in front of me. The final step is letting Barbas chow down on the parts I can't use while I stick my hands holding the corpses outside to both wash the meat and myself. I've barely gotten my hands back inside when Barbas begins licking his lips to show me he's done. I don't bother thanking the Prince as I begin looking in my bag for something to put the torsos in. I find an empty sack, shake the squirrels dry, and put them in the bag.

"I swear, you'd better not be lying to me.". Barbas nudges me as I put the sack back in my pack.

"Trust me, just give her a nice dinner and tell her you think of her as a good friend. I'd suggest putting some wild garlic you'll find in the chest cavities and hanging them over the fire until they're golden and the onions have melted. Everything will work out from there as long as you give her the meat and tell her she's your friend. Also, I wouldn't bring up her husband. Too many painful memories.". That gets my attention.

"Why would I bring up her husband?". Barbas shrugs his nonexistent shoulders at me.

"I can't tell you. Just don't bring him up under any circumstances.". I trust Barbas as far as I can throw him, but that doesn't stop me from taking his advice to heart.

Just give her the squirrels, say you're her friend, and don't mention her husband. Easy enough.

I don't say anything else to Barbas as I curl up into my sleeping bag for the night. The storm's died down enough I can sleep without the fear of blowing away. Barbas, however, doesn't need to sleep. Somehow, falling asleep with a Daedric Prince hovering over me doesn't put me at ease. Still, I force myself to sleep. I have a long, long day ahead of me tomorrow. Especially if it involves cooking squirrels.

"Good job, kid!". I hang back as Barbas congratulates my friend. Clavicus Vile accepted the axe with some thanks before telling us Barbas would give us-really the Khajiit-our rewards. Now I just have to wait for the Khajiit to get rewarded so we can continue our request. Thankfully, Barbas remains true to his words.

"Take off your robes and sit down on the ground.". The knight easily sheds her scarlet robes, turns from the dog, and sits down in the snow without regards to getting snow on her ass. Both of us shudder as Barbas goes about slurping her back like wild. An extremely uncomfortable five minutes pass where Barbas does nothing other than slurp the Khajiit's back until it's soaking wet. Each lick causes the Khajiit and I both to jerk for different reasons. Finally, Barbas steps back. Already, I can see the burns and lashes on her back have disappeared. Though, that's not the end of her reward.

"Stand up and turn around.". When the Khajiit's standing Barbas continues her reward. He hops up onto two legs and slurps her right in the middle of the face. My friend splutters as Barbas explains.

"She can't get to you as strongly anymore. Not that Vaermina can't get to you, but it'll be like she's punching you through a pillow instead of without a blockage. Now, for the final half of your reward.". Barbas disappears in a flash and a helmet in the shape of Clavicu Vile's head takes his place. Barbas parting words ring out from the statue that's changed from Clavicus Vile alone to Clavicus Vile with Barbas at his side.

"The Masque of Clavicus Vile. You'll need it for your actual quest. Go to Markarth and speak to a priest outside the Hall of the Dead. You'll know what to do from there.". The room falls silent as I approach the Khajiit. My soaking friend is looking at me with a smile. I smile back.

"What are we waiting for?".